Jump to new as of August 22, 2001

Posted on Wednesday, 14 June 2000

Okay, I know the title's not real subtle, but it's the best I could come up with. This is a story about lesbians. If you don't like lesbians, don't read this. Also don't read this if you are offended by mild cursing, cafeteria food jokes, Jane Austen, puppies, kittens, moose, T-shirts, posters, computers, keyboards, fanfiction, schools, chickens, vegetarians, cotton, blue jeans, razors, tellytubbies, Hair or hair or hare.

The Intro

Annie and (much to the disappointment of her friends and family) Walter had three girls together (which really didn't thrill Annie's mother all that much at first, but grandmothers are fundamentally grandmothers, so she soon forgot her disappointment and set out to spoil them). Shortly after the third girl, Mary's first birthday, Annie died of Austen plot disease. Walter, in bewilderment, sought the guidance of his and Annie's parents, along with that of Annie's friend and Walter's neighbor, Gertrude Russell. Gertrude's own daughter was already in her late teens and hadn't ever blown up anybody's house or school, so Mrs. Russell seemed like a logical and convenient source of advice.

The Elliot children grew up, as did the one child of Sophie and Frank.

And Now All That Intro Stuff Is Done... On With The Story

She was relieved to remember that this was her last year of high school, and annoyed that this was only the first day. She gave a mental shrug and then entered the building.

Everyone was milling about and making a lot of noise in the foyer. Anne looked at the large crowd and decided not to go searching for her sort-of friends right now. She found a place to sit on the freak side of the school and pulled out a book.

Freedom Wentworth entered her new school. "Yippee," she thought "A new bunch of intolerant morons to feel alienated from. Well, that guy with the fishnet stockings on looks different anyway. That skirt's not really my style, but it kind of works for him." It was about here that Freedom stopped pondering the guy in the skirt and started thinking about the ground. This was because she had hit it with considerable force (which is not something that the ground appreciates).

"Are you okay?" someone asked.

Freedom looked up to see a short Asian girl with rather messy hair. "Yeah, thanks" she said as the girl helped her up.

"Are you a dancer? You're so graceful." Said the girl.

"Gee, thanks, rub it in." Freedom said, laughing.

"Like I'm one to talk. Hell, I've fallen up the stairs. More than once."

"I have too."

"Wow, we must be like, twins, separated at birth and given massive plastic surgery. Oooohooo."

"Or soul mates."

"Nah, mine are rubber and yours are hemp."

"Oooh, that was bad."

"Sorry, but you're the one who set me up."

"I know. Sorry."

After an awkward pause Freedom said "I hate these awkward pauses, don't you."

"I never can think of anything to say in the morning."

"I'm not exactly thrilled to be out of bed at the moment myself."

"Yeah."

"Oooh, there's another one."

"Another what?"

"Another awkward pause."

"Oh."

"Well, don't just say 'oh', it will only get us into another one of those wretched pauses."

"What would you like me to say then. I'm rather out of conversational topics at the moment."

"You could introduce yourself."

"Oh, yeah, forgot to do that."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Well, what's your name?"

"Oh, right. Anne Elliot."

"I'm Freedom."

"Freedom?"

"Yeah, my parents are... kind of whatcha call mellow."

"Oh, yeah. Sounds better than my parent. He's kind of whatcha call, an idiot."

"Gee your so nice."

"I know."

"And modest."

Anne's reply will remain undocumented because at this time the first bell rang and Anne and Free walked off in different directions.

Posted on Monday, 19 June 2000

Class was the usual first day fare. The teachers spent their full periods going over rules that everyone in the class had learned since kindergarten, and the students went to sleep. Anne surprised herself by being glad that Freedom was in her second period class. She usually couldn't manage emotion that early in the morning, especially not positive emotions.

Of course any sort of happiness was soon drilled out of her by the syllabi and the slow drone of teachers as they went over the rules. The rules went like this:

Rule #1: Do what I tell you to

Rule #2: There is no rule #2. Refer to Rule #1

On the second day of school, Anne received her first and last note. She was quietly reading a book while AP US History went on around her when the boy sitting across from her tapped her arm. She looked up and he offered her a small folded piece of paper. She took it and mouthed "To Who?"

The boy mouthed something back.

She mouthed "What?"

He pointed at her.

Anne looked in the note and sure enough something that could possibly be Anne was scratched out on the front of the paper. Anne realized she was grinning, which was highly suspicious in this class. She placed the note in her pocket, straightened her face, and pretended to care about the damn pilgrims until the end of class.

While walking between history and physics, Anne pulled the note out of her pocket and began to read. She got as far as Hey before giving up and deciding to ask the author to translate. So she looked at the bottom of the note and what could quite possibly be an F was at the beginning of the signature. "Freedom," she thought. Anne grinned again. She had never much liked the idea of notes. They had always seemed rather pointless. But it was nice to do something that would classify as "normal teenage behavior". For the experience of the thing

Freedom was walking to the cafeteria when someone tapped her on the shoulder and said "Greetings, O She of the Horrible Handwriting."

Freedom turned around "Anne!" she said. 'Did I just use an exclamation mark?' she thought to herself.

"Hi," said Anne, "Got your note, well you know that, but I couldn't read it."

Freedom found herself embarrassed. "Um, yeah. Actually I'm not sure why I did that. I never write notes. But all of the sudden I just wanted to. Stupid and a bit cliché I'm afraid."

"That's okay. I never get notes, so it was a new experience for me."

The two girls grinned at each other, then after a moment began studying their respective feet.

"Um," said Anne, "Are you going to lunch?"

"Yeah."

"So am I, well I guess the lunch bag was kind of a clue, wasn't it."

"That reminds me, I've got to stop by my locker to get mine. Cafeteria's not exactly veg friendly."

"You're a vegetarian?"

"Yep."

"Cool."

"Are you?"

"No, like seafood way to much."

"Ah." Said Freedom as she found her locker and opened it. "Got it."

"'kay, do you um, have people to sit with?"

"Not really."

"Well you can sit with me, but I'm warning you, I sit with some of the biggest geeks in the school. I am one of the biggest geeks in the school."

"That's okay, I've been hear one and a half days and have already managed to alienate most of the student body."

Anne gave something halfway between a chuckle and a snigger.

"What can I say, I'm talented." Said Freedom.

Freedom met Anne's sort-of-friends. When they got to the cafeteria, the boys were discussing the reasons behind half-pint bottled water. It was really rather remarkable that they could sustain a conversation about half-pint bottled water for more than three seconds. They could have gone on for days.

The small group comprised of Joey, a pale scrawny little guy who liked to criticize what people were wearing and didn't seem to notice how incredibly gay he was, Harry who would talk to a brick wall if there wasn't anyone else to talk to, Tom, an enormous computer geek, and Robby, who liked impersonating sprinklers and seeing if he could shove various objects inside of his mouth. They accepted Freedom, because geek-ism isn't conducive to snobbery and because she had some interesting theories as to why anyone needed half-pint bottled water.

Anne frantically rifled through her closet. 'Hell,' she thought, 'time to run out the door and suddenly I decide I care what I look like. What is up with me. It's only Shakespeare in the park.' Anne grabbed a pair of jeans that didn't have a hole in them and a nice shirt. She contemplated her khaki pants instead, but it was, after all, Shakespeare in the park, so there was no need for her formal wear.

"Damn," muttered Freedom, as she hit herself in the eye with the mascara applicator. This whole makeup thing was harder than it looked. She probably should have learned how to do it before now, but it had never been important before. Now it was. She didn't know why, but it was.

Ding Dong.

The door was opened by a smiling middle aged woman with very long blonde hair.

"Hey," Anne said, "is this the Wentworth's, or have I got the wrong house again?"

"You must be Anne," said the woman. "Come in, I'm Sophie."

Anne had never seen so many plants crammed into one little house. Freedom had told her that her mom was a botanist, but this was almost surreal. The Wentworths would have carpeted the floor with grass if they could have managed it.

"This is Frank," said Sophie motioning to a middle aged man with long greying hair and the sort of beard found own people who were not meant by nature to have beards.

"Hello," said Anne, "I'm Anne."

"Whoooooaaa," said Frank. Anne had never seen anyone so impressed by her name.

"Don't mind him. I think he's having a flashback."

"Oh," said Anne.

Fortunately for Anne, who was starting to feel quite uncomfortable, Freedom ran down the stairs and said "Ready?"

Anne nodded.

"Bye Sophie, bye Frank," said Freedom.

"Goodbye Ms.- er -Sophie and Frank."

"Bye girls. Have fun."

When they got into the car, Anne asked "Does your dad flashback often?"

"Nah," said Freedom, "Fortunately, he wasn't a real heavy acid user back in the sixties. I guess that's why he's still alive. He doesn't get them often at all. Maybe like once or twice a year, but he doesn't drive just to be on the safe side. Plus it's better for the environment."

