I Saw Jane Kissing Santa Claus

Posted on Thursday, 25 December 2003

Dearest Jane,

I have written this letter in much haste, feeling that as one of my dearest acquaintances in the country, I owe you the firsthand knowledge of some information concerning our stay in this house. Mr. Hurst, Louisa, Mr. Darcy, and I have just resolved to follow my good brother into town this very day. We mean to dine at Grosvenor Street, where Mr. Hurst has a house. I do not pretend to regret anything I shall leave in Hertfordshire, except your society, my dearest Jane; but we will hope, at some future period, to enjoy many returns of that delightful intercourse we have known, and in the meanwhile may lessen the pain of separation by a very frequent and most unreserved correspondence. I depend on you for that.

When my brother left us yesterday, he imagined that the business which took him to London might conclude in three or four days; but as we are certain it cannot be so, and at the same time convinced that when Charles gets to town he will be in no hurry to leave it again, we have determined on following him thither that he may not be obliged to spend his vacant hours in a comfortless hotel. Many of my acquaintances are already there for the winter; I wish I could hear that you, my dearest friend, had any intention of making one in the crowdĦ but of that I despair. I sincerely hope your Christmas in Hertfordshire may abound in the gaieties which that season generally brings, and that your beaux will be so numerous as to prevent your feelings of loss of the three of whom we shall deprive you.

As to the rest of the party, Mr. Darcy is impatient to see his sister; and, to confess the truth, we are scarcely less eager to meet her again. I really do not think Georgiana Darcy has her equal for beauty, elegance, and accomplishments; and the affection she inspires in Louisa and myself is heightened into something still more interesting, from the hope we dare to entertain of her being hereafter our sister. I do not know whether I ever before mentioned to you my feelings on this subject; but I will not leave the country without confiding them, and I trust you will not esteem them unreasonable. My brother admires her greatly already; he will have frequent opportunity now of seeing her on the most intimate footing; her relations all wish the connection as much as his own; and a sister's partiality is not misleading me, I think, when I call Charles most capable of engaging a woman's heart. With all these circumstances to favour an attachment, and nothing to prevent it, am I wrong, dearest Jane, in indulging the hope of an event which will secure the happiness of so many?

But, I fear that I have written too much and wasted away your precious morning. I will put my pen away now and wish you well.

Most affectionately,
C. Bingley

Gracechurch St., London
November 29, 18

Dear Sister,

I received your distressing letter but a few days ago. Please forgive my neglect. It is a shame that Jane's good friend should quit Netherfield so abruptly without any intention of returning this winter. I sincerely hope that she will not be terribly dispirited.

Now, I have some distressing news of my own. My dear husband has found himself in the middle of some very trying business. It does not look like we shall have the pleasure of traveling down to see you for the holidays. It is with much regret that I write this. I assure you that we have considered every possible means with which to free ourselves, but to no avail. One little scheme, however, has crossed my mind and dear Edward is of the same mind. If Jane is quite up to the journey, then we should like to have her for ourselves this Christmas. Lizzy might come too, if she likes, but I think she will see enough of us when we travel to Cumbria this summer, and I doubt Mr. Bennet will gladly spare her. Do send Jane.

Margaret and Harriet get on well, though poor Meg detests the piano. Thomas is over his cold and bids me inform you that he has lost another tooth. Master James sends his compliments to your family and wishes to tell you that he has his first silk cravat. I will not give him any wine.

In closing, arrangements will be made to get Jane here, if you will allow it. We are eager to see her.

Your loving sister,
M. Gardiner

"Oh, Jane, Jane! Come here, quick! Your Aunt Gardiner has just sent us the most wonderful news!" Mrs. Bennet cried joyously.

Elizabeth and Jane joined their enraptured mother in the drawing room. "What is it, Mama?" Elizabeth asked immediately. Jane took a seat beside her mother.

"Oh, such news! Sister Gardiner has written to tell me that she and her family will not be coming for Christmas!" Mrs. Bennet positively beamed with pleasure.

The two young women were rather puzzled by their mother's glee and very anxious about the circumstances that would keep their beloved aunt away. "But, why do you look so cheerful, Mama. Surely, you would want our Aunt and Uncle Gardiner here with us? Tell us what keeps them from paying their visit." Jane begged.

