Prologue:

Upon his return to Netherfield, Charles Bingley immediately asks for Jane Bennet’s hand, but Darcy, distressed at Elizabeth’s reticent and anxious manner towards him, concludes that any tender feelings she may have had for him in Derbyshire have now been lost. Despite his success at finding Wickham and bringing the marriage about, Darcy believes that Elizabeth blames him for all the pain her family has suffered and cannot forgive him. He returns to London broken-hearted.

Lady Catherine makes her infamous journey to Longbourn to warn Elizabeth off, but thinks better of reporting it to Darcy. She has confidence in her powers of persuasion, despite the impudent girl’s refusal to promise to stay away of her nephew! Lady Catherine is convinced that Miss Bennet will not dare to continue her relationship with Darcy, but is nevertheless on her guard for any news regarding their liaison. Some ten months have now passed and her Ladyship’s mind rests easy.

Chapter 1

The first two hours of the journey were spent in awkward silence. Every now and then, Colonel Fitzwilliam would look up from his newspaper and murmur something to Darcy, who, thoroughly engrossed in his book, would glance up momentarily and nod. The ladies, equally ill at ease, cast furtive glances at one another and at times, at the gentlemen—always averting their eyes, however, before being discovered.

Georgiana was now painfully aware that for once, she was not the most timid person in the party, and that if she did not take the initiative to speak, not a word would pass between herself and Anne before they reached Scotland. They were cousins, though hardly friends, for they had never had the opportunity to really get to know each another. For one thing, Anne was quite a bit older. But Georgiana knew that that had little to do with the emotional distance between them.

For many years, Aunt Catherine had extended invitations for her to visit Rosings, but Fitzwilliam had always been reluctant to let her go. Then, when she was fourteen, under great pressure from Lady Matlock, he had grudgingly relented, only to have his cautious instincts proved right. The visit turned out to be a disaster—an embarrassment for Anne, and an unhappy experience for Georgiana. Lady Catherine’s constant criticism was difficult enough for Georgiana to bear, but when she spoke disapprovingly of the way Fitzwilliam was raising her, the poor girl shut down completely. Even when the young cousins were ostensibly on their own, Mrs. Jenkinson’s austere presence prevented them from really talking to one another. Finally, after many tearful letters home, her dear brother managed to invent an excuse to rescue her, and poor Anne, too mortified to face the friend she so desperately needed, hid in her room, allowing Georgiana to leave without so much as a good-bye. The memory of that visit did little to make the present situation easier. But riding on in silence was becoming more and more painful.

Indeed, it was awkward for them all. Darcy could not help but wonder at his cousin’s sudden ability to withstand such a long and tiring journey. Anne had always been pronounced too frail to travel. Did Aunt Catherine see this family holiday as the perfect opportunity to push for the culmination of the dream she claimed was so ardently shared by his own mother? Was he now to be pressed into honouring that long-standing, fictitious engagement? He felt a choking knot form in the back of his throat and he swallowed hard before glancing up at Anne. She sat, her small frame held rigidly erect, her slender fingers interlaced on her lap, her eyes fixed on the passing scenery. Who was this slight, sad, and mysterious woman? He spent several weeks in the same house with her each year, and yet he did not know her at all. She never spoke, never smiled at him, never took the pains to establish any kind of relationship between them. He had no idea what her views were on any subject, and if he were brutally honest with himself, he would have to admit that he had never cared to know.

There was a small corner of his heart that felt guilty about the way he had treated Anne, or rather mistreated her. He had thought no more about her than he would a stick of furniture at Rosings. He had neglected her completely—always with the justification that he was too busy with his aunt’s affairs to have time for anything else while there. Perhaps he had been afraid to show any interest in Anne lest her Ladyship misconstrue their friendship for affection. No, he had never dared get close enough to make her out. But when he did allow himself to think of her, the unimaginable dullness of her existence and the lonely isolation she must surely be enduring moved him.

Originally, Darcy had hoped that a month in Scotland, in the bosom of his family, would help him put Elizabeth behind him. Perhaps the distance and the soothing green of the countryside might diminish the pain and emptiness that continued to torture him. At any rate, he had been looking forward to spending a few carefree weeks away from his day-to-day responsibilities. And he would have ample time to spend with Georgiana and Richard, the two people he cared for most in the world…that is, of course, if he discounted Elizabeth. But how was such a thing to be done? How did one discount Elizabeth! Well, it was useless to dwell on it. He would have to find a way to bear the gnawing ache that had become part of his daily existence.

As for Colonel Fitzwilliam, he was very pleased to have been granted leave for this luxurious holiday. Normally, all the fine wine and creature comforts in the world could not entice him to spend a month with his parents—impossible to please, they lectured and chastised him at every opportunity. It seemed no matter what his accomplishments, he was never doing enough to distinguish himself in their eyes. His brother Alex, the first-born, was not required to prove himself in any way. He was by right and his eventual inheritance already worthy. Yet he, Richard Fitzwilliam, had to turn himself inside out to make his father proud. He was truly sick of it! And his mother’s constant urging to find a proper wife was becoming intolerable, as well! Was she truly blind to the fact that the “proper” young ladies of their society were not interested in a lowly second son, no matter how dashing he looked in his red coat!

Yet on this occasion, the Colonel believed his parents would behave themselves—at least he would be safe in the company of his cousins! The trick would be to spend as little time alone with his parents as possible. Of course he would be summoned now and again and could not refuse to see them, but he nevertheless had high hopes for a relatively peaceful holiday. His father would, no doubt, be in good spirits! After all, he was beginning his seventieth year in fairly good health, his wealth and honor secure and his loved ones by his side. Few men could boast such good fortune.

Anne’s thoughts were painfully different from those of her quiet companions. She kept her face turned towards the window, blinking back the tears that threatened to pour forth. Her eyes stung and watered, but she was determined to regain control of her emotions. She had fought so hard to be allowed on this journey, had been forced to make such ridiculous concessions in order to be permitted to go, and now all her hopes of being accepted and actually included by this most beloved little group were fading fast. She was determined not to let them see her cry; she would not have them pity her any more than they already did! Having spent the last fifteen years of her life perfecting the art of dissembling, she had learned to keep her countenance serene and unreadable while her mother said the most outrageous things! Where were these well-honed skills now when she needed them so desperately? She would have to make them laugh; she would have to shock them into liking and accepting her.

Having summoned up her courage, she calmed herself and finally turned to them with practiced composure.

“Forgive me, my dear cousins, but this will never do!” she said, her eyes twinkling mischievously as a playful smile brightened her face.

All three turned to stare at her in astonishment.

“Having earned a temporary release from the tower of Rosings, I’ve been so eager to join you in your usual, playful banter, only to find that you are all trying to do a rather poor imitation of me! Please assure me that you are not reticent because you think me a younger version of my mother. Surely I do not deserve that!”

For the longest time they simply stared. It was impossible to take in all that her words implied.

Anne bit her lower lip. She felt at once both giddy and terrified. A nervous giggle escaped her throat as her eyes darted anxiously from one face to another. Not daring to breathe, she waited, her fate suspended in the close air of the carriage. It was Richard who found his voice first and shattered the barrier that had grown between them with his hearty, welcoming laugh. Within seconds, she found herself surrounded by familial affection, with Richard crossing over to seat himself beside her and Georgiana drawing closer and taking her hand. They hastily reassured her that they knew she was nothing like her mother, and that they were thrilled to finally have the chance to really get to know her!

Only Darcy sat thunderstruck. His mind raced. Was this animated young woman truly his cousin Anne? Did this lively spirit belong to the woman who always seemed so withered; the one who habitually sat silent and seemingly unaffected by all that went on around her? He would not have believed it possible! Good G-d, how her face softened when she smiled! Her heightened color brightened her normally sallow complexion and she looked almost…pretty. He felt a pang of guilt strike his heart and was, at that moment, especially glad that Elizabeth was not present to witness this transformation. He knew only too well what she would have to say about all this. His conceit and selfishness had prevented him from seeing his cousin as she truly was. All this anguish had been lying just below the surface, but he had been too arrogant and self-involved to notice.

While the Colonel and Georgiana laughed and joked, trying, so it seemed, to make up for lost time, Darcy withdrew into self-recrimination. All those years of loneliness and isolation! He might have had some influence on her life had he only bothered to notice her. “Your pride, your arrogance, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others!” He swallowed hard and struggled to defend his damaged ego. There was no denying his cruel neglect of Anne, but a sudden rush of childish resentment made him wonder if she was not partly responsible for her secluded existence. Why had she kept herself hidden behind a mask of dullness for all these years? Why had she never reached out to them in any way? Was this new found strength a recent development, or had it been there all along? Had he truly been that blind?

There was so much he wanted to know and even more that he needed to say, but all he managed to stammer out was, “My dear Anne, forgive me.”

Anne’s countenance turned somber as she leaned forward to take both his hands in hers. It was as if she could read his mind.

“Oh, no! You mustn’t feel responsible in any way, my dearest cousin! It was I who cast us in the roles I believed we all should play. You are not at all to blame, Fitzwilliam!”

He shook his head in obvious disagreement, trying to find the appropriate words to express his remorse at having failed her so miserably. But as he struggled, Anne hastily continued. “Nothing short of kidnapping me and hiding me away forever would have changed anything, Fitzwilliam! You know my mother too well! I could not soften her, though I desperately tried for most of my adolescence. Eventually I discovered that the best way for me to retain my sanity was to live a secret life, completely separate from hers. Obviously, I could not do that physically, but I could do it emotionally.”

“I have lived in what must seem like terrible isolation to you, I am sure, but I did so to save myself. I found Mama’s constant disapproval very painful, and knew I had to do something to protect myself from her oppressively overbearing nature. So I decided to distance myself from her as best I could. I determined to be agreeable, never to challenge her views or commands, …but neither did I ever divulge my true feelings or allow her a glimpse into my heart…And as dreadful as that may sound to you, dear cousins,” she said, now turning from one to the other, for she was fully aware of how shocked they all were by her declaration, “this scheme has allowed me to remain true to myself, while continuing to live at Rosings. After all, it is the only home I know.”

“But Anne!” cried Georgiana, “how does one live without someone to talk to? How have you been able to keep yourself from despair and madness? Oh, do forgive me for saying that,” she stammered, astonished by her brazen and embarrassing behavior.

Anne only chuckled and kissed her cousin’s cheek. “There is nothing to forgive, Georgiana. Your passionate concern only shows your affection for me. But let me to put your mind at ease immediately. I have not lived in a world completely devoid of companionship and amusement. In fact, I have made two of the very best friends a person could have. And although we have never actually met, I feel as close to them as I believe any friends could be!”

“I don’t understand,” murmured Darcy. “You have never met?”

“The wife of Mr. Collins’ predecessor was an exceptionally kind and perceptive woman. She and I became fast friends despite the difference in our ages, and thankfully, Mama permitted me a weekly visit to the parsonage. She was a matchmaker of sorts—but not the matrimonial kind. She had formed a little network of clergymen’s wives who tried to bring together people who truly needed each other. These were ladies like myself, who for one reason or another could not get out in the world to make those connections for themselves. My dear friend Emily is homebound due to childhood paralysis, and since she and her mother live on their own, there is no one to even carry her out of doors. She sits by the window and reads and writes for most of the day. The vicar’s wife brings her books and supplies her with paper, as do I, for I always send her an empty sheet or two each time I write. We have the most wonderful discussions about the books we have both read, and the way we feel about things, and oh, ever so many other things. She is terribly poor while I have been blessed with so much, yet we view the world in the same way and get such pleasure from each other’s letters. She has become a most precious friend, and I could not imagine my life without her. We write to each other once or twice a week, supporting each other in every way we can.”

“And her Ladyship allows this correspondence?” asked the Colonel incredulously.

“Well…Mama does not know the whole of Emily’s situation. She believes her to be a gentleman’s daughter, in ill health like myself. And as Mrs. Prescott initiated the correspondence, Mama has never questioned it or felt the need to look into the background of either of my friends. But even if she were to discover it, I would find a way to continue the correspondence through Mrs. Collins. She, too, has joined our little conspiracy, and in her, I have found another fine friend. So you see, dear cousins, I have made a kind of life for myself. It may be a small life, and a limited one, but it sustains me. And then,” continued Anne with an impish grin that truly lit up her face, “ every Easter I look forward to the yearly visit of my two most entertaining cousins!”

This was not said in jest or in sarcasm, as one might suspect, but Darcy’s heart sank nevertheless, as he steeled himself to hear Anne’s interpretation of their entertaining behavior. Simply the mention of Charlotte Collins’s name brought him further unease. Why was everything in his life so bound up with Elizabeth? Georgiana still mourned the loss of her, while Bingley’s letters constantly reminded him how happy a man could be with a country girl from Hertfordshire. No wonder he couldn’t cast her from his mind for even an hour!

“When one is not even expected to participate in the conversation,” continued Anne, “one has the leisure to observe others very closely. And I must confess that I have become a keen observer of human nature. I have studied the two of you with great interest and amusement, my dear cousins. Colonel, your open, artless manner and playful irreverence are infectious, and there have been countless times that you have sorely tested my ability to keep my composure. What great fun it is to watch you skirt my mother’s questions at dinner, skillfully change the subject and then tell an amusing anecdote to flatter and bewilder her. I must say it is always masterfully done. Especially when you are forever looking for an opportunity to best Fitzwilliam!

Everyone chuckled.

“And you, my most serious and dutiful cousin, your thoughts and gestures are, at times, quite a challenge to decipher, but all the more rewarding when I do. You give nothing away! But I have come to know so well the clenching of your jaw, that almost imperceptible rolling of your eyes, and those little trips to the window that signal the limit of your patience with her Ladyship’s pronouncements.”

Darcy’s eyes widened at the thought of his mannerisms and gestures being studied by the young cousin he had never taken the trouble to know. His discomfort was palpable.

“Oh, do not look so stricken, Cousin! I have not been able figure out everything you are thinking and feeling! For instance, I never quite made out what happened between you and Richard and your rivalry over Miss Bennet! I suppose neither one of you made a very good impression on the young lady, or she would be traveling with us today. It’s too bad, too, for I really liked her. It would have been such fun to have her as a member of our family—if only to aggravate Mama.”

Anne’s teasing smile dissolved as she looked from Georgiana’s stricken face to that of Fitzwilliam’s. She had obviously gone too far, and remorse for her cheekiness quickly followed. “Oh, I am so sorry!” she said in great distress. “I didn’t know it was…well, I mean…Forgive me, Fitzwilliam; I am not used to speaking so freely and got completely carried away. How rude of me! I’m sorry!! I wasn’t thinking! Forgive me!” she repeated.

Darcy placed his hand on top of Anne’s, and shaking his head, murmured, “It’s all right, Anne. I did make a fool of myself that Easter, but it is all over now.” He lowered his head, pursed his lips and looked towards the window.

Silence reigned once more.

Eventually, Colonel Fitzwilliam, in an effort to regain the carefree mood that had been lost, naively quipped about Miss Bennet’s being far to good for the likes of either of them, but this, of course, did nothing to minimize the unease that had taken over the interior of the carriage. They rode for some fifteen minutes or more, lost in their own thoughts until the driver slowed and called out that they would be stopping to change horses and get a bite to eat. This bit of news prompted Anne to bravely face her somber relations with an urgent request.

“Please, my dear cousins, I beg you not say anything of what has passed between us just yet. I think it would be best if my mother believed that we had become fond of one another over the course of the holiday… that is, if you will still think me worthy of your friendship after that last insensitive remark.”

“No, no, Anne, it is I who should be asking forgiveness of you,” said Darcy. “It was just a touch of melancholy that has now passed, and I shall not allow such thoughts to spoil our precious time together. And of course, you have our word that we shall follow your lead when in her Ladyship’s company!”

“Thank you, Fitzwilliam, for revealing our friendship is of particular concern to me. I have been especially vigilant to distance myself from you so that Mama would never have a reason to be encouraged. I’ve always insisted that you and I were not well suited for one another and that she was perpetuating an idea that had no chance of succeeding… but to no avail. Any hint of our caring for one another, even in the most innocent way, would give her cause to pressure you. I do not wish to make things any more difficult or uncomfortable for you than they already are, Cousin. So we must be very careful, you and I.”