"Yeah," said Anne who was suddenly feeling guilty about the little teeny Honda she was currently sitting in.

"Which play are we going to see anyway?"

"Love's Labours Lost."

"Oh yeah. Never read that one."

"I have. It's pretty good. Very early comedy, so it's hardly his masterpiece."

"Cool."

"Now who's instigating the awkward pauses?"

Freedom laughed at this and then fell silent. Anne tried to remember the way to -----Park.

Several Hours Later in The Hole in the Wall Coffee House

"The guy who played the swain was great," said Freedom.

"I know. The Spanish guy was really good too."

"And Berowne."

"I liked the way it was staged. I thought it was very creative."

"Yeah."

"That whole mask thing irritates me, though. I mean, the women are all different heights with different color hair, and yet when they put on some teeny little mardi gras masks, suddenly they are unrecognizable to their true loves. Not only that, they are wearing the exact same clothes and hair-dos that they had been wearing before. They don't swap off anything but trinkets."

"It's just dramatic convention. It doesn't have to make any sense."

"I know, but stuff like that irritates me."

"You know, it's kind of hard to taste this cheesecake with a mouthful of seared flesh."

"Well, you shouldn't gulp it straight out of the pot."

"I know that. I've just got no patience."

"I've noticed."

In response, Freedom threw a piece of cheesecake crust, hitting Anne in the nose. They both laughed.

Bit #3

October

The Tao Kitchen (bloody good Chinese restaurant)

"GRAAAAVVVY," the large woman shouted slowly at Anne. "BRING ME SOME GRAVY"

Anne smiled blankly and repeated "Gravy, yes, gravy," in an appallingly fresh off the boat accent. She managed to keep from laughing until she made it back into the kitchen. "Jim," she said, "that woman is still asking for gravy."

The large black man behind the wok laughed. "What have you given her?"

"Duck sauce, sweet and sour sauce, soy sauce, crunchy crap, and egg drop in a little plastic sauce cup."

"You know you really are ruining any chance of getting a tip doing this sort of thing."

"Nah, that woman's a textbook stiffer."

"Here," said Jim, passing her a cup full of hot mustard, "try this. Oh, yeah, this order is done too." Jim indicated several plates heaped with meat and vegetables.

Anne stacked the plates on a tray and took them back to the restaurant. She hated working lunches.

Frank and Freedom Wentworth walked into the Tao Kitchen and waved to Anne. She waved back and continued to work. Frank asked the hostess for a seat in Anne's section. The hostess's pigeon English suddenly improved. "Oh, your Anne's friends," she said. "Well, she's got a few tables open, but she's rather busy, so she won't be able to talk much. Come on."

"Thanks," said Frank.

"Hey, guys," said Anne when she came to take their order.

"Anne, when do you get off work?" asked Freedom

"Four. You?"

"Actually, Frank and I are off," said Freedom.

"We've been shopping for Sophie's birthday," Frank explained.

"You didn't tell me tomorrow was Sophie's birthday." Anne said to Freedom.

"Well, I thought... Hey, that was cheap."

Frank laughed and said, "she knows us too well, Freedom."

"Gotta go," said Anne, "Oolong tea and water right?"

"She knows us way too well," Freedom said.

Elliot Corporation Headquarters (A.K.A. That Really Big Glass Building)

Walter Elliot sat in his office, staring at the computer screen. He bit his lip. This was going to be tricky. He expertly punched a few buttons. "Aha," he exclaimed. Victory was his.

Just then his father walked through the door.

"Hey, Dad," said Walter.

"Hello, Walter," John said. "Lode Runner again? How far are you this time?"

"Level six."

"Good to see your accomplishing so much."

Walter smiled brightly at his father and nodded. 'Yes,' his father thought, 'to you irony is sort of like iron isn't it?'

John sighed with a sort of affectionate and resigned frustration. It wasn't that the boy (as he persisted in thinking of his middle aged son) didn't mean well. He genuinely wanted to help with the company. What's more, he genuinely thought he was being helpful. Walter showed up everyday, right on time, with that same brightly stupid smile plastered on his face. In his own little world, he probably thought he ran the place, and the whole world would crumble should he be five minutes late to work.

John knew he would always wonder if he shouldn't have let the boy make his own way in the world. If maybe competition would knock a little sense into him. But John knew that his son, no matter how hard Walter might try, would never be much of an asset to anyone. He was just... easily distracted... by shiny objects.

'Poor Annie,' John thought. 'Girl never really deserved Walter.' He also guiltily acknowledged that he had been glad when she had married Walter. John had long gotten over the disappointment of having a half-wit child, and really did love the silly bugger. But well, with Annie in the gene pool, he hoped to have grandchildren who didn't take after their father. 'One out of three isn't bad... Yes it is, it's only 33.3333%... Still could be worse.'

"Dad," said Walter, jerking John out of his thoughts.

"Hmmm?"

"Mrs. Skiffins won't let me use knives."

"Good. You don't need to be playing with knives in an office."

"I only want to cut my food. She says she has to cut it for me. It doesn't seem quite right."

"What? A high ranking CEO like you cutting your own food. It's just not done."

"It isn't?"

"No, of course not."

"Oh. Well all right then."

John smiled a little to himself as he left. He'd have to remember to give Mrs. Skiffins a raise. Smart woman, Walter's babysitter... ahem... secretary.

"Happy birthday eve, Sophie," Anne said.

"Thanks. Come in. I suppose Freedom blabbed. Forty-two years tomorrow."

"Actually she didn't mention the whole age thing."

"Well, that was sweet of her, or maybe just absent minded of her. What's in the bag, your Rocky costume?"

"That, and this," Anne said pulling out a Bob Dylan T-shirt.

"Oh, thank you, thank you," Sophie said hugging her, "You really didn't have to do that, you know."

"I just was walking down to my car, when I saw it in the window of that deadhead shop down by the Kitchen and I just had to get it."

"Wouldn't it be awful if Frank did the same thing."

"Nah, I checked up on that."

"Ooh, Frank, Freedom, look what Anne got me," Sophie said, showing her present to them.

"Cool," said Frank

"Yeah, she called me this afternoon asking if I bought you a Bob Dylan T-shirt. It's really quite astonishing that the thing was in a store window and yet Frank and me never saw it. And we were right down there this afternoon too." Said Freedom.

"Serendipity," said Sophie

"Kismet," said Frank.

"Fate," said Freedom

"It's like... like a badly thought out plot device in a dumb sitcom," said Anne.

"You know, you always ruin these little moments of wonder that life throws us," Freedom said, laughing.

"It's true though."

"Yeah, come on, Rocky starts at 12:00 and we haven't even gotten our costumes on."

Anne and Freedom ran up the stairs and into Freedom's room. Anne pulled on an old black dress of Mary's that she had managed to convert into a maid's uniform. Freedom threw on a well spangled Columbia costume, complete with sparkly hat and heels. The girls used Halloween makeup to achieve that nice pancakey Rocky Horror Picture Show effect.

They dashed out the door at 11:55 and made it into the theater in the middle of the first song. Anne and Freedom were rather subdued at the beginning of Dammit Janet, but soon were screaming at the screen and dancing in the aisles.

Freedom looked over at Anne, her profile clear in the blue light from the screen. She moved with little rhythm and no grace, jumping to the left and stepping to the right. But she was not self conscious here in the dark theater. She sang loudly and slightly off key, and her little rather flat nose was squinched up when she grinned. Freedom felt decidedly funky, but within a few moments returned her attention to the screen and forgot about it.

Posted on Thursday, 13 July 2000

November

The door to the Elliots' huge house banged as it was forcefully swung open, and a harsh high-pitched voice screeched "DAAAADDEEEE". Anne cursed under her breath and crept quietly to her room. Anne prayed to Buddha, Jaweh, God, Athena, Odin, Rah, Ganeesha, Skiv, Thor, Quezecotal, Vishnu, and any other deity that was willing to listen for deliverance, patience, or temporary deafness.

Walter ran downstairs laughing stupidly. "Elizabeth," he shouted, hugging the tall woman that looked quite like him.

"It's Zabet, now."

"Zabet?"

"Adds exotic flare. Very important."

Walter nodded, pretending to understand. "Where are your bags?" he asked, looking at the teeny purse his daughter carried.

"In the cab outside."

"Oh," Walter turned to the stairwell and yelled "Girls, your sister is here. Come down. Help unload her luggage."

"Where's Vikram?"

"He's off today."

Mary hopped enthusiastically down the stairs. She was quite thrilled to see her much idolized model sister. Of course, enthusiasm was about the only emotion in her entire repertoire, but she never let that bring her down. It's doubtful she ever noticed.

Anne sat in her room, wondering if she'd get away with pretending not to here. Her sister began screeching for help. Anne yelled "Coming," and grudgingly clomped down the stairs.

It was a miracle of physics that that much luggage could possibly fit into one cab. Not only was the trunk stuffed to the brim, the entire backseat and most of the front was crammed with more luggage than was found in your average airport. And in the most garish colors that a factory was willing to put on the line.

