Beginning, Section II
Jump to new as of April 2, 2002
Louisa had fallen asleep, exhausted. She seemed fine, but the doctor insisted on having her stay for the night, in case she might develop pneumonia or prove to have suffered whatever more from the mishap than visible at first examination.
Henrietta was so shocked from the events of that Sunday-afternoon on the beach of Lyme, that she wanted to return to her parents immediately. She told Anne so, while they stood next to Louisa's bed. They had stayed behind together at Louisa's bedside until she'd have fallen asleep, and the others were waiting for them to join them as soon as she would be sleeping soundly. Now that this was the case, they left Louisa.
"Of course I'm willing to give you a ride, Henrietta," Anne said, "Let's find the others and propose a swift departure. Louisa'll be fine."
They soon saw the rest of them, seated on a group of small red seats in the hospital hall. Wentworth, sitting with his back towards them, was unaware of their arrival and Anne just heard him say:
"Anne should stay at Louisa's bedside, don't you think? She has the sweetness and the patience to sit next to an ill person."
Then all of a sudden he stopped, hearing their footsteps. He turned around.
Anne tried not to show her embarrassment. She felt sadness and joy at the same time. He wanted her to sit next to Louisa, because - and that was flattering - she possessed sweetness and patience, but also because - and that was painful - Louisa was his favourite...
Wentworth seemed somewhat unsure and cleared his throat.
"Ehm - Anne, we just discussed that we might as well leave this evening instead of tomorrow morning, as we first planned, but would you- would you mind to stay, to watch over Louisa? I mean -"
His green eyes rested on her face, hesitatingly.
Before he could continue or Anne could provide an answer, Myra began to wail.
"Why should Anne stay?! She is nothing to Louisa! I'm her sister-in-law and I have just as much sweetness and patience as Anne. It's just the Elliot character! I think I should stay at Lyme!"
"Myra- " Charlie began.
"What?! You know how much I love Louisa! Don't you try to prevent me from sitting with her!" Myra said in tears, blinking dramatically.
Wentworth looked alarmed, but Anne gave him a meaningful look and said:
"Indeed Myra, you love her as much as we all do and perhaps even more. But are you sure you can stay awake all night? I really wouldn't mind to stay with her myself. I'm used to night shifts, you know?"
Anne hoped mentioning the night would scare her off, but on the contrary, it seemed to strengthen her.
"Of course I can watch over my beloved Louisa during a night! I'm an Elliot!"
With her large, hazel eyes filled with a mixture of sadness and playfulness, Anne looked from Myra to Wentworth, shrugging.
Charlie gave it a last try by mentioning she was needed with her own boys, but it was no use.
"You can return, Charlie, and when you all go in one car and leave one car behind, I can take Louisa home as soon as she's able to leave the hospital."
"Are you sure you can do this, Myra?" Anne said in a last attempt to make her change her mind.
"Of course! I stick to my decision. It's the Elliot way!" Myra exclaimed undignified.
Pang.
Anne couldn't help but throw a quick glance at Wentworth's face. He lifted his eyes to her that same instant, just as abruptly as she did. They both knew they thought about the same decision, made so many years ago. A decision made by an Elliot.
And was it true, or did it only seem like there was a glimpse of desperation in both her hazel and his green eyes?
"She'll stick to her decision, of course she will," it echoed in his head.
"He thinks I'll stick to my decision, I'm sure he does," her mind echoed.
But all these feelings connected to the past only lasted an instant, for the reality of here and now got hold of them.
Charlie gave way.
"Well, all right them, Myra. We'll go home with Anne's car, and you can take ours, when Louisa has recovered enough and the doctors say she can be removed."
That evening, Charlie took his place behind the wheel in Anne's Grand Cherokee, so that Anne could sit in the back next to Henrietta, who was so tired that she'd become almost apathetic by now, worrying over her beloved sister.
Benwick took the other front seat, so Wentworth was to join Anne and Henrietta in the rear.
Before she knew it, Anne was sitting next to him. They hadn't been this close for years! She tried to compose herself, hoping he wouldn't notice her uneasiness. She was worrying for nothing though, for Wentworth was far to busy rearranging his own thoughts, to become aware of any uneasiness on her part.
"I'm practically sitting on his lap!!" she realized with a shock.
Wentworth was just as nervous as she was. The shock of being so close together prevented them from talking, but they were ever so aware of their leg touching the other's. It was as if electricity flashed to and forth, every time they changed position or leaned to one side because of the turns in the road.
Henrietta leaned on Anne's shoulder, unable to stay awake. Charlie had his eyes focused on the dark road, and Benwick stared out of the window.
It was Wentworth who first broke the silence, very softly though.
"Anne?"
It was nothing but a whisper, spoken almost inaudibly. The men in the front hadn't heard.
She turned her head a little in his direction to show she had heard him, but didn't look at him. She was sure their noses would almost touch if she did.
"You were very - " he started. Somehow he didn't manage to find the right words. "If only I had been more - "
Anne thought she knew what he meant. He must think he should have been near Louisa first, that afternoon in the waves. After all, she was his favourite, wasn't she?
"Yes -" she whispered back, the tone of her voice displaying her understanding.
"I should have been - " he continued. "I was rude to you, Anne, and I apologize."
There, he had said it. He looked at her, expectantly.
Now Anne looked at him, somewhat puzzled.
"Rude? Today? I- I cannot remember," she whispered.
"No, not just today, in general," he explained, not that it made things any clearer to her.
She was so close. Her large eyes seized him, confused, wondering, and as always a glimpse of sadness lingered in them. So beautiful, so large, so hazel.
Before she could answer, they were interrupted in this, may I say, major conversation. Since they had renewed their acquaintance, they had barely exchanged three words until today. And now, finally, they were talking. But it couldn't last, for they had reached their destination, and Henrietta woke up with a big sob.
Anne and Wentworth didn't meet often after the Lyme-holiday. At least, they hardly were alone together. Anne almost bumped into him once, when she was fetching herself some tea after classes, but both seemed to be in a hurry and they hardly spoke a word except for a faint "hello".
