Beginning, Section II
Jump to new as of February 6, 2001
Jump to new as of March 4, 2001
Jump to new as of March 14, 2001
Chapter 11 ~ Bennets, Bingleys, and a Dog
"Now we shall see what the Singapore Society has to offer," said Caroline Bingley.
"Oh, it's all wonderful, you'll see," said Bingley happily. "Raffles is the best place for a party, and it will all be spectacular. Why, just the other year, at this very Assembly, they released one thousand butterflies from the ceiling... Wonderful."
Miss Bingley looked disgusted.
"That's horrid, Charles! They must have gotten into the food!"
Bingley thought for a minute.
"Why, yes, I suppose they did spoil the food, Caroline. But no matter! It was a lovely initiative!" And he nodded to himself, confirming. "Quite spectacular!"
"Charles, you do live in the clouds," huffed Caroline, and walked ahead down the broad, curved staircase leading to the lobby and the Raffles Hotel Ballroom.
Bingley shrugged at her back.
"She does worry about the oddest things, you know. She's not paying for the ice cream! Oh, yes, Darcy! Did you get my letter?"
"Your letter? No, all I got was the draft. All covered in inkblots and unreadable."
"Really? But I never write drafts! I'm sure I sent you the proper one!" cried Bingley.
"Well, it was undecipherable, Charles. All I could make out was: "I blot blot Jane Bennet blot blot really blot why blot blot blot..."
"Jane Bennet!" cried Bingley and looked like he'd been handed the Moon.
"Jane Bennet is the most wonderful, beautiful, lovely, handsome, endearing, enchanting, absorbing, adorable..."
"Darcy! Where are you? Charles, don't keep him waiting, I want to enter!"
"No time for adjectives now, Bingley," smiled Darcy, that sudden surge of happiness had hit him again; it could have something to do with the fact that, with the aid of Miss Bennet and the trusty Lao, he'd met several rubber farmers and almost had a closed deal with two of them; more to follow shortly. Yes, it was truly a wondrous feeling, and in his mind's eye he saw Pemberley's new roofs, shining in the pale Derbyshire sun...
I must write again to Georgiana; she will be delighted. Actually, he should write to his Aunt Fitzwilliam, too; he'd not yet received a letter from his sister, which was worrying him... Not that letters hadn't gone astray before... We're not in London anymore.
No, definitively not in London. You'd not find a dog at the Ritz, that's for sure. At least not a dog looking as... as skanky as this one. Darcy was sure he'd seen the beast before... yes. Wickham's dog, that was it.
He grabbed Bingley's arm.
"That dog... Surely they can't let him roam around like that. I mean, he could have rabies for all we know!"
Bingley blanched.
"Ah. Ah, yes, well... That dog, you see... Well it's Wickham's mixed breed."
"I know that! But he's hanging about in the lobby!"
"Thing is, Darcy, that dog..."
"Yes?"
"Well, it has a temper."
"A temper." I am come among madmen... How come they all fear that tiny thing?
"Yes, it's something fierce. Better leave it."
"But the ladies..."
"Oh, everyone knows to stay away from it... No, don't look at it."
Darcy sighed.
"This place just gets curiouser and curiouser..."
"Mr. Darcy has only just come through the Looking - Glass, Charles," said an amused and familiar voice behind them. The gentleman turned, and beheld a stunning vision; Elizabeth Bennet dressed to the nines.
Darcy could do nothing but blink at her. The dress, some kind of silk he assumed, had tucks and trains and floating curves... No, the curves are all her, he realised. She'd never looked prettier. She outshines even... Even that sister of Bingley's... I can't remember her name...
"Elizabeth!" cried Charles and leaned in for a familiar kiss on the cheek.
"Where's you sister?"
She tried to look offended, but gave up.
"Jane will be here shortly, Charles. Mother had some last - minute instructions..." Elizabeth raised an arch brow at Darcy.
"Struck speechless by my clever literary allusions, Mr. Darcy?"
"No," he blurted, "by you... I mean by Charles' appalling lack of manners, Miss Bennet. May... May I escort you to the ballroom?"
"What?" screeched a voice in his ear, "My sister, Mr. Darcy, is waiting for you over by the doors!"
Good grief, the Bingleys are come in full tonight, he had time to think before Louisa Hurst insinuated herself between Darcy and Miss Bennet. She was wearing her favourite purple, and, oddly, a mink stole.
"Oh, hello Louisa," said Charles, and looked down at his short sister (even Elizabeth Bennet was taller than Mrs. Hurst, Darcy noted). "Where's that husband of yours? I'll take Caroline in, we all came together."
Miss Bennet smiled.
"No, no, thank you but I'll wait for my father, gentlemen... Mrs. Hurst."
Louisa Hurst surveyed Miss Bennet critically.
"Miss Lizzie Bennet. You've... not changed."
Miss Bennet, however, was not paying attention. Darcy felt oddly cheered by that.
"Charles!" Elizabeth pointed. "Is that Wickham's half-breed mutt behind the palm - tree?"
Before Charles could open his mouth, however, his two sisters bore down on them and Bingley and Darcy were dragged away. He twisted in Mrs. Hurst's death - grip to try and convey some message (of what, he didn't really know); but Miss Bennet's attentions were elsewhere.
Darcy resigned himself to his fate, and attached a fuming Caroline Bingley to his arm; but while escorting his wife - to - be to the Ballroom, his thoughts were all aimed at one thing:
I must dance with Miss Bennet! We have... business, yes, business, to discuss!
Chapter 12 ~ Through the Looking Glass It seemed Lady Catherine ran the show; or if it was just that she was posted by the doors, grabbing everyone that entered. Or, well, almost everyone. She merely sneered at Miss Bingley, who was instead captured by Sir William Lucas.
"I see you brought Miss Bingdong, nephew," sneered Lady Catherine. Darcy wasn't sure he had, it was more a case of Caroline bringing him, so he merely shrugged.
"Well, Anne has saved you the first two dances, and there are other women here you should dance with," she ordered. "Maybe you won't have time to dance with Miss... Bishop."
Darcy was trying to get a glimpse of the alluring Miss Bennet, so he merely said,
"Yes, Aunt Catherine," not paying attention. Mrs. Hurst was, though, and glared at him.
"Ah. Mrs. Hurst," grovelled Lady Catherine (she had an amazing voice), and glared in her turn. "You might want to remind General Hurst the night is young, and so on."
They all followed her look and saw General Hurst in a corner, a tray in front of him - he'd managed to empty half the glasses on it already.
"Excuse me," said Mrs. Hurst in a tight voice, and went to him, for an argument, Darcy predicted.
