Beginning, Previous Section, Section III
Jump to new as of October 20, 2002
Jump to new as of October 31, 2002
Part the Fourteenth
The next morning Lizzie woke with swollen eyes and a pounding head. She felt more ill than she had the night before. Jane took one look at her and insisted that she stay in bed. Lizzie had said nothing to Jane in the evening, but had admitted to being unwell, and had not come down to supper. Now Jane was afraid that she had become very ill indeed.
"Lizzie," said Jane solicitously, "You must take care of yourself. I don't believe you slept at all. I have been giving Charles all my attention, and have neglected you."
"Dear Jane, you never neglect me. All I need it some rest and I will be well again. Please tell our mother that I will stay in my room today."
"I will come and nurse you, as you did me in Netherfield."
"You will do no such thing. You will spend your time with Mr Bingley, or I vow I shall not get better." Lizzie gave Jane a little smile and laid her head back on the pillow.
"Would you like Mary to come and nurse you?"
"And plague me with sermons? I will be best left on my own. Just have Lucy bring me up some lavender water to bathe my head."
"You will need to eat something," said Jane with concern. "You had no supper last night."
"Bespeak some plain broth of cook," said Lizzie, closing her eyes.
It was not their maid Lucy who brought the lavender water, but Jane herself. When Lizzie demurred Jane just replied, "Oh hush," and bathed her head. An hour later Jane brought up the broth and fed it to her, telling Lizzie that Bingley was asking after her.
"Of course he wants me better so he can have you back," said Lizzie. "Go to him. I will sleep now. I feel much better."
Jane kissed her on the forehead and left the room, gently closing the door. Lizzie turned her face to the wall and sighed. She felt no better. Nothing could reconcile her to what had happened, but she had to pull herself together for Jane's sake if not her own. She would not have Jane worrying about her. She slept fitfully throughout the morning, and then gave it up entirely and moved to a chair by the window and tried to read. She ended gazing out the window in abstraction, and that was where Jane found her when she brought her up a tray of dinner. Jane quickly had her back in bed. Lizzie ate some poached chicken and tender new peas. She had no appetite, and would have eaten nothing if left to herself, but she ate for Jane. She had to remove the worried look from Jane's eyes.
"There," she said as she finished her meal, "now you can go back down to Mr Bingley."
"Charles wants me to stay here and nurse you. He says that I am so distracted that I pay him no attention so I may as well be with you and make you better as quickly as possible."
"Poor Mr Bingley. I am sorry to be such a burden on you both. I promise you that I do feel so very much better. I will come belowstairs with a book and sit in the parlour and read so that the two of you can be together."
Jane and Lizzie went down together, and Jane fussed around Lizzie until she was comfortably settled on a settee placed in the window embrasure in order that she have ample light for reading. Bingley was very pleased to see Lizzie, and sat with her asking after her health. Lizzie professed to be completely on the mend, but it was easy to see that this was not the case. She was languid, pale, and spiritless. Jane hovered over her, arranging her shawl and adjusting her cushions.
"Please, Mr Bingley," said Lizzie. "Can you not take Jane out into the garden? She is driving me to distraction with all her fussing."
As soon as Jane and Bingley went outdoors, Lizzie gave up her pretence and laid her throbbing head on a cushion, letting her tears run freely. When they returned she had cried herself to sleep. Mr Bennet looked in on her in the course of the afternoon and sat with her as she slept until her mother and younger sisters returned from Meryton. They woke her with their boisterous noise and lack of consideration for her indisposition. Mrs Bennet wouldn't hear of sitting in the back parlour. If Lizzie was unwell, why was she downstairs, pray, and in everybody's way? Mr Bennet insisted that Lizzie return to the peaceful quiet of her bedchamber; having to endure her younger sister's company would only worsen her condition.
"Now you rest, my Lizzie, and I hope to see you well on the morrow," he said after he had attended her upstairs. He then returned to his study to avoid the incessant pleading of Lydia and Kitty that the family go to Brighton. It didn't help that his wife was just as adamant as the girls in support of the idea. The very idea of the Bennet girls following the soldiers to Brighton appalled him, and he wondered yet again how he had managed to fail his youngest daughters so miserably that they had no sense of propriety or decorum.
Meanwhile Lizzie crawled back into her bed, and let her weary body succumb to the cosy comfort of her covers. For the first time since she had been accosted she was able to sleep fully and deeply. With sleep came dreams which were tinged with a nebulous haunted feeling from which she could find no solace until she found herself in an oak wood. She felt at peace walking among the trees. A sense of anticipation grew stronger as she ranged deeper into the woods, and in the very depth of the woods she came upon a sunny glade, and a bank of lily of the valley. She lay among the flowers and let their delicate fragrance seep into her soul. She heard a sound and turned to see a horse and rider enter the sun filled clearing. The rider slipped from the horse and came to her side, drawing her into his arms. His clear green eyes held the most tender of expressions. His embrace was warm and strong and comforting. She felt she would be safe from all the dangers of the world if she could just stay as she was cradled in his arms.
She awoke to birdsong and sunlight streaming in through the parted blinds. The window was open. She got up and leant on the sill, looking out upon the garden, feeling revitalised. I had been ready to give up my happiness and fall into a decline, she mused. And for what? A man who is vile and despicable and derives enjoyment from hurting others. I cannot let thoughts of Mr Wickham oppress me or he will have succeeded. He shall have no power over me. She thought back to her dream. Although the images were no longer clear, she knew the man in her dream was Mr Darcy. She had a recollection of his green eyes and the complete comfort of his presence. Though he was not with her now, and she could not be sure what his feelings were for her, or if she would ever see him again, she accepted that the love she held for him was a good thing, not something to regret. Even if it should go unrequited she knew that it would always be a source of strength for her, and something that she would need to hold on to in order to help her survive living without him.
In the next few weeks, though Lizzie's health had improved, she still was subdued, without her usual spark and vivacity. She went for many solitary rambles and avoided the company whenever the officers visited. Her house was in constant turmoil, first from her sisters lamenting not going to Brighton, and then Lydia's tumult of joy at being invited by Colonel Forster's wife to accompany them. Lizzie implored her father not to let Lydia go, but was unable to tell him why she was so concerned. She tried to reason with herself that Lydia would be safe from Wickham as she had no fortune, and he had never paid her any notice in the past, but she could not ignore her experience at his hands. To tell her father of it was unthinkable, but she did try to stress how Lydia was such a flirt and truly naïve when it came down to the dangers she could be in from too close association with the officers.
"Have you heard some direct charge against any of the men?" asked her father.
"No, but I do not like the forward manner they have with her," said Lizzie.
"Colonel Forster is a intelligent and trustworthy man," said Mr Bennet, "even if he did marry a silly woman. He is not the first man of sense to have made that mistake, heaven knows. His officers look up to him and respect him, and I don't think any of them are foolhardy enough to impose on a girl who is under the protection of their commanding officer. Lydia is bound and determined to expose herself in some public place, so she may as well do it now and be done with it. We shall have no peace at home if she does not go, of that we can be certain."
Lizzie regretted her father's decision, but knew she could do no more than she had done unless she subject herself to needless shame and exposure. She did not think Lydia should go. It was mortifying to have her sister chase after the officers so, but she truly believed her father was right in that none of the officers would dare to offend their commanding officer, even Wickham.
Lydia's being allowed to go to Brighton was not the only disappointment that Lizzie had to face. Her own trip to the lakes had to be put off. Mr Gardiner was detained by business and they would not be able to start their holiday until July. The shortened time made a trip to the lakes impossible. They now intended going only as far as Derbyshire. The very thought of Derbyshire made Lizzie both excited and apprehensive. They were to visit the village of Lambton which was only five miles from Pemberley, Mr Darcy's ancestral estate. The idea of being that close to his home filled Lizzie with longing. She wanted to see him and his home, but she did not want to insinuate herself upon his presence.
Almost as far from Pemberley as Lizzie, but in the opposite direction, Darcy wandered in the gardens of his uncle's estate. Despite the distance, his mind was not far from the environs of Longbourn. A few weeks before he had felt a strange feeling of apprehension whenever he thought of Elizabeth. He had worried that all was not well with her, and had even contemplated writing to Bingley and asking after her, but did not know how to account for this apprehension to his friend. One night she came to him in his dreams. It was not the first time that he dreamt of her, he did so regularly, but this time it was different. He was walking in the oak wood at Rosings filled with a strong sense of foreboding that permeated his very soul. The trees cast huge shadows and grew thickly around him, seeming to close in. Suddenly, from between the trees, she came running up to him with her arms stretched out, her hair streaming behind her, and her eyes rimmed with tears. He held out his hand and she grasped it. The sun burst through the thinning trees, and haloed her. She smiled upon him, a smile of pure delight, and he could not resist the impulse to pull her in his arms and hold her very close. The feeling of foreboding dissipated to be replaced with sheer contentment. When he awoke he felt bereft, and longed to hold her again. As he lay there trying to recapture the dream, he became aware that the feeling of apprehension was gone, and it did not return.
As Darcy pondered the dream yet again, he saw his cousin coming towards him. Colonel Fitzwilliam was on his first leave home since their visit to Rosings. Darcy waited for the Colonel to catch up to him.
"I had something of a specific nature that I wanted to discus with you," said Colonel Fitzwilliam. "I have been waiting for a chance to speak to you in private."
Darcy cringed. He knew what was coming, and he didn't want to talk about the Colonel's disappointment over his Elizabeth, but he couldn't deny his cousin. He looked over at him expectantly.
"You must remember what state I was in when we both left Rosings," began his cousin.
What state you were in? What about my own? Darcy only nodded.
"I thought my life was over and I would never find happiness again. I was so completely under Miss Bennet's spell. I vowed that I must conquer my love for her if I was ever to find peace of mind again. These last few months have been torture. Why do women do these things to us?"
Was it Elizabeth's doing? I think not. You and I were to blame, not her. We fell for her of our own free will; she did not command it of us. "I hope you are not suffering still."
"That is what I needed to tell you Darcy. I am not blind you know. We were both competing for her favour, you must admit that."
Darcy looked away.
"Oh come on and admit it man! You were furious when you found out I had proposed and thought she had accepted. You threw me in a bush!"
"Yes I did, didn't I? Do you want it to happen again?" Darcy smiled.
"No, I'll forego that pleasure. I just wanted to let you know that I am over her. I truly am. Oh, I suffered sure enough, but there is one sure way of ending the suffering."
"Short of killing one's self, I can't think of an option," said Darcy.
"Killing one's self is pointless," laughed the Colonel. "No, I am talking of love! I have fallen in love with another lady, the most charming creature imaginable."
Elizabeth is the most charming creature imaginable. "Am I to wish you joy?"
"No sir! I'm taking it slower this time. I prefer the falling in love part to the rejection part!"
"Well, I am happy for you nonetheless."
"So you don't have to feel any silly honourable guilt about it now. You can go ahead and propose to Miss Bennet yourself!"
"What makes you think she would have me? She rejected you and she seemed to prefer you to me."
The Colonel became thoughtful. "Yes she did, didn't she. But remember, Darcy, you have so much more to offer than me. How could any girl reject you?"
"How can you say that, when you know she would only marry for love?"
"Calm down! I don't want to end up in a bush again. Have a bit more self confidence Darcy old man. If you'd just get out of your shell, you could charm her. You're not so bad looking you know."
"I would prefer not to discuss this," said Darcy.
