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Chapter Six: The Netherfield Ball

Posted on Sunday, 25 August 2002

It was the night of the Ball, and Elizabeth paced nervously. She had lost somewhat of her initial hatred of Mr. Darcy in the few days between the talk with Mr. Wickham and the Ball. Speaking to Charles was useless, he blindly went along with anything and everything Mr. Darcy said, without questioning his judgment. The only unsatisfying part of the discussion, besides Charles' inability to throw Mr. Darcy out of the house, was his final remarks in rebutting her earlier question of blindly following. Charles had said that she was blindly following Mr. Wickham's recital of events.

Elizabeth refused to concede Charles' point, however it continued to haunt her. Mr. Wickham had spoken with such feeling, there was truth in all his looks, he was such an amiable man, he had given particulars of events and circumstances, how could he be doubted?

Then Charles had become concerned that Elizabeth was blinding herself with her like of one man and the dislike of another. That was easy to laugh off. Elizabeth was nothing if not discerning. She never let her prejudices cloud her judgment.

Unsatisfied, she paced about her room. She was completely ready, as she should be, having retired extremely early to prepare. She had been determined to do anything to avoid Mr. Darcy. Even the extra precautions she took to make herself look even more presentable did not take her longer than an extra hour. Elizabeth was usually not so concerned with her appearance, but she felt it important as hostess of the Ball, and in the hope that Mr. Wickham would not be scared off by Mr. Darcy's presence, and dance with her.

Indeed, he had said that it was not for him to go away, but for Mr. Darcy to avoid his society.

Darcy was likewise pacing about his room, also having been ready for a good part of an hour. He was frustrated by his feelings. For the last week he had determined to avoid Miss Bingley's company for as much as possible, and instead of feeling satisfied at his success, he was further downcast. He also believed that she was avoiding him as well, and could not understand it.

Surely she could not dislike me? Admittedly, we have always argued, but this week she has even refrained from arguing with me. He sighed in frustration at the time when he had purposely said something controversial in an attempt to elicit a reaction from her.

Instead of retorting back, she had looked shocked and immediately left the room. He tried to remember what it was about. Something about reminding her of the time in the library, and what a brother should do if he ever caught his sister in such a position. He chuckled in memory. The library scene was one that he carried with him, both as a reminder of her bewitching presence and as a warning to him letting his emotions carrying him away.

But she had not chuckled. She had turned red, as if angry, and left him. Without saying anything, which was unusual for her.

Well tonight he would be his most pleasant. After a week of avoiding her, he was determined to enjoy her presence. It would be one of his last chances to, since he needed to leave for London for a few days to check up on Georgiana and check with his steward on some business. It was also his chance to try and forget Miss Elizabeth Bingley.

But tonight, tonight he would let himself fully enjoy her beauty. Smiling in anticipation of the first dances, having chosen them himself, he checked his appearance one last time before spending the last few hours immersed in a book in the library.

Elizabeth was quickly tiring of greeting the many guests. Taking a much-needed respite from smiling when the Bennet's were announced, she nodded calmly to Mrs. Bennet, gravely (with a twinkle in her eyes) to Mr. Bennet. She warmly greeted Jane, hoping that her stay tonight would be much nicer than her previous stay. She listened to Mr. Collins for as long as she could. Miss Kitty and Lydia did not acknowledge the bare nod they received from their hosts, as they quickly scampered off to meet the officers.

Mr. Wickham had not come, another sore point with Elizabeth, he had instead given a message to Captain Denny to deliver to her, intimating that the only reason why he did not attend was the possible embarrassment to her and her brother with regards to an encounter with Mr. Darcy in their home. She wondered at his forbearance, and lost any real hope of true pleasure for the evening. The little voice in the back of her mind, questioned his earlier remark at not being frightened away by Mr. Darcy, but she silenced it by admiring his consideration.

As the first dance was announced, Bingley welcomed his guests, again and led the set with Jane. As Mr. Darcy came up to claim her hand, he looked at her with such intensity that her body betrayed her by flushing with pleasure. He in turn, smiled down at her gently, and hoped that she would approve of his choice of dance.

Thus the first dance opened with 'Mr. Beveridge's Maggot'. Darcy had thought it extremely appropriate since Elizabeth and he always seemed to be sparring with each other. The dance had a lot of stamping feet, coming together and parting. Some of the turns the dance required of them were similar to the turns of a matador. It gave him the sense of combat as well as dancing, and he hoped Elizabeth would understand. *

Elizabeth did understand all too well. She had an excellent understanding of music and dance, and she was affronted at the thought that Darcy thought of her as some sort of animal to tease and lead on a merry little dance. Her anger transmitted itself in her dancing, and so she was extremely energetic.

Darcy completely misunderstood her seeming enthusiasm, and smiled in complacency. She had understood him, and appreciated the fighting nature of the dance, and their relationship.

Unfortunately (for him), or fortunately (for her), the dance required many partings and so little was spoken of, and the topics that they did speak of were of little consequence and tersely answered by Elizabeth.

The first dance over, Darcy was slightly nervous as to what would be Elizabeth's reaction to hearing the next dance, indeed, what would be the reaction of the populace in general?

As the first strains of the scandalous waltz flew through the room, there were many gasps of astonishment. Jane and Bingley, both surprised at the dance, did not back away however and spent their time together pleasantly.

Caroline Bennet was green with envy at not dancing such a dance with Mr. Darcy, having been made to promise her first two dances to her cousin, Mr. Collins.

Elizabeth could not believe her ears, and desperately thought of a way to extricate herself. She looked in disbelief to Darcy.

"How could you?" she hissed as he approached her. She knew very well how he dared, considering her information from Mr. Wickham. "This is a scandalous dance, I am surprised that you suggested such to the musicians!" As much as she disliked the knowledge that the responsibility for having such a dance would fall on her, she would have been more content if she was dancing it with anyone else. Mr. Bennet would even do! Mr. Wickham, of course, being preferable.

Darcy smiled, almost tenderly as the moment he had awaited for over a week came. He had ordered the musicians to double the length of the dance, and he was going to cherish every moment of it.

He could not help a small smile of satisfaction as he slipped his arm around Elizabeth's waist, whilst his other hand clasped her own. She lightly placed her free hand on his shoulder. She did know how to dance it after all. It had been introduced into French society whilst she was studying there before the war.

She could not disregard her feelings at being held this way. It was the most romantic dance she had ever beheld. She was just angry that he was the one dancing it with her. Her body was in direct conflict with her mind however. She vainly tried to make herself believe that she would feel such a tingling emotion in the pit of her stomach with anyone, that it was not Darcy that was affecting her this way.

As the dancers started dancing, it was obvious that not many people knew how the dance went, or refrained from dancing it. Many ladies were enviously looking at Miss Bingley's good fortune of having snared the handsomest man in the room, who coincidently did know how to dance it properly.

Jane and Charles also did a fair job, but they were too busy quietly talking to notice that apart from Darcy and Elizabeth, there were not more than five other couples dancing. And that the couple who was being given the centre of attention was, for once, not themselves, but his sister and best friend.

Mr. Bennet smiled smugly as he saw Darcy and Elizabeth flawlessly moving in sync to the music. He noted with some small concern that Elizabeth was not looking as well pleased as her suitor. But, as usual, he chose to ignore it, and instead watched as Caroline tried to dance it with William Collins. He had never been entertained half so much in his entire life. Collins had danced the first with Caroline, often stepping wrongly and out of turn which made him apologise profusely to Caroline and anyone else who would listen (which often meant his words went unheeded).

But the diversion Mr. Bennet received on seeing his cousin turn purple with indecision as the first strains of the waltz floated across the floor was bliss. It seemed that Reverend William Collins could not make up his mind whether he should say something about such a scandalous dance (what would Lady Catherine say if she heard that he had attended a Ball with the waltz being played?) or his desire to please his most amiable cousin, especially since he would be allowed to hold her so very close, and try to impress upon her his own wonderful qualities- up close.

Having found out that his most noble patroness' nephew, Mr. Darcy was also in attendance, quieted his unease, although he still attempted to impress upon those around him the dangers of dancing such a dance with a strange partner. Then once he was satisfied that many couples took his most excellent advise, he turned to his fair partner.

