Beginning, Previous Section, Section IX

Jump to new as of November 25, 2004

Chapter 22

Posted on Wednesday, 23 June 2004

Lizzy sat at the top of the stairs, rested her elbows on her knees, and listened to the soft sounds of crooning coming from Georgiana's bedroom. Will didn't sing often, which was a shame because he had such a lovely voice, but his sister had talked him into playing his guitar and singing her a lullaby tonight. For old time's sake. And now Lizzy sat, unobtrusively, to shamelessly eavesdrop in on his song. She crossed her arms and rested her head on them, and sighed.

That's how Fanny found her, half an hour later, with her cheek still resting its side on her arm. "You okay, sweetheart?"

"Yeah."

"You look tired. You're not going to bed?"

"Not yet."

The soft strains of Will's music wafted down the stairwell. Fanny leaned against the wall and, because she knew her daughter couldn't see, let herself smile knowingly. "I've always thought it a shame he doesn't sing more often. I do enjoy listening to Will sing. He has such a nice voice, don't you think?"

"Yeah."

"Have you talked to him?" she asked concernedly.

Lizzy shook her head without bothering to lift it. There hadn't been any chance for them to talk. After they'd left the cabin, they'd been apart ever since. The only time they'd talked was when he'd found her to tell her that his sister wanted to visit with her. By the time she left Georgiana napping, Will had already left for the fields to check on his men. He'd returned only in time to share a meal with his sister in her bedroom and put her to bed.

"Well, these things have a way of working themselves out," Fanny predicted sagely. She felt rather helpless that there wasn't more she could do for her daughter. Sadly, there was nothing she could say or do that would make things better for Lizzy.

"Don't stay up too late. It's been a long day and you need your rest." She patted Lizzy on her back and made to step over her so she could continue onto to her bedroom.

"Momma?"

Fanny turned back around, "Yes, baby?"

There was something Lizzy had wanted to bring up with her parents, but she hadn't known how. She seized the moment to ask what had been on her mind so often in these past few days. "What would you and Daddy say if I told you that I was thinking about moving out? And was in fact thinking about moving to the city and find a job there?"

The question was posed as a hypothetical, but Fanny knew her daughter better than that. She came back down and sat down next to her daughter. "Isn't this a bit sudden?"

"Not really." She shrugged her shoulders. "I guess so."

"What brought this on?"

Lizzy watched the toe of her shoe trace a pattern on the step below. "It's been something I've been thinking about lately."

"Ever since you and Will argued?"

There was no point in denying it. "Yes."

"Is this what you really want?" Fanny asked slowly.

"I think so. Yes."

Fanny thought for a minute. "Do you already have a location in mind?"

Lizzy shook her head.

"A job?"

"No, but I've got some leads."

"I see."

"I . . . I don't feel like I can stay here anymore."

"I see," Fanny repeated, and indeed she did. She chose her next words carefully, "If this is what you really want, Lizzy, you know your father and I will support you. No matter what. You just do whatever it is you think you need to do, sweetheart. We'll miss you. But we won't stand in your way."

"Thanks, Momma." Lizzy's eyes watered with tears.

"Well," Fanny slapped her hands on her knees and quickly stood up, subtly wiping away at her own misty eyes. She kept her voice brisk and steady, and said, "It's been a long day. I think I'm going to go to bed. You?"

"Actually, I thought I'd take in a midnight swim."

Fanny frowned. "At this hour? Are you sure?"

"I thought it might help me relax."

"Well, all right then. But don't stay out too late."

Lizzy kept her face averted to the side as she smiled. It didn't matter how old she was, her mother would always look out for her and remind her to dress warmly, eat well, and be safe. And in that order too. It was one of the many reasons she loved her mother. She'd miss her and her father when she left the ranch.

Fanny was having similar thoughts as she entered the bedroom she shared with her husband and found Tom sitting in his favorite lounge chair, reading his day old newspaper. He looked up from his paper and took in his wife's troubled countenance. "What's the matter with you?" he asked gruffly.

She sat down in front of the vanity table and proceeded to take off her jewelry and wipe the make-up from her face. It was a nightly ritual and one her husband never tired of observing. All these years later and he still thought her the loveliest person he'd ever beheld. There hadn't been a night in their marriage where he hadn't sat where he sat now and watched her go through her nightly routine, and thanked God for bringing her into his life.

He hated seeing the lines of sadness creasing her forehead tonight. "Fanny?" he prodded once more.

Her tiny pot of cold cream clinked against the marble top as she set it down. "I was just thinking how nice it's been to have Lizzy home with us this summer. I've missed the girls what with Lizzy having been off at college these past four years and Jane married and gone. Now Jane is starting her own family." Fanny smiled sadly and looked down at her twined hands.

"I know. I'm being silly," she told her husband. "I always knew the day would come when I'd have to let my babies loose. I just didn't know it would hurt this much. That's all."

Tom set his newspaper down. Whatever it was that was bugging his wife, it was bigger than he'd thought. Concern creased his already wrinkled face as he sat up in his chair. "What's all this maudlin talk about, Fanny? Lizzy's come back hasn't she? And Jane's just down the way at bit, over at Netherfield. You've still got your girls; they've not left you."

Fanny twisted around in her seat to look straight into her husband's eyes. "Lizzy's leaving us, Tom."

There was no other way to cushion the news. She knew her husband would be as devastated as her; Lizzy had always been his little girl. The one that had followed her father around the entire ranch, dodging his every footstep, wanting to know why he did things the way he did, and demanding to know why she couldn't do what he was doing. She'd both frustrated him and delighted him. And now Fanny had the unenviable job of telling him his Lizzy-bear was leaving the ranch.

Again.

This time, for good.

"No." He shook his head. "That's impossible."

"I'm afraid it's true, Tom. I just spoke with her."

"But where would she go?" he asked, honestly stupefied.

"She said she's going to find a job in the city and live there."

"The city!" Just the thought of it made Tom's stomach recoil. For a man who'd been born and raised in the country and lived his entire life there, raised his own family there, the city represented everything that was evil and unnatural. Having one of his children living in the city was pure blasphemy.

"She has a degree in business management," Fanny reminded him. "She'll find a good job."

"And agricultural science," Tom shot back. "Don't forget that. What's she going to do with an agricultural science degree in the city?"

"I don't know! Maybe she'll get one of those fancy consulting jobs or something," Fanny shouted back, waving her hands in the air. Tempers erupted. She was equally frustrated and equally upset. She knew how her husband was feeling because she felt the same way. Shouting, Fanny knew, was pointless because they weren't arguing against one another. They were on the same side. Neither one of them wanted Lizzy to move to the city and away from the ranch.

"I'm sorry." Fanny took a deep breath and made a conscious effort to lower her voice. I didn't mean to yell at you."

"I didn't either." Ashamed himself, Tom couldn't bring himself to look at his wife. He toyed with the newspaper in his lap, rolling it and unrolling it until it was permanently curled.

"The thing is," Fanny sighed. "We can't hold her back." She nearly choked just saying the words. "She's a big girl now. Aren't you the one who's always telling me that we have to let them live their lives, no matter how much we want to keep them by our sides?"

"Yes, but."

"We did a good job raising her, Tom. She's smart. She has a healthy dose of common sense. And a good set of principles. She'll know how to take care of herself. All we can do it offer her our support, let her know that we're proud of her, and that we'll always be here for her whenever she needs us."

"Well of course we will," Tom said. "But that doesn't mean - ah, hell, Fanny. I just don't understand." He shook his head. "I mean, it's just so sudden, this talk of her moving out and getting a job in the city and living on her own. How? When? Why?"

"I don't know. All she told me was that she's been thinking about it for the past couple of days. And though she didn't exactly tell me why she wanted to go off and live in the city by herself, I think we can both guess why."

"Will." The single word came out on a low, guttural snarl. Already he was envisioning everything he wanted to do to the young, impertinent pup.

"Tom," Fanny said warningly.

"Yes?" He uttered the word in the same drawn out tone as she had.

"You aren't going to do anything I'm going to disapprove of, are you?"

"When have I ever?"

Fanny rolled her eyes. "Plenty of times! But that's not the point here. You know I don't want you meddling in the children's business."

And sometimes, you don't get what you want, he thought to himself.

He decided to change the subject. "Why don't you go on and take your shower," Tom motioned her along with his hands. "We'll talk about this some more tomorrow and with Lizzy. It's getting late though and I'm ready to turn in. It's been a long day."

"All right." She got up and headed for the adjoining bathroom, but not before casting him a distrustful eye. For her efforts, Tom gave her his most innocent-looking smile. When she only glared at him harder, he picked his newspaper back up and feigned reading. That seemed to appease her.

However, the minute Tom heard the water running, he threw his newspaper back down and was up and out of his chair.

Lizzy finished another lap and, breathing hard, slapped the tiled wall with her tired hand. She'd just sprinted twenty laps and had successfully exorcised all the stress and tension from her system. Now, limp and exhausted, she pushed back from the wall and floated towards the center of the pool on her back.

