Posted on 2017-05-23
Blurb :
Mr: Collins and his love for potatoes has deathly consequences. Short vignette. Epilogue abbey.
On the morning of the Netherfield ball the inhabitants of Longbourn gathered to break their fast and discuss the latest events of that marvelous night. Jane's success, music, dances, food, dresses and lace were thoroughly discussed to Mr. Bennet's great displeasure and most of all to Elizabeth's discomfort. She could not forget her embarrassment at her mother's loud remarks, her sister's behavior and her father's indolence. Her only source of relief was Jane's happiness.
"Indeed, the repast was of the highest quality but the potatoes were no match to these in front of us, my dear Mrs. Bennet. I do hope that the future mistress of Longbourn will manage a table as fine as yours" Mr. Collins suggested with a significant look at Elizabeth as he continued to stuff his face with the delicious tubers.
A look of surprise, alarm and by no little amounts disgust ran through Elizabeth's face. Justly mortified at this remark, at Lydia's snort and at Mr. Bennet's indifference she was about to take matters into her own hands when a strange wheezing noise broke the silence. It appeared to come from Mr. Collins. Could she have imagined it? At present he was silent, but his face was a bit flushed and his toady eyes seemed to be protuding more than normal.
Mrs. Bennet more interested in furthering conversation on her second oldest’s prospects didn't notice the strange look on Mr. Collins' face.
"Yes indeed my dear Mr. Collins. Oh Mr. Bennet wouldn't Longbourn -- oh Kitty enough with your coughing, it grates on my nerves!”
"It is not I mama, it is Mr. Collins, I do believe he is choking" All eyes turned to Mr. Collins, red as a beet he started flapling about.
“Do something Mr. Bennet" Mrs. Bennet cried in hysterics.
"Give him some water" Mary said as Elizabeth and Jane stood up to try to help the poor man. Mr. Bennet gave him a few sound taps on his back.
"No no raise his arms, raise his arms, Aunt Philips says that that works" Lydia said from her seat.
And then with a clear thud Mr. Collins fell face first on his plate of potatoes. Only Kitty's sobs broke the silence. Mr. Collins was dead.
On the morning of the Netherfield ball the inhabitants of Longbourn gathered to break their fast and discuss the latest events of that marvelous night. Jane's success, music, dances, food, dresses and lace were thoroughly discussed to Mr. Bennet's great displeasure and most of all to Elizabeth's discomfort. She could not forget her embarrassment at her mother's loud remarks, her sister's behavior and her father's indolence. Her only source of relief was Jane's happiness.
"Indeed, the repast was of the highest quality but the potatoes were no match to these in front of us, my dear Mrs. Bennet. I do hope that the future mistress of Longbourn will manage a table as fine as yours" Mr. Collins suggested with a significant look at Elizabeth as he continued to stuff his face with the delicious tubers.
A look of surprise, alarm and by no little amounts disgust ran through Elizabeth's face. Justly mortified at this remark, at Lydia's snort and at Mr. Bennet's indifference she was about to take matters into her own hands when a strange wheezing noise broke the silence. It appeared to come from Mr. Collins. Could she have imagined it? At present he was silent, but his face was a bit flushed and his toady eyes seemed to be protuding more than normal.
Mrs. Bennet more interested in furthering conversation on her second oldest’s prospects didn't notice the strange look on Mr. Collins' face.
"Yes indeed my dear Mr. Collins. Oh Mr. Bennet wouldn't Longbourn -- oh Kitty enough with your coughing, it grates on my nerves!”
"It is not I mama, it is Mr. Collins, I do believe he is choking" All eyes turned to Mr. Collins, red as a beet he started flapling about.
“Do something Mr. Bennet" Mrs. Bennet cried in hysterics.
"Give him some water" Mary said as Elizabeth and Jane stood up to try to help the poor man. Mr. Bennet gave him a few sound taps on his back.
"No no raise his arms, raise his arms, Aunt Philips says that that works" Lydia said from her seat.
And then with a clear thud Mr. Collins fell face first on his plate of potatoes. Only Kitty's sobs broke the silence. Mr. Collins was dead.