"You have got it bad, haven't you? Sorry, cousin. I'll behave," said the Colonel ducking away as Darcy lunged at him. "I'm perfectly willing for a complete change of topic."
"Then you had better be prepared to start discussing the weather," said Darcy, and then he smiled at his cousin, all his anger gone. It was good to know that he didn't have to worry about his cousin's feelings any more, not that it would have stopped him from proposing to Elizabeth if he could be sure of her regard. But what a fickle young man he was to throw her over so soon! And he thanked god again for the umpteenth time that Elizabeth had not accepted him
Part the Fifteenth
After having toured other parts of Derbyshire, and visited some of the famous grand homes of the county, the travellers arrived at the village of Lambton. Mrs Gardiner had grown up in Lambton and was looking forward to visiting old friends and cherished places. They found rooms at the Inn and managed a walk down the main street just before suppertime. It was a joy for Lizzie to stretch her legs after having been two hours on the road in the rather cramped carriage. As they ate their meal they began to make plans for the following day.
"Lizzie, I would very much like to tour Pemberley," said her aunt.
Lizzie wanted very dearly to see Pemberley too, but the idea of coming upon the master on their tour was too embarrassing for her to entertain. What would he think of her? "I have had enough of fine houses," said Lizzie.
"But this is much more than a fine house," said Mrs Gardiner. "The grounds are extremely beautiful and should not be missed."
"Are you not acquainted somewhat with the family?" asked her uncle.
"Mr Darcy is Mr Bingley's great friend, and of course I met him when he was in Hertfordshire, and also in Kent, when he visited his aunt at Rosings, but I feel that I would be throwing myself in his path if I were to tour his home. It is different from visiting the grand homes where I am unacquainted with anyone."
"I understand your reticence, my dear, but what if the family is not in the country at present?" asked Mr Gardiner.
"When last Mr Bingley heard from him, he did say that Mr Darcy was visiting with his uncle," admitted Lizzie.
"Then let us ask at the Inn if it is known whether or not the family is at home. If they are not, you can surely have no objections to visiting the place."
It was discovered that Mr Darcy and his sister were indeed not in residence at the present time, and Lizzie allowed herself to be convinced to accompany her relatives on a tour of Pemberley the following day.
The day was bright and fresh. They let the roof down on the carriage to afford a better view of the beautiful grounds they were driving through. The main drive ran through an expanse of lightly wooded hills. They came upon the crest of one hill and found themselves looking down on the view of a valley that took Lizzie's breath away. Pemberley was a stately home built on a grand scale from the local warm pink granite that was used in these parts. Rich green lawns stretched before it, and pleasure gardens spread behind. A pond could be seen beyond. A meandering stream wound its way through groves of beech to the left and led the eye down the valley to the rolling hills of meadow and orchard, and the great belt of dense oak wood.
This is Pemberley, thought Elizabeth. It is more than I had ever expected. How could I have even imagined than the owner of all this would want to marry someone as insignificant as me? At that moment she felt that he was justified in all the pride that he had. And yet, she had to remind herself, he wasn't a really prideful man. He had that awkward shyness which she found even more surprising, knowing now how truly deserving he was of his position in the world.
Lizzie was very quiet during the tour which was given by the very genteel and respectful housekeeper. She had nothing but praise and admiration for her master and his sister, and clearly enjoyed taking pride in extolling his benevolence and fairness as a landlord and master. Lizzie found herself in the gallery gazing up at a portrait of Mr Darcy with her heart in her throat, and tears of longing aching to escape her eyes. He had such a smile playing on his lips that she had seen on occasion when he had looked at her. The painter had not managed to catch the expression of his green eyes, but maybe that expression was only for her. No! She must not give way to thoughts like that, especially here, where it was more than obvious that such daydreaming flights of fancy were futile.
Lizzie was brought back to the real world by hearing the housekeeper comment that she was expecting her master and his sister on the morrow. Lizzie gasped, knowing how close they had come to visiting while he was at home, and was filled with relief that they had not postponed their tour for a day.
Darcy was actually riding through the woods of Pemberley at that very moment. He had some business with his steward and had decided to come a day earlier, although it wasn't really necessary. Georgiana and Mrs Annesley were to arrive the following day as planned. He had felt an unaccountable urge to arrive early and had followed it. Now he was arrived, hot, road weary, and dirty. He guided his horse through the trees and when they were free of them, urged him at a gallop to the shore of the pond.
If Lizzy had looked out the window at that moment instead of gazing at the portrait, she would have seen a rider slip off his horse on the far side of the pond and stand gazing into the water. If Darcy had looked towards the house instead of at the pond there would have been nothing to show him that the object of his thoughts was at that moment in his home, staring at his picture and trying not to think of him, however, that would have entailed that she not think at all.
Darcy looked at the water, remembering all the times he had swum there as a child, even as a young adult on occasion. He loosened his neck-cloth, and wiped the grit from his neck that had settled there during the ride. The idea of diving into crisp clear water was very inviting; the shock of his body hitting the cold wet and then channelling through it to come up refreshed tempted him. Darcy considered taking off his boots and then looked at the water again. Had it been that dirty when he had swum in it in the past? There was green scum floating on the surface, and pond weed thickly weaving in its depths. If he dove in, he would come up covered in green slime, with tendrils of stinky weed hanging from his ears. He shuddered. He was a little too fastidious to even attempt a swim in that murk, no matter how hot and dirty he was. As a compromise, he pulled off his riding jacket, and slung it over his shoulder, then he lead his horse around the pond and to the stable.
The housekeeper took the Gardiners and Lizzie outside to meet the gardener who was going to take them on the outdoor tour. As Lizzie waited for her uncle and the gardener to decide on the length and direction of the tour, she walked alongside a yew hedge to get to a better vantage point for a view of the valley. Mr Darcy came striding purposefully around the hedge and almost right into her. They both stopped short in surprise.
"Elizabeth!" Darcy's face was overspread with amazement. Here she is at my own home! Have I somehow conjured her up, or is she real?
Lizzie coloured deeply and did not know where to look. Oh, that I had not come! I wish the earth would swallow me up. But, he used my name! What can he mean by that? He is only in his shirtsleeves, oh I cannot look! Lizzie couldn't help herself; she raised her head and had another look. His shirt was a delicate lawn, his neck cloth was loosened, and the top three buttons of his waistcoat were undone. He was looking at her with such intensity that she coloured all the more and looked back at her shoes. But my, did he look wonderful. She was embarrassed, she was confused, but she was happy. He was here.
She was real! There she was standing in front of him, blushing rosily and all he could do was stare. Just the sight of her filled him with happiness but he could think of nothing to say. All he wanted to do was take her in his arms and bury his face in her hair. He had to pull himself together. This was his home, and it was his duty to welcome her and her friends and to show them what hospitality he could.
"Miss Elizabeth, it is an honour." Darcy suddenly remembered that he was dirty and dishevelled, and only partially dressed. He struggled into his riding jacket and attempted to tidy his neck cloth.
"Mr Darcy . . . I had no idea . . ."
"I have only just arrived," said Darcy somewhat disjointedly. "Have you been here long?" He quickly did up all his buttons on his waistcoat and his jacket. He had to do them over a few times as he kept getting them in the wrong holes.
"We have just toured the house," said Lizzie, finally attempting to look at him again. He appeared very agitated.
"You are not leaving?" he asked, concern filling his countenance.
"We are about to tour the garden."
Darcy stood in thought for a moment as Lizzie watched him, all the while trying to settle her feelings.
"Will you please excuse me?" he asked, and he strode off quickly, running up the stairs into his home.
Lizzie looked after him in consternation. What did he mean by running off like that? They had just begun to talk. He hadn't even asked to be made known to her relatives. She started to feel very distressed and wished again that she hadn't come. She noticed that her aunt and uncle were waiting for her with the gardener. She attempted to calm her feelings and settle her expression.
"That was Mr Darcy," She said as she rejoined them. "He has just arrived."
"Yes, the gardener informed us it was his master," said Mr Gardiner.
"He is a very handsome gentleman," said Mrs Gardiner, giving Lizzie a searching look. There was very obviously something more between them than a casual acquaintance, if the attitude of either on their unexpected meeting was anything to go by.
"He apparently did not expect to encounter tourists," said her uncle jovially. "The poor man was in such a state to get his riding jacket back on!"
Lizzie only smiled at this sally.
"We have decided on the river walk," said Mrs Gardiner, giving her husband a quelling look. "There are a number of bridges, and the gardener informs us that it is not a too strenuous walk. I know you are an avid walker but I fear I am sadly wanting in that respect."
"Nonsense, my dear," said Mr Gardiner, taking her arm. "If I am by your side, I am sure you can walk anywhere the rest of us can."
"I should love to walk by the water," said Lizzie.
They walked off together. The Gardiners kept up a lively conversation with their guide and Lizzie lapsed again into silence. It was a good thing that they followed a pathway, for she was almost completely oblivious to her surroundings. Her joy in the landscape had gone. All she could think was, why did he leave so suddenly? Where did he go? What does he think of me? Occasionally she looked back at the house, but it gave her no answers. Her aunt glanced at her, but decided to leave her be.
They crossed one bridge, and as their path curved to follow the winding stream, Lizzie noticed Mr Darcy approaching them along another path. He was walking quickly and had changed into morning dress. It suddenly struck her. He had run off to change out of his travel stained clothing! She was flooded with relief. She looked about herself and noticed the crisp ridged leaves of the beech trees, the tranquil flow of the stream, the brisk chirp of a squirrel as it ran across the path. She was stunned by the natural beauty of her surroundings that had not even registered a moment before. She and the Gardiners arrived at the next bridge just as Darcy crossed it.
"Miss Elizabeth, I am happy that I encountered you," he said. "I apologise for rushing off so suddenly. I forgot in my haste to ask which way you would be walking, so I thought of your tastes and decided that this is where I would find you."
Elizabeth thought that they were very lucky indeed, for she had nothing at all to do with the choice, though upon reflection he was very right that she would have chosen just this walk. "There is no need to apologise," said Lizzie simply.
"And how do you find Pemberley? I hope it is to your liking."
"It is above anything I had expected," said Lizzie, colouring madly.
"Would you do me the honour of introducing your friends to me? I should very much like to meet them."
"Of course. This is my aunt and uncle Gardiner. Mr Gardiner is my mother's brother." Lizzie looked at Mr Darcy to see how this information was received. That he was surprised was evident, but he very graciously shook their hands and greeted them.
"They are my relatives who live in Cheapside," she said with emphasis.
"I recall their address very well. They reside in Gracechurch Street. If you remember I sent that information to Bingley," replied Darcy, nonplussed. Here was the opportunity that he had long wished for. He would be able to prove to Elizabeth that he did not hold her connections in contempt. He had to suppress his uncomfortable urge of shyness and be outgoing with her relatives.
He dismissed the gardener and turned to join Lizzie's uncle. He spent the next fifteen minutes walking with Mr Gardiner and showing him all the best spots for fishing, and extended an invitation to him to come and fish with him the day after next.
Mrs Gardiner walked with Lizzie who was not a good companion for her because she paid more attention to the gentlemen's conversation than their own. Mrs Gardiner affected a change of partners, saying that she needed her husband's stronger arm to lean on, and Lizzie found herself walking side by side with Mr Darcy. Soon they had outstripped the older couple who were walking much slower.
After walking together in some silence Lizzie started with, "You must understand that we were informed that you were not in the country, or we should not have come. I did not wish to invade your privacy"
"I am very happy that you came today. You were a most welcome surprise."
