Blurb: Lady Catherine de Bourgh has some advice, to the tune of the Christmas carol "Hark the Herald Angels Sing".

Hark! the Lady Catherine Calls

1: Introduction

Hark! the Lady Catherine calls,
Her voice ringing off the walls.
"Gather close and listen well.
I have much advice to tell.
Corral all my vassals near
Pack them close so all may hear
As I teach them how to act,
How to speak and think in fact."

Hark, the Lady Catherine calls.
As she speaks, her word is law!

1: Managing Servants

"Keep your servants well in check.
Keep your boot upon their neck.
Do not leave your maids to laze.
Keep your men at work always.
And the master sets the tone.
Work your fingers to the bone.
Do not fall to idleness.
Actions prove your worthiness."

Hark, the Lady Catherine calls.
As she speaks, her word is law!

3: Matrimony

"Choose to wed a paragon,
Humble as the day is long,
One who knows her rank and place,
Dainty limbs and pleasing face.
Take a helpmeet for your spouse
Who can keep a tidy house.
Bring her here with me to dine;
I will judge and then opine."

Hark, the Lady Catherine calls.
As she speaks, her word is law!