"Horrid woman," said Lady Catherine. "Now go mingle with Anne." And she pushed him in her daughter's general direction. Listlessly, he made his way towards her, but was saved by an arm coming out of one of the decorative palm - trees.
"Hello," said the arm.
"Hello," said Darcy, and tried to find the owner of the arm. Not that he didn't know who it belonged to - he just had to find the rest of him.
"Join me on the balcony?" said Richard, and he wasn't lisping, so Darcy joined him.
It was a beautiful night, not humid at all, and you could see the stars. Darcy stood by the railing, taking a deep breath of fresh air. Richard leaned against the wall, his face in shadow.
"Elizabeth Bennet is divine tonight, isn't she?" said Richard.
"Oh yes," said Darcy, smiling. Hey, waitamin...!
"I mean, I wouldn't know. About Miss Bennet."
"No? I saw you drooling over her a minute ago."
"And I can give you another punch in the face, Richard, any time," said Darcy pleasantly, regaining lost ground.
Richard put up his open palms.
"Not tonight. I'll need all my brains, thank you."
Darcy raised an eyebrow.
"And what is happening tonight?"
Richard grinned.
"Keep your eyes open, and your ears too. I have indications something will go off tonight."
"Curiouser and curiouser."
"...Why are you quoting Alice in Wonderland at me?"
Two can play at this game, Richard.
"Guess. It will keep you on your toes, Richard." Darcy's smile was positively wolfish.
Richard opened his mouth to reply, but the light glass - doors to the balcony were pushed open and two people tumbled out. They reached the railing not far from where Darcy stood. It turned out to be a man and a woman, both laughing breathlessly. The man leaned in for a kiss, so Darcy coughed. The couple separated at once, and the woman's movements brought her face into the light from the windows. It was one of Elizabeth Bennet's sisters.
"Good evening, Miss Bennet," said Darcy, and made sure he sounded about as disapproving as he felt. The lady shook her golden curls.
"Oh! Mr... Darcy? Isn't it?"
Katherine. Yes, Katherine Bennet, that was it.
"Indeed, Miss Bennet. Fitzwilliam Darcy. And..."
Miss Bennet tittered.
"Oh! This is Lieutenant Carter, Sir."
Carter bowed.
"A pleasure, I'm sure."
I'm not so sure. How dare he take her away like this...! Foolish woman! Elizabeth's reputation could suffer from her sister's behaviour!
Speak of the... Elizabeth Bennet appeared in the doorway.
"Kitty? Kitty, are...?" She stopped when she saw her sister and Carter. Darcy took a quick step forward.
"Forgive us, Miss Bennet, for stealing your sister like this. She wanted some fresh air, so I accompanied her... and Mr. Carter, of course."
Elizabeth smiled at him, relieved.
"I see. Very naughty of you, Mr. Darcy, Kitty knows her mother needs her by her side. Gentlemen." A slight curtsy. "Come, Kitty."
The ladies left, and Carter made as if to follow, but Fitzwilliam left his wall and stepped in his way.
"Oh, and Cavtev, my fviend... Don't do that again, will you?" His voice was the usually lazy lisp, but Darcy saw Carter's face lose its colour.
"No, Sir. Mr. Darcy." Fitzwilliam let him go.
The cousins stood together on the balcony. No one spoke. They didn't have to.
Later, Darcy finally met the elusive Mr. Bennet. It was Sir William Lucas who introduced them; Sir William seemed to have decided Darcy was part of the family. Darcy wasn't that thrilled; while being related to the Governor of Singapore could be very profitable, Darcy had long since decided Sir William was a moron, and while he could live with morons in his family, he wasn't about to encourage the practise of expanding the numbers.
Though I have a sneaky feeling I'll have to get used to it.
Where did that thought come from? Singapore had such an odd effect on Darcy; he really wasn't the person to throw around literary quotes in an idle conversation...
Mr. Edward Bennet looked much like his daughters Elizabeth and Lydia; he was short and dark, but he lacked the feminine allure of his daughters. He lacked masculine allure, too, for that matter - but then Darcy was paranoid these days. Richard's lisp was pushing him over the edge.
"Mr. Darcy, I'm very happy to meet you. You keep my daughter very busy," he said in a friendly manner. Not at all inquisitive, merely making conversation.
"I would hope I don't cause you any inconvenience...?"
"Certainly not. I'm happy when my children find their own interests."
"Mr. Bennet," said Sir William, "is a notable figure here in Singapore."
"Yes, I heard about the Emporium back in England, Mr. Bennet. It has a very good reputation."
"The Emporium?" said Mr. Bennet. "Oh, that's not what Sir William is talking about. The Emporium belongs to my wife's family, I merely work there. No, I'd be happy to show you my butterfly collection any time."
"Your... butterfly collection?"
"Yes."
"I... see."
"BENNET! MR. BENNET WHERE IS THAT HUSBAND OF MINE?"
Darcy and Sir William jumped; that voice could carve a path through stone. Mr. Bennet didn't even twitch.
"Excuse me, gentleman, my wife wants me for something, apparently." He sauntered off.
"Nice chap," said Sir William, his eyes on the retreating Bennet, " a sissy, of course, but they get like that here. It's the weather, I suppose."
Darcy tried not to choke on his brandy.
"Look," Sir William turned back to Darcy, "I wanted a word with you. We're having a little something over at the Lodge, next week, men - only, thank god. Some friends of mine - lots of important people and so on, of course. Do you good to join us. We'd like to have you."
Darcy smiled, he knew Opportunity when it looked him in the eyes.
"Sir William," he purred, "I'd be delighted..."
"Good, good. All informal, and so on. A little club of sorts. Lovely, see you then, and all that. Bingley chap'll take you. Good, good."
Good, good indeed.
Chapter 13 ~ What a Party! Bingley grabbed him.
"Darcy, you have to dance! With a Bennet! But not Jane! I have to dance with Jane! Isn't she Beautiful?"
Darcy looked over at the Blonde, eh, Miss Jane Bennet, and liked what he saw very much. She had nothing on Elizabeth, of course, but still... Well, she'd do well with Bingley, if she liked him... She was looking pretty bored, actually, but smiled automatically when spoken to.
"She is the prettiest woman in the room," said Darcy generously.
"Tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me," burped someone behind him. Darcy and Bingley turned, to behold a very drunk General Hannibal Hurst.
"Well, you shouldn't be tempted!" cried Bingley, "you're married!"
Hurst blinked at them owlishly.
"What's that got to do with anything? All Louisa does is nag nag nag... Didn't even tell me she was coming to Singapore!"
"Wives can do that sort of thing," remarked Darcy cautiously, " when their husbands don't write for a year or so..."
Hurst looked sadly into his now empty glass.
"Women! Can't live with 'em... Can live without them very well..."