And while Anne had her work, Wentworth had his. And furthermore, he did not stay too long at Uppercross Hospital. His main purpose there had been to see his friend Jaymz Benwick get settled. He also did some research, comparing the way things were eight years ago in Uppercross Hospital to what they were now.
That didn't take more than a few weeks, and then he left for London, were he would stay with some relatives. It was said he would spend some time in Shropshire, where his brother Edmund seemed to live.
Anne was very disappointed that Wentworth had left, though she'd never admit that. She was angry at herself for her feelings, mad that she still cared for a man she'd let go, no, even had sent away!-, years ago. She was happy to find distraction in her work.
Helen Smith was a constant source of pleasure to her, always there for a cozy dinner or a sweet chat. Anne was very glad to have her friendship, but never dared to confide in her about her feelings towards Wentworth, nor did she tell anything about their past. She sometimes wished to do so, but she thought it wouldn't serve any purpose to unfold her heart. It was evident that she had had her chances to win Rick Wentworth, and she had used them very ill. Now he was lost for her forever, due to her own acts. So what was the use of telling this to anyone?
The only being that ever saw her tears, was Quasimodo, her red, fluffy cat.
Louisa was dismissed from the hospital in Lyme the day after the others had left, and she safely returned to her parent's farm. Benwick came to visit her often, to the pleasure of all inhabitants of Uppercross Farm.
Anne was not so eager to answer her father's request to spend some time with him and Elsa in Bath, but decided to yield. It would do her no harm to visit Bath for a few days, a week at the very most.
Her welcome in Bath was not very warm, but she hadn't expected it to be so. However, there was a pleasant surprise as well: Elsa, who had always been too snobbish to win any man for her, finally seemed to have formed a mutual attachment to someone she met in Bath.
She began to talk about him the minute Anne entered their apartment at Camden Place, and didn't seem to find any object worthy to dwell on.
His name was Elliot Williams, which, in Elsa's opinion, clearly indicated his high birth on his mother's side, for why should he be called Elliot if his ancestors hadn't been Elliots?! Elsa kept guessing and wondering, not even expecting Anne to answer.
Anne didn't mind her chatter. In fact, Elsa was more friendly that ever.
Her father noticed this too, and said: "People in love are good company!", which made Elsa giggle and deny her being in love.
Anne didn't comment, but a sigh escaped from her lips.
She did not agree. She did not think herself good company while being in love. She did not even like to be around herself when in love. All it brought was hopelessness and melancholy.
But then, she had to admit there was a major difference between Elsa and herself. Elsa's love was most likely to be gratified, whereas hers was hopeless (and had been for years).
"Anne! Hello! Wake up!"
Elsa tried to get her attention. Anne startled. Her musings had taken her far away.
"He will be here any minute now. Make sure you behave!"
Anne smiled faintly. She was not in the habit of exposing herself to ridicule, nor was she afraid of doing so. How thoughtful of Elsa to remind her of good conduct, anyway...
He came in.
Anne turned to the door to greet this Elliot Williams, who had managed to win her sister's heart, and -what was even more extraordinary- might have lost his own to Elsa.
The moment she beheld him, she felt as if someone had slapped her in the face.
They had met before.
He had been staring at her in the pub, had almost bumped into her on the beach at Lyme!
Elliot Williams experienced a similar feeling. His queer look was not lost on Elsa. She looked from Elliot to Anne and back.
"Ahm, Elliot, this is my sister Anne. Anne, this is Mister Elliot Williams." Her voice sounded unsure.
"Pleasure to meet you, Miss Elliot," he said with a smile.
"Likewise, sir,"
"Miss Elliot, am I mistaken or have we met before?"
Elsa was all astonishment. She didn't approve of this at all! She wanted to be the centre of attention, especially Elliot's attention, but they hardly seemed to notice her presence! Indeed, she was quite put out! But before she could think of anything clever or witty to say, Elliot and Anne were in the middle of a conversation she had not share in.
"Yes, I'm sure we have met! In Uppercross, wasn't it, and then at the beach in Lyme! What a happy coincidence!" he exclaimed with joy.
Then more serious he added: "I heard about the tragic happening, the girl who almost drowned. How is she?"
"Oh, she's very well. She only had to stay in the hospital for one night, and suffered no complications from her bad adventure," Anne answered.
He was very sympathetic, well mannered, the perfect gentleman. What a coincidence indeed! Maybe her stay in Bath wouldn't be that boring after all!
Indeed, the presence of Elliot Williams made her hours spent at Camden Place quite pleasant. He was an eloquent, intelligent man, able to participate in any conversation, amiable and -yes- attractive. He was not extremely handsome, but his features where fair and his air was noble.
Elsa on the other hand became dreadful, in order to secure Elliot's attention. She'd do anything for that. And already being accustomed to scold her younger sister, she had no scruples in doing so openly.
She could not have chosen a better occupation to scare Elliot off. He was rather partial to Anne and any feelings of affection he might have harboured for Elsa, where overwhelmingly overpowered by his sense of admiration for Anne.
Within a few hours, he had confessed to Anne that he had been taken aback by her beauty and elegance, first when they met in Uppercross as well as when they almost collapsed in Lyme.
Anne was still a little dazed from the extraordinary coincidence that they met again, but she was flattered and really felt appreciated. After Elliot Williams had left, she took in Elsa's anger with a light heart. But then, she never had any idea that this Elliot Williams might have formed any serious design on her, the unworthy and plain Anne Elliot. It just never entered into her head that anything like that might be the case. So in her humble (and often underestimated) opinion, she was no threat to Elsa.
She could not have been more wrong.
To Anne, Bath had more pleasures to offer than ever before. She had hated Bath, but the main reason for this profound dislike was the fact that she had stayed there in her teens, when her beloved mother had just passed away. To her, Bath had always been connected to a thorough sense of sadness and grieve, but now, she was finally able to understand it was not Bath that provided such feelings. It was her own memory.
