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Chapter 23
Elizabeth stared at the gun. "What do you want, Pete?"
The man, Pete, smiled. "It's about Wickie, Lisa."
"What about him?" Elizabeth was alert now.
"He's in some deep sh#t," said Pete. "He's been double-crossing the boss, ya know. Cheatin' him out of his money. And ya know the boss ain't gonna stand for nothin' like that. It's suicide, if you ask me, but he still don't seem to get it."
"What's that got to do with me?" asked Elizabeth, still staring the gun past Pete.
"We need Wickie, and you know where he is. That simple."
"Wait a minute, I don't know where he is," said Elizabeth.
"Sure you don't," sneered Pete. "Come on, Lisa. You think I'm stupid? You're Wickie's number 1 girl. If you don't know, who knows? Don't make me hurt you..."
"You stay away from her," interrupted William, who had been watching the exchange in silence.
"What've we got here?" Pete inspected William. "Fresh meat, eh Lisa?"
"Pete, leave him alone, he doesn't know," said Elizabeth hurriedly. She looked at William, "William, please, let me handle this." She turned to Pete. "I honestly don't know where Wickie is. But, I can help you find him..."
"How?" Pete was interested.
"Wickie is going to contact me soon," said Elizabeth. "And I'm going to pick up the message. In fact I was going to my apartment to see if there was anything there..."
"No can do. The cops have the place locked up good," said Pete with a shake of his head. "Nardo's dead. Know anything about that? Was at your place, apparently. Seems suspicious, no?"
Elizabeth felt a tear sting in her eye. "I didn't do it, Pete. Believe me."
"If I do, then what, kid? What about Wickie?"
"Well, he's going to want to see me soon, I expect," said Elizabeth. "And if he does, I'll tell you where he's at, so you can go bust him."
"And what do you get out of it?" asked Pete suspiciously.
"My freedom," said Elizabeth. "That's all I want. Nothing more. I'll give you Wickie if you'll let me go..."
"Now, you know about that, Lisa...it ain't possible..." began Pete.
"If I ever snitch, you'll know where to get me," pleaded Elizabeth. "What good will it do me to ever testify? Please, Pete, help me do this. Please."
Pete looked at Elizabeth, then William. He sighed. "I'm getting soft in my old age...but if I did go through with this, how do I know you won't turn around us 5 years from now?"
"You have my word, Pete," said Elizabeth solemnly.
"Your word?!" exclaimed Pete incredulously. "Yeah, that'll do me a lotta good."
"Please, trust me..." pleaded Elizabeth.
Pete sighed again. "And you'll help us find Wickie?"
"Yes," nodded Elizabeth. "So?"
"You got yourself a deal, kid," said Pete. "You know where to find me?"
"Yes," said Elizabeth.
"Good, I'll be expecting you, then," said Pete. He nodded briefly at William and motioned for the man with the gun to follow him. They vanished into the darkness as suddenly as they had appeared. William watched their departure for several seconds. When they were out of sight, he looked at Elizabeth, who sighed in relief.
"Well, that was close," muttered William.
"I'm sorry you had to see that," said Elizabeth.
"Why? It was very interesting," said William.
Elizabeth looked at him. "But this does help us. We won't have to fake your death anymore. With the Mafia hunting Wickie down, there's no way he can escape. In many ways, that's more effective than going to any law enforcement agency."
"Who was he talking about...someone named Nardo?" William suddenly asked. She stared at him. He seemed curious. "Who was that?"
"An old friend," said Elizabeth, looking away. "He...he was killed in my apartment."
"Wickie?" guessed William.
Elizabeth nodded. "That's how I got shot in the leg. Wickie was trying to kill me and poor Nardo...he just was in the way. He didn't deserve to die..." She brushed off a tear. "I feel responsible for him. But there's not a thing I can do about it."
William watched her in silence. He wanted to say something compassionate and comforting, but he didn't. He didn't have the courage to. He felt somewhat of a coward, but there was no helping that now. Instead, he asked, "So, now what?"
"I wait for Wickie to contact me."
"And how exactly will he do that?" asked William. "If you can't go to your place, how will he contact you?"
"There's this club that we always used as meeting places. The bartender knows me and I'm almost sure that Wickie will leave a message for me there," said Elizabeth.
"What if he comes there himself?"
"He won't," Elizabeth shook her head. "Guys like Pete hang around there. He wouldn't dare show up in a place like that. Whatever Wickie might be, he's not stupid. He would never risk his life like that."
"So, are you going there now?"
"Yes. It's not far from here. I can walk," said Elizabeth. She began walking away.
"Hey, where do you think you're going?" called William. "Do you think I'll let you go alone?"
"You don't have to do this," said Elizabeth. "You've done enough, William. I can handle it from here. It's not a place you usually frequent. You wouldn't be able to stand it, I can tell you."
"Let me decide that, will you?" said William. "Either way, I'm coming with you."
"Why?"
"Because I like sleazy clubs?" quipped William. Seeing that she was serious, he added, "I don't want you getting hurt, that's all. And besides, this is very educational."
Elizabeth sighed. "Shouldn't you call Gina or something?"
"Yeah, I'll tell them what's going on," nodded William. He took out his cell phone. "Wait for me in the car. I'll be right there."
Half an hour later; ---- Club
The dense smoke that hung as a cloud above the heads of the patrons was blinding and the pervasive stench of cheap alcohol almost nauseating. There were quite a few people there considering the late hour. William and Elizabeth found an unobtrusive seat where she had a good view of the bartender. She found him looking in her direction from time to time, but he made no attempt to approach her. William, on his part, contended himself to look around and observe the various characters frequenting the club. She was right. This was not the kind of establishment he was used to.
"I'll have to get this dry cleaned," said William, indicating his expensive Armani suit.
Elizabeth repressed a giggle. "Don't say I didn't warn you."
"I'm not complaining," said William. "It was just a comment."
"Right," said Elizabeth skeptically. "I can see you're having a horrible time, William. Why don't you just leave?"
"No, he said emphatically. "I'm staying."
"Suit yourself," shrugged Elizabeth. Then, she looked at him with a small smile. "I'd split your dry-cleaning bill if I had any money."
He looked at her and smiled, "Don't worry about it."
At that time, the bartender approached their table. "Can I get you guys something?"
"No, thanks," said William.
"And you?" he looked at Elizabeth.
"Nothing, I'm fine," said Elizabeth, not removing her eyes from him.
"Alright," he reached for the cup on the table and left.
Elizabeth looked at the piece of paper that had been dropped in her lap and picked it up. She looked at it and read it aloud, "987-6757."
"Wickie, you think?"
"Who else? He wants me to call him."
"Do you recognize that number?"
"No," Elizabeth shook her head. William offered her his cell phone, but she refused. "Caller ID," she reminded him. "We want him to think you're dead, remember?"
"Of course," said William.
Elizabeth found a pay phone and with a deep breath, dialed the number. The phone was allowed to ring several times before it was picked up. "Hello?" said Elizabeth cautiously.
"Lisa?" It was undoubtedly Wickie's voice.
"It's done," said Elizabeth in a small voice.
"Already?"
"I want my sister."
"Hold on, how do I know you're not lying?"
"You'll see it in the news, I'm sure," said Elizabeth. "Besides, I don't kid about this kind of stuff. You asked me to kill him and I did." She shuddered even as she said those words. "Now you have to keep your end of the deal."
Wickie laughed on the other end. "So anxious to see your sister? She's quite a looker, ain't she?"
"You stay away from her!" cried Elizabeth, her skin crawling. Wickie laughed even more. "Now, can you tell me where I can find my sister?"
There was a brief pause. "Just remember, you try and pull a fast one on me and the pretty face dies..."
Elizabeth's throat went dry. "Yes, I know..."
"Alright, then meet me here...," He have her an address. "She's gonna be here. But no cops, remember. And no funny business."
"Yeah," said Elizabeth, jotting the address down and nodding at William.
"See ya soon, babe."
Elizabeth hung up and stood silent for a minute. Then she looked at William and said, "We're on."
2 hours later
Elizabeth and William were crouched in his car, waiting for some sign of struggle from within. It had been a good 5 minutes since Pete had entered the building with his cohorts. But there was still no sign of activity within. A sick fear crept into Elizabeth's heart. What if he had lied to her about the address? What if it was just a test? Was he watching them? Did he have Jane somewhere else? What was he going to do? The worst part was not knowing the answer to any of these. William lay a reassuring hand on her shoulder and she managed a small smile. What was it that Rick had said...? Think positive. Yes, that's exactly what she needed to do.
Minutes later, shots were heard from within the building. It was a signal for William and Elizabeth to go inside. They cautiously crossed the street and entered the building themselves. Once inside, they followed the sound of the struggle till they were at the door of an apartment. The struggle was assuredly on the other side of the door. William looked at Elizabeth, then turned the knob. The scene awaiting them was a surprise. Pete was standing with his men holding Wickie, a gun pointed to his head. When he saw William and Elizabeth, his anger seemed to increase.
"You b&%#!," he screamed.
"Take him away," commanded Pete.
"I'll get you for this," shouted Wickie. "I'll get you both. Just wait and see."
"You're not going anywhere soon," said Pete. "Let's go," he told his men. He turned to Elizabeth. "Thanks, Lisa."
"My pleasure," she assured him.
Pete smiled as he left. William looked at the apartment. "I can't believe he actually fell for it."
"I guess he's stupider than I thought..."
"He just didn't think you would risk anything. He couldn't have known about Pete."
"I guess not," said Elizabeth. She looked around the room. "Jane must be here."
"Let's look around."
They went in opposite directions, looking for Jane. Elizabeth went into the kitchen, then the small bedroom. The place was filthy and smelled of the cigars that Wickie was fond of. The stench was almost unbearable, but Elizabeth thought nothing of it. She crouched and looked in every corner, hoping and wishing. Just when she was almost ready to give up, she heard William call her name. She got up and went to the room where he was standing, his face ashen.
"I think I've found her..."
Chapter 24
Elizabeth's mouth dried as she heard William's low voice and saw his solemn face. She mentally braced herself for what she might have to witness. How had she so smugly believed that they had outwitted Wickie that easily. Why had she even trusted him when the possibility of his keeping his end of the bargain had always been slim. How could she have risked Jane's safety in that manner? Elizabeth quivered with anxiety and apprehension as she approached William. He did not speak and stepped back as she came closer. And then she saw her sister. Jane was lying, gagged, on the floor, next to the bed; still, almost lifelessly so. Her arms and feet were tied with a thick rope and several bruises were painfully visible. Elizabeth shuddered as she sank to her feet.