He ambled off to find himself another drink. Unless his wife found him first, Darcy supposed.
"Anyway, won't you ask Elizabeth Bennet to dance?" pleaded Bingley, only temporarily hindered in his pursuit by the depressed Hurst.
Well, Darcy had only planned to dance with Elizabeth Bennet for about the whole evening, so he followed his eager friend across the room.
And was nearly clogged by the Bennet welcome - committee; Mrs. Bennet.
"WHY, IF IT ISN'T PEMBERLEY! WHAT AN HONOUR! ARE YOU HERE TO DANCE WITH JANE, MR. DARCY? OR MAYBE MARY OR KITTY? GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES, I ALWAYS SAY!"
Aww what godawful voice and manners the woman possessed! Darcy clenched his teeth and ground out:
"May I have this dance, Miss Bennet?"
Elizabeth Bennet smiled sweetly. Darcy just knew she'd say something about him taking one of her sisters, but actually, she said:
"You may," and then he was as close to Miss Elizabeth Bennet as he'd ever been since clutching her frantically when their car was heading for that tree.
That had been nice (if terrifying), this was even nicer (if still terrifying).
She had a nice smell.
He held her a little closer.
"Well, say something, Mr. Darcy. We must have some conversation."
He smiled down at her.
"I thought the visit with Mr. Younge went very well."
"It was your clever take on taxation that clinched him, he's been frantic for loopholes ever since his mother died and left him all those odd properties."
"Well, do you think we could go up against the SCBA soon?"
"That's your decision..."
"But...?"
"No, I say we wait." She grinned. "Let them come to us..."
Charles passed them, Jane Bennet in his arms. Darcy caught a snatch of their conversation.
"...I can't talk of anything sensible in a ball - room, my head is so full of something else..."
Darcy bit his lip. Well, apparently he could. Honestly, discussing business while holding Elizabeth in his arms, well, could it get any better?
He escorted her to a seat next to an open window, and went to get them some punch. With any luck, he could avoid Anne de Bourgh for a little longer, and keep Elizabeth Bennet near him.
When he returned to Miss Bennet, she put a finger to her lips and shook her head. Surprised, he sat down. She was listening to a conversation from the balcony, and gestured to him to do the same.
A man's low voice, a very commanding voice, was saying;
"...And get the papers to him by tomorrow. He'll have to do it via Berlin, I suppose... That could be in our favour, in the long run."
"And the Americans?" A lighter voice.
"Not a problem. It's the cids we have to worry about... Correction you have to worry about." A short laugh.
Elizabeth whispered:
"Stay, and try to find out who they are. I'll go get Fitzwilliam."
Darcy nodded. When she had disappeared into the crowd, he rose like a cat to tip - toe out on the balcony to catch the pair. Or, that was what he meant to do.
What he actually did, was to rise abruptly, forgetting the two glasses of punch balanced on the seat next to him. They dropped to the floor and broke loudly, splashing Darcy's shoes with punch and making a lot of heads turn his way. Ignoring his audience Darcy dashed out onto the balcony... too late. His prey was long gone, disappeared into the dark night.
Fitzwilliam came running up to him, Elizabeth behind him.
"Did you see them?"
"Um, no. Some noise scared them off," said Darcy embarrassed, and tried to keep his punch - wet shoes out of Richard's sight. Some of it was inside the shoes, too.
And then, the evening stopped behaving like a chapter of Alice in Wonderland, as Darcy had to watch Elizabeth Bennet dancing twice with every eligible bachelor in Singapore, while he was ordered about by Lady Catherine. He danced with Anne, and then Sir William's flighty daughters, and Anne again.
He had Anne at table, and while he felt relieved no butterflies were dropped on their heads this time, one of the ten white doves released from under a silver lid did it's best to foul his ice - cream. He danced with Caroline, who was in a snit, and then he ended up consoling Mrs. Hurst of all people, as he and Bingley had to drag her husband to a temporary bed in Caroline's suite.
By that point the Ball was over for the Bingley party, but a happy Bingley cracked open a bottle of champagne and kept Darcy and his sisters up while he talked and talked and talked about the Blonde Miss Jane Bennet, prettiest woman in Singapore...
"She smiles to much!" said Darcy at last, just to shut him up.
"Yes," agreed Louisa, "She smiles too much!"
"Very true," nodded Caroline, "the woman smiles too much, Charles!"
"In fact, she smiles at just about every available man!" burst out Darcy. "I'd advice caution, Charles, where the Bennets are concerned! The father has no control over his children, the mother is half - witted, and the daughters ill - bred!"
After that parting shot, he nodded his goodbyes to the ladies and the stunned Bingley, and left them. Only to, in the privacy of his own rooms, make lines in the carpet as he ambled around trying to understand himself.
Everything he'd told Charles about the Bennets was true. So why did he feel this bad?
Before going to bed, Darcy swore never to dance with Miss Elizabeth Bennet ever again.
Business, that's all. And I should speak to Bingley about Caroline and me... Soon. We might as well marry here in Singapore.
That resolved, he proceeded to toss and turn until morning.
Chapter 14 ~ The Dreams of a Darcy
Raffles Hotel, Singapore, June 1900
It is a truth generally acknowledged, that a sufficiently clever man, at one point, will have to stop pretending. And when Fitzwilliam Darcy sat up in bed, flushed, trying to both expel and recall (in the most intimate detail), his dream, he reached Insight.
It was a flash of pure understanding, shaped into one short sentence;
I am in love with Elizabeth Bennet.
Yes, there it was. The truth. It.
I am in love with Elizabeth Bennet.
Darcy examined the evidence.
Dreams. I've had dreams about her every night for the past month. And what dreams! Enough to make a grown man... Nevermind. But clearly, the dreams are in her favour.
But a man was allowed his dreams. What with the Suffrage and the like around, these days a man was lucky if he got to keep his dreams to himself. Also, no matter how interesting and clever and charming - I sound like Bingley! - Elizabeth Bennet was, she was a very attractive woman to look at, and, Darcy being a Man, he was naturally inclined to be attracted to attractive women.
However, I do not dream of Caroline Bingley, and she turns men's heads. Awww, this lead to another Insight. I do not care about Caroline turning men's heads, but I hate every man that danced with Elizabeth at that stupid Ball. Every man but himself, that was. And don't forget that Wickham - guy! Darcy was still curious to know if he'd been on his way to see Elizabeth.
Elizabeth. Elizabeth, Elizabeth, Elizabeth.
What a lovely name.
"But I don't like her!" he cried out to the empty room. But that was childish. He'd admired her very much ever since that day at the docks, his first day in Singapore. Even more so when he'd discovered her wonderful head for business. Had she been a man... Oh, they would have made such splendid partners!
