Chapter Eighteen

Posted on: 2009-01-13

Their journey was performed without much conversation, or any alarm; and within four hours of their leaving Hunsford they reached Mr. Gardiner's house, where they were to remain a few days.

Jane looked well, surprising well, and Lizzy could not account for it. Serene she was in company, but her eyes positively sparkled with happiness.

It was only half an hour before the answer to her unspoken query became apparent.

"We have a guest for dinner," Mrs. Gardiner told them not long after they arrived. "I hope you do not mind the company. But Jane thought you would not."

Miss Lucas thought she did not mind the company and Lizzy agreed.

"It is Mr. Bingley. My husband has invited him."

"Seeing as he has called here three times in the last three days, I thought he might at least get a good meal in addition to the company," said Mr. Gardiner.

"I don't think he minds just the company," said his wife, rather wickedly.

Lizzy looked to Miss Bennet in great surprise. But Jane blushed and would say nothing.

Miss Lucas looked in gape-eyed wonder at her older friend. "Jane, is Mr. Bingley courting you again?"

"I do not know, Maria." And Jane would say nothing else. Nor did she say much at dinner, though her embarrassment was palpable.

Mr. Bingley did not seem to mind her blushes. In fact he seemed quite pleased by him. And though he talked to her little, he looked at her often.

"And how did you find Kent, Miss Smith?" he asked Lizzy-- all the time looking at Jane.

Lizzy made only a small comment, thinking that it did not matter much what she said, given where his attentions lay. But she was wrong.

"What is this, Miss Smith?" he cried. "Have you nothing to say about the beauty of the countryside, of Rosings, or of your dear friend's happiness? For Miss Lucas has a quite a bit to say, and you must have some opinion yourself!"

"You are very kind, Mr. Bingley," she said, smiling, for once again, he looked at Jane, rather than at her. I must simply agree with Miss Lucas. Everything in Kent looked quite well, and Mrs. Collins is quite happy. I do not have any especial opinion on the subject."

"Do you only have opinions in Kent and not outside of that county, Miss Smith? My friend Darcy seems to think that you have no lack of them there."

At once, Lizzy's blush matched her friend's. And so Mr. Darcy had spoken to Mr. Bingley since his return. The knowledge that he had taken at least some of her advice was bittersweet.

Mrs. Gardiner, sensing something amiss, sought to interject. "Perhaps you do not know our Lizzy very well, Mr. Bingley. She has many opinions, but only ventures them when she is sure of a receptive audience."

"Or when they must be given, I think," said Mr. Bingley, smiling at Jane. "But Miss Smith, I did not mean to embarrass you. Mr. Darcy said very little about your meeting in Kent. Only that you had several interesting conversations. And Mr. Darcy would not find a conversation especially interesting unless a person were to give an opinion-- usually one different from his own."

"Mr. Darcy is all politeness, Mr. Bingley. We did not speak of so very much, I do not think. In limited company, we all speak of what we will."

"Limited company, Lizzy?" asked Maria, confused. "Why, you dined with Lady Catherine!"

"I meant only in number, not in rank, Miss Lucas. I am used to living with twenty other people."

Miss Lucas was mollified and she changed the conversation to a proposed outing the following day. Lizzy and Jane were both willing and plans were set.

"I hope you were not planning to call again so soon, Mr. Bingley," said Mr. Gardiner, smiling. "As you can ascertain, the ladies will be out. Should I ask one of them to stay at home to wait on you?"

"I would not take any lady away from her friends," said Bingley agreeably.

The next day he did not call, but he did the day after, perhaps a few minutes too early to be strictly proper. Miss Bennet was again out. She and Miss Lucas had taken the older children for a walk. Lizzy, who would have enough girlish company when she returned to Miss Gosford's, stayed at home with the boys and Mrs. Gardiner. The younger had disrupted the tea service and his Mama had taken them upstairs to change their stained shirts.

So Lizzy was all alone in the parlor when Mr. Bingley was announced.

"Miss Smith," he said graciously, glancing around the otherwise empty room.

"I'm afraid you momentarily find me all alone, sir. Though Mrs. Gardiner is upstairs and the others will return from their walk shortly."

"Excellent. I understand that you travel the day after tomorrow."

"Yes, sir. I wonder what you might do with your mornings, when we are gone."

"I shall not have to worry so much longer. I will be returning to Hertfordshire within the month, and then you may be stuck with my regular company."

"Returning to Hertfordshire? I understood that you were planning to quit the neighborhood entirely. Have you changed your mind?"

The question was asked in an innocent tone but Bingley was not fooled. He laughed.

"My mind is easily changed, Miss Smith. But for this change, you may only blame yourself. I must thank you. I am not exactly sure what it is that you told Darcy, nor should I share with you the particulars of our conversation. But I am thankful to you, all the same."

"Have you spoken to Miss Bennet, then?"

"I am not at liberty to say. But I may say that I have some business with her father, when I return to the county."

"Sly girl! She has not said a word."

"There is nothing to say, as of yet. I intend to court her properly, in such a way that I was not prepared to do in the autumn. But Miss Smith, I should not speak more of it until I speak to her father."

"Of course not. Your secret is safe with me."

"I must say, Miss Smith, I had not realized quite how close you and Miss Bennet were. Why, you are almost like sisters, I dare say, for you to look out for her in such a way. Or cousins, at the very least."

"I believe we are. We've known each other ten years at least."

He looked slightly troubled and after hesitating, spoke. "But you are not on familiar terms? You do not always speak to her as family."

"Why, no. I mean she may call me Lizzy, but it has never occurred to me to do likewise. And now that she is to make such a match, well, surely you must see that we should lessen our connection and not increase it."

"No, I do not see that at all! No, I should encourage such friendships, I should think."

"Do you think so, Mr. Bingley? Then you are a singular man, indeed."

"I don't think I am as singular as you think I am. Nor am I so naive as my friend Darcy believes I am. I know very well that he would have not been friends with my grandfather. And yet, by all accounts, my grandfather and I were very much alike in manner and person."

Lizzy very much wanted to ask him to explain this statement, but Mrs. Gardiner came into the room at that moment and was soon followed by the other ladies. Miss Bennet seemed less shy that morning, and was able to speak to Mr. Bingley, so she did not press him. But a few times he looked at her, and smiled, before returning his attentions to the lady beside him.

Lizzy and Miss Bennet were both used to the Gardiner children and thus were given the larger bedroom next to the nursery where Miss Lucas was in the smaller chamber down the hall. Instead of immediately going to sleep that evening, Lizzy looked toward her friend, who was still smiling into the candlelit mirror at the dressing table.

"Any primping you might do tonight will surely be undone by the morning."

The elder girl turned toward her, smiling. "I was not primping, my dear Lizzy. I was just so distracted."

"By happy news?"

She blushed.

"By perhaps the happy news that Mr. Bingley will be calling on your father in a month's time?"

"Oh Lizzy! Did he tell you? I am so happy. He loves me. He always loved me! He thought I was indifferent, but now he has returned. And he tells me that I should thank you! And I should! You dear, dear girl."

Lizzy found herself in a sudden embrace and hugged her friend in return. "Oh, dearest. I merely told the truth. I am so very happy for you."

Jane sat back and looked at her friend, perplexed. "How did you come to speak of it? And to Mr. Darcy, of all people?"

"He asked how you were, and I merely told him the truth--that you were not well, and were miserable for Mr. Bingley. I am sorry for the gossip. But I thought he might have convinced his friend of your indifference."

"I think it was more likely his sister. But never mind that, I must forgive her, I think. He made her call with him, before you came to London. It was rather uncomfortable. But she will be happy in the end, I think. But do tell me, how much of Mr. Darcy did you see, when you were in Kent? He has always singled you out soon. It is so very surprising."

"I am hardly proper company for a man such as himself."

"That is not it at all, Lizzy! It is just that I would think you might think him proud and disagreeable. But he does not seem to be so around you. I think he might like you Lizzy."

"Do you think so?" choked her friend. "So does half of Meryton, I fear."

"Oh, they should not talk so. Why should he not offer for you? It is an uneven match, but not one of your doing. You are very pretty and kind and lively and intelligent and you are not without money or education. It would be surprising, but I should think it within the realm of possibility."

"You always see the best in any person or situation."

"And why shouldn't I? When I have so much happiness? I wish you might find a Mr. Bingley!"

Lizzy looked at her friend, so sincere in her happiness and compliments, and smiled. "Perhaps I shall. Perhaps I shall. Now, go to sleep, Jane, before the dark circles under your eyes scare away your suitor."

If Miss Bennet noticed her friend's use of her Christian name, she did not show it, as she moved to blow out the candle.. "I don't know if I shall be able to sleep, Lizzy. I have not for some nights. But I shall try. Good night, dear Lizzy."

"Good night, Jane."

Chapter Nineteen

Posted on: 2009-01-26

It was the second week in May, in which the three young ladies set out together from Gracechurch Street for the town of -- -- , in Hertfordshire.

There they were met by Kitty and Lydia Bennet. It was a perfectly unexpected, and for Lizzy, an unpleasant surprise. Kitty she liked well enough, but after six weeks with no Jane for company, the girl was not at her best, and Lydia was behaving as she often did, that is, as she should not. While waiting, she had spent her spending money on a perfectly ridiculous bonnet.

Kitty abused it as ugly but her sister responded, with perfect unconcern, "Oh! but there were two or three much uglier in the shop; and when I have bought some prettier-colored satin to trim it with fresh, I think it will be very tolerable. Besides, it will not much signify what one wears this summer, after the -- -- shire have left Meryton, and they are going in a fortnight."

"Are they indeed!" cried Lizzy, with the greatest satisfaction, for her mind being what it was, she could not bear the thought of being friendly with any of the officers, for none of them were Mr. Darcy, and the thought of attention from anyone but that particular man made her feel rather ill. This sudden realization in turn, gave her additional uneasiness, and she nearly missed what Lydia was saying next.

"They are going to be encamped near Brighton; and I do so want papa to take us all there for the summer! It would be such a delicious scheme, and I dare say would hardly cost anything at all. Mamma would like to go too of all things! Only think what a miserable summer else we shall have!"

Lizzy and Maria both glanced at Jane, who had sworn them to secrecy as to Mr. Bingley's impending visit. Her wide smile belied her vague words.

"I am sure Papa will consider the matter, Lydia."