For now that she was in pleasant company, she felt as good as ever, and maybe better. Although Elliot Williams was not the kind of man she'd ever loose her heart to (such a man didn't exist, except for one, she was positive about that), he made her feel good and she welcomed his attentions.
The arrival in Bath of two of her best friends made her stay even more agreeable: it were Lady Russell, who had an apartment nearby, and Helen Smith, who stayed at a friend's place in a less expensive part of Bath.
Anne felt so confident that she even dared risk her father's disapproval. When all Elliots, -including Lady R., as a good friend of the family- were invited to the "humble abode" of some far-away cousin, Lady Dalrymple, a member of high society and therefore very interesting to Sir Walter Elliot, Anne refused to go, claiming her right to do so in a prior engagement. Helen had asked her to stop by that very same afternoon, and she'd much rather see Helen than sit in a dusty parlour talking about the long-lost glories of an England that no longer exists.
Elsa was furious ("for did not her sister have the worst taste ever met with?!"), but Anne managed to appease her by suggesting an excellent idea: why didn't they ask Elliot Williams to accompany them to this honourable Lady Dalrymple? That would be just perfect, for it would seem like he and Elsa were a couple. Ever so nice!
Anne was very welcome at Helen's friend's place. Helen had been acquainted with this friend, a nurse called Shirley Rooke, for ages, and Helen had told her about Anne more than once, so Shirley was most eager to meet Anne Elliot in person. Shirley was a very friendly, extrovert person, with a good sense of humour and a thousand of stories to tell. In her career as a nurse, she had been in a lot of homes, and she said especially the rich were unlimited sources of unbelievable stories. Unbelievable yet true, she said, and she had many examples to entertain Anne and Helen with. She seemed to know almost everything about almost everyone in Bath and beyond.
They spent a most pleasant afternoon together, and Anne didn't regret a single minute not having met Lady Dalrymple.
When back at Camden Place, however, she found out Elsa's bad temper hadn't subsided yet. On the contrary...for Elliot Williams had seemed very eager to join the Elliots to Lady Dalrymple, but the moment he understood Anne would not participate, he thought of some silly excuse and stood them up!
Apart from the thunderstorm she had to cope with due to his actions, Anne felt very, very flattered. Elliot truly liked her company, and she truly liked that.
Yet, although she couldn't explain its source, there was this slight uncomfortable feeling in her stomach when she thought of him.
I wish I knew more about him, his past, his relatives. In a way, he's a little too... smooth," she thought to herself, staring out of the window. But her feelings seemed to be ill-founded, and she had no apparent reason to dislike him.
Lady R., on the other hand, was smitten with him. She had come to dine with the family and praised Elliot Williams to the skies.
"Anne, he's just what a man ought to be! I really think you should not let him go just like that!"
Anne laughed.
"What do you mean, let him go just like that?! I don't even have him, Lady R.!"
"Well, you know! I think this man is worthy of your company, Anne, and you know I don't easily approve of any man!"
Oops!
Too late. Lady R. realized this was not the best of remarks she had ever made. She wisely decided not to pursue the matter and asked Anne about her afternoon with Helen Smith and her friend.
Next morning, Elsa, Lady R. and Anne did some shopping. Afterwards they had a cup of tea in a lunchroom. They had just ordered when Elliot Williams happened enter the very same place for a croissant. Of course he was asked to sit at their table, which he willingly did. He made all the perfect remarks, gave perfect comments, made some perfect jokes, and had Elsa and Lady R. completely on his side. The object of his conduct however, was Anne. She smiled a little, laughed a little, but said few and seemed distracted, Elliot thought.
Elliot was right. She was trying to understand why she did not fall in love with this perfect man. Lady R. was fond of him, Elsa hoped to win him for herself, but she, Anne, did not share their excitement. Of course, she felt good when he was around, for he treated her like a queen, and although she intuitively felt this discomfort, she could not say he was flirting too much, nor did he exaggerate his praise. He also had eye for Lady R. and Elsa, and when he had come to Camden Place, he had also spent time with her father. He truly had a way with people. But maybe that was exactly what bothered Anne. He seemed to get along with everyone, and that just didn't seem natural.
While musing over these things, Anne looked to the wet street outside the lunchroom. Umbrella's in any possible colour filled the sidewalks. Lady R. followed her gaze and observed that they would have to take a cab, for they had left this morning with abundant sunshine, and hadn't bothered to take an umbrella with them. Elliot was most eager to stop a taxi for them and ran off.
When Anne turned her head to the window one last time before she rose, she saw him.
He walked on the other side of the street, under a green umbrella. He wore a grey coat. And he was here, in Bath!! And then, of all things, he crossed the street and headed right to the very same lunchroom!
The shock was too great to overcome without the others noticing something was the matter.
"Anne, are you all right, dear?" Lady R. asked anxiously.
"I'm fine, I- I just need to drink a drop of water, I think," Anne answered with a shaky voice.
She jumped to her feet and almost run to the Ladies, hoping to meet him.
And they met.
She had the advantage of having seen him first, so she managed to say a casual "Hey, hello, Rick!"
He froze to the spot, experiencing a similar shock that Anne had just dealt with.
"Anne!"
"Hello," she said again, with a broad smile. "So you are in Bath?! What a coincidence!"
"Yes, indeed," he said, still off balance.
"And how do you like it here?"
"Ahm, well- I've only just arrived, as a matter of fact, and I have been- " he grinned at that point- "I have been equipping myself for Bath, and bought myself this green umbrella!"
Anne laughed, a warm and sweet laugh. "Very useful! They say it always rains in Bath!"
He grinned and seemed a little more at ease. At that moment, Elsa and Lady R. approached and Elliot appeared, declaring a cab was waiting for the Misses Elliot. Anne had to excuse herself. She wanted to tell him how happy she was to meet him, how much she wanted to stay here and talk, but she couldn't find the words, couldn't come up with an excuse to let the others leave without her, in fact, felt very lost and unsure...
