A Poor, Paltry, Poem Of Pride And Prejudice

    By Anna J.K. 2

    Part One.

    Posted on Monday, 23 July 2001

    Dearest Lizzy B,
    Lives with Papa, Mamma, four sisters has she!
    Poor Lizzy, if only they were her only barmy family!
    Such a dizzy Is our Lizzy B,
    At the ball, in a room of the Assembly
    There are some new gentleman, numbering three!
    Mrs and all five Bs, go to dance go to see!
    Dearest Janey B,
    She dances with Mr. Bingley!
    But dizzy Lizzy can't seem to dance with anybody!
    Handsome Mr. Fitzy D,
    He can see she!
    But, no, he will not dance with she!
    She is not good enough for me!
    Now our Lizzy B,
    She be quite a busy bee!
    Takes a dislike to Mr. Fitzy D!
    But now off goes Janey B,
    Off to see Miss Bingley!
    But it pours, it rains!
    all down on poor Jane,
    She gets a cold, that can not be!
    Walking across the fields, off sets Lizzy B!
    Her beloved sister she goes to see!
    What a surprise for all to all, except Bingley,
    She arrives, half blown away!
    Her hair, it would not stay!
    Her gown all dirty!
    Caroline has no mercy!
    Mr. Billy D is quite struck!
    She is very pretty, despite her dress covered muck!
    He wants to test her so, he tries her mind out!
    Always ends in arguing bout!
    Returning home after sparks have flown,
    They find that cousin Collins is coming to tea!
    Shame for to sermonising he is prone!
    He has come to see,
    What wife there may be,
    From the Bennet family!

    Part Two.

    At first Jane, but no,
    She may marry soon, but lo!
    What off Miss Eliza, is she?
    No, she and other girls are free!
    So he asks, knowing that £1000 isn't generosity!
    He says the words, not quickly,
    But she still cries,
    Never me!
    Never be!

    But he will no take no,
    Causes quite a show!
    But Lizzy still says no!
    Cousin Collins then asks Miss Lucas,
    She says happy to be,
    Surley I will be Mrs. C!
    Mr. C all her praises sings,
    Charlotte, you see, cares not for romantic things!
    Lizzy is soon happy,
    A Mr. George Wickham is come to town,
    Poor Lizzy, she's gone quite dappy!
    Mr. Wickham puts our Fitzy down!
    But now there is another ball,
    Lizzy is again a fool,
    With Mr. Fitzy D!
    She nearly refuses to dance with he!
    But all is distresses for Lizzy B,
    God help her family!
    Poor Janey B,
    She has lost her love, Bingley,
    He has gone to London,
    Jane can't see Miss, Bingley's con,
    Now Lizzy is off to Kent,
    For Charlotte, she is Heaven sent!
    However, imperious Lady C,
    She does not take to Lizzy B!
    Headstrong girls are not good to see!
    Now Fitzy D and Cousin Fitzwilliam have arrived,
    Come to stay with their aunt, Lady C,
    Cousin Fitzwilliam likes Mrs. C's pretty friend,
    He often goes to the house, surely not contrived!
    If he was not so poor ,
    His bachelor life she may end!

    Part Three.

    He goes quite dizzy,
    About our Lizzy!
    Tells that it was Mr. D
    Who took away Jane's Bingley!
    Dizzy Lizzy,
    Gets in quite a tizzy!
    Such a same that Fitzy D,
    Come to ask her to marry he!
    Tells her how he loves her so,
    despite her family low!
    No wonder she says no!
    She shocked, insulted and she cries,
    Never be!
    Never me!
    Oh poor Fitzy D,
    Lessons in love are long and hard,
    But he never read that card!
    He writes an letter,
    Explains all,
    Includes the details of Mr. Wickham,
    At last Lizzy sees him better,
    Oh what a fool!
    How did she trust such a man?
    Returns home to her family,
    Uncle, Aunty G
    They come with four children wee!
    Come to visit and to stay,
    Come to take, our Lizzy away!
    Off up north,
    To Derbyshire they go forth!
    Our hero, Fitzy D,
    Happens to live at Pemberley!
    That happens to be,
    In the same part of Derbyshire as the Lizzy and Uncle, Aunty G !
    Of course they go to see,
    Not five miles to Pemberley!
    Guess what Lizzy B?
    Who has come back a day early?
    Who do you think, Fitzy D!
    Our poor Lizzy,
    She goes quite dizzy!
    Billy D is nice to Lizzy B,
    And Uncle, Aunty G!

    Part Four.