Anne rolled her eyes and grabbed an enormous trunk. She couldn't quite reach her arms around it, and had to hold it pressed up against her face. Anne stumbled as she went to climb the last step. She and the luggage came bumping down the smooth granite steps, skidded across the rather steep driveway, and landed in the azalea bushes with a CRUUUMMMFFFF.

Elizabeth (or Zabet) came running as best she could with a look of deep concern and anguish on her face. "Noooo," she shouted. "MY SHOES."

"Your... Shoes," Anne gasped nastily. "Your shoes."

"Yes."

"Those are all your shoes?"

"No. Of course not. What sort of sick twisted creature do you think I am? Those are just my sandals. I've got three more trunks for the rest of them. Now, be careful with them when you go up the steps." Elizabeth admonished, while she herself was in the process of transporting a bag roughly the size of a drink coaster.

"Are you all right?" the cab driver asked Anne as he helped her up.

"A little banged up, but not much."

Mr. Chance, the part time gardener whom everyone had forgotten, walked over to the bushes and carefully inspected them. He shook his head and tsk tsked the universe at large for having allowed this to happen. Fortunately, the bushes were not badly damaged, and he went off to find a hand truck for the luggage. Anne felt that a forklift would be more appropriate.

The cab was eventually freed of luggage primarily through the efforts of Anne, Mr. Chance, and Bill, the cab driver. The extent of Walter's physical activity was telling people that they weren't lifting correctly and jamming a large wad of bills in Bill's hand. Mary chipped a nail carrying her second piece of luggage and had to rush off to her room to repair the damage. Elizabeth just lolled on the sofa drinking bottled water.

High school cafeteria

"Three more trunks? Of shoes?" Freedom asked incredulously.

"Yes. She didn't even take a plane, because of the luggage limitations."

Freedom swore and laughed.

"That's not all. She insists that her name is now Zabet. What sort of name is that? Sounds like something you'd order at a Gelato parlor. I'll have two scoops of Zabet in a cup."

Freedom laughed harder. "I pity you. As if the scarily cheerful pompom wielding team spirit poster girl wasn't bad enough."

"Please tell me you can do something this Friday night. I'm off work at six, and if I have to stay in that house all evening, I'll go absolutely bonkers."

"Uh... I don't get off work until 9. Speaking of work, why does your dad always flinch when ever anyone mentions your job?"

"He thinks it's terribly degrading and stuff like that, working F and B. When I started talking about applying for a job he just about flipped. Swore he'd never let me debut if I did something so vulgar."

"Wait, let me guess, you picked up every job application you could find."

"Bingo."

"I always hated that song."

"What song?"

"Bingo. What sort of lesson is it to kids if they start leaving out letters all over the place and it still makes the original word. I'm convinced it's the root of my spelling problem."

Anne laughed and said, "Yes, Freedom, it's all a plot. The kindergarten teachers are all out to get you."

"I'm serious, man... er woman."

"Uhhuh."

Frank Wentworth walked into the den to find Anne and Freedom sprawled out on the floor watching a movie on their tiny set. "Hey guys," he said, "whatcha watching?"

"Dr. Strangelove." Freedom said.

"All right. You mind if I watch?"

"'course not." Said Anne.

"Thanks." Said Frank, sitting on the floor.

Freedom pulled on a coat and walked Anne to her car. "Um..." she said.

Anne's teeth chattered noisily.

"Cold?" asked Freedom.

"Just a little." Anne said grinning.

"So, you working tomorrow afternoon or night?"

"Afternoon again. Lunch tips tend to be bad."

"Oh. I don't have to worry about that."

"What shift are you working at the Organic Grocery Store?"

"Morning."

"Oooh, fun."

"I know."

"Well... I guess I'll see you around," Anne said, giving Freedom a shy, chattery sort of grin.

"Bye," Freedom muttered, staring at her feet. She could feel her ears turning bright red, and hoped that Anne couldn't see them. As Anne opened her car door and began to climb in, Freedom said "Anne."

"What?" Anne asked, turning to her friend.

"I ... I forgot what I was going to say."

"Oh."

"Anne, thanks for coming over."

"It wasn't exactly a chore. After all, I was the one who begged for sanctuary."

"I know... but... I... I had fun."

"I did too."

Freedom grinned and looked down again. "The movie was good. I think you really impressed Frank by picking it out."

"I really impressed Frank by knowing the Mr. Turtell joke. He's not a hard sell."

"Well, you impressed me too."

"Thanks," It was Anne's turn to look down and blush a bit.

"Wow you're really shivering."

"I noticed..."

"Well, I guess you better get in your nice heated car."

"Did I hear a note of resentment from the cyclist?"

"I love my bike. But you're really shivering. You better get going."

"Bye then."

"Anne?"

"What?"

"Never mind."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Freedom watched the small Honda drive off. That was weird. She felt weird. She would have thought that by now, there wouldn't be any awkwardness. And most of the time there wasn't. But now there was. And her ears were still burning. Damn she hated that.

Posted on Tuesday, 25 July 2000

And for anyone who wasn't raised by hippies with an awesome record collection, Hejira is an absolutely sublime album from Joni Mitchell, and Blood on the Tracks, Desire, and Highway 61 Revisited are all Bob Dylan albums

December

Cafeteria

"Well, don't you look cheerful," said Freedom, as Anne schlumped to the table.

"F---- you."

"Oooh, is it that time of the month again?"

"No."

"Are you going to tell me what's got you so P.O.ed or are you just gonna sit there glaring at the table."

"I'm not glaring at the table."

"Touchy."

After a rather long pause, in which Freedom managed to get quite offended, Anne said, "I'm going to Europe."

"What?" said Freedom.

"I'm going to Europe."

"Okay."

"No, I mean it. They won't let me off 'cause of my job or anything. I have to go to Europe with my sisters and dad."

"You're going to Europe. What the f---- are you whining about?"

"Have you met my family?"

"So what. So they're a little dull. You're going to Europe dammit."

"A little dull? A little dull?"

"Okay, so maybe I understated. You live with them, you must be able to deal by now. You're still going to Europe."

"Exactly."

"What?"

"I'm going to Europe."

"So you've said over and over. Big deal."

"No. I'm going to Europe. Just me and my immediate family. No work. No school. No friends to go visit. Just me and my daddy and siblings. And I know my dad. He won't let me spend any time on my own. We'll be together constantly."

"The Louvre, the Coliseum, the Acropolis..."

"No. I've been to Europe before. It's not all that fun. Not with my dear family. They would never condescend to act like vulgar tourists. Which is what they are. No, every day will be spent preparing for and attending parties, lunches, and dinners with a bunch of inbred twits whose only real claim to fame is that their great great great great great grandfather was a big murdering b-----d. Not only that, but they always yell very slowly in my face, and then compliment me on my English. I mean, I can't possibly be the only Asian they've ever met. I'm not even pure."

"You're being a whiny rich brat, you know. I mean, 95 % of the people in this cafeteria have never even left the country, and your b----ing about going to Europe. This trip hardly counts as child abuse."

"Yeah, I know. I'll shut up. Forgive me for being a whiny rich b----? Hey, that rhymed-- Shutting up now. " Anne grinned apologetically, and Freedom grudgingly forgave her.

"Are you sure?" Sophie asked Frank.

"Almost positive."

"Shouldn't we tell them?"

"No."

"But..."

"They need to figure this out for themselves. You know that."

"But they are taking so long."

"Things are harder for them than they were for us."

"I don't see a difference."

"The rest of the universe does."

Anne stared out of the hotel window and gave an exasperated sigh that was really much more of a huff than a sigh. She missed Vikram, and the stupid debate society, and Frank and Sophie and mostly Freedom. She and Freedom had been fighting ever since Anne told her about the trip. Anne had ceased to be mad about it, and now the thought of her friend conjured up only embarrassment and frustration.

"Anne," squealed Mary, "I can't find my lipstick. I can't find my lipstick."

"What do you expect me to do about it?" Anne asked with calm detached irony.

This was apparently too complicated for Mary. She paused for a moment, and then continued to bemoan her lost lipstick until finding it in her pocket.

Anne rolled her eyes. She was just so sick of being stuck in a hotel with these people. Sick. Why hadn't she thought of that before?

Anne walked over to her father's door, arranging her face into a look of resigned pain. She knocked and Elizabeth opened the door.

"Anne," Elizabeth said, holding up two hideously ugly dresses. "Which one?"

Anne pointed at one, without really caring.

"Really?" asked Elizabeth, "Daddy says the other one. I'll go ask Mary."

Anne entered the room, and found illness a lot easier to fake. Her father sat at a huge lighted mirror preening. On the dresser in front of him lay more wrinkle creams than most people have seen in their entire lives.

