Jump to new as of March 23, 2004
Fitzwilliam Darcy could not believe the events that had taken place the last week. Tuesday, his nephew William de Lorris, the five year old son of his sister Georgiana and her husband Ethan de Lorris, came to stay with him for a week while his parents where on a business trip to London. Wednesday, an express had come from London, which stated that the carriage that took his sister and her husband too London had overturned. Mr. de Lorris had not survived the accident and Georgiana's life was in great danger. When he arrived in London Friday, Georgiana was still unconscious. While he was sitting next to her bed he started thinking about the past and how many changes had taken place.
Eight years ago he confessed to his dear friend Charles Bingley that Miss Jane Bennet had been in town during the same months that Bingley had. But because he thought that she did not love him he concealed her being in town for Bingley. I can offer no justification. It was an arrogant presumption based on the failure to recognize your true feelings and Miss Bennet's. Bingley was furious at receiving this information and practically threw Darcy out of Netherfield. They had not spoken since and this Darcy regretted enormously. Could it be, he thought, was it really eight years since he had last seen Bingley. The only positive that followed his actions was that he hadn't seen Miss Bingley during this time. But alas he knew that this also meant that it had been eight years since he had last seen the fine eyes of Miss Elizabeth Bennet. She still entered his mind everyday, everyday something reminded him of her wit, her eyes, her intelligence. She still bewitched him. He could think about her for hours and about his loss. He wondered what had happened to her, was she married? He could not bear the thought that she loved another.
He regretted his actions of so many years ago. Why did he not go to her, why? He did not have to nerve and was to afraid of being rejected a second time. But, alas, she was lost to him forever, he would never see her again. God, how he longed for her. He had never loved another, how could he after feeling so deeply towards her. He knew that he still preferred her above all other women, that he still loved her.
He shook his head as if he wanted to forget about her. He looked at the fragile picture of Georgiana, a tiny figure that lay still, morbidly still in this huge bed. He now started thinking about how happy she and Ethan had been. He could still remember bumping into Ethan at Lambton six years ago, the two of them were old friends. He had met Ethan during his grand tour, he was originally from France but since many years he lived in England. He was looking for a property and his quest ended successfully, he settled himself at Newgrove Park. An estate happily situated next to Pemberley. But finding an estate was not the only thing he did, he captured the heart of his dear Georgiana. She and Ethan were the happiest of couples. He remembered how sad he was when Georgiana left him, but she had been only three miles away and they would often meet during their morning ride.
Barely a year after they got married William was born. For Darcy this felt as if an enormous weight was lifted from his shoulders. The birth of his nephew meant that he had an heir, and did not have to marry just to fulfill his duties to the family. Those damn duties Lady Catherine reminded him of every time she got a chance.
He was waked out of his reveries by Georgiana who was calling for Ethan.
"Ethan, where are you, Ethan?" he heard his sister say.
"Georgiana" Darcy replied "it's Fitzwilliam. Thank God, you've finally awoken, how are you feeling?"
She was slowly regaining consciousness but she did not look well, not well at all. A few hours ago the doctor had informed him that she had a concussion and internal bleeding. A few minutes later she spoke again: "William, where is Ethan?"
Good God, he thought she has absolutely no idea what has happened. He knew he had to break the news to her gently but there was no manner of doing this gentle.
"Georgiana do you remember that you had an accident with the carriage on your way to London?"
"Yes, vaguely, the horses were scared by something, but that is all I can remember. Is Ethan hurt? Is he recovering in another room? It's not too bad I hope?"
This was not going to be easy for Darcy, he was about to shatter all Georgiana's dreams to pieces. He did not want to shock her too badly because he knew she would not take the news well and she was not yet out of danger herself. But it had to be done.
"I'm sorry Georgie, but Ethan did not survive the accident."
Georgiana fell back into her pillows, closed her eyes and silently started weeping. Darcy took her in his arms and tried to soothe her grief. She fell asleep crying a few minutes later.
He decided to go downstairs and have some dinner, he would not be of much use to Georgiana if he would get sick too. On his way down he prayed that she would pull through. Just as he finished his dinner he heard the doorbell. "Who could this be," Darcy wondered "nobody knows of my being in town."
Bingley could see the amazement on Darcy's face and decided to take the first step. He approached Darcy, took his hand and shook it very enthusiastic.
"Darcy," he said "it's been way too long, I do believe that it's eight years since we last met, too long indeed. What a pity that we should meet under such tragic circumstances. I just heard about the accident and was hoping you were here. I wish to offer you my condolences on the death of your brother-in-law. I would like to offer my assistance in any way, you just name it. Let's put the past eight years behind us and start again as friends. I must admit Darcy, I really missed our friendship during these long years."
"I am all astonishment" Darcy replied "you have quite taken me by surprise Bingley. I never believed for one minute that you could ever forgive me for what I did to you all these years ago. It's really a pity that the circumstances are so bitter. But I have good news, I can tell you that Georgiana woke up for the first time not an hour ago, and I'm praying for a full recovery of hers. If you wish to, you can visit her tomorrow, that is if she is up to it. She will be very pleased to see that we've put our differences aside."
Bingley was very glad that Darcy was also eager to renew their friendship. "Yes, I would be very happy to see Georgiana. Would you mind if I brought Jane along, she is very worried about you and your sister and perhaps she could help with breaking the news the news to little William, I heard he is to arrive tomorrow."
"Yes, Bingley that is a happy thought, I thank you. I would like to see Jane again."
Not long after this Bingley left, but not after accepting a dinner invitation for the next evening. Darcy thought Georgiana might like having her old friends close to her.
Before Darcy went to his bedchamber he decided to check on Georgiana. He was very surprised to find her awake. She looked even paler and thinner than she did an hour ago. This worried Darcy immensely.
"William" she said with a very weak voice "you must promise me something. Please take care of my little William as good as you did for me."
He could not believe what she said, she must not give in, she had to fight. "Georgiana you are not going to die, whatever are you speaking of. You must fight this, just think of little William, fight Georgie, you must."
"My dear William off course I will fight this but I'm afraid that this is a battle that cannot be won."
With a demanding voice he said "You must recover". Georgiana was startled when he said this, he sounded as if he would not take no for an answer. He saw that he had frightened her. "Oh, Georgie, I'm sorry but I can't bear to lose you." He decided to try and brighten her up a bit. "Bingley came to see me, not half an hour ago. You know he has not changed one bit. We've decided to set our differences aside and give our friendship a fresh start. He will be coming to see you tomorrow, together with his wife Jane Bingley."
"That is happy news William, Elizabeth told me so much about Jane during these past years and I met her last year. But if you don't mind I would like to get some sleep now."
"I'm sorry, Georgie, I must be exhausting you. I'll see you in the morning, good night."
Not much later, while he was lying in his bed trying to get some sleep he thought about what Georgiana had just said about Elizabeth Bennet. He was not aware that she and Elizabeth had stayed friends during all these years. He did not even notice it during those two years when she still lived at Pemberley. He never noticed that she received letters of Miss Bennet. Georgiana must have concealed it from him because she was afraid of hurting his feelings.
The other thing that was occupying his mind was what she had asked him about William. Was he prepared to take such a task upon him. Of course he was. But he banned these thoughts out of his head. His dear Georgie was going to live, together they will fight this.
"Mr. Darcy" he said "I do believe that I have bad tidings for you. I fear that Mrs. de Lorris will not make it until the end of the week. Her head wound won't stop bleeding and I am afraid that she has too much internal bleeding."
"But that's not possible" Darcy answered in shock "yesterday evening and this morning she was fine. She was perfectly fine except that she looked a bit pale and is still quite weak."
"That's normal in cases such as this. Now she is fine but she can fall into a coma every minute. I do believe Mr. Darcy that you should prepare yourself for the worst. I'm very sorry. And there is another complication, during the examination I discovered that Mrs. de Lorris is with child. It is already a miracle that the accident didn't result in a miscarriage but the child will continue to weaken her."
After saying this the doctor left, thinking that Mr. Darcy could use some time alone to think about what he just heard.