Lizzie blushed.
"How are your family?"
"They are all well."
"Tomorrow my sister arrives. She would very much like to meet you. May I present her to you?"
"I would be very pleased to finally meet her after all I have heard of her. I am sure I shall like her excessively."
"I am sure she shall like you excessively."
"Mr Darcy, If you keep saying such things, I will not be able to keep my composure."
"Than you will have to lose your composure for I have no intention of stopping," he said smiling with utmost sweetness into her eyes. His eyes looked very green and Lizzie was afraid of losing herself in them. This would not do. She could not let herself become overset by everything he said or did.
"How long are you staying at Lambton?"
"About five days. My aunt has friends that she has not seen for many years."
"I hope you will still have time to give to the inhabitants of Pemberley."
"If the inhabitants of Pemberley would like some of our time, I'm quite certain it can be arranged," said Lizzie with a little smile.
"You are very generous."
"You are very hospitable."
They walked on in silence for a while and then Darcy asked her about her trip, and she was able to share with him her impressions of Derbyshire. They arrived at the third bridge and walked out to the middle of it, where they stopped to look at the water and wait for the others. Darcy leaned on the balustrade and looked deep into the water, pointing out trout to Lizzie. She was very close to him; occasionally her shoulder would brush his arm. Her fresh lavender scent drifted over to him. He felt that he would soon be overcome by his desire to hold her. He reached up and picked a leaf from an overhanging branch of copper beech, placed a kiss on it and tucked it into her palm, whispering her name, "Elizabeth". The temptation to take hold of her hand was great, but they were in plain view and would be alone for only a few moments longer.
She looked up at him and smiled. She held the leaf close within her hand and held her hand up to her cheek, all the while looking into his eyes, an expression of wonder on her face. It was well that her aunt and uncle arrived at that moment for she did not trust herself for what would happen next. She quickly said, "This is such a beautiful tree."
"Yes, there are only a few copper beech among the green. They hold a special place in my heart for the copper beech was my mother's favourite tree." He turned to greet Mr and Mrs Gardiner. "I apologise for walking so far ahead with your niece. I promise that on the return trip we will stay close by. If we take this path to the right it is a more direct route that is much shorter, though not as picturesque. I fear that we have gone a little too far for you today, Mrs Gardiner."
"I am not done up yet, sir, but I do believe we should return by the shorter route. I also doubt very much that there is any path on your fine estate that I would not find pleasing."
The group of four walked back together and Darcy answered all the Gardiner's many questions about his grounds and the surrounding countryside. Elizabeth was pleased to see the ease with which he got on with her relatives. When they got back to the carriage, Darcy handed her up and then reminded her of her promise to let him bring his sister to visit her when she arrived. He also reminded Mr Gardiner of the upcoming fishing excursion. Then he stood and watched as they drove away and did not return to his house until they were out of sight. The remainder of the day he spent in a semi-daze and it was not until the evening and he had finished his lonely supper that he realised he had not even approached his steward upon that matter of business.
Mr and Mrs Gardiner voiced their hearty approval of Mr Darcy on the ride back to Lambton.
"It appears you are much better acquainted with him than we had thought," said her uncle.
Lizzie admitted that she had spent more time with him and his cousin in Kent, but said little else. Neither Mr or Mrs Gardiner saw fit to press the issue because it was very evident that some very tender feelings were shared by the two young people and also that they were both very unsure of what was happening between them.
When they arrived at the Inn, Lizzie excused herself to go to her room and change for the dinner they had been invited to at the home of one of Mrs Gardiner's old friends. She closed the door and leaned against it. She opened her hand, took out the leaf and raised it to her lips. She brushed them gently against it, held it to her cheek for a moment, and then wrapped it in her handkerchief and placed it carefully into her reticule. Mr Darcy's words kept running through her head, 'there are only a few copper beech among the green. They hold a special place in my heart.' A special place in my heart.
Part the Sixteenth
The next morning was spent visiting and sightseeing. After a luncheon at the Inn, Lizzie settled down in the sitting room with a book to await her visitors. As her aunt and uncle did not expect them to arrive for a couple more hours yet, they took the opportunity of browsing the shops on the main street.
Lizzie found she could not concentrate at all on her book. She could only think of Mr Darcy; how he had looked, what he had said, what he had done. Had she read too much into his actions? And yet, how could she misconstrue them? He had said her name, twice, and hearing it had filled her with such warmth and excitement. She recollected that he always called her Miss Elizabeth rather than Miss Bennet, but somehow hearing her name on his lips without the Miss attached to it was so very intimate and endearing. And the leaf with his kiss upon it and what he had said about the trees and his heart could only mean one thing. He was not a man to flirt or play with a lady's affections. Not only his shyness would prevent that but also his sense of honour. Lizzie could see no other way of understanding his actions; he must hold deep feelings for her. She loosed the reins that had held her heart and allowed the bliss of loving and being loved to fill her.
Darcy sat with his sister in the carriage, holding her hand as she nervously looked up at him. Soon they would be in Lambton, and he would see Elizabeth. He thought back to their encounter the previous day. He had been so happy and excited and confused by seeing her so unexpectedly, that he had barely been able to control his emotions. After her initial embarrassment, she appeared to have been happy to see him as well. He knew that he had taken that extra step that showed her that he had intentions toward her. He hadn't meant to, but he had been unable to prevent himself. Her presence alone was overwhelming, her smiles were intoxicating. He had meant to go slower, to be sure of her first. Now he felt vulnerable, having exposed his heart. She had accepted the leaf, and had held it up to her cheek with such a look on her face, but there was so much confusion in the moment with her aunt and uncle so quickly returning. How would she have felt upon reflection? If she did not return his feelings, he knew she would find a way to let him know. Her reception of him at the Inn would tell him at once. If she was distant to him, he would know what to think, and he would have to comply with her wishes. But would she still want to be friends, knowing how he felt? Would he have to distance himself from her again?
The carriage stopped and yet he sat there, holding his sister's hand, overcome with apprehension. Georgiana looked up at him and smiled timidly.
"I don't know who is more nervous about this meeting, you or I, but what could possibly make you nervous?"
"I want you two to like each other so very much," answered Darcy, shaking himself out of his stupor. What a silly thing to say. They can't help but like one another. I want her to like me. Oh, Elizabeth, please love me, just a little.
Georgiana looked at her brother again. He was acting very strangely. He had been more quiet than usual since he had returned from Kent, at times appearing melancholy. Today he had greeted her in such an unsettled state, a mixture of happiness and unease, and suppressed excitement, and had insisted on introducing her at once to an acquaintance of his who he had accidentally discovered was staying in Lambton. And now this admission. Why was their liking each other of such paramount importance to him? Georgiana could not wait to meet this girl.
"Well, let us go in," she said.
Elizabeth stood up as Mr and Miss Darcy were announced. Her eyes went unbidden to Mr Darcy's face and for a moment neither could do anything but look in a glance that spoke volumes and did much to still Darcy's fears. Georgiana watched them both, and a little smile crept to her face. She had never seen her brother in love before, but there was no mistaking it. She looked at the girl who suddenly blushingly lowered her eyes and then came forward with her hand outstretched.
Darcy recollected himself and made the introduction.
"Georgiana, this is Miss Elizabeth Bennet, Miss Elizabeth, my sister, Miss Georgiana Darcy."
Elizabeth took Georgiana's hand and smiled into her eyes. They were green, but lighter than her brother's, and they held that timid flash that she had so often noticed in Mr Darcy. "I am so pleased to finally meet you. I have heard so much about you."
Georgiana smiled softly. "Does my brother talk so much of me then?"
"It is not only your brother. You have a great admirer in Miss Bingley."
"You are acquainted with the Bingleys?"
"Yes, that is how I met your brother, when he was staying with Mr Bingley in Hertfordshire."
Georgiana smiled again, but could not think what to say. Her brother had been very secretive about Miss Bennet. She knew nothing of her background, and had only just learned of where they had met. Miss Bennet, on the other hand appeared to be much better informed. I wonder that Miss Bingley mentioned nothing of her to me when I saw her in town?
Elizabeth looked over to Mr Darcy and said, "Won't you both sit down? My aunt and uncle have gone for a walk in the village but should return shortly." She had to look away again quickly as she returned to her seat. She felt helpless whenever she looked at him. All she wanted to do was rush into his arms, but instead she had to behave with utmost decorum and propriety, and she had to exert herself to entertain his timid sister when her mind was almost incapable of formulating even the simplest of sentences.
Somehow the three of them managed to keep up some semblance of conversation until Mr and Mrs Gardiner arrived. The introductions were made, and Mrs Gardiner took over the task of being hostess. Mr Gardiner sat by Darcy and they conversed about fishing together. If the latter gentleman was somewhat distracted, the former appeared not to notice it. Lizzie took herself to task and made an extra effort to enter the conversation with her aunt and Miss Darcy. She found that if she did not look towards the gentleman in question, her faculties of thought returned to her.
After half an hour, Darcy and Georgiana stood to leave. Darcy whispered something in his sister's ear and she came forward to extend an invitation for the ladies to visit her while the gentlemen were out fishing the next day, and for all of them to stay to dinner afterward. Lizzie looked at her aunt who accepted the invitation very readily. As they said their goodbyes, Lizzie offered to see Miss Darcy to her carriage. This gave her the opportunity to stand beside Mr Darcy as he handed his sister up. He then turned to her and their eyes met once again. They stood like that for some time until the impatient movement of the horses brought them back to awareness of their surroundings.
Darcy took Lizzy's hand and held it gently. "Until tomorrow." He raised it to his lips and kissed it lightly. Lizzie could not trust herself to speak, but stood with her hand pressed to her cheek and watched the carriage disappear down the village street.
The next morning Lizzie awoke filled with contentment. It was a blissful feeling to love and know that the love is returned, and Lizzie was very confident that her love was returned despite the disparity in fortune and connections. Mr Darcy was more pleasant and outgoing with the Gardiners than she had ever seen him. She wondered, not for the first time, how it was that he had cautioned the colonel against her relations and situation, and suddenly came to the realisation that he had only done it to discourage his cousin because he had feelings for her that he was unwilling to acknowledge to him. This idea made her smile and shake her head over all the heartache this had caused her. She could not feel angry with him; he had brought heartache upon himself by this action as well. Lizzie thought ahead to the visit and dinner at Pemberley, and hoped that she was now accustomed enough with the new depth of her feelings for Mr Darcy, and her understanding of his for her, that she would be able to meet him with equanimity.
Darcy went out to greet his guests with a cheerful stride and a smile that he could not suppress. He had felt so happy all morning that he had even startled his sister when she came upon him singing on his way down to breakfast. After her initial surprise, she had given him a very smug look as he had stopped abruptly and blushed deeply.
Elizabeth looked radiant as he helped her down from her carriage and he was loath to leave her after only being able to share a few words of greeting in the company of her aunt and uncle. He had held her hand a little longer than was necessary before he turned to assist Mrs Gardiner to alight, and he hoped that nobody had noticed. After escorting the ladies to the door where Georgiana was awaiting them, he joined Mr Gardiner and they strolled down to the stream and met up with Darcy's man who was carrying the fishing gear. He enjoyed Mr Gardiner's company very much, finding him intelligent and well informed, with a good humoured nature. He did not need to talk away, but was content to enjoy his fishing in silence, which suited Darcy's temperament and state of mind.
