A Matter of Choice

 

Chapter Thirty-One

The next few days James floated on a cloud of euphoria. In his spare time he read the novel, thinking all the while: her hands were holding this book, stroking the binding, her fingers were leafing through the pages, her eyes were taking in these very words. Truth be told, much of the first three chapters barely registered; his mind would drift off into tangents as the scent of rose petals or lavender would suddenly waft up from the creamy pages. Saturday he had hopes of seeing Emily upon the road somewhere, but he was held up solving an issue between two of his tenant farmers. In the evening he took himself in hand. As he dressed carefully for dinner he reminded himself of the need to be circumspect in front of his cousins, resultantly he was never more aloof and reticent in the company of the Chestertons. He noticed Emily's confused glance thrown in his direction once or twice, and he tried to smile encouragement back, but knew not how well he had succeeded. He refused to do anything that would bring suspicion upon her head. He knew his cousins well enough to realise that they would misconstrue the type of friendship he and Emily shared.

Sunday they exchanged their usual greeting in church, and James noted a hint of concern in Emily's eyes. Once out on the porch he discovered that Lord Ralph had stayed behind to issue an invitation to Percy and himself for cards the following evening.

"Don't fob me off Warrington," he said as James politely declined. "We won't play for high stakes."

"Cousin James is game as a peg to join you!" cut in Percy. "He forgets that Sir Edward can spare him. Olivia will keep the old gentleman company for us, Cousin, won't you, my pet?" Percy turned to Olivia to include her in his plea.

"It would be my pleasure," said Olivia with alacrity. "Cousin James it's time you had a bit of bobbery. You are much too abstemious!" Though she was talking to James she managed to give all her attention to Lord Ralph.

James was left with no option but to accept. As they walked towards their carriages, Olivia somehow managed to fall back with Lord Ralph. She gave him a saucy smile and whispered, "My cousin is such a slow-top at times, but I am sure that you are always up to the rig!" Lord Ralph laughed and looked at her even more appreciatively.

By Monday afternoon James' euphoric state had completely disappeared, and instead he found himself assailed with doubts. Was he acting honourably by Miss Emily? Was he double dealing Lord Ralph? Were his motives as pure as he pretended? He knew that on no account did he want her to marry the man, but he also knew that he had no right to interfere. He had no right to feel all up in a cloud after spending time alone with her. He had no right to spend time alone with her. He had no right to give her flowers. But, he told himself, there is nothing wrong with friendship. He assured himself of the complete innocence of their relationship. She deserved to find friendship where she chose, and if his feelings for her were perhaps a little stronger than they should be, it was his duty to keep them at bay. One day even her friendship would be lost to him; he meant to keep it for as long as he could, no matter the consequences to himself. He tied his cravat carelessly. He was not looking forward to an evening in Lord Ralph's company, but there was no avoiding it.

James took no delight in gambling, but he could hold his own at the card table. He had a quick mind and always kept a clear head. Bertie, on the other hand, was freely tossing back his brandy and well on his way to getting fuddled, with Lord Ralph close behind. As for Percy, he had all the appearance of being a trifle overtaken, but James could swear he had been limiting his drinking and decided he was throwing dust in their eyes. He was losing more games than he ought, too, and James intended to keep an eye on him. He wouldn't put it past him to raise the stakes and then have a high run of luck. Percy played more than one game at a time.

"Your sister's a regular out ‘n outer, Farquar," said Percy jovially.

Lord Ralph bridled. "Remember, that's a lady you're talking about, Braithwaite," he slurred. "Damn fine lady!" Bertie just laughed.

"She's a pretty little coquette! I've a fancy to try my luck with her," smirked Percy.

Lord Ralph looked at him with disdain. "Soph . . . Miss Farquar wouldn't give you the time of day. She's besotted with me!"

"M'sister you're speaking of, you Nodcocks!" said Bertie.

"She has nothing but my respect and undying devotion," said Percy. "I'll wager you, Farquar, that she don't care a straw for Lord Ralph."

"You may as well give me your purse right now," said Bertie. "She's been making sheep's-eyes at him for years!"
Lord Ralph gave Percy a gloating look.

"I'll win her from him then," said Percy boldly.

"I'll wager you can't," said Lord Ralph confidently.

"You're on!" Percy sat back and finished dealing the cards, a look of satisfaction on his face.

"Your sister's a tidy piece too," Bertie said to Percy. "She's up to my standards!"

"Is she?" asked Percy. "She was saying much the same thing to me about you."

"Can't say as I blame her," said Bertie, puffing out his chest.