"Don't be silly, Jane, of course I want them to come! Your uncle is in the middle of some tedious business or other. If he is not sensible to quite the whole thing, that is his choice. But, some good is to come of it!" The sisters glanced knowingly at each other. Satisfied that she had their attention, Mrs. Bennet continued, "your aunt is good enough to have invited the both of you to Gracechurch Street for Christmas! What a splendid thing for you, Jane! For, you might catch a glimpse of Mr. Bingley, and then he may come around to proposing marriage! I am sure that he is not too proud to call on old friends, even if it is in Cheapside, though we cannot expect him to be accompanied by that loathsome Mr. Darcy (which is by no means a pity). Well, see, Jane, all is not lost!"

Elizabeth had started at the sound of Mr. Bingley's name while Jane turned pale. The name had not been mentioned between them for what seemed like ages. Fortunately, Jane still was master enough of herself to be able to keep from doing something silly and tragic, like fainting. Instead, she said calmly,

"That is very king of Aunt Gardiner. If you have no objection, then I confess to be very willing to see London again."

Elizabeth, as always, recovered quickly from her surprise and was filled with excitement at the prospect of traveling to London for the holidays.

"Oh course you shall go, Jane, and I with you! Why, I almost feel as giddy as Lydia whenever she crosses paths with an officer." She laughed gaily at Jane's startled expression. "Well, perhaps not quite as much. But, I shall be quite happy to see Aunt Gardiner."

"And see her you shall, m'dears! I am sure your father will not object. You have spent enough Christmas's with us; I am sure we can do without you."

"Do without whom, Mama?" Kitty asked as she entered the room with Lydia.

"Your two sisters have been asked to stay with the Gardiners in London for Christmas!" Mrs. Bennet told Kitty as she made for her writing desk.

"You mean that they are not to come here?" Kitty pouted. Elizabeth replied that they would not.

"Well, that means that there will be more room at the table for officers, and that I get Wickham all to myself, won't it!" Lydia giggled obscenely.

When applied to, Mr. Bennet announced that he had no objection to sending the girls away, if the Gardiners wanted them. However, he would be sorry to lose Lizzy and didn't see that the invitation really applied to her.

"Your sister does write that Elizabeth may come, but it's Jane she wants, clearly. Perhaps we should only send Jane. Besides, I've already been deprived of the company of your sensible brother. What, will I be surrounded by the silliest girls in England without a sympathetic soul about me? No, Lizzy, I would suggest (though I will not stop you from going) to stay at home."

Elizabeth considered this, and owing that she would have her own trip to Kent soon enough (not to mention the Lakes in the summer), she soon resolved on not going with Jane. This, however, was completely out of the question as far as Jane was concerned. For, if Lizzy were not there, she would not go herself. And, this, of course was out of the question as far as Lizzy was concerned.

"Jane, you really must go." Elizabeth insisted. "Aunt and Uncle Gardiner are expecting and want you to come so badly. I know your spirits are low, dear. I see it every day. The hustle and bustle of London will help you forget your troubles for a time."

"Lizzy, I'd rather not. I fear that I may feel worse knowing that he is in the same city but so wholly beyond my reach. I shall never see him and feel it every moment." Jane whispered.

"Then you are determined not to give our aunt pleasure?" Elizabeth pressed.

"No, indeed. I certainly do not determine to do that. But, you are right. Perhaps I think too much of my own feelings."

"Oh, Jane, no one would ever accuse you of that!" Elizabeth cried.

"However, I shall certainly not go unless you are there to help me be cheerful!" Jane finished with a grin. Jane certainly was meek, but she was no push-over.

"But, Jane, the invitation was for you!" Lizzy argued.

"You were included! Please, Elizabeth, I can't go by myself. Promise me you'll come!" Jane pleaded. After several more pathetic pleas, Elizabeth relented and promised to go with her sister.

The travelers arrived at the door of the Gardiners home late on evening and were ushered in by their aunt.

"Come in, come in! Bless you, your both frozen stiff. Sit in the small parlor with the children while I see to your trunks." She commanded after embracing each of her nieces.

Jane and Elizabeth found their little cousins crowded quietly onto one couch near the fire. Elizabeth wondered what could keep such young children, in such close proximity, so quiet. But, the timid expression on their faces soon reminded her of how shy she used to be at their age. In fact, it wasn't long after the two had entered the room that the little boys began to squirm and torment their sisters. However, a look from Jane was all that was required to calm them again.

The house had not yet been decorated for the holidays and the children began to tell their cousins about their plans for it when Mrs. Gardiner returned.

"Well, have you warmed up? James, go ask Cook to bring something out for our guests." The boy obeyed his mother immediately. "I am so sorry your uncle isn't home yet to greet you, but that faulty trade business had really set him back. At least, he had tomorrow to help us decorate after church."

"Oh, yes, the children were just telling us about it! It seems we've arrived just in time." Elizabeth replied.