Lydia rolled her eyes. "Yes, Papa said something equally unsatisfactory. But, let us hear what has happened to you all, since you went away. Have you seen any pleasant men? Have you had any flirting? I was in great hopes that one of you would have got a husband before you came back. Jane will be quite an old maid soon, I declare. She is almost three-and-twenty! Lord, how ashamed I should be of not being married before three-and-twenty! How I should like to be married before any of you!"

As soon as they were in the carriage, it must be confessed, Lizzy feigned sleep, rather than have to respond to such exclamations all the way home.

Lizzy was invited to dinner at the Bennets that evening, for the Lucases were to attend as well, and all three girls were expected to share the experiences of their respective journeys. She pleaded fatigue as an excuse, and was let off in Meryton.

How small and dusty the hall appeared! The lines on Miss Gosford's face seemed more pronounced in the sunlight from the window in May than it had when Lizzy had left the month before. Her welcome was sincere though, as was Miss Hillard's, who at sixteen was currently the eldest girl in the school, and who had come to meet her as well.

"Did you have a good journey, Lizzy?" asked the girl in her typical dull tone, such a relief from Lydia's endless pratter.

Lizzy surveyed the girl before her, whose large brown eyes overshadowed the rest of her face. "I did, Alice. I have much news."

"Miss Hillard is to join us for tea, Lizzy. And then we shall have a nice chat," remarked Miss Gosford. "For now I must return to my lesson, but I will see you at the standard time, refreshed and ready to regale us both."

With a harried smile, she returned to the classroom, the din of which had risen steadily since Lizzy's arrival three minutes before.

"May I keep you company while you settle yourself, Lizzy?"

Lizzy looked at Alice in surprise. It had been nearly two years since the last of a series of friends had left the school, and since then she had not made much effort to befriend those girls closest to her age. With those earlier acquaintances, some correspondence was maintained but it was sporadic at best. Eliza, though only ten miles away, was married, Sophia had safely returned to Halifax, and Mary was a governess. Another friend had died in a fever, and any number of girls had simply departed, never to be heard from again. As Lizzy had now been out in Meryton society for three years, she had stopped encouraging a close friendship with the oldest of the girls at the school. They were too often occupied with their lessons and each other.

"Of course, Alice," said Lizzy in confusion.

"You probably wonder why I am not at my lessons," said Alice, picking up Lizzy's small satchel (the larger luggage having been left for the manservant.)

"I must confess that I am."

"I am to have no more lessons. You see, I am to be married, and Miss Gosford has been instructed to put me out into society until it can be arranged for me to go back to Essex."

"Married!" Lizzy looked at the girl before her, four years younger in age, manner, and appearance. "My goodness! Best wishes to you both. Whom are you marrying?"

"His name is Samuel Forsythe. He and I were always meant for one another, though he is a decade older. Now that his father has died, he might support a wife. It is all arranged. We are to be married when the mourning period has passed."

This was all said in such an even voice as they climbed the stairs that Lizzy could not begin to imagine what the younger girl was thinking. Just 16! To be married to a man she could not have seen in some time!

"Are you happy?" she asked, almost in desperation. It was just too much when schoolgirls were to be married.

Alice peaked behind her shoulder in surprise, but only stopped when they arrived at Lizzy's narrow room.

"What an odd question! Do you care if I should be happy or not?"

Immediately pouring water from the pitcher into the basin so that she might wash her face, Lizzy shook her head. "I rather wish all young ladies to be happy."

"Yes, I am happy, I think," said the girl shyly. "I have always liked him, for as long as I can remember. I saw him at Christmas, and he is a very good sort of man. He has always liked me, and we are equals, in every way."

"Then I am happy for you, Alice. To be so equally matched is ideal. Pardon my thickness, I had forgotten you were home in December, when you must have seen him. It was a very long carriage ride." Lizzy's tone betrayed her distraction.

"Washing up does seem to help," said Alice. "It always wakes me up when I am dusty from the road. Now, why are you so upset? I've never seen you out of sorts. You are always so cheerful."

"I suppose I must often keep my feelings very well hidden," said Lizzy, looking at her newly wet and pink face in the mirror over the dressing table. "Too many years of sharing rooms with four or five other girls. But 'tis no matter."

Alice smiled, sitting down on Lizzy's bed. "I understand that. You can't shed a tear or the whole school will know by morning. That's why I'm always so dull. No one speaks of you when you are dull."

Lizzy laughed in spite of herself. "I daresay I do not know you at all Alice! How funny! But I cannot be dull. People know me to be lively, and they should directly see through feigned dullness."

"But your life is so lovely, how can you be upset as to need to be dull?"

"I have always been very content Alice, but I have never thought of my life as particularly lovely. And my hair certainly is not." This last statement was added as an aside, for she was trying to repin her curls without much success.

Alice raised her eyebrows as she stood again. "Here, let me help you with that. You need an extra hand. Now, why isn't your life lovely? You're rich, you're pretty, everyone adores you, and you were always so quick in your lessons. Miss Gosford has always treated you so very well, and I daresay you have a hundred gentlemen admirers."

With this gushing statement, Lizzy, rather uncharacteristically, burst into tears.

Lizzy Smith had planned to tell her good friend Jane Bennet of her heartbreak, for it had taken only a few days to recognize the feeling that overwhelmed her at times as such. The joy Miss Bennet felt at Mr. Bingley's return had caused her to delay this revelation for a manner of days. She had then considered, instead, to share the situation within the next week, on one of the walks that they tended to take through the surrounds, now that the weather was warmer. But Lizzy's nature did not allow her to be without a confidant for so long, and so Alice Hillard's unexpected admiration during a place and time of relative privacy meant that Lizzy poured out her entire awkward narrative to a girl she had scarcely noticed before. She did so quickly and without much thought. Alice's practiced dullness served her well, and she did not respond to her newest bosom friend, until the girl was literally crying against said bosom.

"Now, now," she finally said, when she had sorted the various characters out in her head, for she had not met many of the principle players of the drama, and Mr. Darcy she only knew as a rather tall man of indistinguishable features, with an equally tall beaver hat. "It is very much alright. For you were both able to write your piece, and you have saved Miss Bennet's marriage prospects. You could not have acted any better, under the circumstances, and that must surely be most reassuring."

Lizzy looked at the girl with large red-brimmed eyes in utter disbelief. "But the mortification of thinking what I thought!"

Alive patted her back reassuringly. "But Lizzy, you did not say. What is it exactly that upsets you so? Are you merely mortified? If that is the case, then only Mr. Darcy knows of your mortification, and he cannot speak of it to anyone else, nor can he judge you for it, for he has suffered an equal one."

"If I were only upset out of embarrassment!"

"You have suffered a disappointment to be sure--if you wished to know your family. But you are no worse off than you were before."

"You could not possibly understand the depth of the disappointment!"

"No I could not." This comment was so simply put and followed by such a long silence that Lizzy looked at the concerned girl and wondered at the instant trust she had placed in her. She extricated herself from her position, and returned to the basin, once again pouring water over her eyes. Miss Hillard remained silent, again waiting for Lizzy to speak.

Finally she did. "But it is not just that, Alice. I hated to disappoint him as well."

"You hardly could not have, under the circumstances."

"I just wish I had known, had some warning, then I might have-- oh! what might have been!"

Alice smiled slightly, and felt in her own pocket for the page of letter she had been sent, a letter from her mother, but one that also contained three or four written lines from her new fiancé. She brushed the paper slightly with her fingertips, and recognized the expression on Lizzy's face. "You love him."

"Alice, I thought he was my brother."

"But he is not, and the love remains. Under those circumstances, perhaps it is better that he is not your brother."

Lizzy managed a weak smile. "Perhaps."

"He may return to Hertfordshire with Mr. Bingley."

Lizzy continued to erase the signs of her outburst from her bearing, as it was almost time for tea. "Under such circumstances, I hardly see him renewing his addresses."

"Why ever not? He needs to give you time to re-examine your feelings. But he knows you care for him in some way. He knows that you do not dislike him. Is that not encouragement enough?"

"There are other impediments to our union. The inequity of such an arrangement gave him pause even as he proposed. Look at your own situation. You and Mr. Forsyth are 'equals in every way.' You described it in such a way yourself."

Alice touched her letter again.

"It is time we went downstairs Lizzy. Your eyes are still red, but we can blame that on the dust from your journey."

"Yes, yes, I will be fine. Thank you for your discretion, Alice. And thank you for listening."

"Lizzy?"

"Yes?"

"Pardon me for asking, but have you heard the rumors? The ones where your father is some Duke or Lord with a guilty conscience? The ones that place you on the wrong side of a union between some of the finest families of England?"

Lizzy smiled, a true smile now. "Yes, of course."

"They may not be true-- but it might do you some good to believe them all the same."

Posted on: 2009-01-29

Chapter Twenty

The next day saw Jane, Kitty, and Lydia walking into Meryton. The younger girls immediately called on Mrs. Forster, but their elder sister instead came to the school. Lizzy introduced her to Alice, and the three set out together. Jane was not so keen on walking very far, but they made it to a sort of outcropping a little ways out of the village and sat down. Miss Bennet wished to speak of Mr. Bingley, not being able to do so at home, but hesitated in front of such a new acquaintance. This gave Lizzy a perfect opportunity to tell her own sad story. After some prompting by Alice, Lizzy told Jane a much less emotional and detailed version of her time in Kent.

Miss Bennet's astonishment was soon lessened by the strong partiality, which made any admiration of Lizzy appear perfectly natural; and all surprise was shortly lost in other feelings. She was sorry that Mr. Darcy should have delivered his sentiments in a manner so little suited to recommend them; but still more was she grieved for the unhappiness which her friend's misapprehension must have given him. It was some time, it must be confessed, before a smile could be extorted from Jane.

"I do not know when I have been more shocked. Poor Lizzy! And poor Mr. Darcy! It is really too distressing. I am sure you must feel it so."

"Oh! no, my regret and compassion are all done away by seeing you so full of both. If you lament over him much longer my heart will be as light as a feather." Lizzy's words were amusing, but her tone fooled neither of her friends.

"Lizzy, you do not feel such a way!" said Alice. "Do not say such things when I know you do not mean them."

"Are you very disappointed Lizzy?" asked Jane, in a serious tone.

"I must own it, I am."

"And to think of me at such a time as well! How dear you are! What an odd conversation Mr. Darcy must have had with Mr. Bingley." Here Jane glanced at Alice, who had reverted to her most dull expression.

"I am afraid Miss Hillard knows your news as well, Jane. Whatever secrets I might have kept, I could not in the moment yesterday."