Lord Ralph snorted. "She has been making up to me ever since she arrived. If you think she'd look at you, you're wide of the mark!"

"She's quite taken with your lordship too," said Percy. "But I'll put my money on Farquar!"

"Bertie!" Lord Ralph laughed. "Over me? Have you windmills in your attic?"

"Stands to reason," said Percy. "You're engaged. I know my sister. She's a high stickler; won't carry on flirtations with a man who's spoken for. Won't queer the pitch for a friend, and she's taken quite a liking to Miss Sidford."

"What's Emily got to do with it?" Lord Ralph expostulated.

James' head shot up. "I'd say she has quite a lot to do with it. You are engaged to her. She deserves your respect."

"Don't get all up in the boughs! If I didn't know better I'd think you wanted her yourself, but I know you are hanging after the parson's daughter."

"I am not hanging after Miss Chesterton. I am in no position to hang after anyone," said James flatly.

"Won't fadge, Warrington," said Bertie. "She's got you in her pocket, and everybody knows it!"

Percy gave James a look. "I don't think my cousin wants the lady to be a topic of gossip," he said. "We are talking about flirtations, his intentions are in a more serious vein."

"I have no intentions," said James.

"Take a damper, Warrington," cried Bertie. "Live a little! I know some rare beauties I could match you with. They don't care about intentions so you'd be all set" The other two laughed at this, and James looked back at his hand.

He came away from the table that night with more winnings than he could rightly feel good about, but he did not regret it for a moment. Lord Ralph's dismissal of Emily's right to consideration was outside of enough. It was a long time since he had let his anger get the better of him like that, and he had almost scotched it. Beating them at cards had been his only outlet for his anger without completely giving himself away. He did not like the rumour about himself and Miss Chesterton, but he had denied it, and if no one believed him that was up to them. At least it prevented other speculation.

James threw the money on his nightstand with distaste. He would use it to buy books for Miss Chesterton's school. The irony of Lord Ralph, Farquar, and Percy being benefactors of the school was somewhat amusing.

The next day, as he rode along the lane that followed the southwest border of Barstow's park, James' doubts began to return. Was he wrong in furthering his friendship with Emily? As he was taking pains not to give her excess notice in public, did that make these private meetings secretive? Clandestine? Was her need of friendship as strong as he believed, or was he merely being selfish? No. He had noticed the change in her, how she had opened up and blossomed. She enjoyed learning new things; she valued having her opinions listened to. She needed to know there was more to life than the empty shell of her destined future; a shell she had never imagined she could fill for herself. But still he had concerns. She was betrothed to Lord Ralph; it was an inescapable fact. He did not deserve her, but if it wasn't him, it would be someone else with the money and prestige her parents desired. Was he really doing her a service by offering a friendship that could never prosper?

He walked the horse slowly, hesitantly. Sophocles' hooves barely sounded on the grassy lane. He rounded a curve and before him, sitting on the gate in the midday sun, was Emily, her bonnet hanging from the gatepost, her hair in fine braids wound about her head, her sea-green gown billowing in the light breeze. She was gazing at the hills, oblivious to his presence, one hand held up to shade her eyes from the low winter sun. All his previous thoughts dissipated. There was only one focus, one need, one moment in time. She was here and everything else was like an obscuring mist that vanished with her presence. He rode closer, the bridle chinked, she turned her head. The smile she gave him sent warmth through his body, returning him to that euphoric state where everything was possible and nothing else mattered.

 

Chapter Thirty-Two

"Don't twist about so, Emily," cried her mother. "I want to see exactly how the fabric is falling. Oh! I do wish you had allowed Mme Fanchot to sew your gown! I want you to look perfect for the assembly."

"Mother, you have pinned the bodice much too tightly. Please leave it to Aunt Letty. She truly knows what she is about," answered Emily in exasperation. "I do not understand what makes this assembly so important! I already have a gown that I had intended to wear."

"You have worn that gown twice in the last six months! I am certain that Miss Rutherford and Sophie will both be wearing new gowns. I will not have you looking like a dowd!"

Emily sighed. It was true; the two girls could talk of nothing but their new gowns. She looked down at the apricot silk she was draped in. Her mother had wanted primrose yellow and this had been her compromise. How she wished Lady Prescott were here to support her in her desires for a higher neckline and looser bodice. She felt deprived of breath. After her mother departed the room, Letty came to her rescue and loosened the pins.

"I think I have some pale rose velvet ribbon in my workbox, and a length of Spanish lace a soft ivory colour we could use to trim the bodice and raise the neckline a bit," she said comfortingly. "In that way we can please both your mother and yourself."

