Part 1
It is a truth universally acknowledged that university students who join Christian societies are strange, intolerant and even a little depraved. This truth was acknowledged in Regency times and, unfortunately for Elizabeth Bennet secretary/treasurer of Longbourn University's own Christian Union, was also recognised more than three hundred years later.
"Don't look so down, Liz," Bill Collins, CU president and wannabe vicar, smiled as he returned to their stall bearing plastic cups full of watery Carling. "Freshers Fairs are always slow starters for the religious unions. Mark my words, this time tomorrow we'll be raking them in!"
Elizabeth snorted by way of response. "Yeah right. We haven't had three people sign up in five days but everything will be better tomorrow. Honestly, Bill, get real! Hell, even Charlotte's bagged more members than us and Hindus are supposed to be a minority-"
"In this town? I don't think so. There are more Pakis here than-"
"Bill!" Elizabeth snapped almost as soon as Bill uttered the dread P-word. "You're not supposed to call them that. Jesus Christ, have some respect!"
"I have respect," Bill muttered glancing down into his paper cup. "Charlotte is my girlfriend, you know."
"As she keeps reminding me, over and over again," Elizabeth said dryly as she swirled her cup of beer. In fact, Charlotte had said nothing of the sort-she was too busy gushing about her Chemistry lecturer, a Dr Fitzwilliam, to even mention Bill unless it was strictly necessary; and since neither Charlotte nor Elizabeth deemed Bill to be necessary, needless to say, he was hardly ever talked of. Of course, Elizabeth could not tell him that; her post within the Union was all that was holding up the work experience subsection of her CV.
"The problem with you is that you're far too PC for your own good. They don't mind calling themselves Pakis so why should we?"
Before Elizabeth could answer, a tall blonde haired man appeared almost out of nowhere along with another equally blonde companion and a tall glowering brunette. Elizabeth didn't need to see their scowls to know they had overheard Bill; and sighing, she rose to try and contain some of the fallout.
"I-"
"Save it," The brunette cut her off rather coldly. "I'm not interested in anything you two bigots have to say about anything. Charles?" He looked toward the blonde man who nodded quite vigorously. Within moments they were gone, moving on to the next stall and leaving Elizabeth feeling quite foolish.
"I knew. I just knew coming here was a bad idea. Just what were you thinking applying to an agricultural college? They're all nothing but bad-smelling, prejudiced, sheep-shaggers out here and-"
"Caroline-" Charles tried to warn his sister off her tirade but it was no use. Once she got started on something, it was very difficult for her to stop, especially if the cause was justified; which, he had to admit, in this case it was- at least partially. Still, it wouldn't do to alienate everyone in the college just because of Caroline's prejudices. "They're not all bad. What about that nice girl in the Milkmaid's Union-Jane was it? -She was quite lovely."
"She was just one person, Charles," Caroline scowled angrily as she pushed past a woman distributing flyers. "One person doesn't make a revolution. What do you think Fitz? You, of all people, must see what a shit-hole this place is!"
"What I think doesn't matter. If it did, we would not be here at this moment," Fitz Darcy sniffed as he ran a hand through his raven curls, before suddenly turning accusingly towards Charles. "I can't believe I postponed Georgiana's birthday dinner to accompany you to this place."
"Look, it's not all bad." Charles said, running a hand through his hair. "Sure, there are some undesirable elements; but this uni is the best place to study horse breeding and both of you know it. I need to do this, and it's only for a year. Once I get my diploma-" Before Charles could continue, Caroline snorted derisively. "What?"
"Longbourn is hardly Cambridge, Charles. Any diploma from this dump is probably not worth much in the real world. Besides, you're already a vet. That's all that counts."
"If it did then I wouldn't be unemployed right now would I?" Charles asked sighing loudly. "Besides-" He continued, as they approached their car; his tone becoming slightly more wistful than it usually was. "Jane was really quite lovely-"
Part 2
"It was horrible!" Elizabeth wept inconsolably against Charlotte's brand new, and incredibly expensive, Coast blazer. "He called me a bigot and then walked away-oh God, Charlotte! I've never seen anyone look at me so disgustedly before. I felt like a fool. An incredibly racist, blubbering fool!"
"There, there," Charlotte, or as she was known by her parents, Shyaani, tried to console her. "Both of us know that Bill's cornered the market on racist blubbering fools. I still can't believe he said that; actually I can. That man has no concept of anything outside of that bigoted little brain of his-but that's neither here nor there. You poor, poor girl; having to take the blame for one of his comments-you know, this would never have happened if you had joined the Hindu Union like I told you to."
"I'm not Hindu, Charlotte," Elizabeth whined as she reluctantly let go of her friend.
"So?" Charlotte exclaimed as she ran a hand through her incredibly long and shiny black hair. "Hardly anyone is, you know. We have Muslims, Sikhs, and Jews-granted most of them are male and only joined because they thought they had a chance with moi, but they're there. A Christian would hardly make the world of difference to us."
"But it would to me," Elizabeth sniffed as she wiped her tearstained cheeks with the back of her hand. "It may sound ridiculous but I really want to see the CU work. Dad hasn't been the same since he retired from the vicarage; I thought that by resurrecting the old Union to all its former glory I could make him proud of me. I sound stupid don't I?"
Charlotte sighed. "It's nowhere I haven't been countless times with my own mother and her arranged marriages. But you've got to understand, darling, that in the end they're your parents. They are going to be proud of you no matter what. Besides, you're a vet. At least that's a profession; what do I have apart from my looks, money and wit?"
"Nothing?" Elizabeth laughed as Charlotte pinched her arm. "Ow!"
"Then stop worrying about what some eavesdropping ninny said to you." Although her voice was light, Elizabeth could see the brevity in Charlotte's eyes. "You know who you are, Lizzy, Hell even I know who you are, and you are definitely not a racist. Do you think we'd be such good mates if you were?"
"No," Elizabeth acknowledged reluctantly.
"Good," Charlotte beamed, all traces of seriousness forgotten as she reached out for the pint of ice cream sitting on her coffee table. "Now kick back, relax, ingest some ice cream and let me tell you all about Dr Fitzwilliam's huge-"
"If this is about your sex life I am not going to listen," Elizabeth warned, thinking back to the time Charlotte had described Bill Collins' various parts in extreme detail.
"Sex life? Ha! He should be so lucky! I was actually taking about his attitude problem-honestly; the size of that man's ego has to be seen to be believed-"
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"Do you know what hurts me the most?" Fitz asked as he and Charles unloaded the car outside the latter's new lodgings. Actually, Charles was unloading; Fitz was merely throwing boxes haphazardly across the pavement. "That you didn't even defend me in front of those Christians-and I use the term loosely-at the fair."
Charles winced. "You know I don't like confrontations, Fitz."
"Well, if that isn't the perfect excuse!" Fitz all about growled as he threw Charles' duvet across the grass. Knowing better than to pursue the topic that had gotten his best friend so riled up, Charles decided to change it.
"She was rather nice though wasn't she?"
"Who?" Fitz asked, looking up briefly to see Charles' grin.
"That girl. The one at the CU-"
"Oh, yes." Fitz sighed dramatically. "Apart from her obviously fundamentalist leanings, the girl was a real peach."