"And so I must offer you best wishes to match those that you have given me in honor of my own engagement," said Alice, sweetly.

"Thank you, Miss Hilliard, though I cannot quite call for them yet. But poor Lizzy! To have seen my joy for a full week, all while suffering heartbreak! I am quite ashamed, and shall make it up to you."

"Perhaps an invitation to Netherfield when you are married?" asked Alice. "And perhaps Mr. Bingley might invite his friend as well?"

"Alice, you are a poor matchmaker. Better that you invite me to Essex, and Mr. Darcy stay in Derbyshire. I'm not sure I could ever face him again. Such mortification!"

Lizzy again spoke lightly, but both the girls saw the beginning of a tear in her eyes, and changed the subject. The Bennet family was as amusing a subject as any--and Jane told them how Kitty and Lydia had woken her early that morning in order that they might walk to town and see the officers. This brought to mind another subject. Miss Bennet was concerned that her father would capitulate and travel with the whole family to Brighton before Mr. Bingley could return to Netherfield. A few stories of her mother and sister's ridiculous nature in regards to the possible trip was enough to have the other two laughing again.

The tumult of Elizabeth's mind was allayed by her conversations of the previous two days. She had got rid the secrets which had weighed on her for a fortnight, and was certain of a willing listener in both Jane and Alice, whenever she might wish to talk of the subject again. Of course, she still felt keenly her heartbreak, and the knowledge that both of these women were soon to be happily united made her occasionally fret on her own ill-luck. She resolved to think no more on Derbyshire, whether it involve Mr. Darcy, any possible relation that she might have there, or even Mr. Wickham, who still resided in Meryton. This, of course, was more easily resolved than carried out, but she had her trip to the Lakes to look forward to, and Mr. Bingley's return besides.

With Charlotte gone, Lizzy called on the Bennet daughters several times a week, most often with Alice, who privately resolved that she might not follow this particular example in regards to martial felicity. They were therefore at Longbourn to hear of Lydia's invitation to Brighton. That no one seemed concerned by such a girl exposing herself so bothered Lizzy some, and she spoke to Jane about the matter. Jane, it must be confessed, was rather uncharacteristically selfish about the whole affair, for she was thrilled that her most silly sister would be absent for Mr. Bingley's return. Kitty whined some, but was mollified by the fact that she was to visit the Lakes and satisfied herself that had these plans not already been well known, Mrs. Forster would have invited her instead. Mary and Mr. Bennet spent so much time in the library that it seemed that they were blissfully unaware of the invitation, and Mrs. Bennet, naturally, was overjoyed for her youngest daughter.

Lizzy and Alice were also present a week later, when Lady Lucas gave Mrs. Bennet the information that Bingley was to return to Netherfield in a very few days' time. Jane remained tight-lipped, but her smile belied the fact that this information was not so unexpected, and Mrs. Bennet would not rest until she had learned from Maria Lucas that Mr. Bingley had called several times in London. This and the fact that he was to return to Netherfield before the normal season was enough to send her into an excited frenzy of anticipation. Indeed, her enthusiasm was only tempered by the fact that even the prospect of a Mr. Bingley could not break an entail.

"Well, Lizzy," continued Mrs. Bennet, soon after a long conversation lamenting Lydia's absence for the courtship period, "the Collinses live very comfortable, do they? Well, well, I only hope it will last. And what sort of table do they keep? Charlotte is an excellent manager, I dare say. If she is half as sharp as her mother, she is saving enough. There is nothing extravagant in their housekeeping, I dare say."

"No, nothing at all."

"A great deal of good management, depend upon it. Yes, yes. They will take care not to outrun their income. They will never be distressed for money. Well, much good may it do them! And so, I suppose, they often talk of having Longbourn when Jane's father is dead. They look upon it quite as their own, I dare say, whenever that happens."

"It was a subject which they did not mention before me. I cannot but think that they do not speak of it very much among themselves."

"Child, you are so naïve! I make no doubt they often talk of it! Well, if they can be easy with an estate that is not lawfully their own, so much the better. I should be ashamed of having one that was only entailed on me. There are so many improper ways to obtain a fortune-- as you well know."

Jane grimaced. "Mama--"

"No, I do not know, Mrs. Bennet," said Lizzy interrupting her friend. "For I am so very naive. Perhaps you can enlighten me?"

Mrs. Bennet could not reply to such a statement, and very soon after changed the subject.

The first week of their return was soon gone. The second began. It was the last of the regiment's stay in Meryton, and all the young ladies in the neighborhood were drooping apace. The dejection was almost universal. Three of the Miss Bennets, Miss Smith, and Miss Hillard (who had indeed had never met any in the regiment and was preoccupied with her own impending leave-taking in any ways) alone were still able to eat, drink, and sleep, and pursue the usual course of their employments. The youngest Miss Bennet, of course, was overjoyed-- for she alone could follow the regiment in the company of Mrs. Forster. Very frequently was she reproached for this insensibility by Kitty, whose own misery was extreme, and who could not comprehend such hard-heartedness in any of the family.

Their affectionate mother shared all this grief; she remembered what she had herself endured on a similar occasion, five-and-twenty years ago.

"I am sure," said she, "I cried for two days together when Colonel Millar's regiment went away. I thought I should have broke my heart."

"I am sure I shall break mine," said Kitty.

"If you could but go to Brighton as well!" observed Mrs. Bennet. "But you are to go to the Lakes instead. Such bad luck!"

Lizzy was now to see Mr. Wickham for the last time. Having been not frequently in company with him since her return, agitation was pretty well over; the agitations of former partiality entirely so. She had even learnt to detect, in the very gentleness which had first delighted her, an affectation and a sameness to disgust and weary. In his present behavior to herself, moreover, she had a fresh source of displeasure, for the inclination he soon testified of renewing those attentions which had marked the early part of their acquaintance, before Miss King's arrival on the scene, could only serve, after what had since passed, to provoke her. She lost all concern for him in finding herself thus selected as the object of such idle and frivolous gallantry; and while she steadily repressed it, could not but feel the reproof contained in his believing, that, however long, and for whatever cause, his attentions had been withdrawn, her vanity would be gratified, and her preference secured at any time by their renewal.

On the very last day of the regiment's remaining at Meryton he dined, with others of the officers, and Miss Smith, at Longbourn; and so little was Lizzy disposed to part from him in good-humor that, on his making some enquiry as to the manner in which her time had passed at Hunsford, she mentioned Mr. Darcy's having spent three weeks at Rosings, and how lovely it had been to renew their friendship.

"Indeed!" cried Wickham, smiling widely. "How very wonderful for you indeed. It is a shame that Mr. Darcy is not so well-liked in this neighborhood."

"A truth, indeed. How could he be, with all the rumors swirling about him? Slander is such a horrible business." She gave him a look that left no doubt as to her loyalties. He only widened his smile, and said in a malicious tone:

"Perhaps you are referring to yourself, Miss Smith, when you speak. You had best be careful. Gentlemen in Mr. Darcy's position are not generally tempted by pretty looks and a few thousand pounds. At least not tempted into marriage."

"You need not worry on my behalf, sir," she said primly. "Thank you for teaching me a lesson about the insincerities of those who only appear as gentlemen."

The rest of the evening passed with the appearance, on his side, of usual cheerfulness, but with no farther attempt to distinguish Lizzy; and they parted at last with mutual civility, and a mutual desire of never meeting again.

When the party broke up, Lydia returned with Mrs. Forster to Meryton, from whence they were to set out early the next morning. But by this time, Lizzy was already asleep, her arms around one of the younger girls, who had had a nightmare earlier in the evening, and has thus crawled into her bed to await her comforting appearance.

Chapter Twenty-One

Many days before the families who had been in town for the winter came back again, and even before the summer finery and summer engagements arose, Netherfield was reopened.

Mr. Bingley returned alone. That no sisters accompanied relieved Miss Smith (and offended Mrs. Bennet, who was clever enough to recognize all that was implied by Miss Bingley's absence.) That no friends accompanied him immediately was also a sort of relief--though the not coincidental pang of regret troubled her.

She did not see him for some days. He had called on Longbourn immediately, of course, and was slowly visiting where he ought-- when he was not preoccupied with the eldest Miss Bennet. That he was publically courting her was now evident, and the wagging tongues of Meryton were willing to forgive him some social slight in the name of affection for one of their favorite daughters.

But he did finally call on Miss Gosford, and therefore Miss Smith and Miss Hillard as well. Alice's father was to return from his time in London in a fortnight, and travel the roundabout way to Essex so she might be fetched on his way home. She was then to serve as mistress in her father's house, which for many years had gone without one, until the time that she could be married.

Mr. Bingley, unsurprisingly, rejoiced in a new acquaintance, and asked several friendly questions about Mr. Forsythe, in such a way as to make Alice proud of the dubious accomplishment of walking the path to matrimony at the tender age of sixteen.

To Miss Smith he said nothing extraordinary, though just before he was to leave he mentioned his friend. "Miss Smith, I am amiss in my duties. My friend Darcy did insist that I send his greetings."

Lizzy colored. "Mr. Darcy is all politeness."

Bingley laughed. "My friend Darcy has been accused of many things, but 'all politeness' is not one of them. I am sure he sends his greetings as a friend. Now, Miss Gosford, I must thank you for tea, but I dare not keep you from your charges any longer. I shall see you at Lucas Lodge Tuesday evening, I believe?"

"Yes, of course. Good day Mr. Bingley," said Miss Gosford, eyeing her charge curiously. "Lizzy, why don't you see the gentleman out?"

"Miss Smith," he said, as they stood a moment later in the doorway. "I should tell you that Mr. Darcy was quite clear in his greeting. He has duties to his sister this summer that does not allow him to accompany me on my 'romantic adventures--' as he rather derisively calls them. But he did especially tell me to express nothing short of good wishes for your health and happiness."

Lizzy colored. "When you write him next, you may return such sentiment for me, if you wish."

"If I dare ask-- out of obligation, or out of true feeling?"

She smiled in spite of herself. Mr. Bingley was not a man made for passing discrete messages between anybody.

"My situation is a unique one, Mr. Bingley. It means that I need not feel any obligation to anyone but myself."

He laughed. "An exaggeration, to be sure, but I take your meaning. Good day Miss Smith."

"Good day Mr. Bingley. Please give my greetings to Jane as well."

"Jane?" He smiled. "Indeed, I shall."

She watched him leave. So Mr. Darcy was no longer angry with her, if he ever truly had been. It made her happy to know it. Yet he had not come, and he left no promise of it in the future. It was hardly reassuring.

