Jump to new as of January 27, 2003
Part 1
In the year of our Lord 18-- November 10th
As you know, I am the converted roguish husband of Mary Bennet. I am also the lord and master of Allworthy Estate in --shire. Since I am a rogue no more,I suppose that I should write a new epistle in which I am a gentleman son-in-law in the family of Bennet.
I shall bring you up to date in the occurrences of my tiny, but happy family.
I am not allowed to speak of Mary's condition. It would be ungentlemanly. (Secretly, I hope it is a girl. Another Harry Pip Sterling in the world would be a terrible thing.)
Speaking of juniors, Darcy, as we all call him, is the proud father of a son who acts much like his mother. (Thank God!)
No really, Darcy is good man and a great poker player... of course I taught him all I know. You can take the man away from the cards, but you can't take the itch out of him.
And while I am on the subject on itchy. I am dressed in the height of fashion tonight. Mary and I have been invited to dine with the Lucas' and Collins' at Lucas lodge. I must admit I am nervous in meeting the clergyman that stole my Mary's heart. Of course, I am the one who won her in the end. Sometimes I am so charming I knock my own stockings off!
But, this Collins' fellow, he speaks Mary's language, unlike myself. I sometimes have trouble converting my speech into Fordyce's sermons.
*****
The evening when quite well... Until we left our house. Mary doesn't always feel well in her condition. I think she was also nervous in seeing her old flame. Anyway, everything I did seemed to aggravate her.
Mary: "Harry, must you wiggle so? I am already feeling queasy and you are rocking the carriage. I feel as I am riding on the ocean."
Myself: I am so dreadfully sorry my dear. I think I may have found where I put Darcy's fishing hooks. They are in my back pockets and they are quite sharp."
Mary: "Harry! What were you thinking? Putting sharp things in your pocket.You should know better. Ooooh! what a bump. Please tell the driver to pull over. I am feeling unwell."
*****
My first glimpse of Mr. Collins was not a pleasant one. I walked into the room while he was bending over. There he was in all his glory. I once had a picture of an elephant in a storybook, that memory came flooding into my mind.
I was tempted to put the fishing hooks to a good use, but I was trying to be good.
When he stood up the sight was not much better. He seemed not to walk but to hover, like smoke around whoever would listen to his inane rambling. His breath was terrible. I found myself not noticing what he said because I was dodging the vapors.
What is more, he spit in my face when he said my last name.
I find him too odious for words.
Mary did not feel better. As the evening went on, she felt worse. I am worried. to lose Mary would be terrible indeed. I love her dearly, and who would love me enough to keep me sane and out of trouble?
Harry Sterling
Part 2
Mary was feeling better yesterday. She was alive and banging on the piano forte. Did I ever mention I was a choirboy? When I was 12, I was caught playing poker behind the pews and haven't sung much since... until I wed Mary that is.
She really does love music. I took her to the opera on our honeymoon. I must admit my mind was not on the show, because she was so ravishing.
Today started out well... that shows you how wrong first impressions can be.
Mrs. Bennet came to visit us. That alone is monumental. She usually doesn't leave the house. Her nerves keep her from doing much but complaining. I usually can work her to my favor because of her stubborn oblivious nature, on this occasion however she wrapped me around her little tingling and fluttering fingers.
Mrs Bennet: "Mary, you will not believe who is coming to visit us... Lydia and Wickham! Oh how I long to see my girl and first Grandson! She says he is not only walking but running. He is the perfect image of his father."
Mary:"Then God help him." (I had to snicker. Mary actually made a joke. I must be rubbing off on her.)
Mrs. Bennet:"Yes, and you must help them too! Your father will not let them stay under the roof of Longbourn and they can't stay with Jane and Bingley because he will not have them either."
Myself: "Perhaps they could stay at the inn near town. It is quite cozy."
Mrs Bennet:"At the inn? What would people say? The Bennets cannot even stand to be around each other?"
(have I ever mentioned that Mrs. Bennet has a voice that could shatter lead? It is one of her many charms.)
Myself: "Yes I suppose it is one of those things where either way, things will not be very good. But wouldn't you rather us and the Wickham family live in peace, than to worry about the mere family reputation?"
Mrs Bennet: (at this point angry and more emphatic.) "So that is your character Mr. Sterling. To throw the deserving out in the street. Perhaps dinner with those Collins' has made you feel high and mighty indeed. But let me remind you that you are a rogue and you will always be one. Just because you act like you are harmless doesn't make you any better than Wickham."
Her words hung in the air. I looked at Mary and felt ashamed. She was right. I am no better than Wickham. I looked at the floor and said nothing.
All of a sudden I heard a door slam. But It was not Mrs. Bennet that slammed it, Mary did.
After that outburst Mrs. Bennet did not stay long. When Mary locks herself in her room there is not much to stay for. She left with a final parting remark,
Mrs. Bennet: "I hope you are happy in ruining my daughters life Mr. Sterling."
*****
I knocked on the bedroom door.
Mary: "Is Mama gone?"
Myself: "Yes, but not without destroying every ounce of my pride."
She unlocked the door and lay back down on the bed. I decided to lay down beside her.
Myself: "Do you feel bad?"
Mary:"Yes, I feel awful. My head aches."
Myself: " Do you want me to rub your feet?"
Mary: (nods) "but don't jostle the bed."
I love Mary's feet. They are tiny and white as ivory. Here is a juicy secret, Mary is ticklish.
Mary: " You know that if we ever want to live in peace we will have to let Lydia and George stay. Oh Harry, Lydia has always made fun of me. She has shamed and embarrassed the whole family. She the one sister that I really cannot bear. Doesn't that make me a terrible person?"
Myself: "Why no! None of my brothers and sisters EVER speak to me, and I do not blame them at all."
Mary chuckled. She has a sweet little giggle. That is one thing Lydia Wickham could never make fun of. Mary is surely the sweetest woman of the Bennet sisters.
Harry Sterling
Part 3
In the year of our Lord 18-- November 14th
Today is one of my favourite days of the week. Mary and I go to Longbourn. Mary sews with Kitty, And I play chess with Mr. Bennet.