Again, Darcy was confounded by this woman who was his cousin Anne. It was now clear that she had sought for all these years to protect him from Lady Catherine, and at great cost to her personal happiness. He could not wrap his mind around all that he was learning about her, moment to moment. He simply nodded and smiled sheepishly, for now, totally lost in thoughts of his own.

****

Their first meal together was pleasant enough and rather uneventful until the dessert was brought round. Everyone was enjoying the lemon curd when Georgiana discreetly leaned towards Anne, whispered a few words and tried, though unsuccessfully, to suppress a giggle. Anne glanced up at the gentleman sitting opposite her and drew her napkin over her mouth to hide her amusement. With lips tightly pressed together, they colored, eyed each other and tittered once more.

“Really, Georgiana!” said Lady Catherine, “There are to be no secrets at this table! I must have my share in your little diversion. Come, come, let us hear what is amusing you so.”

Georgiana, now crimson with embarrassment, lowered her head and murmured, “It is really nothing Aunt. I’m sure it would be of no interest to anyone else.”

“I’ll be the judge of that, if you please,” was her Ladyship’s stern reply.

“Mama, please,” whispered Anne. “It was really nothing.”

“I am waiting, Georgiana,” said her Ladyship, impatiently. “It is only good manners to include everyone at the table when relating an amusing story.”

Darcy was about to step in to stop this ridiculous bit of high-handed foolishness, when Georgiana, laughing once more, looked up at her cousin and said, “Forgive me, Richard, but I was just pointing out to Anne how adorable you look with a lemon curd mustache. It really suits you.”

Colonel Fitzwilliam colored slightly, then drew his tongue slowly and dramatically over his upper lip, causing all the young people at the table to laugh. Georgiana gave him the most affectionate smile when he finally said, “I can always count on my Georgie to interpret my lack of social grace as an endearing quality. Thank you, my pet! If only there were more ladies with your generous nature, I might have found a wife by now. He lifted his glass as if to offer a toast and winked teasingly at his mother.” The entire table burst out laughing, leaving Lady Catherine to feel the sting of having been somehow, subtly bested by her shy, young niece.

The little drama was now over for everyone but Anne, whose furrowed brow and anxiously pursed lips clearly showed her humiliation. It was an expression Darcy had seen more than once on Elizabeth’s sweet face—once in Bingley’s drawing room, when her mother and sisters had come to visit during Jane’s illness and then again at the ball, when her father had so ungraciously humiliated Mary into leaving the piano. Clearly, Elizabeth was not alone in her frustration over the behavior of her relations. Though, clearer still, was the fact that Anne’s wealth protected her from idiots like himself who would hold such behavior against her and see it as an obstacle to marriage!

***

Over the course of the journey, the cousins grew closer and closer. All barriers were broken down, and it was now difficult for any of them to believe that there had once been a time when they did not know and understand each other so well. Darcy, to his great surprise, came to genuinely admire Anne. He found her conversation stimulating and intelligent, was continually amazed at her wonderful sense of humor and appreciated her thoughtful and quiet ways. It was now as comfortable to ride in silence, as it was to chat. They seemed to be able to sense what the other needed.

By the time they reached the great stone Inn at Loc Braemar, Darcy was turning over the most startling thoughts in his mind. Perhaps marrying Anne would not be such a terrible thing after all. Perhaps it would be the natural solution to both their problems. By offering to Anne, he would be securing her freedom from Rosings. She could lead a totally different life at Pemberley and could participate in some of the joys of London when her health permitted it. But most importantly she would be in the company of people who respected and admired her. It would take time, but she would certainly make new friends and acquaintances, so that, even when Georgiana no longer lived with them, Anne would have a contented life.

Was he being his old, high-handed and presumptuous self for thinking this way? Or was he right to assume that Anne’s chances for a happy marriage, given her restrictions, were slim. It was possible, was it not, that without his interference Anne would be doomed to a bitter life of spinsterhood in the sole company of Lady Catherine?

He was sure that he could grow fond of her, and it was gratifying to know that nothing more than thoughtful affection would be required between them. He could not imagine transferring the passion he felt for Elizabeth to any other woman, and if he could not have her in his bed, he preferred to sleep alone. Would that not be a more dignified arrangement than having to do one’s duty by a wife one did not love? Surely, Anne would not resent his occasionally satisfying his needs away from home, as long as he was meticulously discreet. But then he always was. He would never humiliate her, and in return, she would give him the freedom to be out in society, without the torment of scheming mothers and fawning young women. Her freedom would be his as well. Such a marriage might be a blessing for both of them.

Well, there was no need to make a hasty decision. He had an entire month to get to know Anne better, and he resolved to think seriously about the pleasures and pitfalls of such an arrangement. The only thing that rankled was the thought of his aunt’s smug satisfaction with the match. He would have to suffer her gloating for the rest of his life!

Chapter 2

Elizabeth gingerly lowered herself onto the tree stump to adjust the baby sling she had fashioned out of an old bit of bed linen. She lifted the baby out, kissed his brow and cradled him up against her shoulder.

“Jonathan Bennington, however did you manage to get yourself so twisted up in this sling?” she inquired of him. “You’ve pulled me completely off balance and I can’t hold onto you this way!”

Jonathan answered by blowing more bubbles and gurgling happily—an activity that always drew more smiles and kisses from this wonderful creature who cared for him.

“Now if you don’t stop kicking those chubby little legs of yours, I shall have to leave you at home the next time I go rambling!” she mockingly chided as she nuzzled his tummy, causing him to squeal with delight.

“I suppose you know an idle threat when you hear it, eh, my little man?” she said, joining him in his merriment. She had been taking him on her early morning walks ever since the weather had improved, and it was difficult to know which one of them enjoyed the outings more. Like clockwork, Jonathan would awaken at six, hungry, wet, and eager to start the day. Elizabeth would then change him, give him his breakfast and set him back in his crib with some playthings so that she could ready herself. The two of them would then set out together, deep into their first serious conversation of the day. It was a routine they both cherished, and one they would both miss when she returned home to Hertfordshire.

She had been Jonathan’s nanny for close to eight months now, she realized, and for all her urging, Sir Robert had not found a replacement for her. But then, it seemed as if that was precisely what Sir Robert wanted—his scheme being to keep her at Braemar as long as possible. As far as Elizabeth knew, he had not interviewed anyone for the position, and she sometimes doubted that he had ever put those advertisements in the London papers. Had she taken this responsibility on under normal circumstances, she could have simply given notice and left at the prescribed time. But the circumstances had by no means been normal and her attachment to the baby was such that she would never leave him until someone suitable was found. Besides, she had her Aunt Gardiner to consider.

***

Jane’s wedding day, which should have been one of the happiest of Elizabeth’s life, had been a torment. Darcy’s return to Hertfordshire to stand up with his friend became a test of endurance for her. To her mortification, he seemed to have smiles and pleasant words for everyone but herself! Upon his arrival, he had greeted her formally, barely looking up at her as he offered his congratulations. Then, bowing deeper still, he turned and walked away before she could return the civility. And as they stood facing one another at the altar while the vows were being read, he had kept his eyes fixed on the vicar, never once glancing up at her. What had she done to deserve such treatment after all they had shared at Pemberley?

Elizabeth could still not fully comprehend what had driven him from Hertfordshire after delivering Mr. Bingley back to Jane. He had seemed solemn and nervous throughout that visit, only casting furtive glances in her direction, but never attempting to speak to her directly. Of course, Mama had behaved abominably—gushing over Mr. Bingley while barely acknowledging him. But surely he was accustomed to that. Or perhaps it was the indignity of being criticized for the wording of the Lydia's marriage announcement? But neither did that make any sense, for Mama knew nothing of his involvement in the whole shameful affair.

No, the only thing that made any sense was the painful truth that, thanks to Lydia, she and her family were now even more objectionable than before. And surely, Lady Catherine must have made her feelings known. No doubt, he had received a stern lecture on the degradation such a match would bring upon the entire family. She had often imagined that ugly scene and acknowledged that it would now be insupportable for him to associate with her. But to treat her so coldly, so cruelly? She would not have believed it of him. Yet the love that she felt for him did not waver; neither could she remain angry with him for long. He was only being sensible, doing what was best for Georgiana and the rest of his family.

Having made his excuses, Darcy had left the wedding breakfast early, and Elizabeth was convinced that he had hastened away on her account. Emotionally spent and exhausted, it was all she could do to smile, as guest after guest now teased her about being the next Bennet sister to marry. Finally, when the newlyweds were off and most of the guests had departed, she begged to be excused, claiming a violent headache and escaped to the solitude of her room. There, she slipped out of her beautiful new gown and into her bed to weep silently into the bedclothes.

She had not heard the quiet knock on her door or the footsteps that followed, so she startled as her aunt suddenly seated herself beside her and smoothed her damp curls from her face.

“Elizabeth, my dearest. What a difficult day this must have been for you!”

Elizabeth raised herself onto her elbows, and wiping away tears with the back of her hand, tried to smile. “I miss Jane already, Aunt, “ she offered. “I didn’t realize how alone I would feel once she was gone.”

“She will be home again in a month, and you will, no doubt, find Netherfield a wonderful refuge.”

“Indeed, I will in time, Aunt, but for now, I wish to leave the newlyweds to themselves. I know a couple requires privacy so early in their marriage, and it will be a test of my fortitude to limit my visits.”

With a great sigh, Elizabeth sank back down onto the bed. She squeezed her aunt’s hand reassuringly, hoping to make her believe that the loss of her sister was the only thing troubling her. She failed miserably.

“I can well imagine how difficult it was for you to see Mr. Darcy again, Lizzy. I am so very sorry for the way things have turned out there.”

Elizabeth turned her face to the wall and bit down on her lower lip. What was there to say?

“It is no consolation to you, I know, but your uncle and I are convinced that he loves you, Elizabeth. I suppose his family responsibilities have made it impossible to…”

“Yes, Aunt, I know it would now be impossible for him to associate with our family,” interrupted Elizabeth. She needed to change the subject, or she would break down and cry.

“Well, your uncle and I have come up with a scheme to distract you for a while, my dear,” replied Mrs. Gardiner. “As you know, since our tour of the lakes was cut short we have not had the opportunity to take another holiday. But now your uncle informs me that business has slowed and that he would like to take several weeks, perhaps a month, to get away and rest. Will you come with us, Lizzy? We would so much enjoy your company!”

“A holiday! Do you mean it? Oh, Aunt, I would give anything to get away from Longbourn just now. You are both so very good to me and I love you both so much!”

She sat up and threw her arms around her aunt’s neck, hugging her tightly with both appreciation and relief. Then, just as suddenly, she drew back and asked, “You do not intend to return to Lambton and the lakes, do you?”

“Of course not, Lizzy. We know the associations there are far too painful! And besides, we have come up with an even more adventurous destination. We will make a journey to Scotland. It is a long trip, to be sure, but I understand that the beauty of the countryside is a restorative to the mind, as well as the body. Your uncle has always wanted to travel there, and now I have an excellent reason to go, as well. My cousin Robert Bennington has just become a father, and I am very anxious to see him and the baby! Robert is a very distant cousin, related only through marriage, but his mother and mine were the best of friends. As they lived just twelve or thirteen miles from Lambton, we saw each other rather often. Robert was my only male cousin to ever pay me any mind, so he naturally won a substantial place in my heart,” she laughed.

Elizabeth embraced her once more. “Oh, Aunt! This is just what I need: A change of scene, new people to meet and your affectionate companionship!”


****

They began the journey with everyone in good spirits. Elizabeth managed to cast off her melancholy at times, and when she could not, she did her best to dissemble. There was lively conversation and much talk of what they might expect at their various destinations. Sir Robert’s home was their first stop, and Elizabeth had endless questions about the family, Sir Robert’s temperament, and her aunt’s childhood memories of him.

“But will not three people descending on the family at such a time be a burden to them, Aunt?” asked Elizabeth when they were some ten miles from Braemar Castle. “As new parents, they will have much to contend with.”

“Oh, we will not be residing in their home, Lizzy. I should have explained that earlier. Sir Robert and his family now live in what used to be a guesthouse on his father-in-law’s estate. Mrs. Bennington’s childhood home is very large indeed, I understand, and when all her brothers and sisters had married and moved away, it no longer suited her father to live there. I suppose it must have seemed rather empty and lonely. As Braemar Castle is situated in such an isolated little hamlet, Fiona’s eldest brother, and heir to the estate, did not wish to make it his primary residence and decided to convert it into an inn. He now draws his income from it ,but continues to spend the summer months there. One wing of the castle was left for the family’s convenience, and that is where we have been invited to stay. It is less than a quarter mile from Sir Robert’s, I am told, and a very easy walk through adjoining garden paths. All this, I know only from Robert’s letters, of course.”

“Then we shall be very comfortable indeed,” replied Elizabeth, now looking forward to the visit more than ever. The thought of living with a family that she did not actually know had made her uneasy.


***

They arrived with the highest expectation of spending a few pleasurable days with the family, only to be suddenly thrown into the turmoil and grief that now beset them. Fiona Bennington had suffered through a long and difficult birth, never regaining her strength and tragically succumbing to the complications of her travail. They had buried her five days earlier.

Sir Robert was in a frenzied state as his son howled for his mother’s milk and the sustenance he so desperately needed. He was a good-sized infant with a healthy appetite and the wet nurse that had been hired to feed him did not have enough milk to satisfy his needs. Her own infant son got much of her milk, and Jonathan was always left hungry. Yet there was no one else to be had in this lonely part of the country. Goat’s milk, cow’s milk, concoctions of all sorts were being painstakingly spooned into the infant’s mouth to try and subdue his hunger, but his immature digestive system could not tolerate them, often causing him much pain. The poor little creature could not be comforted and his father, desperate to the point of madness, was losing his ability to function.

Seeing that her cousin was unable to act, Mrs. Gardiner immediately proposed to travel to the next town, and if need be, the one after that, to find another wet nurse. Perhaps even two ladies ought be engaged to assure the child’s survival. She and Mr. Gardiner left immediately in the company of a trusted servant who knew the countryside and its roads, while Elizabeth was left in the awkward position of making herself useful to both father and son.

Not knowing what to do first, she instinctively picked up the wailing infant and began to pace the floor with him. His pathetic cries were unrelenting despite her rocking and soothing, and she was soon weeping in frustration herself. How could Aunt Gardiner have left her in a situation like this? What did she know about babies? What could she possibly do to calm him?

She began to sing the melodies she remembered from her childhood, as she lovingly massaged his little tummy. He continued to cry, but with somewhat less intensity. Mesmerized by her voice and smiling face, the vigor and volume of his wails subsided to intermittent sobs and whimpers. Elizabeth rocked and sang and affectionately nuzzled his face as he stared into hers, his large brown pupils darting from her mouth to her sparkling eyes.

Sir Robert, anxious to see by what miracle his son was being pacified, came rushing up to see them, but Elizabeth waved him away lest he break the spell. For the next few hours she walked and sang until the wet nurse finally returned to feed him once more. Elizabeth continued to sing as he suckled, hoping that the milk and the music would finally lull him to sleep. And sleep he did, for seven full hours, by which time, the wet nurse returned again.

For the next three days, Elizabeth cared for the babe with the help of the household servants and Sir Robert, who having had his first few hours of uninterrupted sleep, proved to be a very nurturing and capable father. Jonathan was always hungry and continued to cry a great deal, but the sense of desperation was now gone from his voice, and the little army of people that cared for him were often able to distract him until his next meager meal. But it was Elizabeth who was most successful in soothing him when he was at his crankiest, and Sir Robert came to genuinely depend on her.

“Heaven has sent you as a blessing, Elizabeth. I don’t think Jonathan or I would have survived without you!” he declared, as they shared a simple meal while the baby slept. Elizabeth recognized that these were the words of a desperate and grateful man, worn down by fatigue, grief and fear. Yet she was moved by his generous acknowledgement of her efforts. Later that afternoon, her aunt and uncle returned with a young mother and her baby girl. She was no more than a girl herself, perhaps sixteen or seventeen years old. She carried one very small satchel, with all the possessions she had in the world, and it was not difficult to guess her situation. She was unwed and alone, and she saw this position in a fine house as a Godsend.

“Well,” said Sir Robert, after the introductions were made, “I believe the first order of business is for you to have a nice hot bath.” He tried to hide his repulsion at the state of her clothes and her person. Was this street urchin truly the best woman they could find to nurture his child?