"I hope we meet again, Rick," was all she could say.
And why, why did Elliot chose that moment to wrap his arm around her as if they were lovers for years?!
Rick didn't answer. He recognized this handsome man in an instant, and he seemed to have run out of words. Elsa and Lady R. did not even bother to greet him, they had left for their taxi already, but Elliot, gentlemanlike as always, gave Rick a friendly nod and looked at Anne questioningly, waiting for her to introduce this man to him.
"Ehm, Rick, this is Elliot Williams-" -o help, what on earth could she say of Elliot to make it clear he was just a slight acquaintance?! No ideas, no plans, no words came at her rescue. Best say nothing then- "and Elliot, this is Rick Wentworth, he's from America, we met at Uppercross Hospital."
Oh, how disastrous! She should have said "Elliot Williams, a friend of mine", or something, or "we've only just met," or no, even better, "a friend of my sister's"... But it was too late. Elliot ended the conversation.
"Pleasure to meet you, sir. I hope to see you again. Will you by any chance be going to the concert of Laura Pausini tonight, in the City Hall? You know, this young Italian singer, wonderful voice she's got. Well, maybe we'll see you then? Come Anne, the others are waiting," he said with his most charming smile, to her and then to Wentworth, who hadn't uttered a syllable yet.
"Ah, yes, nice to meet you..." was all he could think of, and they were gone before he had the chance to say whatever more.
Maybe Anne Elliot had never looked better than this evening. Her radiance made all people surrounding her almost pale. Her cheeks were a soft shade of red, her eyes glowed and shone like candles in the dark, and the dress she wore was very becoming on her.
For once, she had decided to let her hair down, and its full, dark curls framed her beautiful face ever so lovely.
She was very exited when she entered the City Hall with her father and sister. She was looking forward to the concert, anyway, but also knew her excitement was caused by the hope to meet him again.
Before she had even a chance to look around, however, she was almost absorbed by Elliot Williams.
"Oh Anne, how very well you look this evening!"
He was right, of course, but Anne did not really like to obtain his compliments now.
I must get rid of him! Oh, what can I do to get rid of him?! What if Rick sees me with him all the time? If Rick is there...!
She suddenly had the most brilliant thought.
"Thank you, Elliot. Oh, by the way, I am so thirsty! Would you mind to fetch me something to drink? Please?"
There was no way that Elliot could resist such charm.
"Oh, and Elliot, take a drink for Elsa too. I bet she is thirsty as well!"
Mmmm, that would do the trick for about a quarter of an hour, for the bar was an the other side of the building and there were many people waiting for their turn, or just standing in everyone's way.
She kept looking around, hoping to see a glimpse of his familiar face. She looked in the wrong direction, though, and missed him when he entered. He saw her in an instant. She was like the moon in a crisp black winter sky, making all stars around here grow dim. He could not remember having ever seen her with her hair down, and it made him swallow twice to compose himself.
What a beauty she is!!
He slowly walked towards her, and then she saw him. She smiled, which enlightened her face even more. Not the moon in a black sky, the sun at noon in a blue summer sky!
She stepped in his direction and they reached each other in a moment. Her eyes shone, reflecting the lights on the walls.
"Hi Rick! How nice to see you!" she said with genuine happiness.
"Hello Anne," Rick said, cursing inwardly for not being able to come up with some witty remark. He just did not know what to say. Hi Anne, you look like a princess in a fairy tale and I love you more than I dare admit to myself? Hi Anne, you are the sun, the moon, the stars and I'm utterly and completely in love with you? Hi Anne, if you ever turn me down again I'll die?
None of these options seemed really appropriate at the time.
But no other answer was necessary, for her father and sister had decided to take notice of him, and Anne gracefully introduced them. They remembered him only slightly, said some polite things, and returned to their prior conversation.
Anne was happy that Elliot had not returned yet, and hoped Rick wouldn't leave, so she stepped a little closer to him and asked: "Have you ever heard Laura Pausini before?"
Laura Pausini? Oh, of course, Laura Pausini, this was a concert of Laura Pausini!
"Ehm, no, never, actually," he replied.
"Well, you'll love her. She's great," Anne reassured him, looking ever so lovely that he hardly listened to her words.
How can I ever win her heart?! It echoed through his being, and all he could do was stand there and look at her. Fortunately, she came up with a subject he had something to say on.
"I heard you spent some time in Shropshire, is that correct?"
"Indeed. I stayed with my brother Edmund. And you, you have been working, I suppose? How are Benwick and Harville?"
"They're fine, at least, they were when I last saw them, some days ago," she answered.
"I hear Benwick seems quite fond of the Musgroves"
"Yes, he spends a lot of time at the farm," Anne answered, "and the Musgroves are fond of him as well!"
"Good! It is good for him to find distraction. It will make him rally again from the severe blow he suffered."
Anne's eyes reflected sympathy and sadness when she thought about Jaymz Benwick. "He is a good man," she said. "He must have loved Phoebe Harville very dearly."
"Yes, he lost his great love when she died." A glimpse of pain washed over Rick's face.
Anne saw it, and she wondered what could be its source. Sorrow for the loss of Phoebe, or for the hurt it had inflicted on his friend, or maybe both?
She could not have guessed that he thought something else. It was she he thought about. He thought about his own experience of losing one's great love. He looked her in the eye with a serious, almost grave look. She was silent, not knowing how to proceed the conversation.
"How is Louisa?" Rick broke the silence.
"She's fine. The waves did not take her health away," Anne said with a smile, though a faint one.
Of course he likes to know how Louisa is..., she could not help but think.
"I'm glad to hear it. Did I ever tell you that your conduct at the beach was very adequate? I- I admire your composure. You were the only one that had the ability to organize the best scheme to solve the problems. I just wanted you to know..." he spoke softly, restraint.
Anne's cheeks turned even more red as she took in his praise. The thoughts about Louisa and his interest in her, suddenly vanished.