Had she been a man, I would still have loved her.
And that thought made him jump out of bed, run into his sitting - room, and do three frantic laps around the couch. Finally, he opened a window and leaned out, into the cool morning rain. Letting it pour down his head and shoulders.
Well, it's the truth. Or he wouldn't have been upset. Of course not.
He had admired her since the day they met, he had liked her since that first time at her office, he had loved her since climbing onto that motor - car an early morning and seen her smile as he was putting on his goggles.
I have loved her... I love her.
Drying his wet hair with a towel, he pushed Truth aside, and tried to implement Logic.
I love her - so what?
Yes, indeed, so what? While being truthful to yourself - what was that quote - we must look our hearts in the eyes - absurd, yet a very true sentiment behind it - all well and good, but Darcy had a Purpose in life, and after following this Purpose for twenty - eight years or so he wasn't about to abandon it. He had a Responsibility. Duty.
Pride. Call it Pride.
Yes, call it pride. The pride of a Name: Darcy - even Fitzwilliam Darcy, he was named for two great families, old, proud names. And they meant something, must mean something, or there was no point to his Purpose. All the names of his ancestors, embodied in another name: Pemberley.
Pemberley, his Father's house. And his Grandfather's, and so on. Pemberley, more than a house (bricks and stones are, in truth, just bricks and stones), it was people and lands and a reputation for honesty and fair play and... And care. It should mean care. But the past few decades had been unkind to the Darcy's and Pemberley. And so, the roof was leaking.
Thus, Fitzwilliam Darcy had travelled to Singapore to set up a monopoly in the rubber - export. He had a few years, at most, before the rest of the world caught up with him and forced him to compete with them... So he came to Singapore to restore Pemberley's roofs. To restore Pemberley.
Full circle. Almost.
Because yes, he had to marry. He was the last of the Darcys. His sister's sons would bear another man's name - as they should. And he would marry like a good son of all his forbearers; marry a woman who knew how to act, who had a name that people respected, who had her own money...
And she must be a woman I like.
He liked Caroline Bingley.
Oh, she got on his nerves. She could be terribly annoying. But she knew what was expected of her, and she did what she was supposed to do. He'd never expected anything more in a wife.
I had not expected to meet a woman so different.
A woman like Elizabeth Bennet. A woman that wouldn't be an... ornament. But... was that fair to Caroline Bingley? ...Was she an ornament?
Well, she plays one.
And that was probably fair. But he knew her so well he knew she wouldn't abandon the part, as soon as she was Mrs. Darcy (or Lady Darcy); she would not turn into her sister. Oh, be fair, Louisa is married to Hurst, what could you expect...? No. That was taking 'fair' too far. He'd not spend his morning justifying Louisa Hurst.
Caroline would, if that was his wish, let herself be parked in a London Home.
She would also trust him not to steal all her money to repair Pemberley's roofs.
Ergo, Caroline Bingley and Fitzwilliam Darcy liked, trusted, and knew each other.
Marrying Elizabeth Bennet would be like a constant ride on that motor - car, without the trusty Lao at the wheel. Heading for that tree.
It would be a wonderful ride.
Until we crash.
She was Singaporean. How would she fair in England? With all the rules and regulations, and the strong borders between people of different backgrounds?
She'd carve her own path.
She would. Because she was too honest, in the long run (and this was why she hadn't used her sneaky talents doing business for herself - yet another revelation, this morning of so many revelations), too honest to play the part Caroline would play until she became that part, and forgot it wasn't always so.
Elizabeth would carve her own path, and I couldn't live with a woman who followed different rules.
I couldn't.
Could I?
Well, that was the question, wasn't it? Could he change that much, to accept an Elizabeth Bennet in his life?
Maybe it was time he found out.
Dressing hurriedly, he left Raffles for a walk to the Emporium.
To look my heart in the eyes.
Chapter 15 ~ Pride and Prejudice
"Miss Bennet! My dear.. Miss Elizabeth! Miss Bennet!" and so on. He knew that voice, he'd first heard it a morning in May, and later, on lazy Sundays in Church. He could never persuade Elizabeth Bennet Sunday was a good a day as any to do business...
So he went to Church with Bingley and his sisters.
The voice belonged to the Reverend Collins, Archibald Collins.
Darcy increased his pace. Lydia Bennet's words echoed in his ears: he was going to propose to you!
There was a nice park not far from Raffles, he'd been there several times now, Miss Bingley, he remembered, had said it isn't quite Hyde Park.
Elizabeth was walking briskly, but as Collins was running he'd soon overtake her, Darcy saw. So Darcy ran too, only he made sure to keep behind the shrubbery. It did not occur to him to ask himself why he was hiding in the shrubbery. Darcy was moving on instinct now; he felt like he was closer to his caveman - ancestors than ever before: Singapore and it's odd effects on him, again.
Elizabeth Bennet finally stopped and let the Reverend catch up. He stumbled to an undignified halt in front of her, panting loudly.
"Miss... Bennet..."
"Yes, Mr. Collins?"
Her voice struck Darcy's heart. So cool, so melodic, so Elizabeth!
"Miss...gasp... Elizabeth... Bennet... Will you... gasp, gasp... do me the honour..."
No! He is going to ask her just like that! I have to do something!
Darcy tensed, preparing to leap out of the bush like some panther, and take down Collins.
"...Of waiting... until... gasp... I have... my breath... back?"
"Oh, all right," shrugged Miss Bennet, and sat down on a bench nearby. When Collins made as if to join her, she stopped him with a Look. Instead, he settled with standing a ways off, calming down.
Elizabeth was idly looking about. Darcy covered behind the shrubbery. She looked at the shrubbery for a very long time... But didn't seem to see him.
The Reverend seemed to have recovered, he turned back to Miss Bennet.
"Miss Bennet! " he bellowed. Darcy jumped, and was caught in some thorny twigs. Elizabeth didn't even flinch.
"You may lower your voice, Reverend. I can hear you quite well, I assure you."
"Oh... sorry. I mean, you have not been very forward with me."
"I should hope not!"
"Oh! No! No, I mean, you are Modesty personified, Miss Bennet! Yes, and I admire you for it. Your little unwillingness to... my presence, I mean, to be alone with me..."
Oh come on man, you know the truth: she doesn't want to be around you! But then Darcy didn't want Collins around Elizabeth, so maybe he was projecting.
"Well, I honour your modesty, Miss Bennet."
"Mr. Collins, I have a business to run. Would you please get to the point?"
"Miss Bennet... Elizabeth... I can assure you, I have your dear Mother's permission to address you..."
"You what? My Mother's permission to address me?"
Elizabeth rose, her eyes ablaze.
You go girl!