"What if Doctor Fielding was right" he thought "it could not be. Georgiana was just having a minor setback, she will be fine in a few days."
His reveries were abruptly interrupted by the arrival of Mrs. Reynolds and William. He could hear the young boy asking for his parents.
"Where are my mama and papa, Mrs. Reynolds and where is uncle Darcy?"
"I am sure your uncle Darcy will be here soon and your mama is probably upstairs resting." The good lady replied. Suddenly the child started shouting
"Uncle Darcy, Uncle Darcy."
"Nice to see you too William" he replied while he scooped up the boy and started turning him round. Then he put William down and asked him to go with Mrs. Brown to the nursery.
While William was left under the care of Mrs. Brown, Mrs. Reynolds followed Darcy into the library and immediately asked after Georgiana. "Please sir, tell me how my little girl is doing?" He took a deep breath before answering.
"Doctor Fielding says we have to prepare for the worst, but I don't believe him, he is wrong. She was fine yesterday evening and this morning, she is just having a minor setback."
"If you would be so kind as to take me too her sir, I would like to see her. I'm sure she will be fine in a few days, she's a Darcy and they always hang in there."
When they arrived in Georgiana's bedchamber William was there, he had somehow escaped Mrs. Brown and had gone straight to his mother. Georgiana was wide awake and hugging her son, who resembled his father enormously. They had the same green eyes and light brown curls. He was a miniature replica of his father.
Tears filled up her eyes when she remembered that her sweet little boy would have to grow up without his father. "Gods knows if he will remember him in a few years."
Darcy had no idea how long he had been sitting their when William waked him saying, "Uncle Darcy do you want to play hide and seek with me?"
He saw that Georgiana was also awake and thought this was a good moment for that talk. "William why don't you go to the nursery while I talk with your mama, afterwards I will come and play with you."
The little boy ran towards the nursery as fast as his little legs could take him.
"You wanted too speak with me William" Georgiana said with a steady and strong voice.
"Hum...well...hum...yes" he was standing there fidgeting like a little child still quite embarrassed to discuss such a subject with his sister.
"Just say it William"
"Well I had a little chat with Doctor Fielding this morning. He told me something that is quite important, but maybe you already know it."
"Will you come to the point please, William." He was surprised that his sister spoke to him in this manner, she must be feeling quite good.
"Well he told me that during the examination this morning he ascertained that you are... hum...that you are..."
"Yes, that I am what William"
"Well, expecting." Darcy was happy that this was over, he found it quite ridiculous that he was so embarrassed to discuss this with his sister.
"I am with child" Georgiana exclaimed "I am with child, William don't stand there so stupid, be happy for me. I had some suspicions last week but I was not sure. I am with child. If I was feeling better I would be dancing around the room. The Doctor is certain that the baby did not suffer during the accident."
"According to the doctor it is a miracle that you did not have a miscarriage. But Georgiana you must really take your rest. The doctor says that the baby is exhausting you. So you must eat well and rest a lot if you and your baby want to survive."
Georgiana was not listening to her brother and saying lots of things.
"I am with child, I cannot believe it. I hope it is a girl, I would call her Anne..." She was going on in this manner for quite a while and Darcy listened too her with a smile until she said "I must tell Ethan". While she was speaking the words she realized that there was no Ethan to tell the happy news.
"Oh, dear Georgiana" Darcy started but she gave him a quick reply.
"Don't William, I will no longer lay here pining about my loss when I have this little new life growing in me. I will consider him or her as Ethan's parting gift to me. He will live on in his two children. I will do anything in my power to recover and see that this baby reaches the world. I will get better no matter what that doctor says. Please William be happy for me."
"Of course I am happy for you, I am only concerned for your health"
A few minutes later they were interrupted by Mrs. Reynolds who informed them that Mrs. Jane Bingley was waiting in the drawing room. Georgiana said Darcy that she was feeling well enough to accept a visitor so Darcy went down to retrieve Jane.
While they were climbing the stairs Jane informed Mr. Darcy that she regretted that they would not be able to join him for dinner today as Charles had urgent business with his sister. Darcy extended an invitation for the next day that she readily accepted.
When they entered Georgiana's bedchamber they were greeted by a smiling Georgiana.
"Jane, I am so happy too see you, how are you?"
Darcy decided to leave the ladies alone while he went to the library. As he was closing the door he overheard Georgiana inquiring after Elizabeth. He could not help himself and decided to eavesdrop on the answer that Jane gave.
"She is very good, thank you. She loves Scotland and the two children are absolutely adorable."
After hearing this Darcy felt a bit (or better a lot) out of sorts, the turmoil of thoughts started again in his head. "She is married, happy and has children, she does not love me at all, she is really lost to me now."
Georgiana was doing much better, ever since he informed her that she was pregnant she was determined to get better for her two children. She wanted to be able to tell them what a noble man their father was.
Doctor Fielding was delighted that Georgiana had taken such a turn for the better. He was glad to share these glad tidings with Mr. Darcy.
"Mr. Darcy" he said " I believe I have some good news for you. It is quite amazing how your sisters' condition has improved during the last day. I do believe that it was a wise decision to tell her that she is pregnant. This news gave her mind that little push she needed to fight just a bit more. But we must bear in mind that she is still very weak but her chances for a full recovery are growing as we speak."
Darcy was thrilled to hear this and went to see his sister immediately after the Doctor had taken his leave.
Georgiana was feeling very good during the morning and everything seemed fine during the remaining part off the day so they decided to have some tea in the room next too her bedchamber once the Bingleys arrived. She was not yet well enough to come down for dinner.
As ever Bingley was all smiles when he entered the room "My dear Georgiana" he said "Jane told me about your happy news, I'm sure the little youngster will bring you lots of joy. During the next day William must come and play with our three children, I'm positive that they will have a great time. You must be sure to tell us when you are feeling tired so we can leave you in time to rest..."
In this manner he went on for another few minutes. Georgiana found it very amusing as did Darcy, but Jane decided to end it with a simple "Charles, dear your babbling."
Bingley seeing the humor of the situation apologized. Half an hour later Georgiana was feeling a bit tired and excused herself while saying that she hoped they would have a nice dinner.
During dinner Darcy enquired after the health of Bingleys' sisters and asked how they were doing.
"Well" Bingley said "I don't think that you would recognize them if you saw them Darcy. They have changed immensely. Louisa and Mr. Hurst had their first child seven years ago, now they have 5 children. I never imagined Louisa as the motherly type but you would be surprised when you saw her. The children changed Hurst too, he no longer is a lazy bum, who did nothing more than drinking and sleeping. He is very active around the children and has finally taken his business seriously."
"What about Caroline" Darcy wondered "did she ever get married?"
"Well Caroline was furious at me for throwing you out of my own home. But after a while and lots of nightly conversations she finally accepted the fact that she meant nothing to you. Four years ago she got married, a love-match, with colonel Harris, she also has children, twins."
"How about your sisters Mrs. Bingley, I am quite sure they are all married?" While he was asking the question Darcy wondered why he was torturing himself in this manner.
"Well sir as you will probably know by Mr. Collins' move, my parents died four years ago. My sister Elizabeth and myself felt the loss of our dear father immensely. As for my sisters you are right they are all married except for Mary who is a governess just like..."
At this moment they where interrupted by Mrs. Reynolds who informed Darcy that William was asking after him.
After his return they finished dinner and the Bingleys left not long afterwards.
"Only time would tell" he thought. All his hopes for her recovery were shattered too pieces. He had been hoping to take her home to Pemberley in a few days time but alas.
It looked like not only Darcy was grieving over Georgiana but nature too. The day she fell into a coma storm clouds filled the sky with darkness, rain came and the four winds blew with such anger that Darcy thought the world was coming to an end.
Darcy sat hours without end next too his sisters' bed. Jane was so kind to call on them every day. Two weeks passed without any signs of improvement.
Meanwhile in Scotland
Elizabeth had absolutely no idea what was going on in London. It had been more than a fortnight since she had heard from her sister and she was starting to get a bit worried.