"Lizzy." She turned see Miss Gosford, looking rather stern.

"Yes, Miss Gosford?"

"I would like to speak with you."

Lizzy drew her light shawl close around her and followed the woman back into the parlor, now vacated by Alice.

Miss Gosford was blunt. "Your friendship with Mr. Darcy continues then?"

"Yes, Miss Gosford. As you have undoubtedly heard, I was much thrown into his company in Kent."

"Yes, you have said so. Lizzy, I've known you for seven years, and know that you are not generally given to blushing. And yet you have blushed and started every time his name has been mentioned."

"It was most unconsciously done."

"Which? Your blushing? Or your developing feelings for Mr. Darcy?"

Lizzy sighed. "Both."

Miss Gosford tried to look stern but her expression failed her.

"Has he encouraged such feelings?"

"I don't know how to answer that question, Miss Gosford."

Miss Gosford raised her eyebrows.

"I've done nothing wrong, ma'am."

"But has he? He is a man of the world. He should know better."

"Mr. Darcy has done nothing wrong!" she cried defensively. "We cannot help it!"

"We? You both cannot help it? You've discussed the matter?"

Lizzy sighed. She did not know how to defend him without telling the truth. "He asked me to marry him, Miss Gosford."

Miss Gosford started. "Are you engaged to Mr. Darcy?"

"I am not."

"You doubt his motivations then?"

"No!" cried Lizzy again. "It is not as it looks. There were no liaisons, no false promises, no secrets! My reputation is intact. The only secret was his affection. He took me completely by surprise. I did not know what to think!"

"My Lord, Lizzy! You refused Mr. Darcy!"

"I did not exactly refuse him, I had not the chance… There was a misunderstanding. We quarreled. We separated. He left for London. There was nothing untoward in the matter. I did not know how I felt at the time. How much I would miss him."

Miss Gosford held out her hands in a motherly fashion. "My poor dear! No wonder you blush! And there is nothing to be done. It is all in his hands."

"No, nothing at all. And even if he does return, I could not marry him. The mortification of marrying someone so far beneath him… I could not do such a thing to him."

Miss Gosford breathed out. "Yet that his choice to make Lizzy. I know that you would understand the consequences. You must assume he would as well."

"You have always counseled me to be cautious when it comes to matters of my birth."

"And still I would tell you to be so. But if a good man that you loved and respected offered you honorable marriage, I see nothing in incautious in agreeing to the match, especially as he is not in a dependent position. Though it is only your guardian's place to grant permission for such a match. I only wish that I could offer you some consolation in the matter."

"Thank you, Miss Gosford.

"But Lizzy-- if Mr. Darcy should return to Hertfordshire, it shall all be out in the open. There will be no letters exchanged, no secret meetings, and no surreptitious greetings sent through Mr. Bingley. Do you understand? "

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good girl. Now, why don't you look in on the little girls? I have a letter to write. And this afternoon, I would very much appreciate if you and Alice would go over the schools' accounts again. I do fear she will not be able to keep her own expenses, when the time comes."

"Yes, Miss Gosford," said Lizzy, relieved at the older woman's pragmatic personality.

Miss Gosford sat at her desk and sighed. Finally she drew out paper and sharpened a pen:

Dear Sir,

Lillian Gosford.
Gosford Seminary for Young Ladies
Meryton, Hertfordshire

Posted on: 2009-02-05

Chapter Twenty-Two

Lizzy said goodbye to Alice soon after her discussion with Miss Gosford, as Mr. Hillard arrived not quite two weeks later. The elder girl was somewhat distressed to see that Alice's father was not a jovial man, but the daughter seemed not at all put out by his disposition, and left in good cheer with great promises to write.

The time fixed for the beginning of the northern tour was now fast approaching, and a fortnight only was wanting of it, when a letter arrived from Mrs. Gardiner, which at once delayed its commencement and curtailed its extent. Mr. Gardiner would be prevented by business from setting out till a fortnight later in July, and must be in London again within a month; and as that left too short a period for them to go so far, and see so much as they had proposed, or at least to see it with the leisure and comfort they had built on, they were obliged to give up the Lakes, and substitute a more contracted tour, and, according to the present plan, were to go no farther northward than Derbyshire. In that county there was enough to be seen to occupy the chief of their three weeks; and to Mrs. Gardiner it had a peculiarly strong attraction.

Lizzy was excessively disappointed; she had set her heart on seeing the Lakes, and still thought there might have been time enough. But it was her business to be satisfied -- and certainly her temper to be happy; and all was soon right again.

With the mention of Derbyshire there were many ideas connected. It was impossible for her to see the word without thinking of Pemberley and its owner. "But surely," said she, "I may enter his county with impunity, and rob it of a few petrified spars without his perceiving me." (Her secret hope that she might see him she soon put in its proper place, and while Miss Gosford suspected such a wish, the elder lady held her tongue. His assurance that Lambton was undoubtedly far removed from the family of her birth also reassured Lizzy as to the possibility of visiting that town, and her own satisfaction that she had turned out quite the young lady of fashion, was enough to reassure her that she might enjoy seeing former neighbors and friends. For all of the scolding by Mr. Bingley and Alice had done some good, as had the compliment of such a proposal, no matter how bungled its presentation. She began to perceive that her liveliness, pretty face, goodness, and (it must be confessed) money, did not limit her society very much at all. The jabs she experienced were easily put down with good humor, and she found herself not noticing them near as often as she had in the past. Neither Mary nor Kitty seemed to observe it when she began to call them by their first names as they called her, and Maria Lucas's subsequent comment was only one of surprise, not of correction. That Mr. Bingley treated her as an equal was enough to raise her status with Sir William and his family, for he was fond enough of her in any case. She also started to understand that these changes had as much to do with her own self as they did with society, and while she knew that there would always be many who could not ignore the fact of her birth, it was not her place to worry about their reaction.

The period of expectation for the tour was now doubled. Four weeks were to pass away before her friends' arrival. But within half that time the long pending engagement was announced, and even Kitty, who had again been made grumpy by the delay, was thrilled at the possibility of an impending wedding. It was set for eight weeks hence, for both Kitty and Lydia would have by that time returned to Hertfordshire to be bridesmaids. Jane glowed, Mr. Bingley was given to especially lively spirits, and even the little girls at the school were excited by the event--for it had occurred to the groom-to-be to have sent over to the school a good amount of sweet treats for their consumption in honor of his impending nuptials.

Finally, Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, with their four children, did at length appear at Longbourn. The children, two girls of six and eight years old, and two younger boys, were to be left under the particular care of their cousin Jane, who was the general favorite, and whose steady sense and sweetness of temper exactly adapted her for attending to them in every way -- teaching them, playing with them, and loving them. Mr. Bingley was immediately drafted into service as well, and he was declared a good jolly sort, and the perfect complement to their favored cousin.

The Gardiners stayed only one night at Longbourn, and set off the next morning with Kitty and Lizzy in pursuit of novelty and amusement. Miss Gosford once again embraced Lizzy in farewell.

"I have great hopes for you, Lizzy." The meaning was enigmatic and clear at the same time.

It is not the object of this work to give a description of Derbyshire, nor of any of the remarkable places through which their route thither lay: Oxford, Blenheim, Warwick, Kenelworth, Birmingham, etc., are sufficiently known. A small part of Derbyshire is all the present concern. To the little town of Lambton, the scene of the former residence of two of the company, and where they had lately learned that some acquaintances still remained, they bent their steps, after having seen all the principal wonders of the country.

During this time, Kitty received a letter from her youngest sister that troubled her some. She was a girl given to looking up to whomever was in her vicinity, and thus within a few days of the beginning of the trip, Lizzy fell into the role of mentor and sister. Mrs. Gardiner, likewise, was an excellent replacement for her husband's sister, and quickly checked any poor behavior that Mrs. Bennet would have allowed. Kitty learned much about propriety in imitation of her friend, and began to sense that a lively spirit tempered by decorum and kindness was not necessarily any less lively, and indeed infinitely more agreeable. During one moment, she had innocently asked Lizzy why, after Miss King was out of the way, she had not again encouraged Mr. Wickham's attentions. Relieved that Mr. Wickham was now gone from Hertfordshire, Lizzy recounted what she knew, and taught Kitty an important lesson about the limitations of fortune in attracting a suitor.

The authoress is not claiming that Kitty had improved so very much in such a short time, nor that she would not have fallen back into her old role in the Bennet family, had things not changed so significantly upon her return. Indeed, Kitty, who would in time become quite a bit less insipid, ignorant, and irritable, was frequently the source of annoyance for her traveling companions. However, Kitty's slight improvement did do some good, for she was now able to perceive that something was not quite right in her sister's latest account of Brighton.

When Kitty received the letter from Lydia, she by this time understood that Wickham was interested in only two things--and as Lydia had no money, his intentions must point in a different direction. At least, she suspected this to be the case--and she immediately shared the content of the letter with Lizzy, who urged her to tell Mrs. Gardiner. The Gardiners, in turn, sent expresses to both Colonel Forster and Mr. Bennet, halting whatever relationship might have been building between Lieutenant Wickham and the youngest Miss Bennet. Satisfied that they had done all they could, they continued on their journey.

A return letter from Brighton, also sent by express, caught up with them a few days later. Nothing particularly untoward had been found between the two--at least anything beyond a mildly improper flirtation was vehemently denied by both parties. However, others in the regiment had started to turn against the lieutenant, for his debts to both the local merchants and his fellow officers had mounted precipitously. Colonel Forster suspected that Wickham would soon have no recourse but desertion, and thanked Mr. Gardiner for drawing Wickham's actions to his attention. As for Lydia, he pledged to keep a closer eye on the girl, until he heard from her father whether she might be fetched home sooner than had been planned, or whether she might stay out her entire visit.

This reply did not entirely satisfy her Aunt and Uncle--for they had not heard from Mr. Bennet on the subject, but they had little choice but to persist northward and enjoy themselves all the same.

Pemberley was not in their direct road, nor more than a mile or two out of it. In talking over their route the evening before, Mrs. Gardiner expressed an inclination to see the place again. Mr. Gardiner declared his willingness, and the girls were applied to for their approbation.

"My love, should not you like to see a place of which you have heard so much?" asked Mrs. Gardiner of Lizzy. "I have heard that you are a particular favorite of Mr. Darcy." (It must be said, in Mrs. Gardiner's defense, that she had heard none of the more suspicious rumors about the subject, merely some of Mr. Bingley's offhand remarks.)