"Well, dear Elizabeth, you must know by now I have singled you out as my Companion on the Voyage of my Life, and, I might add, it looks like it's going to be a long and successful journey, too."
Darcy ground his teeth... But his eyes were on Elizabeth, and he suddenly realised she was struggling with... laughter?
"Elizabeth, here are my reasons for marrying you!"
And, in that bizarre way things happened in Singapore, he pulled out a piece of paper.
"I have a list."
Elizabeth abruptly sat down, shaking with suppressed laughter. Darcy was cheered by that, but reminded himself women got hysterical over the strangest things... Maybe she was shaking with suppressed passion.
"You... have a list, Mr. Collins?" she choked.
"I have a list, dear, sweet, Elizabeth."
Urgh. Does he have to call her that?
"Miss Bennet will do just fine, Mr. Collins." It appeared Elizabeth too was tired of hearing him call her 'dear Elizabeth'.
"Oh, don't be coy, sweetie, be quiet and listen to my list now."
Uh - oh. I wouldn't talk down to her if I were you, Collins.
But she said nothing, just frowned.
"My reasons for marrying you are, first, that I am in need of a wife. I must set the example, out here, where, as you may be aware, Miss Bennet," a condescending smile here, "people are not as careful about appearance as they are back in England. This marrying natives and living in sin must stop at once. I have a Program to implement, as soon as the Bishop gives me the go - ahead. We must remember, Miss Bennet, that English standards shall rule even outside of Home. I know you agree."
"I've never been to England," she replied, flatly.
"Oh, we shall move there soon, my dear, I'm too valuable to be wasted in the Colonies. But hush, there's more. Secondly, I am sure marrying you would make me a very happy man, and, as you may know, Miss Bennet, a happy man Serves better."
"I think you should keep God out of this, Mr. Collins."
"Uh... well. My third reason for marrying you is that your Uncle has a small fortune, and your dowry will help me to further my career."
"My dowry! My dowry, Mr. Collins, is non - existent! What money I have, I have earned in my work!"
"Your work, yes." He shook his head. "You'll have to stop running around, of course. But I know you were merely waiting for my proposal; young ladies nowadays are restless, and your father is, if I may say it myself, lax."
Oops. Even I saw that trap, Collins. Darcy shook his head. Nothing to fear from this man, no.
Elizabeth straightened, looked Collins in the eyes.
"I have heard your proposal, Reverend, and you will forgive me for being blunt, but I absolutely reject your suite."
To Darcy's and Miss Bennet's surprise, this clear rejection made Collins throw back his head and laugh.
Miss Bennet stared at him. Darcy would have too, had he not suddenly felt a tiny hand on his sleeve. Choking down a scream, he found Lydia Bennet crouching next to him. Darcy opened his mouth, but she put a small hand over it.
"Hush! No time to talk! I've got the dog!"
Mr. Collins had stopped laughing, now, and stepped up to Elizabeth. Darcy felt he had to take action...
"Wickham's dog?" he hissed. Lydia nodded.
"Right. Circle around. Unless she gets rid of him right now, release it."
Lydia nodded, and started edging back.
"Wait! Lydia, follow them... No one gets hurt, all right?"
She smiled impishly.
"Lydia!"
"I hear you, I hear you... I can tell you're Ayah Fitzwilliam's cousin."
What the... But no time for that, Collins was arguing now, in what he must think was a persuasive voice.
"...and I know you young women always want to say No a couple of times, but I tell you, Elizabeth, I won't pay any attention to that. Come here."
As she wouldn't oblige her suitor in that way, Collins instead took a step forward and grabbed her arms. Darcy whimpered in sympathy.
But Elizabeth Bennet just Looked at Collins.
"Take you hands off me now, or I will hurt you, Mr. Collins. And I mean hurt you." Her voice was rather pleasant, if a bit too cool.
It appeared the message came through, because he released her. Darcy wondered where Lydia was, and the dog. Collins straightened and cleared his throat.
"I shall speak to you parents, Miss Bennet. I'm sure they will give us their consent."
Elizabeth Bennet shook her head.
"Enough. Stop it. I will not marry you. Look me in the eyes, Mr. Collins, and tell me I'm lying. Go on, look me in the eyes."
Brave man, thought Darcy, as Collins tried to look her in the eyes.
"I..."
"Not another word, Mr. Collins. Not another word. You had better leave now, that's Wickham's dog."
She nodded in the direction of the running dog, and Collins gasped, and, after a quick look to make sure it really was the dog, started running.
"Good riddance," she muttered after him. "Mr. Darcy, you can come out now. I hope you didn't eat any of the berries, that shrubbery is poisonous."
Darcy hurried out of the shrubbery, embarrassed.
"Miss Bennet. I..."
She smiled.
"Spare me, Mr. Darcy. I know exactly what you were doing in the shrubbery. I forgive you... Using Lydia was a bit much, if you ask me, but it was a nice touch I admit."
"Eeh... Miss Bennet if you had seemed at all interested in his offer, I would not have..."
"Really?"
"...Marriage, to you...?"
"Marriage, to me, Mr. Darcy, is impossible. There is not a man on this earth that will give me the freedom I crave. Marriage, to Mr. Collins or anyone else, is out of the question."
"...No man on earth?"
She smiled at him, fondly.
"I like you, Fitzwilliam Darcy. But I know men; you all want to rule us women."
"I would not..."
"Hush." She put a finger to his lips, lightly, but her touch was like fire. "Don't say things you will regret later. I must go."
She left him there.
Me and my Pride. She and her Prejudice. I have to finish this, or we'll head for disaster.
Chapter 16 ~ Dinner Without Proper Dancing
Bingley excused himself for a minute, and Sir William Lucas leaned over the table to say, in a low voice:
"So... You have a pretty thing, there, Darcy."
Darcy panicked. Had he forgotten to button up his... no.
"Sir?"
"Miss Caroline Bingley, I mean. Handsome woman. Pity about the dog, though."
"Sir, Miss Bingley is the sister of my friend, nothing more."
"Really? Doesn't look like that to me. She seems to think you are to be married... soon."
"No such thing. I mean, certainly she is a woman one would find... attractive if one wanted a wife."
Yes and why do I keep postponing the inevitable? Caroline is handsome, and rich, and devoted to me. So why do I keep imagining Elizabeth Bennet as Mistress of Pemberley? Stop it! Stopitstopitstopit!
Mr. Bennet, seated next to Sir William, also leaned over the table:
"I would not think her suited for a life in the East, Mr. Darcy. Her being a redhead... and other things."
Darcy shrugged.
"I don't plan on staying here, Mr. Bennet. I have my estate back in England, a property which needs much care."
Especially as of now, with the leaking roof.