After she had put James and Anne into bed she went down to the library. While she was descending the stairs she was greeted by Mrs. Williams, the housekeeper who handed her a letter.
"Finally" she exclaimed "I wonder what has happened, it is nothing like Jane to stay out of touch for such a long time"
Lizzy hurriedly tore open the letter.
My dear Lizzy,Pray excuse me for not writing to you sooner. Charles and I have been very busy. I am sorry to say that I bring you no glad tidings.
There has been an accident with the carriage that took Georgiana to London. Luckily little William was not accompanying his parents. But Lizzy, I'm very sorry to inform you that Mr. de Lorris did not survive the accident. Mr. Darcy suffers a great deal under these past events.
Charles went to call on him immediately after he had heard about the accident. Two days later we had tea with Georgiana and dinner with Darcy. Until this time Georgiana was making a good recovery. But there are other complications, it seems that she is expecting. She was thrilled with the discovery of her current condition. But unfortunately a day later she fell into a coma. I visit her every day and Mr. Darcy does not leave her bedside.
We are all praying for her and for her baby, and I am sure that you will too.
Charles and the children are doing fine and send you all their love. Lily loved the little necklace that you had sent her, she never wants to take it off. You should she her my dear Lizzy, parading round the house saying that she is wearing a special present she got from her aunt Lizzy.
How are James and Anne doing, are they still such rascals?
I hope to hear from you soon, dear sister and know that you are always welcome in our home.
With all my love
Jane Bingley
Elizabeth was shocked once she heard what had happened with Georgiana. The two of them had become best friends during the many years that had passed since their first meeting. She still remembered Georgiana writing her about falling in love with Ethan and about William's birth. The letters Georgiana wrote Lizzy reflected her happiness. And now her dear friend had sunken into a deep coma, who knows if she will awaken.
Half an hour later she rushed out of the library straight to Mr. Velton's study. She explained him what had happened with her dear friend and they decided together what further steps she should undertake.
The following day Lizzy woke very early and not an hour later, after giving the children a goodbye kiss she was in the carriage on her way to London, to Georgiana. She knew in her heart that this was what she had to do, she had to go and see Georgiana who is as dear to her as Jane is.
Lizzy looked at the landscape and realized that the weather was very gloomy for this time of the year. She did not like London very much, it was a dark city, even the beautiful parks were to crowded for Lizzy. She tried to avoid that city as much as possible. But now with Georgiana being so ill she had no other choice but to go to London. A few minutes later she fell into a deep welcome sleep.
And again she had that same dream that had been torturing her for about eight years. She is walking in a beautiful forest, her long hair is draped around her shoulders and she can feel a slight autumn breeze. While she wanders of further and further into the forest she reaches a huge stone where she sits down and just looks at the beautiful colors of the forest.
Suddenly she feels a hand on her shoulder, it doesn't surprise her at all, she just puts her own hand on his and looks up too that beautiful smile. As always when she wants to tell him how much she loves him, he vanishes.
A bump in the road awakened Lizzy and as always after having this dream she is angry with herself. It is beyond her knowledge why that the man that she has been trying to forget for all these years is always there. Why am I unable to forget him, I know he does not love me anymore. If he would still have admired and loved me he would have come to me, no matter what Bingley did.
"But" she said to herself "no more of these foolish thoughts, I'll just enjoy the scenery and worry about him later."
Jane was not at all surprised to see the arrival of her sister a couple of days after she had sent her that letter. She was very glad to see Lizzy, but also a bit worried. It was not hard for her to remember how her sister had suffered under the departure of Fitzwilliam Darcy.
A few hours after her arrival the two sisters decided to call upon the Darcy's the next day since Jane had already been there that morning. Jane informed Lizzy that Georgiana's condition remained unchanged.
Lizzy insisted that Jane would send a small note to Mr. Darcy in which she would inform him of Lizzy intentions to visit his sister.
Darcy was trying to eat some of his dinner when the note arrived. He was trying very hard to stop thinking about Georgiana's condition but found it impossible. He was very grateful for the assistance that Bingley and Jane gave him. Darcy was absolutely not prepared for the information that the note contained. He had to read it three times before realized that his Elizabeth was coming to his house.
At first he was very excited and convinced to grab this opportunity. This was probably the last chance he would ever have to secure her affections. But then he remembered that she is married and has children. He sunk back into his chair and decided to try and forget about her for once and for good. He knew that it would be as good as impossible since she would be visiting Georgiana every time Jane came. He realized that the company of Elizabeth would probably do the comatose Georgiana the world of good. "If indeed they are as good friends as I think them to be."
He went up to tell Georgiana the news, hoping she would hear him and then went to bed very early, knowing that tomorrow would not be easy for him. He lay awake for some time trying to imagine how their first greeting would be. But he realized that she was coming to see Georgiana and not Fitzwilliam Darcy. He knew in his heart that at the moment the recovery of Georgiana was the most important thing and not how he would have to face Elizabeth.
Darcy was not the only one who was dreading the next day. Lizzy was tossing and turning in her bed. She was hoping that Georgiana would be better than expected and therefore wanted the next day to come soon, but then there was Mr. Darcy. She had absolutely no idea how to act in his company, how do you behave in front of the man that broke your heart?
As Mrs. Reynolds was leading Jane and Elizabeth to Georgiana's chamber she recognized the young lady that had visited Pemberley so long ago. She wondered what went wrong between the two of them, she remembered how happy the master had been during that short time. She would have loved to have this lady as a mistress, maybe once Georgiana has recovered they will settle their differences.
They entered Georgiana's room and Mrs. Reynolds announced them. "Mrs. Bingley and Miss Bennet, sir"
Darcy got up and found himself unable to utter a syllable. There she stood the woman that held the key to his heart.
Elizabeth was also having a bad time at finally seeing him. There he stood the man that broke her heart.
Jane stood gazing at the small display in front of her and realized she had to end this awkward silence. "Mr. Darcy" she said, "I believe you will remember my sister."
He snapped out of his reveries and remembered how to give a courtesy.
"Mr. Darcy, I hope your sister is doing a bit better" Lizzy said trembling, once she found her voice.
"I am very sorry to inform you that her condition has remained unchanged but I am convinced that she hears everything you tell her."
Elizabeth went to Georgiana's bed and was saddened by the sight she beheld. Her dear friend looked very pale but underneath the covers she could discern a slight swelling which indicated her pregnancy. She remembered what she had read about Georgiana's comatose condition on the way to London. She had borrowed the book from Mr. Velton. Just like what Mr. Darcy said, the book informed her that it was very likely that Georgiana heard everything she told her. The book also stated that the patient should have a nice and bright room.*
"My dear Georgiana, I hope you can hear me, it is me Elizabeth. I really hope you get better soon, then we can take long walks in the park." After stating this she touched Georgiana's hand and to the amazement of all present Georgiana moved her fingers. Lizzy looked up and saw the astonishment on Darcy's face. Their eyes locked for a few seconds and she gave him a small smile.
"Mr. Darcy" she silently said "might I have a word with you in private?" After answering her question with a slight nod they went to the adjoining room.
Once there Lizzy said to him all the things she found wrong in Georgiana's room. " Mr. Darcy, I hope you do not think me to bold, but I would like to make a few suggestions that maybe could improve your sister's health. I think that you should open all the curtains in her room, let the sun in, the sun always brightens people's moods, and set lots of freshly plucked flowers in the room. And last but not least if it is true that Georgiana can hear everything, we should give her music. Lots of music, bring an instrument to her room and have someone play her favorite pieces. She so loves music, I am quite convinced that music is the key to her recovery."
He had listened to her speech and realized that she was probably right. "I do believe that you are right miss Bennet and I hope that you will do us the honor and play for Georgiana, I believe she has great pleasure in hearing you perform." Darcy replied, in his mind he added "and so do I".
"I would be delighted to be of assistance. I want to do everything in my power to make her better"
"As do I, miss Bennet, as do I."
Not much later Jane and Elizabeth left the Darcy's townhouse with the promise to return the next day.