“Indeed, you are correct, Sir Robert” said Mrs. Gardiner, smiling, “but only after we get Betsy a warm glass of milk and a bite to eat.” She winked at her cousin as she led the grateful girl towards the kitchen and into the capable hands of Mrs. McKane, the cook.

“She has had a very difficult time of it since her parents cast her out,” said Aunt Gardiner upon her return, “but I believe that she is healthy and willing, and for now, that is all that matters. Besides, we could find no other woman who could quit her family to reside here.”

“Thank you for finding her, Madeline,” said Sir Robert, opening his arms to her for the first time. “I don’t mean to appear ungrateful. I could not have done it on my own, and your coming here at this time has saved us.”

It was only then that the cousins had a chance to embrace and to talk of all that had transpired. While the Gardiners and Sir Robert talked in quiet tones by the fire, Elizabeth took it upon herself to see to the needs of the new wet nurse and to smooth the way for Jonathan’s first feeding. And as days went by, everyone seemed to relinquish his or her responsibilities concerning Jonathan to her. The servants no longer went to Sir Robert with their questions pertaining to the baby, and it was left to Elizabeth to schedule his feedings with both nurses, to change and swaddle him, and sing him to sleep. She didn’t quite understand how it had all turned out that way, but with each passing day she became more and more entrenched in her role, with no tactful way of begging out of it.

Two weeks passed in this way, and while the ladies were overburdened with their tasks, it was becoming increasingly clear that Mr. Gardiner was feeling neglected and growing impatient. He had come to get a restful holiday, after all, and although he understood his wife’s desire to help her stricken cousin, he felt it was now time for them to depart. Sir Robert was a gentleman of leisure and had the means to hire anyone he pleased, after all. He, on the other hand, would not get the opportunity of another holiday for an entire year.

The final outcome to all the Gardiners’ meetings behind closed doors was that they would continue on to their next destination, and Lizzy would remain while Sir Robert searched for a proper nanny. It had been Elizabeth’s suggestion, but from the first, her uncle was extremely uneasy about leaving her in the house of a bereaved widower who had become all too familiar with his beautiful niece. Sir Robert called Elizabeth by her Christian name, thought nothing of putting his arm around her when he came to take his son out of her arms, and insisted on teaching her chess, so that they could play together in the evenings. He complimented her on everything she did, kissed her hand at every opportunity and generally acted like a besotted schoolboy in her presence. Now that his son was thriving, he seemed nothing like the grieving widower! Edward Gardiner saw trouble in all of this, but his wife had an altogether different view on the subject.

“Edward, really, would it be so terrible if Lizzy developed an attachment to Sir Robert? He is only thirty-five years old and a very kind and handsome man. I can certainly vouch for the honor of his character, and his wife has left him a small fortune along with this fine house and the attached grounds. With Mr. Darcy gone, I cannot imagine her finding a finer gentleman than Robert—or a more comfortable situation. And if you are concerned about his misleading her, I promise you that he will not. He knows how fond we are of Elizabeth and would not be able to face us if he did.”

“Aren’t you rushing things a bit, my dear?” replied Mr. Gardiner. “The man only buried his wife less than three weeks ago!”

“All the more reason to trust him. He is not blind to the impropriety of showing an interest in any young woman before the year is up. These few weeks will merely give them a chance to get to know one another better. Elizabeth will be doing a fine act of charity by staying here, and if anything comes of it, I will be only too happy for both of them.”

“Is that the message I am to convey when next I write to my sister and brother at Longbourn?. That I left their daughter with a handsome, grieving widower in the hope that they would form an attachment? Really Madeline, it is truly irresponsible!”

But all their arguing was for naught, for Elizabeth insisted that she would not leave Jonathan in the care of the servants, and that Sir Robert, for all his nurturing ways, was not capable of caring for his son on his own. She would stay until a nanny was found and then Sir Robert would accompany her home himself.

Mr. Gardiner was not at all convinced, but Elizabeth assured him that she wanted to stay—as much for herself as for the child. Living at Longbourn and seeing Jane as mistress of her own home would not be easy for her, she admitted. “It seems that as much as I love my sister, I am a jealous creature, after all,” she said, humbly. “Another few weeks here will help me to adjust to these new realities without burdening Jane during the first months of her marriage. Please, Uncle Gardiner, I beg you to let me stay. Here, my own foolish problems are put in perspective. I will be stronger for it when I return to Hertfordshire, I assure you.”

With this reasoning before him, Edward Gardiner could have no argument. And so they left with the promise to check in on her on their return, two weeks hence, and with her uncle’s strict warning for her to guard her heart, as well as her reputation.

____________________________________________________________________________________


Elizabeth rose slowly from the tree stump, centering Jonathan on her chest. “There, now we can be off again, and we must hurry, for your papa is surely waiting on me for breakfast.” This was yet another part of her morning routine -– sharing breakfast with Sir Robert and planning out the day together.

Since Jonathan had weaned himself some six weeks earlier, Mrs. Graham had been dismissed, but Betsy had been retained to help look after him, taking over more and more of Elizabeth’s responsibilities. This left her more time to herself and many more hours to spend with Sir Robert. Elizabeth knew that that was exactly how he had engineered it, and was, of course, pleased and flattered to be thought of as a lady again, rather than a nursemaid.

She had also come to admire and respect Betsy’s skills as a mother, and had encouraged Sir Robert to rely on her completely for Jonathan’s care. But Sir Robert insisted on finding an English-speaking nanny, for he had every intention of returning to England one day and wanted his son to be able to switch off his brogue and sound like a proper English gentleman. This was of utmost importance to him, and he would not be rushed or swayed by any arguments she put forth.

“I shall have to have another one of those serious talks with your papa today, Jonathan,” said Elizabeth, as she strode towards what she now considered home. She had never stayed in any one place so long, and Longbourn seemed so very far away. She missed Jane desperately, and Papa, of course, and there were even times when she longed to hear Kitty and Lydia’s bickering echo through the house. She would then be struck by the realization that Lydia no longer lived at home.

After two months had passed and Sir Robert’s delaying tactics had become obvious, her father had threatened to come and fetch her himself. Then a week later, much to Elizabeth’s surprise, he wrote to say that Aunt Gardiner had persuaded him to give the situation a bit more time. But as one week followed another, an exceptionally harsh winter invaded the highlands, making the roads impassable and halting travel for many months. Jane and Charles had planned on coming for her in March, but a difficult early pregnancy had prevented it. Now Elizabeth was resolved to leave in any way possible. She would not be away from her sister any longer!

“He is going to give me an argument, I know; and several excuses, as well, but I must go home. It is time – way past time! If I cannot cast my lot with him, then I have no business staying here.”

She swallowed hard as thoughts of her wavering resolve plagued her. Why could she not bring herself to accept Sir Robert? It would be by far a more eligible match than she could ever hope to make in England. True, Braemar Castle was far from Longbourn, but was the possibility of being content, even happy, greater here with him than with anyone she could imagine meeting in the future? Would she leave Scotland and this exceptional offer of marriage only to find herself settling for someone else a few years later out of desperation? She had come to realize that making a permanent home with her sister at Netherfield would not be advisable and remaining at home with her mother utterly impossible. Had she really come round to Charlotte’s way of thinking? Where was her naïve resolve only to marry for the very deepest love? She was thoroughly ashamed of herself.

At least, she and Sir Robert knew each other very well now. He had long ago convinced her that his love for her was genuine, and she, in turn, liked and respected him. They were so easy together; it would all be so comfortable. In essence, she had been the mistress of the house for some time now, organizing Jonathan’s routines, planning meals and supervising the servants. Their relationship only lacked the physical intimacy that came with marriage. Sir Robert certainly did not repulse her! In fact, there were times when they were laughing together or walking quietly down a lane that she yearned to lean on him or press his hand. She was truly fond of him. He was a good, kind, and honorable man. What more could she ask for, short of the passionate love that would always be reserved for Fitzwilliam? Was she being a fool to refuse him? She didn’t know.

“And you will forget me soon enough, my sweet boy;” she said to her precious little charge, as she put her nose to his feathery fine hair and breathed in his lovely, baby scent.

They were now descending the slope with the magnificent view of the old Braemar Castle to the left and the beautifully restored guesthouse to the right of it. The intricate patterns of the gardens meshed the two together, so that in her mind, the entirety of the estate was home. Indeed, Sir Robert spent as much time at the inn as he did at home, and of late, she had been accompanying him. In this lonely part of the world, Sir Robert had found the male companionship he craved in the guests that visited regularly. There were those men with whom he hunted, those with whom he played chess and those with whom he discussed books and politics. He was a fixture at the inn, often dining there and always attending the musical performances. The inn had gained a most favorable reputation among the elite of London, and Sir Robert often found himself in the most distinguished company.

Elizabeth now smiled as four large carriages made their way around the circular drive to stop by the main entrance of the inn. “Your papa will be very happy to hear that new guests have arrived, Jonathan. Hopefully there are some chess players among them.”

She watched as four ladies and three gentlemen descended from the first two carriages and turned to wait for the passengers of the third to join them. As they proceeded towards the inn's entrance, something in the gait of the tallest gentleman struck a chord and caused her to gasp aloud.

Don’t be ridiculous! Now you are hallucinating! What would he be doing in Scotland, and at Braemar Castle of all places! It is time you went home, Elizabeth! It is definitely time you went home!

Chapter Three

“A large party of guests has just arrived at the inn, Sir Robert,” announced Elizabeth as she handed Jonathan over to Betsy and removed her bonnet. “Hopefully you will find a chess partner among the gentlemen.”

“Indeed, I am looking forward to meeting them,” said Sir Robert, lifting his son out of Betsy’s arms. With one quick motion, he threw him high in the air and caught him again. Betsy gasped and put her trembling hand over her heart, as she always did when Sir Robert roughhoused with the boy. But the game was only beginning, for neither father nor son would be satisfied with fewer than six or eight tosses, and the higher Jonathan was tossed, the louder he squealed.

Naturally, once Jonathan had been wound up into a frenzy of excitement, Sir Robert handed him back to the servant to deal with the repercussions. Elizabeth rolled her eyes in Betsy’s direction, and they both suppressed a laugh as the baby stretched out his chubby little arms and wailed for more. But by now his father had other things on his mind and, gently urging Elizabeth towards the breakfast room, returned to the conversation at hand.

“Old Simmons told me of their expected arrival the other day. He said the senior gentleman of the party would be celebrating his seventieth birthday tomorrow evening. I understand that four of the finest musicians in the country have been engaged for the occasion and that the pastry chef has been preparing for days. Perhaps I can arrange for an invitation, Elizabeth. What do you say?” he asked, only half in jest.

“No thank you, Sir,” said Elizabeth, grinning. “I am not in the habit of imposing myself on other people or their celebrations.”

He pulled out the chair for her, and before seating himself, poured her a cup of coffee. “Your complexion tells me you’ve had a strenuous walk, Elizabeth. Perhaps Jonathan has become too heavy to be carried about in such a manner? I will not have you injuring your back.”

“Oh, no! As long as I have him well centered, his weight is not a problem. He is, however, kicking me black and blue in his excitement to see the birds and the chipmunks. I shall require extra compensation for injuries received in the performance of my duties,” she quipped playfully.

It was a longstanding joke between them. From the very beginning, Elizabeth had refused to take any compensation for her care of the baby, insisting that friends and extended family members did not seek payment for their help in times of crisis. And although Sir Robert continued to urge her to accept it, she continued to refuse it. He had, therefore, unbeknownst to her, finally written to her father, informing him of the account that had been set up in Elizabeth’s name and of the regular payments that would be deposited there as long as she continued on at Braemar in her present capacity.

“Shall I call a doctor to attend to your wounds, Miss Bennet? I would not wish these grievances to undermine your happiness with your position here,” he retorted.

“Position!” cried Elizabeth. “And what position might that be, Sir? Do you forget that I am only here to help you get by until you can find a proper nanny?” She leaned forward suddenly and, playfully wagging an accusing finger at him, warned, “Don’t answer that so hastily, Sir, for I believe you conveniently forget that fact when it comes to making any effort to replace me. And it is a serious issue that we must address—yet again!”

“I’m afraid it is very difficult to find someone with your skills and qualifications, Miss Bennet.”

“Tell me truly, Sir, have you made any inquiries at all?” she now said in all seriousness.

Robert Bennington looked thoughtfully down at his coffee cup, then raised his eyes to meet hers. He hoped his boyish charm would soften the impertinence of the remark he was about to make.

“Surely there is no need for me to hire a nanny, Elizabeth,” he said softly. “Jonathan and I are perfectly content. The only obstacle that remains is to persuade you to accept your place here as my wife. Betsy will do nicely as a nanny as long as you are here to guide her. My year of mourning will soon be over and we can be married soon after.”

Elizabeth set down her cup, momentarily closing her eyes and sighing. “Sir Robert, please. We have been over this time and time again. I cannot marry you, and I wish to go home. Please,” she now said in the most solemn tone. “Please understand and respect my wishes. Make it possible for me to leave.”

“But that is precisely the point,” he said, taking her hand and pressing it to his lips. “I cannot let you go, and what is more, I cannot understand your reasons for rejecting me.”

She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off with the sudden gesture.

“Forgive my conceit, Miss Bennet,” he said in a playfully teasing tone, “but if I thought, for even one moment, that you did not care for me or that I was in any way repugnant to you, I would acquiesce to your wishes immediately. But we have spent too much time in each others’ company for there to be any doubt of your fondness for me.”

Again, she tried to respond, but he silenced her with his fingers to her lips.

“What is more, you love my son and feel very much at home in this house. It is already your house, Elizabeth; you have been mistress of it for many months now. The servants acknowledge it, our neighbors look forward to the announcement that it is officially so, …and I long for it most passionately. You are the one that G-d intended for me, Elizabeth! You know my marriage to Fiona was one of convenience, arranged by our families. Had she lived, I would have done my duty by her and pretended to be the devoted husband; but I did not love her, Elizabeth...though G-d knows I tried. We were simply incompatible. Not one day of our marriage was as free and easy as each and every day has been with you!”

“I am fond of you, Robert,” she now hastily interrupted. “I cannot and will not deny that. But I do not love you as a wife should and may never be able to return your ardent affection. It would not be right for me to accept you. Indeed, it would be selfish and cruel.”

“But I accept the fact that your feelings, at present, do not equal mine!” he protested. “And I am willing to risk my heart if you would but give me the chance to make you love me. I know I can, Elizabeth! I know your warm and affectionate nature, and I have every confidence that I can make you very, very happy.”

“I doubt if that will ever be possible,” said Elizabeth, more forcefully now. “I have not wished to say this so plainly, Sir, but you leave me no choice. My heart belongs to another. I love him so deeply, and I doubt whether that shall ever change. Forgive me. I do not wish to hurt you, but I must make it clear that we have no future together.”

He sat stunned for a moment, then composed himself enough to reply, “No, no! It was right of you to tell me. It is best that I know the real reason behind you rejection. But tell me, Elizabeth, where is this man who is so fortunate to have won your heart? You have been here now for eight months and he has not come for you. Is he ill? Is he wounded? If I knew that you cared for me only half as much, I would not allow anything or anyone to keep me from your side. What kind of man neglects the woman he loves so cruelly?”

“It is very complicated,” murmured Elizabeth, hurt and stunned by his words. She folded her napkin very carefully and with trembling fingers set it on the table. “I beg you would excuse me, Sir. There are things that require my attention.”

He took hold of her wrist as she rose from the table. “You haven’t eaten a bite of breakfast. Now I know I’ve upset you, but you must eat.”

“I have no appetite, Sir. Perhaps later I shall ask for a tray to be sent up to the nursery.”

***

Sir Robert Bennington could not wheedle an invitation to the Matlocks’ private dinner party, but he was asked, along with a number of other distinguished guests, to join the family for the musical gala later that evening. He had begged Elizabeth to accompany him, but no amount of coaxing would move her. Though she would have liked to attend the performance, she preferred not to be seen, yet again, walking into the inn on Sir Robert’s arm. It was true that everyone in this small hamlet, especially the staff and permanent guests of the inn, speculated about her future as the mistress of Braemar House. She had allowed herself to neglect the finer points of propriety in this out-of-the-way place so far from home, and now she feared she would pay the price on her departure. There would certainly be gossip and speculation when she left for Hertfordshire. Uncle Gardiner had warned her to guard her reputation. Why had she not been more vigilant?

