Posted on 2017-07-09
This is an inspiration from another website's challenge for something way beyond canon, plus a minor influence from Provisioner (Arizona) red wine.
It was Easter at Rosings. Again. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam were delighted to be there. Again.
Anne appeared to be as usual and Lady Catherine was as insistent as ever that Anne and Darcy should marry.
Soon after their arrival and the introduction to the groveling parson, his superior wife, and the woman Darcy didn't realize despised him, they were summoned to Anne's sitting room.
"Although this will not take long, I have ensured that Mother will be dispensing useless advice for several hours. Cousins, she is a French spy."
Darcy and Fitzwilliam stared in shock.
"I will show you the evidence. I may be frail, but I'm not stupid. Once I realized what was happening, the servants have assisted me in ensuring that her communications with the French have been replaced with useless information."
Darcy continued to stare. The Colonel wasn't sure if he wanted to faint or murder his aunt.
"Uncle Fitzwilliam knows. We have allowed her to continue in order to expose others. This will soon come to an end, however. When this happens, I have arranged that she will not be publicly tried for treason but will instead go away, ahem, quietly yet permanently. Darcy, I would be grateful that when this happens you will assist me in finding a reputable steward who will assist me in righting this estate. Fitzwilliam, please arrange for some clandestine protection for me and Rosings for the next year."
Anne looked up. "No, you cannot run her through."
Colonel Fitzwilliam huffed and sat down.
Darcy finally found his voice. "Are you certain?"
"Very certain."
"Are you certain that the servants are trustworthy?"
"Yes."
Colonel Fitzwilliam interjected, "Why?"
Anne sighed. "Mother took a lover two years ago. No, you will not leave! Your retchings are false!"
Darcy and Fitzwilliam turned around, knowing she was right.
"Her lover is a peer in dire straits. He is working for the French but they were displeased with him, so he was ordered to find someone who could give him money and information."
"But how do you know this?" Fitzwilliam asked.
"Servants talk, Cousin."
"Where is he?"
"Visiting tomorrow."
Darcy stilled his even more murderous cousin.
"Is this planned?"
"Yes. This will end tomorrow. And Cousins, is there a way I can send that parson elsewhere?"
__________
The next day, the extraction of Lady Catherine and her lover from Rosings was a delight to the strategist in Colonel Fitzwilliam. However, his strategist self did not anticipate Anne compromising him on the front lawn of Rosings as the carriage pulled away leading Lady Catherine to her fate.
Nearby stood the inhabitants of the parsonage. Mr. Collins fainted, Charlotte was delighted, Maria was confused, and Miss Elizabeth was wondering if Mr. Darcy was to blame.
Soon after, Darcy and Elizabeth argued things out and declared a truce.
Bingley was reunited with Jane.
Colonel Fitzwilliam, still feeling rather upset, took up residence with Darcy at Netherfield and got his revenge while escorting the Bennet ladies on a visit to Meryton.
"Wickham, the most worthless man in all of England! In the militia, are you? A disgrace to the Crown!" His voice increased. "Tell me, how many of the shopkeepers are you indebted to, with no intention to pay? Let me guess! All of them! Do not run! I am your superior officer!"
Wickham needed a fresh pair of breeches. Soon after, he welcomed a permanent post in the Canadas.
Lydia and Kitty discarded the militia in favor of the regulars. Since Colonel Fitzwilliam was the only regular around, and he didn't stay for long, they soon realized this was a mistake. It was too late.
Fitzwilliam married Anne and she ran Rosings while he strategized for the Army. The Rosings servants continued to serve their country as they listened to gossip.
Remarkably, Mrs. Bennet and Mrs. Philips provided some of the best reports for the government after they realized that there could be spies in their midst.
The Collins' were the recipients of an estate in Somerset with an excellent steward, after Mr. Collins gave up the entail on Longbourn.
Bingley and Jane were extremely happy once they relocated from Netherfield.
Darcy and Elizabeth overcame their differences and married, to the relief of many.