She let her mind think about what she hadn't let it dwell on before. Over the past couple of days, Lizzy had reached a few unhappy conclusions. First, she forced herself to admit that a part of her had always cared about what Will thought, and sought his attentions. Even as a child she'd sought his attention by pushing the envelope, knowing it would drive him nuts. She still did it. Second, she recognized that she loved him deeply and that he'd be the only person for her. Ever. Third, she also realized that she couldn't live with someone who couldn't trust her and would always leap so easily and quickly to thinking the worst of her when she needed him to support her. And, knowing that she'd cave and forgive him as soon as he said sorry and asked for her back, without ever really explaining why he wanted her back, she reached her fourth conclusion. She needed to get away from the ranch as soon as possible, lest she lose herself completely.

The prospect of moving to a big city, away from the only home she'd ever known, both terrified and excited her. Lizzy knew she wasn't without qualifications or experiences. She hadn't exactly frittered away the past four years of her life at college in idleness. And she knew her professors would sing her praises. She'd only graduated without a job because she'd always known she'd want to return to Lambton once she was finished with school, and there weren't very many opportunities in her hometown for a college grad with her expertise.

Will had changed that. But, she needed something different now.

She knew that, given time, she'd find a job for which she was well suited. And, as soon as she found that job, she was confident that she'd have no trouble meeting her rent every month and other living expenses. It was this in between time that worried her.

Lizzy continued to skim along the water's surface on her back, tracing lazy circles with her fingers as she let the water's current drift her along. As she felt her body relax, she thought back to how she'd spent the latter part of her day.

She'd returned with her father from the Sheriff's office exhausted and tired. Her mother had saved her a plate of food, and though it had been many hours since her last meal, she'd simply been too tired to eat. Not wanting to hurt her mother's feelings though, she'd sat at the table for a long while, picking at the food.

Until Will interrupted her. She'd been purposely avoiding him and by association his sister, but then he'd found her at the kitchen table.

"Hey."

Without turning around, Lizzy put her fork down and pushed her plate to the side. "Hey."

They'd never had such problems communicating with one another before. If they weren't having a normal conversation, then they were usually fighting. They were doing neither now. Instead, they were being uncommonly polite with one another. It was so fake.

"How did things go at the Sheriff's office?"

"Okay. Fine. Good."

"No problems?"

"Nope."

"That's great. I, ah, appreciate you going down there."

Lizzy peered around her shoulder. "Did I really have a choice?"

"No." Will coughed. "No, I guess you didn't."

She turned back to play with the handle on her cup. "So, how's Georgie doing?"

"She's doing well. She just woke up."

"She check out okay at the hospital?"

"Yeah. The doctor says she's okay and all she's got are a bunch of bruises that will go away over time. Nothing serious. And Georgie keeps telling me she feels okay too."

Lizzy allowed herself to feel relief. "I'm really glad to hear it."

"I know." Despite everything between them, Will knew how much she cared about his sister. He appreciated how lucky he and his sister were to have a surrogate family in the Bennet's. What he didn't know was how long that would last with the way things currently were between him and Lizzy.

"Look," he began. "I know you're probably tired and you've done a lot already. For which I truly am grateful. But, I was wondering. If it's not too much trouble. Georgie's asking after you and I was hoping you wouldn't mind going up to visit with her? Since she specifically asked to see you?"

"Um."

"If you're too tired, I'm sure she'll understand."

"No! I mean. That's not it. I'm not too tired."

He had a feeling he knew what was holding her back. "I'd appreciate you sitting with her for a little bit. It would give me a chance to grab a shower and clean up. To be honest, I don't like leaving Georgie by herself just yet and I haven't had a moment to myself since I brought her home."

"Oh. Yeah. Sure. No problem. I'll head on up there in just a second. Just let me clean up the table here." She gestured at her dirty dishes.

"Great. I'll, um, let her know to expect you."

"Okay."

That was the longest conversation they'd had in several days. Her visit with Georgiana was just as painful, but for very different reasons.

"Hey." Lizzy knocked lightly on Georgiana's door and opened it slowly. "Can I come in?" She peered hesitantly through the doorway.

Georgiana was propped up against a stack of pillows. "Hi!" she smiled brightly. "You came."

"I said I would. I even snuck you up a little something."

"What?" Lizzy held out the plate of cookies she'd hidden behind her back. "Chocolate chip!" Georgiana exclaimed. "My favorite!"

"My mom's been baking them non-stop," Lizzy told her. "Sugar cookies, oatmeal raisin, and gingersnaps too. The cookie jar is overflowing. I didn't think she'd miss them if I snuck you up a few."

Georgiana counted the cookies on her plate. "Or ten?"

"I thought you might want to share."

Georgiana laughed and held out the plate. Lizzy grabbed one and took a bite. "Thanks."

"No, thank you." Georgiana followed suit and bit into her own cookie. "Mm, so yummy."

"Just be careful of the crumbs. I won't be responsible if my mom finds them in your bed."

Georgiana smiled guiltily and caught them up in the palm of her hand to deposit back onto the plate.

"So," Lizzy said after a while. "I know you're probably tired of this question, but I have to ask it anyway. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay."

"Really?"

"Really."

"That's what your brother said, but I wanted to hear it from you."

"How are you doing?"

Surprised by the question, Lizzy sat back. "I'm fine. Why? Do I not look okay?" She started to turn around and look in Georgiana's mirror.

"No. You look fine. I was just wondering."

"I see." But she didn't really see at all. She had a feeling Georgiana was trying to go somewhere with her questions, but she couldn't figure out the path. Lizzy decided she'd just have to wait and see.

"I never had a chance to thank you." Georgiana sounded almost shy about it.

"You don't have to. I did what I felt I had to do under the circumstances. I'm just glad you weren't hurt. For a minute, I was afraid you'd jump at the noise and jerk into the bullet's path. But then when George threw you to the side by slapping you with his backhand, I knew I had to take the chance. I didn't know if there'd be another one."

"I'm glad you did." Georgiana shuddered, reliving the moment.

"I don't think your brother's very glad about it. He hasn't said anything, but I know he's dying to say something. Every minute, I keep waiting for him to go off about how I should've exercised more prudence and caution, and asking me what would've happened if my aim had been off. Quite frankly, I wish he'd just get it over with already."

"Will's a worrier."

"Yeah." Lizzy muttered under her breath. "That's it."

"Lizzy." Georgiana placed a hand on her friend's arm.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to go on like that." And she truly meant it. She wished she'd been able to hold onto her tongue. She'd never meant to criticize Will in front of his sister. She didn't want Georgiana to think anything was wrong.

The ball had already been spun though. "Will's been hovering ever since he brought me home. He must've been really worried when I was missing."

Will had said she wasn't to meddle in his business, Georgiana mused, but that didn't mean she couldn't talk him up. Right?

"Of course he was worried. We all were. But you're his baby sister. He felt responsible. Like he'd let your parents down."

Georgiana took her time in selecting another cookie. "Silly isn't it though? I mean, it's not like he had any control over what George did."

"No. But you can't help but wonder whether you could've done something to prevent what happened. Like, if you'd done things differently. Would that have mattered and made a difference?"

Georgiana wondered if she was talking about her brother or herself.

"I don't think there's any point in dwelling over things gone past. After all, it's not like you can do anything about it now. Is there?"

"I suppose not."

Georgiana handed Lizzy another cookie. Her dimples flashing, she changed the subject. "You know, you never did tell me the details of your date with my brother."

Lizzy choked on her cookie. "Here," Georgiana handed her a glass of water that'd been sitting on her bedside table.

"Thanks." Handing back the cup, Lizzy thumped her chest a few more times and cleared her throat by coughing several times.

"That good or that bad?" Georgiana asked.

Putting the remainder of her cookie down, Lizzy took her time in answering. "It was good. But, in spite of that, I don't think there'll be a second one any time in the near future."

"Why not?"

"I don't think your brother and I are that compatible."

"But I thought you liked him."

"I did. I do. It's just that sometimes that's not enough."

"I don't understand."

"It's complicated," Lizzy agreed. "But when you're older, you'll understand."

"Is it because he's always telling you what to do? I know you always call him an 'overbearing lout,' but you yourself reminded me that it's just because he's really protective and looking out for all of us. He really does mean well, Lizzy. He might be annoying, but his heart's in the right place. Isn't it?"

It really was sweet, Lizzy thought, the way Georgiana was trying to defend her brother. It was unfortunate that wasn't her problem with Will. If it were, it would've been a problem easily solved as she agreed with everything Georgiana had said.

If only.

Her dilemma with Will was much more complicated though. And Lizzy didn't think it was something she could exactly discuss with Georgiana. Thinking, however, that Georgiana's anxiety over her failed relationship with Will stemmed more from a fear of losing Lizzy than it was over things not working out between her and Will, she sought to both end their conversation and put those fears to rest.