She and Sir Robert had shared so many difficult moments together in the care of the child and their casual, trusting relationship had grown out of those shared experiences. They spent many sleepless nights comforting the baby or discussing what was best to be done for him. They had wept and laughed together, seeing him through minor childhood complaints and one rather serious infectious fever. Had Sir Robert treated her like a servant, she would have been offended, but she was neither a close relation nor an old, dear friend to be treated so intimately. Though she herself was perfectly comfortable with the situation, she knew that it could easily be misunderstood. Her position at Braemar House was an odd one indeed—the rules and boundaries of behavior blurred by need and familiarity. Though there had never been any true impropriety between them, Elizabeth had to admit that, to an outsider, their relationship might seem suspect.

Now, as she sat on the large stone portico enjoying the soft night air, the music wafted across the gardens to caress her. These musicians were exceptional—harmonizing and blending so beautifully that she could scarcely differentiate the various instruments. A string quartet had always been her favorite ensemble, but she had rarely had the opportunity to attend a performance. Here I am, so close, and still I cannot enjoy it properly,” she sighed. Surely there would be no harm in my moving closer to sit on the bench by the hydrangeas. No one shall see me there and I will be able to hear the music so much better.

Wrapping her shawl about her shoulders, she slowly made her way to the garden bench closest to, but hidden from the veranda, where the great French doors had been swung wide to admit the cool night air. She twirled and swayed as she floated down the garden path, delighting in the solitude that allowed her such a luxury. As she sat down and settled in to enjoy herself, the sonata came to an end, and her ears picked up the delighted murmurings of an audience eager for the next offering. Then, as the entire room fell respectfully silent, the viola introduced the main theme of the new piece. It was soon taken up by the cello, and then by the violin—with the surprising addition of a pianoforte, rounding out the sound so magnificently.

“If only I could play like that,” mused Elizabeth . “But then I have never taken the trouble of practicing! Perhaps it would have benefited me to remain at Rosings and use the instrument in Mrs. Jenkinson’s room! Then perhaps I would have the right to be dissatisfied with my own performance!” she laughed to herself.

The performer was not only technically skilled, but a true musician in every sense. His phrasing was perfection, his interpretation exquisite. Elizabeth imagined him to be a gentleman of forty or fifty, graying at the temples, with a strong cleft chin. All good and handsome men should have a cleft chin, she decided. She could think of nothing more appealing on a man—and on one man, most particularly.

Joyous applause and the scraping of chairs signaled the concert’s end, as people began to flow onto the veranda to stretch their legs and praise the performers. Mesmerized by the music, Elizabeth had been slow to leave and was now worried that someone might see her. She drew her shawl about her head and shoulders and retreated slowly so as not to draw attention to herself. As she walked away, she overheard a lady speaking to her companion.

“Oh, cousin! You must be so terribly proud of her! Playing before all those people! I’m sure our uncle is cognizant of her brave tribute to his honor. However did she manage to practice with the other musicians without our noticing?”

But her companion’s reply was lost in a sea of voices that now came to praise the musicians, and Elizabeth was soon moving swiftly through the maze of hedges she knew so well towards the sanctuary of her own room. She would have liked to hear Sir Robert’s comments on the highlights of the evening, but knew it would be best to keep to herself tonight. Tomorrow she would give him her notice. He would have until the end of the month to find a new nanny.

***

The morning air was so fresh and inviting that Robert Bennington had his servants move the breakfast things onto the veranda. Here he would sip his coffee, read his paper and wait for Elizabeth to return from her walk. He was feeling particularly pleased with himself this morning because the evening before, in a moment of inspired genius, he had sent an express to Longbourn, inviting the entire Bennet family, along with Mr. and Mrs. Bingley, to come to Braemar.

Despite Elizabeth’s revelation that she harbored strong feelings for another man, Sir Robert took courage from the reality of her situation. Obviously there were problems with the match, insurmountable problems, or so it seemed. He prayed that time would heal her wound and perhaps open her heart to him. So with great optimism, he had written to propose a month’s holiday at the inn—at his expense of course, as recompense for selfishly keeping Elizabeth in Scotland. If Elizabeth could not see the benefits of becoming his wife, then perhaps her sister Jane would. Her opinion, he understood from his cousin Madeline, was the one that would carry the greatest weight with Elizabeth.

Although his primary purpose was to win Jane Bingley’s esteem and thus make her his advocate, he could hardly have invited her without the rest of the family. He had no assurances that his plan would work, of course, but whatever the outcome, both families would then be together to celebrate an engagement or, heaven forbid, take Elizabeth home.

Being a positive person by nature, his thoughts were thus pleasantly occupied with the more joyous of the two prospects, when he heard the muffled voices of two gentleman strolling, yet unseen, in the adjoining garden maze. Their voices were unmistakable. Delighted with the thought of their company, he called out to them.

“Gentlemen, good morning! Have you breakfasted yet? Come join me, won’t you?”

“Sir Robert,” said the taller, dark haired gentleman, as he peered over the hedges, “I’m afraid the Colonel and I are trespassing.”

“Nonsense!” replied Sir Robert, making his way down the steps to greet them. “If I didn’t enjoy the social interaction made possible by trespassing guests, I would have put up fencing long ago. The inn’s guests are always welcome to pass through my gardens. Only once was I irritated by some rambunctious youths that picked all the buds off my rose bushes. So unless you have come with some botanical mischief in mind, I urge you to stay and join me!”

“Indeed we have not,” laughed Darcy. “The Colonel and I are just taking the morning air while waiting for the ladies to come down to breakfast.”

“Yes, yes, I too wait upon a lady to share my morning meal. But the coffee is hot and freshly brewed, and I would enjoy it all the more in your company. Can I not entice you to sit with me a while. I wish to thank you for a truly memorable evening, Colonel, and to tell you, Mr. Darcy, how much I enjoyed your sister’s performance.”

Colonel Fitzwilliam grinned at his cousin, nodded his approval and gestured for them to follow their host.

“And hopefully, you shall have the opportunity to meet my little son, who is presently out rambling. It is not often that this unashamedly, proud papa has a chance to show him off.”

“And how old is the lad, Sir Robert?” inquired the Colonel, accepting the cream being passed to him.

“He is nine months old and already quite a handful!”

Darcy’s eyes widened in surprise, and after a moment’s contemplation, he asked, “ Is he actually walking at such an early age? And rambling, no less?”

“Oh, no!” laughed Sir Robert. “Elizabeth carries him in this ingenious sling that she’s fashioned for just that purpose.”

At the sound of that all too common, but precious name, Darcy startled. The term “rambling” had not been lost on him either. But before he could chide himself for thinking such ridiculous thoughts, there she was, walking towards him! She was still a good way off and totally unaware that she was being scrutinized. Darcy bolted from his chair, his heart threatening to pound through chest. What in the world was she doing here? And why was she…?

“And here they come,” declared Sir Robert, enthusiastically. “I ask you, Gentleman. Are they not a vision? Am I not a fortunate man?”

The Colonel’s coffee made a slight detour towards his windpipe, and he coughed loudly as he saw Elizabeth Bennet, red cheeked and glowing, striding up the walk. The ruddy complexion of the child she carried matched her own, as did the sparkle in his eyes. The babe now began kicking his feet and eagerly reaching out to his father. Miss Bennet on the other hand, froze upon that moment of recognition, instinctively turning away and bringing her hand up to cover her mouth. Within an instant, however, she seemed to recover her composure and continued towards them, though at a much slower and more measured pace.

Keenly attuned to every subtle change in her expression, Darcy noted her mounting distress. The tiny muscles about her mouth were trembling and her eyes darted every which way in an effort to avoid his. Obviously, she was as shocked as he. But while he felt an overwhelming sense of joy at seeing her, she, it was painfully clear, felt quite the opposite.

Unnerved and visibly uncomfortable, she pursed her lips and looked nervously down at the knots of the sling she was struggling to open. When they finally came undone, she handed the child over to Sir Robert and cast her eyes to the ground, not once looking up at either one of them.

“And here is the light of my life, gentlemen. Is he not a fine, healthy boy?”

“Indeed,” answered the Colonel, fully aware that Darcy was, at present, incapable of doing anything more than keeping himself upright.

“Oh, but forgive me! Allow me to introduce . . .”

“Introductions are quite unnecessary, Sir Robert,” Elizabeth hastily interrupted. “Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam are old acquaintances. How do you do, gentlemen. How very nice to see you again,” she said quickly. She then curtsied politely and murmured, “Will you please excuse me, gentlemen?” hurrying away even before they could straighten from their acknowledgement of her.

“But Elizabeth, where are you going?” called Sir Robert after her, completely befuddled by her behavior. “Come and have your breakfast; I’ve waited for you.”

“AHEM, yes, well, speaking of breakfast, I believe Darcy and I ought to be getting back. It would not be in our best interest to keep the ladies waiting,” said Colonel Fitzwilliam, steering his stunned cousin away from the table. “It was a pleasure, Sir, and I am sure that we shall see you again in the course of the day.”

“Yes, I am sure we will,” said Sir Robert, refocusing his attention on his departing guests. “Let me know if I can be of any service to you. I know the countryside very well.”

“Indeed we shall. Thank you, Sir.”

***

They walked in silence for a while, each trying to digest what he had just seen and heard. Elizabeth Bennet here in Scotland? Living in the home of Robert Bennington as… what? His wife? Darcy had not had the presence of mind to look for a ring, but Elizabeth was obviously not the child’s mother—the boy’s age was proof of that. Why was she here then…and what was her position in the family? The question twisted at Darcy’s heart.

He had given her up for lost so many months ago and had been trying to convince himself, ever since, that he was capable of making a life for himself without her. But seeing her now, being in her presence for these few moments had brought back all the intensity and depth of feeling that he had been trying to bury—along with the realization that a life without her would be empty and meaningless indeed. He needed her! He needed her love, her affection and her esteem. He would never be whole without it.

Pain and pleasure mingled indistinguishably at the thought of how well and happy she had looked before becoming aware of him. His Elizabeth was here, in this, of all unlikely places! Was this not a sign that the fates wished to bring them together again? Or was this yet another plan devised to punish and humiliate him?

The Colonel’s voice drew Darcy from his thoughts. “She is clearly not the child’s mother! You saw her at Bingley’s wedding not ten months ago, did you not? Was she heavy with child then?”

Darcy’s shocked expression was his only reply to such an offensive query concerning Elizabeth!

The Colonel shrugged his shoulders. “Well, of course not! There, you see, the child cannot possibly be her's!”

“Very astute of you, Richard!” snapped Darcy. “She may not have borne him,” he now said in a more subdued tone, “but she may now be his mother, nevertheless.”

“You are jumping to conclusions, Cousin. Miss Bennet may very well be employed as the boy’s nanny!”

“Nanny? Do you think her family has sunk to that? No, I cannot believe it! Besides, I’ve never heard of an employer waiting upon a servant to share his breakfast…or addressing her by her Christian name. No, they must be married. And yet she seemed distressed to have me know it!” he said, looking utterly bewildered.

“I am not convinced, Darcy. Something is not right!” Suddenly he laughed aloud. “But why in the world are we speculating?” he now chuckled, “We shall have the answers to all these mysteries as soon as I have sent my man out to make some inquiries of the staff.”

“You will do no such thing, Richard! I shall not have you feeding the rumor mill by showing any interest in Miss Bennet …or Mrs. Bennington, …whatever her name may be. Promise me, Richard! Promise me that you will ask nothing and do nothing! And what is more, I do not want Georgiana told of Elizabeth’s presence here—not yet. When she learns of it, she will naturally wish to seek her out, prompting questions from Lady Catherine and your parents! Let it be for now. We cannot prevent the inevitable, but we need not rush headlong to meet it. No doubt, we shall learn all there is to know in good time.”

Colonel Fitzwilliam nodded his assent. Lady Catherine would not be at all pleased to learn that her own sweet niece had become enamored with the very lady who would rob Anne of her right to be Mistress of Pemberley. It would all come out in the end, to be sure, unless Miss Bennet was already married to Robert Bennington. Then, this painful episode in his cousin’s life would be over for good. Yet somehow, Richard Fitzwilliam doubted that it was the case.

Dearest Anne - Chapter 4

Elizabeth shut the door behind her and leaned heavily against it. “What have I done?” she murmured miserably.

She was now thoroughly ashamed of the way she had behaved and utterly humiliated at the thought of how childish and ungracious she had been. But the shock of seeing them there was indescribable, and escape was all she had been able to think of at the time. Sir Robert’s painful words of the other morning echoed in her ear.

“Where is this man who has been so fortunate to have won your heart?”

Oh, she knew full well that Fitzwilliam Darcy had not come to Scotland in search of her. Indeed, his sudden appearance at Braemar Castle, of all places, had to be the oddest twist of fate she could ever have imagined—one that seemed especially designed to humiliate and torment her.

She had been doing so much better of late. She had been managing to limit her pining for him to only those times when she was on her own—at night in the quiet of her room, in the mornings while bathing or rambling about the countryside. She could now attend to other people’s conversations without that incessant, internal dialogue that her mind had insisted upon those first few months after he had gone from Hertfordshire. Why then had the fates conspired to have them meet again and throw her back into that cycle of longing and despair?

“What must he think of me?” she cried, as she sank into the chair by her dressing table. Gazing into the mirror she realized that not only had she behaved badly, but that she must have looked a fright as well! Her face was flushed—damp and glistening with perspiration—several beads of moisture resting above her upper lip. As usual, Jonathan had pulled down some of the curls that had been so carefully arranged earlier that morning and there were dark stains on the sleeve of her frock where he had drooled on it. Elizabeth hid her face in her hands. The worst humiliation was that she had left the house without her bonnet, as had become her custom on these warm summer days. “What must he think of me, looking and behaving like a peasant?”

“I know exactly what he thinks!” she declared angrily to her image in the glass. “He thinks you’ve degraded yourself, working as a servant in another man’s house!” Yet in the midst of her indignation a tiny voice whispered from within. “Quite the contrary, he thinks you have married Sir Robert.” Rising abruptly from her chair, she cried into the stillness of her room, “Oh, Fitzwilliam, no! Don’t think that! You mustn’t think that!”

A knock on the door brought her quickly to her senses. Betsy peeked in and asked, “Did you call me, Miss Elizabeth? Is there something you need?”

“Oh no, no thank you,” she replied, somewhat distractedly. Then suddenly remembering her responsibilities, she added, “Yes actually, there is something. Would you go out to the veranda and rescue Sir Robert? I left Jonathan in his care a few moments ago.”

“Of course, Miss,” said Betsy, smiling. She could see Elizabeth’s distress, but knew better than to reveal any concern. She quietly closed the door and hurried off to fetch the child.

With Jonathan’s welfare off her mind, Elizabeth lay back against the cushions of her bed, closed her eyes and allowed her mind to wander. The sounds and images of the past few days invaded her thoughts as she hovered between wakefulness and sleep:

“The elder gentleman is celebrating his seventieth birthday …”

“In front of all those people! Our uncle must be cognizant of her brave tribute to his honor…”

“What kind of man neglects the woman he loves so cruelly?

“I know I can make you very, very happy…”

Elizabeth bolted upright, her eyes now wide as she stared blankly out into the room.

“Georgiana! It must have been Georgiana playing last night!” she uttered in astonishment, “And it was the Earl’s seventieth birthday they were celebrating! They are all here! Oh dear G-d! Lady Catherine must be here as well! Four ladies and three gentlemen! Yes, that is what I counted. Oh, heaven forbid I should meet with Lady Catherine now! I don’t think I could bear it!”

She flew to her window hoping to see the gentlemen still in conversation with Sir Robert, but they were gone. Her eyes turned towards the portico of the inn just in time to see the Colonel follow Darcy inside. Her heart sank. Had she been quick enough, she might have limited the damage by rejoining them with some plausible excuse. Now it was too late. The impression she had left would be a lasting one.

Taking the counterpane from the bed, she wrapped herself in it and settled back onto the window seat to stare at the inn. It was far too warm to be huddled in it, yet she needed the comfort it provided. She soon fell asleep, thrashing about the events of the morning in her mind.

***

When she awoke almost an hour later, she peered out at the gardens, the great lawn and the lake beyond. It was a beautiful day—far too beautiful to have created such unhappiness. If she could only leave Braemar this very instant, she would, but she had given Sir Robert until the end of the month and, of course, could not go back on her word.

