Posted on 2014-04-25
Author’s Note: This was inspired by the picture/caption on DWG’s homepage, “Bingley, you must introduce me to that beautiful woman!”
Charles Bingley, entrepreneur, resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He had made a mistake. It was an important lesson for him as he had learned that vodka and Will Darcy did not mix well. Unfortunately Charles was not able to appreciate the worth of this new-gained knowledge for he was trying to carry his bigger and therefore heavier friend down the street. It was easier in the city for they had these smart little cars called cabs to get you from A to B. As much as he liked small towns like the one they were currently staying in, they were pretty uncomfortable.
"Binglaay" a semi-conscious Darcy slurred, "I wantt too drink moare. Itt's fun. U zaid itt was ttime for mee ha-ving fun!"
"Yes, Will. We're gonna have a fun-walk home now."
"NO." And with this desperate howl Will sat down on the floor. "I wiiill nott walk too Nu Yoark. That's waay too farr." Charles started to laugh. "Yes, true. But how about spending the night in the hotel?", he coaxed. "You know they have a big bar. There you can drink all you want." Will put his feet up in the air. "NO. Th' nighttt iz youn'. We parrtay on."
There was a long way to grate on Charles' patience. He was a very calm and friendly person up to the point of people laughing at him for his goodness. One of those people was just lying in front of him, trying to walk with his back on the ground and being drunk for the first time in his life. Bingley should have known better. If William Darcy said something was 'no smart decision' it simply wasn't. He had been set against 'going out' and 'having a little fun'. It was actually a small wonder that Charles was able to convince him. Well, actually it was the 'you owe me' card played by Charles that had convinced Will. Considering Will's height and build it was amazing that such a small amount of liquid should knock him off like that. But here they were and for the first time in their friendship it was Charles who was responsible for William. And Charles would do everything possible to excel in doing his duty - if only to avoid the thunder that would arise the next day should he fail.
"Alright now. You get up and I'll find us a good place to party on."
"Ohkaaaay." Charles watched Will rolling over the concrete. "Charly?"
"He'es a whall. Cannot goe on."
"Err... yeah. Wrong way. Turn around. Yes ... stop. That's a good boy." He gave him his hand and pulled him up.
"Yeah?" he sighed.
"I am a-floaatin'."
"Yes. Gravity's on holiday tonight. Come on, Hulkster. We need to find a water hole."
The street did not seem to have an end. Maybe it was due to Will's weight that they only made a mile per ten hours but Charles had to drag him on. Will walking was clearly no option. Fortunately there was a little park ahead of them, consisting of a couple of benches and a drinking fountain. He managed to pull Will up and fell heavily on the seat next to him.
"You certainly need a diet, my friend. What's your weight? A ton?"
"I'm a-feelin' lite as aa feath'r. I m a-floatin'" and with this Will slipped down on the ground.
"You're earth bound tonight."
Will grew restless. "Waaait. What's that?"
Will staggered up and tumbled in the direction of a statue, just to stop short about eight feet in front of it. "Binglayy..." he hissed back. "Binglaaay." Charles sighed once more and walked up to him. Will's arm fell on his shoulder and he felt the alcohol-woven breath next to his ear.
"Binglaay. Y-you m'st intr'duse me to that beatyfuul wo-man."
"sshe's an anjel."
"Actually she's a goddess. Plate says it's Fortuna."
"Who's demanding my presence?"
Charles jumped as a woman's voice echoed through the night. Will showed a goofy grin.
"Who are you, mortal?"
"'m Willliaam Darcay. Pl'zed to meet ya."
Charles overcame his surprise and walked around the statue. He was sure that somebody was hiding behind it, but he only found another patch of grass.
"What is your demand, Williaam Darcay?"
""Will, let's head back to the hotel. Somebody is fooling us."
"You take me for a fool, Binglay?"
"'e haz no maanner'z. Forg't 'bout 'im."
'Binglay' rolled his eyes and went to the bushes growing on the side still trying to find someone playing goddess.
"U're vary beatyfuul, Mizz Fore-tuna."
There was a pause. "You take me for a flirt, Williaam Darcay?"
"Noh. 'take ya fore a waif."
Another pause. "That's not possible, mortal. What is your demand?"
"Every mortal beseeching the Goddess of Fortune has leave to ask for a favor to ease his fate."
"What are you wishing for, mortal?"
"I wanta ---"
"Marrying the Goddess is out of question, mortal."
"Ow ..." Will put his head down. His voice was quieter as he went on. "Soo, ur twruely granting wishes'?"
"The ones I can grant I will grant, mortal."
"I wishta be a better man."
There seemed to be a sigh. "Now, that's a good one. But the only one able to grant this wish is you. ... Mortal."