"It is a deal more fancy than what I would like to wear," said Emily, shaking her head.

"You will look very pretty," said her aunt.

"Well, if we must, we must," said Emily in resignation, ignoring her aunt's comment. She changed back into her housedress and sat to thread a needle. She took up the hem of the gown while her aunt worked on the fine detailing of the bodice. "Do you suppose it will snow before Friday?"

"The sky is very white and low. It is a sure sign."

"I wish for snow to block the roads and keep us all home that night!"

"Emily! When I was your age I used to long for a ball. What is it, my dear?"

"It is just all so tedious, Auntie!" she said. " I will dance two with Lord Ralph, and two with Bertram Farquar, and then Lord Ralph will take me down to supper. Sophie will be vexing and Olivia will play her tricks on me. I am afraid I will be obliged to dance with Mr. Braithwaite as well, which I can't like at all. I would much rather stay here with you and sit by the fire and read!"

"Do you really dislike it so very much, dear?" asked Letty.

"No Auntie! Excuse my crochets. I do like dancing, and I enjoy the music. It is mainly this dress that has made me peevish. Mama is putting me in competition with Sophie and Olivia. It is not a competition I want to take part in. They are welcome to try to outdo one another with elaborate styles but it is not for me. I have always avoided these frills and flounces."

"Don't upset yourself. We will not add the flounces to the skirt and it will look very elegant. I shall contrive a trim with the velvet ribbon instead."

"Mother will be cross," sighed Emily. "We should just do it her way."

Letty smiled comfortingly. "When your mother sees how beautiful you look in it she will understand that you have no need of such fussy styling. Leave it all to me." She patted Emily's hand and they resumed sewing. Letty told Emily of bygone assemblies, when she danced in much more elaborate costumes, and of the one person in particular who had made those occasions so special. They were bittersweet memories, but she focused on the happy times of courtship, not the harrowing months that followed her young captain's posting to the peninsula, and the final letter that destroyed all her hopes and dreams.

Letty looked out the window at the pearly sky. "High time you went for your walk, young lady. It does you so much good, even in this weather; I don't want you to miss it. Make haste for I fear it is going to snow before the night is upon us."

Emily thanked her aunt and rushed from the room. As Letty took up her needle again her mind went back in time. She could almost hear the tinkle of the piano, and his carefree tenor as he accompanied her in a ballad. She sighed; if only Emily could know a love like that. But she doubted that even time could bring that kind of closeness to her and Lord Ralph. Still, this dress could possibly make him look twice at his betrothed and get his mind off those two flashy bits, then he just might notice her other fine qualities and begin to appreciate her a bit more. And if he showed her more appreciation, maybe Emily would warm to him. If it was up to Letty, she would not have championed the match, but it was made so very long ago. If only he had grown up with a mind and a soul to match his handsome face. She thought of all the young gentlemen in the vicinity, and her mind caught on only one who she felt would do for her Emily. But what was the sense of vain wishes? She would be better occupied in dreaming of the past and setting her stitches as neatly as possible.

Emily turned her collar up and stuffed her hands deep into her fur muff. The sky was low and heavy with snow. Her breath billowed before her. The leafless trees held their branches high; wavering in the indistinct light, they almost melted into the very air. She hoped she had not missed him. It seemed the only way they could talk openly as friends was in the outdoors, away from all the social games. Now, even at the parsonage their conversation was constrained. She had at first been concerned that she had in some way offended him, but when he had arrived on Tuesday last, as she sat waiting on the gate, his greeting did much to reassure her. She smiled, remembering how his eyes warmed when she had asked him of his sister, Mary. He had talked at length about her, until Emily felt that she knew her too. She envisioned a girl with James Warrington's eyes, sparkling with hidden laughter, running through the meadows, paddling in the streams, and climbing in the apple trees in her stockinged feet. Carefree and happy and full of life.

From Mary they had gone on to talk of the rest of his family; his other sister Anne who was casting for a lord, his brother George, a captain of the 9th Hussars, who had a lovely little estate in Bedfordshire, and his brother Randolph who was to be the next Sir Warrington, and preferred life in the city to his estate. Of his parents he spoke with reverence and love, and Emily wished her own could inspire such feelings in her. But they were cold and remote; the only relationship she had that was close to what he described was that with her aunt Letty. He apologised for rambling on and boring her about his family, but she assured him that, as an only child, she enjoyed hearing about what she had missed in growing up alone. They had talked for far too long that day and she had made her way home through the shadowy dusk. Today the visit would have to be brief.