"I'm not so sure that that should be a reason to see it--for Mr. Wickham passed his youth there as well--so should that not be as much reason to avoid it as Mr. Darcy's living there a reason to see it?" asked Kitty, who really had no opinion either way, but who had recently started to attempt clever conversation in imitation of her friend.

Lizzy was distressed. She wished to go to Pemberley, and yet was not sure she could stand to do so. Finally, feeling the others' stare, she was obliged to assume a disinclination for seeing it. She owned that she was tired of great houses; after going over so many, she really had no pleasure in fine carpets or satin curtains.

Mrs. Gardiner abused both their stupidity. "If it were merely a fine house richly furnished, inhabited by men of our acquaintance," said she, "I should not care about it myself; but the grounds are delightful. They have some of the finest woods in the country."

Lizzy said no more -- but her mind could not acquiesce. The possibility of meeting Mr. Darcy, while viewing the place, instantly occurred. It could be dreadful! She blushed at the very idea, and thought it would be better to speak openly to her aunt than to run such a risk. But against this there were objections; and she finally resolved that it could be the last resource, if she could not determine the matter herself.

When she retired at night, she asked the chambermaid whether Pemberley was not a very fine place, what was the name of its proprietor, and, whether the family were down for the summer. She thought from Bingley they would be, and was not sure whether to be disappointed or relieved at the chambermaid's answer.

Thankfully, the girl turned out to be the genial sort, willing to give whatever information she thought relevant for tourists. "I've heard it to be the case, Miss, that they are. There was supposed to be a large party of visitors as well--or so my sister said, but they have not appeared. Only Mr. and Miss Darcy are to be found there now. It would be such a treat if you should see the family on your tour. But such a thing never occurs! The Darcy family likes its privacy, it does. They don't lord their wealth. The housekeeper is a fine sort. She makes a visit worth your time, so says the other visitors. Lots of pretty rooms and paintings and the like."

When the girl had gone, Kitty looked at her in amusement. "The name of its proprietor indeed? What a funny question! As if you did not know."

Knowing that she could say nothing without saying everything, and not trusting Kitty with such information, Lizzy forced a silent smile.

"But Lizzy, why do you not just tell the housekeeper that you know Mr. Darcy? He may choose to come and see us after all. Not that I want to see him so very much. But it would be a good joke, don't you think, to show up without an invitation in such a way!"

"Kitty! Mr. Darcy would certainly frown at such impropriety. He's the most important man in the vicinity, not some silly officer."

"Bah! You have hid it well, but I daresay you are as frightened of Mr. Darcy as I am. Very well, but it seems silly to be in his house without actually seeing the man."

Chapter Twenty-Three

Lizzy, as they drove along, watched for the first appearance of Pemberley Woods with some perturbation; and when at length they turned in at the lodge, her spirits were in a high flutter.

The park was very large, and contained great variety of ground. They entered it in one of its lowest points, and drove for some time through a beautiful wood stretching over a wide extent.

Lizzy's mind was too full for conversation, but she saw and admired every remarkable spot and point of view. They gradually ascended for half a mile, and then found themselves at the top of a considerable eminence, where the wood ceased, and the eye was instantly caught by Pemberley House, situated on the opposite side of a valley, into which the road with some abruptness wound. It was a large, handsome stone building, standing well on rising ground, and backed by a ridge of high woody hills; and in front a stream of some natural importance was swelled into greater, but without any artificial appearance. Its banks were neither formal nor falsely adorned. Lizzy was delighted. She had never seen a place for which nature had done more, or where natural beauty had been so little counteracted by an awkward taste. They were all of them warm in their admiration; and at that moment she felt that to be mistress of Pemberley might be something!

They descended the hill, crossed the bridge, and drove to the door; and, while examining the nearer aspect of the house, all her apprehensions of meeting its owner returned. On applying to see the place, they were admitted into the hall; and Lizzy, as they waited for the housekeeper, had leisure to wonder at her being where she was.

The housekeeper came; a respectable-looking elderly woman, much less fine, and more civil, than she had any notion of finding her. They followed her into the dining-parlor. It was a large, well-proportioned room, handsomely fitted up. Lizzy, after slightly surveying it, went to a window to enjoy its prospect. The hill, crowned with wood, from which they had descended, receiving increased abruptness from the distance, was a beautiful object. Every disposition of the ground was good; and she looked on the whole scene -- the river, the trees scattered on its banks, and the winding of the valley, as far as she could trace it -- with delight. As they passed into other rooms these objects were taking different positions; but from every window there were beauties to be seen. The rooms were lofty and handsome, and their furniture suitable to the fortune of their proprietor; but Lizzy saw, with admiration of his taste, that it was neither gaudy nor uselessly fine; with less of splendor, and more real elegance, than the furniture of Rosings.

"And of this place," thought she, "I might have been mistress! With these rooms I might now have been familiarly acquainted! Instead of viewing them as a stranger, I might have rejoiced in them as my own, and welcomed to them as visitors, my friends."

The thought of being a mistress of such a large estate was a rather daunting one, but it did not lessen her regret.

She longed to inquire of the housekeeper whether her master was in the house, but had not courage for it. At length, however, the question was asked by Mr. Gardiner; and she turned away with alarm, while Mrs. Reynolds replied, that he was, adding, "I daresay he is about, though he usually makes himself scarce around visitors."

His wife now called the girls to look at a picture. They approached and saw the likeness of Mr. Wickham suspended, amongst several other miniatures, over the mantelpiece. The housekeeper came forward, and told them it was the picture of a young gentleman, the son of her late master's steward, who had been brought up by him at his own expense. "He is now gone into the army," she added; "but I am afraid he has turned out very wild."

"Has he!" said Kitty, but a quick glance from Lizzy quieted her.

"And that," said Mrs. Reynolds, pointing to another of the miniatures, "is my master -- and very like him. It was drawn at the same time as the other -- about eight years ago."

"I have heard much of your master's fine person," said Mrs. Gardiner, looking at the picture; "it is a handsome face. But, Lizzy, Kitty, you can tell us whether it is like him or not."

Mrs. Reynolds's respect for the girls seemed to increase on this intimation of them knowing her master.

"Does these young ladies know Mr. Darcy?"

Lizzy colored, and said -- "A little."

"And do not you think him a very handsome gentleman, ma'am?"

"Yes, very handsome." She felt the blush spreading. Her very toes felt on fire.

Kitty made a face, but said nothing to dispute the notion.

"I am sure I know none so handsome; but in the gallery up stairs you will see a finer, larger picture of him than this. This room was my late master's favorite room, and these miniatures are just as they used to be then. He was very fond of them."

This accounted to Lizzy for Mr. Wickham's being among them.

Mrs. Reynolds then directed their attention to one of Miss Darcy, drawn when she was only eight years old.

"And is Miss Darcy as handsome as her brother?" said Mr. Gardiner.

"Oh! yes -- the handsomest young lady that ever was seen; and so accomplished! She plays and sings all day long. In the next room is a new instrument just come down for her -- a present from my master."

Mr. Gardiner, whose manners were easy and pleasant, encouraged her communicativeness by his questions and remarks; Mrs. Reynolds, either from pride or attachment, had evidently great pleasure in talking of her master and his sister.

"Is your master much at Pemberley in the course of the year?"

"Not so much as I could wish, sir; but I dare say he may spend half his time here; and Miss Darcy is always down for the summer months."

"If your master would marry, you might see more of him."

"Yes, sir; but I do not know when that will be. I do not know who is good enough for him."

Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner smiled. Lizzy could not help saying, "It is very much to his credit, I am sure, that you should think so."

"I say no more than the truth, and what everybody will say that knows him. I have never had a cross word from him in my life, and I have known him ever since he was four years old."

Lizzy thought that she had heard several such cross words, but could not blame him for it. Nonetheless, she longed to hear more, and was grateful to Mr. Gardiner for saying –

"There are very few people of whom so much can be said. You are lucky in having such a master."

"Yes, sir, I know I am. If I was to go through the world, I could not meet with a better. But I have always observed, that they who are good-natured when children, are good-natured when they grow up; and he was always the sweetest-tempered, most generous-hearted boy in the world."

"His father was an excellent man," said Mrs. Gardiner.

"Yes, ma'am, that he was indeed; and his son will be just like him -- just as affable to the poor."

Lizzy was impatient for more. Mrs. Reynolds could interest her on no other point. She related the subject of the pictures, the dimensions of the rooms, and the price of the furniture, in vain. Mr. Gardiner, highly amused by the kind of family prejudice to which he attributed her excessive commendation of her master, soon led again to the subject; and she dwelt with energy on his many merits as they proceeded together up the great staircase.

"He is the best landlord, and the best master," said she, "that ever lived; not like the wild young men nowadays, who think of nothing but themselves. There is not one of his tenants or servants but what will give him a good name. Some people call him proud; but I am sure I never saw anything of it. To my fancy, it is only because he does not rattle away like other young men."

"This fine account of him," whispered Mrs. Gardiner as they walked. "You have apparently struck a friendship with the best man in England! Seems a shame that my sister did not think so."

Lizzy smiled. That Mrs. Bennet disliked Mr. Darcy immensely was no secret in Meryton.

On reaching the spacious lobby above, they were shewn into a very pretty sitting-room, lately fitted up with greater elegance and lightness than the apartments below; and were informed that it was but just done to give pleasure to Miss Darcy, who had taken a liking to the room when last at Pemberley.

"He is certainly a good brother," said Lizzy, as she walked towards one of the windows.

"She enjoyed the surprise very much. But this is always the way with him," she added. "Whatever can give his sister any pleasure is sure to be done in a moment. There is nothing he would not do for her."

The picture-gallery, and two or three of the principal bedrooms, were all that remained to be shewn. In the former were many good paintings; but Lizzy knew nothing of the art; and from such as had been already visible below, she had willingly turned to look at some drawings of Miss Darcy's in crayons, whose subjects were usually more interesting, and also more intelligible.

In the gallery there were many family portraits, but they could have little to fix the attention of a stranger. Lizzy walked along them, looking in vain for what she knew she would not find--that is, any hint of resemblance to herself. Finally, she beheld a striking resemblance of Mr. Darcy, with such a smile over the face as she remembered to have sometimes seen when he looked at her. She stood several minutes before the picture in earnest contemplation, and returned to it again before they quitted the gallery. Mrs. Reynolds informed them that it had been taken in his father's life time.