Georgiana lead Lizzie and Mrs Gardiner to the drawing room where she introduced them to Mrs Annesley, her companion. Lizzie made a great effort to talk with Georgiana and bring her out of her shyness while Mrs Gardiner and Mrs Annesley chatted on their own. Lizzie was glad to have this time with Georgiana on her own, without the distraction of her brother. They found that they shared many common interests, a love of music, books, and nature. Georgiana was not as great a walker as Lizzie, but she confessed to enjoying spending much of her time outdoors, strolling in the beautiful gardens of Pemberley.
"I understand you walked by the river when you were here last," Georgina said softly, "but were you able to also see the garden?"
"I did not have that pleasure but I would dearly love to walk in it. What I have seen from the windows is enchanting."
"Shall we go now?" Georgiana timidly suggested.
"I should like that above everything," said Lizzie.
The older ladies were invited to come, but they elected to stay indoors. Lizzie and Georgiana wandered leisurely through the gardens. Georgiana soon shed all her shyness in her enjoyment of sharing her favourite flowers and shrubs to her new friend. They walked into a sheltered grove with a bench placed under an overspreading copper beech.
"This was my mother's favourite spot," said Georgiana. "I remember coming here with her when I was a very little girl."
Lizzie sat on the bench and looked about her. "I can understand why. It is so very peaceful here."
"I come here when I feel I need her," confided Georgiana.
"You must miss her so. I can't imagine not having a mother, although with my mother! Well, I shall just say that my favourite place is a spot that I usually go to to get away from her."
They both laughed, and then Lizzie sobered, remembering that her favourite spot would never be a haven for her again. It was as if a cloud had obscured the sun. She hadn't thought about it for days and now the memory of Wickham came back to her. Why here? Why now? Please, I can't let him spoil my day.
Georgiana had also fallen quiet, thinking of what had brought her here the last time. She had needed solace from her mother for the pain she had suffered at the hands of Wickham. She knew now that he had never loved her, that he had tried to take advantage of her in the worst possible way only to hurt her brother. It was hard for her to think about it without feeling shame for her misguided infatuation, but at least she was able to see it for what it was. Infatuation and nothing more. Sitting under the tree she felt soothed and comforted.
"It is as if my mother was still her watching over me," she said tentatively.
Lizzie leant her head back and tried to still her mind, to reach the peace that she had felt upon entering the grove. She looked up through the tracery of leaves and branches, and remembered her leaf, tucked carefully into her reticule. She let the thought of Wickham ebb from her mind as she watched the leaves shift and play in the light breeze. She raised her head and saw Georgiana looking at her with concern in her gentle green eyes.
"Are you alright?"
"I had a bad memory, but I am better now. Your mother's place has worked its magic on me."
"I am so glad," said Georgiana, impulsively taking her hand. She looked into Lizzie's eyes and continued, "You have made my brother very happy."
Both girls blushed and Georgiana cast her eyes down.
"I ought not to have said that."
"It was fine for you to say it. Never be afraid to say anything to me. I do so want us to be good friends. I am very happy myself but I do not wish you to misconstrue . . . there is really nothing between us . . . I mean he hasn't . . . we are only friends." Lizzie was blushing fiercely now.
Georgina smiled. "I will say no more," she said as they both stood and resumed their walk. Yes, thought Georgiana. There is nothing between them and they are just friends. That always makes my brother sing in the morning and forget in mid-sentence what he is saying to me. I am sure Miss Elizabeth blushes for no reason constantly and looks at all her friends with her heart in her eyes.
Part the Seventeenth
When Georgiana was finished, Lizzie turned to her and said, "That was lovely."
Georgiana just smiled and collected up her music and then went over to where Mrs Annesley was talking with the Gardiners, leaving Lizzie and Darcy alone together by the pianoforte. Lizzie looked up at Darcy and smiled somewhat shyly.
He leaned towards her and said, "Thank you for your kindness to my sister."
"If I have been kind to her it is out of pure selfishness, sir," said Lizzie playfully. "Making her acquaintance has given me so much pleasure. She is a very sweet-natured girl."
"My thanking you must then be construed as selfishness as well," returned Mr Darcy with a smile, "for the delight that your response affords me."
Lizzie coloured and looked down at her hands.
"Did I tell you how much I enjoyed your playing?"
"Thank you sir, but you must own that your sister's playing is much superior. I have rarely heard music played with such taste and feeling."
"That is another thing I must thank you for. You set Georgiana so much at ease. I have never heard her play so naturally in company before. She is usually quite stiff and uncomfortable."
"She does not go in company often?" asked Lizzie.
"She enjoys being here at Pemberley with people she knows. In London she only attends family parties; as she is but sixteen she is not out yet. She is the happiest in the country but I fear it can be lonely for her with only Mrs Annesley for company. I cannot be with her as often as I would wish."
"She spent some time with you while you were visiting with your uncle."
"Yes. She is very close to our aunt and uncle. We were not the only house guests as my cousin and his wife were there, and also Colonel Fitwilliam."
Lizzie coloured at the mention of his name, remembering her last interview with the colonel. "How is Colonel Fitzwilliam?"
"His feelings were very low when we left Rosings," said Darcy, looking at her intently, "but I think it is safe to say that he is completely recovered now."
From his answer it was obvious to Lizzie that Mr Darcy knew of the proposal and refusal, and that he was giving her a direct message. She appreciated his effort to set her mind at ease regarding the colonel. "I am very happy to hear that," she said.
"There is something I want to ask you," said Darcy, for the first time appearing nervous. "Will you be at the Inn tomorrow morning?"
"My aunt and uncle have friends to visit, but I can manage to stay behind if . . ." Lizzie's voice faltered and she blushed deeply.
"Will you do that for me?" Darcy asked fervently.
Lizzie nodded her head.
Darcy reached out and touched one of her hands with his fingertip and then withdrew it quickly as he was addressed by Mr Gardiner.
"We have imposed on your hospitality too long for one day, Mr Darcy. I feel it is time we took our leave. Come Lizzie."
"Yes uncle," said Lizzie. She gave Mr Darcy a soft smile. "Thank you so much."
"It was my pleasure."
They said their goodbyes to Georgiana and Mrs Annesley, and Darcy walked out with them to their carriage. He handed the women up, giving Lizzie's hand a gentle squeeze and smiling tenderly up at her. Her face flushed with pleasure, she whispered goodnight to him a little breathlessly. He turned and shook Mr Gardiner's hand and wished both him and Mrs Gardiner a good evening, then he stood and watched the carriage drive away. Lizzie turned back and watched him as he stood there in the dusk. She braved the looks of her aunt and uncle and gave a little wave. He raised his hand in answer. She did not turn her head until they had rounded the bend and both Pemberley and its master were no longer in sight.
"Miss Darcy is a very pleasant young girl," said Lizzie, trying to divert any comments or speculations about the person that was surely uppermost in everybody's minds.
"She did display a certain quiet elegance that is not often seen in someone so young," answered Mrs Gardiner, bringing images of Lydia and Kitty to Lizzie's mind. The contrast was striking.
"She has a very caring disposition," said Lizzie, "and a love of her garden that she so willingly shared with me."
"And she plays the piano most beautifully," said Mr Gardiner. "I have rarely enjoyed a performance more."
The discussion of the music brought Mr Darcy too much to mind. While Georgiana had been playing, Lizzie had felt a powerful surge of emotion as the liquid sound had drawn him close to her until it was as if there was only the two of them and the music that embraced them. "Mrs Annesley seems a very genteel sort of woman," she said, trying to get the conversation back on course.
"Yes," said Mrs Gardiner, "and she displays a great deal of good sense and intelligence along with an open disposition which must make her a valuable companion for a girl of such a retiring nature."
Lizzie smiled in agreement and thought hard of some new subject to introduce, but Mrs Gardiner forestalled her. "You must allow me to tell you how much I like your Mr Darcy," she said.
"He is not my Mr Darcy," said Lizzie as she felt the heat rise in her cheeks.
"Oh I think he is," said Mrs Gardiner.
"He is a very fine young man," said Mr Gardiner, "and does not feel himself above his company, which is admirable for a gentleman of his position."
"He is perhaps a little quiet, like his sister, but the liveliness they both lack I'm sure you can provide."
Lizzie's discomfiture was great. She did not want to make her feelings about Mr Darcy open until he had declared himself to her, and surely that must be his reason for asking to see her in the morning. Lizzie thought again about the look in his eyes and the sound of his voice as he had said, 'will you do that for me?' so quietly and yet with such intensity of feeling, and the fleeting tough of his finger on the back of her bare hand. Her aunt and uncle allowed her to slip into a comfortable silence as they chatted quietly between themselves about their plans for the next day.
Darcy returned to his sister and she came up to him and said, "I like Miss Elizabeth very well. You shall suit admirably."
He kissed his sister lightly on the forehead and did not even attempt to deny her supposition. Their conversation for the rest of the evening was desultory. Georgiana was not brave enough to say more about her brother and Miss Elizabeth Bennet's relationship, but there was no other subject that she would have rather discussed with him, if he had been amenable to it. They soon all retired, and Georgiana gave her brother an extra long hug as she said her goodnights.
Darcy entered his bedchamber, went straight to his portmanteau and pulled open a slim drawer. He took out a small box and held it in the palm of his hand. Sitting on his bed, he opened the box, taking out a ring and holding it in the light of the candle. A deep toned emerald set in warm gold and flanked by two vivid sapphires reflected the flame's fire. It had been his mother's and his father's mother's before her. He was not sure how far back it went, but tomorrow he would bestow it upon his Elizabeth.
Morning did not come quickly enough for Darcy. He finally gave up on sleep completely as the first light burnished the sky with a pale glow that foreshadowed the coming of dawn. He sat in his window and watched the changing sky as the sun crept towards the horizon and beyond, rising from the spreading meadows and suffusing the world with its light. He dressed with care and slipped the ring box into his breast pocket, over his heart. It made an odd lump in the smooth fit of his jacket, but that was where he wanted it. The house was waking around him but it was still too early for breakfast so he strolled aimlessly through the garden, plucking a pale yellow rosebud and threading it through his button hole. He then went to the stable and ordered his horse to be made ready. He breakfasted alone, and then, as it was still much too nearly to pay a morning call, he took his horse out for a gallop across the meadows.
Lizzie rose the next morning refreshed from a night of deep sleep and comforting dreams. She could not remember any in detail, but she woke with a feeling of contentment and anticipation of seeing Mr Darcy in only a few hours. After they had breakfasted and the Gardiners were preparing to go out on their morning visits, the post came bringing with it a long awaited letter from Jane. Lizzie was able to make her excuses to the Gardiners on the grounds that she would stay home and read the letters. She hadn't managed to bring herself to tell them about Mr Darcy's proposed visit.
After they had left she made herself comfortable in the sitting room, and opened Jane's letter to read while she waited for Mr Darcy. She at first could not place her full attention to the letter as her thoughts kept travelling to a certain pair of green eyes and the gentleman who owned them. Suddenly she was caught by the disturbing turn Jane's news had taken. Talk of walks into Meryton and trimming new bonnets had been replaced with information of the most distressing kind. She had to read the first sentence three times before she could even accept that what she read was what was written on the page. Lydia had run off from Brighton with Wickham! Lizzie felt a deep stab of fear slice through her. Jane reported that they had eloped, but it could not be! Wickham had showed her his true self and not for one minute could Lizzie believe that he had any intentions of marrying Lydia. Lizzie read on, her dread building. Lydia had left a note for Colonel Forster's wife, stating their intentions, but reports that the Colonel received from his officers made him doubt Wickham had marriage plans. The Colonel had traced them to London, but not beyond. Mr Bennet had already left for the capital and wanted Mr Gardiner to join him there as soon as possible.