Darcy went to Georgiana's bedchamber and promptly opened the curtains and saw the sun embracing the room. He noticed that the weather was improving a bit, but it was still not real June weather.
He took his seat next to his sisters bed and saw that Mrs. Reynolds was sitting on the other side holding William on her lap, the little lad was sleeping.
He was thinking about his meeting with the lady of his heart. A few minutes later he finally realized that he had called her Miss Bennet several times and she had failed to correct him. "Maybe there was hope, think man, how did Mrs. Reynolds announce them. Blast, I can't remember, I was not paying attention, well I'll just ask her."
"Excuse me Mrs. Reynolds but what name did Mrs. Bingley give for her sister?"
Mrs. Reynolds finding this quite an odd request just replied with "Miss Bennet, sir."
After stating this she saw a huge smile appearing on her master's face and she couldn't help smiling herself.
* I do not pretend to know a thing about what to do when someone is in a comatose condition. I only wrote this because it suits the story.
The following day Lizzy hoped that Mr. Darcy had not taken her advice for granted. When she entered Georgiana's bedchamber she was happy to see all the light that was coming into the room. The scent of flowers greeted her and in the corner she saw a small pianoforte. Lizzy was delighted that Mr. Darcy had accepted her advice and followed it immediately.
Darcy was surprised to see that no one was accompanying Miss Bennet. She informed him that her sister stayed home since one of her children was ill.
When she asked him how his sister was doing he was glad to give her some good news.
"Doctor Fielding came to see her this morning, he says that she has improved a great deal. She seems to be responding to lots of things, for example, every time William tries to hold her hand she moves her fingers. The Doctor believes that this might indicate that she is finally awakening."
"I am very happy to hear this. I am sure that this must be quite a relief for you, Mr. Darcy." She said while she sat down in the chair next to his.
"You have no idea", he responded "I cannot bear to lose my sister. But finally my hope for her complete recovery is granted." He wanted to say more but he could not.
Lizzy gently placed her hand on his hand and told him that everything would be all right. "Georgiana is a fighter, I am quite sure that she will not give up without a fight. I am convinced that she will get better, how could she not when she has a brother that takes so good care for her"
She had absolutely no idea how delighted Darcy was upon hearing these words. As their eyes locked he lifted his hand to her cheek while he said to her how grateful he was for presence during this distressing time. Elizabeth could only think "can it be, is it possible that he still loves me." Darcy's thoughts were very much the same, and he thought how very much he would like to kiss her.
Suddenly the door opened and the spell was broken. Little William came running in followed by Colonel Fitzwilliam who immediately started talking without noticing what he had interrupted.
"I say, Darcy, you could have warned me that William is such a lively fellow. I am having quite a hard time keeping up with him..."
At that point he was interrupted by Darcy "Fitzwilliam, I am sure you still remember Miss Elizabeth Bennet."
Elizabeth spent the remainder off the morning reading to Georgiana. While Darcy and the Colonel sat there listening.
Darcy was still at loss why his nephew did not leave the regulars, it looks like he is married to it. Upon the death of Lady Catherine the Colonel had inherited a small estate in Kent. It had come as great surprise to everyone, no one knew that Lady Catherine owned this charming little place.
The estate provided Fitzwilliam with an annual income off 2000 pounds but still he did not leave the militia.
The days that came were spent in much the same way. Jane and Lizzy would take turns in reading to Georgiana and telling her about what was happening in London. Most of this time Darcy would just sit there quietly and observe his sister. But ever so often his gaze would slide from Georgiana to Elizabeth. He loved to watch her when she was reading to his sister. Sometimes she would look up and then their eyes locked for a few moments.
He felt more at ease when Bingley was accompanying them, it was at one of these occasions that he finally had enough courage to ask Elizabeth to play for Georgiana. He was delighted to finally hear her play and sing again. He really hoped that Georgiana was able to hear this angelic voice.
He had offered to turn pages for her and was delighted to be so near to her.
When she finished her performance he escorted her back to her chair next to Georgiana's bed. As she sat down he gazed into her eyes and was very happy to see a small sparkle in those fine eyes. He held her hand just a little longer than propriety allowed before returning to his seat.
From then on Elizabeth played for Georgiana every day.
Darcy was quite at loss and had absolutely no idea what to do. He knew he had to concentrate on Georgiana but he couldn't help thinking about Elizabeth too. He had seen her every day these last two weeks but, he thought she didn't show any special behavior towards him. They hadn't spoken that much and he had absolutely no idea if she loved him.
Lizzy was having similar thoughts. She had noticed that he looked at her quite often, but she found it to be impossible that he would still love her. But she realized that Georgiana was the most important issue at the moment.
During Lizzy's third week in London Georgiana finally awakened. It was the first beautiful summer day when she finally came back to this world. She felt the warm summer sun on her face and couldn't help smiling. It seemed like she could hear music in the distance but she wasn't sure. When she tried to open her eyes she could hear her brothers voice.
"Georgiana, wake up dear, we have been waiting for this moment a long time."
She was glad to hear his voice and when she finally opened up her eyes she realized that the music had stopped and their were standing lots of people next to her bed. She saw her little William trying to crawl onto her bed and asking her to please stay awake, she saw Mrs. Reynolds who was crying and Colonel Fitzwilliam, and Jane, and Charles and Lizzy. She was very happy to see Lizzy who gave her a big encouraging smile.
Not long afterwards Georgiana was left alone with Darcy, but she made sure that the Bingleys and Lizzy promised to call on them the next day.
While she was alone with her brother he told her how long she had been in a unconsciousness. Georgiana informed him that she already suspected it when she saw how her figure had changed into that of a woman who is four months pregnant.
A few minutes later her brother left her alone, he could see that she was falling asleep. Georgiana was pleased to see her dear friend Elizabeth here. Before she fell asleep she wondered how the relationship between her brother and her best friend had progressed during these last weeks.
During the following days her health improved greatly, she enjoyed her talks with Lizzy and Jane, and a few days later the doctor declared that Georgiana was out of danger. Everyone was very relieved upon hearing this news.
The next day Georgiana even came down to have dinner with her brother. She was determined to divert her mind with a little matchmaking and decided to begin with her brother. During dinner it was not hard for her to change the conversation to the wanted topic.
"Pray, Fitzwilliam, how long has Miss Bennet been in London?" she asked sweetly.
"About a month" he murmured.
"I was very glad to see her, we always stayed in touch, you know. She has not changed at all since I first met her. Don't you agree William."
"Well, hum...I" he stuttered " Yes, Georgiana you are right she is still very much the same Miss Elizabeth Bennet that she always was and I believe that she always will be."
Georgiana was absolutely not happy with this answer and just decided to speak her mind, it was obvious that this was not working.
"William, when are you finally going to do something about it."
"About what?"
"About... Miss Bennet."
Georgiana was surprised to hear her own words and her brother was sitting on the other side of the table not able too utter a word, he just sat there staring at Georgiana. After a few minutes he finally found his voice.
"I beg your pardon, what am I to do with, or about Miss Bennet?"
"Good God William, you know exactly what I mean. What do you take me for, a simpleton? I know very well that you are in love with her and have been for these last eight years, if not more. Don't you think that it is time you did something about it."
After all these years Darcy was still not accustomed to his sisters' self-confidence, and at moments like these he had to admit that maybe he liked the shy Georgiana better. In the past she would have never dared to speak to him in such a manner. But nonetheless she had asked him a question and he must give her an answer.
"I believe you want the truth Georgiana?"
"Yes William, I would like that very much." Georgiana said expectantly.
"Well my dear sister what you do not know is that I proposed to her about nine years ago. She refused me, and I do not blame her, my behavior to her was unpardonable. How much I would have wanted too, I never renewed my addresses to her because I don't know if she returns my regard."
Georgiana was very surprised and wondered how bad her brothers' behavior must have been. But she was determined not to give up hope.
"But William, how could you doubt her affections. When I saw you two at Pemberley so long ago I really thought that it was only a matter off time before you would be engaged. You must have spoken with her during these last weeks."
She could see that her brother was getting a bit agitated and decided to continue this discussion another time.