The great French doors off the inn’s dining room suddenly opened, and Elizabeth saw Mr. Darcy appear in the doorway. He turned to offer his arm to a slender young woman who stepped gingerly down the first steps and then leaned on him as they strolled together through the garden. The distance was too great to actually see their faces, but she had recognized him instantly. His stance, his gate, his demeanor immediately told her that this was her beloved Fitzwilliam. She assumed, at first, that it was Georgiana who was with him, but it soon became clear that it was not — the lady’s hair was dark and her manner of walking altogether different. A sudden pang of envy overwhelmed her as she watched the couple meander arm and arm through the perennial garden, their heads inclined towards one another, as people are apt do when engaged in an intimate conversation.

Stopping by a stone bench, they sat down facing each other, their hands clasped. They sat in this way for some time until Darcy took one of the lady’s hands in his and brought it to his lips, leaning ever closer. Elizabeth knew it was wrong of her to stare at them, but she could not tear her eyes away. And as she continued to study them, the lady raised her free hand and placed it tenderly on Mr. Darcy’s cheek. At this, Elizabeth shut her eyes and turned away, stunned by the intensity of her own feelings. She had never thought herself a jealous creature, but the sight of another woman caressing his face was…unbearable.

Yet, after a few moments she was drawn back to the painful scene and saw the approach of a figure she could not fail to recognize—the haughty bearing of a person whose carriage she would never mistake. Lady Catherine was making her way towards the couple, and being obviously pleased with them both, kissed them on the cheek. After a brief exchange, she continued down the path, her self-satisfied demeanor making no secret of her very great pleasure.

“It is Anne!” gasped Elizabeth in genuine surprise. “It is Anne, and Fitzwilliam is going to marry her after all! No wonder they are so intimate with one another! They must be engaged already! How stupid of me.”

She left the window in a daze and came to sit forlornly at the foot of her bed, wrapping her arms protectively around herself. Ever since Fitzwilliam’s departure from Hertfordshire, she had accepted the fact that he would never offer to her again. But seeing him here with Anne—so close, so affectionate—was quite another matter. As painful as knowing that she had lost him to another was the thought that he would now think ill of her…for as long as he lived.

***

“I’m so sorry that Mama found us together in this way, Fitzwilliam. We should have been more careful, more discreet,” said Anne, as she held tightly to her cousin’s hand.

“There is no point in distressing yourself, dear Anne. We shall have to make her aware of our resolve eventually, but let us postpone that conversation for a while. I would not have her anger spoil this family holiday for everyone—especially our uncle.”

“Yes, of course, we should say nothing for now. Though I doubt that she will have the good sense to avoid the subject.”

“We will deal with it if and when we must,” said Darcy, “but at the moment…I cannot…”

“Oh Cousin! How it pains me to see you so unhappy!”

“And I am ashamed and sorry for having burdened you with all my troubles! But I hope you know how much your sweet indulgence and understanding have meant to me, Anne. Never did I dream that I could speak of it to anyone,” said Darcy, pressing her hand. “Richard knows, of course, but I could not talk about it with him the way I have done with you. Men do not allow themselves the luxury of wrestling with such feelings with each other. And Georgie’s disappointment at the loss of Elizabeth is still too fresh, too painful. She dearly wanted Elizabeth for a sister and I will not add to her regrets. So it all falls on you, dear Anne. Forgive me for having placed so much on your shoulders.”

“My shoulders are broader than they seem and most willing to share the burden of your troubles, Fitzwilliam. Have you any idea how good it feels to be needed, to be of use to another person—especially one so dear to me? Though it hurts me to see you so despondent, I am thankful to be able to be of some comfort to you—even if all I can do is listen.”

“That is a very great deal indeed, Anne,” said Darcy, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. “Just promise me that you will box my ears if I become too troublesome. Knowing how sensible you are, I shall never be offended.”

Anne de Bourgh laughed as she rose to take the arm now being extended to her. The cousins slowly made their way back to the house in search of Richard and Georgiana, whom they had so ungraciously abandoned to the company of the elder members of the family. As much as they enjoyed their quiet times together, they could not afford to separate themselves from the others too often. Then, not only would Lady Catherine, but the Matlocks, misconstrue their attachment.

***
Fitzwilliam Darcy had not slept for most of the night, and finally, at four in the morning had lit a candle and made himself comfortable with a book in a large winged chair. It was there that his man found him in a fitful sleep at seven—one full hour past the time he normally awoke. Darcy bathed and shaved in great haste, but was nevertheless late for breakfast, inconveniencing some of his relations and merely amusing others.

“There you are, Fitzwilliam!” said Lady Catherine, placing her teacup down on its saucer. “It is not like you to keep us all waiting. And where are you hiding your sister? Is she not with you? I thought you would be coming down together?”

Darcy turned to smile at the other members of his family. “Good morning, Aunt. Good morning, Uncle,” he said bowing to Earl and Lady Matlock. “I hope you slept well. Good morning, Anne, you are looking especially lovely this morning!” To Richard, he simply nodded. “And good morning to you, Aunt Catherine. I apologize for keeping you waiting and am sorry to disappoint you, but my man informed me that Georgiana left her rooms for a walk rather early this morning. I have no idea where she may be at the moment, but I shall find her if you like.”

“Oh, do sit down, Fitzwilliam,” said Lady Matlock. “There is no need for you to go in search of her. I’m certain she will be in momentarily. Did you not sleep well, my boy? You look a bit haggard. Indeed, it pains me to say that you have not looked at all well lately. No doubt, you’ve been pushing yourself much too hard with estate business. Well, I hope you will take the opportunity to rest and restore your strength while you are here. Your uncle and I are most concerned about you.”

“I did have a restless night, Aunt, but you needn’t worry. I am perfectly well and strong, and have every intention of indulging in a rather indolent life style while I am here.” He lifted his coffee cup as if he were offering a toast and grinned at his uncle, who just chuckled at his nephew’s talent for charming the ladies.

When another fifteen minutes had passed and Georgiana had still not made her appearance, Darcy insisted on leaving the table to look for her. He wandered through the downstairs sitting rooms, peered out through several sets of French doors and finally came to a small solarium attached to the west wing. There he spied his sister’s beautifully coiffed curls as they bobbed and swayed to the rhythm of her animated conversation. He heard her long before he was upon her, which was unusual in and of itself, as Georgiana was normally rather quiet and shy. Yet now, carefree giggles burst from her lips.

“What adventures you have had, Elizabeth! I would never have had the courage to accept such a responsibility!”

“I’m afraid I wasn’t given much choice. But then I suspect we all rise to the occasion when there is nothing else to be done,” replied that sweet, familiar voice.

“And now he is a healthy, active boy! It is to your great credit, Elizabeth! I would so much like to meet him! May I pay you a visit this afternoon and play with him a little?”

“You’d be most welcome, Georgiana…but I don’t know that your brother would approve. You had better ask him before you come,” said Elizabeth, her voice now sounding strained.

“But why would Fitzwilliam have an objection? On the contrary, he will be so happy to learn that you are here that he will surely insist on coming along!”

I doubt that very much, thought Elizabeth, as he has seen fit to keep my presence here a secret from you! But instead she said, “I think such a reunion might be a bit awkward at the house. Perhaps I should bring Jonathan to the children’s garden by the goldfish pond after his afternoon nap. We often play there, and you can join us whenever you like.”

Darcy’s countenance fell as he quietly retreated. He was not about to interrupt their conversation or impose himself on their happy reunion. “It would be awkward…your brother may not approve…” Elizabeth’s wishes were clear. Well, she need not worry; he would not inflict himself on her. Indeed, he would keep his distance. As a married woman, she was right to feel apprehensive about his proximity. Had he not professed an ardent and passionate love for her, and then, even once rejected, made subtle overtures to her in Derbyshire? No, he would not wish to make her uncomfortable. He would respect her position here as the mistress of Braemar House and leave her be.

On his return to the dining room he reported that he had not found Georgiana, but that the desk clerk had seen her returning earlier. Perhaps she had gone to her rooms to refresh herself or fetch a shawl?

Darcy resumed his seat and looked down at the plateful of food he had taken from the sideboard. He could eat none of it now. Aware that the others were watching him, he could only imagine the picture he presented. The muscles about his mouth were drawn down, weighted by some powerful force, and hard as he might, he could not raise them.

“Your food has gone cold, Fitzwilliam. Let me fix you another plate,” said Anne, reaching out to take it, but Darcy gently stayed her hand and shook his head. “No, Cousin, I am not very hungry. Just another cup of coffee will do.”

“Fitzwilliam, you must eat something,” said Lady Matlock. ‘You have gotten exceedingly thin.”

To this, the Colonel could not resist adding, “What Darcy? Not eating, not sleeping? One would think you were in love.”

Both his cousins turned to glare at him, and Richard Fitzwilliam now realized the seriousness of his blunder. He had been referring to Miss Bennet, of course, but to the others at the table the likely object of Darcy’s affection would be Anne. The Colonel winced. Yet despite this faux pas and the risk of rousing Darcy’s anger with such teasing, he felt it his duty to spur him into action concerning Miss Bennet.

Turning irritably from the Colonel to his aunt, Darcy continued, “No, Aunt, I assure you my appetite is ...”

“I’m so sorry, everyone,” came Georgiana’s animated voice as she hurried to settle herself in the seat left vacant for her. “I do apologize! I met an old friend in the front parlor and lost track of the time. Please forgive me.”

The Colonel shot a glance at Darcy and then asked, “An old friend, Georgie? Here, in this remote corner of the world?”

“Yes! Is it not remarkable? And you shall never guess who it is!” she said, turning excitedly towards her brother. “It is Miss Bennet, Fitzwilliam,” she said softly. “Miss Elizabeth Bennet is here at Braemar!”

His reaction was far from the one she expected. He looked stunned for a moment, but not at all pleased. His dark eyes narrowed and his features froze, making his countenance unreadable.

The Colonel, however, was determined to make the most of this chance meeting! He would use it to bring this unbearable situation to a head. “Miss Bennet? Is it not Lady Bennington? I thought I saw her with an infant early yesterday.”

Georgiana looked both puzzled and hurt. “Why did you not tell me that you had seen her, Richard? You know how fond I am of Miss Bennet.”

“Who is this Miss Bennet?” asked the Earl, “Some London acquaintance, I presume?”

“No, father,” replied the Colonel. “She is a very charming and clever young lady that Fitzwilliam met in Hertfordshire and then introduced to me at Rosings. Is that not right, Aunt Catherine?”

“Charming young lady, indeed! Ill-bred, impertinent and altogether too common to be called a lady,” retorted Lady Catherine.

“Mother!” said Anne, now coloring with humiliation. “How can you say so? You yourself invited her to dine with us many times. And I came to genuinely admire her. She is witty, poised and very affable. I believe we all enjoyed her company.”

Lady Catherine glared at her daughter. “I invited her because she was a visiting relation of Mr. Collins,” she said haughtily, “and that was long before I knew about her upbringing, her inferior relations and the infamous scandal concerning her sister! I forbid you to have anything to do with her, Anne. And I would advise the rest of you do the same, before your acquaintance with her tarnishes the reputation of this family!”

Georgiana was horrified at this injunction and expected her brother to protest it, but he seemed barricaded behind a wall that nothing could penetrate. Indeed, he had not truly heard anything anyone had said after Richard had uttered that painfully offensive name—Bennington. He was nervously awaiting Georgiana’s reply and was incapable of focusing on anything else.

His cousin persevered on his behalf. “Well, Georgie, which is it? Bennington or Bennet?”

“You think Elizabeth is married to Sir Robert?” said Georgiana in genuine amazement. “No, of course not!” she laughed. “She is simply here to help him care for his son until a proper nanny can be found. She has taken care of the little tyke since his mother’s death—poor little creature. In fact, she mentioned that she’d be returning to Hertfordshire at the end of the month. I am very glad we didn’t miss her. I, for one, am truly anxious to renew our friendship.”

Darcy turned to stare at his sister. While his mind was still adjusting to the blessed revelation that Elizabeth was yet unmarried, his heart was moved to breaking at Georgiana’s courage to stand up to Lady Catherine on her behalf. He had never been more proud of her or loved her more dearly. He suddenly rose to stand beside her, and taking her hand in his, said, “Yes, by all means, Georgie. We must visit her together and renew our friendship as soon as may be. Do you think she is still at the inn?”

“No, Fitzwillliam,” said Georgiana, her eyes now filled with tears, “I believe she returned home as soon as we parted. She had only come to see if a letter had arrived from her sister.”

“Well, then we shall see her later today—perhaps in the children’s garden this afternoon.”

Georgiana’s shocked expression widened Darcy’s grin, and as he bent to kiss her, he whispered, “Sh…our secret.”

Dearest Anne 4B

As Elizabeth Bennet entered the children’s garden of Braemar Castle she was greeted by the welcoming smiles of several of the other nannies and governesses who had come to know and admire her. The children too were fond of her, for she was always willing to give them her attention and took their games and questions most seriously. She stopped here and there to say hello to one lady or another as she made her way to her favorite spot, a shady bench under a large elm whose solid bows bore the weight of several swings— Jonathan’s favorite!

She had bent to admire little Marianne’s doll and, on straightening, noticed Georgiana Darcy already seated on the bench waiting for her. To her great astonishment, she saw Mr. Darcy standing behind his sister, intently watching her approach. She hesitated, casting her eyes down for a moment. Then gathering her courage she raised her chin to look at him, gazing directly into his face. She was instantly rewarded and reassured by what she saw there. In the depths of his dark brown eyes was the warmth and admiration that had held her mesmerized at Pemberley. There was such love and longing there—yet uncertainty, as well. Disconcerted, she knew not what to make of it or how to proceed. She had seen him with Anne and her mind reeled with confusion.

“Miss Darcy, Mr. Darcy, how lovely to see you here,” she said softly. “I hope you’ve not been waiting long?”

“Not at all,” murmured Darcy, not taking his eyes off her for a moment. “It is a pleasure to see you again, Miss Bennet.”

“You see, Miss Bennet, I was right! My brother was so anxious to see you that he insisted on joining us. And we selfishly kept our plans secret from the Colonel so that we could have you and Jonathan all to ourselves,” said Georgiana, bending to smile at the excited little boy balanced on Elizabeth’s hip. “So this is your little man! He is beautiful! And such a happy baby! May I hold him? Do you think he will come to me, Elizabeth?”

“Yes, I think so; he is a very easy-going child. Here, allow me to introduce you,” she said, picking him up in her arms. “Master Jonathan, this is Miss Georgiana Darcy, and she would very much like to play with you. Miss Darcy, this is Jonathan Bennington, who simply adores the swings. Now if you hold him on your lap and push off gently with your feet, he will be happy to stay in your company for some time. That’s right,” said Elizabeth, helping to get them both settled. “He insists on holding onto the ropes himself, so you can just hold onto his little hands.”

“Won’t he slip off, Elizabeth? I’m afraid I’ll drop him!”

“Then I could bind him to you with my sling if you like, but it will wrinkle your gown, I’m afraid.”

“Oh, I don’t mind. I wouldn’t miss this experience for the world! I love to swing myself, you know! Jonathan and I already have a great deal in common,” she laughed.

When the sling was tied tight and the baby was eagerly kicking his little legs, Darcy came to give his sister that first gentle push. Georgiana took up the rhythm with her legs.

“Now that he is tied to you, you needn’t be afraid, Georgiana. You can go as high as you like—the higher the better, as far as Jonathan is concerned,” called Elizabeth.

Darcy watched the precious little scene and his mind raced wildly. What should he say? What should he do? All this anxiety, this suppressed and hidden panic was making his life a misery. He had to know, definitively, where he stood. It was time to take the risk. He had never expected another chance with Elizabeth but he had been blessed with it, and so was determined to make the most of it. No skirting around, no subtle implication, no fear of humiliation. If he was to lose her forever, so be it. He had lived with that devastating thought long enough.



“He’s a little dare-devil then?” asked Darcy, motioning for Elizabeth to come and sit beside him on the bench.

“Yes, his father loves to rough-house with him, so he knows no fear. But then I suppose that is a good thing.”

“Indeed it is—for now,” said Darcy.

They sat in silence for a moment, awkwardly searching for a safe topic of conversation. Elizabeth was grateful that Darcy took the initiative.

“I must say that this fresh Highland air seems to suit you, Miss Bennet. You are looking exceptionally well.”

