Beginning, Section II
Lizzy spent the entire morning anticipating Mr. Darcy's arrival, unable to think of much else, except for that disturbing dream. One might wonder why she pondered it so often, if it was so disturbing for her, but we will leave that be. Her aunt and uncle noticed her anxiety and Jane voiced, "Lizzy, what is the matter? You've been pacing all morning; you are making me nervous. Are you anxious about something?"
"Of course not, Jane. I have nothing to be anxious about, especially not Mr. Darcy's visit..." Lizzy assured herself.
"Mr. Darcy is calling on us today?" Jane asked.
"Yes, with Mr. Bingley. Did I not tell you?"
"With Mr. Bingley? No, you did not tell me!" Jane responded, arose, and began pacing as well.
Mrs. Gardiner laughed and said, "The two of you must stop this at once. I know you must be nervous with your beaus calling and all but..."
"Mr. Darcy is certainly no beau of mine!" Lizzy retorted loudly.
"Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley," announced the servant as the two men entered the room.
Both women blushed, Lizzy especially, fervently hoping she was not heard. They curtsied quickly and each sat in an empty chair. Lizzy refused to even look at Darcy, humiliated as she was, but she did watch as Mr. Bingley greeted her aunt and uncle and then immediately claimed a seat next to Jane. Lizzy smiled at the scene, but her happiness disappeared as quickly as it had begun when Mr. Darcy claimed a seat by her.
"Miss Bennet, I do hope you are well. You look a bit pale," Darcy asked Lizzy.
Lizzy stole a glance at him and was surprised to see a concerned look. She smiled and replied, "I am very well, thank you."
She was unable to say another word as Mr. Bingley practically jumped from his seat to announce his desire to take a walk in the park. Lizzy paled again but consented. She felt a strong sense of déja vu, for within minutes, she was side by side with Mr. Darcy, and Jane and Mr. Bingley were far behind them. Lizzy forced herself to observe the scenery around her and to ignore her walking partner.
His voice, however, interrupted her thoughts, "Miss Bennet." She turned to him and watched as he knelt down before her. This cannot be happening! He cannot be proposing!
"You dropped your glove," he stated as he picked it up off the ground and handed it to her. Lizzy wanted to slap herself in the face, but instead snatched the glove from his hand and continued walking, furious with herself.
Darcy noticed her frown and her quickened pace and asked, "Is there something wrong, Miss Bennet? Have I angered you?"
Of course, you idiot! You were supposed to propose! "No, of course not!" she almost yelled at him, "Why should I be angry with you?"
Darcy was rightly confused at her change in behavior but responded, "I was hoping that I had not done anything to provoke you, but oftentimes, I do so without even trying."
Lizzy was unsure of what he was implying, so, for once, she remained silent. Darcy was, again, confused, when he had expected her to verbally abuse him for the comment. Instead, he took another route, "In fact, if you have noticed, I have been trying to amend my behavior. Have my attempts been successful?"
Lizzy was not catching on, so he motioned back to the couple behind them. Lizzy looked and saw her sister and Mr. Bingley speaking and laughing together quite animatedly. Lizzy smiled and replied, "Are you implying that this is all your doing?"
"No, I cannot take the entire credit, but I did have a hand in it," Darcy explained, hoping to receive her approval.
"I was beginning to think any interference from you would be unfavorable. Perhaps you have proved me wrong."
Darcy spoke earnestly, "Miss Bennet, you must believe how deeply I feel that I wronged my friend and your sister. Please accept my sincerest apology and my attempt to rectify the situation."
Lizzy realized that she was being hard on him. He had fixed everything; she could no longer accuse him of being in the wrong, neither in this situation or in Wickham's. She was beginning to understand how different he was than the way she initially imagined him to be. "Mr. Darcy, please do not punish yourself any longer. Your actions deserve my gratitude and I willingly give it. I am lucky to have a... friend, like you."
Mr. Darcy smiled; their relationship was steadily improving and he hoped that one day she might have deeper feelings for him than friendly ones. However, he was very much satisfied for now. The remainder of their walk was spent pleasantly, in a comfortable silence.