"Georgiana, please stop this inquisition. Miss Bennet has, during these last weeks, not giving me any encouragement. But as you should know, we all were much preoccupied with your health. Although I must say that I enjoyed her performances on the pianoforte these last weeks" he concluded with a smile. With that smile still on his face he left his sister and went to the library.
Georgiana was very pleased with the information she slurred out of her brother that evening. After she gave little William a goodnight kiss she went asleep with quite a smug smile on her face. Thinking that it would not be to hard to succeed. Maybe she should write her friend Mrs. Knightley and ask some advice. Georgiana was very surprised herself when she realized how very fast her recovery was going. "Well", she thought, " a bit off sleep and a bit matchmaking and I'll soon be fully recovered."
Two weeks passed and Georgiana, who was by now fully recovered, was beginning to fear the worst. Every time Miss Bennet came to see her, Fitzwilliam would just sit there staring at her or he would not show his face at all. Georgiana found this all quite alarming. She even tried to discern Elizabeth's feelings for her brother but it was all in vain.
Elizabeth was enjoying her time with Georgiana and was very sad that she would have to leave in two days time. By now she was convinced that Mr. Darcy had absolutely no peculiar regard for her. His indifference grieved her immensely but Georgiana's quick recovery was a good distraction. These last days she had tried to banish any thoughts about Fitzwilliam Darcy out off her mind. But unfortunately his sister was not helping. The conversation between her and Georgiana would at some point always lead to that tall handsome man.
Just like Elizabeth, Darcy had decided to stop thinking about her, he was sure she did not love him. He tried to avoid her company and spent most time in his study. Today would be another of those days, he knew she was in drawing room or the music room with Georgiana but he preferred not to meet her. When he heard her leave he was at the same time relieved and disappointed. Not five minutes later his sister stormed into his study.
"William, are you out of your mind?"
"Ah, Georgiana, I am glad to see that your health is no longer bothering you."
"Fitzwilliam Darcy, she is leaving in two days time. Get yourself together and talk to her, tell her how you feel. God knows if you will ever meet her again after tomorrow. When she comes to take her leave tomorrow you shall talk to her, and I will not take no for an answer."
"But she does not love me." Darcy said while he got up and positioned himself in front of his desk.
He did not have to wait long to get a reply.
"William, how can you be so certain. Each time she comes over you either retreat to your study or just sit their staring at her. I dare say you have said scarce five words to her. I cannot believe that you would give up so easily. Just tell her how much you love her, you have nothing to loose. I only want to see you happy."
"Nothing to loose, Georgiana, she has refused me before and I believe her capable of doing it twice. I just can't."
"Please William," Georgiana said with tears in her eyes, "you must, I cannot bear to see you so unhappy. You deserve to have the same happiness that Ethan and I shared. Please brother."
By now tears were streaming down her face and as he took her in his arms he promised her that her would speak with Miss Bennet the next day.
The following day Fitzwilliam Darcy had lots to think about. He knew she would arrive in an hour or two. What was he going to say to her, "maybe, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, no that's much to forward. Think man, your future happiness is at stake." In the end he decided to be very sincere and just say what came into his mind.
He had been pacing in his study when he finally heard her arrive, and to his great relief her sister was not accompanying her.
He approached her stating, "Miss Bennet, you must excuse my sister but she decided to sleep in today, she should be down in half an hour. In the meanwhile, can I interest you in taking a stroll in the gardens."
Elizabeth was amazed at his behavior, in that one sentence he had said more to her than during the whole last week. "I would very much like to see gardens, Georgiana informs me that she takes great pleasure in them."
After he had offered her his arm they set of in the direction of the gardens. They had been walking for about half an hour and Elizabeth was enjoying herself immensely. She and Mr. Darcy had been engaged in a very lively conversation. This was the Darcy she liked most, the lively man she had met at Pemberley.
Darcy had been waiting for the right opportunity, when Elizabeth sat down on a bench under a willow, he sat down next to her and decided that this might be a good moment.
"Miss Bennet," he began, "Elizabeth, I am very sorry to hear that you are leaving tomorrow. But I felt that I could let you leave before I expressed my true..."
His words, that sounded like music in Lizzy's ears, were interrupted by Colonel Fitzwilliam.
"I say, Darcy, I have been looking all over the place to find you. I wondered if you would like to go to your club this afternoon."
Darcy realized that the moment had been spoiled and just escorted Elizabeth back into the house. He saw that Georgiana was waiting for Elizabeth in the drawing room. He took her to his sister and told her that he hoped she would have a save journey back to Scotland.
Colonel Fitzwilliam had absolutely no idea that if eyes could kill, he would have been struck dead in a minute by three pairs of them. Darcy was furious because his cousin had spoiled his perfect moment. Lizzy realized that Darcy was about to tell her his real feelings when the Colonel's unwelcome interruption had taken place.
Georgiana who had been keeping a close eye on her brother and Miss Bennet, from an upstairs window, decided to have a word with her cousin. She realized that nothing more could be done now, Elizabeth had to return to Scotland tomorrow. She had to come up with a plan.
It did not take Georgiana long before she came up with a plan. But before she could set it in motion they had to return to Derbyshire.
While Georgiana was plotting on how to get Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth together, her brother was quite desolate. He left the house, after yet another disastrous proposal, together with his cousin. Colonel Fitzwilliam had absolutely no idea where Darcy's foul mood came from, he was oblivious to the fact that he was the reason for his cousin's mood. Against his better judgment he decided to inquire after miss Elizabeth Bennet.
"So, Darcy, when are going to make your move with Miss Bennet?"
Darcy halted abruptly "What..."
The Colonel, still not aware that it would be better for him to stay silent continued his inquiry. "Well, don't you think that after eight years it is time you proposed to her."
"Damn you, Fitzwilliam, I'll have you know that I was about to propose to her when you interrupted us with your annoying, I say Darcy. Now if you would excuse me, I must see to an urgent matter of business." Darcy turned round and started to walk away from his cousin.
It did not take Colonel Fitzwilliam long to realize what he had done. He just ruined the most important moment in his cousin's life. Darcy had every right to be furious at him.
During dinner that evening he did everything in his power to make amends with Darcy. Fitzwilliam and Darcy realized that the latter could stay angry with the former forever and a week later everything was forgiven and forgot.
Everything, except for Darcy's feeling of loss. He knew that it was very unlikely that he would ever see her again. His only wish was to go to Scotland and tell her how he felt, but alas. He could not leave his sister alone during this trying time.
Georgiana was now almost five months pregnant, she realized that she wanted to return home for the birth of her child.
She discussed her plans with her brother and they decided to travel to Derbyshire in two days.
The following day she took little William to the garden and decided to write some letters. While William was playing with his wooden sword, his mother observed him and she realized that these were moments that she wished to share with Ethan. But she also knew that she had to be strong, she had to honor her husbands memory with a healthy child.
William's sixth birthday was approaching fast and Georgiana decided that maybe it was time that she hired a governess. She appealed to her good friend Mrs. Gardiner and asked her if she could recommend her a good governess.
She had been a week at Newgrove Park when she got a reply from Mrs. Gardiner. Mrs. Gardiner recommended her niece, Miss Mary Bennet. Mary had excellent references and would lose her position the next week, as the boy she had been taking care of would go to Eton.
Mary Bennet was no longer the Mary Bennet she used to be. She had given up Fordyce a long time ago and discovered that there were other things in the world. Her performance on the piano had improved immensely but she had given up singing a long time ago. She was very happy with being a governess, she loved to be around children, but she also realized that something was missing in her life.
When her aunt informed her that Mrs. de Lorris offered her a position, she gladly accepted and two weeks later she was on her way to Derbyshire.
Mary was really anticipating her trip to Derbyshire, she always had a great wish to travel. After everything she heard from her aunt, she was really looking forward to seeing this part the country.
Newgrove Park was a very handsome estate, it was not as large as Pemberley but it reminded Mary a bit off Netherfield Park. From in the carriage she could see that the grounds were delightful, she could see that the owners did not interfere much with nature. This provided the inhabitants with lots of cozy walks.
