Jump to new as of March 14, 2001
Jump to new as of March 16, 2001
Jump to new as of March 30, 2001
I am Fitzwilliam Darcy -- loving brother, kind master, considerate nephew, and not to mention, rich. Some people may call me proud, but I figure that they are just jealous. After all, if I wasn't me, I would be jealous of me too.
I have a secret, one that no one, not even dear Georgina or Charles knows about. However, I will tell it to you. (A hush falls.) Three nights a week, I disguise myself and go down to the lowest taverns in London to play cards. Poker, Hearts, Blackjack, you name it, I play it. I suppose the fact that I am very good at it adds to my addiction, for that is what it is. At the present moment, I am the champion card player in three taverns across London, the only three that I frequent. Therefore, you can imagine my reluctance to accompany Charles to Hertfordshire. It wasn't just that there was hardly a chance for a good card player to be found there, but that I would have to live under the same roof as Caroline Bingley, my dear friend's sister, who is the most odious woman in the world. The worst thing is, she can't play a good hand of poker. A few days after we arrived in Hertfordshire (which was as bad as I thought it was), we attended a ball... Charles' idea of course.
"La, man" he had said, "this is our chance to meet a few pretty girls, for I heard that there are not a few hereabouts."
That's Charles. A typical skirt chaser. Although I love him dearly, I never could understand his fascination with the other sex. The only woman that I could ever fall in love with has to beat me at cards first, and that is an improbable happening.
Anyway, we went to the ball, and as we entered, the room became quieter. Then, I heard a voice, "5000 a year, and so handsome too!!! And his friend is better. He has 10!!!" I don't have to tell you that I almost died at such a statement. I whirled toward the voice and I saw a middle aged woman who was smiling at me like a merchant smiles at a good bargain. I figured that it was she who had issued the offending statement, so I gave her my best disdainful stare. However, as I did so, I caught sight of a young woman, about 20 next to her. She was looking at me with a wry smile, like she was laughing at me! I was rather offended, I must say, as no woman had ever given me such a look before. I glared at her, hoping to frighten her into remorse, but she stared back at me with her beautiful dark eyes, which danced with laughter. I was infuriated. HOW DARE SHE!!
Needless to say, the ball was a total bore and a complete waste of time. I learned the girl's name. It was Elizabeth Bennet.
Charles seemed completely satisfied with Netherfield, a sentiment I did not share. I was just sitting quietly in his library, when who would come but the bane of my life, Caroline Bingley. I seriously wonder how such a man as Charles could have such a sister as CB. Sometimes I wonder if perhaps she is related to my aunt's curate, the Collins fellow. They seem more matched in personality. Anyway, I was just sitting there, quite lost in the world of Julius Caesar, when she appeared, a total fright in bright green. I blinked hard, hoping that maybe I had fallen asleep, and this was just a nightmare. Unfortunately, it was not. I smiled faintly, and turned my eyes away from her blinding figure and tried to continue in poor Brutus' problems. However, I had no such luck.
"OOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! MR DARCY!!!! I SEE THAT YOU ARE READING!!!!" (Yes, lady, anybody with eyes would have been able to see that, and must she holler?) "READING IS SOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD FOR YOU!!!" (Yes, I think so too, so why don't you leave me to read in peace?) "I TOO AM A GREAT READER, YOU KNOW. OOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! JULIUS CAESAR!!! I LOOOOOOOVE THAT BOOK!!! YOU KNOW, WHEREFORE ART THOU AND ALL THAT" (Is there a sillier woman in the whole of England?)
Luckily, Charles entered the room before I killed his sister. He rolled his eyes, and said, "Caroline, I have private business with Darcy. You know where the door is."
A more subtle hint could not have been given. Dense as she is, she got the hint, and pouting in what looked like a very good imitation of a lime green fish, she left the room at last.
I turned to Charles, my gratitude written all over my face. He smiled, and...smiled, and smiled. Uh oh. I knew what was coming. (Jane Bennet is the most beautiful woman in the whole of England.) "Jane Bennet is the most beautiful woman in the whole of England," he sighed. (See? I told you.) I sighed. I hate to say this, but sometimes, Charles tends to ramble a little... I mean a lot. "Oh, Darcy, did you see her that night? She looked like an angel. She is an angel. Oh, Darcy, do you think that perhaps she thinks that I am an angel too?" He had this soppy grin on his face, one that I had seen countless times before. I shook my head. Charles was falling in love again.