The group returned to the Gardiners' in time for tea, and spoke eagerly with one another in hopes to understand their acquaintance's feelings. Although Jane and Bingley easily understood that they were in love with the other, they remained ignorant to the fact that their affection was returned. The Gardiners watched them as they talked together, wholly aware of the developing relationship that would soon remove Jane from her family, in a matter of speaking. They were, however, much more intrigued by the developing relationship between Darcy and Elizabeth; the feelings there were much less stable and both of them seemed likely to explode from sheer frustration at any moment. Elizabeth spent her time equally between endeavoring to ignore her partner, while subtly attempting to learn more about him, and mischievously trying to provoke him. Darcy was all interest and focused all his attention on the warring emotions and actions of Elizabeth; his feelings, if not his actions, were as stable as Jane and Bingley's - he was in love with Elizabeth. Like Jane and Bingley, neither of them had any clue to the other's feelings; thus, the Gardiners were pleased to watch the couples, all the while vainly attempting to hide their amusement.
It became evident to Elizabeth first that her relations enjoyed watching her torture. "Torture?" Lizzy asked herself. She wouldn't admit that she delighted in the conversation she was having with Mr. Darcy, but she had to agree that it was hardly torment. She was frustrated, however, at not being able to understand the man; she, who prided herself in her good judge of character, could hardly make his out. She was part anguish, wondering why he insisted on being silent half the time, all the while studying her; it made her extremely uncomfortable. She was part hope, though, when she noticed how interested he seemed to be when she spoke; indeed it seemed like all he wanted was to sit and listen to her speak.
Lizzy was distracted from her object (of studying Darcy, though she seemed to forget how uncomfortable she was when he did the same to her), by the illuminated face of Mr. Bingley; it was hard to ignore because it practically lit up the entire room. He seemed to comprehend something extremely valuable all of a sudden and spoke to everyone, "Why, I had almost forgotten! My sisters, Mr. Hurst, and I have claimed a box at the theatre for tomorrow night. There is plenty of room for more, would you all be available to join us?" he paused with a look to Lizzy, "Mr. and Miss Darcy will accompany us of course."
Lizzy raised an eyebrow at the comment that was seemingly directed to her but she and Jane consented; unfortunately, the Gardiners had a previous dinner engagement and could not attend but offered their consent for the ladies to go. Lizzy felt a small amount of anticipation but denied that it was related to anything other than her enjoyment of good plays.
Lizzy and Jane took great care in their appearance that evening. Though neither would admit it, Jane dressed so as not to offend others, and Lizzy dressed to impress one man in particular. They were to see Shakespeare's As You Like It; both were excited to be able to view a play they both enjoyed reading. When younger they would read the play aloud-Lizzy as Rosalind and Jane as Celia-enjoying in the many disguises of the play. Both preferred Shakespeare's comedies and left for the theatre excited, though a bit nervous.
Bingley was there to greet them and escort them to the box where they would watch the play. Miss Bingley, Mrs. Hurst, and Mr. Hurst were already seated within the box. The women welcomed Jane with exaggerated courtesy and bestowed the minimum civility upon Elizabeth. Jane chose a seat next to Bingley and Lizzy sat next to her sister, eager for the final members of the party to arrive. The last time she had spoken to Miss Darcy, it was at the dinner party, when they had discussed the wickedness of Mr. Wickham. Poor thing, Elizabeth thought. She did seem like a vulnerable young girl, but if she was anything like her brother, Elizabeth knew that Miss Darcy had some inner strength that would pull her through. And if there was anything Elizabeth could do to help her, she would. She enjoyed Georgiana's company and hoped that they might become close friends-and not for the same reason Caroline Bingley might wish to.
"What could have happened to Darcy? He is usually quite punctual," Bingley voiced and quickly added with a look towards Lizzy, "However, I'm sure he will be here any moment. He wouldn't miss this for the world." Bingley smiled hopefully, and Lizzy couldn't help returning the smile, although his message was hardly subtle.
Lizzy panicked momentarily when, a few minutes later, the house lights dimmed. Jane placed a hand on Lizzy's, perhaps to calm her, but it only made Lizzy more anxious. What if he does not come, she thought worriedly. She immediately corrected herself, why should it matter so much? It's just Mr. Darcy. It seems that I am constantly thrown into his company whether I desire it or not. It's not like I won't see him again. This inner monologue did little to calm her nerves, and she had much difficulty paying attention to the actors who took the stage when she realized that Darcy was, for some reason or another, not going to join her that night. She could hardly pretend not to be disappointed; she received some kind pats on the hand from her sister, many apologetic looks from Mr. Bingley, and the self-satisfied airs of the Bingley sisters.