“Thank you, sir,” she replied, a little embarrassed and uneasy. What is he about? she wondered. He kept Georgiana in the dark about our meeting yesterday, and yet now he is here paying me the most particular attention. Remembering that dreadful morning, she thought it best to get her apology out of the way.

“Allow me to apologize for running off so quickly the other morning, Mr. Darcy. It was terribly rude of me, and I…”

“But of course you had to get inside and out from the sun. You were clearly overheated and near exhaustion. I hope you retreated to your room and rested a while, Miss Bennet. The Colonel and I were very concerned about you,” he said, the warmth of his smile only increasing the thoughtfulness of his words.

“You are most generous, Mr. Darcy,” she replied, looking away in embarrassment.

“I must say that I find you looking quite a bit thinner, Sir. I hope you’ve not been ill?” she said with genuine concern.

“No, no! I’ve not been ill, though under some strain, perhaps.”

She looked at him questioningly, but he did not elaborate. Instead, he took a letter out of his pocket, unfolded it and said, “I had a letter from Charles Bingley just before we left town, and I happened to have left it in my coat pocket. I thought you might find this part amusing.” He looked at her as if to ask her permission to begin, and she nodded, a bit stunned, but obviously eager to have him read it.

“Ah, yes, this is the part I thought you’d enjoy:”

My dearest Jane is even more of an angel than I first imagined! I find that I love her more each day and cannot understand how this is possible. Is there any other man in England as happy as I? Were it not for the daily visits of my mother-in-law, I would think we were living a dream. We have actually begun to talk of finding an estate a bit farther from Longbourn. I suggested Derbyshire, but Jane felt it was too far.”

Elizabeth’s lips parted in astonishment. Her face paled.

“Have I offended you, Miss Bennet? Perhaps it was wrong of me to share such a private letter. But Georgiana mentioned that you were awaiting news from Netherfield, and I thought that Bingley’s expressions of love for your sister would gladden your heart. If I’ve upset you, I am deeply sorry. I had hoped to amuse you and instead have made you uncomfortable. Please forgive me,” he said, inwardly raging at his stupidity.

“Not at all, Mr. Darcy,” she replied, inadvertently bringing her hand to rest on his sleeve. “It warmed my heart to hear it, and I did find it amusing until you came to the part about Derbyshire.” Here Elizabeth looked directly at him, her eyes moist. “Please don’t encourage him to take my sister so far away from me, Mr. Darcy,” she whispered. He felt his stomach tighten.

“I promise you I shall not, Miss Bennet,” he said, covering her hand with his.

She startled and drew away from him, pretending to search for a handkerchief with which to wipe her tears. He offered his, and she accepted it.

“Elizabeth,” he now murmured, moving closer. “I cannot let this opportunity slip away without asking you directly if you have, with the passing of these many months, been able forgive me…even a little. Do you think that you could ever find it in your heart to do so? I know I am to blame for your family’s misfortunes and wish you to believe that not a day goes by that I do not regret my selfishness. I wholeheartedly accept my culpability in the matter. But my feelings for you have not changed. If anything, they have deepened and I must know from your own lips whether there is still a chance that you could consider...” There he stopped, for the look on her face stunned him, and he was afraid of what was to come.

“But Anne! I saw you with Anne. I thought that surely you were to wed. You cannot deny your strong feelings for her! I saw you together!” said Elizabeth accusingly. Darcy’s look of surprise and subsequent amusement confounded her further, but made her realize with horror the impertinence of what she had just said. Though deeply embarrassed, she kept her eyes intently fixed on his, waiting for his reply.

“Yes, you are quite right, Miss Bennet. I have come to genuinely love Anne—but only as a sister, a cousin, a dear friend. You see, it is only recently that I have come to appreciate what a wonderful person she is—nothing at all like she would have us believe. Her silence and disinterestedness are a sham to prevent her from clashing with her mother. You must believe me, Elizabeth; it is you that I love, you that I need, you that want for my wife!”

Elizabeth’s lips trembled as she shook her head in disbelief. “How could you leave me then and keep your distance all these months? Had we not met here so unexpectedly, would you have sought me out again? I think not, Mr. Darcy.”

Darcy felt suddenly ill. The conversation had taken a painfully dangerous turn and he knew that their happiness depended on his answer. He took her trembling hand in his and pressed it. “You are right, Elizabeth. I left Hertfordshire too quickly—too impetuously. But when I saw you that horrid afternoon, you did not seem at all happy to see me. Indeed, you would not allow me to catch your eye. You turned anxiously away and made no attempt to speak to me. I felt foolish for even returning! I literally ran from Hertfordshire believing you wanted nothing more to do with me and only stayed away because I believed it was what you wanted. Please tell me it isn’t so!”

She gasped, her breaths coming in short spurts now, her head shaking ever so slightly. “I…I was very nervous about seeing you; it is true. But what else could I have been?” Her eyes searched his for understanding. “I alone knew to what lengths you had gone to save my sister’s reputation, and I was at once both grateful and ashamed.” He grimaced, but said nothing to interrupt her. “What I could not know was how you, yourself, felt about associating with my family. I could not bear to face you—not directly. And after your aunt’s admonitions, I was sure you had been forced to give me up—whatever your feelings.”

“My aunt’s admonitions?” said Darcy more loudly than he had intended. They both glanced quickly about to see if they had drawn attention to themselves, but only Georgiana had looked up at them. She immediately turned her attention back to the baby, pretending not to hear, singing to him softly as they swung together.

“My aunt wrote to you?” Darcy inquired with a pretense of calm.

“She paid me an unexpected visit,” replied Elizabeth. “Did she not tell you that she had come to see me?”

“No! I knew nothing of it…till now. I cannot believe…” he began to say, and then, “…oh, yes I can! Good G-d, what horrid things did she say to frighten you off?” True understanding now dawned in his eyes. “So you believed that I had relinquished your love for the sake of my family and only returned to make amends to your sister! Elizabeth!” he said, nearly overcome with emotion, “I’ve been such a fool!”

“Oh dear!” came Georgiana’s sudden cry. “Fitzwilliam, look!”

They both turned to see Lady Catherine de Bourgh rushing towards them, making no attempt to hide her very great displeasure. “Fitzwilliam! Georgiana!” she cried. “You are needed immediately. Come at once! Your uncle wishes to make a short tour before dinner and everyone is assembled and waiting for you!”

“This is most sudden Aunt!” said Darcy, indignant and extremely irritated.

“Don’t argue, Darcy! Just come away this instant! Georgiana, relieve yourself of that child and come with me at once!”

Elizabeth instinctively rose to assist Georgiana, but Darcy stayed her hand. “Miss Bennet,” he now said loudly enough for his aunt to hear, “It seems I am needed by my family and must leave you for now. But pray, would you be so kind as to grant me an interview tomorrow morning? There is something very particular I wish to ask you—after breakfast, perhaps, when you’ve returned from your rambles?”

Elizabeth cast nervous glances at both Georgiana and Lady Catherine. Then summoning her courage once again, she straightened and replied, “Of course, Mr. Darcy. That would be a most convenient time.” She smiled shyly and blushed. Turning to Georgiana, whose cheeks were crimson with humiliation, she simply said, “Enjoy your outing, Miss Darcy. It has been a lovely afternoon and I hope we shall have the opportunity to do it again.”

Georgiana let out a happy sigh and came towards Elizabeth to kiss her. “Thank you Miss Bennet, I look forward to it very much.” And with that she handed Jonathan back to her and took her brother’s arm. Grinning broadly, brother and sister followed a seething Lady Catherine out of the garden. <

Dearest Anne Chapter 5

On peering into the carriage it became instantly clear to Darcy that this “short tour” had been arranged for certain members of the family only, and that he and Georgiana were the obligatory, if not the honorary, guests. Therefore, with no intention of allowing his aunts to distress his sister with their threats and accusations, he backed away, turned round to her and said, “Georgie, I think you should fetch a warm shawl from your room; the weather is turning cooler.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Darcy!” put in Aunt Matlock, “It won’t cool off until much later this afternoon, and we will surely be back by then.”

“I insist, Georgiana,” he responded sternly, placing himself between his sister and the carriage in such a way as to block the view of those inside. “Find Richard and remain with him,” he whispered. “Do not return!”

Georgiana stared at him incredulously for a moment, but noting his unyielding countenance, nodded, whirled herself about, and hastily made her way towards the inn. The passengers in the coach gawked at the sight of her fleeing, but Darcy paid them no mind and took that awkward moment to hop inside, close the door and signal the driver to be off.

“Now we may proceed,” he declared, settling back on the seat beside his uncle and struggling to remain calm. “And since this little excursion was especially planned for my benefit, I see no reason why Georgiana should be troubled by what is said here this afternoon. I insist that she be spared any future unpleasantness, whatever your frustration or anger with me!” His eyes blazed.

“We see things quite differently, Darcy!” retorted his Aunt Catherine with disdain. “Georgiana is directly affected by your irresponsible behavior and should know how recklessly you are tampering with her future happiness.”

“Tampering with her future happiness?” repeated Darcy indignantly. “That is rich, Aunt—even for you! Pray tell how I am tampering with her future happiness by offering to Miss Bennet? Georgiana greatly admires her and has become genuinely attached to her after only a very short acquaintance. Why, she is as anxious to have Elizabeth for a sister as I am to have her for my wife!” he said passionately.

Having blurted out this news in such a tactless manner, Darcy immediately felt some remorse. He saw that his words had struck a painful chord with his aunt and was sorry to have crushed her long-standing dream so callously. He now softened his expression as well as his tone.

“Dear Aunt, forgive me for thrusting this upon you so suddenly…but surely you must know that Anne and I have never had more than familial affection for one another. Indeed, we are only now becoming close friends and coming to a true understanding of each other’s feelings. Anne has no desire to be my wife, and, forgive me for saying so, Aunt, but I have never taken this supposed engagement seriously. On the contrary, I have always believed that my parents wished me to marry a woman of my own choosing—their own happy marriage setting the example for me to emulate.”

On hearing these words, Lady Catherine was stunned into uncharacteristic silence and sat fuming as Lady Matlock took up the petition.

“My dearest boy, your future happiness is precisely what concerns us. We can well understand your present infatuation with this young woman … but such feelings diminish with time and familiarity, and it is then that true compatibility becomes crucial and determines the strength of a marriage. From what I understand, this young woman’s family has virtually no standing in good society—her father having married far beneath him, bringing all sorts of undeserving people into the family. What is more, there is no wealth there—nothing that can be offered towards the upkeep and advancement of Pemberley. And worst of all is that ruinous scandal concerning her younger sister! You cannot be serious in considering such a woman as the future Mistress of Pemberley? Surely your dear parents would not approve of such a match!”

“Indeed, you have always shared our feelings on these matters, Darcy,” interrupted his uncle, gently pressing his arm. “I am shocked to hear of your unorthodox choice. She may be a charming little wench, my boy, but is she worthy of carrying the Darcy name—of being mother to your children? If you and Anne have no amorous feelings for one another, then choose another,” said the Earl, casting an apologetic glance at his sister, “but do not disgrace the entire family and perhaps ruin your sister’s chances of making a match truly worthy of her station in life.”

“If my sister is fortunate enough to find a man whose love for her is as pure and genuine as I believe Miss Bennet’s is for me,” said Darcy, “she will be making an exceptional match indeed! And should a prospective suitor’s affections be so fleeting as to be put off by my marriage, I believe Georgiana would lose all regard for him.

You are, however, correct in believing, Uncle, that I once shared your belief in the importance of rank and fortune in marriage. But over the past year I have come to a deeper understanding of what is important to me — and what I require in a wife. Miss Bennet is the only woman who has met … nay, exceeded these ideals and who has unwittingly stolen my heart. I cannot do without her and I have no intention of trying to do so! By tomorrow morning Miss Elizabeth Bennet will be my intended,” he said softly, but firmly, “and I sincerely hope that you can all reconcile yourselves to that fact. It would sadden me to lose your affection and esteem, but I will not trade my future happiness for your approval. Now, as this discussion is over, I wish you would excuse me,” said Darcy, tapping the roof of the coach with his cane and signaling the driver to stop. He opened the door and jumped out even before the coachman could sufficiently slow the team. “I shall see you back at the inn,” he said, now walking along beside them. “Perhaps the walk back will help to tame the beast presently residing within my chest!”

***

Darcy had wanted to put Georgiana’s mind at ease immediately upon his return—to reassure her that all was well between himself and the family, but as she was dressing for dinner when he arrived, the discussion had to be postponed. He bathed and dressed in haste, making certain that he would be in time to intercept her before she ventured down to the dining room. Had his aunts heeded his demand concerning Georgiana, he wondered, or had they involved her after all?

Throughout his preparations his thoughts alternated between his sister and his beloved Elizabeth. Instinct told him to search her out this very evening—not to wait another moment! The morning seemed so far away and with the keen disapproval of his family he felt the need to secure the union as soon as possible. He checked the time as he slipped his watch into his pocket. Should he, perhaps, try and see her now, before meeting with any his relations again? Noting the hour, however, he realized that Elizabeth would be greatly occupied with the care of the child. After dinner then, he determined. He would suffer through the meal, make his excuses and cross the gardens. The realization that this was not the first time that he had fled his aunt’s company to ask for Elizabeth’s hand unnerved him for a moment, but the memory of that painful day only strengthened his resolve. Elizabeth loved him! He was certain of it now.

With Georgiana forewarned and his cousins enlisted to keep the conversation light and easy, Darcy sat through an agonizingly long meal, at the end of which, he found himself obliged to remain with the family for the rest of the evening! His uncle had organized an evening of chess and billiards with several other gentlemen, including Sir Robert, and Darcy could find no diplomatic way of refusing to participate. It was unbelievably frustrating! He suspected that it had all been intentionally arranged to keep him at the inn for the night, but however suspect the motivation, he could not dishonor his uncle by deserting him. And so he drank his port, smoked his cigars and did his best to keep his focus on whatever game was being played.

***

While the gentlemen were thus engaged, the ladies sat in the music room listening to Georgiana as she worked on sections of the Mozart piano concerto she was currently studying. When she tired of practicing, Aunt Matlock suggested they continue their reading of the novel Anne had brought along, and the two young women made themselves comfortable on the settee beside their aunts. Lady Matlock read with great expression, and as she listened, Georgiana thought fondly of the times that she had been ill as a child, and of the great comfort her aunt’s voice had brought her. Lady Matlock had done what she could at such times to substitute for her dear departed sister and bestow some motherly affection on her niece, and in return, she had won Georgiana’s love and devotion. A rift between them would be truly painful, but her love for Fitzwilliam and her growing fondness for Elizabeth overshadowed all. Not since Ramsgate had she felt so anxious and apprehensive! Yet now, as then, she knew that her allegiance lay with her brother.

The ladies took turns reading aloud until aunt Catherine declared it too late for Anne to be up and insisted that the younger ladies go to bed. As had become their little ritual, Georgiana and Anne made a show of protesting— but being secretly happy to be gaining their freedom, rose obediently and said their good nights. After preparing themselves for bed, they would ring for some hot chocolate and sneak into one or the other of their rooms where they would talk and joke until all hours of the morning. On this particular evening they met in Georgiana’s bedchamber, in the event that her brother wished to speak to her before retiring.

By one in the morning, with her eyelids fighting to remain open, Anne kissed Georgiana good night and headed for her own room. As usual, she chose to cross the attached balconies, thereby avoiding being seen in the corridor. And as the night was so mild and filled with brilliant stars, she lingered a bit outside her door, enjoying the quiet and the rose-scented air. The doors to Lady Catherine’s room, on the other side, were slightly ajar, and Anne quickly realized that her mother was not alone. The sound of her ladyship’s voice drifted out to her.

“You must realize that this may very likely have a negative effect on Richard’s chances as well. It is not only poor Georgiana and my dear Anne who will suffer from his selfishness.”

“Richard?” Anne heard her uncle say, “How could he be affected by Fitzwilliam’s choice?”

Oh, really, brother!” replied Lady Catherine impatiently. “Do you not realize the advantage Richard has in his tight kinship with Darcy? That the entire ton knows they are as thick as brothers and that Richard feels as much at home at Darcy’s as he does in his own home? Why he comes and goes as he pleases while in town! The prospect of being able to spend some months at Pemberley each year and part of the Season in town with the Darcys would certainly be an inducement to any young lady to connect herself with our family.”