"Jane, Jane, can you hear me? Please wake up...," She untied Jane's arms and feet as William removed the gag. Next, Elizabeth checked Jane's pulse, looked at William and said with a sigh. "She's alive! My god, she's still alive. Thank you lord." Elizabeth felt tears streaming down her face.
"She's probably drugged," said William, observing the motionless Jane. "I thought..." He trailed off because it was too horrible for him to continue.
"I know," she nodded. She looked at her sister for a moment. "Let's get her out of here."
William agreed and helped Elizabeth stand up. Then, with one swift movement, he picked up Jane in his arms and slowly walked out of the apartment, with Elizabeth close at his heels. As she exited the building, she sighed in relief. The first rays of sunlight were peeping from behind the clouds. Elizabeth followed William to the car and thanked the stars that had allowed her to rescue her sister, comparatively unharmed.
5 hours later; William's house
"How is she doing?" asked Gina.
Elizabeth looked up from her cup of coffee. "Still sleeping."
Gina sat down on the kitchen table next to her. "Is Charlie still in there?"
"Yeah," nodded Elizabeth slowly. "He's watching her for me." She paused, then said, in almost a fearful voice. "Is William sleeping?"
"Yes," said Gina. She studied Elizabeth for a moment. "You must be very tired. You should sleep, too."
Elizabeth could not dissemble her tiredness; it had been a very long, grueling and emotionally draining day for her. The flurried activity of the night had taken its toll on her, but she obstinately refused to go to bed just yet. "No, I have to speak with Jane first."
"But she might be asleep for hours," persisted Gina. "I'll wake you up if she asks for you. Now go, you need your rest. There are guest rooms up there. Feel free to sleep wherever you wish."
Elizabeth looked at Gina. "I can't be such a burden on you. You've opened your house for my sister and I can't thank you enough for that, but I don't expect you to extend the same courtesy to me."
"What do you mean?" Gina looked at Elizabeth, confused.
"Look, you don't have to be nice to me," said Elizabeth. "You don't owe me anything."
Gina seemed a little surprised. "What makes you think that I'm only trying to be nice? Maybe I really care about what happens to you and Jane?"
"Gina, please, you don't have to...," Elizabeth searched for words. "I know how you must feel about me. At least, I know how your brother feels about me and I don't want you to feel obliged in any way to be hospitable..."
"My brother loves you," said Gina softly.
"He used to, but not anymore."
"I know Will and he's not that fickle," said Gina. "He still loves you and respects you and so do I. I don't want to judge you or your past in any way. It's none of my business. All I want to do is make Will happy and you're the only one who can make him happy."
"You couldn't be more wrong," sighed Elizabeth. "I'm the last person he needs."
Gina sighed. "Look, you're tired. Please, we can talk about this later. Just get some rest, okay?"
Elizabeth began to protest, but seeing that Gina was determined, she consented. "Alright, I will, but if Jane wakes up, can you please get me?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Thanks."
1 hour later
Gina was reading a book, sipping some coffee, when Charlie emerged from Jane's room. He sat down on the empty chair, wordlessly. Gina closed the book and looked at him. "Is she still asleep?"
"Yeah," nodded Charlie. "She sleeps like a baby. What're you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at work?"
"No," Gina shook her head. "I'm on call later tonight."
"And William?"
"He's sleeping, and so is Lisa."
Charlie only said, "Oh." He got up and poured himself some juice. "It was a rough night for all of us, but Jane especially. Thank god she's alright."
"She's lucky that she didn't have any serious injuries," remarked Gina. "Only a few bruises and the bump on her head from being dragged on the floor." She shuddered as she said those words. "Poor Lisa. Must be awful to see her sister like that."
Charlie murmured in agreement. "I'm not letting Jane go back to the hospital. She was doing better before she was kidnapped. I'm going to take her back to my house where she'll be safe."
Gina did not have a chance to reply, as William came to join them. He sat down and asked, "How is Jane doing?"
"She's resting," Gina informed him. "What about you? How do you feel?"
"Much better," said William with a little sigh. "Where's...?"
He didn't need to finish the question. Gina said, "She's sleeping upstairs."
"Oh," muttered William.
"Have you talked to her, Will?" asked Gina.
"About what?"
"You know what," said Gina. "She thinks you hate her. You don't hate her, do you?" William did not reply. "You don't hate her, Will, I know it. But she doesn't. She needs to hear it from you."
"She needs time," said William softly. "I'm just giving her some space."
"Maybe she doesn't see it that way," Charlie pointed out.
William looked at Charlie. "How else would she see it?"
"She might think that you still haven't forgiven her," said Charlie. "You have forgiven her, haven't you?"
William was silent for a moment, then he said, "Yes."
"Then, you have to tell her, Will," said Gina. "The sooner, the better."
"I will," promised William with a sigh. "I just need...some time."
Gina was prevented from replying because a voice was heard from Jane's room. It seemed as though she had awoken. Charlie was instantly on his feet, rushing to her room. Gina followed him, but said, "Will, get Lisa."
William hesitated only momentarily, but then, was gone. Minutes later, he and Elizabeth come running into Jane's room. Jane was still lying on the bed, her eyes wide open. Elizabeth walked to her bed and sat down. Jane saw her sister and smiled widely. She whispered. "Lizzy..."
"Lizzy?" Charlie repeated confused.
Elizabeth did not tear her eyes away from her sister. "My real name. It's Elizabeth Bennett."
"Oh," muttered Charlie.
Elizabeth didn't say anything and didn't turn around, even though she could feel William's eyes poring through her. She wondered what he thought of her real name, though she was too afraid to ask. She smiled at Jane. "How are you feeling, Janie?"
"Fine," said Jane. "Although my wrists hurt." The rope had been really tight. "But otherwise, I feel great. Oh, don't cry, Lizzy."
Elizabeth sniffed. "Oh, Jane, I'm so sorry."
"Who was that man, Lizzy?" asked Jane innocently.
Elizabeth sighed. She looked at Charlie and Gina. "Can you give us a few moments alone? I need to talk to my sister." They left immediately. She turned to Jane. "Janie, there are some things that you must know about me..."
"What is it, Lizzy?"
"Jane, after our house burned down, you were committed to the hospital in serious condition and I was broke," began Elizabeth. "I was really scared and had no idea what to do. Then I did something really stupid, something that I regret to this day..."
"What?" prompted Jane, her blue eyes full of curiosity.
"I joined the Mafia," said Elizabeth.
"You what?!" Jane couldn't believe her ears.
"I joined the Mafia," said Elizabeth. "It just happened. I didn't plan it. I lived with it for all these years, hating myself and what I had allowed myself to become. But things changed...something happened and I tried to quit...but Wickie, the guy who kidnapped you got mad and tried to hurt me through you. I'm afraid it almost worked. But it's over now. It's all over. He's gone and I'm free." She paused. "That's my secret, Janie. Sure you don't hate me now?"
Jane looked at Elizabeth for a moment, then smiled. "How could I ever hate you? You're my baby sister. Oh, Lizzy, how you must have suffered!" Saying so, Jane embraced Elizabeth and the sisters cried together for several minutes.
Finally disengaging from Jane, Elizabeth said, "I'd better go call Charlie. He's probably dying to talk to you."
Even in her condition, Jane blushed gracefully. Elizabeth sighed and went outside to get Charlie. He was instantly in the room, followed by Gina. Elizabeth didn't go back inside. She stood outside the room, staring at vacant space until she saw William standing in front of her. She snapped back to reality.
"Hi."
"Hi."
Elizabeth cleared her throat. "I don't believe I thanked you for your help."
"Don't mention it," said William.
"I do appreciate it, though," said Elizabeth. "Without you, Jane might not have been alive..."
"I'm glad I could help," said William, a little awkwardly.
"Well, I have to go," said Elizabeth after a brief pause.
"Where?"
"To a funeral," said Elizabeth gravely.
"Want me to come?" offered William.
"No," she shook her head. "I need to do this alone."
"Of course."
"Just tell the others, please?"
"I will," muttered William and just watched her as she left.
Later that day; The funeral
It was really ironic, Elizabeth thought, that the man who had been almost nameless in life would be thus remembered in death. The gathering at the funeral was quite large. Elizabeth quietly slipped into the crowd, just as the ceremony began. She spied Nardo's wife, Maria in the corner. She was crying interminably; the tears almost inexhaustible. Elizabeth watched her throughout the proceedings, not having the courage to approach her. She didn't know what she would say or how she would bear to say it. Elizabeth heard, "...ashes to ashes, dust to dust..." and she knew that the ceremony was complete. The guests, such as they were, expressed their condolences to the widow. Elizabeth watched from afar and hoped to leave the funeral without discovery. But moments later, she saw Maria walking towards her and knew that she had been spotted.
"Wouldn't you even say 'hello' to me, Lisa?" said Maria.
Elizabeth didn't know what to say. "I didn't think you wanted to see me."
"Well, that's no excuse," accused Maria.
"I'm so sorry, Maria." Tears formed in her eyes. "I really am. Nardo was like a father to me. He was my dearest friend and I never wanted to...hurt him."
"Tell me, Lisa," said Maria. "When he was dying, did he say anything..."
"Only that he loved you," said Elizabeth.
"Oh." Maria was silent.
"I'm really sorry..."
"It's too late for that. My Nardo is gone. And you can be as sorry as you want, but it'll never bring him back."
"I know," Elizabeth said miserably.
"He always wanted to protect you, you know that Lisa? That night, as he was leaving, I begged him not to go. I had a bad feeling and I begged him to say. And you know what he told me? He said that you needed his help." Maria's eyes were moist.
"I'm sorry..." Elizabeth didn't know what else to say. "I'd give anything to change what happened. It should have been me."
"It's a little late for all that," said Maria. "He's not going to come back, no matter what you do. So are you happy with your man now? Nardo gave his life for you to be happy. So, tell me, are you happy now? Did you get what you wanted? Was his sacrifice enough to make you happy?"