Once Mary dismounted the carriage she was greeted very warmly by Mrs. de Lorris. She was glad to see that her sisters had not exaggerated when they told her about Georgiana's kindness.
"Miss Bennet," Georgiana said "I hope you had a nice journey, you are very welcome at Newgrove Park. I am very delighted to finally meet another of Lizzy and Jane's sisters."
"I assure you, Mrs. de Lorris, the pleasure is all mine, my aunt sends you her warmest regards."
Georgiana led Mary to the nursery where William was waiting very impatiently to meet his governess. Mary was instantly charmed by the little boy, who had only recently lost his father. William make a cute little bow towards his new governess.
It did not take Georgiana and Mary long to become friends. Not a week had passed before they started to call each other by their first names. Georgiana was by now almost six months pregnant and decided that it was time to set her plan in motion. September was approaching fast when she wrote a letter to Mr. Velton, who was a good friend of her late husband. She asked him to help her with her matchmaking scheme and he readily agreed.
Now, what was this great plan that Georgiana came up with. It was very simple, the main objective was to get her brother and miss Bennet together. Miss Bennet would come to Derbyshire in October and would stay with Georgiana during the last two months of her pregnancy. They realized that Elizabeth would not be willing to leave her two young pupils unguarded for such a long time. Therefore Mr. Velton told her that she deserved a vacation and that she need not worry since the sisters of his late wife were coming to stay with them until the Christmas season.
So without any further delays Lizzy arrived at Newgrove park the first of October. She was happy to see that her sister was enjoying her new pupil. But she could not help it that she was a bit worried. Georgiana had informed her, that her brother together with Colonel Fitzwilliam would be coming to stay at Newgrove Park indefinitely in two weeks time.
Ever since leaving London Lizzy was tormented by several questions. A little voice inside of her said that Mr. Darcy would have proposed to her if Colonel Fitzwilliam had not interrupted. She had always thought that she would accept his proposal but now she was having serious doubts. During most of her stay in London he had ignored her and during the last day he suddenly decided to propose. But then it was always possible that he was not about to propose but that he just wanted to talk with her about something. She thought that she knew him, but actually he was still a big mystery. One thing she knew, she loved him but, could she marry a man that she knew almost nothing of.
While Lizzy was having all these doubts, her sister and Georgiana were conspiring to bring their siblings together. Georgiana had to involve Mary in her plans since she would have to rest a lot and would have absolutely no time for matchmaking. They decided to give the two lovebirds as much time alone as possible, therefore Mary would have to keep Colonel Fitzwilliam busy when she was not watching William.
Darcy had no idea that his precious Miss Bennet was visiting his sister. Colonel Fitzwilliam was finding this quite amusing. He was having a tremendous feeling off déjà-vu, he could still remember seeing Darcy this gloomy when they came home for Kent all these years ago. His cousin had informed him off her plans, after giving him a lecture about showing up at the most appropriate moments. She told him to stay away from Miss Bennet, not to monopolize her conversation, and to keep himself busy with Miss Mary.
Keeping himself busy with Miss Mary was something he was not looking forward to, he could remember her from Bingley's wedding. A girl with little beauty and very dull conversation. He did not feel like listening to her and talk about Fordyce for two months.
He still had to tell his cousins that he had resigned from the army and was planning to retreat to his small estate after the birth Georgiana's child.
Lizzy was disappointed when the two weeks had passed. She did not think that she was ready to face Darcy. She wanted to hide and crawl into a corner. She did not want to see those beautiful eyes.
Darcy and Fitzwilliam used the carriage to go to Newgrove Park. Darcy was enjoying the scenery when his cousin spoke up.
"Darcy, old chap, can I give you one piece of advice, court her."
He looked up from the window with a puzzled face, "What do you mean, Fitzwilliam."
"Well, court Miss Bennet, don't stand there like an idiot, like you always tend to do when around her."
"I beg your pardon, Fitzwilliam, but Miss Bennet is in Scotland."
"Wrong" he replied with a sly smile, "she is at Newgrove park, and has been for these last two weeks."
Darcy was silent for some time after hearing this.
"Do you mean she was there all this time and you concealed it from me?"
The Colonel noticed that his cousin was becoming a bit agitated and answered him quickly. "Georgiana and I decided that it was best not to tell you until now. Your sister noticed that Miss Bennet was not yet ready to see you and well, I did not want you to see miss Bennet with this foul temper that has been plaguing you these last weeks."
After this they remained silent for some time until the Colonel spoke up again, "One last piece of advice, Darcy, when you see her, I beg you to not propose on the spot. Give her some time. Last time you saw her you both were preoccupied with Georgiana. You have not had a serious conversation in almost nine years."
When they arrived at Newgrove Park they were greeted by three ladies and a little boy. Darcy gave his sister a cross look and managed to stutter a "Miss Bennet, I am very glad to see you."
Colonel Fitzwilliam was watching with some amusement. He was surprised to see that Mary Bennet was looking not as plain as she used to and was finding the stuttering of his cousin very entertaining. He noticed that William was becoming quite attached to his governess but was still the little rascal he used to be. He was thinking that his trip could become quite interesting.
Elizabeth was glad that she managed to greet Mr. Darcy with some dignity, but she could not help noticing that he was looking as handsome as ever.
Everybody retired very early that evening, especially Darcy and Elizabeth needed some time to think. They both had a hard time falling asleep.
Like every morning Elizabeth was awake very early and went for a morning walk. She had a preference for the beautiful grounds she discovered in Derbyshire. While she was walking Darcy was watching her, he decided to take his cousin's advice and talk to her. He dismounted his horse, took the reins and walked to her.
"Good morning Miss Bennet, I see you have not lost your love for walks"
She curtsied and answered him slyly "And I see you have not lost your love to startle harmless women."
"Would you describe yourself as harmless Miss Bennet, I do not believe that you are harmless. But pray excuse me if I startled you. Might I have the honor to escort you back to the house."
She smiled at him and said that it would be her honor.
She was disappointed when they reached the breakfast room and there little tête-à-tête ended. She knew that this was the Darcy she liked, the Darcy she loved.
When they entered the breakfast room they were greeted by an arguing Mary and Colonel Fitzwilliam.
Mary got up and walked out of the room mumbling something that sounded like, insufferable man.
Darcy and Elizabeth both looked at Colonel Fitzwilliam for an explanation, but he just picked up his paper and finished his breakfast.
After breakfast they each went they separate ways. Lizzy was searching Mary when she remembered that this was the time William got his lessons. She ended up with Georgiana in the library. The library in Newgrove Park was quite small, it was obvious that the previous owners did not think very highly about books. It offered but a few volumes that where really interesting. Georgiana and her late husband loved to read but they had spent most of their time in London so the library stayed what it was.
"Georgiana" Elizabeth asked hesitantly " might I ask you something strange?"
"Of course Lizzy, you must know that you can ask me everything you wish."
"Well, I have always wondered how it feels like to be expecting. I believe that it must be wonderful, it must be, since you all look even more beautiful then." It almost seemed that Lizzy was the younger girl in this conversation, expecting some wise words from an older friend.
"Oh, Lizzy, It is, It is absolutely wonderful. I don't think that there is a more delightful feeling in the world. The knowledge that you have this little person growing in your body. It is great and I absolutely love it. But Lizzy, I am positive that you will experience it to some day."
"Dear Georgiana I really hope so, but I am afraid that there is no special person for me."
Maybe it was faith but that moment Darcy walked in just as Georgiana said "I think there is, Lizzy, I really think so."
Georgiana got up and was heading for the door when she suddenly had a brilliant idea. "William, why don't you and Miss Bennet go to Pemberley next week. You can show her the library, maybe there she will find something interesting to read."
This idea was agreeable for both parties and they decided to go to Pemberley in four days time.
Mary was very early for dinner that evening and the knowledge that everybody was still their rooms gave her a good excuse to slide down the staircase. She was astonished to see a footman gaping at her like she was some lunatic, but she did not care, everybody was allowed to act like a child sometimes.
