Posted on Wednesday, 6 February 2002

Author's note: Hey y'all! Basically I'd just like to say that this story was inspired by Savage Garden's "Gunning Down Romance" and that you'll find some of the lyrics to the song throughout the story. Enjoy!

Love come quickly
Cause I feel my self-esteem is caving in
It's on the brink...

Anne Wentworth turned her car onto the driveway and shut the engine off. She sighed and leaned forward to rest her head on the steering wheel. It had been a long day, one among many in the last several weeks and there was more to face. Going to school and working full-time was more exhausting than Anne expected. That didn't count what her marriage was doing to her either. Anne and Frederick had been married five months ago and fought almost every day for three of them.

Well, at least Frederick will be surprised to see me home early, Anne thought as she removed her keys from the ignition and got out of her car. She passed by Frederick's red pick-up truck as she walked up the driveway to the house. Hopefully we won't fight tonight. Maybe, just maybe we can talk like rational people and not resort to insults and threats like the one night we... Anne pulled her thoughts away from the unpleasant reflections. She didn't like to think about that terrible evening. When she did, she felt hopeless about her marriage. It meant that Frederick was changing into someone Anne couldn't like or love.

As Anne unlocked the front door, she mumbled a quick prayer for everything to go right, just once.

Love and other socially acceptable emotions
Are morphine, they're morphine
Cleverly concealing primal urges often felt
But rarely seen, rarely seen...

Frederick lay in his bed, wondering where he and Anne had gone wrong. As he mentally reviewed the last several months of their marriage, his mind drifted back to one particular evening.

Frederick paced back and forth across the living room, his temper rising with each passing minute. He scowled at the clock hanging on the wall. Anne was late...again. He heard a key turning in the lock on the front door and turned to face it just as Anne walked through. Her face was wary and she wouldn't meet his eyes.

"So nice of you to come home," Frederick said sarcastically.

"Don't start, Frederick," Anne replied.

"You said you'd be home earlier."

"I'm sorry, but finding material for my research paper took longer than I thought."

Anne's explanation did nothing to mollify Frederick's temper. He was tired of all her excuses.

"Sorry? You're sorry?" Frederick yelled. "What good is sorry going to do when I'm here alone and you're off at class, or at the library, or at work? Why don't you move on campus? You go to class there, you work there, so why trouble yourself to drive back thirty miles to a home and a husband YOU NEVER SEE?"

Normally Anne kept her temper in these situations, talking in a calm, collected manner and never raising her voice. So it surprised Frederick when her eyes flashed with a sudden anger and she began yelling back.

"Well what do you want me to do, Frederick? Quit school? I told you before we married that I was not going to quit! I have worked too hard and too long for this degree and I am not giving up, especially when I have one more year to go! As a matter of fact I didn't want to get married just yet because I was afraid of what might happen with me still in school! But you insisted! Maybe you would like me to quit my job? We only need the extra money to help pay the bills! I'm sure we could get along fine without heat and electricity! And who cares if we don't pay off the credit cards? Who needs a good credit history anyway? I've always wondered what poverty is like! I can't wait to inform everyone of our change of address-THE CARDBOARD BOX IN THE ALLEY!"

Frederick's face turned red with rage and he raised his fist. Hot anger boiled inside him, making him want to lash out.

Anne's expression turned cold. "You hit me and I'll walk out that door but not before I make you regret it," she said in a frosty tone.

Her words shocked Frederick to the core and cut through his rage. He lowered his fist. Frederick knew Anne was fully capable of carrying through on her threat. She held a black belt in taekwondo and taught it at her university. He never thought his Anne would do such a thing to him, until now. Frederick stared at the woman before him, not recognizing the person she had become. Where was the warm, caring woman with whom he had fallen in love?

"Now I suggest that we end this argument," Anne continued, "before something happens that we both regret. I have to get up early tomorrow so I'm off to bed. Goodnight." She turned on her heel and stalked off to the bedroom.

Frederick flinched when the door slammed shut. He stood silently in the center of the living room while tears began rolling down his cheeks.

It all changed that night, Frederick mused. I was about to hit her... hit my Anne. He felt his face begin to heat because he always remembered that moment with a deep and burning shame. I wish I could tell her I'm sorry but she won't listen. She just gets that look in her eyes... And it scares me . I don't know her anymore.

Frederick looked down at the woman lying next to him in the bed. The sheets were twisted around her waist, leaving her back bare. Frederick brushed his fingers down along her spine and listened to her soft breathing. I don't know me anymore either. I never thought I'd be the type of husband to cheat on his wife. But dammit! Anne drove me to it! A man can only take so much after all! I'm not a monk. He had lost count of the times Anne had repulsed him when he turned to her in the night. It's always "Oh Frederick, I'm tired" or "Please, not now, Frederick, I have an exam early in the morning." Each time it happened, Frederick felt his anger and frustration growing.