"Look at the time! It's getting late and you need your rest. I didn't realize I'd taken so much of your time. You know what they say though, 'Time flies when you're having fun.' We'll talk more tomorrow."

"But - "

"I know what you're going to say and don't waste anymore time worrying about it. Know this. No matter what happens between your brother and me, it won't change our relationship. I've known you your entire life. You're like a little sister to me; you know that. So, even if you wanted to, you could never lose me. You're stuck for life." Lizzy tried to lighten the moment with a smile.

"I'll check in on you tomorrow. We'll talk some more then."

"Okay."

She'd closed the door behind her and leaning against it, expelled a large breath of air. She knew she'd left Georgiana unsatisfied, but she hadn't known any other way to sidestep the issue. Things were rapidly becoming more complicated than expected, and that's when Lizzy had decided to put into motion the plans she'd been toying with in her head for the past several days.

But, now as Lizzy floated along the water, she knew that making plans to move to the city and away from the ranch wasn't enough. To do so would take time that she didn't have. Because she didn't think she could continue living in the same house as Will any longer. She needed to move immediately. Fending off questions about their relationship or sympathetic glances was hard enough, but tiptoeing around Will was worse. She couldn't bear to continue living with someone she loved when he was the one person she could never have.

Lizzy had thought about their fight almost non-stop since the morning it happened. She'd relived his words even in her dreams. And though she conceded the merits of some of his arguments, recognizing that she had been partly at fault, she couldn't forgive him for the way he'd so easily cast her aside either. Without giving them a chance to work things out. Now, she was afraid that with Georgiana home, he would come back to her and tell her he was sorry or that he loved her, and that he wanted her back. It wasn't because she was conceited or felt so sure of herself that she allowed herself to have these fears; it was because she knew that's how she felt about him. In spite of everything, she still loved him.

But sometimes love wasn't enough.

She needed his trust, and he hadn't been willing to give that to her. Lizzy doubted that she'd ever have his trust, and without trust there was nothing to hold them together. They'd never be able to form a true partnership that constituted a relationship. For that reason, Lizzy was running away. She fully recognized that running away from Will was exactly what she was doing. But, she was afraid that if she stayed and he told her he loved her and was sorry, she'd cave. Lizzy knew she'd have to be stronger than that, and the only way to be that resilient was to put some distance between them. She figured a few hundred miles ought to do the trick.

In the meantime, what was she to do?

Deciding that her best alternative was to move in with her sister until she could find a place in the city, Lizzy told herself that she'd go to see Jane in the morning. She doubted her sister would turn her out of her house. Feeling better that she was now one step closer to accomplishing her grand master plan, Lizzy flipped over onto her stomach and relished in the sensation of the cool water bathing her face. There was nothing she loved more than letting herself go and be buoyed by the gentle ripple of the water's waves.

His sister finally asleep, Will turned off the lights in her bedroom and closed the door behind him. It'd been a long day and he was bushed. He stretched his arms tiredly as he entered his bedroom, and stored his guitar in its case before returning it to his closet. That completed, he started to undress. He got as far as taking off his shirt and unbuttoning his jeans before giving way to exhaustion and flopping himself on the bed. With the back of arm thrown across his eyes, Will groaned loudly.

What a day it'd been.

But, as he rolled over onto his stomach and expelled a loud sigh, he thought about how not every problem had been solved. There was still one very important piece of his life that needed resolving.

He hadn't let himself think about it, but now that his sister was home and safely tucked inside her bed, he knew he could no longer ignore the problem he'd created with Lizzy. Pushing himself up from the bed, Will got to his feet and grabbed his towel, looping it around his neck. He almost headed for the bathroom but at the last minute decided to take a detour to the kitchen. A glass of milk and maybe a slice of Fanny's leftover cherry pie would be just the sort of comfort food he needed while he mused over things.

The pie didn't last very long. Hungrier than he'd realized, Will wolfed it down in five large bites. He considered having another piece, but decided he'd regret it later when the nightmares plagued him. He didn't need any more nightmares other than the one that was already staring straight into his face.

Will pressed his face into his hands as he relived the horrors of the morning, when his life had literally flashed before him when he thought George was going to shoot either his sister or discover Lizzy's hiding place and gun her down. He'd been so afraid for both their lives that he hadn't even considered himself to be a target to worry about. He still couldn't believe that Lizzy had followed him, and as much as he'd wanted to yell at her for that, he was grateful he'd had the last minute presence of mind to withhold his tirade. He knew she wouldn't have taken kindly to it.

Especially not after she'd saved all their lives.

Will didn't think he'd ever forget that moment - not in a million years.

He'd carry that moment in his breast pocket for the rest of his life.

Standing, he carried his empty plate to the kitchen sink. He was drinking the last dregs of his milk when he happened to look up and out the window. What he saw stopped his heart for the second time that day.

Lizzy was drowning!

His fork and dishes went clattering into the sink as Will rushed for the nearest door and scurried around to the back towards the pool. She was still floating lifeless and on her stomach; he cast a prayer upwards and hoped he wasn't too late. Without taking the time to shed his jeans, he kicked off his shoes as he ran and dived effortlessly into the water as soon as he could. Before his head even broke through the water, he was already pulling long, hard, steady strokes that carried him to the center of the pool.

To Lizzy.

He reached her in no time and immediately wrapped an arm around her waist, yanking her backwards and onto his chest. With only one arm free, he began to kick and stroke backwards towards the side of the pool.

When Lizzy recovered from the sudden and unexpected noise of Will's splashing dive and subsequent saving attempt, she started to kick and struggle her way free. When she'd kicked him in the shin one too many times for comfort, it finally registered with Will that Lizzy was far from unconscious and needing his help. Relieved, he let her go and watched in bewilderment as she quickly separated herself and swam towards the edge of the pool.

He followed suit and pulled himself half out of the water, stretching his arms as far as they would extend over the side of the pool as he tried to catch his breath.

"What the hell was that all about?" Lizzy asked furiously as she scrambled out of the water, kicking water into his face.

Still breathing heavily, Will batted away at the blinding water and threw her own question back at her. "What the hell did you think you're doing?"

"I'm going to fetch my towel."

He growled deeply in his throat and grabbed at her ankle, locking her in place. "You know that's not what I meant."

She kicked at him again, forcing him to let her go. Grabbing her towel from one of the lawn chairs, Lizzy returned and came to stand next to him. He swung his curly wet locks away from his eyes and looked up at her expectantly. "Well?"

Still she ignored him. Lizzy wrapped the towel around herself and dried her torso with its corners. When she felt dry enough, she knotted it primly around her waist. It was only then that she dipped a toe into the cool water and swirled it around, and then said very calmly, "I was swimming."

"Could've fooled me! It looked like you were drowning. Do you know how dangerous it is for you to be out here by yourself? At this hour? Do you do this often?"

"Whenever I need to relax."

Angered by her nonchalant attitude and tired of having to stare up at her, Will yanked himself out of the pool, no easy feat considering the weight of his waterlogged jeans. "You can't do this Lizzy! Something could happen and no one would know to look for you."

She took a step back as he shook his head and the water droplets went flying every which way.

"My mother knew I was out here. I told her I was going to swim tonight."

He shook his head again as if to clear his ears of chlorinated water. He could not have heard her correctly. "And that makes it all right? What good is she to you when she's inside doing who knows what and you're out here swimming?"

"I'm a strong swimmer," she said resolutely, refusing to be cowed by the slashing movements his arms and hands took on every time he spoke.

"I don't care how strong of a swimmer you are, Lizzy. That's not the point." He watched with disbelief scrawled all over his face as she actually dared to turn away from him. "You'll not swim in this pool again without someone with you," he yelled after her. "I'm not having it!"

He's not having it? She stopped walking and quietly asked over her shoulder, "Does this mean you'd actually care if something happened to me?"

"This has nothing to do with whether I care or don't care," Will, still caught up in the heat of the moment and not really thinking about the effect of his words, lied. "Look, I know you're practically an Olympic champ swimmer, but that doesn't make it any more safe for you to be out here, all by yourself, when something could happen and no one would know about it until it's too late. This is Swimming Pool Safety 101, Lizzy. Don't be so mulish and hardheaded. Any sensible person would know it's not safe to go swimming without at least one other present. What if you slipped and fell, knocked yourself unconscious? Or, something went wrong - like, you swallow water the wrong way and can't cough your way free - you'd be stuck in the water with no one around to save you. By the time someone realized you were missing and went looking for you, you'd be dead. You want that to happen? I don't. I don't want your death on my conscience."

Lizzy felt herself grow cold at his words. It chilled her to hear that he didn't really care about her. Any flare of hope she might've felt at seeing him so riled over her being in the pool by herself was doused when she realized that he wasn't upset because he was concerned for her, but for himself. He didn't want anything to happen to her because he didn't want to feel guilty if something did. It wasn't because he loved her and wanted to keep her safe; it was because he wanted to live with a guilt-free conscience. She felt like crying at her realization, but she still had her pride.

Holding onto her emotions as best she could, Lizzy straightened the steel in her spine and shot back, "You can't tell me what to do!"