When all of the house that was open to general inspection had been seen, they returned downstairs, and taking leave of the housekeeper, were consigned over to the gardener, who met them at the hall-door.

As they walked across the lawn slowly towards the river, the group turned back to look again; and while Mr. Gardiner was conjecturing as to the date of the building, the owner of it himself suddenly came forward from the door which they had lately existed.

Had Lizzy been able to ascertain anything about that moment, she would have noticed that he look hurried, as if he had just interrupted some other business to go running toward the door. He was slightly out of breath, and while in control, his face was just slightly too red for the meeting to be entirely coincidental.

This she did not see. Instead she stood still as a statue as he came toward them. When they were within twenty yards of each other, their eyes finally met, and the cheeks of each were overspread with the deepest blush. He advanced towards the party, and spoke, if not in terms of perfect composure, at least of perfect civility.

"Miss Bennet, Miss Smith!" he cried, looking all the while at Lizzy, though acknowledging the other first. "I thought it was you that I spied through the window."

It was quite apparent that he had not thought --nay, that he had merely run, without any plan of what he might say. He stopped his speech abruptly and smiled, sheepishly, and ran one hand through his hair.

Lizzy could not yet speak. Her blush and inability to look Darcy in the eye spoke volumes to the others in the party, and finally Kitty, recollecting that he had greeted her first, stepped forward.

"Mr. Darcy, we see you after all! I told Lizzy we ought to greet you, but she thought it would not be proper, without an invitation."

He smiled, in spite of himself. "Certainly not! But that does not keep me from inviting you now that I have seen you. I hope you are both well. That is, I know you are well, for I received a letter from Bingley just this morning. He said that you were both in Derbyshire, and I had only just started to hope that I might have the pleasure of your company--and here you are!"

This was as many words together as Kitty had ever heard him speak. She knew his excitement could not be on her behalf and started to have suspicions, even as her Aunt and Uncle had the same. Her Uncle, who was standing to the side, made a sound like he was clearing his throat, and Darcy's attention was drawn likewise.

"Pardon me, Miss Bennet. Will you introduce me to your friends?"

Had his first appearance, or his resemblance to the picture they had just been examining, been insufficient to assure the other two that they now saw Mr. Darcy, the gardener's expression of surprise, on beholding his master, must immediately have told it.

Kitty made the introduction. Darcy seemed not surprised by the connection, undoubtedly knowing of their company from Bingley's letter. He spoke to the Gardiners who immediately proved their genial nature. Lizzy listened most attentively to all that passed between them, and gloried in every expression, every sentence of Mr. Gardiner, which marked his intelligence, his taste, or his good manners.

The conversation soon turned upon fishing; and she heard Mr. Darcy invite him, with the greatest civility, to fish there as often as he chose while he continued in the neighborhood, offering at the same time to supply him with fishing-tackle, and pointing out those parts of the stream where there was usually most sport. Mrs. Gardiner gave the girls a look expressive of her wonder. Lizzy said nothing, but it gratified her exceedingly; the compliment must be all for herself. Her astonishment, however, was extreme, and continually was she repeating, "Why is he so altered? From what can it proceed? Even when he favored me, his manner was never so friendly. It cannot be for me -- it cannot be for my sake that he is so very kind and inviting. It is impossible that he should still love me."

At last, he recollected that they had been about the see the gardens.

"Miss Smith," he said, turning towards her. "I know that you do so like to walk and are undoubtedly restless to begin your tour. But I wonder if your party would mind taking some refreshment first. Then my sister and I might join you-- for we generally walk out on most days and have not done so yet today."

Lizzy allowed herself to smile broadly in hope, even as her blush never lessened. That he was willing to introduce her to his sister showed at least that he had forgiven her--and indeed that he accepted her company even in his own neighborhood. Her letter had done some good, then. "I would very much enjoy such an outing, sir. That is if Mrs. and Mr. Gardiner do not object."

"Certainly not," said Mrs. Gardiner smiling. "We should be delighted."

It must be confessed that Mr. Darcy barely heard this concurrence. He offered his arm to that lady in politeness. But his eyes were entirely on the beaming girl before him, and did not stop looking at her, until he was forced to turn toward the door. Mr. Gardiner followed with the two younger ladies-- the elder of these needed the escort, for her power of walking in a straight line without support had momentarily abandoned her.

Posted on: 2009-02-21

Chapter Twenty-Four

If Mrs. Reynolds was surprised when the Gardiners returned only minutes later as guests of the master, she did not demonstrate it. Mr. Darcy absented himself to locate his sister and she showed them into a pleasant parlor, not on the earlier tour.

An awkward silence followed as three pairs of eyes landed on Lizzy, who was still blushing. Finally, Mr. Gardiner looked to his niece.

"Well now Kitty, you shall not be fatigued so today as you were yesterday," he said, referring to an earlier incident in their travels. "Not with such great hospitality to grant you rest."

"Yes, 'tis very kind of Mr. Darcy. I shan't have expected it," said Kitty, with a hint of sarcasm, having not taken her eyes off her friend.

"I wonder why not. He seems a very kind man. There is something a little stately in him, to be sure," replied her aunt; "but it is confined to his air, and is not unbecoming. I can now say with the housekeeper, that though some people may call him proud, I have seen nothing of it."

"He is perfectly well-behaved, polite, and unassuming," said Mr. Gardiner. "I was never more surprised than by his behavior to us. It is was really attentive; and there was no necessity for such attention. Mr. Bingley was not exaggerating about his friendship with Lizzy."

"He and I have gotten along well enough," managed Lizzy, aware that any moment that the subject of their conversation would come through the door. "But you saw-- he did address Kitty first."

"If I did not share a name with my sister, he would not have known it," declared Kitty. "We have hardly spoken three words to one another since our meeting."

"Thus it is clear that this is a compliment to you, Lizzy. And for that I thank you," smiled Mrs. Gardiner. "For now we shall have a true tour of the grounds, don't you think?"

This led to a short conversation about Pemberley, such that would flatter the master, should he hear it, as he would undoubtedly soon walk into the room. Lizzy said little-- indeed the conversation was primarily between the two married people. Kitty lounged, enjoying the rest, and Lizzy waited in such anticipation that every muscle was tense by the time he appeared.

Miss Darcy and her brother did appear, and the formidable introduction took place. With astonishment did Lizzy see that her new acquaintance was at least as much embarrassed as herself. The observation of a very few minutes convinced her that she was exceedingly shy. She found it difficult to obtain even a word from her beyond a monosyllable.

Miss Darcy was tall, and on a larger scale than Lizzy; and, though little more than sixteen, her figure was formed, and her appearance womanly and graceful. She was less handsome than her brother; but there was sense and good-humour in her face, and her manners were perfectly unassuming and gentle. Lizzy, who had expected to find in her as acute and unembarrassed an observer as ever Mr. Darcy had been, was much relieved by discerning such different feelings.

Her companion accompanied her, and it was only with this woman's prompting that Miss Darcy remembered to ring for refreshment. By this point, Mr. Darcy seemed to have recollected the necessity for his own embarrassment and was silent as well, though he finally managed to begin a conversation with Mr. Gardiner continuing their discussion from before. Mr. Gardiner was fond enough of the sport of fishing that this was possible, and it passed the time well enough.

Meanwhile, most of the conversation amongst the ladies took place between Mrs. Annesley, the aforementioned companion of Miss Darcy, and Mrs. Gardiner. Kitty was too much in awe of her surroundings to say very much, Miss Darcy too shy, and Lizzy too much occupied with other feelings. Finally, after they had taken some refreshment, Darcy turned to her.

"I would very much like to reiterate how pleased I was to see you from the window, Miss Smith. I would have been very disappointed to know that you had been to Pemberley and I had not been here to greet you. I hope you are pleased by it. As pleased as you were as a child, at least."

"Indeed, I am. It is more beautiful than I remember. And I have seen much more of it than I did then. I had never seen inside the house."

"I am glad you think so." He smiled. "And now to the grounds! I am infinitely inferior to the gardener but I think can give you some interesting and useful knowledge about the plants and arrangements."

She smiled. "I have no doubt that you will speak with great authority about your own land."

"I do not doubt that you are correct, Miss Smith. I have learned my lesson. I will not speak again about such things as are so dear to me unless I know exactly what I am about."

Her blush returned in full force, and had the room not been so full of people, there might have been a long conversation followed by a declaration of the most tender kind. Instead, he gave her a soft glance and turned to the rest of the party, in order to urge them again out-of-doors. .

The tour was all that it should have been. If Mr. Darcy failed to give them some of the details that the gardener may have, his honest pride for his home more than made up it in sincerity of manner. The group of six or seven had a charming amble about the grounds that ended only with a genuine fatigue exhibited by some of the ladies.

During the course of the walk, it was not often that Lizzy could turn her eyes on Mr. Darcy himself; but, whenever she did catch a glimpse, she saw an expression of general complaisance, and in all that he said she heard an accent so far removed from hauteur or disdain of his companions, as convinced her that the improvement of manners to everyone, not just herself, seemed permanent. When she saw him thus seeking the acquaintance and courting the good opinion of people with whom any intercourse a few months ago would have been a disgrace -- when she saw him thus civil, not only to herself, but to her friends, and recollected their last lively scene in Hunsford Parsonage -- the difference, the change was so great, and struck so forcibly on her mind, that she could hardly restrain her astonishment from being visible. Never, even in the company of his dear friends at Netherfield, or his dignified relations at Rosings, had she seen him so desirous to please, so free from self-consequence or unbending reserve, as now, when no importance could result from the success of his endeavors, and when even the acquaintance of those to whom his attentions were addressed would draw down the ridicule and censure of the ladies both of Netherfield and Rosings. He could often be easy with her in the past but she never before had seen him as so easy with others, and it pleased her to know that he wished to entertain the dearest of her acquaintance.

To Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner he was scarcely a less interesting personage than to herself. The suspicions which had just arisen of Mr. Darcy and their Lizzy directed their observation towards each with an earnest though guarded inquiry; and they soon drew from those inquiries the full conviction that one of them at least knew what it was to love. Of the lady's sensations they remained a little in doubt; but that the gentleman was overflowing with admiration was evident enough.

If Kitty and Georgiana sensed a love story in the works just in front of them, they did not acknowledge it to the other. Their conversation was stilted, but Kitty was a friendly girl, and they were also able to pass the time in a pleasant enough way. It would not prove to be a memorable tête-à-tête. If asked what they spoke of some time later, Kitty might have replied "bonnets," and Miss Darcy "music." Nonetheless, they would always speak fondly of each other in the future--indeed, in Kitty's case, she would refer to Miss Darcy as quite a dear friend. They would indeed become friends someday much later, when Kitty married a nearby clergyman, but for now, their conversation was far too uninteresting to detail.