A few weeks later....
How long are we going to stay in this blasted place? No elegance, no style, and no cards. Well, there were cards, but the players here were as bad as I had thought. We had just been invited to the Bennet house. The BENNETS!!!! That's right, one whole evening filled with a sappy Charles, and...Elizabeth Bennet, the impudent girl at the ball (not to mention her mother). It hadn't even started, and I already could not wait for it to end. The only highlight of the night was that CB and the Hursts had to go back to London for some important nonsense. I was just glad that CB was not there to breathe down my neck yet again. She really should learn that breathing down a fellow's neck is definitely NOT the way to catch a man.
Anyway, when we arrived, the Mother received us. That was not good news. I felt like crying right there and then when she started screeching in a way that was strangely similar to the screeching of a certain person whose initials were CB... However, I bore up bravely under the endless torrent of words and tried my best not to scream at her. Finally, when even Charles's radiant smile was slowly fading off his face, the Daughters entered. In first were the two Younger Sisters, Lydia and Katherine (Kitty). They chattered on, ignoring our very presence. I bristled with irritation and resentment. Charles, of course, just smiled genially at them. Next was the Middle Sister, Mary, who was preoccupied in a book, and paid little heed to our (rather Charles's) greetings. The night was going from bad to worse. I heard a soft gasp from the hyperventilating Charles, and knew that Jane Bennet had made her entrance. The Mother's already broad grin grew even broader at his reaction. (Why don't you be a little bit more obvious, Charles? I'm sure only half the world knows of your infatuation.) After her entrance, I heard a light laugh coming from the stairway. I turned my head to see Elizabeth Bennet on her father's arm enter the room which was getting a little crowded. She looked at me, and tossed her hair, smiling in that infinitely infuriating way. I glared at her in return. For some queer reason, this made her grin even more. Thankfully, we were called into dinner just then.
After Dinner, the three of us men retired to the card room. Although I had never played with Mr. Bennet, from the quality of his neighbour's card playing I supposed that he was a horrible player as well. However, a group of three could hardly play a decent game of anything. We sat there deliberating this dilemma, (for I'd rather play with horrible players than not play at all) when Mr. Bennet got up and crossed over to the ladies and spoke to his second daughter who then followed him to the card table. (Oh no...not another wannabe male!!!) I smiled frostily at her, and Charles naturally smiled warmly. (He always does.) She sat down and shuffled the cards deftly, and asked," so what shall we play, Gentlemen?"
I sighed, and suggested a game of bridge. She nodded, and so did her father and Bingley. She dispensed the cards, and we started playing.
After a game which Mr. Bennet, who was my partner, and I won, I realized that the Bennets were no paltry opponents. Both father and daughter played with a confidence that was only found in the best of players, and it was obvious that they were no beginners to the game. My competitive nature was aroused, and we played another game. This time, my partner was Elizabeth Bennet, and we trounced her father and Charles.
After a few more games, (all of which my partner and I won) we decided to change the game. I shuffled and dealt the cards, and we started to play poker. Poker is my pet game, and I enjoyed it for the challenges it presented to me. Usually, I win when I play poker, but to my dismay and total surprise, Mr. Bennet won the first game easily. I was astounded. (It appears that that he is a better player than I thought.) I narrowed my eyes, and played more cautiously in the second game. I won it, and my confidence returned. (after all, even the best players lose sometimes.) However, we had just started on our third game, when the clock struck 10 o'clock, and we knew that we had to leave.
Charles stood up, and gave a very unrealistic sigh, and tried, very unsuccessfully to sound disappointed when he announced that it was time for us to leave. I looked up in indignation, but I took pity on the poor man, who obviously did not like playing with so many players better than he was. However, Mr. Bennet said, " Why don't we finish this game first?"
Charles was just about to protest, when Jane Bennet entered the room. He sat down immediately, and nodded, and smiled, staring at JB. I smiled, and we continued to play. I had a good hand, and knew that I would win. I threw my card down, and said, "Straight flush. I'm sorry, but I think that I have won yet again."