The phrase had the same effect on Will as it always did. He exploded. "Oh yes, I bloody well can. This is my home, my pool. I set the rules. Not you!"

"Well you'll be happy to know then that I'm planning on moving out. You'll never have to worry about having a guilty conscience if something were to happen to me on your land, in your home, and in your pool. Isn't that great? So, you and your bloody house can go to rot for all I care!" Lizzy shouted back at him.

The tears she'd promised herself she wouldn't let him see, came raining down in a torrential downpour. She no longer cared about hiding her hurt from him. Let him see. Let him feel guilty. Why should he be able to feel less than what she felt?

For his own part, Will felt stunned. Frozen in place, all he could think was surely he couldn't have heard her correctly. Did she say she was moving out? He didn't want her moving out! He wanted to hit the pause button and then rewind. When had everything gone so wrong, and could he start over again? But, by the time he'd shaken himself free from the cobwebs of bafflement, Lizzy had already stormed back into the house and was gone.

Even more irritated - both at the worsening condition of his relationship with Lizzy and at his soaked state - Will grabbed angrily for his shoes and scooped them up into his arms. His head, still dripping with water, and hanging, Will headed for the sliding door through which Lizzy had so recently disappeared.

He was taken aback though when out of the shadows stepped Tom. His arms crossed. His legs spread apart. His eyes narrowed. And his nose flaring.

"I've been wanting to have a word with you."

Will looked up into the star-less night. And, it just keeps getting better and better.

"Yeah, okay."

Chapter 23

Posted on Sunday, 18 July 2004

Jane poured a cup of freshly brewed coffee and placed it down in front of her sister. Lizzy looked tired and worn-down. "I never expected to see you here so early."

"I'm sorry. I should've called before I came," Lizzy said in her monotone, listless voice.

"What nonsense is this? Since when have you ever needed to call me before coming over? You know you're always welcome here." Jane poured a cup of milk for herself and sat down opposite her sister at the kitchen table. "You know, it's really not fair that you get to drink coffee and I have to drink this." She pointed to her glass of milk.

Lizzy looked down at her coffee and then up at her sister. "I'm sorry. Is the smell bothering you? I didn't even think about that. I can dump it out and keep you company by drinking milk too."

"No, that's all right," Jane sighed. "Charlie offered to do the same, but I told him not to bother. I know coffee is his fuel. As it was mine. I don't know why I'm torturing myself like this, but I decided that if I can't drink coffee for the next several months, then I'll smell it." She breathed in deeply. "Gosh, it smells so good."

"Why don't you just drink decaf?"

Jane looked scandalized. "Then what's the point of drinking coffee?"

Lizzy shook her head while laughing softly and took a sip of her coffee.

"How are things at Pemberley? How's Georgie?"

Lizzy wrapped her hands around the porcelain cup, soaking in its warmth. "She's good. And bored."

"Charlie and I were thinking about stopping by for a visit later this evening, after dinner."

"I'm sure she'd appreciate it. Will managed to keep her in bed all of yesterday, after he brought her home from the hospital, but I don't think he's going to manage it today. When I sat with her last night, she was already starting to go a little stir crazy. She'll want to get out of bed and he'll want to keep her in it; they're going to battle it out. I don't think he's going to win though; he's a softie where Georgie is concerned. Still, she can't go far and Will's not going to let her out of the house's sight any time soon."

"That's understandable. Will's still functioning off of the stress and panic of the past several days."

Lizzy made no motion to agree or disagree.

"How are you doing?" Jane tried to probe.

Lizzy merely shrugged. "I'm okay."

"Are you?" Lizzy's eyes purposefully strayed away from her sister's searching stare. "Have you," Jane tried to broach the subject carefully, "Talked to Will recently?"

"Last night."

"And?"

"And . . ." Lizzy pushed her coffee to the side and leaned forward with her arms crossed in front of her on the table. "It didn't go well."

"Oh. I'm sorry, Lizzy." She reached out and placed a comforting hand on her sister's arms.

"Yeah. I am too." Lizzy shrugged.

"You don't think you'll be able to work your differences it out?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want to?"

"I'd like to think we could."

"But?" Jane could hear it in her sister's voice.

"I don't know that we can."

Jane frowned. "Is it really that bad?" She had a hard time believing it, knowing her sister and Will. She couldn't think of two people more suited for one another than Lizzy and Will. She loved them both so much. She wanted her sister to be wrong.

"I'm afraid so."

She was dying to pepper Lizzy with questions: Why did she think that? How did she know? What if she was wrong? Were their problems really so insurmountable that they couldn't be overcome? But, Jane did not want to pry. She trusted her sister enough to know that whatever decision she'd arrived at, she hadn't reached it easily. Lizzy had never taken anything lightly; she liked to ponder matters, turning them every which way to examine them from every angle, before reaching a final decision.

"So, what are you going to do now?"

"Well." Lizzy ran a finger around the rim of her mug. "That's actually why I stopped by this morning. There was something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh?" Jane's ears perked up with interest and she sat attentively.

Now that the moment had arrived, Lizzy squirmed in the seat of her chair, unsure of how to broach the question.

"Whatever it is, Lizzy, you know I'll help you."

"Does that include opening up one of your bedrooms to an orphaned sister?"

Jane's jaws dropped in utter shock. "He's kicking you out? The bastard!"

"No!" Lizzy sat back in surprise. "No, that's not what I meant. Shoot. I'm not going about this the right way."

"Phew." Jane forced herself to calm down.

"He's not asking me to leave Pemberley. But, here's the thing. I don't think I can stay there with him either, Jane."

She rubbed Lizzy's hand soothingly. "Tell me about it."

"It's hard," Lizzy sighed. "We don't see each other much as it is, but that's because we go out of our way to avoid one another. I can't live like that. It's too awkward and too hard. I've been thinking and I'd like to find a job in the city and move there. I don't think I'll have too much of a problem finding employment; I have qualifications. But even that will take some time. In the meantime, I still need to get away from Pemberley. As soon as possible. That's why, if it's all right with you and Charlie, I'd like to stay here with you, at Netherfield."

There was so much to take in. But first things first. "Lizzy." Jane stretched her arms across the table and clasped her sister's hands together. "You know you can always stay with us. I don't even have to ask Charlie what he thinks. I know he'll feel as I do. You're always welcome here."

"Thank you. I didn't think you'd turn me away," Lizzy admitted, "but it's still a relief to hear you say the words."

"Is moving to the city really what you want, Lizzy?"

Four years of college were one thing, but Jane had a hard time visualizing her sister living in one for the rest of her life. Lizzy had always loved being outdoors. She used to say that racing on horseback while breathing in the fresh air was the closest one could come to being in heaven. She didn't have a doubt that her sister would adapt to city life and flourish there, but she couldn't see her being as happy in a city as she would be in the country.

"What other option do I have?"

Jane wanted to believe that there were other options, other possibilities. "We'll take things one step at a time," she told her. "First, you'll move in with Charlie and me." Because she knew that was what Lizzy really wanted - to be able to separate herself from Will. "Then, we'll see about you finding that job in the city. There's no rush though. You can stay here as long as you'd like. In fact, it'll be fun. It'll be just like when we were little, only we won't have to worry about Momma and Daddy watching over us."

That elicited a snort from Lizzy.

"You can also help me with the baby's nursery. There's still so much to do in terms of decorating and planning and shopping!"

Lizzy groaned. Not shopping!

The more Jane talked, the more excited she grew. Having Lizzy living with her would be lots of fun, indeed. But, she wouldn't stand in her way when something better came along and it was time for Lizzy to move on either. Jane just hoped the 'something better' would be would be the best thing for her sister.

"I only sprang this moving away to the city talk on Momma last night. I hadn't even thought to ask you if I could move over to Netherfield when I spoke to her. So, she'll be really surprised if I go home and tell her I'm moving out tomorrow."

"She'll have a heart attack."

"I know. I'm going to have to go home and talk to her and Daddy."

"You haven't told Daddy yet?"

"No, but I'm sure Momma told him last night."

"Lizzy! Are you trying to kill both our parents?"

"I know, it's a big shock, but they'll be okay once they get used to the idea. With any luck though, I'll be ready to move by the weekend."

"That sounds good. I'll take these next couple of days to get a room readied for you."

Lizzy frowned. "I don't want you exerting yourself like that. You have the baby to think about now."

"Silly, sis. That's what the men are for."

"Silly me, indeed. I'll give you a call later, after I've talked to Momma and Daddy."

"Good-luck." With everything.

It was still early yet and already Will was having a hell of a morning. A lot of it had to do with the fact that he hadn't gotten any sleep last night. But much of it also had to do with the curious stares he was getting as a result of his blackened left eye. Just thinking about it caused him to wince in pain. Will stopped off in the half-bath downstairs and probed the tender area around his eye as he examined it in the mirror. The bruising, already dark and purple, wasn't going to abate for days.