Mr. B is still prince among men. I hope to pattern my gentleman self after his amiable and intelligent manner. He is teaching me chess which is a rather hard game to master. I am sure I would like it better if I could bet on something.
Mr. Bennet: "Harry will you stop twiddling your thumbs? It distracts me.
( I didn't realize I was twiddling. I swear, sometimes it is hard to be a gentleman. You have to sit so infernally still. As a rogue you are always running somewhere, and usually from someone.)
Myself: " I am so sorry. I think I may get up and stretch my legs."
Mr. Bennet: (waves his hand to tell me to go) "mmmmffffrrrgh... Yes, that will be fine."
Mrs. Bennet has not spoken to any of us lately. She just sends Kitty to deliver her orders. I suppose Mary and I should tell her that we agreed to let the Wickham family stay with us, but the silence has been so... agreeably pleasant.
I decided to walk outside, maybe take a stroll around the garden. I love Longbourn. It is where I wooed Mary. Every nook and cranny has some significant memory of our courtship. The thought of it being entailed to Mr. Collins is a tragedy indeed. Would he ever love it as the Bennets have?
Just as I was pondering such a thought, the portly clergyman began hailing me form the other side of the fence. He was pushing on a gate you should pull open.
Myself: "Other way, Mr. Collins!"
Mr. Collins: "Oh Mr. Sterling, I am embarrassed indeed. I find in you a man who would indeed be an agreeable companion. Lady Catherine de Bourgh who is my patron has suggested that I should have one male companion to discuss hunting and other manly habits. After much thought I have decided that you are quite the manly type, and I would like to become your friend."
Oh la! Did I want to laugh in his face. What kind of a peculiar man was this? To be his friend? That is a blessing I surely do not deserve... or want for that matter. Just when I thought it could not be worse he said,
Mr. Collins: " I am sure you are man of good character."
( I hid my laugh in a cough.)
"With a last name like yours how could you not be of "sterling"character."
He laughed at his own little joke. Here was an excuse to let my poker face slip and laugh a bit. I had been holding my mouth straight so long that my face hurt. Oh la! Did I wish Mary was here. She would be so shocked!
Mr. Collins: " I am sure Lady Catherine would approve of my choice. She is gracious like that." I coughed again. How long would this man talk? If I keep coughing like this he will think that I have the influenza... Wait a minute... that might be to my advantage.
Just then Maria Lucas came to fetch Mr. Collins. But not before he made clear to me that he would come to visit on the morrow. After they both were out of earshot, I began laughing so hard I thought I might hurt myself. I knew I must run in and tell Mary.
As I walked in the door, Mr. Bennet called me into his study. He was extremely excited about his last move. It seems he had me trapped, and he was about to capture my queen. He was waiting for me to move so he could win. Since there was no hope of my winning, I haphazardly moved the little castle up three spaces.
Mr. Bennet "Egad! I didn't see that. Harry, that is a brilliant move. If I don't take your rook, your rook will take my queen. If I do take your rook, your queen will take my queen. By George, Sterling! Good show."
Mr. Bennet studied the board for a full five minutes. It seems I have a talent for chess. I suppose I should actually pay more attention to it. Surely, one could make it a betting game...?
Harry Sterling
Part 4
In the year of our Lord 18-- November 15th
This morning Mary and I were cleaning Allworthy Manor from top to the basement. Not only were we preparing for Mr. Collins' visit, But George, Lydia, and Georgie Jr. were to visit in a few days. Mary and I have never had a child at Allworthy and we were having a wonderful time coming up with worst case scenarios.
Mary: "We must cover the well, so he won't fall in. Lydia almost did that once."
Myself: "Yes and the gun cabinet must remain locked. No matter how mad I get at Wickham for being a rogue."
Mary: "Or if Mama comes back. Last time I considered a warning shot.... (Mary was kidding of course. Around me she lets her hair down. She really has a brilliant sense of humor.)
Myself: " Before and after they come we must count the silver... And you must watch that African stone I gave you for a wedding gift."
Mary: (puts her hand to her necklace.) " Don't I always? I could never bear losing it. It reminds me too much of the diamond in the rough I found. Did I ever tell you about that? His name is Harry Sterling. Do you happen to know him?"
Myself: "You mean that Bible quoting fiend? He is terrible man for a sweet girl like you to know."
Mary: (with mock indigence) " He is NOT a fiend! He is the most handsome, romantic, charming, and funny, gentleman I have EVER had the pleasure to meet. Unlike you!"
How could I not kiss her after that declaration? It would be like turning down an invitation to meet the queen.
It just ISN'T done.
I wracked my brain, trying to think of some manly habits to discuss with a clergyman.
Subjects like, off color jokes, smoking, drinking port, and spitting, seemed a bit inappropriate. What I didn't know was that Collins needed help with something much more important.
When the Collins' arrived, Mary took Charlotte off to tour the house. While William and I decided to bundle up and look in on the stables.
Myself: " So, ummm, Mr. Collins, what manly subjects do you wish to discuss?"
Mr. Collins: "Mr. Sterling, I hope that you are the soul of discretion, you see if anyone that I know finds out about this I will be terribly ashamed."
I did not know what to expect next. I thought about asking him to change the subject, considering the boldness of his manner, I was sure it was a terribly repulsive secret.
Myself: " I will not tell a soul, but can you not discuss it with Charlotte?"
Mr. Collins:" That is the very thing that I am ashamed of! I do not know how to talk to my wife. You and Mary seem so genuinely happy. I want to know, how do you talk to each other?"
Myself:( I smiled with relief.) "We just talk. The important thing to remember about talking is that it only works if you are willing to listen...."
I began telling him about how Mary and I met. She was beyond anything that I had ever imagined. It made me feel so nervous. Sometimes fear of breaking the ice is quite powerful.
He told me about Charlotte. He said that when he first saw her he was shocked that no one had fallen in love with her and married her right on the spot. So, he decided he would. It was quite romantic ... in a Collinsy sort of way, of course.