"Pemberley, yes, I know of it," said Mr. Bennet. Was there a hint of irony in his voice? "But, if I may ask, Mr. Darcy, then why is it you are so eager to make connections here in Singapore?"
Darcy blushed, and was quick to swallow a large drink of port. Lords, the last thing he needed was Elizabeth Bennet's father suspecting he had a more than casual interest in his captivating daughter.
Well, all I'm doing now is looking, after all... No harm in looking...
"I hope Miss Bennet has not been disclosing what she shouldn't, Mr. Bennet. It would not please me to find out she has... betrayed my confidence."
There! Right back at ya!
But Mr. Bennet, as always, was not offended. Really, the man seemed to have no notion of honour. Well, he was married to Mrs. Bennet.
"Touché, Mr. Darcy! No indeed. My Elizabeth has told me nothing of your business, I was merely repeating what I'd heard on the rumour - mill."
"I was not aware that my actions generated any kind of interest in the Singapore society, Mr. Bennet?"
"Oh, come now Darcy," Sir William shouted, laughing, "you are my nephew, after all! Of course they all want to know you, to see if you could be used as a leverage on me."
"Or, at least a leverage on the Lady Catherine," Mr. Bennet added quietly. "Do not underestimate the ladies of Singapore, Sir William." Mr. Bennet looked thoughtfully at Darcy. "There is an old saying here, that the men rule Singa - pura, but the women rule the men."
This wisdom was wasted on Darcy, however, he was occupied with trying to think of how to inform Sir William that he was not that gentleman's nephew, not by a long shot. Only, he had to tell him in a polite way.
Just when several gentlemen began to wonder if Bingley'd lost his way between the Dining - Room and the privy, he appeared, excited, in the doorway.
"The tiger has been seen again!" he cried out. "Just outside town, on Bradley's property. He wants a hunt organized, tomorrow if possible!"
"A tiger - hunt, boy?" shouted General Hurst, and staggered to his (not very stable) feet. "Well by Gawd he shall have it! Lucas, have you no weapons lying around? I was the best shot at Sandhurst, I'll bloody well take down the pussy - cat myself!"
Several cries of "No! No!" came from less inebriated members of the party.
"By Jove, Huvst! You veally cannot go out shooting in the middle of the night!" lisped Colonel Fitzwilliam, and straightened his cuffs. "The ladies would be so fvightened! "
"Ladies?" cried Hurst. "Why, the only lady I see here is you, Fitzwilliam! Making a really good impression of one, you do! Who let you in, anyway?"
Sir William shrugged.
"Well I sure didn't, I reckoned someone else did. Fitzwilliam is hardly my ideal of a real man, as it is."
"Sir William, really..." Darcy stood up. Say what you like about Richard, he was Darcy's cousin, and it wouldn't do to let some miserable Step - Uncle insult him. But Richard cut in.
"No, no, Davcy, veally it's all vight! I was in the mood for my Aunt's fine bvandy, and I knew Sir William wasn't likely to invite me to this assembly, so I snuck in. And now, convevsation having turned all to manly fov my taste, I will take my leave of you all." And with that, he was gone.
"Fitzwilliam gives a whole new meaning to the concept of annoying," muttered Mr. Bennet to his brandy.
Meanwhile, Hurst had spotted an old gun on the wall, a gun looking like it had had experience in the War of 1812, and staggered towards it.
"I'll shoot the cat, all right. Or Fitzwilliam, whichever one comes first."
The majority of the gentlemen ducked down under the table, probably wise after several earlier incidents, I'm sure.
Darcy and Bingley looked at each other.
"He's your embarrassing in - law!" hissed Darcy. Bingley shrugged.
"He... He... He's less likely too shoot you," Bingley pointed out, and eyed the room for a hiding - place, but most corners were already taken.
"Bloody heroics," muttered Darcy, and approached Hurst, who was now covering the room with the gun, aiming at plants and protruding backs.
"Wait a minute!" Sir William suddenly left his hiding - place. "That's Granny's old thing, it isn't loaded!" A general sigh of relief fell over the room, and men got up from under the table.
"For the sake of Adam...!" Darcy stomped up to Hurst. "Give it to me, Hurst, you'll scare the ladies!"
"Nononononooo!" Hurst aimed at Darcy. "I'm going hunting, and you can't stop me, Louisa!" And then he fired.
BLAM!
Smoke appeared from the gun, clouding everything and everyone in grey.
Dead silence fell over the room, as Darcy looked down on his shirt, rapidly
turning crimson with blood.
"You shot me?" he asked Hurst, disbelievingly. Hurst nodded, almost sober now. Darcy turned around and faced Sir William Lucas.
"I thought you said it wasn't loaded!"
Sir William shrugged.
"Sorry old chap, one can't be too careful these days, I always say."
"But now I'm going to die!" cried out Darcy, outraged. He had always imagined he'd die at Pemberley, in bed preferably. And now he'd never see Elizabeth Bennet again...
"Elizabeth... " he croaked, and fell to the floor.
Chapter 17 ~ Family is Nothing But Trouble
Now, if you have to play the hero and you take a bullet, the least you'd expect is that when you wake up, feeling very bad, a pretty woman would be at your bedside. Darcy got a woman all right, but it was Lady Catherine Fitzwilliam de Bourgh Lucas.
And her daughter Anne, today featuring pink bows and white lace. And, cousin Richard, looking too much the dandy. And that horrid Sir William, and a strange woman Darcy didn't know; probably a nurse.
He closed his eyes again. Maybe they'd all go away.
They didn't.
He could hear Anne breathing.
Then, suddenly, a cool hand was on his brow, and there was a rustle of skirts.
Elizabeth! She came! Unless it's Anne... but no, she has claws for nails...
Slowly, he turned his head, and, smiling, opened his eyes. And there, wearing white, looking like a fairy - princess, stood his own dear...
"Georgiana?"
"I think he's awake," said Sir William Lucas.
"Guess again," said Darcy. "I'm hardly awake if I can see my sister by my bedside, because my sister is currently in London with my Aunt Clorindha... Your mother, Richard! Can you imagine why I have this sudden urge to get out of bed and kill you?"
Fitzwilliam's face was the picture of innocence.
"Now, now, Davcy, I had nothing to do with this! Veally!"
"Oh no? So I am to believe that my sister, the girl who has never even walked by herself from Pemberley to Lambton, suddenly had an urge to come all the way to Singapore?"
"Fitzwilliam! Really, I am standing right here! Look at me, and stop shouting at cousin Richard!"
"For someone who's been shot, he seems to be doing just fine!" remarked Sir William.
And who appointed you spokesman of this family? Really, Aunt Catherine is very quiet...