As for Georgiana and the three youngest Bennet sisters, they got along famously.
It was Easter at Rosings. Again. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam were delighted to be there. Again.
Anne appeared to be as usual and Lady Catherine was as insistent as ever that Anne and Darcy should marry.
Soon after their arrival and the introduction to the groveling parson, his superior wife, and the woman Darcy didn't realize despised him, they were summoned to Anne's sitting room.
"Although this will not take long, I have ensured that Mother will be dispensing useless advice for several hours. Cousins, she is a French spy."
Darcy and Fitzwilliam stared in shock.
"I will show you the evidence. I may be frail, but I'm not stupid. Once I realized what was happening, the servants have assisted me in ensuring that her communications with the French have been replaced with useless information."
Darcy continued to stare. The Colonel wasn't sure if he wanted to faint or murder his aunt.
"Uncle Fitzwilliam knows. We have allowed her to continue in order to expose others. This will soon come to an end, however. When this happens, I have arranged that she will not be publicly tried for treason but will instead go away, ahem, quietly yet permanently. Darcy, I would be grateful that when this happens you will assist me in finding a reputable steward who will assist me in righting this estate. Fitzwilliam, please arrange for some clandestine protection for me and Rosings for the next year."
Anne looked up. "No, you cannot run her through."
Colonel Fitzwilliam huffed and sat down.
Darcy finally found his voice. "Are you certain?"
"Very certain."
"Are you certain that the servants are trustworthy?"
"Yes."
Colonel Fitzwilliam interjected, "Why?"
Anne sighed. "Mother took a lover two years ago. No, you will not leave! Your retchings are false!"
Darcy and Fitzwilliam turned around, knowing she was right.
"Her lover is a peer in dire straits. He is working for the French but they were displeased with him, so he was ordered to find someone who could give him money and information."
"But how do you know this?" Fitzwilliam asked.
"Servants talk, Cousin."
"Where is he?"
"Visiting tomorrow."
Darcy stilled his even more murderous cousin.
"Is this planned?"
"Yes. This will end tomorrow. And Cousins, is there a way I can send that parson elsewhere?"
__________
The next day, the extraction of Lady Catherine and her lover from Rosings was a delight to the strategist in Colonel Fitzwilliam. However, his strategist self did not anticipate Anne compromising him on the front lawn of Rosings as the carriage pulled away leading Lady Catherine to her fate.
Nearby stood the inhabitants of the parsonage. Mr. Collins fainted, Charlotte was delighted, Maria was confused, and Miss Elizabeth was wondering if Mr. Darcy was to blame.
Soon after, Darcy and Elizabeth argued things out and declared a truce.
Bingley was reunited with Jane.
Colonel Fitzwilliam, still feeling rather upset, took up residence with Darcy at Netherfield and got his revenge while escorting the Bennet ladies on a visit to Meryton.
"Wickham, the most worthless man in all of England! In the militia, are you? A disgrace to the Crown!" His voice increased. "Tell me, how many of the shopkeepers are you indebted to, with no intention to pay? Let me guess! All of them! Do not run! I am your superior officer!"
Wickham needed a fresh pair of breeches. Soon after, he welcomed a permanent post in the Canadas.
Lydia and Kitty discarded the militia in favor of the regulars. Since Colonel Fitzwilliam was the only regular around, and he didn't stay for long, they soon realized this was a mistake. It was too late.
Fitzwilliam married Anne and she ran Rosings while he strategized for the Army. The Rosings servants continued to serve their country as they listened to gossip.
Remarkably, Mrs. Bennet and Mrs. Philips provided some of the best reports for the government after they realized that there could be spies in their midst.
The Collins' were the recipients of an estate in Somerset with an excellent steward, after Mr. Collins gave up the entail on Longbourn.
Bingley and Jane were extremely happy once they relocated from Netherfield.
Darcy and Elizabeth overcame their differences and married, to the relief of many.
As for Georgiana and the three youngest Bennet sisters, they got along famously.