This made me think, and I said,
Myself: " Have you ever told Charlotte that you think she is an amazing woman? And you appreciate the fact that she would even consider marrying a poor clergyman like yourself?"
Mr. Collins: "Well, err, not exactly. Can you say that again slowly so I can write it down? It sounds like it might do the trick."
Myself:( I nodded) "Writing is a help for me. Whenever I want to sort things out, I write them in my little memorandum book. I acquired this habit when I was courting Mary. Maybe you should list all the things you love about Charlotte and read them every day. That might help. Also it helps to remember to treat her like there is no other woman in the world."
I sat Mr. Collins down, and gave him the basics on how to be a loving husband. I wonder how much he really understood? I decided to finish my little lecture off with a scripture,
Myself: "Then shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife" That means, that you must stop trying to please Lady Catherine so much, and please Charlotte more often!"
He did not like that idea much, but I persuaded him it was the only way that he could really bond with his wife. We discussed many other things.
I find I have severely misjudged Collins. He is just a confused young man, like I have been on many an occasion.
It is amazing what you have in common with people if you just sit down and talk with them. Unless they talk about their fondness of Fordyce's sermons ... That is one fondness I do not share. Harry Sterling
Part 5
In the year of our Lord 18-- November 18th
I never knew sound advice could blow up in ones face ... I seem to learn something new every day, and usually the hard way.
I hadn't heard from Collins in a day, I figured he and his wife were actually enjoying each others company. It is amazing how wrong one can be.
Mary received a note from Charlotte. It seems Collins went a bit overboard, and Charlotte who is not used to such attention got spooked. Now she is asking me to teach him to play cards...
every day...
For the rest of their visit. And Collins sees her word as law, so he will not argue.
Mary gave me an "I told you so." look, but she didn't say anything.
I think she is worried about what Lydia thinks. She told me that Lydia never says anything nice about anyone. She told me to not expect much kindness from either of them. She says that every mercy shown to them, they think they deserve, so they are not very grateful. In short, humility is not their strong point.
Lately I have caught Mary looking at herself in the mirror with a critical eye. Yesterday I walked up to her and said,
Myself: "What are you thinking?"
Mary: "Oh Harry, Lydia had always told me how plain I was. I was thinking I would try a little rouge or some sort of new style with my hair."
(I looked in the mirror at her silently for a moment.)
Mary: "Now, I suppose it is my turn to ask, what you are thinking?"
Myself: "hmmm? I am thinking that I hope our baby is as beautiful as its mother."
Mary: "You are just used to looking at me. I hope the baby looks like you."
Myself: "I could never get used to you. You always amaze me. I love the way your eyes sparkle and change with your mood, and I love the way you get a little crinkle in between your eyebrows when you think I am insane. Like you are looking at me now. You smile so many different ways. Did you know that?"
She looked down for a moment. She was blushing. I decided then and there I would not like Lydia Wickham. Anyone who hurt my Mary is not worth dust in my opinion.
When Collins came over for his card lesson, the man was positively tickled pink! He thought that he was making progress.
I didn't have the heart to tell him otherwise. What would I say anyway? Mr. Collins, your wife asked me to babysit you because you are scaring her? Obviously that would not do.
Mr. Collins: Oh, Mr. Sterling, You would not believe the wonderful things that have happened since you gave me that advice. Charlotte has spoken to me twice! Both times she sent me on errands for her! She now sees me as a helpmate! I am so pleased!
I felt a coughing fit coming on. Was he really that oblivious? Poor man...
After an hour of trying to teach him to play poker I had another opinion of his nature. Did he purposefully want to break every rule in the game? He likes to hum Hymns while he is playing. The better his hand the louder he hums. It is no challenge at all.
Did I mention he is a mouth breather? I practically have to shovel the peppermint down him or I can't bear to stay in the room. They are staying 2 more weeks. How will I keep from running out of patience?
The exasperated Harry Sterling
Part 6
Today was the dreaded day. Mary and I walked around in a daze all day. You could feel the tension, it hung over our heads like impending doom.
They arrived.....
Well , actually they exploded... like a cannon.
They came in speeding up in a carriage with Lydia almost hanging her head out the window. She was laughing... she is always laughing, we were soon to find out at the smallness of Allworthy. And I thought Caroline Bingley was full of self importance. The woman was full of misguided arrogance and what is worse is that she thinks it is funny!
She jumped out of the carriage with a small, crying, toddler in tow. She looked at Mary and then me and with a giggle she said,
Lydia: "Oh la! Mary, couldn't you do better than marry him? How his ears make me laugh. They are pointed like an elf."
Mary:(ignoring the insult) "Good to see you again Lydia. How was your trip?"
(I had put my hands to my ears without even thinking. I was tempted to look in the mirror and make sure I should not audition for the role of Puck.)
Lydia: Oh la! We are weary from the ride. It seems Georgie, Isn't he droll? Well it seems that he doesn't like to travel. He has been cross and crying the whole trip. I tried to get him to nap but he is too much like me, he will not do what he will not do."
( I noticed that a servant was lifting the bags and setting them to the ground. I decided to go help and get out of this human juggernaut's way.)
Myself: "I think I will help your servant carry the bags."
Lydia: (laughing so hard I was sure she would hurt someone) "that is not a servant. That is my husband George Wickham. Darling, Harvey here thought you were my servant. Isn't that a good joke?"
Myself and Mary simultaneously: "It is Harry not Harvey."
Lydia: Oh la! I think it will take me awhile to correct that mistake. We have called you Harvey the whole trip."
(Somehow, I wanted to apologize for having the wrong name.)
We went in the house with much fear of Lydia's critical nature. It seems strange that an older sister would spend so much time in a younger sister's shadow. Yet Lydia seemed to push her way in front of Mary at every chance. Eclipsing my young bride.
Did I mention I do not like her at all?
As for Georgie. he had been sat down to toddle in on his own accord. He doesn't like anyone but Lydia. He screams bloody murder if Mary or I come near him. Usually children like me, I do not understand such treatment from a little one.
