Chapter 1

Posted on 2010-09-19

Across the table her husband wrinkled his nose in distaste as he ate a spoonful of potato stew. She knew that in the next second he would be glaring at her, so she immediately turned her attention to her own bowl.

The potatoes had an ashy, burnt taste that the strong vegetable stock did not quite mask, but she fought down the urge to gag.

He was not deterred though, instead commanded her attention by letting his utensils clatter onto the plate.

She swallowed the unpalatable bite, and looked up with a school expression of indifference.

"Do you honestly expect me to eat this?" George demanded.

"I have no expectations on the matter, husband, I only know that for the moment it is all we can afford," Lydia answered.

With a sigh of exasperation he stood and deposited his plate harshly onto the sideboard, "I see that my expectations were too high in believing you could at least keep a table."

"Our income seems to been significantly lesser this month," Lydia answered looking at him angrily, "perhaps, if you spent less on drink, there would be more available to improve our menu."

"And what place is it of yours to dictate how my money is spent?" he demanded, "A proper wife keeps the home with what she is given!"

"And a proper husband provides for his family," Lydia answered.

"Family?" George asked, "What family do you speak of? I see none here."

Realizing her misstep too late, Lydia turned back to her plate blushing.

George stepped toward her until he was standing next to her chair, "Yet another matrimonial duty you are, apparently, unequal to fulfilling."

She steeled herself, making no answer as he stood watching over her intently for a moment. Upon realizing he was not going to be successful in making her weep he huffed and stormed from the room. She listed to the thud of his boots in the hall, only letting out her breath when she heard the front door slam behind him.

She looked at her bowl, but found that any appetite she'd had for the food was now gone. She moved her plate over to the sideboard next to George's.

By passing the drawing room, Lydia went straight to her husband's office and searched through the drawers of his desk until she found her prize in the bottom drawer. With a shake of her head she poured a small snifter. Of course, though they could not afford meat or even decent vegetables, George would keep a fine Scottish whiskey.

Replacing the bottle in the drawer she drank down the small glass and let its warmth calm her nerves. She took a brief moment to regain her composure before leaving the room. In the hall she met the maid, Mrs. McCullam, coming out of the dining room.

"Are the dinner dishes taken care of?" Lydia inquired.

"Yes, Madam," Mrs. McCullam answered.

"Thank you. My husband will be out late tonight and I shall retire early," Lydia said turning up the stairs.

"Begging your pardon, Madam, but there is matter on which I must speak with you."

"Tomorrow," Lydia dismissed, "I am not feeling well, so, as I have said, I shall retire for the evening."

"I must insist it be this evening," Mrs. McCullam replied, staying her progress with a grasp on her sleeve.

"Remove your hand from my person at once!" Lydia turned sharply to her. The woman complied, looking only mildly chastised.

"How dare you address me in such a manner?"

"I beg your pardon, Madam. However, the matter which I wished to bring to your attention was that it is the end of the month," Mrs. McCullam answered, "The point it was agreed upon I would receive my wages-"

"You shall receive your wages when I see fit!" Lydia snapped, "As your employer such a matter is my concern, and it is not your place to go around demanding-"

"This is going on the third month in a row that I have received no compensation," Mrs. McCullam interrupted, frustration overcoming her usual decorum, "Normally, I would not presume to question, but I have mouths to feed as well, Madam. My daughter is widowed, and my grandson is just recently recovering from a fever he was stricken with this past winter."

With a tired sigh the older woman calmed herself to a respectable state, and continued, "I am afraid that I must insist I receive what I am owed tonight, or I shall not be able to return tomorrow."

After a long moment of uncomfortable silence Lydia finally answered, "Very well then. You are formally dismissed, Mrs. McCullam, and I hope you will not have the audacity to ask about any sort of severance."

Mrs. McCullam received the answer stoically, before shaking her head and answering "I would not presume, Madam."

With a dignified curtsy the woman turned to show herself out.

The door closed behind her, leaving Lydia standing alone it what suddenly seemed a very empty house. She turned and continued up the stairs until she reached her room. She shut the door securely behind her, and took a seat in the comfortable chair by the fire. When the ache in hear head subsided enough to think clearly, she contemplated her situation.

George would be furious when he found out. She would have to tell him eventually, but there would be no living with him once the time came. The next month was coming, so George should be bringing home at least some pay. He would, no doubt, spend nearly all of it tonight at the tavern and wherever else he went. However, if there was one thing her husband was good at, it was avoiding his debts so there should at least some money for food.

How long did she need to make it last for? A fortnight at the very least. Newcastle was so far from any of her family.

Mrs. McCullam was gone, but she still had the cooking girl to prepare meals, and with the right combination of bullying and bribes she should be able to convince her to perform extra cleaning duties as well. At least for long enough.

She twirled the silver ring on her finger. It wasn't a fine jewel. It had been a gift from her mother and father when she first came out, but it should fetch a good enough price to cover travel expenses. The only question now was where to go.