Left alone, he would have not turned to another woman. That was before he had met Louisa Musgrove. She was the newest receptionist at the office. Louisa was pretty and her flattery and attention had felt good to Frederick after Anne's neglect. She made him feel like a man again. Then one evening, when Frederick was depressed at the thought of going home to an empty house yet again, Louisa had invited him to her apartment. After a quick internal debate, he accepted the offer.

It happened six weeks ago, just after The Argument with Anne.

Frederick rolled over to check the clock beside the bed and grunted in satisfaction. He didn't expect Anne home for several hours. He decided to let Louisa sleep for a little while longer before waking her up and taking her home. Frederick knew he shouldn't have brought her to the house but Louisa's roommate was holding a party at the apartment.

Frederick wriggled into a more comfortable position on the bed and closed his eyes. Within moments, he was asleep.

Love don't leave me
Because I console myself that Hallmark cards are true
I really do...

As Anne entered the house, she was surprised to find that all the rooms were dark. "Hello?" she called out tentatively. "Anybody home?"

No one answered.

Huh, thought Anne, I wonder if Frederick's taking a nap. She set her purse and keys on the sofa and made her way carefully toward the back of the house to where their bedroom was located. The door was slightly ajar and she quietly pushed it open.

In the dim moonlight shining through the window, Anne could just make out Frederick's familiar form sprawled on their bed. He must have had a rough day at the office, Anne thought. I'll just let him sleep while I make dinner to surprise him when he gets up.

She was just about to turn away when some movement from the bed caught her attention. Something next to Frederick was moving. At first Anne thought it was just her imagination but then the movement started again. It took her several moments to fully comprehend what she was seeing.

There was someone else in bed with Frederick.

Anne's breath caught in her throat. It's not possible, she thought frantically. Frederick would never do this to me. Maybe... Maybe if I turn on the lights, it won't be what I think... It is dark after all. Anne squeezed her eyes shut and felt along the wall for the light switch.

I'm gunning down romance
It never did a thing for me but heartache and misery
Ain't nothing but a tragedy...

Frederick's eyes snapped open as the room flooded with light. At first he though Louisa had gotten up but when he turned his head, he saw her still lying next to him, blinking against the sudden brightness. Frederick felt himself grow cold. Oh no... It can't be... He slowly sat up.

Anne stood in the doorway, her face pale with shock. She stared at Louisa, who leaped out of the bed and began frantically pulling on her clothes.

"Anne," Frederick breathed, not sure what to say. Only after Louisa had finished dressing and hurriedly left the house, did Anne slowly look over at him. Her expression changed, settling in hard lines, becoming cold and distant. "Anne, please, you have to understand, I..." Frederick spoke again. "I never wanted to hurt you-you were never supposed to find out." He stopped, waiting for a response, but received none. Suddenly he was angry. "Dammit, Anne, it's your fault! If you were home more often then maybe I wouldn't have wanted to do this! Yeah, I know it takes two to mess up a marriage but you never even tried to make it work! It's...it's just that I've missed you so much..." Frederick had to blink against sudden tears. "I wish we could go back, you know, to the way things used to be. Please, Anne. Say something!"

One question burned in Anne's mind. "How long?" she asked hoarsely.

Frederick went very still. "How long what?"

"How long have you been with that woman?" Anne spat out.

"I...I..."

"Don't lie to me either. How long?"

Frederick's gaze dropped down to the floor. "Six weeks," he said in flat voice. He tensed, waiting for the storm of anger that would shortly follow.

There was nothing.

He looked up.

Anne was gone.

Love don't leave me

Anne drove aimlessly around the town as her thoughts raced. Oh gods, where do I go? What am I going to do? I can't go home. Dad and Elizabeth would never understand. All they care about is their precious reputations and they'd be more concerned about the possible scandal. Dad will try to talk me into patching things up with Frederick just to save face. That's one thing I'll never do!

I wish Mom were alive. She would have Nanna meet us somewhere and we would...

In that moment, Anne knew who she could turn to. Her Grandmother Russell was a kind and understanding woman. She would help Anne sort out the mess that had become her life.

Anne wiped her tears on her shirt sleeve and turned the car in the appropriate direction. She knew it would take time, but with Nanna's help, she would pull through. Somehow.

Take these broken wings
I'm gonna take these broken wings
And learn to fly...