"Mr. Collins," Caroline spoke, hope at escaping a second painful dance with her cousin rising when she heard his advice, "it does you great credit to speak thus, and let me join you in saying how inappropriate such a dance is and assure you that I have no desire to dance it at all! To think that Mr. Bingley, who is so amiable, would allow such a dance to be played at his Ball, although I am sure the hostess (with a jealous look at Elizabeth in Darcy's arms) is the most to blame."

Mr. Collins was gratified that his cousin felt like he did on such topics, but he was not about to relinquish his chance to show her, and her parents how attentive and obliging he was.

"Be assured my dear Cousin Caroline that your reluctance does you credit, but since it is not objected to by your parents," with a quick motion towards where Mr. Bennet and Mrs. Bennet were standing, one looking amused, the other oblivious to everything but her gloating over Jane and Mr. Bingley to Lady Lucas, "and since we are not strangers, but are more closely related (with a leer) by blood, and other familial feelings, I venture to declare that there is nothing I would enjoy more than to dance with you!"

And without waiting for a reply, Mr. Collins clasped her close, and Caroline shuddered at the unpleasant odour that wafted beneath her nose (she was a tall lady, and her cousin was not the tallest of men). Of course, Mr. Collins merely took her shudder to be a ladylike response practiced by elegant females. He briefly wondered how it would feel to have Miss De Bourgh as closely as he held his cousin (which was a deal closer than required by the dance). She is not quite so tall, and I do not appreciate orange as a colour for a garment. Lady Catherine would never let her daughter wear such a... bright... colour. He quickly schooled his thoughts from that direction, and devoted all his considerable amount of attention on the lady that was in his arms.

As could be expected he was no better at dancing the waltz than he was the previous dance and so they moved unevenly and kept bumping into each other, and the other couples, even though there were so few on the dance floor. Charlotte Lucas who was happy to be dancing at all, let alone with a charming officer, laughed merrily with her partner, Captain Denny, as Mr. Collins and Caroline yet again bumped into them, nearly tearing her dress. Captain Denny saw how pretty Miss Lucas could look with a smile on her face and laughter in her eyes, and was determined to get to know her better.

But back to our main couple.

"How did you find France when you were there, Miss Bingley?" Darcy asked her, in a vain attempt to initiate some sort of friendly conversation.

Elizabeth, fighting the urge to rest her cheek against Darcy's chest, decided that carrying a conversation would be just the thing to distract her from her attraction. She realised that if this was how Darcy wooed his women, she could certainly understand why he was so successful. She was even slowly warming to him, even after being made aware of his bad character.

"I liked France very much. They have some of the best music teachers there." Lizzy smiled, wondering where he was going with the conversation. What did he hope to glean from her, where was the next attack going to be?

"Your sister did not go to school in France?" Darcy persisted, needing to know more about this beautiful woman in his arms.

"No," Elizabeth laughed, sending shivers of pleasure up Darcy's spine, "Louisa was never one for studying, and was content with some first rate education in London. She has always been more interested in the latest fashion and intrigues in London to worry too much about anything other than gaining the standard accomplishments."

"But you were not?" Darcy smiled disarmingly, knowing that Elizabeth was far superior to the typical woman of the Ton.

Elizabeth looked quizzically at Darcy, especially his smile- Is this supposed to divert me from concentrating on my answers, so he could find fault somewhere? Does he not understand how his mere presence so close to me drives me to distraction? Treacherous senses! she screamed to herself. You are supposed to despise him!

"Yes, I enjoyed reading and studying history and art. I also have a passion for music, and was recommended to go to France for further tuition." The sentence came out more of a challenge, than a reply, as if she was daring him to despise her.

"Your love of music certainly shows in your playing. The other night at the Lucas' I had never heard that piece played so well."

Elizabeth blushed slightly, and then got angry with herself for letting his words affect her so deeply. "Thank you, Mr. Darcy. I believe Miss Darcy plays the pianoforte exquisitely. Charles has often commented that she plays very well for such a young lady."

Darcy warmed up to his topic, "Yes, Georgiana finds solace and consolation in her music. She devotes much energy into perfecting every performance."

Before they could continue with the conversation, they were interrupted by Sir William Lucas, congratulating them on such superior dancing, and intimating that it would not be long before they would be dancing again, glancing slyly at Charles and Miss Bennet and winking.

Darcy was so surprised he nearly missed the next movement in the dance, causing Elizabeth to step away from him because he did not follow. Charles and Miss Bennet? he wondered. When did this occur? Could Charles really be serious about her? It is obvious the rest of Hertfordshire thinks so. How could such an obvious piece of news startle him? He cursed himself for his neglect of Charles. You were too busy enjoying the charms of his sister!

Elizabeth wondered at Mr. Darcy's sudden silence. Sir William was a bit vulgar in his comments, but did not say anything out of the common. She was looking forward to congratulating Charles on his engagement to Jane. She was not sure whether she was looking forward to dancing with Mr. Darcy again however, no matter the event. Just as he chooses! He is a very whimsical fellow, one minute being extremely pleasant, for a change, the next being his usual, silent and solemn self. Hateful man! Elizabeth rolled her eyes and continued dancing. At least the dance is nearly over. I can get away from his nerve-wracking closeness.

As the final bars lingered through the air, the dancers clapped enthusiastically, declaring the waltz to be a success. Many young ladies went home later, determined to learn it so the next time, they too could dance.

Elizabeth was not one of those ladies. She was busy reprimanding herself for betraying Mr. Wickham in her pleasure at being in Mr. Darcy's arms.

Darcy was also reprimanding himself- for not seeing Bingley's inappropriate attachment to Miss Bennet, as well as for not fully enjoying the last minutes of his dance with Miss Bingley. He wondered if she had any inkling of her brother and Miss Bennet's supposed attachment. Perhaps he should ask her?

But when he returned her to her friend Miss Lucas, she curtly thanked him for the dances and turned around dismissing him. To say that he was hurt was an understatement. But the pain was soon replaced with anger about being so dismissed by her.

He spent the rest of the night, trying to forget Elizabeth's presence by prowling about finding as much information on Miss Bennet and her family as he could, as well as closely monitoring her behaviour, trying to ascertain her feelings towards his friend. Unfortunately for Darcy, Miss Bennet spent much of her time conversing with Elizabeth, and so he found his task more difficult than planned. Then there were the times that Elizabeth was escorted to the dance floor by the many admiring gentlemen in the room. She seemed to attract the attention of the officers especially, and he was glad that Wickham had decided not to rear his ugly head.

Elizabeth did not enjoy the rest of her evening. She conversed with Charlotte, and when available Jane, but her discussions with Charlotte were unsatisfactory. After informing her somewhat on the information regarding Mr. Darcy, Charlotte calmly stated that Elizabeth would be a simpleton indeed to let her fancy for a poor officer such as Mr. Wickham cloud her relationship with a man of much more means. Especially a man who was so closely united with her family, and had the trust of her brother. This warning, from the voice of Reason, made Elizabeth stop and wonder for the first time whether Mr. Wickham could be another fortune hunter. But what would be his motive in setting her against Darcy? Mr. Wickham had not made any unseemly advances towards her, Mr. Darcy had. Mr. Wickham's intimation that Mr. Darcy was a horrible flirt, and possibly worse, was a way of warning her, she believed. He had acted generously and without any emotional outbursts. Is it odd that a man of such understanding and feeling be quite unemotional when relating his tale of woe? As if it was rehearsed. Elizabeth had certainly felt high emotion upon hearing of Mr. Darcy's unchristian actions, and yet Mr. Wickham was very calm throughout it all. Could such pleasantness be a cover for duplicity? Elizabeth was hard pressed to refute the possibility. Perhaps Mr. Wickham told it dispassionately to hide his aggrieved emotions or so as not to upset her. She then remembered all the times that Darcy had acted haughty and in exactly the same manner that Mr. Wickham had accused him off, and she meditated on the pleasant way he had chosen her out of all the other Bennet ladies. She shook of these meditations and attended to what Charlotte was saying.

They also argued about Jane's feelings for Charles. Charlotte insisted that her feelings were too guarded, and that Jane had better be more explicit otherwise Charles may be unaware of her regard. Elizabeth disagreed, saying that if she could notice Jane's feelings, she was sure her brother could. Charlotte was then asked to dance by Captain Denny again, and Elizabeth smiled with delight at the attention her friend was receiving.

Caroline Bennet, too, on hearing of Eliza's favourite officer (she never found out how Caroline knew), came to offer some insincere advice, pressing Eliza to marry Mr. Wickham quickly before other ladies snatched him up (in the hopes that this would leave Mr. Darcy for herself).