As for Wickham, I am not sure about the man. He seems quite humble and good natured, but I was reminded of the scripture,
St Matthew 7:15 "Beware of the false prophets ,who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves."
Even Collins stayed away from our house today. And I do not blame him one bit.
Harvey errr, I mean, Harry Sterling
Part 7
In the year of our Lord 18-- November 23
For the last few nights Mary and I have not had much sleep. Georgie has kept us up crying. It seems he doesn't like sleeping in a stranger's house just as much as he doesn't like travel. Lydia sings to him (off key) all night long. How do she and Wickham stand it?
Last night Mary and I had a heart to heart talk about being parents.
Mary: "Do you think we are capable of raising a child?"
Myself: " I don't know, I was thinking the same thing actually."
Mary: "I suppose every child is different. Our child may be Georgie's complete opposite."
Myself: "True, true. And your parents are grand. So I think we have half a chance."
Mary: "What about your parents?"
Myself: "They weren't around much, so I don't know. I knew My Auntie quite well... she was a great woman. Kept me out of trouble as long as she was alive. She was a lot like you. I loved her dearly."
Mary: " So we both have someone we can look up to. That is a good sign."
Myself: " I suppose so..."
Mary: " Now all we need is a name for him..."
Myself: (interrupting her) "her, the baby is a her."
Mary: (looks at me with mock unbelief ) "tell me Mr. Sterling, Do you know something I don't?"
Myself: "Yes! And that is one Harry Sterling is more than enough. The Lord has enough wisdom to know that. It will be a girl as sweet as you."
Mary: I think there will never be enough Harry Sterlings. I am quite partial to him.
Isn't Mary a darling? Even at frightful o'clock in the morning.
********
Lydia and Wickham go to see Mrs. Bennett during the mornings, and they stay there pretty much all day. Usually Mary and I take a nap, and then Collins comes to play cards but today we made a dreadful mistake...
Like all women in her condition Mary craves certain things. Her main food right now is licorice candy. Somehow, I was sure I had stocked up when I went to town last, but somehow every candy was missing. Perhaps Georgie had a snack.
Mary and I totally forgot Collins' visit. It really shouldn't have mattered if he did come by. He would just see we were not home and go back to Lucas Lodge.
It is amazing how much we underestimate the power of evil.
When Mary and I came home we found Collins slumped and sobbing over our dining room table. First of all, we did not know how he got in our house, and second of all, we did not understand why he would be blubbering like a sea lion.
Collins: "I have lost it all! Nothing is left! What am I to do? How can I tell Charlotte or even worse the gracious Lady Catherine De Bourgh?"
Mary and I stood speechless. What could we say? Surely it was not so bad. Surely he is just misinformed.
Myself: "What do you mean Mr. Collins?"
Mr. Collins: " I came for our daily card game, and Mr. Wickham let me in. He was so good natured and friendly, he even told me it was his dearest wish to enter the clergy. He said that you would be back at any moment, so I waited. He persuaded me to teach him how to play cards. At first the game was quite friendly. We were laughing and chatting. We had taken a few straws from the broom..."
Mary: "My new broom?"
Mr.Collins: "I suppose so... I am sorry if it caused any permanent damage. As I was saying, we were playing for straws, and soon the straws were worth farthings, but no matter, I was winning. Next the stakes were a bit higher, but I was still winning. Soon though, I began losing. Not too badly at first. But I have now found that I have lost everything.... including Longbourn."
Mary and I were too shocked to say anything. Longbourn in the hands of the Wickham family? It was too terrible to fathom.
Mr. Collins: "Surely you can help me, Mr. Sterling? You are a man of honor perhaps you can get Longbourn back for me. I will give you anything in return.".
Myself: " I must confess Mr. Collins, I know not what to do. Wickham is clever he would never get into a card game with the likes of me. He would know I am too good. I taught you too many tricks."
There must be a way to outwit Wickham, but how? Imagining Lydia as mistress of Longbourn made my stomach turn. That would only happen if Wickham even decides not to pay his debts with the deed. The worse case is him selling it to a complete stranger. The fate of Longbourn was now in the hands of a Scoundrel. The legacy of the Bennets will be squandered.
"For the want of a nail..." and I am the blinking idiot who forgot the blasted nail!
Harry Sterling
Part 8
For the last few days Mr. Collins has been begging Wickham (in vain) for Longbourn back. He could use legal help and get it back, Wickham legally can' t posses a land entailed to another, but Collins is deathly afraid of a scandal. He says it might get back to Lady Catherine De Bourgh and that would be the end of his humble clergyman days.
He said he would have to make a living at cards and I said... well, you know what I would say to that. I coughed... for 5 straight minutes.
Mary and I have not said a word about this scandal to anyone. I know if I could just learn Wickham's weakness, I could get him to leave Collins alone. But Wickham seems to have no weakness. He does not really seem to love his wife or son particularly. Nor does he have a love for horses or barouches. He has a modest little home that I am sure he could take or leave. He is quite good natured, almost as nice as Bingley, only Wickham is extremely devious. I have never met his type in London. Perhaps rogues are extra- strength in the country?
Mary is getting worried. She thinks we should tell someone who is acquainted with Wickham's dark side. I don't want to tell Mr. Bennet. He already hates Wickham and to bring more fuel to the fire might split the family.
Mary: "Well, perhaps I should write Lizzie. She and Darcy know Wickham quite well. Darcy grew up with him you know..."
Myself: "Yes!!! Darcy! My Dear, you are brilliant! I will write Darcy a faithful narrative of our dealings with Wickham! Perhaps he knows of Wickham's weakness. Every scoundrel has a weakness."
Mary: Oh, really? And what is yours my little former scoundrel?
Myself: I am looking in the eyes of my weakness... She has fine eyes. And cute little nose. And a mouth to set your cap for.
Mary: (laughing) "Then we are in a mess, for you are my weakness too."
****
As for Lydia Wickham, I do not think she knows want her husband has done. Georgie keeps her preoccupied. She is turning him into a spoiled and selfish child. He will not eat, sleep, or do anything productive without Lydia coaxing, cajoling, and persuading him for an hour or so.