When she entered the music room she was greeted by a very comical sight. Colonel Fitzwilliam was on his hands and knees with William on his back. He was crawling around acting like a horse. They did not notice Mary at first but when they did, she could not stop laughing and Colonel Fitzwilliam was looking very embarrassed. When Mary could finally contain herself, she took William to bed, trying not to imagine Colonel Fitzwilliam with a ponytail.
A quarter of an hour later she was back in the music room, she had hoped that the Colonel would have left by now but he had chosen to remain there and had taken HER seat behind the pianoforte. Again he did not notice her and when he started playing the pianoforte, Mary was so amazed she had to sit down, the horse-incident was quite forgotten.
When the Colonel stopped playing Mary startled him by starting to clap her hands.
"Miss Mary" he stumbled "I had no idea that you where here."
"I am very glad that I was here just in time to hear you play, you play very good Colonel, almost as good as Georgiana and much better than me."
The former Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam got up from behind the pianoforte and approached Mary, "Miss Mary, it is hard to believe that I should play better than you, you are such a proficient on the pianoforte. I hope you will do me the pleasure to play for us after dinner. Maybe, if you like, we could practice a duet, a Christmas song. It is already November, so we have two months, that is enough time to study a nice Christmas duet, wouldn't you agree?"
"Well, I...I...I would be very glad to practice a duet with you." She said hesitantly.
"Very well, then we can start practicing tomorrow in the afternoon when you have finished with Williams' lessons."
Mary had just enough time to answer his question positively when the others started coming in.
Dinner passed quickly and was very pleasant. Georgiana was glad to see that her brother and Elizabeth were deep in conversation, and even Mary and Colonel Fitzwilliam were getting along better. She hoped that it would be only a matter of days before her brother would propose.
That evening she had a hard time falling asleep, she could not help thinking about Ethan, every time she felt she baby kicking she wanted to share the feeling with him. She was convinced that it was girl, a girl who will be just like her father.
Georgiana was not the only one who had trouble falling asleep. Unable to sleep, Elizabeth had retired to the library, it offered enough boring books that could help a person fall asleep. She selected a volume of Fordyce's sermons and went back to her bedchamber.
Just as she reached the top of the stairs she bumped into someone, she dropped the book and felt that she was about to fall down the stairs when a pair of strong arms grabbed her. She instantly laid her hands on her saviours shoulders in an attempt to stable herself. When she recovered from the shock she finally looked up.
"Mr. Darcy" she uttered in complete shock.
"Miss Bennet, good evening, it seems we both have trouble falling asleep."
"You saved my life, without you I would have fell."
"Without me, nobody would have bumped into you?" He said while he was contemplating to remove his arms from around her, but deciding to leave them where they were."
"Nonetheless, I am very grateful for your help." As she said this, she removed her hands from his broad shoulders and he could do nothing else but to release her too.
He looked deep into her eyes and said "I bid you a good night, Miss Bennet." As he said this he lifted her hand and planted a gentle kiss on it, picked up her book, handed it over and descended the stairs.
Lizzy stood a bit dreamy at the top of the stairs, but finally collected herself and went to her bedchamber. Once there she realized that Mr. Darcy had seen her in her nightgown, she felt her cheeks growing pink, but fell asleep not much afterwards.
The next morning Fitzwilliam Darcy could kick himself for not grabbing the brilliant opportunity that he had last night, he should have kissed her. But his mood brightened up when he remembered that they were going to Pemberley the next day. He had one day left to make her change her mind about him and then, all he could do was hope, hope not to be rejected a second time.
Elizabeth was looking forward to yet another day of agreeable conversation with Mr. Darcy. That morning she was the last person to enter the breakfast room. She was surprised to see that Mary and the Colonel were not having their traditional morning argument, it even looked like they were actually getting along.
She was greeted by Mr. Darcy, who gave her a huge smile and helped her to her seat.
Georgiana looked a bit out of spirits, so Lizzy decided to spend more time with her friend and less with Mr. Darcy. After all she would be in his company the whole next day. She smiled to herself at the thought of spending a whole day with Fitzwilliam Darcy, this did not go unnoticed by the other occupants of the room.
"You seem very happy this morning, Miss Bennet. I assume you slept well and dreamed about a knight on shining armour who came to save you out off this boring place." Colonel Fitzwilliam exclaimed, finding himself quite funny, but getting a very disapproving look from Mary.
"I thank you Colonel, I had some trouble falling asleep but after a bit off reading I slept very well, and you could say I dreamt about a knight, though I doubt they come with a shining armour these days." Lizzy concluded with a smile.
Did she just looked in my direction when she said that or am I imaging things I wish to be true, Darcy contemplated. Dearest Elizabeth, he thought, will you make me the happiest man in the world.
After breakfast they each went there separate ways. The Colonel went for a walk, while he was trying to decipher the mystery that Miss Mary Bennet was. I wonder why she looked so cross at me when I was just joking about a knight. I'm quite lucky that she didn't start moralizing about the defects off a knight at breakfast table. But what do I care about Miss high and mighty Mary Bennet, not a penny. Why did I ever agree to study a Christmas duet with THAT governess. Because you suggested yourself, fool, what was I thinking. Remember Fitzwilliam that you are doing this for Darcy's happiness. All right, I admit it I am also doing this for my own pleasure, Miss Mary is starting to affect my, who would have thought. Why do I like her so much? She irritates me, I irritate her, she's not an extraordinary beauty, but I so love those curls that escape her very severe hairstyle. He snorted and imagined what Lady Catherine's reaction would be if she were still alive. The son of the earl of Matlock and a mere governess, it is not to be borne, are the shades off Matlock to be thus polluted.
While the Colonel was amusing himself, Mr. Darcy was going through his morning correspondence and received some distressing news. It seemed that his steward needed his help with some business up north, concerning his estate in Scotland. This meant, much to Darcy's chagrin that he had to postpone his outing with Miss Bennet, including his proposal. Damn he exclaimed.
Elizabeth and Georgiana retired to the music room. Georgiana asked Lizzy to play something for her. Not long afterwards she stopped playing and joined Georgiana on the settee.
"Please Georgiana, won't you tell me what is wrong. You look so gloomy."
"Oh, Lizzy" she burst into tears "I am so unhappy. I am so lonely, without Ethan. He was my everything. Sometimes I wished that I hadn't survived the accident."
Lizzy folded her arms around Georgiana and started stroking her hair, in a vain attempt to soothe her grieve. "You mustn't speak like this, Georgiana. There is not much I can say. But think off your son and your other child. What would William do without his mother and he would not be having a brother or sister if you had died. What you have been through was terrible and it is not something you recover from in a few months. You must know that you can always talk to me when you are feeling down."
"Thank you Lizzy", she sniffed "You really are a good friend." Lizzy smiled at her and they gave each other a big hug.
A few minutes later Mr. Darcy entered the room and informed them of his bad news. "So I fear Miss Bennet that we will have to postpone our outing for a few weeks."
"Oh...", she responded, disappointment clearly written on her face "I'm sure I will be able to entertain myself with the books in this library, who knows, I could discover some hidden treasures."
"Do you really think that your business will take several weeks, William." Georgiana asked with a small voice. "I would really wish that you are here when I go into labour."
"I think that I will be back by then, I will try to be back in less than a month. But I fear that I have to leave immediately."
"Immediately, but what if you are not back in time?" Georgiana started sobbing again, it was becoming a bit to much for her.
"I promise I will be back, next month."
Georgiana nodded but she couldn't stop sobbing, Lizzy discretely left the room and went to Georgiana's bedchamber. In the music room Mr. Darcy gathered his sister in his arms and asked if she wanted to lay down a bit. Georgiana only nodded and he picked her up and carried her to her bedchamber. It was just as Lizzy had foreseen. She pulled the covers down, Mr. Darcy laid his sister in bed and Georgiana fell asleep immediately.
They both exited the room and descended the stairs. The carriage was already awaiting Darcy at the front entrance. He had already taken his leave from his cousin and his nephew and his governess.