Lizzie dropped the letter and ran for the door, thinking nothing but she had to find her uncle. At that moment, the door opened and Darcy was announced. He stopped short when he beheld Lizzie visibly distressed with tears upon her cheeks.
"Elizabeth! Whatever is the matter?"
"My uncle! I need to find my uncle!"
"You are too distraught to go. I will have him sent for." Darcy turned in the doorway and called the servant back, asking her to run out to find Mr Gardiner.
"They were to visit the parsonage," cried Lizzie, and Darcy relayed the information. He then closed the door and took Lizzie's hand and led her to the couch.
"Is there anything I can do for you? Are you unwell?" he asked with much concern.
"No, I am well! I have just had some distressing news from home, and it is all my fault. I could have prevented it!" Lizzie broke down sobbing.
Darcy, still holding both her hands in his, said softly, "Elizabeth, please tell me what is wrong. How could you be to blame?"
"There is no hiding this news from the world. Soon everyone will know! My foolish sister Lydia has run off with Wickham! He will not marry her, and I, I who knew what he was, I could have prevented this all if I had been brave enough to tell my father, but I only thought of myself!"
"Elizabeth, how could you have known how despicable that man really is? He told you only lies, and I told you nothing in detail of my dealings with him."
"It is too terrible! Oh what will you think of me?"
"I will only think that you are the dearest most wonderful woman I have ever known. Nothing could change how I feel for you."
Lizzie looked up into his face and reflected that this would probably be the last time his eyes would look so tenderly upon her. What he had just said had touched her most deeply, but she had to be honest with him and tell him, even though it meant that she would surely lose him.
"Shortly before the militia left for Brighton, Mr Wickham encountered me when I was alone in a secluded spot."
Darcy stiffened and drew in his breath. It is starting already, thought Lizzie as shame flooded her.
"He made me a proposal that did not include marriage. That is why I am certain he has no intention of marrying Lydia. She does not have the fortune that he seeks." Lizzie faltered and looked at her hands that were still held in Darcy's firm grip.
"Tell me, Elizabeth. What else did that scoundrel do?" His voice was like ice.
Lizzie turned her head away. She could not face him. "He forced his attentions on me. He is so much stronger, there was nothing I could do to stop him, though I tried. He pressed his body against mine and kissed me. I don't know what would have happened if Mary had not come in search of me for my father. It was so shameful and disgusting. I hate the very thought of it and now you shall surely hate me!"
Darcy could not help himself. He drew her into his arms and held her close, whispering in her ear. "You are not to blame. How could you think I would hate you? Elizabeth, you are more dear to me than anything. You should not feel shame for something you had no power to prevent." She held tightly too him and let her tears flow freely. He pulled back and looked her in the eyes. "I am the one who is to blame for all this." He pulled his handkerchief from his pocket, and in doing so felt the box that was also kept there. He acknowledged with regret that the box would have to stay in his pocket. His hopes would have to be put aside.
He dried Elizabeth's eyes and said with some feeling, "My abominable family pride is the cause of all this. I blame myself not only for what happened to your sister, but also for what happened to you. I know Wickham's true nature very well, but did not make it publicly known out of respect for my father's memory and my sister's reputation. My father had no idea of Wickham's true character. He loved him to his death. Wickham could not hide his profligate ways from me. I had many dealings with him that I won't bother you with, but the worst was when he tried to elope with my sister to gain her inheritance and to revenge himself upon me."
Darcy got up and strode around the room. Elizabeth felt bereft to no longer be within the warm comfort of his arms. She remembered what Wickham had said to her about Mr Darcy, and how he would ruin her for him, and she understood more deeply why he had made the attack upon her. She could not repeat what Wickham had said to Mr Darcy; it would only increase the guilt that he was already feeling.
"You cannot accept the blame for Wickham's behaviour," she cried.
"I do not blame myself for his behaviour, only for not warning others. I am greatly at fault!"
"Then I too am as much to blame for not telling my father."
He rushed back to her side. "How could you bring yourself to tell your father such things? Who would imagine that Wickham would run off with your own sister? Did he show her any preference?"
"None whatsoever."
"You cannot blame yourself, Elizabeth, and it will serve no purpose. What remains to be done is to . . ."
Quick steps were heard in the hall and Mr Gardiner came rushing into the room, followed shortly by his wife.
Darcy stood up immediately to face Mr Gardiner who looked at the two of them in some confusion and said, "What is going on here? I was told you were unwell, Lizzie. What is Mr Darcy . . ."
"My dear," cut in Mrs Gardiner. "Calm yourself while we are told what is wrong." She went and sat beside Lizzie. "What is it my love?" she asked, stroking her hair.
Darcy wished he was the one who could be calling her 'my love' and stroking her hair, but he knew that now was not the time for that, nor for regrets nor recriminations. Now was the time for action, and he needed to take charge.
"Mr Gardiner, your niece has had some very distressing news from home. I think it would be best if you and I were to go into another room to discuss what is to be done about it while your wife comforts Miss Elizabeth." He had remembered to say Miss, thank the Lord. Now if he could convince Mr Gardiner that they needed his help. He took the arm of a stunned Mr Gardiner and lead him from the room, not failing to notice the look of thanks that Elizabeth cast him. He hated to leave her and hoped that it had shown in his face. He knew that he left her in good hands with Mrs Gardiner, but he would have preferred that the hands were his.
Mrs Gardiner and Lizzie sat in stunned silence as he propelled Mr Gardiner out of the room. No one had ever seen this side of Mr Darcy before.
Part the Eighteenth
Mrs Gardiner turned to Lizzie with an expectant look on her face.
"Oh Auntie! It is the worst possible news for our family! Lydia is lost forever!" cried Lizzie falling into Mrs Gardiner's arms. She told her everything: all the news from home, all that Mr Darcy had told her about Wickham, and all her personal experiences with Wickham.
Mrs Gardiner was shocked and distressed, but she appreciated her niece's openness and offered all the comfort in her power. Lizzie begged her to keep her confidences, and she gave her niece her promise. She did not question her on how Mr Darcy had come to be alone with her, or what type of understanding there was between them. It was obvious that the relationship between them was of a closer and more decided nature than what she had hitherto believed for Lizzie to have shared her news from home with him, and for him to be in consultation now with her husband discussing that very news. That they were secretly engaged she did not doubt.
Meanwhile, Darcy was pacing the floor in front of Mr Gardiner.
"This is very disturbing news you have related, Mr Darcy," said Mr Gardiner, his senses back in his command, "but you must acknowledge that it is a private family matter that we will handle among ourselves. It is unfortunate that you have been made aware of our troubles, but I trust in your sense of honour that this news will go no further."
"With all respect, sir, but this is very much my business," said Darcy with heightened colour. He could not tell Mr Gardiner of his feelings and desires where Elizabeth was concerned, not before he had made them known first to her and then her father, but he had other claims to the affair that he felt were equally valid. He only had to convince Mr Gardiner of this. "I have known Mr Wickham all my life. We grew up together and he was Godson to my father. My father's will left me responsible to discharge certain bequests for his future. I have had many dealings with him and have knowledge of his numerous exploits. I am at fault for not making this information as to his want of character public."
"I do not see how his behaviour is your responsibility. It appears to me that he has plagued you long enough and that you have done your duty by your father's will."
"You must allow me to help you in this. I am a very stubborn man and will not accept refusal. I am honour bound to do all that is in my power to mend this situation."
Mr Gardiner reflected that there must be more to the case than just his responsibility to his father's will. "Have you made some kind of promise to my niece Elizabeth?"
"Mr Gardiner, I am not at liberty to discuss any promises I have made or will make to your niece. Please understand me in this. We had best return to the task at hand which, in my opinion, needs to be addressed immediately. Much time has been lost already. I have knowledge of Mr Wickham and his associates in London. I do not believe you will find your niece in time without my help. I propose to leave for London as soon as humanly possible, and to track them down. When I find them I will contact you, and we can discuss all the settlements that I will need to make."
"They must be brought to marry. My niece will be lost to the world otherwise, and the rest of our family disgraced," said Mr Gardiner, giving in to Darcy's insistence.
"I shall see to it that Wickham marries her."
This was said with such vehemence that Mr Gardiner could not doubt the outcome.
They rejoined the ladies and Darcy was relieved to see that Elizabeth had regained her composure. What she had told him of Wickham had shocked him deeply. That she had kept it to herself and had told no-one until now must have increased her suffering. He held back the anger towards Wickham that was welling up inside of him. He longed to take her in his arms and comfort her once again, to hold her and never let her go, but he was able to do no more than bow over her hand with the Gardiners' watchful eyes upon him. She looked up at him searchingly with a troubled gaze, and he smiled at her, a softly tender, comforting smile that was all that was in his power to give at that moment. She returned it with a smile and a look of such warmth that lifted his spirits and gave him something to take with him and reflect upon as he set out on what was sure to be an unpleasant endeavour.
No sooner had he left the inn, than the Gardiners and Lizzie started packing their belongings. Their carriage was ordered, and notes of excuse were sent to their friends. They were down in the courtyard within half an hour, Mr Gardiner supervising the loading of the luggage, and Lizzie and her aunt boarding the carriage in haste. The trip to Longbourn was quiet and uneventful. After discussing the situation at some length there was no more to be said. Lizzie stared out the carriage window, not taking in the lovely scenery as it flew by, but wondering at what point of his journey Mr Darcy was at that moment, what thoughts were running through his head, and if he had any regrets about her. The memory of his words at the inn, and his last look before he left, filled her with comfort and warded off the prying doubts.
Jane was relieved to see them. She quickly imparted all the new information that she had, but it was really not much more than they already knew. Her father and Colonel Forster were in London, but had discovered nothing of Lydia and Wickham yet. Rumours were starting to spread throughout Meryton, and Wickham's many creditors were demanding restitution. With Bingley by her side, she was holding up quite well, and aside from her concerns for Lydia, her worries of the possible postponement of her own wedding, and the strain of dealing with her mother's hysterics, she was happy. Her Lizzie was back to aid her and comfort her.
Mrs Bennet was heard calling in distressed accents, and Lizzie sent Jane and Bingley to the garden for some respite while she and the Gardiners went up to her mother's bedchamber to be greeted by an onslaught of tears and recriminations. How could they have left her alone at a time like this, having a merry holiday when she was in such distress? What was her brother doing in Longbourn when he should be in London convincing Mr Bennet to challenge Mr Wickham to a duel, or convincing him to think of his family and not fight Wickham for he would surely be killed and leave them all destitute? They spent the rest of the day administering to her nerves and talking her out of her worries that were causing her such spasms and quiverings.
The next morning, the Gardiners took their leave. Mrs Gardiner was loath to leave Lizzie and Jane in such a trying situation, but all agreed that it would be much better for her young children if they returned to the more settled atmosphere of their home in Gracechurch Street. Amid promises that they would send news of the disgraced couple as soon as it was discovered, they went on their way. Jane and Lizzie went back to the parlour where Kitty was pouting in one corner, and Mary was studiously reading by the window.
"This example of our poor sister should be a lesson to all of us," said Mary in reproving accents. "A woman's reputation is brittle as glass. The smallest slip can destroy it forever. What our sister has done reflects on all of us. Her sin is our sin; her shame is our shame. We must cut her off from our thoughts and hold fast to our virtue. Who of you will sit and read these tracts with me so that we can spread the balm of sisterly kindness and banish the evil that has been brought upon us."