He sighed. But knew he deserved it. And Tom had taken great pains to sit him down last night and list, point for point, why he deserved it.

Will paused in the doorway of the kitchen. He hadn't expected Tom to still be sitting there, working on his eggs and bacon. He cleared his throat uncertainly. "Ahem."

"Well, don't just stand there. Come on in and get your grub. Can't be wasting away the entire morning now, can we?"

Will rolled his eyes with amusement and affection. Sometimes he wondered just who it was exactly that ran the ranch. "I've already been out to check the lower fields and I've sent the men out for the morning. I just came in for a quick bite and some coffee." He hadn't been able to sleep last night, so he'd gotten an extra early start that morning.

Tom grunted his approval.

"I've got a fresh pot of coffee brewing," Fanny called out from where she was manning the stove. "It'll be done in just a second."

"I'm in no particular hurry." He hooked a toe around the foot of the bench and dragged it out from under the picnic table so he could take a seat.

"Just let me finish these scrambled eggs. I made a special batch for Georgie. Scrambled eggs with cheese. Just the way she likes them." Fanny turned around to grab a clean plate and dropped her spatula on the floor. "Good Lord! Will! What happened to your eye?" She rushed over and tilted his chin so she could look into his eye. "This must hurt terribly."

He tried not to wince at Fanny's feather-like probes. "It's not too bad." Out of the corner of his eye, Will saw Tom consume his breakfast with even greater concentration. "I got up to use the bathroom last night and wasn't watching where I was going, so I walked right into the bathroom door."

Fanny snorted. "Yeah right. More like a bathroom door in the shape of Tom's fist." She turned around and with her hand on her hip, bellowed at the top of her lung, calling for her husband as though he were still upstairs and not in the same room as her. "Tom!"

He jerked to attention, his mouth stuffed with eggs and toast, and looked up. "What?"

"What'd I tell you last night?"

Tom swallowed. "Depends," he started out coyly. "Give me a timeframe. You tell me a lot of things every night. It's hard to keep them all straight."

"Tom." She dragged his name out into three syllables.

"Fanny," he mimicked.

She huffed in response.

"It's all right." Will touched Fanny's arm. "I deserved it."

Fanny shook her head in disgust, but returned to finishing Georgiana's breakfast plate. "You men are incorrigible. I don't know what you think you're going to solve with violence."

"Nothing," her husband conceded. "But it felt great." He stretched out his arms and cracked his knuckles so as to emphasize his point.

"Speak for yourself," Will grumbled.

Tom smirked. "I thought I'd ride out to the left pasture and check on the cows and their calves this morning. You coming?"

Will graciously accepted the plate of food that Fanny handed him before he spoke. "Actually," he said, tucking into his eggs and hash, "I thought I'd stick close to the house today."

"You don't have to worry about Georgie, Will. I'll keep an eye on her," Fanny spoke from the sink where she was now washing dishes.

Will glanced at Tom. He knew what Will was thinking, and he approved. "That sounds like a good idea. Well, I best be off then." Grabbing his hat, he left his dishes on the table, and then kissed his wife good-bye. "Thanks, dear. I'll see you for lunch."

Fanny waited until her husband had left before she tut-tutted and cleared away his dishes. "That man. He never could clean up after himself. I hope you treat your wife better, Will," she told him. "A woman likes a man who knows how to clean up after himself."

To demonstrate he'd understood the lesson of the day, Will took his now empty plates and dumped them in the sink. "Thanks for breakfast, Fanny. I'll see you later."

Her kitchen empty at last, Fanny allowed herself one sigh before she was back to business. She put together the rest of Georgiana's breakfast tray, adding to it a glass of orange juice and milk, and then hoisted it to carry it all the way upstairs.

Will tarried around the horse barn for as long as he could. He wanted to speak with Lizzy, but had found out from her parents that she'd slipped out early that morning to visit her sister. He knew she'd be back eventually though, and that when she returned she would come down to the barn for her daily ride. Lizzy was as predictable as the sun.

There were things that needed to be said, things he needed to tell her. He'd spent his sleepless night mulling over his conversation with Tom and making a list of everything he wanted to say to Lizzy, starting with: I love you and I'm sorry.

He hoped it would be enough. He feared it wouldn't.

With his shovel, Will dug deep into the ground. He'd been meaning to replace the rotting fencepost for a while now, but had never gotten around to it. There always seemed to be more urgent chores to take care of on the ranch, other things that needed to be fixed. Will took the opportunity now to replace the fencepost around the corral while keeping his other eye out for Lizzy's passing car.

His shoulders flexed each time he pressed down on the shovel and then lifted the hardened earth. With each dig, it took more strength to press deeper. In a short amount of time, Will had worked up a sweat. He took a break and dipped a long metal spoon into a water barrel reserved expressly for that purpose. The cool water dribbled down his throat quenching his thirst. He flicked a few drops onto his heated face. The water sizzled upon touch, barely cooling it as he'd intended. Will picked the hem of his t-shirt and dragged it up to his face to wipe away the moisture that had gathered there. When he dropped his shirt, he saw Lizzy's compact car speeding up the driveway towards the Big House.

The very person he'd been waiting for.

He saw her slam her car door shut and fly up the stairs. Her ponytail flapped in the wind behind her. There was spirit in her steps, he saw, as she bounded up the stairs and pushed the screen door open. He could see her running up the stairs and into her bedroom where she'd exchange her sneakers for her boots. He knew she'd be heading for the barn in just a little short while. Will quickly gathered his shovel and hid behind the barn. He wasn't being cowardly; he knew she wouldn't come within twenty feet of the barn if he were there.

Will didn't have to wait long.

He stopped just outside the entrance to the stables and felt his mouth grow dry. He'd seen her walking towards the barn, so he hadn't been expecting this. Lizzy had taken off her outer plaid shirt and hung it on a peg outside Buttercup's stable. Now she was dressed in only a white, thin-strapped tank top. He liked it how he could see all that skin. Masochistically, he remembered what it felt like underneath the palm of his hand. Silky. Smooth. Dewy. Moist. Fevered from his touch.

Lizzy reached for the horse tack and noticed that she'd lost the natural light in the barn. Her brows furrowed, it caused her to look up. She scowled when she saw Will darkening the stable barn door. Ignoring him and purposely turning her back against him, she worked the bridle over Buttercup's head, fitting the bit into the horse's mouth.

Will leaned casually against the doorframe and crossed his ankles. "I've been waiting for you," he called out. "I figured you'd come down here eventually. You never could go a day without riding. I was hoping we could talk."

"Too bad." Lizzy cinched the buckle tightly on her saddle. "You wasted your time. After last night, I don't think we have anything more to say."

"I disagree."

"What a surprise," Lizzy muttered.

"I heard that."

"I wasn't trying to hide it," she retorted.

"Sheesh. Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?"

"I heard that!"

"I wasn't trying to hide it," he used her own words against her.

She rolled her eyes.

"So, you're not going to talk to me?"

"Give the man a prize!"

He wasn't surprised to meet with resistance. He'd expected it. What he hadn't expected was that it would take a whole lot more to get her to listen to him. And he would make her listen to him. There were things he needed to say, and things she needed to hear. "Sarcasm never did become you, Lizzy. I'm surprised you won't talk to me though. I've never known you to back down from an argument."

"You'd prefer it if I was all over and in your face?"

That was just one place he wanted her, Will thought to himself. "I'd prefer it if you'd stop walking away from me and talk to me."

"Why? You walked away."

Will hissed. He had her there. "And I was wrong. Very wrong. I'd like the opportunity to try and make it up to you."

She was surprised by his concession, but she wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily. "Too little, too late; don't you think?"

"You won't find out unless you give me a chance."

That had Lizzy stopping in the middle of what she was doing. Turning around to face him, she leaned against the side of her horse, crossed her legs, and rested a hand on her hip. "And just how were you planning on making things up to me? By saying you're sorry, that you'd like to try again? Thanks, but no thanks. That's not good enough for me."

Will scratched the back of his neck in frustration. This wasn't exactly how he'd planned on beginning their conversation.

Feeling much better for having put Will in his place, Lizzy straightened and reached for her horse's harness. The underlying anger that was still stewing in her caused her to jerk on it; Buttercup tossed her pretty mane. "Sorry," she whispered to her horse, and continued to lead it towards the stable door.

At the door, she shot Will a look. "Do you mind?"

Will refused to move, effectively blocking her exit. He'd come here to talk to her and talk to her he would. "Just as soon as you agree to talk to me."

She had to give him points for persistence. She wondered how long it would take for him to lose his temper and control.

If Will had any say in the matter he wouldn't. He was trying his damnedest to hold onto his temper. After Tom had punched him in the face, he'd then passed Will a cigar and invited him to share in a midnight smoke. They'd spend the better part of an hour discussing Lizzy and how he felt about her. The last bit of wisdom Tom had imparted before leaving Will to his thoughts had been, "A gentle touch will go a long way with my Lizzy-bear." He tried to hold onto those words now as he blocked her path.