Charles sighed, and threw his cards down. Mr. Bennet did the same, but Elizabeth Bennet smiled and stopped me as I was collecting the chips. She laid down her cards, and I was astounded, for there before me was a royal flush in spades. I had been beaten by a woman.
On our way home, I was still marveling at the happenings of the night. Charles had laughed until his face was blue the minute we were in the carriage, and although he had subsided in his jollity at my expense, he still gave a few chuckles every now and then, shaking his head. I glared at him, and he said, "You should have seen your face! Can you imagine what they would say in the ton if it were let out that YOU lost to a woman? And a country woman at that." He raised his eyebrows suggestively at me.
I almost tore his throat out. "You will say no such thing. Anyway, I only lost once, and she just got lucky."
"I'm sure" he replied flippantly.
When we got back to Netherfield, I was still in a blue funk, and to make it worse, once we arrived, a luminous orange creature appeared at the door. "OH!!! THERE YOU ARE!!! WE WERE SO WORRIED ABOUT THE TWO OF YOU!!!! ISN'T THIS A LOVELY SURPRISE? WE'RE BAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!" (oh no! she's baack!!!)
At that, I shuddered, and Charles grimaced. We got out of the carriage slowly, and we entered the house, all the while 'entertained' by CB with her stories about London. I smiled weakly, made my excuses and escaped to my room as soon as I could, which wasn't soon enough for me.
That night, I lay on my bed moodily, thinking about the game. Then I had an idea. "and may the best player win!" I whispered as I drifted off to sleep, a smile on my face
The next day, I woke up, got out of bed, and covered myself with a terry robe, for another great secret of mine is that I like to sleep butt naked. (Ladies, control yourselves.) Anyway, I changed, and went down for breakfast. Fortunately, I had woken up before CB, and thus managed to avoid her advances, which I didn't welcome at all, much less so early in the morning. (Whew!) I decided to take a walk, as I am, among other things, a superb walker.
I strode along the quaint country road, enjoying the sight of the countryside, when who would appear, but that impudent wretch, Elizabeth Bennet. She walked up, and said, "Good Morning, Mr. Darcy. I must say, I truly enjoyed last evening, especially the later part of your visit." She smiled snidely, and I swear that she sniggered, although she tried to hide it with a cough.
I narrowed my eyes. "You were just lucky, Miss Bennet. After all, you only won one game."
This time she laughed right out loud. She blinked, and said, "Oh, Mr. Darcy, I let you! If I was truly playing my best, I would have beat you hands down, no doubt about it!"
I tell you the truth, if I wasn't a gentleman, and she a gentleman's daughter, I would have fought with her there and then. Instead, I flared my nose, and said hoarsely, "Miss Bennet, I challenge you to a game of cards, and then we will see who's the better card player."
She smiled mockingly, and with her eyes gleaming, said, "Deal. Tomorrow night. Here. Come alone. And may the best WOMAN win."
I turned on my heel after giving her a brisk nod. By the time, I had returned to Netherfield, I was in a fine temper. I stomped into the house just as Charles was going out. "Ah! Darcy! There you are! My sister was getting worried." He laughed at his own very unfunny joke. However, he sobered at the Look I shot him. "Hey, Darce, what's wrong with you? It was just a joke. Hey, I have a brilliant idea! Why don't we pay a visit on Mr. Bennet?" I sighed, and felt my temper cooling, for one cannot be angry long around such good nature. "Charles, I doubt if he will appreciate our presence as we were just there yesterday." He sighed too, and started smiling again. "Ah! I know! We should have a ball here in Netherfield! You could ask Georgie and your cousin to come too!" before I could reply, I felt a Presence behind me. Then I heard it. " MR. DARCY!!! WHERE WERE YOU? I WAS GETTING WORRIED!" At this, Charles smirked. "SO WHAT ARE WE DOING TODAY? (Hopefully, WE would not be doing anything)" I smiled weakly and said, "Erm... Charles and I...erm...we were planning to...to..."
"To go hunting! Yes, we are planning to go hunting. That's right. (Thank You, Charles) Caroline, I think that maybe you should not join us, we might just shoot you!" (Hmm...good idea) She stared at her brother, aghast.
CB frowned, and said "But Charles, it's not hunting season yet."