Elizabeth felt tears fall down her cheeks. "Maria, I...I don't know what to say."
"Then don't say anything," directed Maria. "You can't say anything. Nardo died trying to protect you and I won't believe he died in vain. Now go and live a long, happy life. There's nothing for you here."
"Maria, please. Don't send me away like this. Be angry. Scream at me. But don't turn me away like this. I would never be able to live with my guilt..."
"That's not my problem, is it?" said Maria. "I can't forgive you, Lisa, for what you did to Nardo."
"It was an accident, Maria. I tried to save him..."
"You didn't try hard enough, did you? He died without good reason. If you weren't so selfish, you wouldn't have involved him in the first place." Elizabeth began to speak, but Maria waved her hand. "Don't, Lisa. I don't want to hear it."
"But..."
"No, let it be. Let Nardo rest in peace." With those words, Maria left Elizabeth's side.
Elizabeth didn't try to stop her. For the remainder of the funeral, Elizabeth stood under a tree, silent, watching the guests convey their condolences and leave. At length, Maria also left with her children. Elizabeth was the last person still there. She walked slowly to Nardo's grave and stood there, motionless, silent, solemn. She could almost hear his voice calling her softly in the wind...Bellezza...She shivered slightly, but did not move. There was nothing left to say, nothing left to do. Everything that ever mattered had been lost and all the rest was shadows and dust.
The next day
William woke up with a distinct feeling of purpose. He had been awake for chief of the previous night, trying to resolve his mind on his next course of action. He had tossed and turned, thinking about what Gina and Charlie had said. As a result, he had decided that he'd talk to Elizabeth and tell her the truth. About what he felt for her. A smile played on his lips as he contemplated the happy days that lay ahead of him. After he was dressed, he went to Elizabeth's room and knocked. In hearing no reply, he peeped in and to his surprise, found the room empty and the bed not slept in. She's with Jane, then, he thought and therefore, went downstairs to Jane's room.
He knocked and heard a soft voice commanding him to enter. Jane was sitting on her bed. "Oh good, you're here," she said when she saw William. "I was just going to call you."
"What is it?" asked William, a little concerned.
Jane looked at him gravely and extended her hand to reveal a letter. "Read it."
A little confused, William opened the letter and pursued its contents. It read:
My darling Jane,I'm writing to you because I know I won't have the nerve to face you. Don't be concerned, my love, if you find me gone this morning. I am leaving New York forever. I never thought it would end like this, but I have no choice. Please don't try to find me. This is for the best. I will do nothing but poison the lives of all whom I love so dearly. Oh, Janie, please understand why I'm doing this. I can't continue to be a burden. I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I'm happier than I've been in the past few years. Well, not exactly happy, but close. I realize I can't change the past, but I can try to move on. I know you'll start a new life with Charlie. He's a special guy and he'll make you happy. I'm sorry because I know I'll miss out on all the important things in your life. But there's no other way, and believe me, you're better off without me. I have just one favor to ask you. Please tell William that...that I'm very sorry, and that I'll never forget Switzerland. He'll understand. It's so hard to say goodbye, dear Janie, but I must...I doubt that you'll ever see me again, but be happy, my dear.
I love you so much. Your baby sister,
Lizzy
A few tears escaped William's eyes as he whispered, "Oh god."
Chapter 25
10 years later; New York City
The flurry of activity that enveloped the city in the peek season of pre-Christmas shopping presented somewhat of a challenge to someone who struggled with every expression of joy, but William Darcy did his best to remain staid in the wake of this activity. He did not see the throngs of people as happy individuals anticipating Christmas, but rather as a homogenized crowd. He failed to recognize the simple joys of the otherwise festive season; the joy of giving, the joy of sharing, the joy of caring. Indeed, the entire concept of holiday cheer seemed almost alien to him. And so, as he walked by the busy, bustling streets, he did not see the subtle happiness or the pervasive contentment. He saw only the selective sights that he wanted to see: the homeless on the sidewalk, the hungry at the corner, the poor on the streets.
William had taken to walking around the city in recent years. He claimed that it helped him see things in a clearer light. He claimed that it helped him see himself in a better light, but in fact, he was running away from himself and his reality with every step he took. If his friends objected, he silenced their concerns with a shake of his head, giving no credence to their objections. Every corner, every alley, every street of the city held some special memories connected to events from the past. William tried to believe that he had forgotten the past, but in his heart, he knew he was lying to himself. He lived in the past, for the past, for what could have been rather than what was. In the streets of the city, he lost, for a few hours, a sense of who he really was and instead, pursued the fantasy of what he could have been. Happy. Content. Alive? For William did not believe that he was any longer alive. Breathing, yes; going through the motions, yes; but alive? No. He had died so long ago that he didn't even remember what it felt like to possess any real emotion. It was the sad, but true fact of his existence, such as it was.
William arrived at a townhouse and stood outside for a minute. Then, taking a deep breath, he climbed the stairs and rang the bell. The door was opened by a striking blonde woman with a soft smile and sparkling blue eyes.
"William! We were so worried!"
"Sorry, Jane, I lost track of time," William kissed her on her cheeks before depositing his coat on the rack.
"Your secretary said that you left your office hours ago," said Jane, closing the door and following him inside. "We figured you'd be around in the city, but still..."
"I know, I should have called. I'm sorry," sighed William. "Is Charlie home?"
"No, he went to get some groceries," replied Jane. "A drink?"
"No, thanks," said William. "I'm fine." He paused, then said, "Where's Lizzy?"
"Upstairs, I think," said Jane. "Do you want me to get her?"
"No, it's all right," said William. "I don't want to disturb her."
"I'm sure she'd be happy to see you," insisted Jane. She went near the stairs and said in a loud voice. "Lizzy! Can you come downstairs? There's someone to see you."
Jane poured herself a drink and sat down. "So, when is Gina coming home?"
"Tomorrow," said William.
"Oh, and is Rob coming with her?"
"I don't know. She didn't say."
"It's been so long since I've seen her. I can hardly wait."
"Yeah," sighed William. "It's been too long."
"I know."
Jane paused as rapid footsteps were heard descending the stairs. Seconds later, a young girl with short red hair and dark green eyes appeared, smiling widely. She squealed when she saw William and ran onto his lap. "Uncle William!"
"Hello, Lizzy."
"Why didn't you come before? I had a tea party," Lizzy pouted.
"Oh, was that today?" William looked honestly surprised. "I'm sorry I missed it, Lizzy. I really am. I'll make it up to you, okay?"
"Okay," nodded Lizzy. "Mom, can we go play in the snow?"
"Not now, dear," Jane shook her head. "It's almost dinner time."
"Please! Uncle William can take me," pleaded Lizzy.
"I said no," repeated Jane in a firm voice.
Lizzy groaned, but said no more. She was still perched on William's lap. "Uncle William, do you want to see what I found in the attic today?"
"Sure," smiled William.
"Goody! I'll be right back. Don't move!" saying thus, Lizzy ran up with energy.
Jane watched her leave and said, "You're so good with her."
"She's a lovely girl."
Jane smiled. Before she could answer, the door opened and Charlie walked in. He deposited the groceries and came to the living room. On seeing William, he exclaimed, "You're finally here! I didn't think you were going to come."
William looked a little guilty. "I'm sorry I was so late."
"It's okay," said Charlie genially. "Is dinner ready, Jane?"
"Yes," nodded Jane. "We were just waiting for you."
At that moment, Lizzy came bounding down. She kissed Charlie enthusiastically and then ran to William. She was holding a picture in her hands, which she now handed over to William for his inspection. "Isn't she pretty?" William did not reply. He was staring at the picture in complete silence. Lizzy looked at him, and said, "Uncle William, isn't she pretty?"
William seemed to recover himself. He looked at Lizzy and whispered, "Yes." He stared at the picture again, then slowly handed it to Jane, who was in the vicinity. Jane looked at it and gasped softly in surprise. She looked at her daughter. "Where did you find this?"
"In the trunk in the attic," she replied. "Who's this, mom? She has red hair. Just like me."
Jane looked at Charlie, concerned, then glanced at William, who was looking away. "Um..."
"Is this Aunt Elizabeth, the one I was named after?" asked Lizzy.
Jane looked distressed. Charlie said, "Yes, dear. It's her."
"Oh, she's so pretty," repeated Lizzy in wonder.
"Um, go wash up, sweetie. Dinner's ready," said Jane, distractedly.
When Lizzy was gone, William suddenly looked up and said, "I'm sorry Jane, Charlie, but I have to go."
"Now?!" exclaimed Charlie.
"Yeah," nodded William. "Say good night to Lizzy for me."
"But..." began Charlie.
"No, please. Don't ask." With those grave words and a sigh, William was gone.
Jane was silent for a minute, then looked at her husband. "Oh Charlie, what are we going to do with him?"
The blustering cold of the day had caused much of the city's population to seek shelter inside, but not William. As he hastily walked away from the Bingleys' townhouse, the cold was the last thing on his mind. He dwelled, instead, on the picture that he had glimpsed for just a moment. That face, that smile, that hair, those eyes. There was no one else who could have that influence on him, no one. Even after all these years, she still held his heart as she had once before. It had always been hers to keep, and yet, she had disappeared from his life forever. Forever. The sheer finality of those words befuddled him. Surely it couldn't mean forever. He would see her again. He had to. Fate would not be so cruel. He just needed to see her once so he could explain, heal her wounds, win her back. William had been telling himself that for a long time. But so far his wishes had been unfulfilled and his prayers unanswered.
He still recalled the day she had left. Just like that. Without any warning and nothing behind her but that one note addressed to Jane. He still remembered how shocked he had been, how panic stricken, how angry, how hurt, how sad. But he had vowed that he'd find her. After all, he had the money and the power, didn't he? He had hired the best private investigators in the country and they had searched for two years before finally giving up. Still, he had persisted, driving to remote cities, stopping every redhead on his way, waiting, hoping, wishing, praying... His search continued for five years, but she had vanished from his life as suddenly as she had come into it; gone, without a trace, without a clue, just simply gone. And that was a fact that he had still not reconciled to completely.