"Nice try." Maneuvering her way around him, Lizzy stepped outside. With Will's face no longer hidden by the shadows, she got her first good look of him. "Oh my gosh! What happened to your eye?" She had to physically restrain herself from instinctively reaching out.

Will shrugged it off as though it wasn't a big deal. "I ran into a door." He said it such a way that Lizzy understood any more questions about it would not be tolerated.

"That sucks."

"That's something we can agree on. Look, can we stop being petty with one another for a minute and just talk? This is ridiculous, Lizzy. We're both adults here."

"That's debatable."

He ignored the dig. "I mean it, Lizzy." The steel was back in his voice. He was tired of dancing around. "We have things to talk about, things to discuss, things to work out. You can't just run away from it all."

"Who's running away from anything? As far as I'm concerned there's nothing to talk about, nothing to discuss, and nothing to work out. After all, you were the one that said it was over. Or have you conveniently forgotten about that?"

"No, I haven't." Although he'd wished a million times since that he could go back in time and change what he'd said, or erase it from history altogether.

"That's good. Because I'd hate to be the one who had to refresh your memory."

"I made a mistake, Lizzy."

"A colossal one," she agreed.

"But I'm willing to try and atone for my mistakes. You're the one that's not. You're the one that's running away."

"Why do you keep saying that? Who's running away? I'm not running away!"

"Aren't you?" Will challenged. "You told me last night you were moving to the city. Your dad had a few choice words to say about that last night too. He seemed to think I was the impetus behind your decision. I'm inclined to agree with him."

"Well, I'm so glad you and my father could sit down, smoke a cigar, partake in a glass of brandy, and have a nice cozy chat about what I do with my life without inviting me to your little powwow. If you had though, I would've corrected your misconceptions because you are both wrong. There's no need for you to be so narcissistic. My decision to move to the city has absolutely nothing to do with you."

Will cocked an eyebrow; his face was cloaked in skepticism. Lizzy refused to meet his gaze. "For your information, not that it's any of your business really, mind you, my decision to move to the city has nothing to do with you and everything to do about realizing how I need to take control over my life. I'll never grow up and be independent if I continue to live here. In the home I grew up in. With my parents." And you.

"So you're just going to give up everything? Your home, your family, your friends? The place that you love with all your heart?"

"Yes."

"Because you think that by doing so, you'll be a free and independent person."

"Yes."

Will scoffed. "Don't be a fool."

"A fool, am I?" His tone of superiority both angered and annoyed her. "That's rich coming from you. Give me one good reason why I should stay here."

"Because there are things you don't know. Things you need to hear."

"Like what?"

"For one, I don't want you to move out."

She reeled from the unexpected response. A smidgeon of hope wanted to shoot through the cracks. Lizzy dampened it back down. "That's not good enough." Nudging Buttercup into motion, Lizzy started to walk away again.

"Fine!" Will shouted after her. "You want the words? I love you. Okay? I love you and I don't think I could bear the thought of you being apart from me if you went away."

Lizzy dropped her horse's harness and marched back to where Will stood. Steam was coming out of her ears. "How dare you." She punctuated each word with a jab in his chest. With each jab, Will took a step backwards. "Do you honestly think you can say those words to me, at a time like this, and I'll come running back to you and jump willingly into your arms?"

"Well, no, but . . .."

She wouldn't let him finish. "You know what, Will? You're not just an overbearing lout, like I've always said. You're also a jerk. A prime, Grade A, jerk."

She shoved him hard then and it sent him stumbling backwards. She'd backed him against the side of the barn though and it caused him to lose his footing as he tripped over the corner of a water trough. Arms flailing, Will's backside made a tremendous splash into the horses' water trough. Water cascaded all around him and, for the second time in two days, Will was soaking wet and clothed. Briefly, he wondered if he'd make it through tomorrow without falling into some body of water.

Lizzy stared in stupefied horror. She looked down at her poking finger and couldn't believe the mess she'd caused. Then, when Will roared and called out her name, she laughed and laughed and laughed. Served him right, she thought to herself. She tossed her pretty little ponytail and turned her back on him, determined to return to her grazing horse.

Will saw her turn to leave and struggled to get himself out of the water trough. He only slipped and fell back in. He gave up for the moment with a grunt, and yelled, "Where do you think you're going? Get back here! I'm not through with you."

"No. Perhaps not. But I'm through with you."

"Oh no you're not." This time, Will successfully leapt out of the water trough. He grabbed the lasso hanging on the outer wall of the barn and sent it soaring over Lizzy's head. Whirling overhead, he let the lasso drop right before he tightened the noose and caught her in place.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?"

"Finishing a conversation." He tugged on the rope and started reeling her in like a fish line. Lizzy dug her heels into the ground and struggled to wiggle her out of the binding rope, but Will was stronger. With little effort, he'd dragged her from one side of the corral to the other. When they were face to face again, he cupped her chin and asked, "What's wrong with saying, 'I love you,' when it's how I honestly feel?"

She jerked her chin out of his grasp. "It's not enough."

"How can it not be enough? Don't you love me?" He stared at her when all she gave him was silence. "It's not that hard of a question!" he cried out in frustration. "Do you love me or do you not love me? You said you did."

She knew it'd been a mistake to admit that. She mustered enough of her voice to say, "I lied."

His temper already at boiling point, the mercury burst. He'd onto it for as long as he could, but lost the battle in the end. Will grabbed her arm as she tried to walk away and back to her horse. He gripped her arm so tightly that it hurt. "Ow. Let me go."

"I don't believe you," he ground out harshly. "You're lying. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love me."

Her body pumping with adrenalin as well, Lizzy jerked her head up and stared straight into his eyes. Enunciating every word, she said, "I don't love you."

Will's body visibly jerked as he let go of her arm and took a step back. Whatever he'd been expecting, it hadn't been that. "I don't believe you," he repeated, his voice smaller and less steady.

"You don't have to believe it. It's the truth."

But there was a flicker in her eyes when she spoke. If he'd blinked, he would've missed it. Lucky for him, he hadn't blinked at all. Will pounced on it. "Aha! I saw that. You are lying! You do love me!"

Recognizing that it was hopeless to deny it any further, Lizzy stepped up to the plate with her chin jutted out. "All right. Fine. I do love you. So what? That still doesn't make a difference, Will."

"Yes it does," he insisted, very much like a child. His anger had returned alongside his frustration.

"No it doesn't. So we love each other. Great. Wonderful. Announce it on the evening news. But that doesn't make up for the fact that we have this devastating ability to hurt each other. And that's what you did, Will. I know I made some mistakes. I know I was wrong. I can see that now. But so were you. I came to you, already afraid of what your reaction would be, and you just hung me out to dry. There was no room for leniency; you just handed down a final judgment and that was that. You were the one who walked away, Will, without even a backward glance. Even with all the love I feel for you, I don't know that I can ever forget what you did.

"I'm afraid that it'll just happen again. What happens the next time I do something wrong? When we get into another argument? When we disagree or find ourselves at a crossroad? Will you just hang the Scarlet Letter on me and walk away from me? Or will you stay so we can talk it over and make things right?

His silence was her answer.

"That's what I thought."

She slipped the loosened lasso from her waist and turned away once more. She would've kept on walking except that Will's next words stopped her in her path. "I wasn't mad at you. I was mad at myself."

"What?"

"That morning. When you told me about George. It wasn't you I was mad at; it was me."

Well, this was interesting, Lizzy thought. "You sure had an interesting way of showing it."

Will's shoulders shrugged limply. "You were a convenient target."

"I see."

"No, you don't see." Lizzy turned around. What she saw surprised her. With his head hanging, and his clothes dripping water, he looked utterly defeated. She could even hear it in his voice when he spoke. "When we found out Georgie was gone, I went insane."

"I can understand that."

"I blamed myself."

"Which you needn't have done, but I can understand that too."

"More, I felt guilty."

"About what?"

"Because if I'd been a better brother, maybe I could've prevented the whole incident."

"You're not Superman. You can't do everything, Will."

"No. But I wasn't exactly there for her that night either. Georgie didn't even register as a blip on my radar that night. We'd come home from an evening out together and all I could think about was how wonderful our dinner had been, how beautiful you were, and how much I wanted to get you into my bed. In the back of my head, I knew Georgie had gone out that night, but it never occurred to me to check on her, to see whether she'd made it home okay, or to ask whether there had been arrangements made for her to be picked up. It was as if my sister had ceased to exist and you were my entire world that night. And then she really was gone and I knew then that I was being punished for being so irresponsible. For being selfish and thinking only of my own needs and my own desires."

"Will."

"Even as we searched for Georgie, I kept thinking about the moment Fanny came tearing down the hallway looking for me. She couldn't even find me because I wasn't in my room. I'd been in yours. I can't even imagine what your mother must've been thinking at that moment. But you know what's the worst part about it all?" He glanced up and met her face; the expression in his eyes frightened her a little. She'd never seen him like this before.