When Emily arrived at the gate, the first thing she saw was Sophocles' big head reaching over it. She went to him and rubbed his nose, whispering endearments. His breath billowed out in warm gusts. James was nowhere to be seen.

"Are you having a nice visit with my friend?"

Emily turned and saw James standing on the other side of the fence, his hands behind his back. "Which one of us are you talking to?" she asked. He was smiling warmly at her, causing her to break into an irrepressible smile.

"Sophocles. But I don't need to ask. I can see by his expression that he was well entertained."

"Indeed," she said. "We both were."

James pulled his hands from behind his back and held out a small bunch of witch hazel. "While I was waiting I found some more," he said as he passed them to her.

Emily took the branches and gazed softly at the flowers. "I wonder where you are finding them?" she mused. "I hope you have not been waiting long."

"Not at all. The flowers are just down the lane and I took the chance to run and cut them. I knew Sophocles would keep you until I returned."

"Thank you."

"I was afraid you would not come. It is so cold, and about to snow."

"I would have been sooner but I was fitting my new gown." She made a little face. "Luckily Aunt Letty sent me out to get some air."

James laughed. "Mary makes just such a face when she has been obliged to do something she does not want to do, like stand still while pins are poked into her."

"That is usually the result of not standing still, sir!" laughed Emily, then she quieted and hesitated a bit before she continued. "Will you be attending the assembly?"

James looked at her face. He had not intended to go, but she appeared so shyly wistful that he could not say no. "I will try to manage it," he said softly. Her pleased smile in response made him glad of his answer, and though he longed to ask her to save him a dance he knew it was something that he should not do. Once he was there, and had danced with Ruth Chesterton, Olivia, the Lampton sisters, and even Sophie Farquar, then he would ask to take her to the floor in front of everybody, where Lord Ralph could smile on the request as a politeness she was due, nothing more. The silence between them lengthened, but was not uncomfortable. Emily stroked Sophocles' neck and looked at the sky.

"Do you think it will snow very much?"

"Maybe not this first snowfall, but old Mr. Turnbull says that he expects a heavy snow after the weekend. Old farmers have a feel for the weather; so far his predictions have been accurate. I will not expect to see you next week. I would not have you come out in a heavy snow."

"Then it is good that we shall see each other at the assembly, though it will not be the same."

No, it will not be the same, thought James. We will have to be formal and stiff with each other, and I shall have to make it through a dance with you without giving myself away. James glanced up at the sky; it seemed close to breaking apart into tiny pieces, near ready to fall upon them. "You must go back to your house now. It is about to snow."

"And you must leave and get Sophocles back to his stable." Emily rubbed the big horse's nose again.

James looked at her hand and longed to take it in his as he said goodbye, but he only smiled, turned his horse and mounted. "Take care," he said and rode from her view.

Emily stood by the gate a moment and then returned her hands to her muff, tucking the branches of witch hazel in with them. She quickly walked back along the path. Suddenly her feet had begun to feel the cold and she stamped them as she hurried along. The sky was close over her head, the air around her had whitened, and before she reached the house, big feathery flakes of snow began drifting down around her.

 

Chapter Thirty-Three

The full moon glistened upon the crisp white fields causing a brightness that rivalled daytime. Carriages rumbled along snowy country lanes and roads, entering Greater Malvern's cobbled streets to stop before the grandly lit assembly rooms. Rugs were thrown back and gowns shaken out as ladies young and old descended from the carriages attended by their gentlemen. While the grooms led away horses, the partygoers entered the foyer and divested themselves of capes and muffs, topcoats, gloves and beavers. The sound of conversation and light music filled the air. The assembly was well attended and would be referred to the next morning, in the breakfast parlours of all the finest homes, as a terrible squeeze.

Mrs. Sidford had planned to arrive fashionably late and have Emily make a grand entrance, but she found that the Farquars and the parties from both Wilverton and Wortham were crushed together with her own in the little anteroom leading to the open double doors of the ballroom. Breathless greetings were exchanged as everyone stood in the cold air that blew through continually as the main door was constantly opened to new-comers. They entered the room as one large group and made their way through the crowds until they found a space to accommodate them at the side of the dance floor. Lady Prescott, Mrs. Sidford, and Mrs. Farquar seated themselves on the dainty chairs provided and busily arranged their skirts and patted their heads, ensuring that their elaborate head-dresses were in place. Only then were they at leisure to study the gowns of the young ladies before them - to praise, compare and criticise. It was soon established between them that a lovelier set of girls was not to be found in all the room.