When William finally gave up the search, his life had been in shambles. He had neglected his business and personal life. Gina was worried sick about him. He had ignored his friends, not even making it to Jane and Charlie's wedding because he had been searching for her in Maine. When he finally returned to New York, he immersed himself in his work with a vigor and a passion not seen hitherto. In months, his exterior appearance returned back to normal. He kept his business appointments, came home every night to Gina and visited Jane and Charlie. But inside, he was dead. The experience had left his core empty and he was miserably alone. Alone. It was a horrid feeling to be alone, a feeling that only compounded when a year later, Gina met the man of her dreams and moved away to Boston. He couldn't grudge his baby sister her happiness, but since her departure, the huge house was stark in its emptiness. He came home late at night and was deafened by the silence, the sound of solitude.
Gina and his friends had often tried to procure him a date and Caroline had been shameless in dropping hints, but William would not even consider it. His heart belonged to someone else and no amount of pressure would force him to betray his one true love, even if he had no idea if she was dead or alive. William shuddered as he thought how completely possible it was that she died without his even knowing it. But he could not allow himself to believe that. As far as he was concerned, she was alive in his heart and that's all that mattered. He didn't try to forget her. Indeed, he could not. There wasn't an aspect of his life that didn't remind him of her. Every year, he went back to the lodge that they had shared in Switzerland. He spent a day there just remembering, keeping the memories alive for that was all that survived. Memories. And when little Lizzy Bingley was born, it was a miracle in itself. William watched the little girl grow to resemble more and more the one woman he had been unable to forget. She had the same fiery red hair and the pixyish green eyes. Whenever he saw Lizzy, he saw a glimpse of her, and it was pure torture. And now, seeing her picture, after so many years...he just didn't know how to react. Sighing heavily, William put his hands in his pockets and continued walking aimlessly, dwelling on the darkness that was his life.
The next evening; JFK Airport
William waited patiently, scanning the incoming crowds. He glanced at his watch and then looked up again. Suddenly, he spotted the young woman, grinning, walking rapidly towards him. She was waving as she yelled, "Will!"
"Gina!" waved William as ran forward. He hugged her. "I missed you."
"And I missed you," smiled Gina. "Rob wanted me to say sorry that he couldn't make it. He has to be at the hospital."
"Over Christmas?" William raised his eyebrows.
"An emergency surgery," explained Gina with a small sigh.
"Has he been neglecting you?" William sounded serious.
Gina looked at her brother and laughed, "Now don't you get all protective. It's an emergency. Rob's a darling and I love him. You know that."
"Just checking," smiled William wanly.
Gina laughed, "I know you like him, too, though you'll never admit it."
"I don't have to like him. He took you away from me," said William, half-seriously. But Gina's smile disappeared as he said it. He hastily looked away. "Let's go home."
William helped Gina carry her luggage to the car and then drove home. After Gina had showered and freshened up, they decided to go out to dinner. He took her out to her favorite Italian restaurant. They laughed and they talked, catching up on old times. Gina talked about her life in Boston a lot and inquired about Jane and Charlie. William informed her about Jane's invitation to her Christmas Eve party. Gina expressed her delight and anticipated meeting the Bingleys again after the long absence. After a pleasant dinner, William drove home since Gina was tired. As she got ready for bed, she stopped by the dark room that was William's bedroom. She turned on the lights and found William sitting on the bed.
"Will?"
"Hey Gina."
"What are you doing in the dark?"
"Nothing...just thinking."
Gina came and sat down next to him. "About what?"
William looked at her. "Nothing."
Gina sighed. "Will, it's been ten years."
William looked away. "I know."
"You have to move on, you know that."
"I know."
"Then, please don't do this to yourself. I hate to see you like this."
William slowly turned to face his sister, then said, "It's not so easy to forget, Gina." He paused, then said, "Good night."
Gina sighed in frustration. "Good night."
Chapter 26
The next evening; at the Bingleys'
Gina looked at her brother as they walked up the steps. Sounds of music and laughter could be heard from within. The general sounds of merriment and Christmas cheer were heartwarming. It could not help but bring a small smile to Gina's lips, but the smile disappeared when she saw the glum expression on William's face.
"Will," she said. "Try and have a good time. Please. For me?"
William looked at Gina and said, "I'll try."
"You promise?" prodded Gina.
William sighed, "Yeah. For you, Gina, anything."
Gina smiled, "Well, then, what're we waiting for? Let's go inside."
William rang the bell and the door was instantly opened by a grinning Charlie. His grin widened when he saw them. "Will! Gina! Come on in." Gina handed him the bottle of champagne that she had been carrying. "Oh, thanks, Gina." He kissed her cheeks. "So, how've you been? How's Rob?"
"I'm doing great, Charlie, thanks," smiled Gina congenially. "And Rob's fine, but he had some work in Boston."
"Oh, busy man, huh?" laughed Charlie.
"Yeah," nodded Gina, as she took off her coat. "How's Lizzy?"
"Very good," smiled Charlie. "She's growing so fast, you'll hardly recognize her. Will, take that expression off your face. It's a party. Come on, man, smile."
William attempted a small smile and followed Charlie and Gina inside. The house was already filled with the numerous friends and acquaintances that Jane and Charlie had invited. Gina was whisked away by Charlie to meet some old friends and William found himself standing among the throng of guests, unwilling to mingle or socialize in any way. He slowly found his way to the drinks and poured himself some wine. He began his way to a quiet corner where he might have remained unseen, but his attempt was quickly foiled.
"William darling!"
William unwillingly turned around. "Caroline," he muttered, his eyes assailed by the vision in orange. "Nice outfit."
Caroline simpered and smiled. "Oh, thank you. I created it myself."
Figures, thought William, but said nothing.
"So, where have you been recently? I haven't seen you at work," said Caroline, almost accusingly.
"I take a lot of work home with me," said William. Mostly to get away from the likes of you...
"Oh, really?" Caroline seemed surprised. "Why is that?"
"My house is much quieter and I can work at peace," William informed her.
"Oh, I see," replied Caroline. "But it must get lonely, especially since now Gina's gone."
"I manage," said William through gritted teeth.
"I'm sure you do, William, but I think you need someone to share it with, don't you?" The obnoxious smile on her face made her meaning quite clear.
"No, I don't think so," said William, looking for some means of escape. "That's not what I'm looking for at this point."
"And why not?" Caroline persisted, a little miffed.
"It's none of your business," William said, with a touch of irritation. "Now, if you'll excuse me..." With those words, William hastily took his leave.
"Poor William," said Gina as she witnessed the scene between her brother and Caroline.
"Doesn't she get the message?" wondered Jane aloud. "One would think she was blind."
"She is blind when it comes to Will," said Gina. "This game has been going on for 15 years, at least, but she just refuses to believe that he'll never love her. It's kind of sad, really."
Jane agreed and said, "Well, Charlie has tried talking to her, but it doesn't seem to work."
"As long as she deludes herself, it won't work," sighed Gina. "She has to figure out for herself that Will won't love her as long as Elizabeth lives in his heart..."
Jane looked at Gina. "So, you noticed it too?"
Gina nodded. "How could I not? It's so obvious. He's been grieving for so many years and I thought with time...well, I was wrong. He hasn't changed. Nothing's changed. He cannot, will not forget her."
Jane looked at William, sitting by himself on a couch. "I've tried to talk to him so many times, but he just tells me that he's happy, that he's content. He's making himself sick like this...even I have given up hope by now..."
Gina squeezed Jane's hands. "Sometimes I forget that she was your sister. How could she do this to you..." She paused. "and him?"
"I used to blame her," said Jane softly. "For a long time, I was angry. I didn't understand why. I still don't understand fully, but I've come to forgive her. She was scared and confused. If only she had talked to me first. I wouldn't have let her do it. But she didn't give me a chance."
"She didn't give him a chance, either," said Gina, looking at her brother. "You know what the worst part is? He blames himself. He thinks that he pushed her away. He thinks that he somehow caused it all to happen. That's what's eating him inside."
Jane sighed. "Sometimes he almost seems happy to me. Outwardly, he's always so calm..."
"Don't let that fool you," said Gina. "He seems fine, but he's not. I know he's not. He tries not to think of her, but as he said, it's so hard to forget."
"But it's been ten years," protested Jane.
"Try telling him that," said Gina with a frown. "Time is immaterial to him. I don't think he realizes how long it's been."
"Sometimes I don't realize it myself," muttered Jane. "Lizzy's almost 7 now and whenever I see her, I'm reminded of Elizabeth. She has missed out on so much. I just wish she'd come back, as probable as that might be."
"Maybe she will..." whispered Gina.
"I doubt it," sighed Jane. Then, recovering herself, she said, "I have to set up dinner now..."
"Need help?"
"No, no," said Jane. "I have it covered."
"You sure?" asked Gina.
"Yeah."
Gina nodded as Jane went to the kitchen. She found some old acquaintances from the hospital and began chatting amicably. From the corner of her eye, she saw William talking to a couple and sighed thankfully. Maybe the evening wouldn't be a total waste for William.
"William, I'd like you to meet my fiancée, Heather," Rick introduced the striking brunette standing by his side.
"Pleased to meet you," William extended his hand.
"Me too, I've heard so much about you," smiled Heather.
"Really? Nothing too bad, I hope?" smiled William.
"Oh no," said Heather. "Nothing bad."
"So, when is the wedding?" asked William.
"In May," replied Rick. "Heather will finish her Ph.D. by then."
"Really? Congratulations," said William. He was genuinely happy for Rick. The two men had developed a sort of bond after the incident almost ten years ago. It was friendship out of a common tragic experience. In Rick, William had found a ready ear, who understood the scope of William's loss for he experienced some of it himself. The camaraderie had been instant and they had remained good friends.
Heather excused herself and as she did, Rick turned to William. "So, what do you think of her?"
"She seems very nice," said William. "You're a lucky man."
"I know I am," replied Rick. "She understands me so well. I love her. She helped me forget the past. You might think it impossible, but I have forgotten the past."
William's expression altered. "You have?"
Rick nodded. "I didn't think it was possible myself, but it is. You just have to find the right person and the past doesn't matter anymore."
"I don't want to forget," said William.
"It's been a long time and I know it hurts. No one understands it better than me." Rick paused. "But you have to let go, William."
"Not you too," said William with annoyance. "Everyone says those exact same things and I'm sick and tired of it. It's none of anyone's goddamn business if I don't want to let go. I'm happy this way."
"Are you really?" Rick raised his eyebrows.
William looked away. "Yes."