"I don't regret what we did, Lizzy. Even knowing what happened as a result of my carelessness that night, I can't say that I'd do things differently if I had the chance. Isn't that horrid of me? But how could I want to change the past when what we had that night was the most magical thing I'd ever experienced in my life?

"When you laid in my arms that night, all I could think about was this was it. It was everything I'd waited my entire life for, and then some.

"And then, we found that Georgie had disappeared. I was mad at myself. And I was mad at you. But not for the reason you think I was mad at you. Blaming you for not telling me about George Wickham was the easy route, and it enabled me to lash out at you without admitting to myself how I really felt."

"Which is?"

"You scare me, Lizzy."

"Wha-?"

"No, please. I've said so much already, let me finish."

Lizzy had no problem returning the center stage to him and waved him on. She was riveted by his revelations.

"You scare me because of the power you hold over me. I take one look at your face, and I forget everything else except for you. More, Lizzy, you scare me because you alone have the power to hurt me."

"But how would I hurt you?" she asked in wonderment. "You know I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you, Will. I care about you too much for that. I love you."

"I know. And that's how you'd hurt me - by forcing me to open myself up and be equally vulnerable. Lizzy, I don't know what I would do if anything was to happen to you or you were to leave me. I know you think I'm overprotective and that you think I overdo it whenever you get into one of your antics. I know you think you're capable of watching out for yourself and that you don't need me butting into your business every time, and I agree with you. Completely. But Lizzy - I just can't help it.

"I look at you and I think of my mother. She was a strong woman, just like you. She did everything around the ranch and ruled this place with that iron fist of hers. When I was little, I used to think my mother was invincible. But I was wrong. Even the strongest women can fall. It didn't matter how healthy she was or how strong she was or how capable she was, she still got cancer, and by the time she passed on she was so weak she could barely lift her own hand. I don't think I could ever bear it if that were to one day happen to you too. So, how can I look at you, think of my mother, and not want to do everything in my power to protect you?"

The tears were streaming unabashedly down Will's face by now, and Lizzy's face fared no better. "Oh Will," she said, her voice breaking as she spoke. "I wish I'd known this all along. Why didn't you ever tell me you felt this way?"

"I don't know." He whispered. "I never could put it into words before and until now it never seemed to matter."

"Of course it matters," Lizzy said earnestly and fervently. "How you feel matters a great deal to me, Will. I love you."

"Oh, Lizzy." He hadn't allowed himself to breathe until now. She'd finally said the words he needed to hear. Cradling her face in his hands, Will searched deep within her eyes and said, "Lizzy, say you'll give me another chance. Please."

"I don't know, Will." She tried to gather her wits about her. Will's impassioned speech had scattered them to the four corners of the wind. "I care about you so much, but it's as if every time we try and get together, something goes wrong and we fight and we say such hurtful things to each other. I can't handle it anymore. I don't know if we have what it takes, if we'll ever have what it takes. We fight all the time, we disagree about everything, and . . .."

"You said you love me."

Her face softened as she looked at him. "Well of course I do."

"Then that's all that matters." Will drew her towards him until their bodies melded against each other. He kissed her forehead and said, "I know we fight all the time, Lizzy, but it's only because we care about one another. And to be honest, I love fighting with you."

He laughed at her incredulous expression. And then he sobered.

"The first time I ever realized I was in love with you, we were in the middle of a fight. You stood up there with your fists on your hip, your feet spread apart, and you told me that there was no way I was ever going to stop you from fixing the cabin roof. I stood on the ground and looked up at you, and I thought to myself, 'G-d, she'd beautiful.'

"I love your fire, Lizzy. Your spirit. Your goodness and your sense of honor. I know you would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. And I do trust you and your judgment, despite what you may think. In truth, I've come to rely on you. Do you know what I'd miss if you left me?"

Lizzy shook her head, "No, what?" She didn't know if she should be afraid to ask.

But Will had no problem rattling off his list as he launched right into it. "I'd miss peeking into the study we share and watching you from behind - I love the way you work with your head bent over as you scribble furiously over the accounting books. I'd miss our long walks around the ranch, or our horse rides that take us into the surrounding hills. I'd miss seeing your face across the dinner table, daring me with that look of yours to say something that will set you off. And most importantly, I'd miss that joyous feeling I get in every morning when I wake up, knowing that I'll soon be seeing you again, and wondering what each day with you will bring. Will we end up squabbling over something incredibly childish and stupid? Or will we spend the day getting along, talking with one another, and sharing with each other.

"You are the only woman for me, Lizzy Bennet. You may be a brat at times, but you're also the only one that really understands me and loves the ranch as much as I do. I can talk to you about my work and know that you get it. What we have is the perfect partnership of love and friendship, and I want to keep sharing it with you and raise a family with you. Here. At Pemberley. Together.

"Would you, after all I've said, deny me that pleasure?"

Lizzy shook her head slowly. "Then will you stay?" She nodded her head. "And marry me?" She kept on nodding her head. "To have and to hold, forever and ever?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"And have my children?"

"Yes," she said more confidently.

"Are you sure?" he looked at her with doubt still in his eyes.

"Yes!" Lizzy laughed. How could she resist such a charming man, who'd stolen her heart, and hadn't played fair? His entire speech had left her speechless and in no doubt as to the depths of his feelings. It was the last thing she'd expected when she'd come home from Jane's, but it was the very thing she'd needed to hear.

"I don't know," Will said on purpose. "You don't sound very convincing."

"Yes, yes, yes!" Lizzy burst out. "A thousand times yes! Is that better?"

"That's much better," Will approved. Then he kissed her and hugged her even tighter. "I love you so much," he whispered into her ears.

"I love you too, Will."

"Whatever happens in the future, we'll work it through together."

"No secrets," Lizzy said. "No holding back."

"No making decisions without the other's input," Will added.

"We'll be partners."

"We'll be lovers."

"We'll be happy," Lizzy said.

"That goes without saying," was Will's answer.

And for the first time in her life, Lizzy took no exception to the fact that Will was absolutely right. They kissed and hugged as one in the corral. Buttercup, long since forgotten, wandered to the opposite end of the corral. Even she, a horse, understood that the reunited lovers needed their privacy.

It was many minutes later when Lizzy finally lifted her head and said, "Will? You're soaking wet."

"Hm. Yes, I know." He shifted in his stance. The rapidly drying jeans were beginning to cramp on him. "Whose fault was that?"

"Your own," she said pertly.

He kissed her, not willing to argue the point.

"It's making me wet," she said when they came back up for air.

Will chuckled into her hair. "Serves you right, Brat."

Epilogue

They'd been sitting thus, as a family, for the better part of the past half hour. At the commercial, Will ruffled his sister's hair and said, "That's enough TV for you, young lady."

"Aw, c'mon Will!"

"Did you finish your homework this afternoon?" Will asked, cutting his sister off.

"No," Georgiana admitted. "But, I got most of it done! All I have left is a couple of math problems that I know I can finish in no time." Careful to avoid his sister's pleading eyes, Will trained his eyes on the television and pointed to the stairs. Georgiana turned on the charm. "Please, Will. Pretty, pretty, please. Please don't make me go just yet. Let me finish the show at least. Please???"

Will gave up. Not that he'd ever had a chance. He could feel Lizzy's body shaking in front of him and knew that she was laughing at him. He gave her a strangling squeeze as he said to his sister, "Oh, all right! I give up. But as soon as this show is over, you go upstairs!"

"Thanks, Will! You're the bestest brother in the whole wide world!" Georgiana got up on her knees for leverage and then leaning over Lizzy, she reached to give her brother a smacking kiss on the cheek.

Will grunted, knowing his sister had wheedled her way out of him once again. Lizzy, wrapped comfortably in Will's arms, chuckled. "I don't know why you bother," she whispered. "You always lose." Will yanked her hair. "Ow!"

Fanny appeared in the doorway just in time to hear her daughter's small cry of pain. "You treat my girl right, Will, or I'll take her back!"

"Never!" Will protested, hugging Lizzy closer to his chest. "You gave her to me, and you can't take her back. She's mine!"

Fanny smiled indulgently at her son-in-law before turning her attention to Georgiana. "You. Upstairs. Now. Time to finish your homework."

"But . . .."

"No buts," Fanny cut her off. "Now."

"Aw, man!" Georgiana groaned, but got up from her seat on the floor and stomped her way up the stairs. They all heard her heavy footsteps on the floor above and then the slam of her bedroom door. Behind Lizzy, Will winced.

Fanny followed Georgiana's motions with her eyes, rolling them all the while. "Teenagers," she muttered before returning to the kitchen where she was cleaning the last of the dinner dishes and her husband, Tom, was enjoying a cup of coffee while reading the latest cattle reports.

"How is it," Will complained after Fanny left, "that whenever I tell Georgie to do something she puts up a fight, but when your mother tells her to do something, she immediately does what she's told?"