"Would you please stop!" cried Kitty. "I can't bear it any longer. I am not able to go into Meryton, mother is forever having fits, you go on and on about sin and eternal damnation, and meanwhile Lydia is enjoying herself in London!"
"Kitty!" cried Jane.
"Do not for one minute think that Lydia's position is a good one, Kitty," said Lizzie. "Mary's assessment has more credence than you give it credit. We must hope that this affair is hurriedly resolved, and that Wickham is convinced to marry Lydia, or our very reputations will suffer. Who would want to connect themselves with a family so disgraced?"
"She is to be married before any of us and it is not fair!"
"Yes, it is to be hoped she will marry. But to such a man! You can surely not be envious of her position. Instead of this bickering, I think it would be more useful to spend our time attending to our mother and easing her worries. If we can return our house to more normal activities, we shall not be such a spectacle to our neighbours. We are bound to have visitors, and we must show as normal a face as possible to reduce speculation. Jane deserves to have a more settled and relaxing time in her courtship. Mr Bingley cannot like to witness this strife every time he comes. Kitty and Mary, I expect you both to spend more time with your mother and attending to her wishes."
Jane gave Lizzie a smile of thanks, and Kitty flounced off to her mother's room. When Bingley arrived the house was restored to a closer semblance of decorum, even Mrs Phillips' visit passed without too much distress.
Darcy arrived in London determined to unearth Wickham as quickly as possible. He had to frequent the most dissolute areas of London and enter into negotiations with the lowest of characters. On the second day, Mrs Younge was unearthed and Darcy easily brought her to realise that giving him the information he desired was the most sensible course of action. The address she gave him was a very run-down boarding house. Mr Darcy climbed the dark, greasy stairway to the second floor and knocked on the scuffed door.
"Come in!" a woman's voice called.
He entered and found himself alone in a bedchamber with Lydia who was wearing a flimsy muslin housedress, her hair inexpertly tied up upon her head. She was lounging on the bed but jumped up with a giggle when she saw Mr Darcy.
"Oooh! I thought you were my darling Wickham! Whatever are you doing here Mr Darcy? This is such an honour!"
Mr Darcy gave her a look that expressed all his disgust at being there. "Collect your things at once, Miss Bennet. I will escort you to your uncle's house."
"I will do no such thing! Why should I go there with you? I am staying here; my darling Wickham will return shortly, I am sure, and then we shall be married."
"Exactly where is Wickham?"
"Oh! I do not know. With some friends playing at cards most like. He is such a good card player. He said he needed to go out and find some ready blunt. I do wish he would return, though, it is ever so boring not being able to leave this shabby little room, and the food is terrible."
"At what time did he leave?"
"La, he has been gone these two days, the silly man. Sometimes winning at cards can take so very long. But he should know that I don't care a straw if we have any money or not!"
"Two days!"
"What is two days, pray, when we shall spend a lifetime together? It is very boring though," she smiled up at Darcy through her lashes. "Would you take me to the theatre? I have begged Wickham. He says it would not do, but I would dearly love to go."
"If you do not put your things together right now and come away to your uncle's with me, I shall have to do it for you," said Darcy in a hard voice.
"You are no fun at all!"
"Now, Miss Bennet!"
"Why should you be here? Why are you taking me to my uncle's? What concern is it of yours what I do?" shot back Lydia, crossing her arms over her chest and staring challengingly back at him.
"Mr Wickham's exploits are my business. I am here to see to it that the two of you are married decently! Now get ready."
"Well, I don't see what concern it is of yours, but if you will make him marry me, I have no objection, only I don't want to go to my uncle's. They will only preach at me. It will be even more dull than this."
"You cannot stay here. The rooms have not been paid for and they are preparing to throw you out. Besides, it is no place for a lady."
"Well, thank you so very much for noticing that I am a lady. The same can't be said for the wretches than have been serving me. I think I will leave."
Lydia gathered up a few articles of clothing from the bed and the floor and threw them into a portmanteau, then she put on a little spencer and tied on her bonnet and announced that she was ready.
"Don't you have a cloak or something?"
"You are a fuss pot! Are you worried to be seen with me like this?"
I do not wish to be seen with you at all, thought Darcy, or be another moment in your company. He picked up the portmanteau and, without a word, steered her from the room, down the stairs, and into the waiting carriage. He left her with her aunt, and hurriedly returned to the same disreputable area to search out Wickham. Hopefully he had not fled the country.
Three hours later he found him in a sleazy gaming hell. Wickham was half foxed and dipping deeply, if the pile of vouchers on the table in front of the dealer were any indication of his luck at play. Before Wickham had even noticed his presence, Darcy dragged him up by his lapels and pulled him from the table.
"What the devil!" yelled Wickham.
Darcy ignored him. "How deep is he in to you?" he asked the dealer. A staggering amount was mentioned. Darcy did not even question it; he reached in his pocket and threw the bills down on the table, and then dragged Wickham out to the carriage.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?" asked Wickham, sobering up.
"You weren't going back, were you?" said Darcy, menacingly.
"Whatever do you mean?"
"You weren't going back to Miss Lydia Bennet. You were going to leave her in that dismal room, the rent unpaid, and with no money."
"I . . . well . . . you didn't really expect me to marry the chit, did you? I need a woman of fortune. You, of all people, should know that." Wickham smiled silkily. "I suppose you will not be inclined to associate with that family anymore."
Darcy's green eyes took on a steely glint. "You underestimate me, Wickham."
The carriage had been travelling through the grimy London streets all the while. The neighbourhood improved and soon they were trundling through neatly cobbled streets bordered by gracious buildings. They stopped outside one of them and Darcy turned to Wickham. This had to be said now, before they went into his house.
"I only want to say this one time," he said. "You have gone much too far this time, and I am not closing my eyes to it. For what you did to Miss Elizabeth Bennet, you should be horsewhipped, but I will not stoop to your level. Solving problems with violence does not answer. Your behaviour is unforgivable. I can not stand the very sight of you. To be in the same carriage with you fills me with revulsion, but you will not leave my side until this matter is set straight."
"I will not stand for this, you . . ."
"I did not give you leave to talk. You are not permitted to do anything but listen, and listen you must, for it is your future I am telling you. You have no choice but to do as I say. Debtors' Prison is not a very accommodating place and I do not think you will like it there. The option I am giving you is not much better, but it is my only offer. You will marry Miss Lydia Bennet. The two of you will go directly from the church to a ship bound for India. I have bought you a commission in the Indian forces. You will be stationed in Calcutta where you and your wife will live until your dying day. You will not be granted permission to return to England. If I should hear of any indiscretions on your part or of any maltreatment of your wife, you shall be incarcerated. Do not doubt that I have the power to do this. Your debts will all be settled. Your wife will bring nothing to your marriage. You will have to support the two of you on your commission alone."
"You cannot do this!"
"Would you prefer Debtors' Prison or would you chose deportation to the colonies as a convict? I am offering you a future where you will be able to live a respectable life with the wife you have already chosen. It is more than you deserve."
"Mr Bennet will not let his daughter be taken off to India."
"On the contrary. I am certain that Mr Bennet will gladly accept my terms."
"I would have preferred being run over by a beer cart and thrown down a well!"
"You may have, but I am not about to grant that wish."
Part the Nineteenth
When Mr Darcy approached Mr Gardiner and Mr Bennet with the arrangements he had made they were taken aback at first by their scope and completeness. Mr Gardiner wondered if the young man had taken too much upon himself, there was really nothing left for the rest of them to do but attend the wedding. Mr Bennet was unsure initially that the total banishment of his daughter from the country was necessary, but when he was made aware of his future son-in-law's impeachable background, and her insistence upon marrying the scoundrel, he agreed that there was no better solution than was offered to him, and at so little effort on his part. All that was required of him was to purchase the bridal clothes and a wardrobe suitable for the tropics for Lydia. His wife, he knew, would be heartbroken at not being able to attend the wedding, and never seeing her darling Lydia again, but their family honour was held intact and his other daughters would not have to suffer for their sister's disgraceful conduct.
Mr Bennet also wondered at Mr Darcy's sense of honour that had caused him to go to so much trouble to right the wrongs of his father's Godson. He was completely unaware of the recent developments between Elizabeth and Mr Darcy, and the young man in question had made sure that nothing had been given away on that score. His actions were over and above anything that Mr Bennet would have ever expected in such a situation. He had never had a poor opinion of the gentleman, but now he was enormously impressed by his strength of character and his determination.
He knew that going against what Mr Darcy had planned would have been fruitless, had he wanted to, and he was pleased that their feelings in the matter had coincided. Here was a man he would truly relish to have as a son-in-law, but of course there was no hope for that. Instead he was stuck with that wastrel Wickham. Of course he had no complaints about Bingley, he had to remind himself, and he still had three daughters left to dispose of. Kitty and Mary were not even to be considered, but his Lizzie, now there was a girl in a million. It was a pity that Mr Darcy was unaware of what a remarkable girl Lizzie truly was, because he might just be . . . Mr Bennet shook himself. Here I am thinking just like my wife! Whatever is the matter with me; the thought of his 10,000 pounds has made me lose my head. The next thing I know I shall be going distracted. But Mr Bennet had to acknowledge that the 10,000 pounds really had nothing to do with it.
The most difficult part of the whole affair for the Gardiners and Mr Bennet was dealing with Lydia's impatience to be married, her constant demands to be allowed to go out about the town, and her refusal to listen to any remonstrances or take any responsibility for her misbehaviour. Happy was the hour when the ceremony was at last completed and Lydia and Wickham entered the carriage that was to take them to their ship.
"Oh La! I am a married woman now!" cried Lydia. "Tell my mother that I will write bye and bye, and tell my sisters that they can come and stay with me in India any time and I shall find them all husbands among the officers! It is so droll that I am married before Jane! Well I shan't be seeing any of you for quite some time, I am off on my honeymoon with my own true love!" She waved and smiled as the carriage drove away.
Mr Bennet was fully embarrassed by his youngest daughter's behaviour, and was unusually sombre when he renewed his thanks to Mr Darcy and bade him farewell. He was surprised to hear Mr Darcy say that he should be seeing him soon as he was planning to visit Bingley in the next day or two. That same day Mr Bennet made the journey home. He had been away for longer than he ever had done. He missed his home and his library. He was needed on his estate; it was August now and there was much to be done to begin the harvest. He especially missed Lizzie. He also realised that he had to make an extra effort as concerned his two younger daughters. Lydia's indiscretion had given him a great scare and he was determined that Kitty and Lydia would receive more of his attention and guidance, but not without a generous serving of teasing; he was not a completely changed man!
Mrs Bennet was not quite as complacent about the marriage arrangements as her husband. She greeted him with loud complaints about how ill it had all been handled.
"Mr Bennet! How could you let that disagreeable Mr Darcy have his way! Just because he has taken a dislike to poor dear Wickham, you allow him to send my sweet Lydia and her new husband to India and now I shall never see her again. It is not to be borne!"
"I am sorry, my dear, but it was for the best," said Mr Bennet resignedly, knowing that he was going to hear much more on the topic.
"What business was it of his anyway?" asked Mrs Bennet. She turned and glared at Lizzie. "I blame you for this! How came you to tell that man of our troubles?"
Mr Bennet looked at Lizzie too. He had been wondering the very same thing.