After the long and rambling walk, and a subsequent few minutes in front of the house, the four visitors finally made their excuses, given that they had been traveling many days. Mr. Darcy called on his sister to join him in expressing their wish of seeing Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, Miss Bennet, and Miss Smith to dinner at Pemberley, before they left the country. Miss Darcy, though with a diffidence which marked her little in the habit of giving invitations, readily obeyed. Mrs. Gardiner looked at Lizzy, desirous of knowing how she, whom the invitation most concerned, felt disposed as to its acceptance, but Lizzy had turned away her head in some confusion. Presuming rightly that this studied avoidance spoke rather a momentary embarrassment than any dislike of the proposal, and seeing in her husband and niece, who were both fond of society, a perfect willingness to accept it, she ventured to engage for her attendance, and the following evening was fixed on for the engagement.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Their arrival in Lambton was a joyous homecoming for a full half the members of their little traveling band, and the whole next day was spent in renewing acquaintances and exploring old footpaths. Mr. Gardiner was no less thrilled to see his wife's former home, and Kitty was much taken with the little town as well, and so insisted on buying some bauble at Lambton's equivalent of Ford's to express her satisfaction.

Miss Smith herself experienced one of the more happy days of her life. No one recognized her without prompting and those that did gave her more kindness and subtle deference than she had come to expect as a child. After one lively conversation with an older acquaintance, that woman complimented the former Miss Adams on the fine job she had done in raising such a clever and pretty lady. The woman who gave the compliment had no sense of artifice, and Lizzy was happy that she was so seen by others.

This welcome along with the knowledge that she was to see Mr. Darcy again, and that he was not unhappy with her, made her almost giddy with excitement. Any doubts that the Gardiners had had about her affections soon disappeared. This was the manner of a girl flush with love, and with some confidence that that love was returned. Both of the couple were concerned--for having just met the man, they could not know his intentions. But they were wise people and bided their time on the matter. As for Kitty, she was too in awe of the Darcys and Pemberley to say very much at all, and instead contented herself with admiring every bit of the town.

Kitty was of much assistance when it was time to change for dinner, however. Somehow sensing that Lizzy's appearance mattered very much that evening, she gave herself over to it.

Such small moments of friendship, when two girls together dress for an important event! Lizzy drew Kitty's stays and Kitty pinned up Lizzy's hair, and the two sent the maid attending them both into quite a state, for of course the younger had shared with that girl that they were to dine at Pemberley that evening. Poor Betty, who otherwise might not have been so conscientious, had two sisters in service at the big house, and knew quite well that the Darcys only entertained the most illustrious of personages. Her amiability and deference that evening would eventually pay off in a quite material way, but hers is a story for another volume.

In the end, both girls shone in the best they had brought with them--in Lizzy's case her best appropriate for the summer, a new piece in light blue that her allowance had stretched to purchase. Miss Gosford had insisted on some tasteful ornamentation, and the other two expressed their great satisfaction with it. Lizzy felt slightly overdressed, for she had never before worn a gown quite so fine, but finally nodded her satisfaction. "For," she finally told herself, "If I am to entertain the possibility at all, I must be able to dress to be worthy of Mrs. Darcy of Pemberley. If I cannot be at least comfortable in her clothes, I shall have a hard time of it indeed."

Finally, they were finished, in time for Mrs. Gardiner to enter and give her approval.

She complimented her niece first and then looked at Lizzy, almost her sister, and smiled. "You look like a queen, dearest."

"I wish I might have such a gown, for I am sure I would look well in it." said Kitty, brushing down her own simple white skirts.

"Nonsense," clucked her Aunt, her usual tone returning. "A girl such as yourself in the first flush of womanhood does well to dress simply. You look pure and natural and well. And I have no doubt that Miss Darcy, young as she is, will look accordingly this evening."

This appeased Kitty, and she took only one more look into the glass, before the ladies joined Mr. Gardiner in the hall.

Miss Darcy was indeed dressed in a similar fashion. Her simple cream-colored gown was made of the finest materials, but she looked like little more than a girl as she shyly greeted her guests. Mr. Darcy momentarily seemed as shy as his sister, but he very politely spoke to them all. As the ladies more than doubled the men, as he went to escort Mrs. Gardiner into dinner, Mr. Gardiner did the same for his sister. Kitty deferred to her Uncle, leaving Lizzy on his other side.

"Miss Smith," he said quietly, in acknowledgment but said little else.

When the meal was served, however, the presence of food and utensils and other diversions brought both of them back to their usual lively spirits. Lizzy spoke merrily with the others, and even succeeded in bringing Georgiana into a long conversation about their mutual interest of music. Mr. Darcy smiled in approval at this conversation, and then turned to ask Miss Bennet of her sister's latest wedding plans. This question left Miss Smith also smiling in approval, and during a pause in her conversation with Miss Darcy, turned and spoke with him.

"Sir, I did mean to thank you, on behalf of Jane, for handling that particular business of Mr. Bingley's. I know he was able to leave London so quickly only because of your assistance," she said, hoping her meaning was disguised enough for the others. It was.

He gave her a somewhat discomfited smile. "I only did what a friend should have done. It was a minor business, after all, something that was easily dealt with."

"You and Mr. Bingley share common interests then?" asked Mr. Gardiner, who was used to talking of trade at dinner. Mr. Darcy murmured in the affirmative, and said something about estates, which led the two into a long discussion on all sorts of gentlemanly concerns.

Lizzy was happy though, for she said what she meant to, and gave him a wide smile, that could only be interpreted as full satisfaction on her part with him, before turning back to Georgiana to ask her a question about the style of her new pianoforte. Mrs. Annesley, contented that her charge was comfortable with her new friend, was able to converse with Mrs. Gardiner about her children, and Kitty added comments to all three conversations, changing her attentions when she grew bored. And so the dinner, a fine one, it must be added, went.

After the meal was finished, it was decided that cards would be brought out.

"We must play whist, for my sister is an excellent player, and hardly gets a chance to play," said Darcy, making Georgiana blush.

As the game allowed only four, his sister objected, but he would not be swayed.

"You should partner with Miss Bennet, and play her Aunt and Uncle, if you like," replied Darcy merrily. "For I know that Miss Smith despises playing cards when there are books to be had, and I have the very book of poetry that caused us to have quite an argument the last time we met. Now that I have the volume on hand, I should like to have her opinion on it."

Miss Smith, who had gladly agreed to cards a moment before, looked rather askance, as did Mr. Gardiner, who looked like he might say something for a moment, before choosing instead to remain silent.

"But then you have left Mrs. Annesley without a place in the game," whispered Georgiana, in a shocked voice.

"Never mind that, Miss Darcy," said the woman in question, glancing keenly at her employer. "I shall just look over my new friend's shoulder," (this while motioning at Mrs. Gardiner). "For, as your brother said, you are a well enough player, and I've no doubt your opponents will need my help."

This was so merrily said that it led to a number of claims to great card playing ability that threatened to overtake the company in mirth before the game was even begun. Lizzy did receive a troubled glance from Mrs. Gardiner and she had no doubt that she would have to partake in a rather serious conversation with that lady on the morrow. In the meantime, she could only enjoy the attention he was so obviously paying her, and trust in him that it would lead to a most respectable and desirable outcome. She followed him through a large open archway, where a few volumes lay on a table. He motioned for her to sit.

"I do not remember arguing over a poem, Mr. Darcy," she said lightly, as she lowered herself into the chair. "But I will gladly reread it, if only to hear your opinions, which I greatly respect." There was indeed a book of poetry on the table before her, which she remembered briefly discussing with him, as well as a few other volumes.

He frowned as she spoke, and she worried briefly that she had assumed wrongly about his attentions, when he quickly glanced back into the main part of the room where the others were lively conversing. "It is my father's diary," he said in a low tone. "You will wish to read the marked passages."

She looked at him, and stuttering softly, said under her breath, "You found this… for me…"

He ignored her and instead placed the volume before her at the desk and opened it to the first of the two markers, his hand smoothing down the yellowed parchment before resting on a date. Her own fingers began to shake as she placed them on the volume, just below his. He briefly brushed her hand with her own before abruptly removing it and drawing further away.

Nervous with anticipation, Lizzy glanced over the page. The entry he had pointed to was dated March 24, a little more than twenty-one years before. It took a minute to decipher the close script, but she eventually found the passage that he meant for her to read.

Received a letter from J. He has made the governess with child. 'Tis a shame and a bother. He is rather wracked with guilt. Tho' the girl is gentle born, nothing can be done, for there is a wife. Have promiƒed to help, for he will not abandon it.

Lizzy felt her breathe hitch within her. She looked up at Darcy but he was staring out the window, away from her. She hurriedly flipped to the next marked page, dated over a year later, and found the paragraph in question near the bottom of right leaf.

The babe was delivered to the curate's widow today, as I had previouƒly arranged, etc. I called there briefly, which will undoubtedly create some talk. She is seven or eight months of age, with good health and v. beautiful. J. means to make her a woman of some minor means. I have not seen J. in some time; Anne is still diƒapointed in him to have produƒed a baƒtard. My wife is again lowly.

That was all. Lizzy looked back down in hope and began the next date's entry, which stopped abruptly at the bottom of the page.

May 10
In the night, my deareƒt wife was taken again with much pain. There was tisƒue and bleeding, etc. She is reƒting and is quite low in spirits, and remembers aloud our beloved Thomas. Fitzwilliam will not leave her bedside and so has angered his tutor. L. has written that Catherine suffers much from the same malady. This was the fifth time Anne has bled in such a way.

Audibly exhaling, she looked up at the tall man standing next to her, more than one tear in her eye.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Posted on: 2009-02-25

At the sound of her breath, he turned toward her in expectation. He looked rather unsure of himself.

"Your poor mother," she said, and smiled faintly up at him. "Now I understand. I am so very sorry."

He looked surprised, and then realized that she must have read to the bottom of the page.

"She was ill so many times," he said softly. "But that is a story for another day. You have nothing to be sorry for, Miss Smith. It was I who insulted you that evening. For you were more right than you knew. You are who you thought you were. Not that it matters so very much. What I said was inexcusable in any case. But before I apologize, I must thank you. I would have never read the volume otherwise. It told me much about my parents that I would not have otherwise known. I am sorry I do not know more about your own parents, though hopefully the diary tells you something."