Anne gave a small groan and said "Dad, I don't feel to goo--". She dashed quickly into her fathers bathroom. Anne kneeled in front of the toilet, making very impressive retching noises. She then flushed the toilet and thoroughly washed her mouth out at the sink.

"You know, I think you may have come down with something," her father said.

'How astute of you,' Anne thought to herself. What she said was, "Dad, the Wossingtons--"

"Oh, dear, I nearly forgot all about the Wossingtons. I'm terribly sorry, child, but we cannot have you throwing up on Mrs. Wossington. She's the daughter of a duke, you know. Now if we were going to see those horrible Kents you could throw up on all of them. But I'm afraid you simply cannot go with us to the Wossingtons."

Anne assumed a look of despair and replied, "Well, if you think it's best..."

"I know it's best. You just stay in your room, and call room service if you get hungry. I'll go tell your sisters the bad news."

Anne rolled her eyes behind her father's back. Really, her caliber of acting was wasted on him. She reached into her father's wallet, which was lying on the bed, and liberated a few bank notes. It wasn't stealing, it was a performance fee. Speaking, or rather thinking, about performances, Anne wondered if she could get tickets to anything in the West End.

Freedom looked up at the record player, and realized it had been off for quite some time. She put Blood on the Tracks back in its cover and hunted through her parent's record collection for something else to play. Hmm, she had listened to Hejira, Desire, Highway 61 Revisited, and of course Blood on the Tracks. She stuck her finger into the collection and pulled out Marshall Crenshaw. Well, a little upbeat music couldn't hurt, could it?

She sat listening to the album. When the eight song started, Freedom grinned. Then she giggled. Then she laughed. Holy Catfish Batman, she had found Anne's theme song.

"Bye, Anne," said Mary, "Dad says we'll be back around four to start preparing for the dinner party.

Anne got out of bed and looked at her watch. It was twelve p.m. That gave her about four and a half hours in London. Just in case, she shoved some pillows under her sheets and waited ten minutes before leaving the hotel.

Anne walked out onto the streets of London, feeling about as happy as anyone could feel on such a cold slushy day. She bought some curry in a small restaurant a few streets down from the hotel. She got a map of London in a pharmacy nearby. She took a bus to Abbey Road, and another to Big Ben, and Windsor Castle, and all those lovely touristy places. Anne even spent a while harassing a beef eater with vegetarian propaganda. She could almost swear he cracked a smile.

Anne glanced down at her watch and saw it was 3:50. She caught a cab back to the hotel, raced up the stairs, and arrived, out of breath, at their four bedroom suite. Anne searched her pockets, and then realized that she had forgotten her key. "Shit," she hissed, and then stopped dead still when she heard familiar voices inside.

"Please don't check my room," she prayed silently. "Please, please, please don't check my room."

Suddenly the door swung open and Mary stepped into the hallway. Anne threw herself against the wall, and hid behind the open door. She pulled her hood over her face as a precaution. Mary walked down to the elevator and pushed the down button. The door swung back, and half closed. Anne peered through the crack in the door frame and the door. She could see her father and her sister retreating to their respective rooms. Anne opened the door silently, hung her coat and scarf on the rack, and crept as quietly as she could towards her room.

She thought she heard a door open when half way across the main room. She made a mad dash for it, knocking over a small table in the process. She closed her door, jumped into her bed, and pulled the covers over her.

"Anne, was that you?" Elizabeth shrieked.

"What?" she shouted back.

"The big thump."

"No. But it woke me up."

Elizabeth opened Anne's door to find her sister in bed. Anne affected a cough, reaching out of the blankets to cover her mouth. "Anne?" asked Elizabeth.

"What?"

"Why are you wearing gloves."

Anne looked down, and was horrified to realize she had forgotten to take off her gloves. "I...er...um..." she stammered "My hands got cold."

"Oh."

Anne thanked the universe for giving her stupid siblings.

Posted on Friday, 11 August 2000

January

Freedom sat down at the lunch table and pulled out her sandwich. She began chomping, just a bit angrily although it was difficult to say why.

Thud. A small cardboard box landed on the table by her head.

"Anne," Freedom exclaimed, unsuccessfully attempting to hide her irrational happiness.

"Hey," Anne said as she sat down.

"What's the big idea, lobbing a box at my head?"

"Hee hee, you said lobbing."

"I'm aware of that."

"Open it."

"What?"

"My cranium. The box, what do you think?"

Freedom stuck her tongue out at Anne and opened it.

"Aaaagh, the Beatles," she said laughing happily at the scads of Beatles pins.

Anne laughed along, just happy because.

"Where'd you get these?" Freedom asked, smiling widely.

"Abbey Road."

"Wh--"

"Long story."

"Do tell."

By the time Anne had finished telling her story, the not so dynamic duo had attracted rather a lot of attention. When seriously amused, Freedom's laughter was really quite astonishing. The shear sonic power of a Wentworth guffaw was unparalleled. It started with Freedom's face turning red, her whole body shaking, and a chee cheee cheee and gradually creshendoed into an earsplitting whaahaaahaaa before returning to another cheee cheee cheee.

Anne felt strangely proud of herself. Her own laughter was droned out by Freedom, as was the conversations of everybody near them.

Freedom finally managed to regain some semblance of composure when the bell rang. "Almost forgot," she said between residual sniggles. She slid a tape across the table to Anne.

"What's this?"

"A tape. Gotta go."

Anne rolled her eyes and went to class.

Anne climbed in her car and popped in the tape. A moment passed, and then she giggled, a little embarrassed. Cynical girl poured out of her speakers.

The phone rang. Freedom picked it up and said "Hello."

"You f---!"

Freedom laughed and said "Anne?"

"You f---," Anne laughed.

"So you've said."

"Aaagh. I'm not that bad."

"Uuuh..."

"You suck."

"Sucks to your asmar."

Anne laughed and shrieked, "It's the Beastie," in a bad British accent.

Freedom grinned. She knew Anne was doing the same on the other line. "What are you doing tonight?" she asked.

"Work and school stuff. Do you have to work Friday?"

"I'm off at seven."

"Cool."

"You got something planned?"

"Nah."

"In that case, I think there's a Danish flick at the art house."

"I'm in."

Anne and Freedom quite literally spilled out of the art house.

"Ooof," Freedom said.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, you?"

"Uhuh."

Freedom stood up and pulled Anne up. "Deja vu," she muttered to herself, and then added, "only backwards. Vu deja?"

"What?" Anne asked.

"Nothing."

"It's nice to know your still graceful." Anne said.

"Your one to talk."

Anne laughed and pulled her arm around Freedom chummily. Freedom smiled, blushed and put her arm around Anne's shoulders and walked towards her car.

"Anne?"

"What?"

"You got that tape in your car?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I dunno. Wanted to hear it."

Anne smirked and opened the car door.

Anne and Freedom climbed out of the car in front of the Wentworth's house.

"I'm going out looking for a cynical girl, who's got no use for the real world, I'm looking for a cynical girl..." Freedom sang.

Anne was a little flattered, quite embarrassed, and a little angry.

"Whose got no use for the real world..." Freedom continued.

"Stop it."

"I'm looking for a cynical girl." Freedom sang, reaching out and tossling Anne's hair.

Anne looked at Freedom. Freedom looked at Anne. For what seemed like a long time.

"Let's go inside," Anne said.

Freedom mutely followed her inside.

Posted on Friday, 25 August 2000

February

BBBBRRRRRRRAAAAZZZZZZZZ

Anne stuck her hand out of the covers and fumbled for the snooze button. It wasn't there. Neither was her alarm clock. Neither was her desk.

Anne opened her eyes blearily, and then remembered where she was. The bed creaked a little as Freedom sat up and then unceremoniously yanked the alarm clock out of the wall.

"Set for school," she muttered.

"Mmmfrm," Anne eloquently replied before rolling on her side and going back to sleep. Freedom quickly followed her lead.

Anne and Freedom stumbled down stairs around twelve. Freedom grinned at Anne's really amazing cowlicks and played with them. Anne just yawned and smiled sleepily.

Freedom picked up a piece of paper in the den. "Hi, guys," she read aloud "finally woke up, huh? You didn't expect us to stick around all day waiting on the you. Frank and I are going to lunch and to run some errands. We'll probably be horribly lost by the time you get this. Still, it's a shrilling avenshure..." Freedom trailed off, turned rather pink, and wadded up the note.

"What?" Anne asked.

"Nothing."

Anne was still a bit too groggy to pursue the matter further. Instead, she stood on her toes and kissed Freedom.

Freedom's stomach growled, and a perfectly good mushy moment was interrupted by giggles.

"Let's go raid the pantry," Freedom said, and then added "a girl cannot live by Anne alone."

She was rewarded with a mock-indignant slap on her arm.

May

Gertrude Russell looked up as the front door to her house slammed shut. "Holla," said a very familiar voice.

"Anne," Gertrude said as she got up to greet her friend. "Haven't seen you much lately."