"Then, I don't think anyone can help you."
"I don't need help," claimed William.
"I disagree," said Rick.
"I thought you understood..."
"I do, believe me, I do," said Rick, his tone gentler. "But there's a limit to grieving. What makes you think she didn't find someone else?" William's face paled. Rick continued. "She wouldn't have wanted you to wait for her like this..."
"She didn't give me any other choice," said William. At that moment, dinner was announced and the conversation was left at that.
During dinner, William talked very sparingly. The expression on his face was inscrutable. He didn't seem exactly glum, but the touch of twinkle in his eyes was absent, informing those who knew him best that he wasn't happy either. One could almost see the wheels of his mind turning, but it was hard to decipher the outcome of those ruminations. He seemed distant as if transported to another land. As dinner concluded, suddenly, Lizzy appeared next to Jane.
"Mommy, I can't sleep. Will you read me a story?"
Jane hesitated, but William, who was standing next to her, said, "Your mommy's busy, Lizzy, but if you want, I'll read you a story?"
Lizzy looked at him and smiled. "Okay, Uncle William."
As William began to follow her, Jane whispered, "Thanks, Will."
"No problem, Jane." William smiled and followed Lizzy upstairs. She jumped into her bed and motioned William to sit beside her.
He sat down and said, "What would you like to hear?"
"I want to hear about that lady in the picture, Uncle William...my Aunt Elizabeth."
Slightly taken aback, William said, "Why is that?"
"Well," said Lizzy. "My mommy said I look a lot like her, and I think she seems really cool. But mommy wouldn't say anything more about her and I want to know. And when I asked her myself, she didn't say anything either."
William could barely contain his excitement. "You...you talk to her? When? How?"
Lizzy looked at him with her green eyes and said, "She visits me sometimes."
Chapter 27
Lizzy's words delivered in such sweet innocence shattered the calm of William's world. In an instant, thousand questions and doubts flooded his mind, but he refrained from drowning the little girl in his own turbulence. Instead, he measured his words and repressed his emotions as he said, "She visits you?" The doubt in his voice was unquestionable.
"Yes," replied Lizzy in a matter-of-fact voice.
"In your dreams?" asked William.
"No, in real life," said Lizzy. "Uncle William, is something wrong? Are you mad at me?"
"No, no, Lizzy, nothing's wrong." William was quick to say. "I just didn't know that your Aunt Elizabeth visited you, that's all. So...where does she come to see you?"
"At school," said Lizzy, her eyes shining. "When we're playing outside, she comes to see me sometimes."
William could hardly contain his excitement. "And do you talk?"
"Sometimes we do." Lizzy paused. "Uncle William, this is supposed to be a secret. She made me promise not to tell anyone. Do you think she'll be angry at me?"
"No, honey, I don't think anyone could be angry at you," smiled William with great effort. "And I promise I won't tell anyone about this." For now, he added mentally. "What does she say when she talks to you?"
"She asks me about mommy and daddy," said Lizzy. "And how everyone's doing." Lizzy stopped, then said, "She also asks about you, Uncle William."
"She does?" William felt his throat choke with emotion. "And what do you tell her?"
"That you are really nice, but sometimes, very sad," said Lizzy with a small frown. "She once asked me if I had an Aunt Darcy besides Aunt Gina. When I said 'no', she started crying. Did I say something wrong?"
"No, Lizzy, you didn't." William brushed off some errant tears. "Did she ever tell you why she went away?"
"No," Lizzy shook her head. "I asked her once, but she wouldn't tell me."
"And how long has she been visiting you?"
Lizzy thought for a moment. "Since I was 4."
William's head was spinning. He found it difficult to even think clearly. Elizabeth had been furtively visiting Lizzy for so many years and no one had had a clue. How had she even discovered about Lizzy and her whereabouts? She has connections, William reminded himself. But if she had been in New York for at least some duration of time, why had she never attempted to contact him? William was baffled. She had eluded him several times before, but he wouldn't allow her to elude him again. This time he would not let her vanish from his life again. This was the best lead he had had in years and he intended to pursue it.
"Lizzy, did your aunt tell you when she would visit you again?"
"Yes," Lizzy nodded her head. "On my birthday." Lizzy's birthday was a month away.
"Oh," William uttered. A month. 30 days. That is what separated him from seeing Elizabeth again. It seemed almost unreal. Would he really see her again? What would he say to her, if he did? Would she try and run from him again? Would she even remember him? Had she found someone else? Had those 10 painful years altered her forever? Had he truly lost her? These questions and so many more plagued William even as he talked to Lizzy.
"Do you know why Aunt Elizabeth is so sad?" said Lizzy softly.
"You think she's sad?" William asked.
"Yes," said Lizzy. "She always smiles when she sees me, but I know she's sad on the inside. I can see it. When she thinks I'm not looking, she doesn't smile anymore. I think she's very sad."
William sighed heavily. "Well, Lizzy, I think she's sad because she can't be with you and your mommy all the time."
"But why can't she be with us?"
That's what I've been asking myself. "Sometimes, grown-ups have to act a certain way if they think they are helping other grown-ups," said William shakily. "But it isn't always right. That's what makes them sad."
"Is that why you're sad, too?" Lizzy asked innocently.
William looked away. "In a way."
"Can you help my aunt Elizabeth?" Lizzy asked.
"I hope so," William said honestly.
"How? Will you talk to her?"
"Yes," said William. "Do you know where she lives?"
"No," Lizzy shook her head. "She doesn't tell me anything about herself."
"I'm going to try and help her, Lizzy," said William. "The next time she comes to your school, I'll be there too."
"Will she listen to you?"
"I sure hope so, Lizzy."
Lizzy yawned and William could see that she was tired. He tucked her in and kissed her on her forehead. He sat by the bed as she slowly seemed to drift off to sleep. Then, as he walked out of the room and closed the lights, she said softly. "Goodnight, Uncle William."
"Goodnight, Lizzy."
~~
The subsequent days, William pondered on what Lizzy's revelations meant to him. He loved her, there was no question regarding that, but he didn't know how he would react on seeing her. Or worse yet, how she would react on seeing him. Scared? Angry? Or heaven forbid, indifferent? That mere thought made him more fearful than anything else he could imagine. The thought that the years he'd spent thinking about her, wishing and hoping, she had forgotten him or had ceased to care. It would be his own fault, he knew, but it was a painful trial to admit that he had been mistaken, that he had wronged her, that he had caused her to seek refuge elsewhere. All those years ago, had he not been so cold and selfish, maybe she'd be in his life right now. But it was no time for regrets. There was no recapturing the lost years, but he could hope for a brighter tomorrow.
William wondered what he would say when he did finally see her again. The exact words eluded him, but he knew he couldn't blame her. He would, however, ask her why she did what she did, why she abandoned him thus. It would be awkward, he was aware, but he would finally see her. It was almost impossible to imagine what he would feel at that moment, but a mixture of pain and pleasure was his ready guess. He had, as he had promised Lizzy, kept this news to himself, not willing to cause unnecessary excitement without due cause, for heaven knew, there was no certainty as far as Elizabeth was concerned. There were some guilty motives involved as well, since he was not willing to share Elizabeth, just yet. She was a secret, his secret, for the moment, and he was content.
The people surrounding William noticed a visible change in him after the Christmas party. He was not decidedly happy, but there was a certain spring to his steps and sometimes, on rare occasion, he could even be caught with a silly grin on his face. Everyone was baffled at this sudden change, entirely at a loss as to the cause of the welcome transformation. It was almost as if he was harboring a guilty secret. It was soon time for Gina to leave for Boston and William drove her to the airport. As they awaited the plane, Gina studied her brother in silence. He caught her prying glance and raised his eyebrows.
"What?" he asked her.
"You tell me," challenged Gina. "You've been acting very strange these past few days, Will. Are you sure you're alright?"
"I'm fine, Gina. Don't worry about me," William reassured her.
Gina frowned, "For years, I've wanted to see you happier, but this is too sudden. Did something happen when we were at Jane's? Did someone say something? Please, Will, I'm worried about you."
"It's nothing, Gina," William said deliberately. "I just think it's about time I moved on."
Gina looked at him in surprise. She was at a loss of words. "I...I'm so happy you finally see that. What made you change your mind?"
"Nothing in particular," said William evasively.
At that moment, the boarding of the flight to Boston was announced and it was time for Gina to leave. She kissed William on his cheeks and said, "Come and visit me soon."
"I will," he promised.
"Bye, Will."
"Bye, Gina."
~~
10 days later; Tara Thai Restaurant
William entered the restaurant and spotted Jane sitting in the corner. He sat down opposite her to celebrate the kind of annual tradition that he and Jane shared. She looked at him and smiled sadly. He squeezed her hand softly and smiled in reassurance. She shook her head silently. William beckoned the waiter to come forth. He greeted them and asked for their orders.
"Two Pad Thais and Thai Iced Teas, please," said William as he consulted the menu. As the waiter departed, he looked at Jane. "Happy Birthday, Jane."
"Happy Birthday, William," responded Jane.
"How old would she be today?" he asked.
"35," replied Jane. "She is 35 today. I wonder where she is."
"So do I," whispered William.
"Still alive?" wondered Jane aloud.
"I'm sure of it," said William with confidence.
"Still remembering us?" Jane said.
"I'm sure of that, too," said William.
Jane sighed. "I've given up hope, Will. I know you haven't, but I have. It just makes life easier when I'm not looking for her at every corner. It makes it less...stressful, you know?"
William looked at her and wished he could tell her what Lizzy had told him, but didn't. If nothing came out of it, Jane would probably be worse off than she was now. "I'll keep looking, Jane. I promised you that, didn't I?"
"Yes you did," agreed Jane. "But I won't hold you to that promise, Will. You know that, right?"
"I know," said William. "But I'll hold myself to it. I promised myself, too."
"Do you think we'll ever....?" Jane trailed off but her question was implied.
William touched her hands. "Yes, I'm sure we will."
Suddenly Jane giggled. On seeing William's questioning eyes, she said, "We celebrate her birthday every year and every year I hope that she's with us when we do. And every year she isn't..."
"Jane, do you trust me?" said William.
"Yes..."
"Then believe me when I say that next year, she will be here."
Jane did not say anything. The food arrived and the conversation ended.