"Certainly, you have! I've ordered some evergreens and holly. Lord knows if they'll actually show up. The children have helped me make some paper decorations and I believe father has looked into a tree for this year." At this, the girls' and boys' eyes lit up with excitement and young Harriet clapped her hands together. "It is a great thing, you know, to have a tree. Edward would never hear of it since the first year of our marriage; we nearly burned the parlor down, along with the rest of the house. But, I am a much better house-keeper now than I was then, and I do not believe that we will be using candles this year."

At last, the morning came and the family was gathered around the table for breakfast. Uncle Gardiner was with them and looked quite worn out.

"Today, however, we shall forget all those trifles and have a bit of merriment." He told his family. "But, first, we must set aside some time for the Lord. Come, children, it is time for church."

And they went, bundled up in their bright holiday colors; it is a custom in fine weather (though a little chilly) to walk to church on Sundays. In the lead, Uncle Gardiner escorted his wife while the governess grasped the hands of the two youngest, behind. Jane and Elizabeth kept a watchful eye on Master James who eyed the snow, threatening to push his sister Meg into it.

All arrived safely, having not been pushed into the snow, and warmed themselves by a small fire before sitting in the family pew. Other members entered likewise and filled the pews around them. Since the minister had not arrived yet, Elizabeth took the liberty of looking around at the different people who appeared through the doors. Then, having scanned the pews behind her and finding no faces with which she was familiar, Elizabeth turned back to face the front only to gaze directly into a panorama of shiny, white teeth. After blinking a few times, she refocused and found that Mr. Bingley stood before her, beaming at Jane and herself.

"M-Mr. Bingley," she heard Jane stammer.

"Miss Bennet, Miss Elizabeth, I am so pleased, that is, I am really surprised to meet you in London. I suppose these people are friends of yours?"

"Oh-oh, yes, Mr. Bingley, this is my Aunt and Uncle Gardiner, and their family. we are staying with them on Gracechurch Street." Elizabeth answered, trying to spare Jane the embarrassment of answering herself. Indeed, she had never seen Jane so discomfited in her life.

"Indeed?" Mr. Bingley asked gleefully, as he bowed in their direction. "How splendid! You'll be spending the holidays together I expect, but of course you are! I hope we shall have the pleasure of meeting again before you leave." Jane quietly thanked him and he returned to his pew where the Hursts and Miss Bingley sat. None of them seemed to notice the Bennets. Elizabeth was kept from further observation by the entrance of the minister and the beginning of the first hymn.

When the sermon had closed and a benediction given, the family rose to leave. The Hurst's walked past them, followed by Miss Bingley, without so much as a glance.

"Merry Christmas, Mr. Gardiner, Mrs. Gardiner." Mr. Bingley bowed lithely and beamed at the children as they passed. Jane stopped before him and offered her hand. Taking it, he said, " And I shall hope to call on you soon if it not inconvenient."

"No, certainly not, that is, I am sure my aunt would be very pleased to welcome you"

"And so would we!" Elizabeth added quickly.

"And merry Christmas." Jane blushed.

"And you." He replied. They stood for a few moments without saying anything and Lizzy pushed them forward.

"Come, Jane, they'll be half-way home by now."

"Can I offer you the use of my carriage?" Bingley asked.

"Oh, no, we always walk when we're here." Jane told him. Elizabeth sighed with exasperation. "Farewell, Mr. Bingley."

The two Bennets walked briskly to keep warm though the wind penetrated through their petticoats.

"You know, Jane, a carriage ride would not have been such a bad idea." Elizabeth chided.

"Lizzy, we could not have all gone with him, there was no room between him, his sisters, and brother-in-law."

"Jane, the Hursts probably had their own carriage. This isn't Meryton, where only Mr. Bingley kept one."

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that." Jane replied. "At any rate, we've arrived in one piece."

"Frozen."

"No more than our own aunt and uncle." Jane reprimanded. Elizabeth conceded and their quarrel ended.

The house was very warm and filled with all manner of activity. A few baskets were lining the hallway full of evergreen boughs and some with sprigs of holly. A tree was placed in the drawing room and waited to be decorated.

Somewhere within the house, someone was using a hammer. The children suddenly appeared at the top of the stairs carrying boxes of things, and looking very dusty. Aunt Gardiner appeared last of all, looking the dustiest, and carrying a stool.

"Oh, good, you're home. I wasn't sure how long you would stay with your friend. He seemed to be a very charming sort of gentleman. Of course, from your mother's letters, I expected that his family was on close terms with you, as well. If that was his family, that is. Of course, I don't know."