Did I happen to mention that he has a diabolical fixation on Mary's cat? Mrs. Bennet was right, He really can run. Especially in the pursuit of the poor feline.
He tried to drown our four-footed friend a couple of days ago. I know because in the attempt to rescue the family pet, (and the family brat) I got myself scratched and bitten.
That was just what Georgie did to me. The cat seems to have forgiven me. Georgie has a permanent grudge. Lydia thinks it is quite droll that we have had cat hair in our drinking water for days.
I do not understand her sense of humor. Somehow, it seems a bit off.
Wickham himself has gotten mad at Lydia recently. She was flirting with a young officer who was visiting Kitty.
(Or so I heard ,when they came home and had a terrible fight.)
Lydia can take care of herself when she is mad enough. Mary had removed all the breakables from their room or I think she would have done George some bodily harm. Not that I wouldn't have enjoyed seeing the scoundrel in some serious pain. Maybe I will luck out and they will kill each other.
That way Collins will not have to worry about his reputation. And Darcy will not have to help us. I won't have to scheme and plot and plan...
What am I thinking? I haven't had a good scandal in a while. Every once in a while even a former rogue must determine whether or not he has lost his touch. Wickham is a perfect adversary. I must say that I will enjoy beating the tar out of him. Especially at his own game.
Harry Sterling
Part 9
Mary and I came close to kicking the Wickhams out of our house today.
It all started with the rain. It was raining sheets today. Lydia did not want to go to Longbourn in the rain. So it was Lydia, Mary, George, Georgie, and I, all together in the same house. Mary decided to make some tea and bake a few goodies while Wickham and I played a little chess. Did I mention that Mr. Bennet gave me my own board?
Anyway, It was all family fun until we realized no one was watching Georgie. Everyone supposed he was torturing the cat which is his main occupation. But Mary in her mercy had put the little fur ball in the barn, away from the baby.
One thing we all know is if Georgie is not crying he is entertaining himself. If Georgie is entertaining himself, it is usually in a naughty deed.
Lydia had taught him how to draw with coal on fireplace wood a few days ago. It kept him scribbling for hours. He has been a little Da Vinci ever since. He has drawn on the floor and the walls and just about anything that he can reach.
And that is how it all started. You see, Georgie snuck into our bedroom and drew all over Mary's opera dress. Mary's dress is a nice pale green which looks so well on her. And Georgie did not stop with the coal. No, he stole a cup of tea and dumped it all down the front of the skirt.
When Lydia found him she laughed and laughed. Somehow she finds Georgie's sins hilarious. While Mary took one look at her favorite dress and started crying.
I heard her crying and left Wickham and the chess game, while I listened in the hall.
Lydia: Oh la Mary! It would not look well on you, the color isn't flattering. I will fix it up and use it for myself. For I can wear such a color well.
Mary: (at this point having all that she can stand) "No
Lydia! You will not ruin my best dress! I would sooner burn it than see it on likes of you!"
Lydia: "Well be that way! Mama always said that you did not have a generous nature. Selfish, Self-righteous Mary! That is who you have always been! I knew you never loved anyone."
Mary: ( very close to yelling) "And what are you? If I am selfish what are you? Who do you love Lydia?"
Lydia: (not sure how to react ) "I... I... love my family. I love you, and all my sisters."
Mary: " You love to make us all feel bad. You have always enjoyed shaming us, Lydia."
Lydia: " I do not! You are just jealous, because I am Mama's favorite, and I was the first to get married."
Mary: " I am not jealous! Why would I be jealous?!"
(At this point Georgie howling.)
Mary: "Georgie! Shut up and find the cat!"
( For weeks we had been trying to get Georgie to quiet down without a struggle. Mary with one sentence, had gotten Georgie to stop crying.)
Lydia: "Never speak to my son that way again Mary Bennet! You have no right to yell at a little child like that. You have no right to tell me, or my son anything."
Mary: "If you do not like it then leave and go back to your home."
(At this point it was deathly quiet. I was waiting and listening to two sisters who should have fought like this a long time ago.)
Lydia:(beginning to cry) " Do you really think that I have shamed the family?"
Mary: (speaking softly) " Lydia, the past is the past. I am not your judge. I love you. You are my sister. How can I look in your face and not see my baby sister staring back at me?"
Lydia: "Mary, can I tell you a little secret? I have always wished I could be good like you. I wished that I would not be so... stubborn."
(Mary walked to Lydia and hugged her)
Mary: " I have always wished that I could laugh as freely as you."
*****
After that, I was sure everything was all right. I returned to my chess game. I looked at George and the board.
How stupid does he think I am? He had moved my pieces while I was gone. I thought about Collins and felt angry. How could he take advantage of nice people so easily? Even when I was a serious card player, I knew that you did not bite the hand that feeds you.
Of course, I let him cheat and win. I figured he would congratulate himself and think I am naive. This would be to my advantage later. Always let your enemy think you are dumber than you really are. The bluff is a most beneficial one.
Wickham: "You are a most challenging chess partner Mr. Sterling. I enjoyed playing with you. I feel I only won by a hair."
(Or by cheating)
Myself: " Yes, well, luck is an elusive thing. It can change with the wind."
Wickham: " How true! I wish I had said such a wise statement."
(Oh! I will enjoy beating him to a pulp later!)
******
It is too soon to hear from Darcy but I keep wishing that his letter had wings. That way I would not have to wait so long. I really need the help. Wickham has not really opened up to me or Mary. I know he is hiding something that could be his downfall. Even Achilles had a heel.
Somehow I feel Darcy is a key element to Wickham's character. Almost like Lydia and Mary, somehow I feel a rivalry or deep envy between the two.
I wish I knew the truth about those two. So then I will not stumble in the darkness.
******
Later on, Mary told me about her fight with Lydia. I told her I had heard part of it on the hall.
Mary: " Do you think I am selfish and self-righteous?"
Myself: " Not at all. I think you are wonderful."
Mary: " What will I do with my dress? I can't save the skirt. It is ruined. I was so heartbroken. It was the one I wore on our honeymoon."