We glanced at each other, then Charles (my savior) said, "Oh, Caroline, what do YOU know about hunting? We will be hunting, er... birds! That's right, birds." At that, we left the house and CB as fast as our legs could take us.
I didn't notice what we did that day, for I was thinking of what would happen when night came, and strangely, I was thinking of a certain shrew's musical laughter and sparkling eyes.
That night, I could barely contain myself at the dinner table. Once the clock struck 10, I got up. "My, I don't feel very well, I think maybe I've got a cold." At this, CB got really excited at the thought of nursing me back to health. That made me grimace. "But, I think an early night will make me feel much better." (Definitely MUCH better after I beat the pants...no, Skirt off Elizabeth Bennet!)
Charles looked at me most sympathetically, and I felt a slight twinge of guilt at taking advantage of his immense gullibility. Once I had escaped the dining room, I went to my room. "Henry, pass me my coat. I will be going out for a while, so don't let any one know that I am not in the room. ESPECIALLY NOT CAROLINE BINGLEY!!! I have told them that I'm sick, so play along and tell them that I am resting and am not to be disturbed." Henry just nodded, for he was used to my nightly escapades. I climbed out of the window, and my valet winked at me and said, "Good luck, Master Darcy!" I grinned back at him, for Henry had been my personal manservant since I was in the cradle.
When I got to our meeting point, I saw the diminutive figure of Elizabeth Bennet waiting for me. She was wearing a white dress that was obviously her nightgown. Not that I WANTED to see anything, but it is hard not to notice when a woman stands before you wearing practically nothing. Anyway, back to the story. She looked up warily at the sound of my footsteps, but once she saw me, she smiled, and said, "I thought that you weren't coming."
"I am not afraid that you might beat me, Miss Bennet, so what reason was there for my absence?"
She just smiled again, and led me away from the lane, explaining, "Anyone can see us if we play there." I nodded, and followed her, for she knew the country better than I did.
She led me to a tree in the forest, which had a hollow in it, and in that hollow was a lamp. She lighted it, and took a deck of cards out of her pocket.
"Where are we to play, Miss Bennet? Surely you don't expect me to sit on the ground, do you?" I asked, reasonably, I might add.
She gave me a scathing look, and countered, "Well, you can always stand if you wish, but I would rather sit on this branch. She reached up, and pulled herself up onto a low branch, an ideal place for spying on my cards. I narrowed my eyes, and pulled myself up alongside her. The branch gave an ominous creak. She threw her head back and laughed, and then barely managing to suppress her amusement, (I didn't see what was so funny) she said, "Mr. Darcy, perhaps you are too heavy for the branch?" I blushed, and jumped down...and knocked my chin on her knees. "Owwww!!!!" The both of us agreed for once, that that hurt.
After rubbing my chin for a while, I stationed myself in front of her, directly facing her. "Can we start now?" She nodded, and passed the cards out. Just as we started playing, the sky gave an ominous rumble. We both looked up nervously, and as fat droplets of rain started falling on us, we hastily kept the cards. She jumped off the branch, and without further ado, took the lamp out of the hollow and climbed into it. She pulled my hand, motioning for me to get in too, wordlessly, for the thunder was so loud that we couldn't hear each other. I climbed in quickly, for I did not want to wet my jacket. The tree was very big, and we could fit in it, although it was a bit of a squeeze. Her face was squashed against my chest, and my chin was touching the top of her head. She looked up at me, her eyes filled with amusement, and she smiled at me. I don't know what came over me then, for I smiled back, bent down, and brushed her soft, wet lips with mine.
I had never kissed a woman before, and I didn't know what to expect, definitely not Miss Bennet's response. After I pulled away from her, she sighed and closed her eyes. Then she said, hoarsely, " I... I don't know what to say, Mr. Darcy."
" Then don't" I replied before kissing her again. It was thus that we spent the night rather enjoyably. However, all good things come to an end, and the rain stopped after a few hours, during which I had expressed my complete love and adoration of her, and asked her to marry me. And do you know what she said? She said yes!
It is needless to say that we got married soon after, for if FD wants something done, it will be done... unless of course Elizabeth objects....
The End
Author's Note:
On their wedding night, ED beat FD at a game of hearts, but he insists that it was only because he was too distracted by something else....