~~
10 days later; Lizzy's birthday
"I appreciate you doing this, Will, but you really didn't need to. I could take her to school myself, you know," said Jane as she gave Lizzy breakfast.
"I want to take her, Jane. Don't worry, we'll have fun. Won't we, Lizzy?" William winked.
"Yes, we will," smiled Lizzy, munching on her cereal.
"You're a big girl, aren't you? 8 years old!" said William.
Lizzy nodded in agreement. Jane smiled, "I packed your lunch, honey. And don't forget to remind all your friends about your party."
"I won't, mom," said Lizzy.
"And don't bother Uncle William too much on the way."
"I won't, mom," smiled Lizzy.
"And don't drop anything on that dress."
"I won't, mom," laughed Lizzy.
"Will you relax, Jane, it'll be alright," smiled William.
"Okay," nodded Jane. She kissed Lizzy. "Happy birthday, sweetheart."
"Thanks, mom," said Lizzy. "Let's go, Uncle William. Bye, mom."
"Bye, honey. See you tonight, Will."
When they were out of the house, Lizzy turned to William and said, "Do you think she'll come?"
"If she promised you, I'm sure she will," answered William.
That pronouncement made Lizzy happy and she hummed merrily to herself as William drove her to school. She ran inside in excitement, but he stationed himself in his car with an excellent view of the playground, where Elizabeth would allegedly meet Lizzy. The minutes gave in to hours and the children finally burst into the playground. William saw Lizzy on the swing, but there was still no sign of Elizabeth. William was nervous, but he had not given up hope. Suddenly, he caught sight of a figure approaching the playground, wrapped in a shawl. He got of his car in an instant and followed her till she reached the fence. He stopped. She did not move, her unmistakable red hair blowing gently in the wind. He walked slowly till he was a few feet behind her.
"Elizabeth," he murmured.
Chapter 28
"Elizabeth," William murmured again.
There was a silence that lasted an eternity. William hardly dared to breathe as he felt his pulse quicken. He was afraid that any second, he'd wake up and it'd all be a dream. He was afraid his eyes were playing tricks on him and she was not standing just a few feet away, her back towards him. She was so close that he could reach out and touch her if he wished, if he dared, if he wasn't so afraid. She had allowed her red, undisciplined hair to grow to her waist and had let it loose on this particular occasion. With the frigid breeze, her hair blew gently, making the vision all the more surreal. Slowly, she turned around and looked at him with her green eyes; subdued, wary, distant.
"William."
Her voice was no more than a whisper. William had envisioned this fated meeting a thousand times, but now that it was a reality, he hardly knew how to react. There was a certain awkwardness between them. So much had changed. She had changed. Outwardly, she was as she had ever been, but William sensed that the person he had once known had vanished forever, replaced instead by a more mature, a long suffering, a reformed Elizabeth. He longed to hear her voice again so that he could be assured that she was real and his prayers were soon after answered.
"I didn't expect that Lizzy would keep her promise," said Elizabeth, looking downward.
"I'm thankful that she didn't," said William, not taking his eyes away from her lest she would vanish.
Elizabeth looked up sharply. "I came only to see my niece."
"And I came to see you." William's voice didn't waver though his eyes did.
Elizabeth was at a loss of words. "You shouldn't have come." She turned away.
"Why not?" said William. "Do I scare you?"
"No," she said. "There was no need for it."
"Who are you to decide that?" asked William.
Elizabeth turned to him and said, "Let's not get into that. I'll leave and you can forget that you ever saw me." With that, she started to walk away.
"You really think it's that easy?" William caught up to her. "Do you think I'll just let you go?" Elizabeth didn't reply. "Won't you even ask how I've been?"
There was a flicker of pain in Elizabeth's eyes. "What's the use?"
"You're right," sighed William. "What's the use? I've been deluding myself all these years; you don't even care."
"You know that's not right," said Elizabeth.
"Do I?" William looked at her.
"I had to do it, William." Elizabeth looked away. "There was no other way. I just wanted to protect you and Jane."
"By leaving us?" William's incredulity was apparent.
"It seemed like the right thing to do," said Elizabeth with effort. "I never wanted to hurt you...or Jane. It killed me to leave, but I had to do it." She paused. "Jane probably thinks I wasn't there when she needed me. She's right, I guess. But I didn't abandon her. I knew that Charlie would take care of her. She thinks I wasn't there for her wedding, but I was there. I watched her from afar, not daring to come close. I was in the hospital when Lizzy was born. Darling Lizzy. I watched her grow to look so much like me. I couldn't bear her not knowing me at all. That's why I came to visit her here." A few tears escaped her eyes. "I don't regret what I've done. Maybe it wasn't the best decision, but at that time, I thought it was the right one. I understand if you hate me. I hate myself too."
"Do you really think I could hate you?" William asked with a small frown.
"I don't know," Elizabeth sighed.
"Why didn't you ever come to see me?"
"Aunt Elizabeth!" cried little Lizzy as she ran towards the fence, saving Elizabeth from the need to reply. "I knew you'd come."
"Lizzy! Happy Birthday," Elizabeth smiled.
"Are you mad that I told Uncle William?"
Elizabeth glanced at William. "No, darling, I'm not mad."
"Good, so you can come home with us tonight?" Lizzy asked enthusiastically.
"I don't know," said Elizabeth, not willing to look at William.
"Please," said Lizzy. "Mommy will be so happy to see you."
"I'll think about it, Lizzy."
"You promise?" Lizzy's eyes sparkled with innocent excitement.
"I promise," smiled Elizabeth. "I brought you this bracelet." Elizabeth gave it to Lizzy.
"Thank you!" grinned Lizzy. She glanced over her shoulders. "I have to go now. Bye Uncle William, bye Aunt Elizabeth!" She ran away with alacrity.
William watched her go and then said, "So?"
"So."
"What happens next?"
"I don't know."
"There's a party for Lizzy tonight," said William.
"Oh?"
"Will you come?"
"I really don't think it's a good idea," sighed Elizabeth. "You might have forgiven me, but I'm not sure anyone else is ready to."
"If you mean Jane, she already has," said William. "Ten years is a long time to hold grudges, Elizabeth."
"I suppose so."
"Then what's holding you back now?
"Nothing," Elizabeth looked at William. "I'm just scared, I guess."
"Trust me, there's no reason to be scared. You owe it to Jane and to yourself. This has gone on long enough. You have to end it now or maybe this time, she won't forgive you so easily."
"I don't remember you being this persuasive," smiled Elizabeth.
"A lot of things have changed," said William.
"You haven't changed," said Elizabeth softly.
"But you have," said William.
"Have I really?"
"You used to smile more."
"I was foolish then."
"And now?" William pressed.
"I like to think I've grown as a person."
"What have you been doing?"
"Waiting tables, mostly," said Elizabeth. "I saved up some money and now I'm going back to college."
"That's great. Congratulations," said William with genuine warmth.
"Thanks."
"So, will you come?"
"Do I have a choice?" said Elizabeth.
"Not really." William smiled for the first time.
"Yes, I'll come."
"You promise?"
"You're beginning to sound like Lizzy now!" exclaimed Elizabeth.
"I can't afford you running out on me again."
Elizabeth's face darkened. "I promise I'll come."
"Let me take you home."
"I can walk."
"I insist," said William.
"All right," sighed Elizabeth.
They walked towards William's car. As they got in, William said, "Where do you live?"
"In Jersey," said Elizabeth, then gave him her address.
"How did you manage to elude me for so long when you were so close?" said William. "I hired private detectives, you know."
"I know," nodded Elizabeth. "And they were fools. Besides, I am an expert at disguises, remember? They never had a chance."
"I suppose not," frowned William. For the remainder of the journey, there was little conversation in the car as William concentrated on the road and Elizabeth stared out of the window. William stopped in front of her small, though comfortable looking apartment complex.
Elizabeth got out of the car. "So..."
"I'll see you tonight?" said William.
"Yes you will," nodded Elizabeth. She paused. "Can you please not tell Jane yet? Or am I too late?"
"No, I haven't told her," said William. "And I can keep it under wraps, if you want."
"Thank you," said Elizabeth. "Bye William."
"Bye Elizabeth."
William had not wanted to let her go. It was hard enough believing that she had come into his life again. But what other choice had he had? None. She had promised she would come, so she would. He was certain of it. He almost dreaded it. What would happen? How would Jane react? What followed next? He didn't know yet, but awaited the answers with impatience. He pondered their earlier encounter. It was difficult to discern her feelings. She masked any emotion she felt so well. But she had responded to his entreaties. He welcomed that particular encouragement, but was hard pressed to predict what could or would happen now. How much had she really change? How much of the past were they willing to forget? For his part, William was ready to forget it all, but it was Elizabeth he was scared about.
"What is it, William? Who're you looking for?" Jane came to the window that he had stationed himself at.
"Uh. No one," William lied.
Jane smiled, "All of Lizzy's friends are here. I'm just waiting for Rick, then we can cut the cake."
"That sounds good," said William, glancing out the window again.
"You've been acting ver strange," said Jane. "Tell me what's wrong?"
"It's nothing, Jane," said William. "You'll find out soon enough."
"Whatever you say."
She left his side and William looked out again. He saw a cab stop in front of the house and sure enough, she stepped out. She looked up at the house, bit her lips, smoothed her dress and wrung her hands. Her hair had been pinned up in a simple bun and she was wearing a plain, black dress, but to William, she looked stunning. Her nervousness was apparent in the way she fidgeted and stalled, avoiding the imminent encounter. Then a well dressed man with dark hair got off and paid the driver. He took her hands and led her to the door. Extremely surprised and perplexed, William went to the door and opened it.
"Hi," he greeted the new arrivals.
"William," Elizabeth looked flustered.
"You made it. I was almost worried."
"I promised you, didn't I?"
William nodded, then looked at the man beside her with undisguised interest. Elizabeth noted his steadfast stare and cleared her throat. "Um...William, I'd like you to meet Philip Niles..." She paused. "My husband."
Conclusion
"Your husband?" William repeated slowly, in shock.
Philip beamed as he extended his hand. "Pleased to meet you." His accent was definitely European; smooth and cultured. William hated him already.
"Likewise." William forced a small smile and shook his hand. His grip was firm and professional. William didn't trust him. He glanced at Elizabeth, then quickly looked away. "Why don't you both come in? It's freezing out here."