She spoke with Mr. Bennet for a while as well, but could not put up with Mrs. Bennet's or Mr. Collins' fawning for long. When Mr. Collins asked for a dance with her, she declared herself to be tired, and therefore was subjected to sit out the remaining dances.

Miss Lydia and Kitty Bennet flirted constantly with the officers, Lydia actually grabbing and running around with one of their cutlasses. Miss Mary Bennet's performance on the pianoforte was lacking, and even Mr. Bennet managed to embarrass his family by his cruel comments to his daughters. Caroline tried several times to convince Mr. Darcy to dance with her, sometimes in the most suggestive terms. Mrs. Bennet lorded over the other matrons, already seeing Jane as Mistress. Elizabeth had never felt such shame on behalf of another as she did for Jane. This did not affect her desire to have her as a sister in law, merely her desire that Charles find another house to live in at the other end of the country.

And so ended a promising night. By the time all the guests had departed, Lizzy was in an extremely cranky mood, and even snapped at Charles when he reminded her that he would be away for about three days, as he was visiting his solicitor in London. The only good thing was the revelation that Mr. Darcy would be also leaving with Charles in the morning.

A few days of quiet, without that bothersome man to affect her senses, was exactly what Elizabeth needed.

*Actually adapted from The Making of P&P

Chapter Seven: Sister or Friend?

Posted on Thursday, 29 August 2002

Elizabeth was extremely displeased at her sister's proposition. She knew exactly how the locals would see this. It would seem as if Mr. Bingley and company were deserting Hertfordshire for good. Considering that was Louisa's intention, Elizabeth conceded that she would get it.

Elizabeth did not leave without a fight, though, and it was only with the realisation that she would be left alone, in the large house, that prompted her to fall in with her sister's plans.

She was not willing however to further her sister's cause by trying to sway Charles' attentions away from Jane Bennet. She was also indignant at her sister's suggestion that was the same reason why Mr. Darcy left for London with Charles.

Elizabeth knew how to deal with Mr. Darcy's influence, and she was hoping that her own influence and opinions would be able to sway Charles in Jane's favour. She dwelt on her plan of attack throughout the trip to London that day. She dwelt on the pain she may have caused Jane in her letter conveying her regret at leaving, but the hope that she would be back within the neighbourhood with her brother in a few days.

Once they arrived in London, Elizabeth lost no time in going to her brother's Townhouse, only to catch Mr. Darcy in the very act of dissuading his friend by pointing out the disadvantages of a union to Jane Bennet. Her brother looked hopelessly swamped by all the arguments.

Each man reacted differently to her presence. Bingley perked up a bit, knowing that Lizzy would support his decision. Darcy looked crestfallen, knowing that there would be an unwanted clash with Elizabeth over Jane Bennet. He did however note to himself how beautiful an angry Elizabeth looked, and steeled himself for the first blow.

But it did not come. Elizabeth looked him up and down challengingly, and then turned to her brother as if nothing was amiss, and asked him how his business with his attorney went.

Charles smiled at her and replied that he had yet to visit him, he had planned to go on the morrow. He then asked her why she was there.

"Louisa and Mr. Hurst decided to come to London for a while, and I could not be left by myself, so I accompanied them and will wait for your business to conclude before accompanying you back to Netherfield." Elizabeth smiled sweetly at Darcy (as he tried to dislodge the thought that he could have been there, alone with Elizabeth whilst Bingley and the Hursts were in London).

Charles smiled widely. "I am glad you are here Elizabeth, for I may need your advice for some, umm, jewelry purchases in the near future." He grinned silly.

Elizabeth was enraptured. She promptly got up and gave Charles a hug. "Oh Charles! I am so happy for you! I am sure Jane loves you to distraction, even if she does hide behind proprietor's demands of a serene countenance." This last with an impertinent look at Mr. Darcy.

He rose to the challenge. If Miss Bingley wanted a fight, he would give her a fight.

"Unfortunately Miss Bingley, I disagree with you." He stood up, trying to use his height to intimidate her, "I believe Miss Bennet's countenance betrays no special regard for Charles and I would hate to see your brother in a loveless marriage."

"And what do you base your opinions on, Mr. Darcy? Have you spoken with the lady herself? Have you taken it upon yourself to discuss this with her? Or is this purely disinterested observation on your behalf for the last month's acquaintance with Jane?"

Mr. Darcy looked a bit uncomfortable, and Elizabeth did not waste time pressing her advantage.

"I on the other hand, have constantly interacted with her, when she was not otherwise engaged with Charles, and found her to be a sincere, sweet, reserved young lady, whom I would gladly call sister. As for her feelings, let me assure you Charles, that whenever your name was mentioned between us, she would blush modestly. I feel that to be a fair indication of her feelings. On the other hand, I would ask you Charles, who have surely spent as much time with Jane as myself, what you think of her feelings? Do you feel that she returns your feelings?"

Charles smiled widely, "Well Lizzy, I had, before Darcy started pointing out to me her behaviour, thought that she was extremely attentive to my conversation. She remembered details that I had told her previously and had taken a genuine interest in myself, the estate, my family and interests. Yes, I would have to say that I think she is capable of returning my regard."

Elizabeth nodded, satisfied. Then turning her gaze on Mr. Darcy raised her eyebrow as if challenging him to defeat her.

"Miss Bingley, you have been so much away for the last few years, you have not seen how your brother falls in love at the drop of a hat. It has been I that has had to pull him out of potentially damaging matches where the ladies have only been looking at his fortune. I believe I am more capable of forming an objective opinion in this matter. You seem to be too involved with the young lady in question to be capable of making a rational decision."

Charles cringed. No one would ever dare imply Lizzy devoid of rational judgment, well no one would ever say such things and not be sharply called down, possibly physically beaten. He heard her intake of breath, and wondered whether they would notice if he slipped outside for a while. He then thought better of it. He may be needed to keep Lizzy from harming his friend.

"Mr. Darcy," Lizzy stated in her most cold, aloof voice imaginable. He shuddered to hear her address him in such a manner. She smiled in satisfaction. "Thank you for your obviously selfless concern with my brother's welfare. You seem to take into consideration his feelings and opinions on these subjects. You also seem to employ a most dizzying logic in supposing that a sister's attachment to a potential sister-in-law is not a consideration for a brother when marrying. I acknowledge that the sister's affections should not blind the brother, but he should, as a loving brother, take into due consideration whether the ladies would be friends. Or do you not suppose to take into consideration your own sister's feelings when taking a wife?" She paused, gathering her thoughts, and letting her words sink in. "You are mistaken, however in supposing me blind and stupid and unfeeling towards my brother's past attachments. We have always corresponded frequently, and he has often commented on the lady that has caught his eye. I have also sometimes seen him when he is with said ladies of interest, and I have never seen him so completely besotted as I have watched him interact with Jane. I again thank you for your concern, and unless you have any other degrading remarks to make, I rather think you should leave."

Darcy stood there stunned. Never had any woman ever dared to speak to him in such a manner. Elizabeth even rivalled his Aunt when she was in high dudgeon. He was angry with her. Angry with the way she made him feel about her, whilst she seemingly did not care a twig about him. Darcy was a proud man, and he would not humbly admit being wrong, nor that he loved someone without having her return that affection. He paled as his emotions churned within him.

"Miss Bingley," his tone dripped with as much ice as he could muster. "you are wrong in supposing that affection is the only consideration in marriage. Jane Bennet, however much she may appear to love your brother, is poor. She has relations in trade (Elizabeth flinched at that), her family's conduct is appalling at the best of times, verging on the obscene at others. I think it very imprudent of Charles to form such an inappropriate and belittling alliance. She can bring nothing good to the marriage, apart from a pretty face that will wither in time."

It was Charles' turn to become angry. "You go too far Darcy! How dare you insult her like that! Jane has many qualities, many that some of the wealthiest, most influential families are entirely devoid of. I am sorry that you feel so strongly about this, but I must side with my sister on this issue." He took a deep breath to dislodge his anger, "I understand that you truly are only thinking of me here, but will you not allow me to judge for myself in the matters of the heart?" He stopped himself from going on to say "since you are devoid of one, and are not qualified to judge?".