Lizzy shook her head, amazed that her husband could be so obtuse. She twisted her body around to kiss him on the cheek and answered, "Because, you big lug, your baby sister has you so wrapped around her finger that she knows it. Be a man! Put your foot down!" Will wanted to protest and argue that his sister didn't have as much control over him as Lizzy seemed to think, but she patted him on the arms that encircled her waist and said, "Oh, hush. The commercials are almost over. Let's just watch TV."

Their favorite show came on and they settled down to watch. But, Lizzy paid very little attention to this week's new episode. She had some wonderful news to share with Will and wasn't quite sure how she should bring it up. Should she come straight out with it? Should she plan something special? She was still mulling over the situation when the phone rang. A few seconds later, Fanny came bursting into the hallway, screaming at the top of her lungs, "Jane's having her baby! Jane's having her baby! Charlie's taking Jane to the hospital right now!"

For the next fifteen minutes, the house was in uproar. Lizzy and Will got up from the couch, their television show forgotten, and Georgiana came tripping down the stairs. Will supposed he'd have to write a note to her math teacher in the morning, explaining why she hadn't finished her homework. He figured her teacher would understand; after all, it wasn't every day that there was a birth in the family.

Tom took Fanny and Georgiana in one car while Lizzy and Will were to follow in another. They'd gotten into the car and were about to leave when Will slapped his hand on the steering wheel and said, "Shoot! I forgot something!"

"Are you kidding me? What else do you need?" Lizzy looked ready to scream. They'd just spent the last five minutes looking for his car keys, which were never where they were supposed to be when you needed them in a hurry. She'd ended up finding them in the laundry room of all places.

"Just hold on for another minute, okay? I'll be right back."

"If you're not back in five, I'm taking off without you," she warned.

"Just sit tight!" Will leaned in through the window frowned at her. "I know exactly where to look, so it won't take but a few seconds." He started for the house and then as a second thought, came back and took the car keys with him, thus ensuring that she wouldn't be able to make good on her threat.

Lizzy rolled her eyes at Will's back and then looked out her side of the window, tapping her fingers impatiently on the armrest. She started to count the seconds under her breath, but true to his word, Will was back in a jiffy, a plastic shopping bag in his hand. Lizzy looked at it curiously as he got behind the wheel and threw the bag into the back seat. "What's in it?"

"A present for the baby."

"Oh yeah?" She sat up straighter. "I didn't know you'd gotten the baby something. What is it?"

"Never you mind," Will answered, putting the car into drive.

"C'mon. You can tell me."

"Nope."

"Why's it such a secret?"

"You'll see what it is soon enough."

Unsatisfied with her husband's answer, Lizzy thought she'd try to investigate the matter herself. She turned around and was about to climb over her seat and reach for the bag when Will snagged her wrist and pulled her back down. "I don't think so, Brat. Now turn around and buckle your seatbelt like a good girl."

She pouted, but did as he asked. "You're no fun, you know that? You're not supposed to keep secrets from your wife." Will chuckled, which only served to annoy Lizzy further. "I bet you'd tell Georgie if she asked you what was in the bag," she huffed.

"That's because she's got me wrapped around her finger," Will mimicked the words she'd spoken to him earlier. "Maybe you should work on your Bambi eyes and pouty lips."

"I have other charms that I like to work on you," Lizzy teased back in her most seductive voice.

Will glanced away from the road for a minute and roved an appreciative eye up and down his wife's body. "And you can work them any time you want!"

"Eyes back on the road, Buster."

By the time they'd reached the hospital, Lizzy was so focused on her sister's impending motherhood that she forgot all about the bag. Hand in hand, they rushed to the maternity ward where they were greeted by the Bennet's and Georgiana.

Several hours later, everyone had grown weary and impatient. Tom had taken to pacing back and forth by the windows. Fanny, ever resourceful, was clacking away as she knitted a pair of booties for the baby. Georgiana had fallen asleep against Lizzy, who along with Will was flipping through some magazines.

Just when they thought they couldn't take the suspense any longer, Charlie came bursting through the hospital doors, his face all smiles. "It's a girl!" he cried out excitedly. "It's a girl!"

All at once, everyone crowded around wanting details. How big was the baby? How much did she weigh? Did she have any hair? Who did she look like? And what was her name? Charlie tried to answer them one by one.

Jane, he told them, was being cleaned up and would be ready to see them in a couple of minutes. In the meantime, he'd been instructed to show off their baby girl. The family happily complied. Nor did they disappoint as they ooh-ed and ah-ed over the new baby, tapping at the window, trying to capture the newest Bingley's attention. The newest Bingley was too busy yawning and waving her tiny fists in the air to pay any attention to her audience, but the family didn't mind. She was too adorable for words.

After showering all the appropriate attention that they could from afar, Fanny and Tom followed Charlie back to Jane's room to ooh and ah over the new mother, taking Georgiana with them. Only Lizzy and Will remained outside the newborn baby's ward to coo some more over the baby.

"Isn't she precious," Lizzy sighed.

"Yeah, she is."

"Elizabeth Alys Bingley. What a beautiful name."

"For a beautiful baby. She's adorable, just like her namesake." Lizzy turned to smile at her husband, acknowledging his compliment.

"Think we can get ourselves one of those?" He squeezed her waist as he asked the question.

Lizzy's heart fluttered as she smiled her secret smile. Maybe this was the opening she'd been waiting for. She turned around in her husband's arm to give him the words she'd been dying to share all day long, only to find that Will had already moved on.

"I hope little Beth will like the present I got her. What do you think?" Will lifted the bag for Lizzy to inspect.

Disappointed for a second, Lizzy put it aside. She'd find a way to bring the conversation back around. "You mean I finally get to see what's in the bag after all?"

"Sure," Will shrugged. "Why not?"

Before he could change his mind, Lizzy tore through the tissue paper and uncovered a stuffed cat. She pulled it out of the bag and gasped. It was a gray, tabby cat, and it looked suspiciously like her old stuffed cat, Myrtle, right down to the sheer gray ribbon tied primly around its neck.

"Where did you get this?"

"Well . . ." Will rocked his heels. "I don't know if you'll remember this, but when you were little you had a stuffed cat that looked just like this. You lost it and blamed me for it. When I tried to replace it and instead of jumping up and down with excitement like I expected you would, you threw it back in my face."

Lizzy chuckled. "Of course I remember. But don't tell me . . .."

"Yup. You guessed it. Lizzy, meet the cat you threw in my face. Imposter Myrtle. As I remember it, that's what you called it."

"No . . ." Lizzy couldn't believe it.

"You're not the only one that stores things in the attic," Will told her.

Lizzy was still in disbelief. After all these years . . .

"So," Will asked, interrupting her thoughts. "Think Beth will like it?"

Tears glistened in Lizzy's eyes as she responded. "Yeah, I think she will." Lizzy picked at the tabby's fur-lined ear. "But," she swallowed, "you know who I think might like it more?"

Will shook his head. "No, who?"

"Why don't you save Imposter Myrtle for another eight months and then see for yourself?"

It took Will a few minutes to see past the confusion and for the meaning of her words to settle in, but once they did, he stood shell-shocked. "Wait a minute . . . hold on . . . let me get this straight . . . are you saying what I think you're saying?"

Lizzy grinned broadly, clearly pleased as punch that she'd managed to render her husband speechless. She nodded her head. Will whooped with joy and grabbed her by the shoulders to hug her close. "Oh my gosh, Lizzy, that's great! Really, really great! Oh my gosh! I'm going to be a father. You're going to be a mother. We're going to be parents!" He picked her up and swung her around, not caring that they were standing in the middle of the hospital hallway. Lizzy joined her husband in his laughter.

When he put her back down on the ground, he cradled her face and looked at her with a sober face. "For someone whom I used to think of as a brat, you are without a doubt the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you, Lizzy Darcy."

"That's pretty handy," Lizzy said through the silent tears coursing down her face, "because I happened to love you a whole lots too, Will Darcy."

"Yeah?" Will wrapped an arm around his wife's waist as they turned and headed towards the direction of Jane's hospital room.

"Yeah."

Will grinned and kissed his wife's cheek. "You know, these next eight months are going to be so much fun! For starters, no more horseback-riding and no more heavy lifting. Starting tomorrow!"

"Will!" Lizzy immediately protested. "I'm pregnant, not an invalid! I've got months to go before you should start worrying about stuff like that."

Her husband ignored her, continuing on with his list of new decrees. "And no more coffee; you'll drink milk with every meal . . . And vitamins, we'll have to get you some vitamins . . . Oh! And when you walk down the stairs, I want you to shout out and wait for someone to come and help you walk down . . . Have you seen the doctor? We'll have to make an appointment, and of course I'll go with you to the next one. I have lots of questions to ask him."

Lizzy threw her hands up into the air, gave up, and merely sighed. Will would have his way. She leaned her head against her husband's shoulder as they wended their way through the hospital hallways towards her sister's room, and thought about how the next eight months were going to be eight very long months.

And, indeed they were.

But at the end, there was a bright bouncing boy they named William Fitzgerald Darcy V.

~**~ The End ~**~