"Thank you." It was almost a whisper.
Oh how she wished this conversation could have lasted longer! But she knew at some point, Elliot would return, with or without a drink she didn't want. And he did, with a drink, and only one.
Wentworth's expression changed. He frowned slightly and looked at Elliot with a look of rivalry. Anne saw it, and in a moment of common sense she knew just what to do.
"Oh, hi Elliot! Elsa, look, Elliot has fetched you a drink!"
Pleased at her own smartness, she stretched out her arm in Elsa's direction, as if to make way for Elliot to join her.
Elliot looked a little confused. Why, he had not gone to so much trouble to present a drink to Elsa! But it seemed impossible to offer the wretched drink to Anne now, so he had to hand it to a beaming Elsa.
So far, Anne had managed to keep Elliot away, but her success didn't last, for the concert was about to begin and the seats were numbered. Wentworth happened to have a seat a few rows behind theirs, and of course, Elliot arranged a place next to Anne.
No! Now he'll see every move Elliot makes in my direction!
But she could not think of another excuse. She had to let things be. Besides, as soon as Laura Pausini was on stage and began her first song, she forgot everything around her, and Elliot not even dared speak to her.
It was wonderful. Laura's voice was so powerful, so beautiful, and Anne was enraptured by the beauty of the Italian language.
During the break, most people went to the bar to have a drink, and Anne hoped Elliot would volunteer to stand in line, but he didn't. Her father did. And while they were waiting at a table, Elliot asked her which song was her favourite.
Without a doubt she answered "Amori Infiniti"
"Help me out, how does it sound? I don't really remember, all songs were about amori infiniti, weren't they?"
Anne sang him a few lines.
"Wow, your Italian is perfect!" he cried.
Wentworth had been looking for her, and saw her standing next to her fervent admirer. He couldn't help but approach them. Did he want a share in their conversation? Not really, but he had a feeling as if she wasn't safe when this Elliot Williams was near. He hated the very sight of the man, and at the same time he disliked himself for this childish jealousy. He drew near close enough to overhear their conversation.
"Can you translate it to me?" Elliot asked.
"Mmmm, let's see, I have her lyrics here. I'll try, but I must warn you, my Italian isn't very good. Ah, there it is." Anne unfolded the paper she had found in her bag.
"This is the one.
Amori infiniti *Niente a che fare con noi
È questo amore che
Assomiglia di più a una sfida
Ma la distanzia che c'è
Questa diversità
È una corda che unisce sempre un po' di più
Un elastico che ci riporta magnetico
Più vicini che mai
Anche quando non vuoi
Well, let's see, it's about a love that seems distant, but in fact there is this elastic cord that binds the lovers like magnets. And then it says:
Niente a che fare con noi
È questo amore che
Se non si è ancora perso è un miracolo
Non importa di chi
Sorridendo ci giudica
È evidente che sia solo per gelosia
Sorry, I already told you my italian needs practice ! Something about jealousy."
Anne giggled, unaware of the nearness of Elliot, who almost kissed her ear but had the wits to refrain from doing so. Wentworth witnessed all particulars of the scene before him, but he could not see Anne's face. He did know, however, that she explained something Italian to this man, and that she had not sought his, Wentworth's, presence.
Innocently, she continued.
"Questo amore che hai è più grande di te e di me
E se ancora è così no non finirà mai
This love I have is bigger than you and me or something very much like that, and it may not end.
E ogni volta che poi io rimango da sola lo sai
Io ho un bisogno di noi per sfidare la vita
C'è un amore profondo per te
Dentro di me un amore leggero che
Sa ritornare ogni volta da noi
Questi amori infiniti non passano mai
Sa perdonare ogni cosa lo sai
Questi amori infiniti non passano ma
I need us to cope with life or something, ehm, and then something like, let's see, I have a profound love for you inside of me, an intense love that will- ritornare, I don't know, but the last sentence I can understand, I think. I have a love for you that can forgive all it knows, a love that may never end."
She looked up from her studies, right into Elliot's blazing eyes. He was deeply touched, or so it seemed.
"Did you just say that to me?" he asked.
Anne blushed.
"No, silly, I was translating for you!" she cried, laughing.
At that moment, in the corner of her eye she perceived someone retreat abruptly. She turned around and saw Wentworth walk away. He went straight to the exit, and obviously planned to leave the City Hall. In the time of the wink of an eye, she understood the whole situation.
"Oh, Rick!" she almost yelled.
She ran after him, taking no notice of all people around her, who looked at her without exception. For not often does one see a beautiful lady in a most graceful dress run like a little girl, after a man.
"Rick!"
He heard her and turned around, so suddenly that she almost bumped into him.
"You were not leaving, were you?!"
"Indeed, I was. I see no reason to stay."
"But-" she looked small and vulnerable, hurt even. "But it has not finished yet. She is going to sing one of her most beautiful songs, "La Solitudine", you have to hear it!" she boldly tried to persuade him.
"I know all about loneliness," he said coldly, "and need not hear a song about it."
With that, he turned around and left. He just left!
And he left behind an Anne with tears in her eyes, who stood on the spot where he had left her, until Elliot took her hand and softly pulled her away.
* Laura Pausini, from the album "Laura"
"So you are seeing someone, Annie ?!"
"What do you mean, seeing someone?"
"Now come on, don't be secretive!"
"I am not being secretive!"
Helen didn't believe her, as was obvious by her sly smile.
"Come on, Anne, I've heard all about last night, your concert in the City Hall," Shirley added.
"What on earth are you talking about?" Anne cried out. "Now Shirley, do tell me what you have heard and by whom?!"
Shirley began to describe, in a very conspiring tone, how Anne was supposed to be violently in love with a certain gentleman and how the gentleman was supposed to be close to her all the time.
Has it been that obvious that I'm in love with him? she thought to herself. And he had not been that close either!
"And it was said," Shirley continued, "that he was supposed to be quite in love with your sister at first, but afterwards he seemed to have improved his taste and he decided to switch to you, just like that!"