Sophie was a froth of diaphanous layers of pink gauze over a glistening satin under-dress of the same colour. Diamonds glittered at her throat and wrists and silk rosebuds were sprinkled through her golden curls. Olivia was dressed in white, her bodice beaded in pearls and embroidered with tiny blue flowers. Her long white gloves reached almost to her high puff sleeves. Her pale hair fell in perfect ringlets from an arrangement of looping threads of pearls that graced the top of her dainty head. Emily, her elegant apricot gown rivalling the styling of these modiste creations, wore a simple peridot necklet, her dark hair circling her head in twisted braids and coils. Tiny butterflies of velvet ribbon nestled in the strands. Maude Sidford and Mrs. Farquar, though reticent to come to the point of saying it in so many words, were certain that their own daughter was by far the prettiest, while Lady Prescott teased them with praise of Olivia's exquisite beauty, at the same time quietly thinking to herself that she had never seen Emily in such good looks.

Lord Ralph was in a state of dizzy confusion that did not leave him all evening. He had no idea quite what to think, and led Emily out for the first dance in a flush of admiration that he had never before experienced.

"What on earth have you done with yourself tonight?" he asked. "You are looking exceedingly pretty. I am pleased to see that you have stopped sewing your own gowns. You quite put the other girls in the shade."

"Thank you," said Emily, unused to such an excess of flattery from her betrothed.

Further down the set, James Warrington, dancing with Ruth Chesterton, was having a difficult time keeping his eyes from straying in Emily's direction. From the moment she had walked through the front doors he had barely been able to keep his mind on anything else, and luckily the crush of the crowds had made his inattentiveness unnoticeable to his companions.

"She is very pretty tonight, isn't she?" said Ruth as the movements of the dance brought them together. James blushed and stammered something unintelligible, inwardly admonishing himself to not be such a fool.

The next dance, Lord Ralph was torn between asking Sophie and Miss Rutherford, but the choice was taken from him when Bertie walked off with the Dresden beauty.

Sophie gazed up at him with her brilliant blue eyes. "My lord, I have been waiting for you this age!" She laughed so delightfully that he wondered how he could even think to look at another girl. He felt a similar feeling when he led Olivia to the floor for the third dance. He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms. The heady feeling of being desired by these lovely creatures - and he couldn't doubt for a minute that their feelings for him either matched or surpassed his own for them - gave the evening a magical quality. He felt like Prince Charming. His generosity at bestowing his favours on other, lesser young ladies for intervening dances, amazed even him.

Bertie was labouring under similar, though not quite so grandiose, musings. Olivia Rutherford was a pretty little piece, quite dazzling enough to steal one's heart, but Miss Emily was also alluring in her aloof serenity. As he danced with her, he contemplated winning her heart away from Lord Ralph. He had a feeling his friend only owned a very small piece of it. As for Miss Rutherford, Bertie was positive that the look in her eyes when she laughed up at him was brighter than any she graced Lord Ralph with.

Percival Braithwaite was enjoying himself immensely. He had led that minx Sophie Farquar out for the first dance and enjoyed a delightful flirtation. When he won her hand again a little later in the evening, he subtly led her out upon the terrace.

"It gets so dashed hot in a crowded ballroom," he said.

"Lord yes!" cried Sophie in delight as she leant on the balustrade. "You read my mind sir!"

"I have an amazing ability as a mind reader," he said, leaning close in towards her. "Especially your mind."

Her heart beat with excitement. He wasn't as handsome as Lord Ralph, but he looked at one so, and he understood her so very well. "Pray tell, what am I thinking right now?"

"That the moon is full, and this night was made for love," he said, brushing his lips upon her hair.

She shivered, but not from the cold. She turned to face him boldly. "And now?" she said.

He placed his hand gently on her cheek. Her lips parted. "Now you want exactly what I want," he whispered. It was too easy, but that wasn't going to stop Percy. He bent in and just as his lips were about to brush hers, she turned her head and giggled softly.

"Mr. Braithwaite! You are so bad! An impressionable girl needs protection from a man with such powers as yours."

"You are wrong, goddess," he sighed. "I need to be protected from falling for your bewitching charms. I am completely yours to do with as you will."

Sophie reached out and ran a finger over the high arch of his cheekbone, "I'm afraid, good sir, that we will have to return to the dance floor," she cast him a glance from beneath lowered lids. "To stay out here any longer would not be safe."

Percy grabbed hold of her hand and kissed it and then with practised tenderness pulled her to him and whispered in her ear, "Would than we could stay out here forever!"

