Posted on Tuesday, 13 November 2001

Captain Price: Captain's Log, Stardate 1811. Pass some grog. My daughter Fanny, having gone off to that #/($ medical training academy, has graduated, but is she coming to my ship? No! she's going to that $/!() Deep Mansfield nine.

(theme music)

Deep Mansfield Nine exists at the edge of a Wormhole, which much wealth is being gained from. Two warring planetary systems are nearby, planet Lydia, an ally of the Federation, and planet Wickum, an evil planet. The Wickums are attempting to invade the Lydians. The first scene occurs with Medical Officer Fanny's Arrival

Acting Captain Norris: Since Captain Thomas is away arranging trade in the Wormhole, I am in charge. And I hope you realise that you are only here thanks to our great charity. Now, get to work. I have organised you for a 18 hour work shift, followed by 6 hours off.

Medical Officer Fanny: Yes, Captain Norris.

Fanny goes to sick bay...

Officer Brandon: (putting down a book) I presume your doctor will want to see you now. Shall we finish reading it tomorrow?

Ensign Marianne: Yes, please. I am so sorry about all the trouble I caused, going down to a planet without scanning first. My actions could have caused pain to everyone who cared about me.

Ensign Musgrove: Well, you finally arrived! I am feeling very ill today!

Fanny goes to treat one of the patients

Medical Officer Julia: No, no! You're not doing that right! This is new equipment!

Medical Officer Maria: Ah, it's only to be expected. She comes from a very old and falling apart spacecraft.

After a while, Fanny, rather gloomy, goes to her cabin

Officer Edmund: Hello! I just came to greet you - are you all right? Are you ill? is anybody angry at you?

M.O. Fanny: No, no, it's all right....

Officer Edmund: You are sorry to leave all you knew. It's all right. Let's have a walk in the holodeck park, and you can tell me about it.

Later, on the Bridge

Norris: Officer Edmund! I see you have given Fanny a tricorder from stores. I don't see why! She could easily use Maria's or Julia's whenever they don't need one.

Medical Officer Maria: (running in) I am now engaged!

Captain Rushworth: I have four and twenty ships under my command!

Maria: (to herself) He is a fine catch! Love in marriage is purely coincidental.

Later

Officer Tom: I'm back I brought friends! Let's have an all-night drinking session.

Henry Crawford: Hello! I'm his charming friend! You are all beautiful ladies!

Julia: He's mine!

Maria: No! He's mine!

Fanny: No! You mustn't get drunk. More than two units a day is bad for your liver and can lead to serious ill health...

Tom: God but you're insipid!

Edmund; I think I agree with her.

Mary Crawford: What? You won't come with us? (bats eyelashes)

Edmund: Oh... all right, I will!

That night, in Yates' bar, loud music and drunken behaviour is occurring...

Fanny: I really must encourage all of you not to drink any more!

Maria: Be quiet, Fanny!

Henry: Fanny, do you want to *whispers something in her ear, and is slapped in return*

Rushworth: Ah, Maria! I love you! You still love me, right?

Maria: You still have twenty-four ships in your command?

Rushworth, well, yes...

Maria: Then of course! And now I must go talk to Henry.

Edmund: Mary! I think I love you!

Mary: And of course I love you.

Captain Thomas (entering): WHAT IS GOING ON HERE! STOP THIS INSTANT! THIS IS NO WAY FOR MY CREW TO BEHAVE!

In the next few scenes, Maria marries Rushworth and they go to the planet Lydia for their honeymoon, but Crawford follows them there, gets military information off of Maria, and runs off with her to Wickum, where he launches an invasion force.

Edmund: Mary! What has your brother done? Did you know about this?

Mary: No, I didn't know about it, but he must go with his convictions.

Edmund: I no longer love you.

Mary: Why the ")$" "/$()"! !"#=(!"#="!=!"( not?

(Edmund looks shocked)

Meanwhile, on the bridge

Officer Tom: We have attacked Wickum, and found officer Maria, though we have not yet found Henry yet!

Captain Thomas: Maria, you are in deep trouble! Your banished from the federation!

Norris: that punishment is much too harsh for my dear girl.

Cpn Thomas: It is actually quite lenient!

Norris: How dare you! Don't worry, Maria! I'll go with you and take care of you!

Maria: Noooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

(Norris and Maria leave, and a pod is seen being sent through the wormhole.)

Cpn Thomas: Now, let us find that Henry Crawford and the armies of -

(explosions rock the ship. Thomas is knocked out.)

(Fanny and Edmund enter from opposite sides)

Fanny: Oh, no! Quickly! You treat him! I'll defeat the attackers!

Edmund: but, Fanny, what do you know of -

Fanny, laughing happily, blasts the attacking ships of Henry Crawford to itty bitty pieces, fights off the people who teleport aboard with her bare hands, and then, once all is over, sends a radio message to the pod with Maria and Norris...

Norris: Hello?

Fanny: Hello! This is Deep Mansfield 9, telling you to enjoy your banishment, you horrible old trout!

Norris: Well, I never!

Fanny: Well, you should have! End signal.

Edmund: Ah, Fanny! I just realised how much I loved you! will you marry me?

Fanny: It depends.. I find I like being powerful and in control now that I've tried it.

Would you support me in my new career as a starship captain? I'm going to apply for a transfer.

Edmund: Of course!

Fanny: Then I will marry you! Now, let us get married then I can start my rise to galactic empress!

Edmund: Fanny?

Fanny: well... Perhaps ship's captain will do for now...

Stay tuned for Price Trek: Voyager!