"Fitzwilliam Darcy! Why on earth did you go and get yourself shot like that? Why, no one in the family was ever shot at! It simply isn't done! "
Oh. Not quiet. She was warming up.
"Well, theve was Fvedevick Fitzwilliam, the Admival. He was at Tvafalgar. Got a bullet in the bvains, if I recall covvectly!"
"Richard Anthony Elric Fitzwilliam!"
"Well he was! And then theve was Lady Oleanne, she was mavvied to Umpton, you know, the bankev, you nevev appvoved of him, Mothev says, because..."
"Richard!" everyone in he room shouted together. "Shut up!"
"Ah, if you've all going to be like that... " Fitzwilliam threw Darcy a black look and left the room.
"And now your sister is here, alone and unchaperoned!" Lady Catherine went on.
"I am not alone! Mrs. Annesley," she gestured at the strange woman Darcy'd
taken for a nurse, "went with me!"
"Silence, child! I don't know this Annesley, and I don't care! Young ladies are not to travel alone around the world!"
"I don't take orders from you!" shouted Georgiana, with much more gusto than Darcy'd ever noticed in her.
Lady Catherine blanched.
"Impudent child! I take my hand from you! And you too, Fitzwilliam Francis Alexander!"
And wouldn't that be a blessing...
"Now, Catherine, the girl's probably upset at finding her brother in this sorry state," said Sir William.
"I distinctly recall you put me here!" accused Darcy.
"It was Hannibal Hurst!"
"You told me the gun wasn't loaded!"
"Catherine! My children are taught obedience to their elders!" barked Sir William at his wife.
"So?" said Lady Catherine coolly to her husband, suddenly losing all her anger.
"So what?"
"So what has your children's behaviour to do with the price of eggs?"
"They probably suck them," hissed Anne.
"Catherine! Are you going to let them speak thus to me?"
Georgiana sniffed indelicately.
"Well, I don't know who you are, sir, but if you were the man who shot my brother, what are you doing in his sick room? And for that matter, what are you all doing here? Anne is certainly not a sight for tired eyes!"
Go Georgiana! If just shut up, she might get them all off of my back... But she's too young to understand the consequences of her words. SIGH. Darcy to the Rescue, again.
"ANYWAY, I was shot very recently... How recently?"
"Yesterday," answered the Annesley - woman.
"Thank you, I was shot yesterday and when I woke up I found not only most of my family, but also Others," a nasty look at Sir William, "and my Dear Sister, who still hasn't explained to me why she is in Singapore and not at Pemberley!"
Georgiana gave him a slight smile.
"You get to have all the fun, all the time, Fitzwilliam."
"Fun? Fun? Nononononooo, Georgiana, that's not how it works. I work my... tail off so you can have a future! I have dreary meetings with old crazy Singaporeans that chew bark and shoot at me, and I walk through jungles and I'm shot at and climb chimneys looking for sheep and did I mention I get shot at?"
He stopped to catch his breath. His face was probably very red, judging from the frowning Mrs. Annesley.
"Post - traumatic stress," declared Lady Catherine, still in that cool voice.
"Urgh. Aunt Catherine, enough with the Latin, I was shot at. "
"Don't be daft, it was a mere flesh - wound."
"You bled like a stuck pig," hissed Anne delightedly.
"Oh, shut up Anne," said Georgiana. "I'd like to be left alone with my brother, thank you very much."
To Darcy's surprise, Lady Catherine suddenly smiled at Georgiana.
"You are a true Darcy, after all," she said approvingly. "You may come and stay with us at Lucas Lodge, if you like."
Darcy blinked.
"No, thank you," answered Georgiana, "We'll stay with my brother, at Raffles."
"Well, come to dinner. I haven't introduced you to Sir William, yet."
Darcy threw a look at Sir William, who was looking like he was eating a lemon, but at least he was silent.
Lady Catherine pushed her husband out of the room.
"Anne!"
"Coming, Mother," hissed Anne and leaned over Darcy. She put her claws on his arm.
"Later... Cousin."
Darcy shivered. That wasn't a threat, that was a promise. Anne left the room, tailed by Mrs. Annesley.
Georgiana sat down on a chair by his bed.
"So... How's business, big brother?"
And she smiled, looking like the angel she was, and Darcy suddenly felt that no matter what, his dear sister was here and for a little while, he could be happy.
He was in a comfortable half - slumber, secure in his hospital - bed in the late afternoon, and the worst heat was cooling into night.
Bang! Bang! Scrape, bang, slam! CRASH!
"The door was open, you know," he mumbled. "No need to barge in like that."
"Well I only came to see if you were dead."
He sat up, heart pounding. That voice...! Yes, it was She. Elizabeth. Looking her usual lovely self, and frowning very hard.
Get a grip, Darcy!
"Yes, well, good men are hard to kill."
"I thought it was the other way around, myself." She didn't smile.
"Oh, yes. M' mother sends you these." She threw a scrawny bunch of flowers at him. "From our garden, I don't know what they're called."
"Why, they are... er... very lovely." He eyed the bunch carefully. "Very... rare."
"She forced me to bring them."
"All right."
"I didn't think about it, I just wanted to ask when you needed me again. For work. Unless you are dying, that is."
I need you always, Elizabeth. But you are too far apart from me, and Pemberley.
Maybe...yes.
"Miss Bingley might like flowers like these, you know. For our wedding."
He regretted his words the instant they left his mouth. Oh no I didn't mean that, I....
But she only straightened and looked away, and he couldn't read her expression.
"I'll come back some other time, Mr. Darcy. That is, if you are not too busy planning your wedding! "
Oh, my. She managed to slam the door twice.
Then she returned.
"Not that I care! I wish you well! And your lovely bride! I hope she brings you a dowry of many cows! "
And then she was really gone, and Darcy had never felt so alone in his whole life. Stupid, stupid woman; why couldn't she be more like Caroline Bingley?
He tried to think of Pemberley, but as of late, Pemberley was no comfort to him.
Chapter 18 ~ Singapore Sling
Darcy waved at Wickham.
"One more, please. And easy on the water."
Wickham, he noticed, was smiling at him, but for once he didn't care. Three Singapore Slings and the world already looked much better. The Bar and Billiards Room was sparsely populated this lazy Saturday noon, with only Darcy, Wickham, and two old tossers, come in from outlying properties. It was the warmest day since his arrival, and for once the city agreed with him, an eerie quiet having settled at least in the European Town.
Oh, I dream of a La-ady with dark-brown hair.. Her smi-ile's as pretty as her sister's fair...
A hand on his arm, and suddenly a richness of red hair was thrust in his face.
"Darcy!" Miss Bingley screeched. "I've been looking for you!"