Darcy stiffly bowed, and moved to leave. He could not go, however without having the last word. "Do as you please Bingley, I will not stop you, however much I am disappointed in your decision. I am constantly amazed at the allurements adopted by females in attempting to lure men of fortune to them." Darcy winced as he said the words. He knew he had gone too far. Even he did not believe Jane Bennet a cold, contriving lady.

Bingley was struggling not to bodily throw Darcy out of the house after such a comment about his beloved. Elizabeth felt no such restraint. She walked straight up to Darcy, and would have slapped him sharply across the face if her brother had not quickly prevented her.

"How could you say such a thing after the way you treat women?" Elizabeth demanded, emotion choking her sentences.

Darcy turned to her in amazement, more at the words than the intended blow (he felt he deserved some reprimand). The way I treat women? Darcy was too puzzled to continue walking out the door. One slip up in the library hardly makes me the world's worst flirt!

"Elizabeth!" Bingley reprimanded, half-heartedly. He was shocked that she would behave so impulsively, but he too, was curious as to her meaning.

"Charles," Elizabeth tried to regain her ragged breathing, her emotions- anger and disappointment and shock- were brimming over. "you do not realise what a ... a ... cad this man is! He treats his friends infamously, snubbing everyone who is beneath him. He flirts with women and ... and ... worse! He ... ruins their reputation, knowing full well that he will not marry any of them!"

"Elizabeth Bingley!" Charles cried, amazed at her accusations. He knew that Darcy was the sole of honour, where had she learnt this? "Who has told you such ... such dribble?"

Darcy clenched his fists as he heard her continue to fling insult after insult at him. Proud, disagreeable, haughty and un-gentlemanlike being the kinder of them. How could she believe him over me? Where had she met him to hear his poison? His anger got the better of him for the second time in the day.

"Do not concern yourself Bingley. I am fully aware of who told such lies." He laughed mirthlessly, "I had simply given your sister too much credit in believing her too intelligent to believe his lies. I see this is another area that I have been deceived in." He spat bitterly. Miss Bingley was no better than any other woman. She fell for Wickham's charms easily.

Her eyes blazed. "How dare you," she gasped, "how dare you call them lies after I have seen your behaviour to people inferior to you? After you treat people with such contempt! After what you tried to do in the library that day!"

Darcy's face paled. It suddenly hit him how badly it would reflect on him in Elizabeth's opinion, after hearing Wickham's account of his supposed dalliances with other ladies (a new low, even for Wickham). The last week's interactions took on a new meaning as he pondered her reactions to him. He winced when he remembered his attempted jest regarding the library scene and a brother's duty.

Bingley, however, wasn't interested in watching them reflect on what they had said to each other. He wanted answers.

"What happened in the library, Elizabeth?" he asked deadly calm. If Darcy had tried to ... oh it was too horrifying to think about.

Elizabeth swallowed her tears, but they threatened to spill over. All the hurt, all the worry and confusion of the past few weeks flooded her, and she flung herself into her brother's arms and sobbed uncontrollably.

Charles soothed her as best he could. Darcy was still deathly pale, looking shocked.

Damn! he swore to himself. Why could I not control my reaction to her presence? If I had, she may never have believed Wickham! He roughly shot his hands through his hair, which Bingley tried not to see as a guilty reaction. Who am I kidding? She would have believed him, no matter what. He has the charming, easy manners. He never hurt her or was one minute conversing pleasantly with her, the next ignoring her. Wickham did not have this damnable pride that prevented him from speaking to people, nor disclosing his true feelings however humbling they may appear to be. It was then that Darcy realised that his objections to Charles getting married, was not so much the woman, but marriage itself, and what it meant for his relationship with Elizabeth. He had never believed that someone's actions should be controlled by an irrational passion for another person. Darcy had felt himself above such weak emotions. What had love got to do with anything? It made you weak and confused and totally dependent on another person. And Darcy was not willing to feel that exposed for anyone. Poor Georgie Darcy lamented I am the real reason she feels so isolated. After she was hurt so abominably by Wickham, I decided to cut myself off from ever feeling an emotion. He looked sadly at the sobbing Elizabeth. His feelings for her however had sprung up and broken the wall he had built, and he had been afloat ever since. And with the realisation of his love for Elizabeth Bingley came the humbling conclusion that he would forever be separated from her.

Darcy bowed his head. He had not wanted to cry since a child, but he realised he had needed to cry for a long time. Just wait a few minutes longer he silently prayed. I need to speak to Bingley and straighten this mess out somehow.

Bingley had, by this time sat himself and Elizabeth down on a couch. She had quieted, and was softly sniffling, not daring to raise her head, embarrassed by her outburst, and feeling that somehow her trust in Mr. Wickham was misplaced. Bingley however, still demanded an explanation.

"Don't let her speak Charles" Darcy said softly, standing in front of him, as he would his father when he was in trouble so many years ago. "I..." his voice choked up on him. He blinked back tears.

"For some time, I have been ... attracted ... to your sister, Elizabeth." There, he had finally said her name out loud. "I fought it as best I could."

Charles looked puzzled at this, Darcy smiled wryly. "You can easily believe my arrogance capable of supposing such an attachment beneath me." Elizabeth sniffed loudly, and Darcy's heart bled at hurting her.

"I suppose her low connections, her fortune in trade would appear to be the main reason for my arrogant assumption, but in reality it was not it- not fully at least. It was more the paralysing effect of such a strong emotion. To be sure, some of my family will continue to look down upon such an alliance, but surely, you can believe me from my friendship with you, that ultimately such considerations were not the problem."

"I am a proud man." Elizabeth could not help smirking in satisfaction at such an admission. "I still believe pride to be a positive virtue, if treated properly. You can be proud of your accomplishments, proud of your wife, proud of your parents, your son. This is constructive pride. But I suffer from the more common, destructive pride. I am still proud. Too proud that this next confession will hurt."

"Sit down, Darcy, I will not have you pacing back and forth as if you were a child being scolded."

Elizabeth could not help letting out a very small giggle. She still had not looked up, but she could picture his tall frame pacing back and forth, his hands behind his back, him glancing up occasionally to see if Charles was still following him.

He smiled painfully at her laughter, and sat down. He recommenced.

"George Wickham, (Bingley felt Elizabeth stiffen at his name) was the son of my father's trusted steward. We grew up as friends, my father giving him all the benefits of education and society that his own father could not have afforded. This generosity extended to his attending college with me. We shared a room, but not for long. I soon found out that he often used our rooms for his own ... ahh ... pleasures, and..." Darcy became flustered at speaking of such a thing before a lady, especially Elizabeth.

"Don't worry, Darcy, I think we understand what you are referring to." Bingley smoothly interjected.

"Needless to say, that I felt it most unsuitable to allow Mr. Wickham to become a clergyman. My father died five years ago, and less than a year later, the living promised to Mr. Wickham fell vacant. I was not surprised, but was heartily glad, when Mr. Wickham declined entering the Church. He expressed an interest in the law, and I wanted to believe that he was sincere. I bequeathed to him three thousand pounds in lieu of the living. He accepted, and all connection between us ceased. How he lived and spent that three thousand I do not know, nor do I wish to, but in less than three years, he came back demanding more from me. In short, demanding that I give to him the family living promised him by my father."

"What?" Elizabeth exclaimed, sitting up in shock.

Darcy smiled sadly at her tear-streaked face. "You can imagine my surprise at his declaration, and I hope you can acquit me of any cruelty at refusing his request."

"I should say so!" Bingley agreed. "Mr. Wickham forfeited all claims by taking the three thousand. Three thousand in less than three years! How could one spend that much?" Elizabeth silently agreed with her brother.

Darcy took a deep breath. He knew he need not continue with his account, but he knew he would always regret not telling them, not telling her, not humbling himself fully in her eyes.

"Forgive me," he began, "this part is most painful."

"Please," Elizabeth begged, looking at him for the first time, fully in his eyes. "You do not have to continue. You are entitled to your privacy. I... really should not have believed him, nor accused you."

He smiled sweetly at her, how he longed to caress her cheeks, to brush the tears from her eyes. He was amazed at how quickly his anger had dwindled in the face of her pain.

"No, I will tell the tale in its entirety. Last summer, my sister, who was fifteen at the time, went with her companion, Mrs. Younge, to Ramsgate. And thither also went Mr. Wickham undoubtedly by design. I found out later that he was somewhat intimately acquainted with Mrs. Younge, and had planned this for a while. Mr. Wickham persuaded Georgiana that she was in love with him, and she, remembering his kindness to her as a child, felt herself so much in love as to agree to an elopement. You can hardly be surprised at Mr. Wickham's ease with which he can attract ladies of sense and education."