"Oh, I don't believe that they saw us or I am sure they would have spoken with us very readily." Jane told her aunt.

"Oh," said Mrs. Gardiner, very doubtfully. "Perhaps you are right."

The hammering ceased and Mr. Gardiner returned to the hall where the others stood. The children were ordered to take the boxes to the drawing room and to leave them there. Next, they were instructed to wash up for dinner. He, however, wanted to finish putting something up in the small parlor and took the stool from his wife. Then, she, Jane, and Elizabeth also went upstairs to prepare for dinner.

Elizabeth was in the middle of buttoning Jane's dress when they heard a tremendous crash from below. Aunt Gardiner emerged from her room and ran downstairs. Jane, Elizabeth, and their cousins peeked out from their doors, wondering if they, too, should follow.

Elizabeth determined to follow her aunt and see what all the commotion was about. In the parlor, her uncle was sitting on the floor while her aunt knelt beside him. The stool was overturned and the hammer fallen.

"Here, Edward, let me help you up." Mrs. Gardiner was saying. The gentleman attempted to rise, but quickly abandoned the attempt. With a cry of pain, he exclaimed, "My ankle!"

"Oh, dear, Edward. What have you done?" His wife asked with a mother's weariness.

"I must have sprained it when I fell. Perhaps I should have listened when you said to wait till after dinner to continue. Well, let it be a lesson learned."

"Can we not help him into a chair?" Elizabeth asked.

"No, perhaps you should ask for Winyard to come and help Mr. Gardiner. It'll take more than two flimsy women to lift him." Mrs. Gardiner said, eyeing her husband testily.

Elizabeth obeyed her aunt and found the servant, bringing him to the aid of his master.

The injured man was soon in his favorite chair with his curious little children staring at him, while his wife propped his foot up. Winyard was sent to fetch the doctor.

"You know, my dear, if it wasn't worth the wrenching pain, and my hungry belly, I'd enjoy spraining my ankle very much, indeed."

"My only hope is that it is nothing serious. Otherwise, we are in for a bit of a disappointment, hmm." Aunt Gardiner cast a meaning full glance in the children's direction.

"Oh I hadn't thought of that, well, I am hungry. Why not have the board produced out here and we'll have dinner by the fire."

"Perhaps after the surgeon has arrived, love."

"Oh, dear, you haven't ordered that fellow, have you?" Asked Mr. Gardiner, looking genuinely concerned.

"What do you mean by "that fellow,"? There are dozens upon dozens of surgeons in London." Mrs. Gardiner rebuked him.

"What does it matter, they're a screwy lot, all of them. And, I don't want them meddling with my ankle."

"Nonsense."

The surgeon came and went, diagnosing Mr. Gardiner with a broken ankle.

"Well, this is a fine kettle of fish." Mrs. Gardiner lamented after the children were sent to bed. "Every year, we hire a man to come in dressed as St. Nicholas and give the children their gifts. Since we had no longer planned to go to Longbourn this year, Edward was going to do it himself, while we pretended to be out for the evening. But, now he is quite unable to leave his chair and it is too late to find anyone."

"Surely, there has got to be someone." Jane comforted.

"No, the man we always have is gone home to see his sister, since we didn't need him, and all of our acquaintances have families of their own to attend to. I just couldn't ask a complete stranger to come into my house."

"No, indeed," said Elizabeth, racking her brains for an idea.

A servant entered the dining room the next morning, bringing the mail and there was one addressed to Elizabeth, forwarded from Longbourn. It was from Charlotte (Lucas) Collins and she found that she could not read it in the midst of her family. So, Elizabeth put on her shawl and took to the streets. It was cold outside, but it was snowing, and Elizabeth always thought that it seemed warmer when it was snowing. Before long, the letter was read; it contained only some news about her progress with the parsonage and the wish that she might see Elizabeth soon, as she missed her very much. There, it was nothing too distressing, as she had feared.

"Miss Elizabeth?"

"Mr. Darcy! Mr. Bingley!" Elizabeth exclaimed with surprise, trying not to over-analyze the becoming look Mr. Darcy gave her.

"Are you out alone?" Mr. Bingley asked, searching the shop windows in hope that Jane might be in one.

"Yes, I am quite alone. I was just about to turn back, in fact." She replied. "Oh, Mr. Bingley, how providential! This may seem crazy, but would you do me a service" Elizabeth suddenly blurted out.

"A service? What do you mean, Miss Eliza, are you well?" Mr. Bingley said, taking her arm. Mr. Darcy looked scandalized for a moment, but then took her other arm.

"Yes, yes, I am quite well, thank you"

"Is Jane all right?" He asked with mounting concern.