Elizabeth nodded at Philip and they entered the house. As Philip helped Elizabeth with her coat, William retreated to the living room. He saw Jane coming in his direction and mentally prepared himself.
"Who's that, Will?"
"Um...Jane?" William paused. Jane looked at him expectantly. "There's someone here to see you..."
"Who?" Jane muttered, bewildered as William motioned her to go and see for herself. Jane hesitated only momentarily, then slowly walked over towards the door. She stopped, then peered at the entrance area. She frowned and was just about to call William when she saw Elizabeth. Standing. Waiting. Jane blinked several times. William came up behind her. Jane turned towards him and he nodded, assuring her that what she saw was indeed real. Meanwhile, Elizabeth began walking slowly towards Jane. Jane blinked a few tears away and walked towards Elizabeth.
When they were at an arm's length away from each other, Jane whispered, "Stupid girl."
Elizabeth was crying openly. "Oh Jane. I-"
"Shhh," Jane interrupted her. "I know."
Then, she hugged her sister. They stood in that embrace for a long time, crying and whispering into each other's ears. By this time, Charlie had come to the door in search of his wife and had stopped on seeing the scene in front of him. William nodded to confirm what he saw. When Jane and Elizabeth had separated, Elizabeth saw Charlie and hugged him as well. During this time, Philip was standing by himself, watching the reunion in silence. Elizabeth seemed to remember his presence and motioned him to come forward.
"Jane. Charlie. I'd like you to meet my husband, Philip Niles."
Their eyes instantly went to William, who was still standing at a distance. Charlie recovered himself and shook his hand. He looked at Philip for a moment, then back at Elizabeth. "So, you're married?"
"Yes." Elizabeth looked down.
"Oh." Charlie bit his lips. An awkward silence followed. "Why don't we all go in?" He looked at his wife. "I'm sure you and Elizabeth have a lot to talk about."
"Yes, we do," Jane looked at Elizabeth. "But it can wait...for now. We have guests."
"Yes, of course," nodded Elizabeth.
They walked in Elizabeth was immediately greeted enthusiastically by her niece who seemed ecstatic at finding her aunt at the party. She jumped up and down for 15 minutes at least and insisted on introducing her to all her friends. Elizabeth retreated to a corner later, where Philip was standing. Elizabeth saw Jane and Charlie busy with their guests. She looked around the room till her gaze settled on William. As soon as he looked up, she quickly looked away. Philip caught that last exchange and said, "Are you sure you want to through with this?"
"I don't have a choice." Elizabeth tried to smile. "I have to."
"Want something to drink?"
"Just some punch, thanks."
"I'll be right back."
As Philip left her side, Elizabeth saw Rick come in. Rick exchanged greetings with Jane and handed a wrapped present to Lizzy. Elizabeth saw Jane whisper something into Rick's ears and immediately his eyes flew around the room till they settled on her. There was no question as to the contents of that particular exchange. Rick instantly walked over to her. He stood, silent, for a moment, then on an impulse, hugged her.
"I missed you, Elizabeth."
"And I you, Rick."
Rick released her and stepped back to look at her. "How did this happen?"
"You mean my coming here?" asked Elizabeth; Rick nodded. "It's a long story."
Rick smiled. "I see. You haven't changed. I can hardly believe it's been 10 years." That smile vanished. "You didn't even give me a chance to say goodbye."
Elizabeth looked at him with sad eyes. "I left rather suddenly...there was no time for good-byes, Rick. I wouldn't have been able to go through with it."
"You didn't have to do it."
"Yes, I did," insisted Elizabeth. "But it's all in the past. Can't you forget it?"
"In time, I suppose I can," nodded Rick. He looked around the room. "So, you've met everyone?" He looked most particularly at William.
Elizabeth caught his meaning. "Yes I have, Rick." She changed the topic. "How've you been?"
"Quite well," said Rick. "I'm married now." He showed her the ring. "Her name's Heather. She couldn't be here tonight, but I'd like you to meet her."
"I'd like that, too, Rick. Congratulations. Are you happy?"
Rick laughed. "You always went right to the point, didn't you?" He paused. "Yes, I'm very happy," he said decisively.
"I'm glad to hear that."
At that point, Philip came with the punch. "Here's your drink, darling."
Elizabeth thanked him, then looked at Rick. "Rick, I'd like you to meet my husband, Philip. Philip, this is my old friend, Rick."
The men shook hands and Rick could barely hide his surprised expression. He pointedly glanced at William, then at Elizabeth and said, "I'm hurt. Why wasn't I invited to the wedding?"
"We were rather rushed," explained Elizabeth.
"I bet you were," muttered Rick under his breath, then said, more audibly. "And how long...?"
"Almost 2 years now," said Elizabeth as she smiled at Philip.
"Really?" Rick raised his eyebrows. At that point, Philip excused himself and thankful at Philip's exit, Rick said, "My god, Elizabeth, how could you?"
Elizabeth looked at him. "That's another long story."
"Everything has to be so complicated with you, doesn't it?!" exclaimed Rick. He glanced at William. "Do you know what that man has suffered? And you waltz in with your slick husband and stand around pretending that nothing's wrong."
Elizabeth glared at him. "Before you start judging me, maybe you'd like to know why I did it."
"Oh, I can't wait," said Rick sarcastically.
"Well, if you have to know," began Elizabeth. "Philip and I got married because he got into trouble with the INS and he needed to get married to an American citizen so that he wouldn't be deported. I offered to help him, that's all. He's a really great guy and we're going to divorce as soon as this whole mess is sorted out. And that's the whole story, okay?"
Rick took it in and seemed slightly overwhelmed. "So I suppose you're not the heartless, insensitive jerk I automatically assumed you were?" he joked.
"No," Elizabeth shook her head. "At least, I hope not." She sighed. "Rick, whatever I did in the past was to protect my friends and my family - you guys - all of whom I love very much. I didn't mean to hurt any of you."
"Well I forgive you, Liz," said Rick. "And I know everyone else does." He glanced at William again. "So, does he know about the whole marriage situation?"
"No."
"Now that's what I call cruel and unusual," pronounced Rick. "You let the poor man think that you're actually married to someone else. Why?"
Elizabeth hesitated. "I-I don't know. I didn't think it mattered to him."
"Are you kidding me?!" Rick was incredulous. "You are the only thing that matters to him. Are you telling me you don't see that? Or maybe you just don't care?"
"Of course I care!" said Elizabeth. "Dammit, what do you think I am?"
"Okay, just checking," said Rick. "So, what's stopping you now?"
"I don't know." Elizabeth paused. "Rick, you're really annoying."
Rick grinned, "Especially when I'm right..."
Elizabeth was saved from replying as Jane announced it was time for the birthday girl to cut the cake. The lights were dimmed and 8 bright candles lit the beautifully decorated chocolate cake. Lizzy beamed as she blew her candles and made her wish. She cut the cake and gave a bite to her parents, then insisted on giving one to Elizabeth as well. There were tears in her eyes as she smiled at her niece. The moment was broken with the applause that followed, but Elizabeth still stood, motionless, marveling at the turn fate had taken. The rest of the evening passed in a blur for Elizabeth. She avoided any conversation, spending most of the time around Lizzy or in the corner with Philip. As the guests began to leave, she turned to him and said,
"You should get going, too. You have work tomorrow."
"And you?" asked Philip.
"I'll take a cab home. I need to stay and talk."
"You sure?"
"Yes," said Elizabeth firmly. Philip kissed her chastely on the cheek and left. Elizabeth found that most of the other guests had departed as well. Jane and Charlie were seeing them all off.
"Will," Charlie went outside as his friend left.
"Yeah?"
"Hey, wait up." Charlie caught up to him. "I'm really sorry, Will."
"Don't be. It's really nothing."
"I don't know what to say." Charlie hung his head. "I didn't expect it to happen."
"I don't think anyone did, but I was a fool to let it take me by surprise," said William. "I had no right to believe that she wouldn't move on."
"I wish there was something I could do."
"I'm fine, really I am. Don't worry about me."
"Maybe you should talk to her..."
"No!" said William emphatically.
"Maybe she has something to say...some reason..."
"I don't want to hear it. Really, Charlie. Give it up."
Charlie bit his lips and watched William get into his car. "Are you going to be alright?"
"Yeah," nodded William.
"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight."
"Bye Charlie."
As the car sped off, Charlie walked back to the stairs. Jane was waiting for him.
"How is he doing?" she asked.
"Not too well, I'm afraid," Charlie said.
"Poor Will. He doesn't deserve it."
"Is she still in there?" asked Charlie.
"Yes," nodded Jane. She paused. "I'm almost afraid to go in."
Charlie squeezed her hand. "You'll be fine. Let's go. It's really cold."
They went in and Jane closed the door behind them. She slowly walked to the living room where Lizzy and Elizabeth were standing. Jane sighed as she beheld the sight. Her sister and her daughter. They shared so much: those eyes, that hair, that spirit. Jane could just watch their exchange for hours. When Lizzy saw her mother, she stopped talking and beamed.
"So you had fun tonight, right?" said Jane.
"Yes, mommy. Thank you!" smiled Lizzy.
"Now you know it's time for you to go to bed," said Jane.
Lizzy made a face. "Can't I stay up a little bit longer? To talk to Aunt Elizabeth?"
Jane looked at Lizzy and said, "No, honey, you can talk later. It's getting late. You have to go to bed."
"All right." Lizzy hung her head. She hugged Elizabeth and said, "Will you be here tomorrow?"
"Yes, darling," smiled Elizabeth.
Lizzy kissed her and her parents goodnight and bounced up the stairs. Elizabeth watched her leave and said, "She's a wonderful girl."
"Thanks," said Jane.
Elizabeth looked at her. "Jane...I..." She stopped. "I'm really sorry for everything."
"I'm sorry, too."
"Why?" Elizabeth was confused.
"I'm sorry that you had to leave because of me," Jane said. Elizabeth began to protest, but Jane silenced her. "I know that you thought you were protecting me. I don't blame you. It was nobody's fault. I'm just glad you're back."
"You're too good, Jane," sniffed Elizabeth. "I've missed you."
Jane led Elizabeth to a sofa and they sat down. "Why now? Why did you decide to come back now?"