"School, work, you know the drill."

"So, what's up?"

"It must come down."

"Oooh, you're in one of those moods."

"Lighten up a little Gertrude. I'm not on your couch."

"Why do you resent my job?"

"I don't. I just wish you'd stop analyzing me."

"I'm not analyzing."

"Whatever."

"You're avoiding something."

"There you go again."

"I think you might need the couch."

"I'm not that nuts... Okay, even I don't believe that."

Anne looked down at her fingers for a while and then announced, "I've got a new girlfriend."

"Well, it's always nice to make new friends."

"No. I mean, a girlfriend."

"What?"

"I am dating another girl." Anne said, extremely frustrated.

Gertrude was silent for a long time. She finally said, "Honey, no matter what, I love you. You know that, right?"

Anne nodded.

"But I think I need a beer for this one," Gertrude finished. "You want something from the fridge?"

"Just water."

"Okay."

Gertrude returned with her beer and Anne's water and they both sat down. Gertrude took several long swigs of beer, and then said, "You'd better start at the beginning."

"Well, there was this big bang."

"This is serious."

Anne nodded and sipped reflectively on her water. "Okay, you know I've been going out a lot with Freedom..." Anne began, ignoring the look on Gertrude's face. Gertrude had never much liked that hippie kid, and she definitely didn't like thinking that that hippie kid had been doing things with her Anne.

"Look," Gertrude said at last. "I may not be so thrilled with your choice here, but I understand your wanting to tell people. You feel dishonest about denying what you feel is part of your identity. But, you're very, very young to be making decisions like this. Maybe this is just a phase, and you'd have a hell of a time explaining how you were gay, but now your straight. Even if your right, and this is the way you are, you've got four years of very expensive college to go through, and the people that are paying for it would not be so thrilled. Might go so far as cutting you off without a red cent."

"So, what, I should just date guys?"

"I never said that. I just said, it might be better if you just kept this your little secret for the time being. You've done it for several months now, can't be that hard."

"Yes it is." Anne said quietly.

"Anyway, your going away to Brynn Mawr in four months. That place is going to have a fair share of lesbians in similar predicaments. You can be open about it up in Pennsylvania. Just don't tell your relatives."

"But Freedom..."

"Look, I know you like her a lot, so I'm not going to criticize her. But either she accepts this as necessary, or she doesn't. Anyway, again, you'll be going away to college, and she'll be going away to college. So this is hardly going to be a long term relationship."

"But I want it to be."

"She's the only other gay girl you know. Don't you think you should broaden your horizons a little?"

Anne looked down and didn't answer.

"Hey," Gertrude said gently, "don't take it so hard. This isn't the end of the world. You'll only really have a few more months in the closet. Except for when you come home for breaks. It's not lying, it's just... selective informing."

Posted on Sunday, 22 October 2000

Anne shut the door to Gertrude's house quietly behind her. She looked at her car and then just left it there, and began walking back to her own driveway. She felt horribly numb and empty. Gertrude was right of course, even if Anne didn't want her to be. Anne just felt like curling up into a fetal position. She just wanted to wake up. To roll over and tell Freedom about what a horrible, silly dream she had.

Freedom put down the phone. Where was Anne? She said she'd be off work today.

Anne looked up at her large house from her driveway. 'No' she thought to herself. She turned and walked away from the house.

Freedom got up to go answer the door, rather annoyed to be interrupted. She peered through the peep hole and grinned. She opened the door and yelled "We don't want any."

Anne raised her head an looked Freedom in the eyes. Freedom stopped smiling.

"We need to talk," Anne said quietly.

"What are we-" Freedom stopped herself in mid-smart mouthed remark. "Do you want to come inside?" she asked.

"No."

Freedom decided not to question this. Instead she walked outside of the house, closing the door behind her. They both began walking.

"Where are we going?" Freedom asked.

Anne shrugged and kept walking. Just when Freedom had completely given up hope for any sort of rational explanation, Anne said, "I can't do it. Not now."

"Do what?"

"Come out."

"What?"

"I can't. Not until I finish college. My-"

"You can't." Freedom snarled.

"Don't be like that. I do have to get through four very expensive years of college on the money of my not-so-liberal relatives."

"Well, it's so nice to know that your such a strong supporter of the cause. I mean, not many people would stick their neck out really stick their neck out like you are."

"The cause. Freedom, this is my life, not a cause."

"Yeah. So your perfectly content to sit back and live a lie, so long as it doesn't ------ inconvenience you. Why be honest about yourself when you've got ----- relatives with their ----- money to think about."

"Freedom."

"Oh, what the ----. Why not just start voting republican to please them. Or better yet, marry some ----- brain-dead elitist ------. That would ----- please them. My hero."

"I'm not here to be your ----- hero. I'm not here to fight a ----- ideological battle with the ----- rightist -----."

"Damn right your not. Your just gonna let yourself be ----- cowed by those ----- ---- -----. I can't ------ believe this."

"Oh, and I suppose your being so brave."

"I'm out."

"Yeah, you're out. And what a tough time you had telling your family. I mean, they really ------ well flipped on you. All those congratulations, and offers to throw coming out parties. You've had it so ------ difficult."

"You know that the kids at school-"

"---- the kids at school. Who gives a ---- about the ------- kids at school?"

"Obviously you do since-"

"If I ---- did, I wouldn't be in this ------ situation."

"I thought you were going to tell, what the ----- happened?"

"I got a little ----- sense knocked into me. That's what. Something you could obviously use."

"That ----- woman. That ----- castrated you."

"I don't think castration is-"

"I should have know. You're ------ spineless when it comes to that stupid -----."

"That stupid ----- sure seems to care about my future and my life. Unlike some people."

"-----"

"You know what Freedom? ---- you, if you can't behave like a ------- rational human being for two minutes. ---- this." Anne walked off, hoping Freedom didn't notice the tears running down her face.

Freedom ran into her room and slammed the door. Anne would come around, and if she didn't, screw her. Who needed someone that spineless around? She ignored that nagging little piece of her brain that said 'you'.

Posted on Saturday, 11 November 2000

Author's Note: All right, I know I have no business doing this, but it is what old Janey calls for after all. We're going to have to time warp it ahead about ten years or so. If everyone would please jump to the left. Hey, you. Yeah, you. I said jump to the left. Well, do it. Now step to the right. Keep your hands on your hips, and pull your knees in tight...

Anne Elliot kicked the door to her apartment open, retrieved her keys from the door, and set the groceries down on the kitchen table. The answering machine was beeping. She pushed the play button and started to put up the groceries.

"Anne...Um hi... It's Sharon from the other night. Um...call me. 553-6789."

Beep.

"Hey, it's Gertrude. I know it's been a while since you've talked with your family and all, because well... But, they're in trouble, and to self absorbed to hold much of a grudge about sexuality. Especially not now that it's become rather trendy. I need you to help me, to help them. Call me."

Beep.

"Anne, Anne? Are you screening? I can't believe it. Here I am sickly and my own sister screens my phone call. This is just the sort of thing I expected. Anne. Pick up this phone right now. Do you hear me? Pick it up. Charles! Charles! Charles, put the dog down and listen to me here. Anne is screening me. I refuse to just talk to some machine. Who does she think she is. She treats her own sister like she was totally insignificant. Charles listen to me while I'm talking to you.... Listen, don't interrupt-"

Beep

Anne laughed and finished putting up the groceries. Then she picked up the phone. Better get Gertrude over with first. Who knows how long Susan could take. She wasn't even going to think about Mary's phone call. She dialed Gertrude's number and waited.

"Hello," said Gertrude.

"Hey, it's Anne."

"I can recognize your voice, you know."

"I know, it's just a habit."

"So..."

"So what's up with my 'family'? And why should I care?"

"That was just mean-spirited and uncalled for."

"It was very called for. Do you remember my coming-out day?"

"Okay, point taken. But they didn't make all that much fuss, except for your grandfather. And five or six years of dealing only with your dad and sisters has made him change his mind about the whole gay thing. Still not proud of it, but less inclined to throw heavy objects. "

"That was the worst part. How the rest of them just didn't listen."

"Anne..."

"Grandad I could respect. Grandad cared. He may have broken some very nice vases the world won't see again, but he cared. But they just didn't even listen. The closest I could get to acceptance was when Mary said 'Eeeww' and then went back to applying makeup."

"The other two..."

"Refused to listen."

"Listen Anne. They're in debt. A lot. They've been relying on the eventual inheritance, but I think they may have spent past that. And it looks like your grandfather is considering leaving a lot of the money to charity."

"And the problem would be..."

"They're not worth holding a grudge against. I think with your help I could convince them to cut back enough to stay out of debt. First I'd need to get a really good look at their financial records. I've been talking to their poor accountant, John Shepherd. Nice guy. I think with a lot of cuts and a little creative accounting we could get them out of debt."

"Sure, fine."

"You're enthusiastic."

"I'll do it. Let's just get it over with."