She could go to Hertfordshire, but over the years she'd been finding her mother more and more trying with each visit. Mary was, of course, out of the question for a visit to her would mean endless proselytizing on the proper way to run a house. Elizabeth and her Aunt Gardiner, though less vocal, would be just as bad with their silent judgments.

Lydia lamented that Kitty was not yet married. It had always been easy remain in control of her closest sister.

However, as it was, Jane was her best option. She would have to tread lightly for Jane was no pushover like Kitty, particularly since becoming a mother, but she still had a sense of family loyalty that would not allow her to refuse her own sister admittance to her home.

Yes, she would send an express to Jane tomorrow.

Chapter 2

Posted on 2010-12-18

Lydia's plans came together surprisingly quickly. She managed to charm the broker she met with into paying more than her ring was worth. She also sold a gaudy broach that her Aunt Phillips gifted her a long time ago.

She had more than enough to travel to London, and managed to use the rest to buy enough flour, fresh potatoes, and mutton to last two weeks. The cooking girl, Lucy, also harvested some wild parsnips and winter herbs from the small garden outside their home.

All in all, it was the first time in almost two weeks that they had fully satisfying meals at the Wickham house. George, predictably, complained about the lack of variety in their menu after a few days, but Lydia ignored him and used her allowance, instead, to pay enough to George's creditors to temporarily appease them, and provide Lucy with a hefty bribe in exchange for her silence about Lydia's travel plans until the day of her departure.

That day came following a short, but tense, week and a half after sending out her express to Jane. After receiving an affirmative response, Lydia arranged for transportation, and soon found herself watching as the porter carried her trunk out to the waiting carriage.

She left her note for George, explaining her plans to winter with the Bingleys in London. She also mentioned, briefly, Mrs. McCullam's departure, and that, as she would be away for an extended period, she'd instructed Lucy to look to himself for her monthly wages.

Lydia smiled to herself at that. She was not sure whether Lucy would soon be seeking new employment, or if necessity would finally force George into some financial responsibility, but, either way, she was glad she would not be around to witness the outcome.

As the carriage pulled away, she looked back at her little home with a twinge of sadness. She remembered when they first moved into the residence five years ago. At first she had been appalled by the size of it, for it was incomparable to her family home at Longbourn. Soon, however, it became a matter of pride since she was the first of her sister's to marry, albeit, not by much as Jane and Elizabeth both wed less than year after herself (and became mistresses of much larger estates). For those reasons, she became determined, for a period, to make it an proper abode of domestic felicity

Now, however, she couldn't but admit, at least to herself, that it was hardly home at this point. Therefore, with resolve, she turned her gaze only to the road ahead and settled in for the long trip to London.

The trip was without event, so much so as to render it tedious. Lydia, though no particular enthusiast for needlework, took hers up to pass the time.

After two and a half day's journey, she arrived in front of her sister's home at Grosvenor Street where she was greeted warmly, though with restraint, by Jane and her husband.

Lydia managed to fight the urge to react though, and, after a few initially tense days, she settled in with her hosts.

Jane and Lydia had frequent visitors to distract them from the awkwardness of living under the same roof after being apart so long, and, to her own surprise, Lydia found herself genuinely enjoying the antics of her nephews, Peter and Thomas. They were two rambunctious, mischief prone boys of three and five, who frequently exasperated even their gentle natured parents.

Lydia had to settle for laying somewhat low due to her limited funds, but she had enough get by thanks to a guarantee in her marriage contract that she receive fifty percent of the monthly stipend that her wedding fortune was paid in. It was a meager amount, and, at the time, she had not been interested in that detail of her marriage. However, she was grateful for it now, in that it was out of George's reach, due to a further stipulation that it be distributed by private solicitor only, whom she made arrangements with to have the allowance available to her in London.

The only truly trying moment came upon meeting Elizabeth again when the Darcy family arrived in London. However, once Lydia was removed from her second eldest sister's presence, she found she hardly had the energy to think of her. Elizabeth was with child for a second time, so, although not at the time of her confinement yet, her activities were limited. Jane endeavored to keep Elizabeth company, and Lydia did not protest this action at all, as she was content to be out of her sisters' presence.

With the Christmas season approaching, she occupied her time sewing gifts. She made a toy elephant out of blue muslin and goose down for Peter, a new cravat for Thomas, which she knew he would hate, and various embroidered handkerchiefs for the rest of her relations. She was in such good spirits that she was even inspired to make a doll with several changeable outfits for her niece, Charlotte. Elizabeth would, no doubt, make some comment about the impracticality of the gift for a child of only two, but Lydia could not bring herself to mind.

Overall, she felt satisfied with her situation for the first time in as long as she could remember. She would have to return to George eventually, but it need be no time soon. After the winter in London she could spend part of the spring at Longbourn. It would give a good long time for George to realize that a permanent post and residence was difficult to keep without a wife to maintain his home, and offer him respectability in the eyes of both the community, and higher ranking officers. Yes, things, certainly, would work out in the end.