"Yes." Elizabeth assured him, quite amused with his transparency.

"What sort of service are you talking about, then?" Mr. Darcy asked.

"My uncle had an accident and broke his ankle. My aunt is at her wits end trying to think of what she is going to do for Christmas; you see, Mr. Bingley, every year my aunt has someone dress up as Santa for her children, since they can't all come to Longbourn. It's their little treat. But, since the Gardiners didn't go away this year, my uncle didn't hire anyone, and decided to dress up himself. But, now he can't even get off the couch. Aunt Gardiner thinks that it is too late to find someone." Then she added in a tragic voice, "and my cousins will be so disappointed."

"You want Bingley to dress up and parade around like Father Christmas?" Mr. Darcy asked, scandalized. Elizabeth's feelings were a little hurt and she did not reply. Luckily, however, Mr. Bingley replied,

"That's a good idea, Miss Eliza! I would be honored to assist Jane and your family. I am honored that you think of me as good a friend as to ask me and, I am sure that Darcy would love to assist you as well!"

Well, that remains to be seen, Elizabeth thought.

That night, Elizabeth spoke to her aunt and told her the plan. Mrs. Gardiner was delighted and so relieved that everything would work out after all.

"But, don't you think that we should make it a surprise for Jane, as well?" She asked. "I think that it would such a nice present for her? And rather romantic, if I do say so myself."

"Well, I never would have thought so myself, but now that you say so, it would be fun to surprise Jane. Yes, I think that we should surprise her!" Elizabeth agreed enthusiastically.

Not many days after that was Christmas Eve. The whole family was gathered around Mr. Gardiner's chair, singing carols and playing games. It was a merry gathering and very cozy. As the mantle clock chimed the minutes closer to midnight, the children also kept their eyes turned to it. Of course, they didn't want anyone to know that they were eagerly anticipating it, and tried to sneak a peek while no one was looking. Elizabeth, however, kept her eyes Jane's face, trying to imagine what her surprised expression would look like.

All of a sudden, a loud, solid knock echoed down the hallway into the drawing room and all of the children froze with their eyes wide open with anticipation. Elizabeth could feel herself grow nervous, though she didn't know why. Jane simply looked puzzled. Mrs. Gardiner and Elizabeth didn't even tell her that they had a replacement. Mr. Gardiner smiled happily and wondered out loud who could be at the door. They didn't have long to wait, for the drawing room door was opened and the skinniest Santa Clause ever came in.

Master James rose to his feet and said, "Father Christmas?"

"Yes, my boy! Merry Christmas!" Mr. Bingley said, not trying to disguise his youthful voice. "I suppose you'll be wanting your gifts, but first, I want to introduce my assistant.

Elizabeth had never been so stunned in her life. She even forgot to look for Jane's reaction, because what met her eyes was even more surprising than Bingley in a Santa suit. There, standing before her, was Mr. Darcy, dressed from head to toe in green, looking more like Robin Hood than an elf.

The children then crowded around Father Christmas and received their gifts gratefully and enthusiastically opened them up. Mrs. Gardiner stood behind her husband's chair and tried to look surprised when the children presented their gifts.

"Mama, why is Santa so skinny?" Thomas asked all of a sudden.

Mrs. Gardiner wasn't sure how to answer the question, but was saved by Santa anyway. "Because, I haven't any wife, my boy, and my sisters have refuse to feed me."

"You can marry Cousin Jane, because she's almost an old maid." Meg replied.

Jane blushed scarlet.

"What about the elf? Isn't he too tall?" Harriet asked.

"No." Darcy told her and nobody dared to question his authority.

"Well now, children, since you were all so good this year, I have another surprise outside, if my elf will only lead the way." After the look that he received from Darcy, he decided never to call him an elf again.

Elizabeth, Mrs. Gardiner, and Darcy exited the drawing room and walked down the hall, when Mr. Bingley tapped Jane's shoulder and bid her to wait.

"I don't suppose you could help me with this infernal beard, could you?" He asked merrily.

"Mr. Bingley?" Jane asked so happily that he just stared at her. "I can't believe that it's you in that suit. Did Elizabeth talk you into it?"

"You don't mind, do you?" He asked wistfully.

"Mind? It's the kindest thing you've ever done! I feel so happy." She confessed.

Mr. Bingley's ears turned red with self-consciousness, but they could not be seen under his Santa hat; for a moment he was too embarrassed to meet her gaze, so he stared at the ceiling. "Oh, what's that?"

"What?" Jane asked.

"Mistletoe."

"Mama! Mama! I saw Cousin Jane KISSING Santa Claus!"