Mr. Rushworth's Coming Soon

    By Nn S



    Posted on 2017-12-14

    This is to the tune of “Jolly Old St. Nicholas.” I don't know if this Christmas song is considered obscure to the general public or not. It isn't a religious song to hear at church, and I never notice this song on the radio, but my kids have each learned to play it on the piano in recent years and I remember learning it as well.

    Blurb: Maria Rushworth persuades Henry Crawford to run off with her, to the tune of the Christmas carol, “Jolly Old St. Nicholas.”

    Mr. Rushworth’s Coming Soon



    1: Maria


    Mr. Rushworth’s coming soon.
    I must run away.
    I can't bear to be his wife
    For another day!
    He is a fool, a nincompoop,
    A bore, a dolt, a shame.
    He doesn't have a saving grace
    I can think to name.

    2: Henry


    Mrs. Rushworth, think this through.
    Though he's not a gem,
    Well-bred folk will shut you out
    And rally around him.
    Marriage is a bitter draught.
    That can't be denied,
    But you chose it willingly
    When you became his bride.

    3: Maria


    Henry Crawford, you're the man
    To save me from this fate.
    The vows were said, we've been to bed,
    But still it's not too late!
    Whisk me off to Everingham,
    To Scotland, or to Bath.
    Destination matters not.
    Just put me on the path.

    4: Henry


    I would lose Miss Fanny Price
    If I rescued you.
    I know she will soon give in
    If I remain true.
    Domestic felicity
    Is within my grasp.
    I won't give that up for you
    No matter how you ask.

    5: Maria


    Fanny's not in love with you,
    Nor shall she ever be.
    She's in love with someone else.
    Are you too blind to see?
    Edmund is her heart's desire.
    You cannot compete.
    You are not the type of man
    To sweep her off her feet.

    6: Henry


    Fanny's not in love with him.
    You couldn't be more wrong.
    Their affection -- you mistake --
    Is a familial bond.
    Edmund loves my sister;
    It’s she he wants to wed.
    Now I cannot purge this vile
    Image from my head.

    7: Maria


    Marriage is a bitter draught,
    Domesticity a sham.
    If you cannot claim your bride
    How will you be a man?
    You'll have no prize in Fanny Price.
    She'd rather wed a flea.
    Let us fly. Take your revenge
    Upon my family.

    The End


    © 2017 Copyright held by the author.