"I knew of his relationship to Mr Wickham," began Lizzie. "Besides I was in distress and he was suddenly ushered into the room. I needed my uncle and Mr Darcy sought to help me. At the very least he deserved an explanation."
"You were alone at the time?" asked her father. "What was he doing visiting you if you were alone?"
Lizzie blushed, and looked at her father beseechingly. " The servant must have been unaware that my aunt and uncle had gone out."
Her father seemed to accept the explanation, but looked thoughtful.
Mrs Bennet continued on with her tirade. "You ought to have held your tongue! Now with his interference my Lydia is lost to me!" She started to moan.
"May I remind you my dear wife," said Mr Bennet with the utmost patience, "that without Mr Darcy's interference, we would never have found Lydia quite so promptly. She would then not only have been lost to us, she would have been lost to the world. Mr Darcy found Wickham in a gaming den attempting to earn his passage to the continent. He was about to flee the country and leave our daughter destitute in the worst slum of the city. What Mr Darcy needs from you is your gratitude, and Lizzie deserves your thanks, not your accusations, for appealing to him for help."
"Oh how am I to be happy without my Lydia?" wailed Mrs Bennet, ignoring her husband's words. "I was not even able to be at her wedding or chose her bridal clothes. To be sure it was a shabby affair. I will not forgive my brother for his officiousness, you for your weakness, and Mr Darcy for his interference!"
Mr Bennet looked to Jane and Lizzie. "Could you girls please take your mother to her room? It will take her some time to accept this situation. After you have made her comfortable, will you come and see me, Lizzie? I will be in my study." He sighed and left the room.
Lizzie thought that her father looked weary, both physically and emotionally. He was as much affected by the whole affair as her mother, but bore it in a very different manner. She asked Mary to see about some tea for the dear man, then she helped Jane calm their mother and take her to her bedchamber. They drew the curtains to darken the room and lay her on her bed. Jane began bathing her forehead with Lavender water while Lizzie removed her slippers and covered her with a light spread. There was a quiet knock on the door and Kitty tiptoed in.
"Jane, Mr Bingley has come. What are we to do?"
"Tell him I need to nurse my mother," said Jane anxiously as Mrs Bennet began to moan and grasp her hands.
"No," said Lizzie. "Jane must go down, and as my father needs me it is up to you, Kitty, to look after mother."
Kitty was taken aback and made as if to leave the room, but Lizzie caught up to her and said in a low voice, "Do you think Jane and I administer to our mother's needs because we would rather do nothing else? It is time you thought of others and not just yourself. Do not cry, it is as much Jane's and my fault as it is your own. We have always let you do as you wished because you were younger. Now we need your help."
"Cannot Mary? I am not good at calming mama," said Kitty.
"You will do well. She only needs someone by her to bathe her head or give her her salts."
Kitty assented, and Jane and Lizzie were able to leave the room. Mr Bingley greeted them with a look of concern as they entered the parlour. He went swiftly to Jane's side and spoke to her in a soft voice. Lizzie was happy to see Jane's spirits lift just at the sight of him. She took a cup of tea for her father from Mary and excused herself. She tapped at the study door and entered, placing her father's tea on the desk before him and dropping a kiss on his forehead.
"You look done in, papa. You must get some rest."
"This has been a very trying few weeks," said her father. "I have been taught a good lesson by all of this and now realise what a shameful father I have been. I should have listened to you Lizzie, when you said not to let Lydia go to Brighton, but all I wanted was peace in my home for myself. How is it that you were so wise?"
"I did not trust Wickham," said Lizzie, "but I never foresaw anything of this nature, I can assure you."
"And I do not blame you, my dear, for telling Mr Darcy about our troubles, but I do wonder at it. I had not thought you were on such terms with the gentleman as to be visiting him, and he visiting you."
Lizzie blushed and quickly explained to her father how she had seen more of him in Kent, and of the accidental meeting in Pemberley.
"He wanted to introduce his sister to us and invited us to dine. He was excessively civil and hospitable to us," she said simply.
Mr Bennet nodded. "That is what the Gardiners told me. I was quite taken with him you know," he said, eyeing Lizzie carefully. "When he was in the neighbourhood visiting with his friend, I know that he was thought of as being a very proud and disagreeable man. I had always thought him reserved, and I remember you had concluded that he was merely shy. I must say that on seeing him in London he struck me as nothing short of commanding. I find him most intriguing. Quite an interesting character for study, don't you think?" He looked at Lizzie speculatively.
Sensing some sort of suspicion on her father's part, Lizzie tried to control her emotions and not blush at the very mention of Mr Darcy, but it was difficult for her not to look conscious. It pleased her that her father's opinion of him was so positive, but she did not wish to give her feelings for him away. "I know I have some sort of reputation as a studier of character," she said carefully, "but I have many other interests."
"But when such a fine specimen for study is before you, how can you resist?" Mr Bennet teased. This time Lizzie did colour, and her father decided to have mercy on her. "You may go now, my dear, and chaperone your older sister. I do not think Mary is quite up to the job." He motioned to the window. Jane and Bingley were strolling in the garden arm in arm, and very close indeed, while Mary sat on a bench, her head deep in her book. "It is a good thing there is less than a month to the wedding," he laughed.
The next morning, Mr Bennet announced to Mary and Kitty that he had made a resolution regarding them. "I feel that I have not been a strict enough parent with you girls. Kitty, there will be no more running after the officers, and Mary, you will be expected to go out into society more. You girls will neither of you be allowed to go to another ball unless you stand up with one of your sisters!"
"Oh papa, you are too cruel!" cried Kitty bursting into tears.
"There, there," said Mr Bennet, "if you are a good girl Kitty, I will review the matter in ten years."
Kitty started to cry all the more and Mr Bennet went over and patted her on the head. "After all these years, Kitty, I would think you should know me by now," he said in a gentle voice. "You must recognise when I am teasing or we shall never get along."
"You were only teasing?" Kitty looked up at her father and dried her eyes.
"Of course. Do you think I still expect you to be living at home in ten years? Your mother will have married you off by then, and how is she to accomplish that if you will not dance?"
Kitty smiled at her father and gave him a hug.
"However, you must believe me to have been speaking the truth when I said that I do not want you chasing after officers."
"They are all gone from Meryton now anyway," said Kitty reasonably.
"From now on I mean to spend more time with the two of you," Mr Bennet continued. "We will meet in my study everyday and read together."
"Oh papa," said Mary, "that is quite providential for there are so many passages in Fordyce's Sermons which I think would be very beneficial to Kitty, indeed to us all!"
"Mary," said her father sternly. "There will be no Fordyce's Sermons read. I rue the day that the volume ever found its way into your hands. No, we shall read no reproving works. We are going to read a novel."
"Papa!" said Mary in astonishment. Kitty smiled with pleasure.
Jane and Lizzie were sitting over in one corner of the room, stitching some of smaller items for Jane's trousseau. Lizzie smiled to see their father take a greater interest in her younger sisters. Mrs Bennet was still up in her room, but quite recovered from her hysterics of the previous day. Now her nerves were overset with the vast amount of preparations necessary for Jane and Bingley's wedding. With her lying abed, Jane and Lizzie were able to get ever so much more accomplished.
Jane looked over to Lizzie and exclaimed, "I have forgotten to tell you the news that Charles has given me!"
"Well do not keep me in suspense by announcing news and then going no further," Lizzie teased.
"Mr Darcy and his sister are arriving at Netherfield today, and will be visiting us this evening."
Lizzie blushed full red. Mr Darcy was coming! He would be here, in the sitting room this very evening! She thought back to the last time they had been together, when he had held her in his arms and comforted her. She remembered his words, 'you are the dearest, most wonderful woman I have ever known . . . Elizabeth, you are more dear to me than anything.' He had said them to give comfort, she knew, but could he still mean them after all he had to go through on her family's behalf, meeting with both Wickham and Lydia and who knows how many sordid characters in the most dreadful environs? She hoped against hope that he still cared for her. She remembered his tender looks, the leaf he had kissed which she still cherished, and his happiness in her company, and she could not doubt him. She allowed herself to think of him as she had not thought of him in the last two weeks except in the darkness of her bedchamber as she drifted off to sleep.
"Lizzie, Lizzie," called Jane. "You are not attending. I was speaking of Miss Darcy who I long to meet. I know that you met her at Pemberley, but we have barely spoken of it with all that has been going on."
Lizzie collected herself with some effort. "She is a very sweet, shy girl. You cannot help but love her, but we must take care not to overpower her with our noisy, boisterous family. We are not quite what she is used to."
"Well, Lydia is no longer with us to be an influence on Kitty's behaviour, and hopefully mama will be too much in awe of Mr Darcy to berate him."
Lizzie applied herself to her sewing. Mrs Bennet came down from her room and went into paroxysms when she discovered that they were to have visitors that evening, and just who those visitors were to be. Mr Bennet warned her that the only display she would make before Mr Darcy was one of gratitude and thanks, so she took the liberty of immediately venting the feelings that she would not be allowed to show later on. He fled to his study, asking Kitty and Mary to join him in an hour's time.
As he sat down to dinner that evening, Mr Bennet remarked on how well his time had been spent with his two younger daughters.
"I had used to think them the two silliest girls in England," he announced, "but now I am obliged to admit that there exists the possibility of there being sillier girls even than them." Kitty and Mary smiled at him.
"Oh Mr Bennet," cried Mrs Bennet," how you do go on! I think our girls are the smartest in the neighbourhood, and the most beautiful. Why, even Mary is starting to look quite pretty, and if she would pay more attention to her hair I believe I will not have to despair of finding a husband for her!"
When they repaired to the drawing room. Lizzie began to feel nervous. Mr Darcy would soon arrive and she would have to face him in front of her family, her first time seeing him since he had held her in his arms at the inn. She was afraid that she would show too much emotion and give herself away before them, or that she would hide her feelings too well and leave Mr Darcy uncertain about her love for him. She sat and listened for the first sounds of the visitors' arrival, and as they were announced she still did not know how she would react. When Mr Darcy entered the room and their eyes met all thought of what she would do or say fled. There was only that moment and the gentle green glow of his eyes as they rested upon her face. He smiled at her softly and then went on to greet her parents and present his sister to them. Her eyes never left him. Finally he brought Georgiana to sit by her side, while her father claimed his company.
Luckily Mrs Bennet was too awe-struck to say much at first. Lizzie was able to make Georgina known to her sisters and to encourage them all to talk together. Lizzie found herself floating in the same euphoria as she had done at Pemberley where just a look from Mr Darcy would leave her bereft of speech, her mind blank. And though he was talking with her father, he could not prevent his eyes from drifting in her direction.
As refreshments were offered around, Mrs Bennet turned to Mr Darcy and addressed him somewhat stiffly, "I understand I have to thank you, Mr Darcy, for your assistance in bringing about my dear Lydia's marriage to dear Mr Wickham."
Mr Darcy nodded and looked quite embarrassed. "Do not mention it Mrs Bennet."
"It is a pity she is to be settled so far away. I find it hard to feel grateful for that," said Mrs Bennet with a sniff, and she dabbed at her eyes.
"There now my dear," said Mr Bennet. "Enough has been said about our deep gratitude to our guest. We will forever be in his debt, but we are embarrassing the poor man by continually bringing it up. Let us talk instead about the coming wedding between our sweet Jane and Mr Bingley."