Elizabeth lowered her head in shame. She had been deceived most cruelly. Why had she not listened to her brother and to Charlotte? Why had she not simply looked at it more objectively?

Darcy continued, his voice becoming stronger, as he felt the worst was over. "I joined Georgiana unexpectedly two days before the elopement was to take place, and she, looking up to me as more of a father, couldn't bear to deceive me, told me everything. You cannot be surprised at my reaction to such news. Mrs. Younge was promptly dismissed, and I sent Mr. Wickham off. He only wanted her fortune of thirty thousand pounds and his chance to revenge himself on me. My sister was devastated at his duplicity and has still yet to recover completely." Darcy paused, feeling surprisingly freer than he had for a long time.

"And what happened in the library?" Bingley still wanted to know.

Both Elizabeth and Darcy blushed. "I, as I said earlier, had been struggling with my feelings for your sister. I saw her attempting to retrieve a book from a shelf too high for her to reach, so I assisted her." A small smile spread across his face, which did not go unnoticed by Charles. Darcy forced himself to look Charles directly in the eye, "I was standing very close to her, closer than proprietary allowed, and I ... tried to kiss her."

Here was a situation Darcy had never thought himself to be caught in. Especially confessing such a thing to his friend Charles. But he had never met a woman who enchanted him more than Elizabeth. Even now, after all the hurtful, spiteful things they had said to each other not ten minutes ago, he was incapable of hating her.

"And are you sorry for what you did?" Charles demanded. Elizabeth tried to shush him.

Darcy flushed hotly. Was he sorry? He stood up and bowed to leave.

Charles stopped him as he walked out the door. "Well?" he inquired.

Darcy smiled smugly. "No, I am not. I am only sorry that I did not succeed. Good day Charles." He turned at the end of the hallway. "I am sorry for the things that I said about Miss Bennet. I hope you may overlook what was said in a heated moment. I wish you both very happy."

As he walked out of the door, he felt his heart break as he heard the door close behind him. Emotionally exhausted, he ordered his carriage to take him home.

After Darcy had gone, Charles turned to Elizabeth and hugged her. "Are you satisfied with Darcy's account? Do you believe him?"

Elizabeth sniffed a little in remembrance of how horridly she had upbraided him. "Yes" she replied in a small voice. "I am so sorry Charles. I have acted like such a fool! To be so blind! To be so prejudiced in my opinions! I, who prided myself on my discernment! Til this moment, I never knew myself."

Charles tightened his hold on her, "do not worry Lizzy, you heard Darce say how most women fell under Mr. Wickham's influence."

Elizabeth sniffed back a tear, "that does not help Charles. What must he think of me?"

Charles smiled to himself. She was more concerned with Darcy's opinion than her own disillusionment. That had to be heartening.

"Come, I will get Betsy to make you some tea. Then I think you should have a warm bath and have a good sleep."

Elizabeth got up from her position on the couch, hugging her brother in gratitude. What would she have done without Charles there to comfort her? "I believe I shall, Charles. I will speak to you in the morning then."

As she was walking out the door, however, she turned back with a puzzled expression.

"Yes Lizzy?"

"Umm ... I was just wondering, what he said?"

"What who said?"

"Mr. Darcy." Lizzy replied in a small voice.

"About what? He said quite a few things if you recall." He gently teased her.

Elizabeth cleared her throat. "About whether he was sorry for trying to... umm... kiss me."

Charles grinned, "Go to bed Lizzy."

She pouted. "Charles! Tell me!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!!!"

"Will you promise me to go straight to bed if I tell you?"

She nodded.

"Darcy was only sorry that he did not succeed." He grinned at the stunned look on her face. Going over to her, he gently pushed her out the door, and tousling her hair, he told her to go to bed.

She eventually slept.

Chapter Eight: Back to Netherfield

Posted on Sunday, 8 September 2002

The next morning saw brother and sister walking towards the shops. Charles was escorting Lizzy to make some dress purchases, whilst he was meeting with his solicitor, and then he would join her again later and they would look at some jewelry together.

Elizabeth had slept extremely well, being emotionally and mentally exhausted from her shouting match with Mr. Darcy yesterday.

Mr. Darcy she pondered whilst looking through the latest fabrics. Am I angry at him or not? I should be. He said some awful things about Jane and ladies in general. Not to mention some uncomplimentary remarks about me as well! Elizabeth stood absent-mindedly stroking the soft fabric. But then again, I also said some awful things to him. Lizzy blushed when she remembered just exactly what she had accused him of. He had looked so bitter, so utterly perturbed at my trust in Mr. Wickham's tale. Lizzy started reprimanding herself, again, for the lack of discernment she had shown in her dealings with the two men. The fact that she had readily believed a stranger over the man who was her brother's closest friend, over a guest in her own house, for what? Because one man wounded my pride, my vanity, whilst the other flattered me. I who prided myself on my judgment, I who have been fending off many attempts by men to gain my fortune, was reduced to falling so easily. I should have noticed that Mr. Darcy acted without any malicious intent towards any other woman in Meryton. He could have easily had Miss Caroline if he had wanted a quick fling!

Elizabeth was very distressed with herself.

What about the lovely things he said about me? a voice within her whispered. The part where he said he admired me, even felt himself falling in love with me. So much so that he could not stop himself from kissing me! Elizabeth shook her head. It was utterly incomprehensible! A gentleman of his standing, his fortune, to fall for some tradesman's daughter! How that must hurt his pride. She thought wickedly, then sobered. He had certainly humbled himself yesterday. Her kind nature felt compassion for the man who laid bare his sister's humiliation, his own private dealings to someone who had just said they despised him. Oh you did worse, Lizzy! You nearly hit him! Hit a gentleman!

She sniffled back a tear. What she would do to take back those words, even the last month in his company so they could start again! Elizabeth was already predisposed to believe Charles when he says how good a man Darcy really is (and he had repeated that often all morning!).

"The muslin is beautiful is it not, Ma'am?" the serving lady asked in a vain attempt to rescue the fabric from being worn out from Elizabeth's stroking.

Elizabeth shook herself out of her reverie.

"Yes," she smiled at the lady, "very beautiful. I think I would like a dress made out of it. Perhaps a morning gown?"

The serving woman's eyes lit up at the potential customer. "Indeed madam, the light blue colour would be perfect for morning calls." She gently removed the cloth from Lizzy's hands. "And if I may be so bold as to suggest this matching bonnet?" she indicated a blue trimmed bonnet in the latest style. "We also have a fine selection of gloves and ribbons and other trimmings in the case here. And if you like blue, madam, perhaps this deep blue dress for an evening gown?"

Needless to say, Charles was very much surprised at the amount of material and clothing that Elizabeth was loaded down with when he came to get her.

What is it with females and shopping? Charles wondered. Something that would be echoed by males everywhere, throughout time.

But noticing that Elizabeth was nodding absently at the serving lady at each suggestion, Charles knew that he had to put a stop to it.

"Come Elizabeth, we are wanted elsewhere."

"Oh! Charles! Finished already?" Elizabeth turned, still holding some blue fabric. "Do you think this colour very pretty?"

Charles rolled his eyes. Lizzy was generally not this fashion conscious.

"A very lovely shade of blue. It will perfectly match that cloak you bought back with you from France. But Lizzy, are you quite finished?"

"Yes, to be sure." Elizabeth then collected herself, and her purchases (she was quite surprised at how many she had made), and directed a servant where to take them.

Brother and sister walked out, quite the favourites of the shop workers.

They strolled up the street, unaware that a certain gentleman was watching from a distance and envying his friend's good fortune at escorting Elizabeth anywhere. He knew it was wrong to stare, he knew it was equally wrong to not make his presence known, but when he was uncertain of whether his presence would be welcomed, he hung back, content to watch.

He reprimanded himself again and again for the mess he had made. If only he had disclosed his dealings with Wickham to Charles earlier! But he had always hoped that his sister's good reputation would not have any stain. He also, he admitted, thought that Bingley might be a good potential match for his sister, no matter the fact that he was in trade.