Now Anne began to feel suspicious. Shirley could not possibly mean Rick had ever been in love with Elsa! So, they must have someone else in mind! All of a sudden, a realization dawned to her.
"Shirley! Helen! Surely you did not think I am in love with Elliot Williams??!!" she cried with an incredulous air.
Both her friends looked to her with a look like a question mark.
"No, you didn't, did you?! Tell me you did not!" Anne demanded.
"You mean- you mean you are not in love with Elliot Williams?" Shirley inquired.
"NO!" came Anne's answer most decidedly.
"You really are not? She is not, Helen! What a relief!"
"What- why- now come on, you must tell me more now!" Anne said.
Shirley and Helen threw one another a quick glance, which did not escape Anne's notice.
"Well?"
Shirley nodded to Helen and finally gave in. What she had to reveal was beyond what Anne could ever have guessed.
"All right, Anne, if you are most certain that you are not in love with him, we might as well tell you the truth. Elliot Williams is not what he seems to be. He is a villain, trying to rob people from their money. He is befriended to the husband of a patient of mine, a certain mister Wallis, who has known him for years."
Here Shirley paused to let her words have full impact.
"Well, this patient of mine, Mrs. Wallis, hates the very sight of him. All he wants is money, though he will settle for a good meal or some nice holidays as well. He is always out of money but nevertheless he buys whatever he needs. It is said that his debts are extreme. And just the other day-"
and here Shirley bowed her head closer to Anne and lowered her voice somewhat, as to increase the tension,
"he told Wallis he had had some clever plans with a woman from higher society, who unfortunately was a pain in the- you know what I mean- but ever so willing to receive his attentions, and he was certain she was very rich. But he had been so lucky as to meet her sister, who happened to be a real beauty and proved to have a sweet disposition, and he really found himself on the edge of falling in love!"
At this point she looked at Anne to see how she took it all, and when encouraged by Anne's look of great disbelief, she continued: "My dear Anne, you must understand whom he was talking about!! He also clearly pointed out to this Mr. Wallis, that he had planned to marry this sister and become richer than ever."
Shirley finally paused, leaving Anne stunned and baffled.
"It's true, Anne," she added.
Anne did not know what to say.
"So you really did not love him, Annie?" Helen asked with concern in her voice.
Anne looked at her friend, while her disbelief was still visible in her eyes.
"No, Helen, not at all. To tell you the truth, I really tried to like him, but he seemed so...unreal. Too smooth, that's what I thought, but I blamed myself for it, for my feelings did not seem justifiable in any way. I had no prove of any kind of misbehaviour from him."
Shirley let out a deep sigh. "Oh, Anne, I'm so relieved! So we were worried for nothing! But- Anne?! You did not seem too surprised when we said we knew you were in love! Are you in love with someone else then?!"
"Shirley!" Helen shouted. "You are prying! Let her be."
Anne's face was enlightened by the slightest of smiles, which gradually broke into a broad grin.
"I am not saying a word, Shirley Rooke! If I do, all of Bath will know all of the particulars by noon, I dare say!"
Helen and Shirley laughed wholeheartedly, and so did Anne.
While walking home Anne had time to reflect on all she had just learnt. Her discomfort regarding Elliot Williams had been right, but it did not make her feel any better. When the first fun of the whole situation had subsided, she felt sad and in her heart she knew exactly why.
Rick had left. He had just left the City Hall last night, finding no reason to stay. Why had he come in the first place? And- what was a most startling thought- what must he think of her and Elliot??!! If Helen and Shirley, who knew her quite well, believed her to be in love with Elliot so easily, what would Rick think?
She would find that out soon enough...
Anne had planned to stay in Bath only for the weekend, but now that Wentworth was here, she suddenly dreaded to leave. Maybe this was her last chance of ever meeting him again. The fact that she wanted to stay and that he was the reason for this wish, made her realize she wanted to make up for the past. She wanted to tell him that she still cared, no, that she cared even more than eight years ago. She wanted... she wanted to give herself the chance to win the love of her life. Would it be possible?
So she told her father and Elsa she'd love to stay for a few days, maybe a week. Her father wasn't for or against the idea, but Elsa had rather see her leave. She would dearly love to have Elliot Williams all to herself again. Nevertheless, Anne obtained her permission (as if she needed it!) when she made clear she would be gone most of the time. She had her friends to visit. She was welcome at Helen's place at any time, but there were others to go to.
The Musgroves had come to Bath as well, even Myra and Charlie, leaving the children in the care of some neighbour. Anne was delighted to have them all near, especially (though she'd never admit that, not even to herself) because Louisa had not come. Fond as she was of Louisa, her presence would make the situation regarding Rick Wentworth more complicated. It was hard enough to deal with it as it was, already.
Myra and Charlie had been to Camden Place that very morning, and they had met Elliot Williams during their stay. As was to be expected, Myra was very pleased with him and had made some remarks to Anne about his eligibleness. Anne hadn't liked this, but found it best not to reveal any of her knowledge to her sister.
She looked forward to see Mrs. Musgrove and Henrietta. They hired a place not so far from the Elliot residence. Anne went through the streets of Bath, not as dry as she would wish to (would the rain ever stop?!), but quite happy to see another friendly face for a change. Now that she had volunteered to endure the presence of Elsa and dad for the days to come, she felt an urge to be out of their sight as often as possible.
She soon found the apartment of the Musgroves and ascended the stairs. Henrietta opened the door and hugged her.
"Oh, it's so good to see you again!"
Anne laughed. "Henrietta, you talk as if you haven't seen me for years!"
"Well, haven't I?"
They both laughed and Anne began to scold the rain in a playful manner, while following Henrietta to the living room. Mrs. Musgrove left her chair to hug her most heartily.
"Hi sweet Anne! How are you dear?!"
Anne was touched by her cordiality. She kissed her cheek and said she was fine. The next moment though, she did not feel fine at all... When Mrs. Musgrove released her, she stepped a little back and looked around the room, and there he was.