"You can blame that one on William and Lizzy," said Elizabeth as she explained that encounter. When she was done, she said, "I've really been thinking about this for a long time, but I never had the courage. I was too scared."
"Lizzy never told me anything." Jane sounded glum.
"I made her promise, but I guess William found out anyway."
"All this time, you didn't ever come to visit me?" said Jane reproachfully.
"I..." Elizabeth paused. "It's hard to explain. I was scared and I didn't think you had forgiven me. I didn't think you wanted to see me."
"Of course I wanted to see you!" exclaimed Jane. "You could've come back any day I would've been happy to see you, even when I was angry and frustrated."
"I'm so sorry, Jane," repeated Elizabeth. "Maybe it was a huge mistake, but I was trying to do the right thing."
"I know you were."
Elizabeth smiled, "I should've known that you'd be sweet about this whole thing. Philip told me not to be scared, but I-"
Jane interrupted her. "Speaking of Philip...what...how...what is that about?"
"I've already been lectured by Rick about that," said Elizabeth ruefully. "Philip and I got married so he wouldn't be deported. It's not a permanent thing. We'll be divorced soon. I was just doing him a favor."
"A huge favor," muttered Jane. "Does Will know about this?"
"No."
"Lizzy!!" Jane exclaimed loudly. "You let the poor man mope around the whole evening?! He thinks you're married and don't care about him. How could you do this to him?"
Elizabeth hung her head as she murmured. "I didn't think he cared..."
"You have to be blind not to see it, Liz," said Jane. "He waited for you for 10 years. Ten years. Anyone else would have moved on, but not him. He believed in you and the love that you shared. He never so much as dated again. And you think he doesn't care? I've never seen someone so much in love."
"I feel so guilty..."
"Well, you should," said Jane. Then, her expression softened. "Look, I'm sorry if I'm being too hard on you. What happened in the past, you can't change, but you can do the right thing now. Go talk to him. Do you still love him?"
"Jane, these things---"
Jane waved her hand impatiently. "A straight answer, Liz. Yes or no. Do you love him?"
Elizabeth sighed. "Yes."
"Then, go tell him."
"Now?!" asked Elizabeth in surprise.
"Why not?" Jane said. "Do it before he does something drastic. You know Will. He'll go home and brood in the dark or something and who knows, what else. He doesn't deserve to suffer another second. You owe him that much at least."
"I don't remember you being this..." Elizabeth searched for words.
"Pushy?" supplied Jane with a smile. "Well, you know. Things change. People change."
Elizabeth smiled. "I like the change. So, how is everything with Charlie?"
"Wonderful." Her expression softened. "Just wonderful."
"I knew you two would be great the moment I saw you together."
"So you want to take all the credit?"
"Well, not all the credit, but I did put you in the hospital that he visited. Doesn't that count for something?"
"I suppose."
"Okay then." Elizabeth laughed and Jane joined in. They laughed for several minutes. "I missed this, Janie."
"So did I. I'm glad you're back." Jane paused. "Now are you going to Will's or do I have to drag you there myself?"
"I'm going, I'm going," sighed Elizabeth.
"I'll drive you there," offered Jane.
"No, I'll walk. It's not far."
"No way. It's too cold outside."
"It's okay, Jane. I'm a big girl. I can handle myself. Besides, I want to be alone so that I can think about what I'll say."
"Well, all right. Just be careful."
"I will," promised Elizabeth.
Minutes later, Elizabeth grabbed her coat and smiled at Charlie, who had tactfully made himself scarce. As she walked out, Charlie turned to his wife with a questioning smile. Jane smiled in return and said, "She's going to see Will." She updated him with the latest about Elizabeth's marriage.
"Well, that's certainly encouraging. Do you think this time they'll get it right?"
"I sure hope so, darling," sighed Jane.
Elizabeth had been standing outside his house for a good half hour, but still didn't ring the bell. He was home, she was certain, because his car was parked outside, but there was hardly any noise coming from within. Maybe he was asleep? She dismissed that possibility immediately. He never went to bed early. Suddenly she felt a few snowflakes fall gently on her head from the dark January sky. Great, she thought. Now what? She still didn't ring the bell. Despite all of Jane and Rick's reassurances, she was scared. Scared of seeing him again, of seeing all the hurt she had caused, of hearing his bitter voice. She was scared of rejection and of disappointment. Maybe it was cowardly of her, but it could not be helped. This is stupid. I have to go in before I catch pneumonia. With certain determination and several misgivings, she rang the bell. It reverberated through the house, but she heard stirrings from within and moments later, the door was opened and then, he was standing there. He had not yet changed his clothes. His dark eyes took in her presence without question. She didn't know what to say or how to begin, which was fine because he spoke first.
"I was wondering when you'd finally ring the bell."
She was shocked. "You knew I was out here?"
He nodded. "I didn't want to rush you."
She bit her lips and looked down. His eyes still had that strange effect on her. She was mesmerized and intimated in one maddening glance. Yep, nothing had changed. "Can I come in?"
He hesitated, but only briefly. "Sure." She followed him inside. "Do you want a drink?"
"No, thanks, I'm fine." She was much too nervous.
"I see you're alone. Where's...what's his name...Philip?" He had walked to the fireplace and placed his hand on it, a gesture that signified his frustration.
"He went home," replied she in a small voice. "Don't you want to know why I married him?"
Of course he wanted to know; he was dying to know how she could have betrayed his love. "Not particularly, no."
"You don't care, not even a little?" She looked at him, holding him in her gaze.
"I'm not interested in the details," he said. What did she expect him to do? Listen to the sickening history of their romance? No, thanks.
"Not even if I say I don't love him?" She said this softly, almost in a whisper.
She had his attention now. "What?"
"I don't love him, Will. Philip Niles is a good friend. Nothing more. He was in trouble with the INS and I offered to help him so he wouldn't be deported. This marriage is an arrangement, that's all and will be terminated as soon as possible."
"Oh." He sank onto the couch, next to her. "Oh." He looked at her. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"
She bit her lips. "I don't know..."
"That's not good enough." She didn't love that man? It wasn't really a marriage? His head was spinning; the possibilities were endless.
"You have every right to be angry, Will, but please don't hate me."
There was a twinkle in his eye. "I thought we already established that it's not possible for me to hate you."
She caught the expression in his eyes and decided to play along. "We did, didn't we? I completely forgot. Must be the Prozac."
He allowed himself to smile. "Must be."
"That doesn't scare you?"
"Nope, not in the least." He had inched closer slowly.
"Well if that doesn't scare you, I don't know what will."
"Give it your best shot," he said with a grin. "But I don't intend to let you get away, ever."
Her smile vanished and her expression became serious. "After all I did?"
"I drove you to it, I know I did. If I had been less distant, more understanding, things might have been different." He paused. "I don't blame you. I wish it hadn't happened and we hadn't lost all those years, but you're here now and that's what matters."
What had she done to deserve this man? She would never know. "I love you, William."
"I love you, Elizabeth." He had waited for years, literally, to hear those words from her lips again. And now that he had, the giddiness he felt was overwhelming. He bent down and kissed her fiercely, a decade of simmering passion unleashed. They parted unwillingly and as they did, Elizabeth looked into his eyes.
"Why do you love me?"
The twinkle returned. "I always thought it was the red hair..."
"Will! Be serious. Why? I'm a horrible person. I lied and did bad things. I left you for 10 years and you still love me. Why?"
His expression changed. "First of all, you're not a horrible person. You did what you did because you had to...for Jane's sake. I love you for who you are...a loving, caring, loyal person; a devoted sister; a dependable friend. You're beautiful and funny and spontaneous and unafraid. You're perfect, Elizabeth."
She blushed prettily. "You're too good to me."
"Remember that the next time I mess up and you're mad at me," he laughed.
She chuckled. "I will."
"When I woke up this morning, it was like every morning. I prayed that I'd find you, but I never dreamed that I would," said William. "I certainly didn't dream that this would happen. I wished it, but didn't dare to hope."
"Your wish came true."
"Thanks to Lizzy," he reminded her.
"She's such a sweetheart."
"Much like her aunt."
"Can't argue with that!" she laughed. She enjoyed being in his arms. It was a warm and comforting place and she hadn't admitted to herself how much she'd actually missed it. What had she been so afraid of?
"Elizabeth..."
"Hmmm?"
"Don't ever leave me again."
She looked up at him and saw the intensity in his eyes. "I won't."
"I survived this time...well, barely, but I can't go through it again. Promise me you won't leave..."
"I promise, Will."
This seemed to ease his anxiety a little, but after a brief pause, he said, "I suppose I'm rushing you a little, but I can't wait. I've waited 10 years, after all." He paused. "Elizabeth, will you marry me?"
Elizabeth looked into his eyes. "Isn't bigamy illegal, Will?" She sounded half serious.
He didn't smile. "After you're free from Philip. Will you?"
"You know I will." She kissed him lightly on his lips.
"This is worth the wait," he said.
"What is?"
"The feeling I have right now. Having you in my arms, knowing you'll be mine forever."
"I've waited for it, too."
"A decade. Who knows where we'd be now if it hadn't been...."
"For my stupidity? Go ahead, say it, I don't mind."
"Well, if you insist..."
"Will!" She laughed. "You're supposed to disagree with me and tell me it wasn't my fault."
He was enjoying himself immensely. "Well then, tell me what to think and say and I'll be at your service."
"Much better." She couldn't be happier. His smile, his dancing eyes were enough to make it all worth it.
"Is this how it's going to be when we are married?"
"Do you want it otherwise?"
"Never," he smiled, bemused. "I would not change a thing, well, maybe one little thing."
"And what is that?"
"Color your hair. I prefer brunettes."
She laughed. "Oh, shut up, Will and kiss me."
He obliged gladly.
The End
Epilogue
Oh, and Elizabeth never did color her hair.
Author's Note: Well, that's it. Did you ever think you'd see this day? It's finally over. Well, what can I say? I've always been a hopeless romantic. I just couldn't bear to have a sad/tragic ending, though, god knows, I pondered it for hours. I know you all were tired with my so-called cliffhangers, but thank you for being so patient and sticking with it. I thank each and every one of you for your support without which this would never have been writen. (Which might have been a good thing, but too late now!). Also, thanks to Ann, Kathlyn and Jimmy without which this incredible place wouldn't be able to function in the first place.