He smiled bitterly at this reflection. Oh the irony of it all! To think that the brother was worthy of Georgiana, but the sister unfit as a wife for me! He chuckled mirthlessly. There is no going back. No real hope. Why bother? But he knew he still loved her enough (yes, he had finally admitted during his reflections by the fire last night) to want to make amends.

If only she could look at me and see me for who I am! Darcy thought, knowing he was not quite so bad as she had painted him yesterday. But who knows who I really am? I purposely kept myself apart from everyone, hoping to never let anyone into my life so I wouldn't hurt so when they left. Like Mother and Father. Darcy sighed and turned his thoughts back from the dark recesses of his mind.

He slowly followed them at a safe distance, and when passing by them as they entered the jewelers, he managed to catch a small amount of their conversation.

"By the way, Lizzy" Bingley was addressing his sister. "I was invited to a party tonight at Mrs. Brackley's. The invitation, of course, extended to both you and Louisa. I was hesitant at first to say yes, but they pressed me so earnestly that I accepted on behalf of yourself and I, and assured them that I would ask Mrs. Hurst."

"Yes, Charles, we should go, however much we may prefer to be in different society at the moment," with an arch look at Charles, "but I do not fear for your affections being swayed, and perhaps I could do with a slight reprieve from my thoughts. I do not think Louisa will be able to attend however, since she and Mr. Hurst were going to attend a gathering in order to glimpse the famous Sir Walter Elliot and his daughter Miss Elizabeth Elliot who is to be introduced tonight!"

Bingley and Elizabeth both shared a smirk. They had heard that Sir Elliot was an extremely good-looking man, and as a consequence was very vain. They did not envy (or understand) their sister's wish to see him and his daughter.

Darcy stood still, letting them pass into the store. Once they were engaged at the counter he gave one last glimpse at his friend and sister, and rushed home to check his correspondence.

"I must say Lizzy, it was fortunate that you could get that new dress made for you. It is stunning my dear. The deep blue enhances the red glints in your hair."

Elizabeth smiled gratefully at Charles. Not all brothers took notice of when their sisters needed that extra bit of encouragement. She knew she was extremely fortunate in having such a considerate brother.

Elizabeth was dressed in a deep blue, almost sapphire evening gown. The matching ribbons that were weaved throughout her curled hair and long black evening gloves made Lizzy look every bit the eligible young lady that she was.

They quickly made their way to the little gathering, which turned out, to Charles' surprise to be rather larger than their hostess led him to believe. It seemed that quite a few ladies and gentlemen had arrived in London recently and had been promptly invited along as well.

Many young gentlemen openly admired Elizabeth, and Charles was quite worried for his sister, especially when he started hearing people murmur who she was and how much she was worth. It had been quite a while since his sister and he had attended a London event together and he had forgotten how much trouble it was to keep an eye on every young man who approached Elizabeth. Charles knew however, that he could trust to Elizabeth's judgment, however much recent events pointed to the contrary, and relaxed enough to spot and converse with a few of his friends from his club. Quite a few ladies were disappointed that the usually affable Mr. Bingley seemed to be more interested in his friends company than theirs, and wondered who the lucky lady to have captured him was. This of course meant that Elizabeth was swamped with introductions and invitations to dance and converse. As much as their false pretence annoyed her, she had to admit it kept Mr. Darcy from her mind.

She then spotted a familiar form, as he hurried to greet her.

"My dear Miss Bingley, how stunning you look tonight! I did not know you and your brother were attending this little party, when did you arrive back in London?"

Elizabeth laughed, "That would make you the twenty fourth person to ask me such a question, Mr. Willoughby, but since I know you are not one to be interested in knowing whether there is a young lady that has snatched my brother from the pool of eligible bachelors and who she is, I believe I can answer your other questions without fear!"

Mr. Willoughby bowed low and offered her his arm as they moved towards a quieter location.

"Charles and I did not plan to be in London at all this evening, but he found he had business to attend to and decided to leave his new estate in Hertfordshire to attend to it."

"Indeed? I had heard that Bingley finally found himself an estate."

"It is only temporary at the moment, he is merely leasing it for a year to determine if he wishes to settle there."

"And?" he raised an eyebrow.

Elizabeth smiled archly, "And what, Mr. Willoughby?"

"And, would his stay depend upon a certain lady's residence in the neighbourhood?"

Elizabeth lightly slapped him on the arm, drawing attention to themselves. Willoughby quickly asked Elizabeth for a dance, and during the dance she proceeded to tell him a brief account of their stay at Netherfield.

"Well, Miss Elizabeth, you have been busy since I last had the pleasure of seeing you." Willoughby stated as the dance ended, and he drew her towards some refreshment. "I hear that your talents on the pianoforte have excelled that of most accomplished ladies of the Ton, and that you draw very well. Did you have a pleasant stay in France before the... unpleasantness arose?"

"France was beautiful. It is such a shame that there is so much squabbling over titles. But I will not be drawn into a political debate with you, Mr. Willoughby! I know only too well that you have little taste for such discussions."

"Ah, as usual Miss Bingley, you have seen through me." and he bowed charmingly before her. Thus he failed to notice the pale face of a certain young lady of his acquaintance across the way. This beautiful, for she was beautiful, young lady was attired carelessly, as if she expected little pleasure from such an evening, and clutched at, what Elizabeth could only guess, her sister's arm as she glimpsed Willoughby.

Seeing that Elizabeth bore a puzzled expression, he followed to where her gaze rested and was instantly panic stricken. Here was his beloved Marianne witnessing his flirtations with another woman. And he was purposely flirting with his old acquaintance, Miss Elizabeth Bingley, because he was in desperate need of some money, and her twenty thousand pounds would do quite nicely if Miss Grey was not inclined to accept him.

But he never wished to hurt Marianne, and since he was certain she had a deep regard for him (why else would she write such letters to him?), he was deeply disturbed at being caught in such a state.

Elizabeth quickly saw that both she and he were acquainted, quite intimately by the look of things, and since Elizabeth really did not care too much for the hopeless flirt, she quickly prodded him in abandoning her to go and speak with his friends.

Charles, who had become slightly alarmed at seeing Willoughby near his sister, reached her as he was leaving, and escorted her back to his own friends. Charles had been chatting amiably amidst his happy recollections of Jane Bennet, when his friend Mr. Dixon had pointed out Elizabeth and Willoughby. Charles had not worried at first, having known Willoughby for quite a while as a harmless flirt, until Dixon had quietly informed Charles on some of the rumours that were floating about regarding him. Therefore he was extremely happy to have Elizabeth safely back by his side once more.

Darcy, who had made his entrance at some stage during Elizabeth's dance with Willoughby, was relieved to see her away from that scoundrel. Darcy had more recently encountered John Willoughby at a similar party, where he attached himself to every lady who had any form of dowry, and to see Elizabeth in his arms was almost too much to bear. His concern and envy had almost made him cut in on their dance, but he had persevered in keeping hidden in the corners of the room.

But not for long. His hostess was overjoyed that someone of Mr. Darcy's calibre (rich and single) had deigned to join her party, so she was determined to make a scene, and hope to be noted in the fashionable gossip sections of the newspapers.

"My dear Mr. Darcy!" exclaimed Mrs. Brackley, "Why do you hide here in the corner? Please, allow me to introduce you to my good friends!"

Darcy nearly groaned as he was led about by Mrs. Brackley, and was introduced to every mother and daughter in the room. He only came to see Elizabeth, and he could do that in peace and quiet in one of the corners of the room. The necessity of being polite forced him to lose track of what Elizabeth was doing and who she was talking to. He was as curt as his natural politeness would allow, although he attempted to be slightly more pleasing since Elizabeth's condemnation of his social abilities last night, and still the ladies would not leave him alone!

He started to become desperate, when relief was found in the least expected place.

"Why Mr. Darcy! I thought it was you! Please come and see my brother, he will be absolutely delighted to see you here." Elizabeth quickly attached herself to his arm, and drew him away from the seven drooling young ladies that had clustered about him.

Giving a quick bow to the said ladies who were looking daggers at Elizabeth's retreating back, he did not know whether to hug her right there, or whisk her away to a balcony to hug her. In the end he decided that a hug, however much he wanted it, would not be the most appropriate thing in such a crowded room.

Elizabeth, meanwhile, had noticed with shock Mr. Darcy being introduced to all the ladies in the room by their hostess, and once the amazement had worn off, she saw the cornered look in his face, not to mention the predatory gleam in the faces of those that surrounded him. Without thinking too much about what she was doing, nor even why she was doing it, she had quickly planned a way to escort him away.