There he was.
The room seemed to spin, but Anne found her balance in a split second. She fervently hoped no one had noticed. There he was. And he was not as surprised as she was, for unlike in the lunchroom some days before, he had had the advantage of knowing they would meet first. He gave her a casual Hi.
"Hello," she managed to say.
Will I ever be my normal self in his presence?! she wondered.
"You can take my seat, I was about to leave."
"Oh, no, Rick," Henrietta complained. "Why should you leave now that Anne has just arrived? We have more to talk about when you both stay!"
Rick had left his seat already, smiling faintly to Henrietta. "No, I really think I should go. I have some things to do."
Mrs. Musgrove decided to support her daughter. "Now what could you possibly have to do in Bath on a day such as this? You will be soaked before you reach the end of the street, Rick!"
Anne had not looked to him, and when she did, she saw he was watching her, as if his reason to stay would be present or absent on her face.
"I have an umbrella," he said, looking to her as if he said it to her alone.
"You don't have to leave for my sake," Anne softly said. Why does he hate me so much?
Does she like me to stay, or is it just that she doesn't mind?
"You see?!" Henrietta almost yelled, "you have no choice, Rick, you must stay."
His eyes had not left her face, and she found herself looking back without blinking. Whether this or something else was the cause of his decision to stay, we will never know, but no matter for what reason, he didn't leave.
" All right then. How are you Anne?"
Anne was surprised by his sudden politeness and her answer did not really come coherently.
"Well, uhm, I'm fine, thank you. Just wet."
Henrietta giggled and Rick smiled a little. This was enough of an encouragement to Anne.
" And you, how are you?"
"I'm very well. And dry, due to Mrs. Musgrove's warm apartment!"
Anne smiled back. Maybe they did posses the ability to converse normally after all?
" Anne," came Henrietta's voice, "have you heard the news about Louisa?!"
"What news?" Anne asked curiously.
"No of course she hasn't, Henrietta," said Mrs. Musgrove.
Happy to be the one to break the news to her, Henrietta tried to increase suspense by holding her tongue for a moment, while Anne was eager to listen.
"She- she has a boyfriend!"
"Has she?!" Anne sounded more pleased than she intended to, and she felt ashamed. She couldn't help to throw a glance at Rick. Did he know? And how did he react? But his expression was unreadable.
"Who is it?"
"You are not going to believe this!"
"Come on Henrietta, tell me!" Anne said laughingly.
"Jaymz Benwick!"
"Not going to believe this" was an understatement. Anne almost felt as if someone had punched her in the stomach.
"What??!"
"I'm not kidding!" Henrietta added.
"But how..? I must say I'm surprised!"
Mrs. Musgrove confessed they all were when they first heard.
Anne looked at Rick again, but this time it was not a stolen glance. She was so eager to see his reaction, that she forgot about her usual awkwardness to watch him. While she turned her head towards him, she saw he was looking at her, with a look like he had been watching her all the time. He seemed to feel caught and quickly looked away. Anne did not understand why, but she felt a happiness inside her chest that seemed to have no justified cause, but it was there all the same.
Her happiness, whether justified or not, did not last long though.
"And we heard you are seeing someone too!" Henrietta said happily.
Not again!
"What was his name again, mum? Elliot Williams or something?"
Rick had his eyes on her face again in a split second, burning with curiosity, no, more than that. Was it anger, or sadness?
Anne wanted to defend herself, but had to get hold of her emotions before she could speak. When she opened her mouth to tell them the truth though, the door flew open and Myra and Charlie came in, the former producing a torrent of words before she was barely in the room.
"We just met Simon on our way home!" Myra almost yelled. "We told him were we stay and he said he'd pay us a visit today! What a happy coincidence! We will have such a good time!"
Then she rattled away about her shopping and the things they'd eaten, the people they'd seen, the streets they'd walked.
Anne frantically sought a way to interrupt her in order to get rid of this stupid tale about her having any kind of relationship with Elliot Williams, but Myra was unstoppable and Anne too nervous to keep her voice steady. She would have to wait until Henrietta or someone else brought up the subject again.
Meanwhile she avoided to look at Rick. More than ever, she realized she loved him, and she wanted him to know. But the fear of rejection was greater than her courage, at least for that moment. Anyway, she could not tell him now, could she, in front of all the others.
Indeed, Simon Harville did join them soon afterwards. The rain hadn't ceased and Mrs. Musgrove insisted that all had dinner at her place, and she would not take no for an answer.
" I have enough soup and bread to feed an army!" she declared, and that was the end of the discussion.
While most of the party was talking gaily, Rick was quite silent. He sat a little apart from the others and stared through the window, distracted.
Anne felt quite nervous still, but the presence of Simon was soothing, as it always was, and she was happy he drew a chair next to her. She wished she could speak about this rumour of her supposed friendship with Elliot Williams, but Simon had something on his mind as well, and he unburdened his heart as soon as he was seated.
"You've heard about Jaymz and Louisa, haven't you, Anne?" he asked, his voice lowered.
"Only this afternoon. I must say I was very surprised."
"We all were. Not that we don't like Louisa, I mean, she's a marvelous girl. But that's the problem, I guess. I thought of her as a girl, not a woman. And Phoebe... Well, you know, Phoebe was different. And Jaymz was so broken... I- I sincerely wish him all happiness in the world, we all do, we love him very dearly, but... You know what I mean?"
"Completely, Simon. As much as we love Louisa, we are surprised that she captured his heart, knowing his heart once belonged to a woman with such a different character, compared to Louisa's."
"That's it," Simon eagerly agreed. "Louisa is as fine a girl as was ever seen, but Phoebe... Phoebe was distinguished, refined. I mean...well, you know I had some hopes that you might win his heart-"
Now Anne laughed softly, a sweet laugh that demonstrated her amazement.
"Me?!"
"Now why is that so strange?" Simon returned her smile.
They sat close to one another, and in the heat of their conversation had forgotten all about the others in the room. No one paid them special attention, except for one. And we all know who that person was.