Myself: " I know. Can we not salvage the rest stylishly? We will probably to go to the opera once more before the baby is born."
Mary: "I suppose so, but it will be expensive."
Myself: " We can afford a little luxury every now and then. And you look so well in that pale green. It would be a shame to not show you off in London. You really should get it fixed, and soon. For as soon as the Wickhams leave we will take a trip to the opera."
As soon as this is over, and Longbourn is in the right hands, Mary and I will need a good vacation.
Harry Sterling
Part 10
In the year of our Lord 18--
December 3rd
I heard from Darcy today. I was requested to come to Pemberley immediately. I was going to take Mary but she refused.
Mary: "Harry darling, I don't feel well enough to take a 2 day trip. Plus someone should keep an eye on the Wickhams. I know Lydia, if one of us is not home God only knows what she will do. She is notorious for borrowing things without asking. And she is notorious for not returning them."
Myself: "But Mary, we have never been apart for a whole day since I met you. I don't know if I want to go without you. You are my good luck and best friend. Plus, I happen to be in love with you if that is not enough. I don't know what I will do without you."
Mary: "You will be fine. Darcy and Lizzie are excellent hosts. Remember when we stayed there after our honeymoon? They will take good care of you. Nothing can happen, Harry. I promise you everything is in our favor."
*****
Nothing will happen.... surely.
Famous last words.
I ended up taking a coach with an elderly lady and an obsessive pipe smoker. The elderly lady had a hard time breathing and kept spilling her smelling salt all over me.
As for the odious pipe smoker... I do not mind smokers. But he had trouble keeping it lit. After the old lady coughed and complained, he tried to light it one last time and then threw the pipes contents out the widow.
What none of us knew was it was lit and it caught our luggage on fire.
I am a man who likes to be well dressed. I like my clothes to be well pressed and clean. Call me vain, Call me nit-picky, Call me without a stitch excepting what is on my person, and some singed skivvies I happened to salvage.
It would not be so bad if I did not smell like camphor and burnt horse hair.
We walked to the inn. Lady Catherine would most seriously be displeased. OH NO! Collins is rubbing off on me.
I wonder how Mary will feel when she finds out I visited her richest relatives with only the clothes on my back?
I found Darcy's carriage waiting for me. He and Mrs. Darcy are all kindness. Maybe they will ever loan me a suit, and a bath. If all else fails, I will take a dip in the trout stream. I hear it is quite refreshing...If only it were not winter.
Harry Sterling
Part 11
I know that I am taking much liberty in writing you a message in your memorandum book. But I must confess that I did have some apprehension when I was packing your clothes. I decided to leave you a little note to remember that I am waiting with much impatience for your return and that I love you most fiercely.
St. Matthew 11:28-30
"Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me: for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
All my love and more, Mary Sterling
****
In the Year of our Lord 18--
December 4th
What a wonderful thing to wake up and find. I am so glad I left my journal in my coat pocket. Mary was worried about me. How could I not love a woman like her. She is all heart.
Speaking of all heart, the Darcy's have outdone themselves in generosity. When I got here in the wee hours of the morning Darcy was up and waiting for me; leading me to a room with a blazing fire, and a nice snack. I told him of my luggage and he loaned me 2 of his best suits. His servant helped me bathe and dress. I felt like an emperor.
I played with the baby, who is quite strong willed, and we talked of many things. None of which had anything to do with George Wickham. I was wondering why Darcy had asked me to come so urgently if all we were going to do was visit. Then he asked me into his writing room.
The room was quite tastefully decorated with two writing desks facing each other. Mr. Darcy sat me at one desk while he paced back and forth behind the other.
Mr. Darcy: "Harry, I have read your letter over many times. I do not understand errr... How did he and Mr. Collins get acquainted?"
I explained how the whole thing started. From Collins asking me for advyse to the licorice candy.
Mr. Darcy: (laughing) "The whole thing sounds like a bad comedy of errors."
Myself: "Yes I know, but I am in earnest."
Mr. Darcy: " Well, this is what I know about Wickham." ( he sighed, and his countenance changed to a harder and more serious look.) "George and I grew up together. We were best friends. He was always charming and polite. But he was always hiding things from myself and those he loved. One time, I asked him why was he evading me, we were around one and twenty, and he shouted at me. He said I knew nothing of being poor. That he grew up watching Georgiana and myself having everything. I told him everything that my father gave us, he also gave George. But for some strange reason he saw it as hand-me-down favors."
I nodded and considered the Wickham that had been staying with us. He did not seem proud. Darcy seemed to be the proud one.
Mr. Darcy: " My father still favored young George. Sometimes even more than he favored his own son. But everything I have ever had or will ever have Wickham wanted. But he wanted it on his own terms."
Darcy told me things that I promised would never be uttered outside of the room we were in. I think Mr. Wickham is seriously disturbed. Why else would he be so evil?
*****
Over dinner Mrs. Darcy, Mr. Darcy and I discussed plans on how to get Longbourn back in the right hands. Mrs. Darcy really likes my idea. She says that Wickham deserves what is coming to him. Mr. Darcy however wants to come to Allworthy and help me. I told him I thought I would be alright, and I would write him if I needed any assistance.
They sent me home in their private carriage. I just love the Darcy's, they think of everything.
Part 12
December 7th
My trip went well and without a hitch, except I lost my suit. We had told George and Lydia that I had gone to visit an ailing Aunt and neither suspected anything else. I am still waiting for Wickham to make a move. I am almost sure he trusts me to be as stupid as he thinks.
Tonight, we make our way to the assembly room. And may I say that Mary is, was, and always will be, the most beautiful and well-dressed woman there. While I was gone, she and Lydia repaired the green dress, and now it is better than ever. She wore the African stone I gave her as a wedding gift and she looked like a fairy queen.
Mary and I sang. We sang in front of everyone in - shire, all four and twenty families. Mary is so talented. She even makes me look good.
I decided to play a little whist. While I sat and played Collins came to me.
Mr. Collins: "Mr. Sterling, I hope you have made some headway in my situation. I feel that I will never have peace til I have the deed back in my hand."