There was a car driving up the road. "As your demand is out of my might I took the liberty to grant Binglay's wish. Fortuna Redux will be with you." A cab was stopping and the magic spell was broken as the driver asked whether he was wanted. Charles took Will's arm and pulled him up to the cab muttering "At least we have a ride home. I hope there won't be any weird videos online showing you flirting with a pile of stone."
Will Darcy, well-known businessman, resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He was afraid of any sudden movement as it meant pain. The sun was shining bright and he was sure it was too bright. The cars moved too loudly and his body moved too heavily. And his smartphone was too far away. He couldn't remember much of the night before. He had watched the game with Bingley in some run down pub and had a fair share of vodka. He remembered being repelled by the sharp taste at first but as with caviar you could get used to strange tastes. The next thing he remembered was waking up. Waking up at 11 o'clock, that is. He never slept that long. Sleeping that long means you cannot catch on the day. His Grandma used to say that any person sleeping longer than 10 o'clock cannot handle the day. And boy, she was right. He couldn't handle anything today. His head throbbed and thudded, his mouth tasted foul and his limbs would take no direct orders. He decided that drinking was never a smart idea. Nevertheless he made a point of appearing in control of himself to Bingley. He had considered asking his friend what had happened and why his suit was so dusty but then he had decided against it. Bingley voice was just too cheery and too loud. He had shouted his "Good morning" to all of the States, William was sure. When Will realized that his smartphone was missing he wanted to get frantic, but couldn't. No hassle today. He gave notice to his provider so it was put off. Then he gave notice to Bingley, a very cheery and loud Bingley, and suggested to search. He let Bingley come up with suggestions where to search as he had no idea where they had been. And this is how he got here: a little diner straight across a shabby park. They had tried the pub, but it was not open yet and then they went up a very long street and then they had searched this park. Bingley grew hungry and was rather determined to eat in this 'charming little diner'. Darcy realized that he could have something to drink there and that it wouldn't be that bright inside, so he agreed. He had not agreed had he known that this diner consisted of a waitress as cheery as Bingley. Had he known that Bingley and this waitress would present all their cheeriness to each other, he would have made a beeline for the next tree and put himself beneath it. But he had not known and so he was in this diner, slurping water, and he watched Bingley eating a repelling amount of food and he listened to Bingley complimenting that waitress who seemed to be the cook and the owner as well. It was sickening.
As another young woman entered the diner, that waitress - Jane - left their table with the promise to bring Will some coffee and talked to the newcomer. She was apologizing for waking the newcomer that early, but she needed a replacement as her waitress called in sick today. If she would be so good to change her clothes and take over the service. Will glanced at his watch. It was one o'clock.As the two chattering waitresses left for what was eventually the kitchen Bingley started talking to Will. "Isn't Jane sweet? Now she's a real angel." And he grinned like some idiot who had made a real good joke.
"Angels do not smile that much."
"Come on now, Will. Stop moping. She's great and beautiful and unbelievable kind. I like her."
"You like everyone."
"I'll ask her to go out with me... or maybe to drink a coffee."
"You're here to work, man. Don't let me do the work while you're flirting with every skirt."
"Don't get grumpy on me. I don't care for your hangover. Be a nice guy. I'll ask her. If you want to, ask the other girl that just came in. She looks nice and we could go out as a foursome." Bingley grinned and looked to the kitchen door.
"Don't be an idiot, Bingley. I certainly won't ask a little waitress who sleeps till noon for a date. She's not even able to bring me my coffee before it's cold." Bingley stopped grinning and Will watched as his coffee was placed on the table in front of him. He looked up and saw 'that little waitress' smiling a little bit too politely at him. He stared and tried to think of something to say. But every little bit of thinking caused his head to ache more. She smiled even wider and after few seconds she bent down and whispered in his ear "A better man would have said thanks." Then she winked at Bingley and went back to the kitchen.
"Will, sometimes you're such a ... ."
Will shrugged and headed to the restroom.
Fortuna, Goddess of Fortune, did not resist the urge to roll her eyes. While it was fun to watch these two, who were by fate meant to be together, they were amazingly slow in acknowledging their fate. Of course she had to put a few very tiny rocks in their path. Elizabeth had dared to mimic her. It was too easy to make a drunk believe he spoke to a goddess when he actually listened to a speaker of the Meryton Park Security System. Maybe it was not nice to give Kitty, Jane's waitress, a cold the next morning, but it served well to get back on Elizabeth by letting her put on a service shift in the diner after working a night's shift for her uncle's security company. A hangover and a tired girl should be mere pebbles in the course of true love. Unfortunately Elizabeth and William had a talent to build entire mountain chains out of a few teeny-weeny stones. Elizabeth had been right, when she had stated that William had to make his own wish come true. But Fortuna was determined to make Elizabeth his assistant. So Fortuna had a year and a half full of entertainment before these two stubborn creatures followed their assigned path.The End