"Well, here I am. Did you want something?" Rude, he knew, but then he was not in the mood for Caroline Bingley, nursing as he was a wounded arm and a broken heart.
"It's my poor Cocasse." The rag was pushed into Darcy's face, and it immediately started to hiss at him. He didn't know dogs could hiss.
"Be so kind as to remove that... thing from my face, Caroline!"
"Now, don't be such a grouch, Darcy, can't you see there's something wrong with him?"
He sighed and tried to look at it with neutral eyes. No, the furball still looked like a weird sheep, and all fangs were bared and way too close to his face.
"He looks just the same, Caroline. Maybe it's the heat... You could try shaving him?"
"Shave him? Really, Darcy dear, this is a Champion dog! To shave him would be... ridiculous."
"He'd look right stupid, for one," interrupted Wickham.
"Who asked you?" growled Darcy, he'd not forgotten Wickham's leaving Elizabeth Bennet's office, no siree.
"I'll thank you not to interrupt your better's conversation," sniffed Miss Bingley. "You may bring me something cool to drink."
"Yes, ma'am," said Wickham, with a dark look of his own.
"Anyway, Caroline, there's nothing the matter with your pet. He might be a bit bored, for all we know."
"Bored? Well, the Society so far has been... "
She never finished what ever derogatory remark she was about to offer, as a loud
BANG!
disturbed the quiet of the hotel. Darcy jumped the highest, as he recognised the source of that shot as the same bloody gun that had nearly killed him three days ago.
"Damn! Someone let Hurst at the guns, again," he swore. Well, let someone else play the hero this time.
Caroline had reacted to the noise by dropping her poodle, who hit the floor with an audible
Thump!
and started to bark.
Darcy would have made a clever remark about Caroline's seeming disinterest in the little rat's welfare, as dropping a dog on the floor hardly could be called caring.
But he never got the chance to, as at that moment another gun went off, loud screaming could be heard from the Lobby, and a tiger entered the Bar and Billiards Room.
How could I ever imagine Anne de Bourgh looked anything like this? I mean, yellow and brown just doesn't cut it!
Well, running away was not an option. The tiger guarded the doorway by simply standing in it. Darcy could hear excited cries from the Lobby, but no one turned up with a gun.
"Gngr," said Caroline Bingley. "Gnugra...ws.. ghe."
"You're not making any sense, Caroline," he said, but to his own amazement that came out as "Gngr... eioo, Crlin," so it appeared they were both scared witless.
Strange, he'd been afraid when Hurst pointed that gun at him, when he thought it was loaded, but when he was shot he'd been mainly angry at the stupidity of Man, and angry that Elizabeth Bennet would never be his.
Now, he was terrified.
The tiger took a step towards them. Caroline stumbled towards Darcy, but his survival instincts had kicked in by then, and he did not wish to be burdened with a female if he were to escape the tiger. Well, had the female in question been Georgiana, or... He'd love to sweep Elizabeth Bennet into his arms, and fight tigers for her, well, he'd definitively be able to sweep her in his arms.
Caroline fell to the floor, and, on cue, started screaming for dear life.
Her dog, ever the adversary, stopped barking, and instead stalked towards the tiger.
"Call the dog back!" ordered Wickham, half covering behind the bar. His voice had lost all its usual servility, and something in Darcy's back - brain clicked, and he felt as if this voice, somehow, was important, but the thought fled quickly.
"Cocasse!" cried Caroline. "Come here!"
But Cocasse kept striding on his little legs towards the tiger, who looked at the little dog with what Darcy could only describe as curiosity.
Light footsteps outside the Bar door.
The tiger took a step forward, and reached out his head to the poodle.
Elizabeth Bennet stepped into the room.
Her sudden appearance had several consequences. The tiger at once turned on her, the poodle, spying a Friend, gave a bark of pure joy, and ran straight to her, passing below the tiger's legs, making Caroline faint in fear (or if it was that she fainted because the dog so obviously preferred Elizabeth, Darcy couldn't quite tell), and Wickham left his half - crouching position behind the bar.
"Silly woman," said Darcy, suddenly fearless, "now I'll have to rescue you too."
Elizabeth looked at him, surprised, but didn't reply, instead she gathered the dog in her arms, turned towards the Lobby, and shouted:
"It's not here, only Miss Bingley's poodle making some noise!"
"Excuse me, Elizabeth," said Wickham in a controlled voice, "but am I correct in assuming you just told several men with guns the tiger was not in here?"
She smiled at him, and Darcy felt a stab of jealousy pierce his heart.
"Indeed, George!"
"And why did you do that?"
"Oh! I can't let them kill old Thorndyke! He's the only tiger left in Singapore!"
"He doesn't look very old to me," said Darcy. "Stand back, woman, I'll wrestle him down and Wickham can go get the men with guns."
"Excuse me?" Elizabeth turned on him. "Excuse me Mr. - my - fiancée - is - lying - on - the -floor - and - I - don't - care - Darcy, but didn't I just say there is no way this tiger will be killed here today? Do you have a hearing disability?"
"Impudent woman! This tiger could kill you at any moment! Why can't you ever do what I tell you to?"
"Why? Well, if I remember correctly, it was you who gave up any rights to tell me what to do, when you told me in no uncertain terms that you were to marry Miss Bingley! After I hear a vivid recollection of how my name was the last thing on your lips before you lost consciousness. You idiot!"
"I can't marry you, Elizabeth, you are too far below me, and I need the money, AHUM, I mean, I need a woman by my side who... who... who takes orders!"
"Well you have her! Lying at your feet, even! So bugger off, and let me handle this!"
"Listen, I could stand here all day listening to the two of you arguing, really I could, but there is still the little matter of the tiger!" said Wickham in desperation.
Miss Bingley stirred.
"Cocasse?" she whispered. "Is he... dead?"
"I think Cocasse is a she, and she isn't," answered Elizabeth, and let the dog down. "Go to your mistress."
Caroline sat up.
"A she? I don't think so, Miss Bennet!"
The poodle ran over to her, passing below the tiger again, and tried to lick her face, a move brutally curtailed.
"Women! Have none of you examined the mutt?" asked Darcy, interested. "It should not be very hard to tell."
"Really, Darcy!" cried Miss Bingley. "As if I should ever...!"
"Oh, I'll do it! Mr. Darcy here can't go around thinking women are afraid to... to..." There, some feminine shyness obviously kicked in, and Elizabeth was silent.
"Just hold him, Caroline," ordered Darcy, "and I'll take a look..."
"That does it!" cried Wickham, "If you are going to examine the bloody dog while the tiger is looking at me like that, then I'm calling for help!"
"You are not!" Gasped Elizabeth. "George, no!"
But Wickham didn't heed her.
"The tiger is right here, in the Bar! Come and get it!"