"Charles," Elizabeth smiled to her brother. "Look who I found!"

"Darcy! My goodness man! I did not expect you to be here!"

Darcy was slightly uncomfortable at such a happy greeting from the man whom he had wronged so much yesterday. He was doubly amazed that the woman he had offended so deeply had actually freed him from captivity.

"Err ... hello Bingley. I found Mrs. Brackley's invitation when I arrived home, and thought I might attend." Swallowing nervously, he continued babbling. "I decided, in light of recent, umm ... enlightenment into my character, that I should ... hmm ... try to mix a bit more in society." It wasn't entirely false. Darcy had meant to try to improve his demeanour and social skills, he just wanted to see Elizabeth more urgently.

"Why Darcy!" laughed Dixon who had overheard their greeting. "I have never heard, nor found you to be anything other than charming and pleasant. A little on the quiet side, but polite to a fault! I don't know how you put up with all the matchmaking mammas!"

Darcy grimaced slightly at this exclamation. "Well, I don't know if I am always polite, Dixon. I rather think that the ladies overlook whatever snubs I may give them due to my other recommendations."

Dixon laughed heartily. "Well now, whoever knows you for who you are, can think nothing but the best of you. But I shant keep you listening to an old married fool prattling on, I see Mrs. Dixon needs some saving from yet another young Miss who wishes to be noticed by her!" And with that, Mr. Dixon was off, leaving a slightly uncomfortable trio.

Elizabeth was trying to think of some way to remove herself from their company, but all the friends who had clustered around before were engaged with other acquaintances.

Bingley was likewise thinking of how to leave his friend and sister alone. He knew they needed to get beyond this first awkward meeting after such outbursts yesterday, especially since he wished Darcy to be his best man at his wedding.

Darcy was torn. He wanted to stay, he wanted Elizabeth to stay. He needed to apologise, and yet at the same time, he wished for her miles away, albeit still in his sight, so he could think of some way to beg forgiveness.

They were saved from starting a conversation by a commotion. It seemed a young lady was being escorted, held up by two friends, towards the door. Elizabeth noted with interest that it was the same lady she had seen produce such an interesting reaction out of Mr. Willoughby.

Mr. Darcy, knowing the older lady slightly as Mrs. Jennings, immediately went to their aid, inquiring urgently if they needed any assistance. Mrs. Jennings thanked him profusely, saying that it was merely the heat, and some unpleasant hullabaloo that caused her young friend to feel quite faint.

"I can call for my carriage to come round, if need be. You can send it back for me whenever you are finished with it. Truly, she does look very ill."

Mrs. Jennings smiled under her burden. "Thank you, Mr. Darcy, you are extremely kind, but I am sure Miss Dashwood (with a slight nod to the other lady) and I can get her sister safely into our carriage. My son-in-law is here if we need any further assistance. Thank you again!" she hurried off with Marianne Dashwood.

Elizabeth who had also hovered around behind Darcy was amazed at this display of charity. What she found most disturbing was that his friends (including her brother), and Mrs. Jennings did not blink in amazement at his help. It seemed as if it was a common occurrence for Mr. Darcy to offer his help. She again was amazed when she overheard Mr. Dixon, who had returned by this time, relate to his wife "typical Darcy, always the first to help anyone in need! Remember that time at Lord Ingram's party when one of the servant's nose started bleeding. He promptly called for assistance and rang for the doctor."

Mrs. Dixon laughingly agreed, "Mr. Darcy has always been generous and kind to the noble and servant alike. But my dear, I was wondering if we could not retire, I fear I am quite tired, and it is awfully hot in this room. It is no wonder that the poor girl fainted!"

Mr. Dixon willingly complied with his wife, and quickly bade everyone a good night.

Elizabeth was shocked. How much had she misjudged Mr. Darcy? But then again, if he is so affable and wonderful, why was he not more considerate in Hertfordshire? Elizabeth was thoroughly confused. Who was the real Mr. Darcy? Elizabeth had no answers; she only had the need to know.

The next day passed uneventfully, except for the fact that Charles finally decided on a simple but elegant engagement ring for Jane. Elizabeth had to keep reassuring Charles that it was beautiful and that Jane would love it. The rest of the day was spent preparing to leave London for Hertfordshire. Elizabeth and Charles visited their sister and brother-in-law, to invite them back to Netherfield, but Louisa, still put out with the fact that Elizabeth and Charles had gone against her wishes regarding Jane Bennet, decided to snub them and refused to return.

Elizabeth could not honestly say she was sorry for it.

But Charles had a further dilemma. He wished for Darcy to come back to Netherfield with him, but how was he to invite him with the awkwardness between Lizzy and himself? Charles still rankled at some of the nasty comments that Darcy had spoken regarding Jane Bennet, and had hoped for a further apology. Still, he was a humble man, and decided that he would visit Mr. Darcy at his Townhouse late in the afternoon to tell him of his departure. Whether Mr. Darcy would be invited to Netherfield, Bingley decided to play by ear.

But Darcy saved him the trouble of visiting by coming to pay his respects himself.

Darcy was still ashamed at his own behaviour and knew that it was going to take more than a few words to make it up to Charles, and Miss Jane Bennet. The damage he had done to his relationship with Elizabeth, he tried not to think about.

Thus he took himself to Bingley's townhouse to apologise once again for his behaviour and comments to Bingley.

Bingley asked the servant to lead Mr. Darcy into his study, where he had been sitting, composing proposals in his mind.

"This is a bit of luck Darcy! I was going to visit you later today!" Bingley rose and shook the older man's hand.

Darcy was surprised that Bingley would have visited him today, and said so. "I do not deserve such a friend as you Bingley. Knowing my own disposition, once my good opinion of a person is lost, it is lost forever. You never fail to amaze me- you are very forbearing and forgiving!"

"Have a seat Darce, and do not concern yourself so much. I do not hold words said in a fit of temper against a friend."

Darcy complied with the request, and thanked him when Bingley passed him a brandy.

"It is not only my behaviour towards you last night that I feel myself inclined to apologise for, however Bingley. I see now that my behaviour to you has always been friendly, but I rarely acted with in your best interests, but rather my own. No Bingley, please, let me say this." Darcy asked as he saw Bingley on the verge of interrupting.

Bingley reluctantly agreed.

"I have always been a proud man, full of the sense of my own self worth. In befriending you, a tradesman's son, I was not simply doing it out of your own self worth, but as if to pride myself on my broadmindedness and generosity. Later I truly enjoyed your company, but there was always a distinction between us. You were very trusting and open with me, I was less so. When I could have used a friendly shoulder to lean on with my sister's troubles, I denied myself the weakness. You were extremely supportive of me when my father died, and yet I took the burden entirely upon my shoulders without reference to anyone else. Some may say this is admirable and responsible, but I see now that it stunted my growth as an individual and perhaps caused many rifts to form between my family, especially Georgiana, and my friends and myself."

He paused to take a slow drink of his brandy.

"I do not know if I have ever been a true friend to anyone. I have many good friends- my cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam and yourself, and yet, I never gave of myself freely in return. When you invited me to Netherfield, desirous of your best friend to approve of your new lease and enjoy your company, my pride was flattered, and I willingly came, with the notion of showing you how to run an estate. It was more me showing you how to run an estate than teaching you the basics and letting you learn for yourself. And I apologise Charles. I apologise for the many times where I have dragged you to Balls and Assemblies that I had no wish to attend, let alone thinking of your wishes, in order to introduce you to polite society." Darcy laughed mirthlessly, "I was almost as bad as any mamma in society- proud of their charge and wishing to set them up handsomely."

Charles chuckled at the thought of Darcy behaving similarly to a Mrs. Bennet.

"My dear boy!" he began, "truly you have never dragged me anywhere I was not happy to attend. I thank you for your apology, but really think you are being too harsh upon yourself. You have had much to deal with, and have taken much responsibility upon your shoulders and dealt with it gracefully."

Darcy bowed his head at his friend's resistance to his guilt.

"And what of my behaviour in Hertfordshire? I don't think even you can call it graceful! I was rude and arrogant and proud! I am heartily ashamed of my behaviour. I am sure my mother and father would be most displeased if they witnessed it!"

Bingley was hard pressed to disagree. He had made several rude remarks regarding the families of the neighbourhood.