"Okay, once I make sure I've got all the specifics from Shepherd, we can start planning our attack."

"Attack? Napoleon, what exactly are we doing here? Helping out some relatives or invading Russia?"

"You don't think it will be easy to get them to cut back, do you? It's going to be quite the battle."

"Well call me Joan."

"What?"

"Never mind."

"Anne, I've got a beep. You want to hold."

"Nah, I've got other calls to make, bye."

"Bye."

Anne replayed her answering machine messages. 555-6789. Well, hopefully Susan would be a bit better than that mess. Oy, how on earth would they get Walter and Elizabeth to give up their ridiculous ostentations. 'Hercules has got nothing on me.' She thought to her self. 'Hydra nothing.'

"Hey Sharon." she said.

"Anne?" Sharon asked.

"Yep."

"Hey. I'm glad you called..."

'I am too.' Anne thought to herself.

Posted on Sunday, 26 November 2000

Freedom Wentworth wandered into the coffee house at about noon carrying a newspaper and wearing a half-stunned(or stoned) look along with very rumpled looking clothing. Darren looked up from the sandwich he was making and smiled to himself. 'She's up early' he thought.

He was understandably a little envious. Not many grownups get to wake up at one or two in the afternoon and stumble out in search of a caffeine fix. She seemed to be a nice woman, although Darren was given to think kindly of anyone who didn't complain and tipped well.

Carolyn, the only employee ever brave enough to ask Ms. Wentworth anything said that Ms. Wentworth had a patent on some boat thing. She seemed to do a lot of stuff for NOW and Greenpeace and stuff, although presumably not before noon.

Darren finished off the sandwich order and poured some very strong coffee into a mug. Making sure no one saw him, he tactfully slipped a few ice cubes in it. There was nothing worse than watching a grown woman burn herself on her coffee almost every day. Would it kill her to learn how to wait on the coffee to cool down?

Frank Wentworth wandered over to a newsstand. He had a theory that he could determine, at least for himself, the level of randomness or lack thereof in the universe. He shut his eyes and picked up a magazine. He opened them and saw that it was Cat Fancy. He dropped it. The magazine didn't open. He let it open at random. There was an advertisement for flea collars.

Frank put it back and selected another magazine. This time it was Cosmo. The article was about hair.

Again he replaced the magazine and reselected. This time he looked at the cover, blushed and stuck it back on the shelf without opening it.

By this time, Frank's actions had attracted the attention of Mrs. Alma, the stall owner. She watched in bemusement (which is like amazement, only without so much amazement).

After several more trials, she suggested that he buy some papers or magazines and continue whatever he was doing in the comfort of his own home. Frank randomly selected twelve newspapers and bought them. He was not going to put a news seller out of a job.

When Sophie got home from work she found Frank excitedly rushing to meet her, which is quite an interesting sight. He was clutching a piece of newspaper which he shoved under her nose and waved about a bit.

"What are you doing?" Sophie asked.

"Look at the paper."

"What?"

"This," Frank said pointing to a column. It was, judging by the title, an uncomplimentary review of something. Sophie took the paper and began skimming through the article.

"It's a bad play. Off Broadway. So?" She said.

"Look at the author."

"Ron Nefflemore."

"No, the author of the article."

"Anne Elliot.... Anne Elliot. Our Anne Elliot?"

"What are the odds that there are two Anne Elliots in the world who could take up that much paper complaining about a play?"

"Good point. How did you find this?"

"Remember last night I was telling you about that new theory I had. Experiment really."

"Yeah."

"Well, I was testing it out with about ten or twelve randomly-selected newspapers and I found this."

"What, the first time?"

"No, it took about four or five hours of skimming papers before I found it."

"Oh. What does that mean?"

"I don't know, that's the trouble. Either some god or goddess or group of gods, goddesses, or both or some other being or collection of beings wanted me to find this, or it's a random fluke of the universe. Either way, I think we should use it.

"Use it?"

"Well, yeah. You know. Family bonding time, incidentally located in New York."

"What happened to non-interference."

"Like eight years or something."

"Ten I think."

"Whatever, my point is it's been a long time. And if they can't sort this out, we need to."

Sophie kissed him.

Posted on Saturday, 30 December 2000

"One car. Just one? What a disgrace to the Elliot name. Why not just get rid of them all together?" Elizabeth exclaimed.

"Okay, done." Anne said and gave her sister a really wide smile.

"You can't... uuh," Elizabeth whined.

"Then let's keep it to one car, shall we?" Gertrude said, in the sort of voice that certain people use on small children, certain people that really aren't any good with small children, but think they are, "now, onto travel."

"What about travel?" Walter asked, looking remarkably like a small mammal that suddenly found its trip along the asphalt interrupted by an oncoming winnebago with its brights on.

"You can't do it." Anne snapped. She was feeling very vindictive.

"But, we have to go to..."

"You seriously need to cut down on your traveling expenses. It's a major drain on your resources. If you have to travel, you should seriously cut down on your excessive spending. Don't buy all the merchandise in an area. Drive instead of flying. Don't go very far. Stay in less expensive hotels. Stay put and don't vacation." Gertrude said, as calmly as she could.

"Rent the houses." Anne said helpfully.

"Oh, yeah. We've been over the books. You have three houses. All of them far too large for you to be able to live cheaply in. Never mind support three houses. You need to rent them out. Mr. Shepherd's already trying to line up a few potential clients through a friend of his."

"Rent the houses? Why not just sell them and move to a bungalow." Walter whined.

"Can't say we haven't thought of it." Anne said. "Make more money renting them out."

"We couldn't possibly rent our houses we need them."

"You could always declare bankruptcy." Anne said.

Gertrude, Walter and Elizabeth all stated, or shrieked, their disapproval of the idea. The horror at this seemingly helpful and sensible suggestion made Anne feel, well, POed, but in a warm and tingly kind of way.

After a great deal of grief and effort on the part of Gertrude, the Non-Anne Elliots had the brilliant, and totally original idea that it would be best to let their houses. Of course, what ensued was a huge debate over where to move. The Elliots could, of course, never live in a neighborhood where it was widely known that they were forced to let all of their houses. They could certainly never suffer the indignity of coming into contact with a tennant.

At first, Walter and Elizabeth wanted to move to New York at first, much to Anne's dismay. Fortunately, compassion for Anne and the extremely high cost of living in New York caused Gertrude to argue them out of that. The question of location was still a major problem. Gertrude had gotten them to settle on Nassau, but Anne knew that her parent and sibling would change this destination at least six or seven times before they finally decided on something. She didn't want to tell Gertrude that though, Gertrude was so pleased to have gotten the whole thing settled.

Besides, Gertrude was her ride back home, and it's not so fun to spend two hours in a car with an angry psychologist.

Shizuko Mori smiled indulgently at the two little hellions that were chasing each other around her kitchen. She was, after all, a grandmother and was allowed to do that sort of thing. Her son, Charles, who had no such privileges to indulgent blindness, chased after them, trying to keep them from killing each other or breaking anything expensive (and that did include their body parts).

Shizuko opened the cookie jar and offered them to the little boys, who accepted with alacrity. Charles instantly opened the cabinet and picked out two small glasses and filled them with grape juice and set them on the table. Shizuko smiled at him and asked how his wife was, with only a very slight sign of disapproval.

"Mary is fine. She's a bit under the weather lately..." Charles said, not needing to add anything more. The girl who had used extreme enthusiasm, yelling a lot, and short skirts for attention had grown up and found that after a certain point, enthusiasm and cheer got her no attention. So, she became a bit of a hypochondriac instead.

"How is Anne? Did she get my invitation?"

"What invitation?"

"Mary said she'd invite her sister over for Christmas. I don't think the poor dear is too pleased about the thought of going to see her own family."

"Mary?"

"Anne."

Charles nodded. He could never fathom how his rather traditional mother managed to become so fond of his sister in law. Not that Anne was unlikeable. Charles was quite fond of her himself, but... well she was gay. Charles was almost certain his mother knew that... and she had to know what that meant, didn't she? After all, they did make sitcoms about it.

He said, "Oh, yeah. I think Mary called her, but from what I heard she just wigged out after getting Anne's answering machine. I thought Mary just wanted one of her moaning sessions. I can't see how Anne can ever stand those. I'll have to ask her sometime."

"Well, dear, you wouldn't happen to have her number on you, would you? I'd better do the inviting...

"I don't have the number right here, but if you'll write down the specifics of the thing, I'll call her up. Haven't talked to Annie in a while, it will be nice to get a chance to catch up a bit."

Shizuko smiled and nodded. "Your sisters will be home from college soon too. Do you want me to buy their presents for you."

Charles grinned appreciatively and said "please. I'm not any good at it, am I?"

"You... try."

Posted on Sunday, 11 February 2001

Anne awoke to the sounds of blaring do wop and bad singing. She stumbled out of her bedroom and managed to shuffle into the kitchen. Sharon was singing some god awful chirpy song and fixing breakfast.