She nodded and gave him a small smile of thanks. "Do you have any idea of who "J" might be?"

He grimaced. "My father was not consistent in the way he shortened names. Half of his family and friends shared the initial. I have compiled a list--it marks the poem that I called you over here to discuss."

She opened the book of poetry to see a passage with which they both might have been familiar, and marking it, a piece of parchment that listed no less than thirty names. "Oh my," she gasped, seeing the name at the top of the page.

"I thought of every J. acquaintance of my father's between twenty and sixty that might have had a governess in the house. He was most likely not my Uncle though," he added, when she pointed at the name that had made her gasp. "While his Christian name indeed begins with a 'J,' I have no memory of any governess being dismissed from their household. Indeed, I remember her as a very stern-faced middle aged lady as little like you as I could imagine. I wish I could help you further."

She sighed, and moved the parchment to farther back in the volume, lest one of the others interrupt their tête-à-tête. "It is no matter."

"No matter?" He drew back, looking almost disappointed.

"No! I mean it matters very much. You have given me more knowledge than I ever thought I might have. I now have both a father and a mother and a skeleton of a story. You do not know how much it means to me. And I shall think on it many times in the future, I promise you. But now I must be contented."

He ran a hand through his hair, and sighed.

"I wished to give you what you desired, Miss Smith. I am sorry I could not."

"Could you not?" she whispered. I was perhaps, an unsuitable thing to say, but she was in earnest, and Darcy knew it.

"Have your desires then changed, Miss Smith?" he asked in barely a whisper, looking at her intently.

A dozen images flashed through Lizzy's mind, the primary one of herself leaving Derbyshire having not spoken her peace. It was too much for her. She willed herself to look into his forceful stare.

"I have made a horrible mistake, sir. I have spent many years dwelling on the past, on the imaginary love of a family I could not have. And it made me so very blind to the present. So terribly blind."

"And now you see." They were four simple words, but she would always remember them.

Lizzy nodded. The room beyond was forgotten, the sounds of the whist game faded into the background. He was next to her, their hands together on the poem that neither of them cared to read.

He gave one last glance to the others, who still seemed intent on their game. "Elizabeth," he said in a hoarse tone. "I will call tomorrow at the inn, and ask you properly, if you wish. But I need so very much to know. Do you wish to be my wife?"

She nodded again. "There are still many things we must discuss, sir. And I do not know my guardian's position on the matter. But for your sake, and for the sake of my own feelings, which are so very true, when you ask me tomorrow, I will say yes."

"Then I will ask, my dearest Elizabeth." He squeezed her hand, smiling, and sat back.

After one long moment, the spell was broken. His face was again a mask of indifference, the type of which she had seen many times before. She could not do likewise and was thankful when he was able to speak for them both.

"No, I simply will not concur, ma'am!" he said in a louder voice a moment later, as if they had been the whole time adamantly discussing poetry. "A Shakespearean sonnet is infinitely preferable to this modern nonsense!"

"You are not a very good actor," she hissed, laughing merrily, for his ridiculous statement could have fooled no one, but it had succeeded in bringing her out of the tender moment that had so entranced her.

"What are you saying, Fitzwilliam?" called his sister, turning from her chair. "Wasn't it Blake that you had me fetch from the library? You adore Blake."

"He is merely quoting one of the girls in the school back to me, Miss Darcy," laughed Lizzy, closing the book quickly. She was amazed at her own amusement with the situation. How could she not be at ease when all was right in the world? "This particular student ends all discussions on poetry and prose with similar adamancy. It is quite droll and ridiculous."

"Well done," whispered Darcy beside her.

"Which girl is that?" asked Kitty, as the couple finally rejoined the rest of the company.

"Why Alice of course," said Lizzy, silently apologizing to her absent friend. "You probably never heard her say it, of course. Now, who won the game?"

"Miss Darcy, as promised, overwhelmed the competition," said Mr. Gardiner, giving a keen glance at the younger man. "I am surprised you did not hear my niece's shouts of satisfaction, though it was her partner that made all the clever plays. But then you were so very involved in your discussion of literature." The last was said in a somewhat strained tone, for the man was quite protective of his young charge.

"Mrs. Gardiner, will you still be at Lambton in the morning?" asked Darcy, turning quickly to her.

"Yes, sir, for another several days."

"I should like to call on you all in the morning, and then afterwards invite Mr. Gardiner for some fishing at Pemberley, if he is agreeable to it. But I will not disrupt your existing plans, if you have any."

"We ladies were to call on Mrs. Grant tomorrow, but I see no reason not to delay the visit a few hours, sir," said the lady in reply. "For I know that my husband would like nothing better than to fish away the afternoon, if you let him."

"Indeed I would like nothing better," said the man in question. My wife and the girls make fine company, sir, but I would be very happy for once to secure an afternoon bereft of the fairer sex."

"Excellent." Darcy glanced at Lizzy. "For there is some matter of business that I would very much like to discuss with you."

"A matter of business? We had different terms for it in my day, but whatever you like."

Poor Georgiana, who had not understood any of the talk, smiled at Mrs. Gardiner. "Mrs. Henry Grant? The curate's wife?"

"Indeed-- the very one. I was born in their house. My father predated the Rev. Grant at his post."

"Why, I have not seen her in some time! Mrs. Annesley does not always like to go so far. Perhaps, if you don't mind, I might accompany Fitzwilliam tomorrow and go with you to call on the Grants."

"I have no doubt she would be honored by such a visit, Miss Darcy, if your brother does not mind."

"No, indeed. I would like it very much if Georgiana should further her acquaintance with Miss Bennet and Miss Smith. I shall order the carriage first thing. I will drive you to Lambton, Georgiana, and return with Mr. Gardiner, and trade you out again in the afternoon."

Georgiana looked very happy, and for the first time in the evening, her smile completely overcame her shy nature. "Brother, can we take the curricle instead? I'm sure the weather will be very fine."

"Will you have me look a dandy to all the citizens of Lambton?" Upon seeing her crestfallen look, he smiled. "Of course we may, but whenever we see another, I will take the reins!"

Everyone laughed merrily, and Mr. Gardiner added, "I, for one, will have no problem riding to Pemberley in such a vehicle. When you are as old as I, Mr. Darcy, it is no small thing to be perceived of as a dandy, as you say, and I shall revel in it."

"No racing, though, mind you," added Mrs. Gardiner. "For I've four children to feed."

"Oh! no one should try to race him," said Georgiana innocently. "I'm quite sure it is the fastest in the county."

Plans thus made for the following day, and it still being early, a hush fell over the room. The unacknowledged lovers had much to say, but could not say it, Georgiana retreated a bit into her shell, and the three elder people were slightly preoccupied with what may or may not have happened at the other end of the room. It was Kitty who finally broke the silence.

"I wonder that there has not been music. I am no good myself. But Lizzy is fine enough, and you have all spoken so much of Miss Darcy's ability that I question that no one has asked her to show off."

"Very well said, Miss Bennet," said Darcy, smiling. "Miss Smith, would you delight us?"

"I defer to Miss Darcy, of course," said Lizzy. But Georgiana was again bashful, and also motioned to Miss Smith, who subsequently took her spot at the pianoforte. She sung a light song of love, such that reflected her mood, and sung so prettily that at least one member of the audience was entranced.

Georgiana was then convinced to play, and Kitty to sing with her. The first performer did her best not to overwhelm the second, but Kitty was a poor singer and knew it. Thus, Miss Darcy ended up singing the two last stanzas along with her new friend-- if only to help her along-- and the whole effect was pronounced a very sweet success. Despite her shyness, Miss Darcy had a mischievous streak. Having been so forced into singing, she was determined to do the same to her brother, and offered to play for him.

Kitty, who had lost some of her awe of this new Mr. Darcy in the previous hours, urged him likewise, and soon the entire room was in favor of hearing him sing.

"I suppose that there can be no harm, this being a family party," he finally said. His sister started at the description, and wondered at it all through the subsequent song.

He sung well. Though not as well-practiced as Georgiana, he was well-trained and had a strong voice, and the company gave him hearty applause at the end of it. It was fortunate that Miss Darcy had the piece nearly memorized, and she was able to look to her brother while he sang, and the recipient of his obvious glances. She began to more fully understand the situation, and stood immediately when the song was over.

"But we must end tonight's entertainment with our guest," she said as loud as she dared. "Miss Smith, I have a lovely duet here-- do you know it? You and my brother would execute it so very well together."

It just so happened that Lizzy did know it, and had once performed it before in company, with the eldest Lucas son at a small party. Somehow, this happening felt entirely different, however, and while she could not think of an excuse to not play again, she could not stop the blush that she had so firmly checked from again conquering her. He obviously felt the same, but leading her again to the pianoforte, he also did not object.

It was, of course, a song of love, and she faltered her way through the opening stanza. But when he leaned over her to turn the page, and she felt his breath against her, she realized that for the first time, she could sing the words and mean them, and she thought of the master at the school, when he was frustrated with a girl's performance. "But how can you sing of love and passion?" he would cry, in his thick German accent. "For you are young girls! You know nothing of such things!" And so, she over sang the crescendo on the second page to correct her hesitance, and articulated each word as carefully as she meant it. He responded to her, emoting in a similar fashion. By the end, their voices were perfectly joined, for they were only singing for each other.

As the last chords died around them, they awoke again to the fact that they were not alone in the room. An awkward pause followed and then polite applause. Georgiana had her answer, for she did not know what to think. Kitty, likewise, felt mortified, as horrified as she had been when she walked in the door at the very moment Mr. Bingley had proposed to her sister, Jane. Mrs. Gardiner had put her hand in her husband's halfway through the song, and her husband, despite a slowly building internal rage, did not let go. And Mrs. Annesley had at some point closed her eyes and thought of her long dead George.

For her part, Lizzy could not look the others in the eye, for she knew that she had crossed the proverbial Rubicon. It had been all but a public declaration--made without anyone's approval or permission, or even an actual proposal. She took comfort in the fact that Darcy would remedy the situation on the morrow, and of course, the knowledge that his love was what she had sought, and was an affection she returned.

Darcy could not and would not hide in shame. He slowly closed the sheet music, and again offered Miss Smith his hand in order to help her from the instrument. After showing her back to her seat, he looked Mr. Gardiner squarely in the face.

"Did I mention, sir, how very much I am looking forward to our outing tomorrow?"