He had to try hard to overhear their conversation at first, but gradually they spoke less softly and he was able to interpret most of their sayings. He watched them intently, and had a clear view of Anne's face.
"Well," Anne continued, "why would he? But never mind," she hastily tried to change the subject, "he has fallen in love with a very lively girl with good looks and a sweet disposition. Surely we cannot blame him for that?"
" I wish I could tell you that I do not blame him. You see, in fact I do not have a just reason to blame him. And yet, I feel as if he betrayed me. Does that make any sense?"
"Yes, it does. Your love for Phoebe, as a brother, is endless. The fact that she is no longer with us, doesn't change that, not for you. But then, she was your sister. You've known her all your life, loved her for better and for worse. Jaymz loved her very very deeply, but now that there came someone in his life that could help him forget the pain, he grabbed this lifeline."
"Maybe you're right. But when I think of loosing Tiffany..." Simon's voice trailed off.
"Your grieve would be immense, but once all seasons had passed by once or twice, you might love someone else again."
"Do you think so?"
"I have seen more examples like that. I believe it is not so hard for a man to love again."
"For a man? You mean a woman would react differently?"
"I think women do. We cannot forget so easily."
"You think we can?!"
"Well, you remember, but you can remember and love again. Remembering does not necessarily exclude loving."
"And you think that is different for women?"
At that moment Rick dropped his watch. He had been playing with it absentmindedly, and was so preoccupied to hear every syllable from Anne's mouth, that he had completely forgotten about his watch, and now it hit the floor with a soft bump.
Anne heard the sound and looked up. She started at the nearness of him. She had no idea he was sitting that close to them! She felt caught, but had no idea that he experienced a similar feeling.
Simon was oblivious to the small movements and motions, and went on defending men.
"But we miss our wives very dearly when we're gone, we always have them on our minds!"
"Yes, you do. I do not deny that. But to a man, love is just a part of living. To a woman, it is the very core of her existence."
Anne had lowered her voice a little, but to certain ears, beside those of Simon, her answer had been audible just the same.
"And you think that means women cannot love again?" Simon asked.
"No, there are lots of women that love again after the loss of their beloved, but when this lost love was their great love, you know, their true love, they will never love like that again."
"You sound like you know what you're talking about, Anne." Simon observed, looking at her with warm sympathy.
"I do," she simply answered.
At that moment, all of a sudden Rick left his seat and walked over to Anne and Simon. He had a bewildered look on his face and did not attempt to hide his anxiety.
"Anne, may I speak with you?" he said, breathing with some difficulty.
"Of course," she said, worried at his strange behaviour. "Are you all right, Rick?"
"Can you come with me, I need to speak to you alone."
"Okay," Anne replied, puzzled. She gave Simon an apologizing look and added "We'll be back soon."
"Where are you going?" Mrs. Musgrove asked when she saw them directing towards the door. "Soup is almost ready!"
Rick didn't even hear it, and Anne smiled faintly and said once again "We'll be back soon."
Rick had walked to the front door of the apartment, opened it and stepped into the pouring rain. Anne was confused.
"Rick, do you really think we have to talk in the rain?" she asked, feeling uneasy.
At that moment she lifted her eyes to his, and the look on his face was enough of an answer. Yes, they had to talk in the pouring rain. She could not remember having ever seen him look so forlorn, anxious, lost, even desperate.
"At least let me get an umbrella," she softly said.
He made no objections, so she stepped back into the hall and quickly grabbed an umbrella. Then she stepped into the rain as well, unfolding the umbrella and lifting it above their heads. The door closed behind them.
He made no attempt to speak, at first, so Anne looked at him expectantly. His eyes were like glued to hers. Still he did not say a word.
"Rick?"
"Anne," he almost whispered, then taking a deep breath, resolved to continue.
Anne felt like she was participating in a movie. It just seemed so unreal, the two of them standing in the pouring rain, without a coat, she holding an umbrella above their heads, he trying to speak but apparently at a loss for words.
"Anne," he gave it a second try. "I heard you talk to Simon, and I -"
The words seem to come more coherently now.
"- you sank your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice, when they would be lost on others. I could listen no longer in silence. Forgive my rude intrusion, but I have to speak to you. Your words pierce my soul. Anne, I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever. Can you fail to have understood my wishes? -I had not waited all these days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have deciphered mine. You were the reason I came to Bath Anne...-"
Such a speech was not to be soon recovered from. Anne could hardly believe her ears. Was he really declaring his love to her? She was too stunned to answer straight away.
He was standing so close to her, so very close, and she wanted to touch him, do something to let him know this was more than she had ever dared hope for, but she was incapable to undertake any of these actions. But her face clearly expressed no rejection, which was enough to make Rick continue.
"Anne- dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I may have been, but never inconsistent. Please Anne, tell me if- please, say something to let me know- I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own, than when you almost broke it eight years ago."
There were no words that could express the joy Anne felt inside. She could not find a phrase to make her heart clear. But her eyes, her eyes spoke the language her heart wanted to speak. They shone like stars, and seemed to look straight into his heart. And she did the most appropriate thing to do.
She raised her head and stepped closer to him. Then she lifted her lips to his, and he did not need more of an encouragement. He bowed to her and their lips touched, ever so slightly at first. Anne withdrew a little to watch his face.
"I've loved none but you, Rick," she managed to say, just before his lips claimed hers again.
And this was not a slight touch at all. They kissed as if they had to make up for eight years. Rick put his arms around her waist and shoulders, and she dropped the umbrella and embraced him. The wind got hold of the umbrella, but they were in outer space.
The length of the kiss will never be known, but the end of it came only when Mrs. Musgrove, worried by their long absence, opened the door to see where they were.
Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw that moment.
"Goodness!!" she cried.
Anne and Rick opened their eyes, and looked at one another first, before they slowly turned their heads towards Mrs. Musgrove, smiling so happily that any star, nay, even the sun, would seem pale beside these smiles.