Sharon smiled and kissed her. "Hey," she said cheerfully. "I hope you don't mind, I started making breakfast. I didn't think you would ever get out of bed."

Anne's sinuses were throbbing from last night's red wine, and she really wasn't up to responding to this. "mmmfm." She managed and made a bee line for the coffee maker.

"I put some coffee on. It took me forever to find the grounds, but I didn't want to wake you. You looked so peaceful. Although you really have no business sleeping that late, you know," said Sharon.

Anne peered blearily at the clock on the coffee maker. It's red digits blinked 5:43. Anne hoped the coffee was strong, really strong. "Thanks for the coffee," she mumbled. It would be a while before she could manage actual anger, or even annoyance. "This is not good," Anne thought to herself, as Sharon pleasantly prattled on. This sort of bubbliness had seemed so much more attractive last night.

Later that day, Anne received a phone call from Charles Mori. Thinking back on Sharon's sincere promises to call her later, Anne quickly agreed to spend the holidays with Charles, Mary and the rest of the gang, if she could get it okayed by her employer. Anne then called the paper, and managed to work out a week's absence. Anne would go see a lot of plays while she was in New York, take extensive notes, and start drafting reviews. She would actually finalize the reviews while upstate, and e-mail them to her editor.

The transportation then had to be arranged. The Mori girls, Louisa and Henrietta, and Mary decided that they wanted to do some Christmas shopping down in NYC. Anne assured them that this was a truly stupid move, since New York was absolutely flooded with shoppers, and they paid absolutely no attention. So, they decided to pick Anne up while in New York and take her home with them.

Once everything was squared away Anne confidently picked up the telephone and dialed Sharon Henderson. Sharon picked up the phone and seemed genuinely glad to hear from her.

"Hey, Sharon." Anne said. "About next week..."

"What?"

"I won't be here. My sister and her family invited me up to see them for two weeks. They kind of sprang this on me last minute. But, you know their family, and I want to go see my nephews again..." Anne told a little lie there.

"It's great that you still get along with your family that well..."

"Not with all of it." Anne said.

"I know how that is. How old are your nephews?"

"One's four, and the other one's six."

"Oh, that's so cute. You like the little kids. I love kids."

Anne rolled her eyes. This conversation was getting out of control. "Well, I like them better when I don't have to clean up after them. I'm not planning on doing any breeding of my own anytime soon." Take that, nesting female.

"Oh." Sharon said, slightly disappointed.

"And this week I'm going to have to do a lot of work. I won't have time to go out," Anne continued, sounding very sincere. "I feel just awful doing this to you. I mean dating you a couple of times and then skipping town for weeks..."

"It's okay. I won't be in town the whole time either..."

Anne mentally cursed. "But it's kind of awful to skip town and expect you to just wait around for me for weeks. So, I..."

"Oh, that's sweet. I don't mind. It's only a couple of weeks, after all. And dating over the holidays is so hectic. Especially for a goy/jew like me. I've got both Christmas and Chanukah to contend with."

"Thanks, but if you want to see someone else, or at least try, I wouldn't hold it against you. I mean, we've only dated a few times anyway." Would it kill you to take a hint.

"Oh, nah. I don't think I'll take you up on that. I'll call you when you get back." Sharon said.

"Okay." Argh.

Anne hadn't realized she was expected to be part of the shopping trip until Mary, Louisa, and Henrietta showed up at her doorstep without any shopping bags. Anne helped them navigate the subway. Mary, Louisa, and Henrietta only seemed to be interested in shopping at the large chain stores. Anne pointed out that they could just as well have stayed near home and gone to any mall to visit the same stores, and was ignored. There was a certain pattern to Anne's interactions with the Moris.

They all then packed into the small car and somehow managed to drive out of New York City. The trip took a long time. Fortunately, Anne had brought a book. Henrietta, Louisa, and Mary seemed to be talking about some sort of visitors, but Anne didn't pay enough attention to know any more than that.

When they finally reached the house of Shizuko and Katsumi Mori, it was very late at night. Louisa and Henrietta insisted that Anne come inside and see their parents. Anne pointed out that it was very late at night, but Louisa said that this wouldn't matter because "there are still visitors here," indicating the stranger's shoes in the garage. Anne said that this was a good reason not to interrupt, but the girls ignored this and ushered Anne and her sister (now shoeless) inside.

Anne walked into the living room ahead of Mary and the rest. She found herself looking straight into the face of one former girlfriend that she never thought she'd see again. Of it's own accord, Anne's mouth began forming a very strong expletive. She got about halfway through before Henrietta clamped her hand over Anne's mouth. "mmf" she finished.

Freedom Wentworth herself was looking extraordinarily like a fish out of water. Frank and Sophie Wentworth, who no one was paying very much attention to, exchanged startled glances. They wouldn't have to pretend to be surprised. They really were, although they were also quite amused. The rest of the group was just extremely puzzled.

Anne looked around the room at the puzzled faces and blushed.

"What is it?" Mary asked bluntly.

"Oh... I just remembered something." Anne said.

Shizuko and Katsumi politely pretended that nothing had happened and began valiantly trying to make conversation. They made introductions all around. When it came Anne's turn Sophie said, politely nonchalant "We've met." This was the worst of all possible statements, as far as Anne and Freedom were concerned. The Moris began politely prying information about this acquaintance from the Wentworths, while Henrietta and Louisa listened and became more curious.

Posted on Sunday, 29 April 2001

Freedom Wentworth glanced furiously over to where Sophie was trying to engage Anne in conversation, with the occasional interference of Frank. How could she? She just swore. Well, of course, Anne had always cussed like a sailor, but it was a friendly kind of swearing. Not like Freedom was some kind of disaster. Of course, Freedom had been pretty shocked herself... How could they? Talk to Anne. Anne, who obviously wanted to get out of the house, and they were bullying the poor woman into conversation. Freedom was vaguely aware of someone staring at her. She looked back over at one of the interchangeable ditzes, who seemed to be awaiting some kind of reply. Then she remembered that she was supposed to be holding a conversation with Fraulein Airhead.

"Hmm... Oh, um, yeah." Freedom ventured, wondering what she had just agreed with.

"Oh, I'm so glad you've heard of his band. Not many people have. Poor Tom, to die of a drug overdose before he was ever famous. He can't even get a cult or anything. I've always really liked your stuff." Louisa said.

"My stuff?"

"Yeah, Ms. Stein. Is that your pen name? We had to read your poems in English class. At college, of course."

"I'm not Ms. Stein."

"But your parents said you were 'Gertrude Stein'".

"No, they said I was a bit Gertrude Stein. Gertrude Stein has been dead for a while. They just meant I'm gay."

"Gertrude Stein is gay?"

"How much attention did you pay in English class?"

"It never really was my best subject."

'I bet you excelled in Frat Parties 101, though' Freedom thought to herself.

"Where did your money come from, then?" Louisa asked.

"Huh?"

"Your money. You must have a lot to rent out the Elliot place."

"The Elliot place?" Freedom thought. She glanced again at Frank and Sophie. They were responsible. Maybe not for this meeting. There was no way they could have orchestrated that. But they were responsible.

"Well..."

"Well what?"

"Well where did your money come from?"

"Petty thieving. Massive amounts of petty theft."

"Oh."

Freedom caught Anne smirking out of the corner of her eye. She must have heard.

When Anne finally made it home that night, she was pretty sure she was going to be up for a while. She flopped down on the guest bed and sighed. She had cursed. Right in front of everyone, she had looked Freedom Wentworth in the eye and said ------. Oh boy, was it going to be a long stay.

Anne had always been aware that she felt some rather irrational nostalgia for her first romantic relationship. She knew it had never been anything to write romance novels about, but then Anne had never believed those things in the first place. It had been a somewhat an awkward rather immature relationship. There had been fights before the final one. There had been problems. There were some mannerisms that really ticked her off. Anne had had prettier girlfriends. Anne had had nicer girlfriends. Anne had had, believe it or not, stranger girlfriends (or at least girlfriend).

But... she kind of missed the way Freedom smelled... And tasted. It was one of those pheremonal things someone had tried to explain to Anne. And, all in all, Freedom had been good company. They hadn't always got along, but they usually did... and Freedom laughed her big horsy laugh at Anne's jokes. And Anne had laughed at Freedom's. Not out of any sense of obligation, or reciprocation. They just had similar senses of humor... which was surprisingly hard to find.

Hopefully, she wouldn't have to encounter the Wentworths again...

The next morning, Anne was awoken by a small, rather grubby finger pulling back her eyelids. She stayed still, hoping it would go away and leave her in peace. She heard some giggles that really should have warned her, and the next thing she knew, two pairs of bony knees were sailing into her body.

She shot up, to the glee of her small nephews. "Uummph." She said. "That really hurt. Don't do that."