Lizzy nearly jumped when she felt a hand on the back of her chair. Miss Bingley whispered, "Mr. Darcy, finally, you have arrived. You've missed the first two scenes!"
She gestured plainly to the seat next to her for him to take it. Mr. Darcy whispered in reply, "Yes, thank you, Miss Bingley." He ignored her invitation to sit and took a seat next to Elizabeth with his sister next to him. Perhaps it was because Miss Bingley offered only one seat, or perhaps because he had already sought the seat next to Elizabeth.
"Please forgive our tardiness, Miss Bennet," Darcy leaned towards Lizzy to whisper to her. "My sister and I have greatly anticipated seeing this play, and being in your company has only increased my... our eagerness." Lizzy felt her heartbeat quicken as Darcy took his eyes off the stage to finish his statement looking directly at her.
Lizzy mustered the sense to reply, "You will be forgiven, Mr. Darcy, only if you take care to pay close attention to the remainder of the performance."
Darcy could not help returning her mischievous smile and responded just as cheekily, "I will try." He broke their gaze to whisper to Bingley, "Sorry Bingley, trouble with the carriage."
"Are you alright? You're rarely late for anything," Bingley asked worriedly.
"We're both fine, Bingley. Don't worry," Darcy replied. He smiled at his sister and did what he was told: he paid attention to the play, however, he could not help stealing glances of Elizabeth when she laughed during the humorous dialogue.
Elizabeth noticed his propensity to look her way whenever she laughed, yet she thought he was internally ridiculing her for her base sense of humor. She decided to test him by asking one time when this occurred, "Mr. Darcy, do you not find this dialogue amusing?"
"Uhh, well yes, indeed I do," Darcy stammered, embarrassed for he thought she might have caught him staring at her when he should have been paying attention.
"But you are not laughing..." Lizzy continued.
"That does not mean I do not enjoy it," Darcy responded.
"Your enjoyment of the play was not in question," Lizzy went on. She decided to take a different approach. "What do you think of Rosalind's character?"
Darcy could immediately sense that he was being tested, and he was not about to make this easy for her. He couldn't help a slight smile when he asserted, "I find her rather impertinent, truthfully. But at least she is honest."
"Honest? Mr. Darcy, I'm not sure if you have noticed, but Rosalind is in disguise throughout the entire play. I don't think that makes her very trustworthy," Lizzy offered. "Touchstone, however, I think is a truly honest character."
"Touchstone? Isn't he the fool? He seems rather... well... foolish to me," Darcy countered.
"I disagree. I find that in most Shakespeare plays the fool is the most forthright character, one who is most able to understand the truth in other characters," Lizzy returned gracefully.
"I see that you are well-informed, Miss Bennet, and that any further argument is fruitless. You have bested me this time," Darcy announced.
Lizzy smiled in return, proud with herself for such an achievement. Mr. Darcy did not let it last long by adding, "But perhaps I would be more knowledgeable if I were better able to pay attention."
"That is not my fault," Lizzy stated.
"Indeed, it is your fault. You are rather distracting this evening," Darcy replied, with a significant look towards her and a mischievous smile.
Lizzy was glad that it was too dark in the theatre for him to see her blush. She was not sure if he meant that he was distracted by her person or by her conversation. Either way, she was pleased. She decided to allow him to watch the remainder of the play without distraction, yet he found himself constantly looking her way when he heard her laughing magnificently.
"What a magnificent performance! Do you not agree, Darcy?" Bingley voiced.
Darcy was broken from his reverie which included a certain dark-haired, bright-eyed woman. "I'm sorry?"
Mrs. Bingley answered for him, "Oh, indeed. It was splendid. I do so enjoy Shakespeare's Comedies. I hardly care for those heavy, depressing Tragedies. I am certain you must share my opinion, Mr. Darcy?"
"Forgive me for disappointing you, but I prefer the emotional value and deep characters of the Tragedies. I do agree, however, that the performance tonight was quite pleasurable," Darcy responded. He hoped that he might detach himself from conversation at this point so that he could spend the remainder of the carriage ride in pleasant reflection. Caroline Bingley, however, had no intention of allowing him this pleasure.