The Earl shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I would hope, Sister, that the young lady destined to be my daughter-in-law would have more passionate reasons for choosing my son as her husband! He may not be my first-born, but he is handsome, witty and very clever— and when he puts his mind to it, his manners are impeccable! I believe that in essentials, he is perhaps a better catch than his brother. A young woman would never want for affection or amusement with Richard!”

“Do not take offense, brother, but think only that the lady involved would not be making the decision to marry on her own! Her parents would wish to make an advantageous alliance for her, and a close connection with Darcy would be but one more incentive. Of course, Darcy’s casting off good society in favor of this strumpet would not please any respectable family!”

“That is true,” murmured Lady Matlock just loud enough for Anne to hear. “But what are we to do, Sister? Darcy seems determined to have this Miss Bennet and he is, after all, of an age that makes it difficult for us to demand his compliance. He is financially independent, and obviously willing to risk the damage to his reputation. I don’t see what chance we have of persuading him to reconsider.”

“There is but one predicament that would give him pause to rethink his shameful proposal, Sister, …and that is the loss of his guardianship over Georgiana. You and I have often discussed the unsuitability of a young, unmarried man being responsible for a young woman about to come out into society. And with this flagrant disregard of his duty to his family, any responsible magistrate would agree that he should lose such a privilege.”

“Isn’t that taking things a bit far?” said the Earl, obviously uneasy with the idea.

‘To secure the honor of this family and safeguard the happiness of all our children, I think it is wholly justified, Brother! Are we to let Darcy’s infatuation with this girl play havoc with the lives of so many? I think not! It is our duty to protect Georgiana. Our sister Anne would expect nothing less.”

“But as soon as we give him such an ultimatum, he will surely take Georgiana and flee. He will not take such a threat lightly and may hide her away from us for G-d only knows how long! By then he may have married this Miss Bennet and the damage will have been done,” said Lady Matlock.

“And that is why we must act immediately—tonight, before we even inform him of our intentions! When Darcy wakes tomorrow morning, long before he has had the chance to disgrace himself with this woman, he will find his sister gone and his choices clearly laid out before him. He will have no other choice but to abide by our wishes! And once bound by the honor of his word, our nephew will not renege on his pledge.”

“But what of Georgiana, Sister? She will be convinced that her brother is being forced to sacrifice his own happiness for hers, and that will not sit well with her. You know how completely devoted she is to him! What effect will this have on her? She is only now overcoming a little of her shyness.”

“She trusts you best, Sister, so it will be your task to persuade her that all this is being done for the eventual happiness of her brother as well as her own. You and my brother need only take her away for a day or two. I am certain that this will be resolved as soon as Darcy understands that we have the upper hand. Our nephew is no fool.”

“Well,” said Lady Matlock, hesitantly, “I suppose if there is no alternative … and the time element is such that …”

Anne did not wait to hear anything more. She flew into her own room and then out into the corridor. Within a moment, she was standing before Darcy’s valet, who though bleary-eyed, was clearly embarrassed at the sight of her in her nightclothes.

“Forgive me, Miss de Bourgh,” he said in a whisper, casting his eyes to the floor, “but Master Darcy is abed and very likely already asleep.”

“Then wake him! Do it quickly before I come in and do it myself! This is an emergency, and you are wasting precious time!”

As soon as Darcy understood the situation, he ordered his man to wake the Colonel and to pack a small satchel of essentials for him. Anne was dispatched to rouse Georgiana and do the same, while he made his way out to the stables through the servants’ entrance. He led two horses quietly down a side road, murmuring soothingly to them as he went, and before fifteen minutes had passed, he was helping his sister mount the horse they would share for the journey. Bending to press Anne’s hand, he said, “You must explain my sudden departure to Elizabeth, Anne! I could not take the time to write. Promise me! She must not be left to believe that I have deserted her yet again!” he pleaded.

“You have my word, Fitzwilliam. May G-d be with you! I fear for your travel in the dark.”

“The moon is blessedly full tonight and we will travel cautiously only to the next hamlet and wait there till dawn to proceed. I should be back in a few days. Assure Elizabeth that I love her!”

Chapter 6

Elizabeth sat gazing at her own image as Betsy carefully arranged and pinned each cascading curl from the crown of her head. Completely unaccustomed to such tasks, Betsy struggled to please, wishing that she had actually seen how Miss Elizabeth’s hair had been styled for the ball she kept referring to.

“And I also found the loveliest white flowers that we interlaced here and there—but then, it was a rather formal occasion,” said Elizabeth, encouraging the young woman with an approving smile.

“You must have looked very beautiful, Miss Elizabeth,” said Betsy.

“Oh no, not beautiful! I would save that description for my sister Jane. But I did feel rather pretty that evening and I believe there were others who thought so, too.” Elizabeth blushed at the thought of Fitzwilliam’s face—so painfully rigid and unreadable as he asked her to dance. Never before had she considered the courage it must have taken him to approach her with Charlotte there to witness his possible humiliation, had she refused him.

Did he have feelings for me even then, she wondered.

She had misjudged Fitzwilliam Darcy from the first and had continued to misunderstand him even after all that had passed between them at Pemberley. Truly, she did not deserve his love and was finding it difficult to believe that he could still want her! Lady Catherine’s disapproval was certain, but what other sacrifices would he have to make? Though these worries gnawed at her, Elizabeth was determined to ignore them. If Fitzwilliam’s love was strong enough to withstand such censure, she would have to find the courage to forgive her own foolishness and allow herself to be happy. Yet even now, she pinched herself to see if it were really true! Had this miraculous day really come?

The gown she had chosen to wear was too formal for a morning’s walk in the garden, but all the others had gone through countless washings to remove the stains that Jonathan had inflicted on them—and she would not accept Fitzwilliam Darcy in a shabby gown! Would he realize that she was dressed just as she had been at the Netherfield ball? She laughed at herself. After all that they had both suffered, how could any of this matter!

Too nervous to eat, she now sat at the breakfast table with Sir Robert and sipped her tea, attempting to answer his questions in an easygoing manner.

“You’re looking especially lovely this morning, Elizabeth,” he said, eyeing her thoughtfully. “Would that this fuss were for me…but I dare say it is not. Pray tell me, has royalty arrived at the inn?”

“I’m to meet Miss Darcy for a walk, Sir Robert; that is all. My other gowns were so stained that I decided to wear this one. It is a bit fussy for a stroll in the gardens, I know. Do I look terribly silly?” she asked, laughing lightly. “Do you think Miss Darcy will realize that I am wearing my very best when she dresses in such finery every day?”

“And is that why you didn’t take your morning ramble? I thought you might be ill when I heard that you were still in your room. Will Miss Darcy be coming here to fetch you?”

“Oh,” stammered Elizabeth, suddenly flustered. “I don’t know. I don’t think so—though we didn’t specify where we were to meet. But it is still early,” she finally said with conviction. “I shall wait here for a while and then meander over to meet her.”

“Excellent! Then I shall have the pleasure of your company a little while longer; I wanted to talk to you this morning. Come dine with me at the inn this afternoon. I have some happy news to relate and will abide no distractions from children or servants. What do you say to one o’clock? Surely your visit with Miss Darcy will have ended by then?”

“I would be happy to,” said Elizabeth, hesitantly, “if only I were certain that Miss Darcy didn’t expect me to dine with her and her brother. I believe she said something to that effect when we first made the arrangement. I would not wish to keep you waiting.”

“Elizabeth,” he now said, looking intently at her, “why is it that despite your physical presence here, I feel as if I have already lost you?”

“I suppose it is because you know my time here is at an end,” she replied, not daring to look at him as she spoke.

“Well, don’t pack your trunks just yet, my sweet—not before you hear my news!” he grinned and then drained his cup.

Surprised and a bit uneasy at this pronouncement, Elizabeth asked, “Well, won’t you tell me what it is now? I shan’t be rushing off just yet.”

“No, I want us to be sharing a fine bottle of wine and enjoying a good meal when I make my news known. I wish to savour the moment and the look on your face! You will not cheat me of that, my dear Miss Bennet!”

“Very well, I shall try to keep our appointment, but I cannot promise, you understand. I will, of course send word to you if I cannot come,” said Elizabeth, rising from her chair. “Now if you will excuse me, I have some instructions for Betsy concerning Jonathan.”

After briefly visiting the nursery, Elizabeth wandered about the house, avoiding Sir Robert, but making certain that she had a view of the gardens, should Mr. Darcy approach. The plan for their rendezvous had not been explicit, but she felt it only natural that he would come for her. She waited and paced—then waited and paced some more. Finally, she sat and tried to read a little, anxiously peering out at the gardens every now and then and becoming more and more anxious as the morning wore on. An hour passed, then another, and by eleven o’clock she felt herself close to tears. Where was he? Had he not said that he would see her after her morning ramble? She had not expected him to know the exact time of her return, but surely he had meant before noon! The sun was now directly overhead and the morning would soon be over. Had she misunderstood him? Had she only dreamt yesterday’s miraculous events?

Ruminating on these thoughts, she was suddenly startled by Sir Robert as he passed her, deep in conversation with his steward.

“Ah, Miss Bennet,” he said, stressing her family name. He was always so ridiculously proud of himself when he remembered not to call her Elizabeth. “Are you back from your walk already? That is good news!”

“Oh, no sir. Miss Darcy was delayed and I am just now going to join her. Please excuse me,” she said curtsying and hastily making her escape. She had no choice now but to head towards the inn, as embarrassing as that would be! What else could she do? Her mind raced. Where was Fitzwilliam? And why was he putting her in this terrible predicament?

Before she knew it she was at the front entrance, smiling at those who greeted her and wishing that she could become invisible! Her face felt hot and flushed, and she was certain that everyone could read her thoughts and see directly into her heart. She prayed she would not run into Fitzwilliam now.

“Have you come for the post, Miss Elizabeth?” came the familiar voice from behind the front desk.

“Oh, yes! Thank you, Mr. Simmons,” she said, grateful to have been offered a logical explanation for being there. “Has a letter arrived from Hertfordshire?”

“Yes indeed! But Sir Robert picked it up himself early this morning, Miss.”

“That is odd; he did not pass it on to me,” replied Elizabeth, a bit bewildered.

“It wasn’t addressed to you, Miss. That particular letter was addressed to him, but this one from London bears your name.”

Elizabeth took the missive and saw immediately that it was from her Aunt Gardiner. Nodding her appreciation, she curtsied and was about to leave when she turned back and asked, “I was hoping to run into Miss Darcy this morning. Is she perhaps in the dining room with her family?”

“Miss Darcy? Oh no, Ma’am! The Darcys left Braemar very early this morning! The Matlocks and de Bourghs will remain as planned, I believe, but the Darcys have gone. I can’t imagine why they left so suddenly, but it must have been a matter of some urgency. They departed even before the morning fires were lit.”

Elizabeth felt her very breath being violently sucked from her body. In desperate need of air, she gasped and steadied herself against the counter. It wasn’t possible! … Had Fitzwilliam fled? Had he run from her yet again and without a word? She clutched her trembling hands to her heart and dared to inquire, “Did Miss Darcy leave a message for me, by chance? We had planned an outing today.”

“No, Miss Elizabeth. I’m terribly sorry, but there were no messages at all.”

*****

Anne de Bourgh had been locked in her room all morning and a footman had been stationed outside her balcony door to ensure she would neither escape nor communicate with anyone. Lady Catherine’s fury had made her suspicious even of Anne, and when, upon questioning her daughter most severely her Ladyship had noted a subtle tone of defiance, she lost her temper as well as her reason. Lady Matlock had come to Anne’s defense, insisting that no matter what had transpired before his departure, Darcy’s decision to leave was his own and that Anne could not be held responsible. Indeed, if anyone was to blame, it had to be Richard, for he had accompanied Darcy, perhaps even encouraged him, betraying both his parents. Nevertheless, Lady Catherine was adamant that Anne be secluded and not given the opportunity to converse with that mercenary wench who was about to ruin them all!

Anne had been served breakfast in her room, but the Earl, now deeply disturbed by the machinations that had come to mar his special holiday, demanded that his niece be allowed to dine with what remained of his family. The other guests were already gossiping about the strange behavior of his clan and he was not about to add fuel to the fire. So it was that Anne de Bourgh, flanked by her mother and her aunt, descended the stairs, just as Elizabeth was trying to regain enough composure to leave the inn. Their eyes met, and Anne, desperate to convey her cousin’s message, looked longingly at Elizabeth. Elizabeth, attuned only to her own anguish, read mocking contempt in the intensity of her gaze and walked past her with as much dignity as she could manage.

She had taken only a few steps and was almost at the threshold of the entrance when Sir Robert bounded towards her. Seeing the expression on her face, he took her arm and led her out onto the portico. At that moment, she could not have been more grateful for his rescue. Part of her wished to flee to the solitude of her room, while the other ached to collapse into the safety of his arms. Yet pride determined her course of action. Looking away from him towards the mountains— and trying desperately not to cry—she murmured, “It seems Miss Darcy and her brother have left Braemar. I imagine she forgot all about our little outing.”

“The very rich can be so thoughtless!” murmured Sir Robert, pressing her hand. “I can see you are sorely disappointed and much offended, Elizabeth, but don’t take her neglect so to heart. She is not worth your tears.”

It was only then that Elizabeth realized that the tears she had been trying so desperately to control had found their own way down her cheeks.

“Oh no! You must not think so meanly of her!” said Elizabeth, horrified at attributing anything unkind to Georgiana. “She is normally the sweetest and most thoughtful of young women. I am sure that there were circumstances which she could not control.”

“As always, it is you who are too kind and generous! But come, dry your eyes and allow me to brighten your somber mood. I have arranged for a quiet table by the window, and a few sips of that wonderful wine I ordered will do you a world of good just now.” He gently grasped her elbow and attempted to lead her back inside.

“I must go home, Sir Robert, please! Allow me to leave without a fuss. I am in no condition to be seen by anyone and cannot imagine sitting in a dining room full with people. Please let me go. We can have our talk later.”

“Elizabeth,” said Sir Robert in the gentlest of voices, “at this very moment, no less than ten people, the Matlocks and de Bourghs included, are whispering about what could have possibly upset you so! If we are to stop their gossiping you must remain here and disappoint them with a show of strength. I have an excellent excuse for your tears if you would but add a little smile to your countenance. Trust me, Elizabeth, and all will be well. Though my news is of the happiest kind, a few tears would not be an inappropriate response to it, and you can save face with very little effort. Come,” he said, handing her his handkerchief, “you know I would do nothing to hurt or embarrass you.”

Feeling numb and completely helpless, Elizabeth dabbed at her eyes and allowed Sir Robert to lead her into the dining room. He, himself, pushed in her chair and immediately poured her half a glass of wine. She waited for him to be seated and to serve himself before taking several sips and smiling awkwardly back at him.

“Thank you, Sir Robert. As always, you are too good to me. I know that displaying a little dignity just now is the right thing to do, but I would not be capable of it on my own.”

He smiled lovingly at her, pulled a letter from his breast pocket and handed it to her. “This should make you genuinely happy!” he said.

She immediately recognized her father’s hand and unfolding the missive, eagerly drank in his words. Sir Robert had been right! A few tears would not be inappropriate! But it was the last thing in the world she would have wanted—especially now! How could she bear to remain here yet another month, entertaining her family and pretending that everything was right with the world? No! This was dreadful news! Dreadful, horrible news!

“It was very thoughtful of you to invite them,” she murmured, trying her best to keep a happy countenance. But the muscles about her mouth and eyes refused to produce the expression she wished to present to him. In her emotional state she was too upset to notice that all eyes had shifted from her to a commotion at a larger table in the middle of the room.

“I WILL NOT SIT DOWN! I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO THE PROPRIEITOR THIS INSTANT! WHAT SORT OF ESTABLISHMENT IS THIS TO ALLOW SUCH GOINGS ON?” Lady Catherine’s booming voice suddenly broke through the fog of Elizabeth’s mind, and she became aware that her Ladyship was staring directly at her!

Mr. Simmons was hastily summoned, and was now bowing and scraping before Lady Catherine, asking what he could possibly do to be of service to her.

“I am not accustomed to dining with my servants!” she loudly declared. “And I will not share this dining room with the servants of others! Why is that woman allowed to sit among us?” she said with venomous disdain, still glaring at Elizabeth. “She is a common nanny and has no business mingling with unsuspecting ladies and gentlemen. I want her removed immediately or my family shall depart and spread the word that this is no place for people of good breeding to spend their holidays!”