Myself: "I have set the trap in place, Mr. Collins. I hope to have finished the first phase tonight. Now laugh quite heartily because Wickham is watching and I don't want him suspecting anything."
Mr. Collins: "laugh? Hmmm? Oh yes!"( at this point he let out an insane giggle that caused everyone in the room to turn and look at us)
Myself: (laughing as if I did not notice all eyes were on us) "Oh Collins you are so witty! To get to the other side! Ha ha! How do you clergymen learn such funny jokes. It must be that witty Lady Catherine." (I slapped him on the back and hoped we both looked halfway sincere.)
We talked a bit more until Charlotte came and whisked him away to meet someone. I know this sounds strange but I noticed a little affection between the two of them. It is amazing how adversity seems to bring people closer to each other.
***
As for Wickham, he did not come near me all night. I think Collins scared him off. I put all my plans aside until the morning. I find I will have to challenge him, instead of waiting for him to challenge me.
When we finally got home, Mary and Lydia went to check on Georgie, and Wickham finally pulled me aside.
Wickham: "Forgive me Mr. Sterling, but Lydia wanted to know where Mary got her necklace. It is quite, errr, unusual."
Myself: "Yes, It is. Funny Lydia should want one. See, I was in a poker game with some Italian or Spanish, or maybe it was Û Well anyway, they were all foreign. And one of the men ran out of money so he put up this farm in Africa. He kept calling it Kinka Solomoan and then he kept saying "Mine, Mine!" like a 2 year old. He seemed such a greedy little man. So, I won the Kinka Solomoan farm and I sent tenants down there to farm it for me, but the land is no good. All we ever find are those rocks like what Mary wears."
Wickham: " How tragic. One must never trust foreigners."
Myself: "You are telling me... I have had a few offers. One I sincerely considered, but I am not sure I trust Mr. Darcy. I never have liked rich noblemen. Especially when they are just showing charity.... ( I paused) I will write my tenants in Africa and ask them to send me another stone for Lydia. Who knows, the girls might find themselves creating a new fashion."
Wickham: ( in a rather preoccupied tone) "who knows...?"
I went in to check on Mary. She was already sleeping like a baby. But I was worried indeed. What was Wickham thinking? How I wish I could get in his mind.
Harry Sterling
Part 13
In the year of our Lord 18--
December 10th
Wickham approached me today...
He asked me about Darcy. (Not that this was a shock.) I was under strict instructions to pretend I hated the Darcys. Darcy himself instructed me so.
Wickham: "So, Mr. Sterling, are you much acquainted with your Brother-in-law?"
Myself: "Bingley? Oh yes! He is a very good man."
Wickham: "Actually I was speaking of Mr. Darcy. I grew up with him you know, We were born in the same parish, in the same park."
Myself: " And what was the proud Mr. Darcy like when he was a wee lad?"
Wickham: "He was much the same, only shorter."
( I laughed at the thought of a miniature Mr. Darcy. Somehow the mental picture didn't exactly fit)
Myself: " I must admit, even though we are brothers by marriage, he has never spoken to me outright, excepting the time he asked about Mary's necklace. I find him quite rude and arrogant. That is why I have not sold him the farm."
Wickham: "Yes, pride has been his friend since childhood. I am sure he had other reasons for acquiring your farm. You were quite prudent in not selling. Actually, I would be interested in making an offer on the land. I have this friend that can make anything grow. Maybe he can give me some tips on how to grow cotton or tobacco. I hear those are quite lucrative. How much did Darcy offer you?
Myself: (pulling out a piece of paper and writing a number on it.) "It was a very high price. I probably should have sold it to him. I just cannot bear the man... He is just so unpleasant.
Wickham: ( looking at the paper with astonishment) "He offered you THAT MUCH?"
Myself: "Insane isn't it? That is why I didn't take the offer. I just knew he had something up his sleeve."
Wickham: "It does seem that way. Well, I do not have this much money, but I can trade you the deed to a very valuable property in this very park. Would you be interested?"
Myself: "Well I must see the Deed and the property."
Wickham: "I respect your good sense Mr. Sterling."
Myself: "Why thank you, Mr. Wickham. I think you an honorable man also."
( "There is no honor among thieves" Proverbs)
~~~~~~~~
After dinner, Wickham placed the deed to Longbourn in my hand. He really did fleece Mr. Collins. The odious scoundrel!
Wickham: " I believe you have seen this property before Mr. Sterling. But I can assure you the deed is bonafide."
Myself: "Where did you-"
Wickham: " Lets just say I had a bit of luck. I was going to save it for Georgie, but I find this Africa thing irresistible. To steal a deal out of Darcy's hand... It is worth selling Georgie's birthright.
Just then we both realized that Lydia had been standing in the doorway and had heard everything we had just said.
Lydia: "George! What a good joke! You have the deed to Longbourn. I will be the Mistress of Longbourn! Oh la! Can't you just see Lizzie and Jane's face?"
Wickham: "Lydia go in the other room, this is a Man's business."
Lydia: "I will not! Not unless you promise you will give me the deed to Longbourn."
Wickham: "Alright, Alright! I will after Harry has a good look at it."
Lydia: (speaking to me) "Keep an eye on him Harvey, he is a lot brighter than he looks. Oh la! What a joke!"
And with that she left.
Wickham: (rather embarrassed) " I will think of a way to humour her. Don't worry I will gladly trade ."
Myself: "I understand, Women have no sense of business."
Wickham: " Especially Lydia, she is adorable but she hasn't a brain in her head."
I laughed and with one stroke of the pen by both myself and Wickham we made a deal. We shook hands and Wickham said.
Wickham: "Now that every thing is legal and quite dealt with, I must confess that I've got the upper hand, Mr. Sterling. You see the man was trying to tell you that you had won a diamond mine. King Solomon's Mine to be exact. Mary's rock is an uncut Diamond. You have just thrown away a fortune."
~~~~~~~~~~
I just laughed and walked away. When I crossed the hallway Mary stopped me.
Mary: " Did he fall for it?"