The children completely ignored her and giggled proudly to themselves. "Wake up, Aunt Sillyhead." Katsumi shrieked, after putting his face right up into hers. "Yeah, wake up," chorused Charlie, shaking her shoulders.

"I am awake. You can see that. You're not stupid." Anne said.

"Well, get up." Charlie demanded.

"Fine. You two get out of here so I can get dressed. Go play with your parents." Anne said.

"You promise you won't go back to sleep?" Katsumi asked.

"Yeah, I promise." Anne said, crossing her fingers.

"Okay."

Once the dynamic duo had made their grand exit, Anne walked over to the door and locked it, and jumped back in bed. She only got a few minutes before the boys were banging on her door and demanding that she come out. Anne pulled a pillow over her head, but gave up after five or six minutes. She stood up, yelled "I'm coming.", stretched, and pulled on some clothes before opening the door. It was going to be a very long day.

Sophie and Frank woke up that morning with a quandary. Since the initial meeting had not exactly... ahem... brought back that lovin' feelin' woa woa woa, should they interfere further, or the random fluctuations of the universe to occur. They hadn't exactly planned the first meeting either.

Their question was answered when the Mori girls showed up at their house asking them around to lunch, at Shizuko and Katsumi's request. They agreed and Sophie went to go wake up Freedom. The universe was not operating in terribly mysterious ways today, in Frank's opinion.

Posted on Monday, 21 May 2001

Freedom trudged reluctantly through the snow to the Moris' house. There was way more snow here than had any right to exist in one place. Still, it was better than staying in blackout land... well, the indoors part was, certainly.

That one Mori girl was still talking. How did she manage to keep going like that? Her tongue must be able to lift barbells. What was her name? The other girl seemed to be pretty quiet. Her sister had probably always done more than enough talking for both girls. Anne was kind of like that too. Not like the talky girl, that is, sort of quiet to make up for her sisters' noise... Now where did that come from?

Freedom shot a rueful glance at her parents' backs as they chatted, oblivious to the aural pain that was being inflicted on their daughter. Why had she gone along with this anyway.

When the party arrived at the Moris' place, Freedom was surprised and a little disappointed to find Anne was not even present. She didn't even show after Freedom had stayed up all night practicing indifference. So when Shizuko suggested that they walk across the street and see her grandchildren, Freedom was far less adverse to the plan than her parents, or even she, had expected.

Anne was sitting at her laptop schlugging down yet another cup of coffee and typing up a review, when Katsumi smushed his face up against the window. The heavily caffinated critic looked up from her computer and, simultaneously, spilled her coffee. She was fortunate enough to avoid spilling it all over her keyboard, but not fortunate enough to avoid spilling it all over herself. She laughed a little, opened the door, and then ran to the bathroom to run cold water on herself.

Hearing the commotion, Kats and Charlie ran downstairs and launched themselves at their grandparents knees. The children were then presented to the Wentworths, who were suitably impressed by the clearly superior breed of grandchildren.

While the others were occupied by the boys antics, Freedom walked over and began surreptitiously reading the article. She grinned a little before catching herself and suppressing it. The review was good... really good, which didn't surprise Freedom. She had forgotten how much Anne had loved the theater, still did from the look of it.

Anne laughed into the sink while she ran her fingers under the cold water. Well, impressing her old girlfriend was pretty much out the window. But Anne had never really wanted to impress Freedom. No, she rethought that statement, she had never needed to impress Freedom. That had always been one of the nice things about her old girlfriend. Anne really had to stop thinking of Freedom as her old girlfriend. Of course, she was her old girlfriend, but maybe she shouldn't cling to that label for her... well, old girlfriend.

Anne self consciously looked in the mirror. Her hair was a mess and her clothes were scuzzy. She briefly ran her fingers through her hair, but then decided that this was a sign of weakness, and shook her hair out. She did, however, run to her room and change out of her coffee soaked shirt. Anne ran that under cold water and hung it up in the bathroom.

She then reentered the living room with a sheepish grin and mildly burned fingers. Frank and Sophie exchanged a glance as they thought "Same old, Anne."

Freedom was standing suspiciously close to her laptop. Not that a theatrical review was top secret information, but Anne was a little embarrassed to think that Freedom had been reading her computer screen. Of course, Louisa was still talking to her, so maybe she hadn't looked at it at all. How was she going to get back to her laptop with those two hanging around.

Henrietta, whom Anne had forgotten about, walked out of the kitchen with some damp paper towels and began cleaning up the few coffee spots on the rug, which Anne had also forgotten about. Freedom and Louisa moved out of her way, and Anne bent down to help Henrietta with the mess. Charlie, who felt that not enough people were paying attention to him, jumped on her back. Freedom, feeling guilty about not helping with the carpet, was all ready to pick the kid up off her, and maybe touch her, but Anne just stood up and let the kid fall off. Charlie whined a little, but soon occupied himself in chasing his brother around the house.

Posted on Sunday, 19 August 2001

"Anne, can I talk to you for a minute?" Henrietta asked from the kitchen.

"But of course," Anne said jokingly coming towards her. Anne's jocularity was rather squelched by Henrietta's seriousness, and she amended "What is it, kid?"

"I've been dating this guy Tom, you know."

"Not personally, but I think I've heard of him."

"Well, anyway, mom and dad aren't that crazy about him, but they like him okay. But Mary..."

"Is a freak?"

"Well... I wouldn't put it like that."

"But that's what you'd mean."

Henrietta didn't say anything.

"You don't have to be polite. I'm family, remember. Well, sort of family anyway. What's she done this time?"

"She's decided that he's not good enough for the family or something like that. She keeps trying to keep me away from him and to convince my parents to do the same."

"Henrietta, listen very closely to what I have to say. My sister is a self-important dolt. She won't make any sense, and there is no way to make her make sense. Don't ever forget that."

"That-"

"Your parents are well aware of this, even though they try not to show it. I wouldn't worry about Mary influencing them."

"I know, but still..."

"She's making your life hell."

Henrietta nodded

"Welcome to my world, sister... Look, I'll see what I can do... Don't get your hopes up to much, I won't be able to control her 24/7. I'm not guaranteeing I'll be able to control her for an hour."

Henrietta nodded and grinned. She reached out to hug Anne and then hesitated slightly.

"It still makes you uncomfortable, doesn't it?"

"No, of course not." Henrietta adamantly protested

Anne lifted her eyebrow. Henrietta blushed and looked down.

"Relax, kid. I'm not going to hate you for it. At least you're making an effort."

"Thanks, Anne."

Freedom Wentworth was quietly drinking coffee in a booth at some little hole in the wall cafe. She was acutely aware that several booths over Anne was sitting talking to some rather effeminate man oblivious to her very presence. Freedom was so preoccupied in not staring at the back of Anne's head that she completely failed to notice Louisa Mori approaching her table.

"Hey," Louisa said.

"Hey, you startled me," Freedom said, smiling rather weakly.

"I didn't know you come here. I'm surprised we haven't met here before. I come here all the time." Louisa carried off the egregious lie with a surprising amount of ease.

"Oh, I've never been here before."

"Really, well, you've gotta try the tiramisu. It's absolutely fabulous," Louisa said, sliding into the booth as she spouted off Anne's stories of great tiramisu.

Damn Freedom thought. "I'm not a big fan of tiramisu," she said.

"Well, theirs is great. I love it... I always wanted to ask you. How do you know you're a, you know."

"You just do." Freedom said, wanting to stop the conversation.

"That's what Anne said when I asked her." Freedom was rather surprised to hear that Anne had openly discussed her sexuality with her niece in law, or whatever the hell Louisa was. "But I think she just didn't want to talk about it. There's got to be more to it than that. Like why do people go for years with heterosexual partners and all and then just go gay."

"They don't go gay. It's a question of honestly and strength. You just have to stand up and be who you are and not let anybody push you into thinking you aren't or shouldn't be." Freedom said, shooting a rueful glance at the back of Anne's head. She immediately regretted it.

What if Anne heard her? Would she be hurt or offended? Freedom didn't want to hurt Anne, but she did like the idea that she could hurt Anne. Anne's head hadn't shifted one bit. She was laughing with that man. How dare she not care. She should be hurt. Freedom was. But then maybe she hadn't heard. Maybe the man was to loud and Freedom to soft to hear her. Maybe Anne still didn't even know she was in the cafe at all. This thought relieved Freedom somewhat, but at the same time made her rather sad. She wanted Anne to care about her, to know about her. Oh damn was this confusing.

Anne walked back to her sister's house thinking. So Freedom was still mad at her about that. Of course, maybe it had nothing to do with her, but Anne was pretty sure it did. Freedom knew very well she could hear her. Well, she supposed she did. Freedom cared, at least. That didn't do any good though. She didn't regret her decisions. She just... regretted Freedom's reactions. Freedom's pain? Her own pain? Anne decided not to think about it anymore, which meant she would spend the entire day thinking about not thinking about it.