"I had some trouble with the Fool, though. I'm not sure I really liked his character," she continued.
"The Fool in most Shakespeare plays tends to be the most forthright character and the most discerning. I enjoyed his performance immensely," Darcy asserted.
Caroline was not a little put out by the continued conflict between Mr. Darcy's opinion and her own. She tried not to reveal this annoyance as she said, "But Mr. Darcy, you said you prefer Tragedies, which leads me to assume that you have attended many more of them than you have Comedies. And, as we all know, the Fool only appears in Comedies. Therefore, I must ask, is this knowledge based on your own discernment?"
Darcy knew that although her argument had more than a few faults, he politely ignored them and simply stated, "No, I have gained this knowledge from another source."
"Indeed," Caroline replied, eager to learn more. "From what source exactly? I would dearly like to consult this source myself if I can learn more about Shakespeare." Caroline hoped that she might impress him by showing an interest in one of his own pursuits.
"From Elizabeth Bennet, actually. I am sure she would be happy to discuss Shakespeare with you Miss Bingley." Darcy could hardly avoid smiling broadly at the idea of Elizabeth Bennet giving Miss Bingley a lesson in literature.
Caroline blanched at the mention of her name and responded quite unconvincingly, "I must consult her then."
Meanwhile...
Jane and Lizzy readied themselves for bed, both paying little attention to anything but their own silent memories of the night that had passed. They said their goodnights to each other and the Gardiners and each fell soundly asleep to dream...
... "You mean to tell me you have loved me this entire time?" Bingley asked with unmasked hope shining in his eyes.
"Yes, I must admit, that though I tried to forget you when I thought there was no hope, I tried in vain. I was completely shocked to see you at the ball and even more surprised when you treated me with such kindness, as if nothing had come between us."
"Jane, you cannot comprehend how happy you have made me. There is a question I have long wished to ask you. Miss Jane Bennet ... Please allow me"...
... "to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. My behavior over the course of my knowing you has been unforgivable at times. My greatest wish is that you might overlook it due to the great pains I have put forth to correct my errors. Have you not noticed the changes I have sought to make?" Darcy pleaded.
"Indeed, I have noticed a remarkable change in your behavior and your actions. However, I could never have dreamed that you did these things to win my favor."
"To be honest, Elizabeth, I thought only of you. But now there is something I must ask you. I have waited too long. Miss Elizabeth Bennet"...
"Will you marry me?" Bingley and Darcy simultaneously asked.
Jane and Lizzy bolted upright, both waking from vivid dreams at the same time. They turned to each other in the bedroom they shared.
"Bad dream?" Lizzy asked.
"Not necessarily a bad one. You?"
"Along the same lines, I think. Jane, there's something I should probably tell you. I haven't quite kept you up to date on some things. I don't know exactly how to say this, but I ... have, for some time ... I'm not completely sure when ... but I felt ... I feel..."
"You love Mr. Darcy," Jane finished.
"How did you..." Elizabeth stammered.
"Lizzy, I could tell by watching you. By the way you act around him, the way you steal glances at him, the way you tease him."
"Is it that obvious?" Lizzy asked worriedly.
"To me it is. Perhaps not to others. Funny how your feelings can change so quickly for someone." With this statement Jane looked momentarily saddened, yet she continued, "Charles... er, Mr. Bingley has noticed it too though. It is quite clear that Darcy is in love with you as well."
"I don't even know how it started. It just happened. However, after all the terrible things I have said to him, I dare not believe that he would wish to connect himself to me now. But what about you? Has Mr. Bingley declared his intentions?"
"Oh, Lizzy. I do not expect him to. We are simply friends now."
"Jane! That's impossible. You cannot deny that you love him."
Jane hesitated but after a moment replied, "You're right Lizzy. I do still love him. But I fear I cannot expect him to return those sentiments. I must be content with our friendship. He is indeed the most amiable man I have ever met."
"Poor Jane. I do not know who is crazier: Bingley for not having proposed yet, or you for thinking that he does not love you deeply."
Jane smiled, "Perhaps you'll never know."
Elizabeth laughed, "Goodnight Jane."
"Goodnight Lizzy."