Myself: " Hook, line, and sinker. It is amazing what you can sell to a jealous man."
Mary: " Just what did you sell to that jealous man?"
Myself: " Mr. Darcy was kind enough to acquire me some African swamp land. Six months out of the year it is under water the other months it is covered in snakes. The latter will be good company for Mr. Wickham."
Mary: "Yes, snakes are just his social level."
We laughed for a moment and then Mary asked,
Mary: "Harry, where did you get my diamond?"
Myself: "Well Mary, When I sold off my properties in London and abroad, I found I had a little money left over. I wanted to buy you something ostentatiously beautiful, but I knew that you would never let me buy you anything very expensive. So, I bought your diamond, and decided not to tell you it was real."
Mary: (in a loving tone) You really are a rogue, did you know that?"
Myself: "Thank you my dear."
Actually, I am glad to have this all over with. Now, I only have to deal with Collins. There is something I must settle before I return the deed to him.
Harry Sterling, Master Rogue
Part 14
In the year of Lord 18--
December 13th
I rode to Lucas Lodge this morning. The air was cold, damp and crisp. I found that Collins had been waiting for me for days. He led me into the parlor as I told him the way I tricked Wickham into trading the deed.
Mr. Collins: " How brilliant Mr. Sterling! How did you come up with such a strange name? King Solomon's Mines? That is so poetic. I daresay even the Great Lady Catherine de Bourgh would think so."
Myself: "Mr. Collins have you ever heard the phrase "What can you do with a drunken Sailor early in the morning" ? Well, I knew this one chap in London, Bertie Barrymore Slyman, what a mouthful. But anyway, old Bertie sold African swamps to sailors of ill repute early in the morning for years. Seems Bertie found a niche when he used the King Solomon angle."
Mr. Collins: (not really sure what to say) "That... is, err fascinating..."
Myself: "Yes, well it kept a family of nine children fed."
(Collins nodded.)
Myself: "There is something I need discuss with you Mr. Collins. If I give you this deed back and Mr. Bennet should have a fatal injury, God forbid, will you and Mrs. Collins move in on Mrs. Bennet? Because if Mrs. Bennet does not live in Longbourn til the day she dies... I might just have to tell the whole story to her Ladyship..."
Mr. Collins: "No, No, No, Mr. Sterling I assure you, As long as Mrs. Bennet is alive she will reside at Longbourn."
Myself: "Mr. Collins would you be so kind as to put that in writing? "
Mr. Collins ( in an irritated tone) "Surely I will."
******
The Wickhams left us today. I think that George is scheduling a trip to Africa. I wish him luck.
He decided to make sure I did not have an ill will toward him. ( I am so glad I scammed him!)
Wickham: " I hope you do not think too badly of me Mr. Sterling."
Myself: "Why no, Mr. Wickham why would I think badly of you. You saw a good deal and snatched it up." (You cad !)
Wickham: "I will never forget you Harry." (Hah hah! You surely won't!)
Myself: "Nor I you, George."
Mary took the left over scraps from her dress and made Georgie a toy cat to take with him. She is kindness indeed.
Georgie cried when he had to leave. He seemed to genuinely love Allworthy. He even said his first word, Kitty Cat. It kind of sounded more like ticky tat but it was a good attempt. Even Lydia cried when she had to leave. She wished that she did not have to leave Mary and Harvey's house.
******
After they were gone, Mary and I sat down and rested. It felt like the tension that had been weighing us down for months was lifted off of us.
Mary: " Do you think that Wickham will be angry with us for selling him something worthless?"
Myself: "Perhaps."
Mary: "Do you think that he will try to seek revenge upon us?"
Myself: "of course."
Mary: "What will we do."
Myself: " I don't know. I guess we will cross that bridge when we get there."
I truly do believe we have not seen the end of Mr. Wickham, not in the least. I just hope I can see him coming a mile or so away.
Harry Sterling
Part 15
5 or 6 months later....
In the year of our Lord 18--
I am so tired, and even more so is Mary. We have not slept much in the past few days or even months. She is sleeping so peacefully that I hate to wake her. It is so strange to think that not only is Mary my lover and best friend, but now and newly, only in the last few days, she has become the mother of my children.
Myself: (whispering and gently nudging her) "Mary, it is feeding time."
Mary: "mmmnnngggh... where did you put the cradle?"
Myself: "Don't get up I will bring it to you."
Mary reached down and picked up our daughter, while I held our son. Yes twins! We are still deciding on names. Mary likes Isaac and Fordyce. She really wants to call him Harry but I say absolutely not. Not even Harvey.
For a girl she likes Sarah, Rachel, Hannah,... and Elinor.
I like the name Caroline but I am worried that Bingley's self important sister will flatter herself.
Myself: "Besides me, what man do you like best of all?"
Mary: "Why do you ask? Because, if we name him after an honorable man, perhaps he will be grow up to be a good man unlike his Papa."
Mary: "How about my Uncle Gardiner? He has always been kind to my family."
Myself: "Gardener," ( I said as I looked in his little wide-eyed face. He has Mary's eyes.) "Mary look! He smiled at me. He likes that name."
Mary: ( Laughing.) " I think he is about to cry, Harry."
Myself: "No really, he just grinned from ear to ear. Just like Bingley! Charles Gardiner Sterling... I like it."
Mary: "hmmm! I like it too. Now we need to give our little princess a name. I was thinking, would it be too terrible to name your daughter after... something that is an emotion?"
Myself: "I don't think so..." (I wasn't really sure what she was getting at)
Mary: " I want to name her Joy. Ever since I have met you, I have had much joy, and just when I thought it could never get better... It did!"
Myself: "Joy it is! She will be our pride and joy. I like that. Can I also name her after my Auntie? Her name was Laurel."
Mary: "Laurel Joy... I just love the sound of that. We can call them Laurie and Charlie."
I looked at Charlie, who was wiggling gleefully in my arms. We have just opened a new chapter in our lives. We entered a new adventure called parenthood. I look forward to its many challenges . I also look forward to getting a full nights sleep... someday.
Harry- the proud papa- Sterling
The End