As he led her back to the dance floor, Sophie's colour was high and her heart was fluttering about her throat. Truly, if they had stayed out a moment longer, she couldn't have answered for herself.

Percy was pleased with the whole encounter, and quite content to have brought her to such a state. He knew he could now have been enjoying her deep kisses in the shadows, but he preferred it this way: to tease her and tantalise her until she was searching him out, filled with unleashed desire. He looked about the room, noting with pleasure the scowl on Lord Ralph's face, and sauntered over to ask Miss Sidford for a dance.

"I am sorry to have to refuse you, sir, but the next is a waltz and I have given Lord Ralph my word to waltz only with him." This was said in a polite level voice without the smallest hint of sorrow.

"Then may I beg the next country dance?" asked Percy, hopefully.

Emily felt bound to accept.

"And may I sit this dance out with you," he asked, taking the seat beside her. "Your betrothed appears to already have a partner.

Emily looked over to where her fiancé was dancing with Olivia in his arms. She did not feel the twinge of jealousy or regret that she ought. In her mind she knew she felt disappointment, but it was not in him, only in her situation. She sighed and Percy mistook her feelings.

"If you were promised to me, I would never treat you with such lack of feeling," he said softly.

She coloured a little at the familiarity he spoke with, and looked away. She saw James Warrington across the floor, sitting with the Miss Turnbulls, and her heart warmed. She didn't question why it mattered to her that he was not waltzing; she was just gladdened to see that he was not.

Percy sensed her relaxation, and thought that his gallantry had impressed her. "The waltz is a dance for lovers," he said in the same low voice. And then he added tentatively, "I would give anything to stand up with you at this moment."

Emily turned back to him with a startled look on her face. She had not been attending to him, her mind wandering pleasantly on its own course, but his comment had brought her back to her present predicament.

"Sir! I can't think you are aware what you are saying!"

"I am always aware of my words, my thoughts, my desires." He gazed into her eyes and smiled beguilingly.

"I must ask you to stop, or leave me," she said severely.

Percy realised he had overestimated his position. "I sincerely apologise. I let my feelings overrule my head. I beg your forgiveness," he whispered contritely. "What think you of the dance? Is not the room most tastefully appointed?"

"It is very refined," she answered happy with the change of conversation, but wishing he would go away. They continued conversing upon the same lines, Emily keeping her responses as brief as civility would allow.

Meanwhile, Lord Ralph was enjoying himself as never before. Miss Rutherford was so light and airy in his arms. The scent of her perfume, the feel of her dainty hand in his, were almost overpowering. She looked up at him and sighed. "You dance so very well," she said in a husky little voice. To Lord Ralph it was the height of erudition. He was trying to calculate how he was going to balance the three women in his life. He did not want to deny any one of them their due attention, nor did he want to deny himself.

Bertie looked over to the dance floor, one couple his focus of attention. He was beginning to feel very put out with Lord Ralph. What did he think he was doing waltzing with the Rutherford chit? As the couple twirled upon the floor, he met Olivia's eye, and he could have sworn she gave him a look of apology as if to say, ‘I'd rather it was you.' This did something to dissolve his fulminating rage, and he vowed to have her hand for the dinner dance.

They all went down to dinner paired up admirably; Emily on Lord Ralph's arm, Sophie on Percy's, Olivia on Bertie's and Ruth on James's. Bertie looked around and thought, ‘This is just as it should be.' Sophie could see no other solution either. Lord Ralph's arm must always be Emily's for dinner, and after their sojourn on the terrace, she was well pleased with Mr. Braithwaite's attention. Ruth was happy to be with Mr. Warrington, as no one else of the company pleased her more than he did, but she wished things could be otherwise and her two friends could be together.

After they were comfortably seated, she leaned towards James and said, "I hope you will allow yourself a dance with her."

He looked at Ruth and considered how to answer her. They both knew what she was talking about so there was no sense in prevarication, though this night was the first time James had heard Miss Chesterton voice anything openly, and this was the second time in the evening she had done so.

"I don't know why you are encouraging me, there is no point to it."

"You are both my friends. I only want your happiness."

"She is my friend. I mean to do everything in my power to support her. I am in no position to do anything else, even if I wished to."

"Am I not your friend? And yet you have no hesitation to dance with me." Ruth fixed him with her candid gaze.
"You are not in her position."

"No, I am not. And you want to protect her from any speculation. But there is talk about your intentions towards me. Do you not want to protect me from idle gossip?"