"And what I said about Miss Jane Bennet yesterday." Darcy felt shame. "I was more than rude, I was ungentleman-like. Please believe me when I say it was partly due to a fit of anger- anger at your stubbornness in not listening to me, and your sister's defense. I truly do not believe Jane Bennet to be mercenary. I wish to apologise for my words yesterday, and hope you may forgive me."

Bingley felt some satisfaction at this heart-felt declaration. But he could not be happy in the sight of his friend's pain.

"And..." Darcy nearly choked on his words. "And what I did to your sister ... please believe me Charles- it was a moment of weakness. I would never wish to hurt your sister. I ... know you have every reason to throw me out of your house and never wish me near again, but I promise to ... well, there is no use in promising anything. I know I should never approach her again."

Why can I not take back the past? I would do everything so much differently now.

Bingley had never thought Darcy to be so melodramatic. He even rivalled Louisa. Bingley could see, having been in love for some time, that his friend had a very deep admiration for his sister, and he could not be happier for it. To think that his best friend may become his brother made Charles very happy. Of course, he knew that Darcy would have to make amends with his sister, but judging from her reaction last night at the assembly and her persistence in wanting to know whether he had regretted the attempted kiss, made him believe that she was not so indifferent to Darcy as she led him to believe.

"Mr. Darcy," Charles said formally, making his friend concerned, "I do not attempt to hide the fact that I was displeased at what you said two days ago, but again, I am willing to believe it was a fit of temper, and we all are human. Do not be too proud to admit that you do not have times when you get... irritated." The men smiled slightly. "I also believe that you are honourable, and do not doubt you when you say that you never intended to ... err ... kiss Elizabeth. I also know that Elizabeth can look after herself, as I am sure you are aware of by now. But really Darcy, as much as I am interested in what happens between my best friend and my sister, I really feel that you should be making your apologies to her." If they are even needed Charles thought to himself, wondering if it was very brotherly to simply lock those two in a room together.

"Now then, with all that unpleasantness out of the way, I accept your apologies, even if I think you don't need to apologise for half of what you did, and I was wondering whether you were coming back to Netherfield with Lizzy and I tomorrow?"

Darcy's eyes widened. "Tomorrow did you say? You are leaving tomorrow?" He was torn in two. He desired to be near Elizabeth as much as possible, wanting to prove himself in her eyes, and yet, tomorrow ... tomorrow was not so far away. Did he have the courage?

"To be sure- I said to my housekeeper that I would be three days in London, and it has been three days." Charles chuckled at Darcy's perplexed look. "Besides, I think this engagement ring is burning a hole in my pocket! I really would feel safe to give it to the woman who owns it before I lose it!"

"Yes, you would" Darcy replied absently.

"Well?" Charles prodded. "Are you coming with us? Would you like to travel in the carriage or ride? I do not know what I shall do. It doesn't seem like it will rain, so it might be nice to ride through the country side."

"Umm, yes." Darcy was still struggling with himself.

"Splendid then!" Charles exclaimed, taking that as his answer. "I will pick you up at your place at ten tomorrow?"

"Ten?" Darcy was a bit stunned. "No, Charles, I really cannot go with you. Georgiana was so happy that I had come to visit, that I should spend some more time with her."

"Oh Miss Darcy is in London? Well then, I happily extend the invitation to her as well. I am sure you will be happy to have your sister with you."

Darcy collected himself. "No, please Charles, I would feel better if I did not come back with you to Hertfordshire. I am not ready to leave London. It is most generous of you to invite Georgiana along, but considering certain officers in the neighbourhood, I do not feel comfortable in having her along."

Charles nodded, understandably disappointed at his friend's decision. "And so it is only Miss Darcy and your fear of her bumping into Wickham that keeps you away from our company?"

"Yes, of course."

Charles raised his eyebrow.

Darcy became slightly uncomfortable at his knowing look.

"Damn you Bingley! I also am not prepared to see your sister yet. I would do everything in my power to save Elizabeth any pain. I am sorry, Miss Bingley. I don't think she will wish my presence. Plus," Darcy continued, cutting off Bingley's predictable negative answer, "I really should let you court your lovely Miss Bennet without seeing to the comfort of your guests."

Bingley's eyes started to gaze dreamily at the thought of his lovely Jane.

Darcy rolled his eyes with humour.

"So you will come later? I am planning on you to stand up with me for my wedding."

"Bingley! Do you really want me, after all that I have done! Me to stand up with you, and be your best man?"

"To be sure Darce! Who else would I have? Although I fear that Miss Caroline may be the maid of honour. I am sure that will be sufficient punishment for any sins you may have committed."

Charles smirked at Darcy's groan.

"Very well, I will come in a week's time." Darcy started to rise to leave.

"You won't stay for dinner? Very well. But you will bring Miss Darcy with you? I would be most happy to see her at the wedding."

Darcy smiled as he shook his friend's hand. "Of course Bingley. I am sure she will be delighted to attend."

And Darcy went home with a lighter heart, knowing he had gained the forgiveness of one Bingley. It was the other Bingley that would be harder, and more precious, to gain the friendship of. Well you have a week to formulate a plan.

Elizabeth should have felt a certain amount of satisfaction in her brother's triumphant re-entry into Meryton society, but she could not. She felt that she had gained her victory at a high price. Even Jane's happy smile at seeing her beloved in so short a separation was not enough to drive a pair of pained dark eyes from her memory.

But it was done, and done for the best - Charles' and Jane's at least. Charles suggested a walk the day of his return since it was such pleasant weather, and Mrs. Bennet quickly urged Mr. Collins and her other daughters to go out to keep Miss Bingley company. Caroline, Kitty and Lydia refused to go however. The latter two were hoping to go into Meryton, whilst nothing could persuade the former to act pleasantly to her rival. She was still sore about not dancing with Mr. Darcy, whilst Eliza Bingley had danced the waltz with him!

Whilst they were walking, Mr. Collins remembered himself and walked behind with his cousin Mary, whom Elizabeth found out was lately engaged to him. Jane smiled cheekily at Elizabeth when she explained that she had been his first target. Elizabeth, equally cheekily inquired as to why Caroline, second in consequence, accomplishments and beauty, was not second on Mr. Collins' list, "for they had seemed quite attached the day I was first introduced to him at Meryton."

Jane laughed, "perhaps they had, but I believe had it not been for mamma's strong liking of Caroline, as well as some strong comments on her behalf, she would have been. But Mr. Collins' affections easily turned to Mary to everyone's satisfaction. He applied to Mary and papa yesterday and was accepted."

"Well, Miss Mary seems to enjoy his attentions, so perhaps your mother was wise. I do not think Miss Caroline would have been as happy."

"No," Jane replied, "I think mamma has her heart set on Caroline making a better match, or at least that is what Caroline convinced her of. I am simply happy for Mary- Mr. Collins will make her a good husband, and she a ministers wife. Mama is also overjoyed to have a daughter being married."

"I can imagine." Elizabeth laughed.

But Elizabeth did not wish to take all of Jane's attentions and so left her and Charles to wander slightly behind as she, feeling very much the martyr walked with Mary and Mr. Collins.

Her efforts paid off however when Jane and Charles, after having conveniently been detained near a shady tree, quickly caught up asking for congratulations. Jane was positively radiant and hugged her dear friend, soon to be sister, in joy.

"'Tis too much! By far too much- why can't everyone be as happy as me?"

Lizzy smiled indulgently, and moved to congratulate her brother whilst Jane received Mary and Mr. Collins' best wishes.

"She loves the ring, Lizzy." Bingley smiled broadly as Elizabeth hugged him.

"I am glad. I told you she would."

He let her go, "If only I could see you so happily situated yourself." he wished, knowing a certain gentleman who would gladly fill the role.

Elizabeth smiled fondly, "til I have your and Jane's goodness, I cannot have your happiness."

He laughed and shook his head.

It was a happy party that made its way back to Longbourn. Charles immediately went to apply to Mr. Bennet, whilst Jane told her mother. The entire neighbourhood probably heard Mrs. Bennet's shouts of joy.

"Oh Jane! I knew you could not be so beautiful for nothing! To think I shall have two daughters married whilst Lady Lucas has none!" she chuckled gleefully the rest of the day, and as Elizabeth and Charles were to stay to dinner, Elizabeth resigned herself to laughing with Mr. Bennet at his wife's silliness.

Continued In Next Section