Mr Darcy gave Mr Bennet a look of thanks and then politely asked Mrs Bennet about the arrangements for the upcoming wedding. Mrs Bennet discovered with surprise that she was able to talk quite cordially and at great length to Mr Darcy on such an uncompromising subject, and by the end of the evening found that she bore him very little ill will, if indeed any at all.
The evening was too soon over and Lizzie had not even had the opportunity for one short conversation with Mr Darcy, though her mind at been on nothing else but him since he had entered the room. Arrangements were made for the three to visit again in the morning and partake of a walk to Oakham Mount with the four sisters. This was to be Lizzie's consolation for the evening, the sure chance of being able to walk by his side and speak with him the next day. She smiled at him as he bowed over her hand in farewell and the look that he gave her caused her pulse to quicken. The touch of his hand on hers stayed with her long after he had left. She soon went silently up to her room, her mind already on the morrow, weaving scene over scene as she readied for bed and drifted off to sleep.
Mr Bennet sat in his study late into the night. He was about to lose his Lizzie; that much was obvious. He had seen the tender looks that passed between her and Mr Darcy throughout the visit, and had sensed the tension in the air. All that remained was to be solicited for her hand. He sighed. At least there was the consolation that he couldn't have chosen better for her himself.
Part the Twentieth
The next morning Darcy awoke filled with nervous apprehension. Today was the day he would finally propose; he would contrive to be alone with Elizabeth somehow as the party walked to Oakham Mount. And though he could not doubt by proof of her looks and her smiles that she would have him, there existed an unreasonable fear that he was completely mistaken. His hands shook as he arranged his neck-cloth. He had to discard three before he was happy with the result. He took up the small ring box and placed it again in his breast pocket, and then went downstairs. Before he joined the others in the breakfast parlour, he slipped outside for a brisk walk in the park. There was a certain tree he was searching for.
Breakfast was a quiet affair with Darcy visibly distracted and Bingley's head up in the clouds. Georgiana sighed. Gentlemen in love did not make the best companions, unless one was the object of their love. Before long she would be with the Bennets and she looked forward to the experience immensely. All the sisters were so warm and welcoming; they had none of the airs of the other young ladies of her acquaintance. She delighted in the teasing and laughter that accompanied their conversation. Today she would try to join in more herself. The shyness she usually felt with other friends, like the Bingley sisters, seemed to disappear with the Bennet girls' open friendliness.
Bingley called for his carriage and the party went out onto the cobbled sweep to wait for it. The day was fine and fresh. The blue of the sky, the warmth of the morning sun, and the light breeze did much to dispel the tension that Darcy had felt since waking. He felt like throwing his arms out and revelling in the joy that this feeling of ease brought him. He stood and gazed up into the cloudless sky, lost in appreciation of the wonders of the world, when the sound of hoof-beats on the drive caused him to turn and look. It was a lone rider. As he came closer it was apparent from his dress that he was delivering the post. He pulled up, out of breath.
"Express for Mr Darcy," he announced, holding out a slim letter.
Darcy's face froze. What could this mean? He turned it over and immediately recognised the seal. He reached in his pocket and drew out some coins which he handed to the young man.
"Thank you. There will be no reply."
He excused himself from Bingley and Georgiana and went a few paces away to read the missive. It was just as he had feared, and there was nothing for him to do but act immediately. He felt a deep disappointment at having to go now, when he was so close to fulfilling his dream, but his dream would have to wait again.
The carriage had been brought up and Georgiana and Bingley walked hesitantly towards it. Darcy returned to them.
"I am being called away," he said heavily. "Bingley, could you please order my carriage? Georgiana, I have a favour to ask you. Could you wait about five minutes."
"What is it?" asked Georgiana in consternation.
"There is no need for alarm, but there is a pressing matter I must attend to at once. I will tell you about it on my return."
"But I will have to go with you!" cried Georgiana, crestfallen. She had been so looking forward to visiting her new friends.
"You have no need to accompany me. Stay here and enjoy yourself. It is better that I go alone."
"But Fitzwilliam," whispered Georgiana, "you must recollect that Mrs Annesley did not come with us. I cannot stay alone here with only Mr Bingley." She blushed at the thought of committing such an impropriety.
"Blast!" Darcy uttered vehemently, then he noticed Georgiana's shocked expression. "You must excuse me. But what is to be done? I want you here, not back in London."
"And I want to be here."
Bingley finally managed to get their attention. They both looked at him; it was obvious he had something important to impart. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I don't see that there is a problem at all. Georgiana can surely go with me as far as Longbourn without compunction. She can spend the day with the Bennets, and in the evening my sisters are due to arrive!"
"Thank goodness!" said Georgiana joyfully.
"I will be right back," said Darcy as he rushed into the house. He went directly to the library and sat at the desk, drawing forth a page of crisp vellum. His note was composed swiftly. He blotted it and then reached into his breast pocket and drew forth a leaf. Darcy pressed it to his lips and gazed at it softly for a moment then he placed it in the middle of the note and folded the paper around it. A few moments later he slipped it into Georgiana's hand as he helped her into the carriage. He spoke quietly into her ear.
"Please see that Miss Elizabeth gets this." Turning to Darcy, he said in a level voice, "Please make my apologies to Mr and Mrs Bennet and the rest of the family. Tell them I was unavoidably called away." He hesitated and looked about to say more, but instead stepped back from the carriage with a wave to his sister and a look on his face that spoke of all his disappointment at not being able to accompany them.
In ten minutes he had packed his portmanteau and was driving his curricle at top speed over the road to London. He did not want to push his horses, but he had fifty miles of good road to cover, not to mention an important stop in London, which might take some time.
"Make haste girls, make haste! They are here! They are here!" cried Mrs Bannet, working herself into a tizzy.
"If you fly about like this every time Bingley comes," observed Mr Bennet, "you will not survive the courtship."
"It is not just Mr Bingley!" his wife cried. "You must know that Mr Darcy has ten thousand a year."
"I thought you hated the very sight of him."
"Hate Mr Darcy after he saved our dear Lydia? Mr Bennet, what do you take me for?" Mrs Bennet paused for a breath and then continued. "I am thinking he might well fall in love with one of our girls if he is to visit with his friend until the wedding. I hope Kitty has put something nice on. I will tell her to be very attentive to him on the walk."
Mr Bennet just smiled.
"Girls! Come and sit in the parlour. You must be ready to greet our guests!"
They all ran down the stairs at their mother's summons. Lizzie felt her heart fluttering in anticipation. Her eyes were bright and her cheeks were aglow.
As they seated themselves, Jane thought she had never seen Lizzie in better looks. She knew that Lizzie had been keeping something from her, and now Jane had a suspicion what it could be. She had acted strangely the night before and today she appeared to be filled with what could only be called joy. Jane was sure the joy was not solely due to her pleasure in continuing her acquaintance with Miss Darcy.
Mary peered out the window. "Mother, there are only two of them. That other gentleman is not with them!"
Mrs Bennet ran to look out the window, lamenting all the while. Lizzie felt like her world was falling in. Her face turned white and she grasped the arm of the settee for support. Not one coherent thought entered her brain, which seemed to whirl in a downward spiral that left her feeling ill with despair.
Jane was quickly at her side, stroking her hand. "There will be a good reason for his not coming. Lizzie, please, look at me."
Lizzie stared at Jane blankly and fought to compose herself, though now her mind was screaming at her, 'He does not love me.'
"I feel suddenly ill. I must excuse myself," she whispered, and she struggled to get to her feet, but her legs would not respond. The next moment, the visitors were announced.
Barely had they entered the room when Mrs Bennet cried, "Wherever is Mr Darcy? I made sure he was coming too!"
Miss Darcy blushed at being so brusquely greeted, and Bingley answered with his usual cheerfulness.
"Mr Darcy sends his apologies, Ma'am. He was unavoidably called away on very important business just as we were about to set out. He was disappointed not to be able to join you today."
"So business is more important to him than his social obligations?"
"Mother!" said Jane, still holding Lizzie's hand and squeezing it with reassurance. "The business must have been of a very important nature for Mr Darcy to have broken today's engagement. It is no slight to us."
Georgiana smiled her thanks to Jane, and looked fixedly at Elizabeth who appeared to be in distress of feeling. "He was not happy to go. He would very much have preferred to come here, I assure you."
"That might well be," said Mrs Bennet, "but these rich young men seem to feel they can just come and go as they please, with no thought to others!"
"Mama," said Lizzie in a quiet, deliberate voice. "That is unkind. Mr Darcy is always most considerate."
Mrs Bennet glared at Lizzie and was about to say something cutting, but then quickly thought better of it. Miss Darcy was here after all, and being friendly to her was surely a route to her brother's heart. It would be important to keep in her good graces.
"I must apologise, Miss Darcy. I allowed my disappointment to overset my reason. Your brother is a fine young man and he may go away on business whenever he chooses."
After such an inauspicious start, the visit could only improve. Georgiana decided that it would be best to wait until they were out of doors to give her brother's note to Elizabeth. She wanted to give it to her immediately because her spirits were so subdued, but she knew what the result would be if Mrs Bennet's eagle eye should chance to see her present the note. As soon as they entered the lane, Georgiana asked Lizzie to name a flower that she noticed growing in the hedgerow. While Lizzie leaned in to get a closer look, she whispered in her ear.
"Please take this note from my brother." She slipped it into Lizzie's hand, blushing slightly, and then rejoined the others.
Lizzie opened the note with some trepidation. 'What if he is telling me that all he said to me was out of friendship, and for comfort, and meant nothing more?' Her hands shook as she unfolded the creamy sheet and something fluttered to the ground. She knelt down and searched through the long grass, and pulled forth a leaf. Her heart was high in her chest; a tingling feeling ran across her breastbone. It was not just any leaf, it was from a copper beach, and Lizzie knew that he had held it to his lips. Her expression softened as she cradled it in her hand. She was suffused with a warm and mellow feeling. The note flipped from her other hand as a light breeze caught it. She scrambled after it and looked at the carefully written words. As her first love note, it was neither romantic nor tender, but it told her all she needed to know for now, and it touched her heart as deeply as any passionate display of affection could.
Elizabeth
I do not want to leave, but I must.
I am honour bound to fulfil a promise.
It is a mission that cannot wait.
I will return in three days.
Until then
FD
As she read it, she could read all the words that were not there, but that were hidden behind the words on the paper, that were kissed upon the leaf. All her fears were banished, her hopes renewed. She lovingly folded the note around the leaf, pressed it to her cheek, and then hid it in her pocket. With a carefree heart and a light step, she ran to catch up with the rest of the group.
Darcy had changed his horses in London, but the new pair was starting to flag. It had taken longer than he had expected in London. He had been misdirected twice, as the person he was looking for was in the middle of his normal workday and doing rounds, but he had finally tracked him down, and that business had been settled expediently, to the satisfaction of both. He was nearing his destination, so he saw little need to push the horses. If he arrived in one half an hour or an hour now made little difference. The scene would have been ongoing for the whole day and he just hoped it had not been to distressing. He ruminated over the best way to tackle the problem for a positive outcome, without having to resort to deceit. Perhaps arriving this late would work to their advantage.
And as these thoughts turned in the surface of his mind, deep down he was thinking of his Elizabeth. How had she felt when he hadn't arrived? Did his note serve to ease her mind? It had been so terse, so dry. But it had to have been, lest it had fallen into the hands of one of her parents or sisters. He would not have her put through discomfort because he could not resist temptation, not for anything. He hoped fervently that she had been able to pick his thoughts out from between those words, and that the leaf had meant to her what it meant to him.