Anne brought her hand to her mouth, while her uncle’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. Sir Robert was already out of his seat and striding towards her Ladyship when Elizabeth cried out, “Sir Robert, no! Please don’t!” Indeed, even the walls of the dining room seemed to lean in to hear his words.

“I beg your pardon, Madam?” he said indignantly. “You have insulted the lovely lady with whom I am dining and I demand that you apologize to her at once! Miss Elizabeth Bennet is no hired servant, but even if she were, it would be no concern of yours. It is I who am enjoying her company and you, Madam, have not been invited to our table!” His eyes blazed as he stared at her Ladyship with obvious revulsion.

“If she is not your servant, Sir Robert, then I wonder what function she serves in your household!” retorted Lady Catherine, completely unaffected by his penetrating stare. “Is she so close a relation that she can reside in your home for months on end without another lady or a chaperone present? I can well understand your gallant defense of her when she is clearly so important to your personal happiness, sir—you a widower, unable to keep proper company before your year of mourning is out!” Lady Catherine lifted her chin still higher, clearly proud of her performance.

Enraged, Sir Robert instinctively raised his hand to strike her, then quickly lowered it again as the entire room let out an audible sigh of relief. A guttural growl escaped his lips. “If you were a man I would call you out, Madam! As it is, there is no need for me to disgrace you or prove you wrong. You have done that well enough yourself! Anyone who knows the character of Miss Elizabeth Bennet and the charity with which …”

Elizabeth could not bear to listen to another word. With everyone focused on Sir Robert, she backed herself against the wall and quietly made her way out of the dining room and into the open air. Though feeling faint, she willed her feet to move her forward through the garden.

Anne now saw her opportunity as well, and easing herself from her chair, inconspicuously left the room to run after Elizabeth. She had great difficulty in doing so, however, as her limited breath was being spent on choking back her sobs.

“Miss Bennet, wait! Please! I must speak to you. I cannot run as fast as you. Please stop! I beg you!”

Elizabeth heard the faint plea but did not stop to acknowledge it or even determine its source. She had to get to her room, to the few necessities she would pack before fleeing this awful place. She wished to be away even before Sir Robert returned, and although she knew it was impossible to accomplish, she was determined to try. She could not face anyone! Not even him!

“Please, Miss Bennet! Elizabeth! I have a message from my cousin! Please stop and wait for me! Please.”

At these words, Elizabeth whirled about and shouted back indignantly, “Forgive me for not making it easier for you to further humiliate me, Miss de Bourgh! And as for your cousin, if he has something to say to me, let him do it to my face! I don’t wish to hear his words from you!” And with that Elizabeth ran on.

She had gone only a short distance when she heard an odd thump and a muffled cry. In a sudden panic, she turned to see Anne de Bourgh lying very still on the ground, some thirty yards away.

“Dear G-d, what have I done!” she murmured as she ran back towards Anne’s lifeless form. “Why did I allow her chase me? Oh G-d, please, let her be all right!”

She could see that Anne’s left foot had caught and twisted on a root, and as she lowered herself to Anne’s side, she noted a trickle of blood oozing from a cut on her forehead. Silently weeping and murmuring Anne’s name, Elizabeth gently dislodged the foot and seated herself on the ground to lift Anne’s head onto her lap. Stroking the hair away from the wound, she continued to call her name.

“Anne, please wake up. Open your eyes and look at me! I am so sorry. I should have stopped; I should have waited. Please, Anne!” she continued to weep, fanning Anne’s face and stroking her brow.

After what seemed like an eternity, Anne de Bourgh opened her eyes and let out a soft moan. On seeing Elizabeth, however, she smiled.

“Oh Miss de Bourgh! Thank G-d you are conscious! I was so frightened! Are you in pain? Does your leg hurt, or your head? Can you see me clearly?” She rattled off one question after another without waiting to hear the response, but then fell silent and simply gazed at the gentle, smiling face looking up at her.

“I much preferred it when you called me Anne. I do so want us to be good friends—close and loving cousins, in fact.”

Elizabeth stared at her in astonishment.

“Miss Bennet, you must believe me! My cousin’s sudden departure from Braemar had nothing to do with you. I have never known a man more deeply in love and devoted than Fitzwilliam is to you. Before he fled, he begged me to deliver this message so you would not suffer any distress or doubt. My mother made it impossible for me to seek you out, however. Please forgive me.”

This little speech seemed to tire Anne considerably, and she closed her eyes for a few moments and took some shallow breaths before continuing. “My family threatened to remove Georgiana from Fitzwilliam’s care and legally revoke his right of guardianship. He felt it would devastate Georgiana to know that she was at the center of such family strife and determined it best to spirit her away before any action could be taken. He promised to return as soon as possible and hoped it would take but a few days. You must understand how difficult it was for him to leave you.”

At these words, Elizabeth felt as though her heart would break. “Why are you being so very kind when I am the means of ruining all your hopes concerning your cousin, Miss de Bourgh? You should despise me, especially now when I’ve treated you so cruelly.”

“I assure you that my motives are purely selfish,” said Anne, grinning up at her. “I know your true nature, Elizabeth Bennet, and with you as the Mistress of Pemberley I at least have a chance of being welcome there. You would not prevent me from seeing either of my cousins, no matter how cruelly my mother treated you.” Here again she paused to rest a moment. “It is true that I love Fitzwilliam; I always have—but only as a cousin…or perhaps the attentive and protective brother I had always longed for—nothing more. You have nothing to fear from me, Miss Bennet, and I have everything to gain by befriending you.”

“You shall always have my friendship, Anne,” said Elizabeth softly, “I misjudged you so terribly when we first met and am thoroughly ashamed for it. Please forgive me for that as well. It seems I am blind to all the goodness around me.”

“There is nothing to forgive. You only saw the side of me I was willing to present. It is I who should beg your forgiveness for being deceitful. But let us dwell no more on that pitiful subject. Do you think you are strong enough to help me up?”

“Oh no, Anne, you mustn’t try to stand! Your ankle is sprained, I am sure. Does it not hurt you? Does it not feel swollen inside your shoe?”

“No, I don’t think so. It is just fine. You see, I can move it easily without any pain.”

“I thought for certain that it was badly sprained,” said Elizabeth, surprised. “But perhaps it would still be best if I went for help. You’ve hit your head and the cut is deep. I hate to leave you, even for a moment, but I shall run as fast as I can.” She looked up suddenly, as if searching for someone and said, “I’d have thought that Sir Robert would have passed here by now. I hope your mother hasn’t injured him.”

They looked at each other seriously for one long moment and then burst into laughter.

Anne insisted on pulling herself up into a sitting position, and by circling one arm about Elizabeth’s shoulder and leaning on her, she managed to stand. Her ankle was the slightest bit tender, but she could put weight on it and preferred to walk back on her own accord. They limped along slowly and talked as they progressed.

“Two years ago at Easter when my cousins were at Rosings, a friend of Fitzwilliam’s stopped by with his sister. They only spent the afternoon with us, but I could easily see that the lady was very passionate about becoming the next Mistress of Pemberley. I sincerely doubted that she had one ounce of passion for my cousin, however, and I was very glad to see that he had no interest in her. I remember thinking that had she succeeded in ensnaring him, I would never have been welcome at Pemberley and Fitzwilliam would be lost to me forever! And had he insisted on my visiting from time to time, she would tolerate me only in his presence. What a vile, scheming creature she was! So you see, Elizabeth, I have very decided opinions concerning the future Mistress of Pemberley!”

“Well, he hasn’t offered to me yet, Anne, so perhaps all this talk is premature,” said Elizabeth, blushing. Who would have thought that she would find such an ally in Anne de Bourgh? She then thought of Caroline Bingley and smiled.

When they finally reached the inn, Sir Robert was just descending the portico steps, and on seeing them, rushed to lift Anne into his arms and bring her inside. Lady Catherine was enraged when she saw this, shouting at Sir Robert to put Anne down and beating him on the back with her reticule. He lowered Anne gently onto a settee, bowed to her and whispered. “You have my deepest sympathy, Miss de Bourgh! I don’t know how you bear it.”

Not raising his eyes to Lady Catherine, he moved swiftly past her through the gathering crowd to where Elizabeth was waiting outside. But her Ladyship was not yet willing to leave well enough alone. Following him out, she saw Elizabeth, her dress soiled and wrinkled, her face tear-stained and her eyes swollen. She immediately assumed the worst.

“What have you done to my child, you vengeful trollop? Anne is no match for you! Have you no shame to strike someone as fragile as my daughter?”

Elizabeth drew herself up to her full height and looked directly at her accuser. “Speak to your daughter, Lady Catherine. She fell, and I simply helped her home— that is all. If I did lay a hand on her, it was only to soothe. Now, if you will excuse me.”

“Not so fast,” hissed her Ladyship. “I warn you again! If you ruin my nephew’s good name by attaching it to yours, I shall make your life utterly miserable. No one in our society will associate with you! You shall not be able to attend the opera or the theater without being sneered at to your face, and no one shall accept your invitations or even acknowledge you in the street. If you insist on capturing the prize, Miss Bennet, you will spend the rest of your life regretting it!”

“I can see that your love for your nephew runs very deep, your Ladyship,” said Elizabeth coldly. “Good day, Lady Catherine.”

*** **

Waiting for Fitzwilliam to return was a torturous business, for Elizabeth thought constantly of Lady Catherine’s threats. She had not taken them so to heart the first time they had been made, but after her Ladyship’s display in the dining room, Elizabeth had no doubt of her ruthlessness. Even if she were willing to endure such public humiliation, did she have the right to inflict it on Fitzwilliam, and through him, Georgiana? Perhaps it would be best for her to end the relationship now and spare them both. Perhaps love was not always enough. And yet her heart ached for him. Now, more than ever, how could she let him go?

***

Darcy reined in his horse and wondered which way to turn. Finding Elizabeth and reassuring himself that all was well between them was his first priority. Yet he reeked of perspiration after so many hours on the road and his damp clothes were covered with a thick layer of dust. How could he propose to Elizabeth in this condition?

His challenge, at the moment, was to enter the inn without being observed. He had left his valet behind, of course, but had instructed him to admit no knowledge of his departure. Finding him now without being seen would not be easy. And he could not chance meeting with any of his relations, save Anne, before he had committed himself to Elizabeth!

He gave his horse to the groom and offered him a few shillings to guide him through the servants’ entrance to his valet’s quarters. Once there, he washed up in a small basin, had himself shaved and changed into fresh clothes fetched from his trunk. Apparently, his things had been packed and his rooms given away—but he would see to that later. Elizabeth was waiting.

***

He found her in the garden, seated on a quilted coverlet under a large elm. Her right hand supported the book she was reading, while her left stroked Jonathan’s back as he slept beside her. He approached her quietly, etching into his memory the precious scene before him.

Suddenly aware of his presence, she looked up, and drawing in a sudden breath of surprise and delight, she smiled. All the anxiety of the past few days melted away as he removed his hat and hurried towards her. She rose to meet him, the glow of her smile warming the very depths of his soul. He held out his hand.

Elizabeth pointed towards Jonathan and beckoned Darcy away from the sleeping child. Once they were several feet away, she stopped and turned to him, her eyes filled with tenderness.

“Was it very awful? Is Georgiana all right?”

“She is distressed, of course, but well. The Colonel will see to it that she is distracted, and I plan to fetch her back again as soon as . . .” He did not wish to verbalize the rest. He wanted only to speak of their future happiness.

“Elizabeth! Oh, forgive me,” he suddenly corrected, “Miss Bennet,” he now said more formally, but with the most adoring grin, “how do I begin to tell you . . .”

She quickly placed her fingers on his lips. “Fitzwilliam, wait! Perhaps these words should not be spoken,” she said softly. “Perhaps, despite our feelings, this marriage is unwise.” Tears moistened her lashes as her hand traveled from his mouth to caress his cheek, then fell forlornly to her side. “It is clear to me now that all your relations disapprove of our union and that we will not be the only ones affected by its repercussions.”

“You cannot be serious?” he said in horror. His brow furrowed, his complexion paled.

“I am sadly very serious,” she whispered, casting her eyes to the ground. “I expected disapproval, but not of the sort that would lead your family to take such extreme measures against you. And I know Lady Catherine’s resentment will not be easily abated. She will use all her influence to hurt you… I cannot bear the thought of it, Fitzwilliam!”

“I am not afraid of my aunt’s influence, nor do I think that the Earl and Lady Matlock will harbor ill feelings for long. They are truly good and loving people, Elizabeth. They have been temporarily manipulated by Lady Catherine’s intimidating ways, but I promise you that once they get to know you . . .”

“But that day may never come!” cried Elizabeth. “She has poisoned your entire family against us and will do the same wherever she goes. Life will never be the same for us, Fitzwilliam. Are you prepared to live in relative rejection and isolation and to subject Georgiana to our fate? Perhaps even our children will feel the effects of Lady Catherine’s resentment. You must know how painful it is for me to say these things, but I have seen the lengths to which she will go for revenge.”

“What more has she done to you?” Darcy asked with terror in his eyes. “What has occurred in my absence?”

“Nothing,” murmured Elizabeth, “nothing that matters any longer. It is done. But I beg you, Fitzwilliam, think carefully on this. It is not a problem that will easily be resolved.”

“No indeed,” he said, now raging and pacing before her. He walked about twisting his ruby ring, turning suddenly, grimacing and pacing some more. He lengthened his stride, wearing a wide crisscross pattern in the grass. Finally he paused, looked soberly and intently into her eyes and said, “Perhaps you are right, Elizabeth. Your fears for our social standing in the community are legitimate, and it will be difficult to live a normal life without the honour and esteem to which we are both accustomed. There are those who will snub us; that is certain, and we may even suffer the loss of many a friend and acquaintance. I can well understand your concern.”

These were the very words she had been agonizing over since his departure, but hearing them now from his lips was a totally different matter. She was crushed. She turned away to avoid his piercing gaze. Her eyes brimming, she hugged herself to stop her trembling.

“I can picture it now,” he was saying, “Christmas at Pemberley, a few years hence—a pathetic scene indeed.” He took a step towards her and began in a whisper. “The music room has been beautifully decorated and the air is scented with roast goose, cinnamon and cloves. Candles line the center of our richly set table, and the tree is magnificent with its tapers, gifts and ornaments! All is ready and there we are, you and I, awaiting guests that may never come.”

Elizabeth swallowed hard at the picture he presented, then startled and drew in breath as she felt his arms slid along the sides of her torso to encircle her waist. He pressed his chest against her back and rested his cheek against hers.

“All is quiet except for the happy chattering of the Gardiner children as they open their gifts before the fire,” he whispered. “Your sister Jane is there to help them, and she laughs at their antics as they hold up their treasures for the little one in her arms to see. Georgiana and Mary are at the piano, of course, filling the room with festive tunes, and perhaps an admirer or two is standing behind them, vying for their attention.

The Earl and your Uncle Gardiner are deeply engrossed in a game of chess, while Charles and Richard discuss the latest news from Parliament. Kitty hangs on the Colonel’s every word. Your father, I am sad to report, is not present. He has been cloistered in our library ever since his arrival at Pemberley, but your mother assures us that he will reemerge when the dinner bell is rung. She, after giving some last-minute instructions to Mrs. Reynolds, joins your dear aunt and mine on the sofa. All three ladies are drawn with beaming exuberance to the newest member of the Darcy family, lovingly held by his Auntie Anne. And all the while, you and I are busy greeting the neighbors and friends who have joyfully accepted our invitation for Christmas dinner. It is a very sad scene indeed!”

Elizabeth twisted round to look at him, her cheek brushing his.

“Don’t tease me, Fitzwilliam,” she whispered, her tears flowing freely now, her eyes filled with love.

“Why ever not? My beloved has instructed me to practice these sorts of social skills, and she is the cleverest tease in all of England.”

“How I love you, Fitzwilliam Darcy!”

“Do you not see, Elizabeth? The people we care for most in the world love and admire us in return. Georgiana, Richard and Anne are the family members that matter most to me, and they already adore you. The Matlocks will come round, I am sure. But even if they do not, we shall live our lives very happily without them. Now, I am not certain that your mother will ever approve of me,” he quipped, “but all I need is you to make me happy.”

“And I you!” she breathed.

“So now, Miss Elizabeth Bennet,” he said, turning to face her squarely, “will you allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you?”