He looked at her ruefully. "I must apologise for that. I have denied it whenever asked."

"I do not doubt that."

"You must see that the situation is entirely different. You feel nothing for me other than friendship. I have no fears of inspiring other feelings in you. I know I do not." He looked down at his hands.

"And so that is what you fear."

"I fear so many things, but that is part of it. Her heart is young and fresh and I will do nothing to hurt it. I have nothing to offer her."

"One dance will not hurt her. And as a friend she will expect a dance. To do less is also hurtful," said Ruth gently.

"I have said more to you than I ever intended. I should say no more."

"I will keep your confidence, and I promise not to plague you again, dear friend."

James looked at Ruth warmly. Emily glanced over to where they sat and thought of how well they looked together and how intently they were conversing, and surprised herself at the little twinge of jealousy that ran through her. She had no cause to feel that way -- she need feel nothing but happiness for her two friends, wasn't a match between them really the best thing that could happen? Somehow this thought brought her no comfort at all.

After dinner and the dancing resumed, James took Ruth out onto the floor, their talk back to everyday things. Next he led out Miss Anastasia, the last of his duty dances. The following dance he would ask Miss Emily for her hand.

Lord Ralph brought Emily back to her chair after their post dinner dance and found Sophie standing alone beside the floor.

"How comes it that you are not dancing?" he asked her in surprise.

"I have had numerous invitations," said Sophie, "but I informed them that the next dance was bespoken."

"Then where the deuce is your partner? How dare he leave a sweet miss like you to kick her heels?"

"He has just arrived to claim his dance, my Lord," she said with a suggestive little titter.

Ralph looked around, and upon seeing nobody, finally understood the portent of Sophie's last comment. "Why, you delightful little baggage!" he said.

Sophie glanced over to Emily to see if she had heard, but she appeared to be deep in conversation with Lady Prescott. She returned her eyes to Lord Ralph and regarded him meltingly, "Well, are we not going to dance?"

"I think I would like to take a turn on the terrace," said Lord Ralph boldly.

"Just the thing!" said Sophie with a saucy smile. "It is indeed stifling in all this crush!" She placed her hand on his arm and allowed herself to be taken out onto the terrace with only a gentleman for company the second time that evening. The moon was just as full and bright, the stars were twinkling madly, and the gentleman was not only more handsome than the previous one, he was someone she had longed for since before she could remember. She had to be sure to play this right.

Lord Ralph came up close to her. "You look so dashed beautiful tonight, Sophie, that you don't know what it does to me."

She took a little step back, and rested against a column. "What does it do to you?" she asked with a giggle.

"It makes me lose my reason," he said frankly. "And this blasted moonlight is no help either. It just serves to make you more bewitching."

Maybe it was not as romantically put as Mr. Braithwaite's endearments, but Sophie was still quite pleased with his response. "And now that I have cast my spell upon you, how shall you serve me?"

Lord Ralph closed in upon her. "I will shower you with kisses!" And he reached out only to have Sophie slip from his grasp.

"Lord Ralph!" she admonished with affected shock. "You couldn't possibly." She gazed at him soulfully and allowed a tear to slip down one of her rosy cheeks.

"Will you not let me taste those sweet lips?" Lord Ralph stepped forward and grasped both her hands in entreaty.

"As long as you are promised to another, how can you ask it of me?" She loosed a few more tears.

Lord Ralph pulled out his handkerchief and dabbed at her cheeks, concern upon his face. "Do not tease me so, Sophie. You know it is not my wish to be married. Can you not give me one little kiss to show me that you care?"

"I could never act with such impropriety, or do anything that would hurt my dear friend," she said demurely as she allowed him to stroke her cheek in a most tender manner.

"Dash it all, I have no wish to hurt Emily either, but she need never know."

"But I would know," said Sophie hollowly. "Though I must own, I would dearly love for you to kiss me." She looked up at him through her wet lashes and smiled beguilingly.

"You are a heartless tease!" expostulated Lord Ralph as he leaned in to kiss her lips only to have her turn her head at the last moment. The kiss landed on her guinea gold curls.

"Lord Ralph, what the devil do you think you're doing?" asked Bertie as he strode over from the doorway.

"Your sister wanted some air," said Lord Ralph, taking two steps back.

"I'm feeling much better now," said Emily, casting a glowering look at her brother. "Thank you so much Lord Ralph, it was just what I needed."

"You'd best not have been importuning my sister!" said Bertie with a snarl.

"Don't be such a fool, Bertie," said Sophie and she flounced off with Lord Ralph following in her wake.