    However, Lizzy can't quite see,
    Surley it can't be,
    Not for, because of me!
    Dearest Fitzy D,
    He asks Lizzy to meet,
    His sister, Georgiana, ah sweet!
    Fitzy still love our Lizzy B,
    He wonders, will she ever marry me?
    Uncle, Aunty G and Lizzy B,
    They all go to Tea,
    Uncle G and Fitzy D,
    They go to see,
    What fishies there be!
    Caro B, silly she!
    Says nasty things about our Lizzy B!
    Fitzy not a happy bunny be!
    Next day Lizzy B,
    She get two letters from her family,
    Jane write with bad news of Lyddy!
    She has run off, eloped with that evil man,
    Yes, Wickham!
    Poor Lizzy B,
    Definitely a dizzy Bee!
    Dearest Fitzy comes to see,
    Comes to ask, I am sure if she will marry he!
    He finds her in quite a tizzy,
    Oh Lizzy!
    Poor dear, how he wishes he could cuddle she!
    Lizzy B tells he,
    All of youngest Lyddy!
    Fitzy D can't believe,
    Surely not Wickham!
    What an evil man,
    To run away with a girl whose barely 16!
    Fitzy D leaves Lizzy B,
    She cries, oh she loves him!
    Loves him when she must never see her beloved Mr. D!
    Uncle, Aunty G,
    Come to find,
    Lizzy in quite a state,
    They know they must bind,
    To make Lyddy's,
    A happier fate.

    Part Five.

    Mrs. B is all dizzy,
    The household in a decided tizzy,
    When they return home,
    Poor Jane and Lizzy must cope on their own,
    Returned to his family,
    Is Mr. B,
    Good news at last, Uncle G,
    He has found the wayward Lyddy,
    She is now with Aunty G,
    Till the day she has to marry he,
    Perfect punishment for our evil man,
    Hehe Wickham!
    To Longbourn come their disgraced family,
    Mr. W and our Lyddy,
    Silly Lyddy happiness to mention when out,
    Mr. Fitzy D was at my wedding!
    Lizzy writes to Aunt, what is Lyddy on about?
    Lizzy gets her answer, why who paid for all but Mr. D
    Uncle G, he was only playing the part, only acting!
    While reading, who should come up to see,
    Our Lizzy B,
    Mr. Wickham, that hated he!
    I am sorry to disturb you,
    says he,
    It is nothing, lies she,
    Let us walk,
    Of what shall we talk?
    I heard you had been to see
    the glorious Pemberley,
    We did indeed, see the house of Mr. D,
    Did you see,
    The village of Kympton asks he,
    No I think not answers she, It was to be my living you see,
    Well, says Lizzy,
    And how would have liked to be a vicar?
    Very well, he says a little quicker,
    Indeed cries she,
    You do surprise me,
    I heard once you had refused to take it,
    Well, says he, embarrassed quite a bit,
    Come now Mr. Wickham,
    Looking at the man.

    Part Six,

    We are brother and sister now,
    She smiles and gives her hand,
    All is done with a kiss and bow,
    Soon Mr., Mrs. Wickham leave, heading for the north,
    Hope someone poisons his broth!
    More good news for the family,
    Retuning home Mr. Bingley!
    He and Fitzy D have come to see,
    all the barmy bees!
    Mrs. B is all dizzy,
    Fitzy has come to his Lizzy,
    But not a words he speaks, only asking after Uncle, Aunty G!
    Oh why did he come?
    Surely not to sit and be glum,
    Poor Lizzy, now her heart agree!
    Poor girl in a tizzy!
    Returns again Mr. Bingley, will Jane ever marry he?
    No fear,
    He is too dear,
    Yes is the answer,
    For Jane is no chancer!
    All the family are happy bunnies,
    One day when Bingley and Jane wander free,
    Guess who comes to see our Lizzy B?
    Yes, Lady C!
    She has heard a rumour,
    Spread no doubt by Sir William,
    That Lizzy will soon become,
    Mrs. Fitzy D!
    Lady C is at all happy,
    How dare you Miss B,
    To ever think that you ever could love he!
    How dare you come to my home and be so rude to me!

    Has he asked you to marry he?
    You said it was Impossible Lady C!
    So it should be,
    But you may have made him a barmy D!
    Hardly going to admit to that Lady C,
    Cries Lizzy B!
    Now Lady C,
    I run, I flee!
    Good day, you are no lady.

    Part Seven.

    The next day come Bingley and Mr. D,
    Come to see the Bennet family,
    Lizzy and Fitzy D,
    Go for a walk to see,
    All the views of the country,
    Lizzy of course knows the truth about Lyddy,
    That it was not Uncle G, that did help her family,
    Mr. D paid all the fee,
    Thanks has she,
    From her full heart,
    He is shocked, she was never mean to hear his part,
    She should never have learnt,
    I tried to stop you from feeling hurt,
    But now I must ask,
    This is my sole task,
    Have your feelings changed?
    Have I removed my mask?
    I love you still,
    I will love you till,
    The very end of time,
    Oh, my feelings, cries she,
    I hardly wish to remember my terrible crime,
    I have changed all my feeling now,
    Do not ask how,
    But all my opinions are quite reversed,
    On his face a smile burst!
    Oh how he loved she,
    And all her feelings were returned,
    Thery wandered on, he telling all,
    Of how she had taught him not to be a fool,
    How she had humbled him,
    Whta words can she say, all are dim,
    Now Bingley marries Jane,
    Not in the rain!
    Lizzy has her Fitzy D,
    What a blessed family!
    How happy they shall be, trying to avoid Mrs. B!
    Though it must be said that, all is well,
    That ends swell,
    But you must see,
    This rhyming thing is not me,
    It's this silly book, P and P!

    © 2001 Copyright held by the author.