They re-entered the ballroom as the set ended and returned to where Emily still sat. Lord Ralph was in a quandary. He wanted to set things straight with Sophie, but he also thought he should dance with Emily. She looked so devilish pretty sitting there, with her hair arranged like that and that stylish gown. James Warrington approached at that moment, and asked Emily for the next dance, looking both at her and Lord Ralph for approval.

"You go ahead and dance with Warrington, Emily," said Lord Ralph. "I never did get a chance to dance the last with Sophie. Had to take her out on the terrace to get some air before she had a fainting spell."

Emily, who had already nodded her acquiescence to James before Lord Ralph had said this mouthful, looked over at Sophie with some concern and asked her if she was feeling better.

"Oh, she's right as a trivet now," said Ralph as Sophie simpered and tried to look languid, although her heart was still racing from the scene on the terrace. Lord Ralph was too preoccupied to notice the look on James's face as he led Emily onto the floor.

As soon as they were on the dance floor, Lord Ralph said quietly to Sophie, "Blast Bertie for interrupting us. You are not angry with me are you?"

Sophie glanced up at him sweetly, "Whatever for?" she asked with feigned innocence.

James manoeuvred Emily further down the floor so that they were not in the same figure as her fiancé.

"So that is the dress that you were being poked with pins over the other day," he said, a little smile playing about the corners of his mouth.

"Yes it is. As you can see, it was finished on time despite my obstinacy!"

"It becomes you very well." James had, in fact, been overwhelmed by her appearance when he first saw her that night. Unlike the previous time he had seen her in formal attire, she did not look artificially decorated. The colour of her gown warmed her complexion, and her hairstyle suited her in the most natural way imaginable. Her serene countenance seemed to have an inner glow. Her face had not changed, it was still oval shaped, with straight brows and a mouth that was too small for beauty, but her tender soul seemed to shine from her clear grey eyes making her face the loveliest thing he had ever beheld.

This small compliment pleased Emily more than any of the lavish ones that had been bestowed upon her that evening. She smiled back at him, blushing lightly. "Were you caught in the snow on your return?"

"I was, but I took great joy in watching the flakes as they drifted through the air. Sophocles and I walked the last mile, just enjoying the feel of the snow falling upon us. I'm afraid I arrived at the stable fully white and quite shocked the livery boys!"

"It started before I was home as well, and when I was safely in my own warm room, I sat in the window and watched as the world turned white."

The complex figures of the dance gave them little time for talk, but they both enjoyed the short opportunities they had to converse together. Too soon the dance ended and James escorted Emily back to her seat, where Bertie quickly claimed her for the last dance of the evening.

Lord Ralph gave Sophie up to Percy and looked about for Olivia only to see her already on the floor with Geoffrey Billingsworth. There was nothing for it but for him to stand up with Miss Cordelia, or not dance the last dance at all. Ralph's eyes followed Bertie as he minced up the floor with his fiancée. He thought that Farquar was being a trifle too conscientious in his attentions. He was laughing a little too much. Emily was smiling a little too often. The ire that Bertie had raised in him on the terrace began to resurface. The man was a philandering clod!

No sooner had the dance ended than he came up to Bertie and said, "Farquar, a word!" and dragged him off to a corner by the card room.

"What's got your dander up?" asked Bertie.

"You! Ogling my Emily like that!"

"What are you on about? Still cross hatched ‘cause I came in on you and Sophie?"

"You're wide on that mark!" cried Lord Ralph. "I won't be flummoxed by you shifting the subject. You were fair on your way to making up to my fiancée while you were dancing with her, and I don't like it one bit! You keep your eyes and your hands off her, do you hear? She belongs to me!"

"Then I suggest you keep your paws off my sister! She ain't your property."

"What's between me and Sophie is between me and Sophie. And there's nothing, mind you! But I don't want to see you giving Emily the eye again!"

"You are soft in the head! You've never minded me dancing with her before! What am I supposed to do, close my eyes when I see her?"

"Just bear what I've said in mind," said Lord Ralph and he stalked off to order his carriage.

James, who had been about to enter the card room to take his leave of Reverend Chesterton, had inadvertently overheard the whole exchange, and it gave him much food for thought. Lord Ralph did not give the appearance of somebody who would give up something he wanted too easily. And for all his ostensible disinterest in her, it seemed that he was intent on keeping Emily strictly to himself.

As James and his cousins rolled home through the white landscape to Wortham Lodge, the carriage was filled with the boisterous chatter of the brother and sister.

 

© 2002, 2003 Copyright held by the author.

 

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