At the bottom of the stairs Lizzy finally spoke up. "I hope you have a nice journey, Mr. Darcy."
"Yes, thank you. I can assure you that I would rather not go on this journey. I hope that my sister is in good hands."
"You must not distress yourself, we all love Georgiana very much and we will not let anything happen to her. We will all be awaiting your speedy return sir."
Lizzy said as she looked at him and gave him an encouraging smile.
Mr. Darcy took a step in her direction got hold off her hand and said "I hope you are all hoping that I return quickly." He placed his hand under her chin and tilted up her head so she looked at him. "Elizabeth, I promise you that I will try to come back as soon as possible. I believe that we have a prior engagement that I intend to keep."
Oh my, she thought, he used my first name. Could I dare to hope.
He smiled at her and she smiled back. "Yes, Fitzwilliam, I can't wait to visit your most praised library."
Oh my, he thought, she used my first name. Could I dare to hope.
He took another step towards her and before they realized what they were doing Darcy gave Elizabeth a soft kiss. He put his arms around her waist and deepened the kiss. Without any hesitation Elizabeth threw her arms around his neck and answered his kiss.
Slowly they broke off the kiss, took a step backwards and gazed at each other. But before either of them could say something, a footman entered.
"Excuse me, Mr. Darcy, your carriage is ready."
"Yes thank you, I will come directly." He looked at Lizzy and said "I will be back within a months time. Will you wait for me?"
"Of course, but now you must go. I hope you have a safe and pleasant journey." She smiled.
"Yes, goodbye. I will see you in a few weeks." He said very insecure.
Darcy went to his carriage and Elizabeth climbed the stairs. She was almost at the top of the stairs when she heard someone running down the hall. She turned round and saw Mr. Darcy climbing the stairs. Still running, taking two steps at a time.
When he was in front of Elizabeth he kissed her again, whispered "dearest, loveliest Elizabeth, I love you".
Lizzy was dumbstruck, Darcy descended the stairs and went to his carriage whilst whistling a merry song.
Once in his carriage he thought "I cannot believe I kissed her."
Elizabeth went to her bedchamber in a daze. Once in her room she left herself fall backwards on her bed. "I cannot believe he kissed me. I cannot believe that I kissed him back. But what if he only wants me to be his mistress?"
A few days after Darcy’s departure Elizabeth and Mary were taking a walk in the garden when Lizzy decided to tell her sister what had happened a few days before.
“He kissed you and you kissed him back, I cannot believe it Lizzy. You are not even engaged to him, it is not proper. What would our parents have thought if they would still be alive?” Lizzy rolled her eyes as her sister went on with her moralizing speech.
“Mary, please stop this nonsense. Mama would have the whole house in uproar, constantly saying 10.000 a year, imagine all those carriages and jewelry. And besides Mary, I’m quite sure that when a certain Colonel would try to kiss you, these thoughts would not even cross your mind. There’s no need to blush like that, you cannot hide your feelings.” Lizzy answered with a devilish smile. Mary gave her sister a small smile.
“Is it that obvious, Lizzy, I thought that nobody knew? But it is a hopeless case, the Colonel needs a rich heiress, I’m but a mere governess. But more important, I have nothing to offer him, I am no extraordinary beauty like my sisters.” Mary concluded as she sat down on a bench.
“But Mary, don’t you know that the Colonel inherited a small estate in Kent, Lady Catherine left it to him. This means that he no longer needs an heiress and that he can marry for love. I do not want to give you any false hope but I think that the Colonel is not immune against the charms that you posses, my dear sister. Only you do not realize that you have grown into a beautiful young lady. Have a little confidence in yourself; I’m sure that everything will turn out for the best. Just follow your heart.” Lizzy answered as she sat down next to her sister.
The two sisters sat quiet for a while. Some time later the Colonel approached them.
“Ladies, I am sorry to disturb your little gathering. Miss Bennet, Georgiana inquires if you will accompany her into town for a few little errands.”
After Elizabeth left, the Colonel turned to Mary with a small smile in his eyes. “Miss Mary, do you think that you could lend me some of your valuable time to study our duet. The house will be quite empty, so I will not bother anyone with my wailing!”
They retired to the music room, and finally after a week off discussing they finally decided which Christmas song they would sing. Their choice fell on “While shepherds watched their flocks by night.”* During their first rehearsal Mary discovered that the Colonel wailing was an understatement. They wisely decided to leave the singing up to Mary and leave the Colonel in charge of the pianoforte.
The following days passed very slowly. Mary and Colonel practiced whenever she was not taking care of William and Georgiana and Elizabeth spent the most of their time together.
Although the departure of her brother had saddened her, she was glad to have her friends and son around her. She was now in the last weeks of her pregnancy and she had to rest a lot. She was a bit worried about giving birth for a second time. William’s birth had not been easy, but it was worth it. She got a lot of support from Elizabeth and was saddened by the though that Lizzy had to stay out of the room during the birth. She remembered with a smile Ethan reaction to William’s birth. He had heard her cries in the hallway and could not control himself anymore. He had forced his way into the room saying “That is my wife out there, I have the right to do this!”. He stayed with her during those long fourteen hours and she had loved him even more for it.
* During the Regency period Christmas was celebrated in another fashion then we know now. They did not now many Christmas Carols, but this is one of them.
While shepherds watched their flocks by night,
All seated on the ground,
The angel of the Lord came down,
And glory shone around,
And glory shone around.
“Fear not!” said he, for mighty dread
Had seized their troubled mind.
“Glad tidings of great joy I bring
To you and all mankind
To you and all mankind.
“To you, in David’s town, this day
Is born of David’s line
A Savior, who is Christ the Lord,
And this shall be the sign,
And this shall be the sign.
“The heavenly Babe you there shall find
To human view displayed,
All meanly wrapped in swathing bands,
And in a manger laid,
And in a manger laid.”
Thus spake the seraph and forthwith
Appeared a shining throng
Of angels praising God on high,
Who thus addressed their song,
Who thus addressed their song:
“All glory be to God on high,
And to the Earth be peace;
Good will henceforth from heaven to men
Begin and never cease,
Begin and never cease!”
During the last week of November Elizabeth received a letter from Mr. Velton. He informed her that she could prolong her stay in Derbyshire until the end of January. He was going to visit his brother Julian. The children would accompany him, since their nephews were about the same age.
The Colonel had finally informed them that he no longer was a Colonel. He had left the army and was now but a mere Mr. Fitzwilliam, and wanted to be addressed as such. He and Mary kept spending all their free time practicing. But since William could be, at times, a very demanding little boy, Mary had not that much time for herself. But she did not mind at all. She loved her little protégée; he was a very bright boy.
Ever since her last conversation with her sister she noticed that her mind kept wandering towards Mr. Fitzwilliam. That man confused her, she had no idea how to deal with these new feelings and sensations. Could it be love? She kept saying to herself that he meant nothing to her. But she caught herself staring out the window, looking for him in the garden. She felt her pulse quicken when he suddenly approached her. They had been practicing for almost a month now, and she was looking forward to their daily practice.
Meanwhile Georgiana felt that her time was coming, she hoped that her brother would return soon. But she was to be disappointed. On the 28th of November she went into labor. Elizabeth sent out Mr. Fitzwilliam to fetch the doctor and the midwife, otherwise he would only be in the way. They returned swiftly and the doctor expressed his concern about Georgiana. He was afraid that this birth would ask too much of Georgiana’s fragile body. Her illness was still very recent. They all prayed that the baby would be healthy.
During the afternoon a carriage pulled up at the front entrance. Mr. Darcy was surprised that no one greeted him. But luckily Mrs. Reynolds approached him and informed him of the situation. He went upstairs and there he found three very nervous people. He greeted them all, but it was very obvious that they had other concerns; they barely noticed his return.
Two hours later the doctor came out of the room and approached Mr. Darcy. “Congratulations Sir, you are now the uncle of a very healthy girl.” He said.
Darcy gave a small smile and immediately inquired after Georgiana. “How is my sister doing, did she suffer any problems due to her illness?”
The doctor saw before him a very caring brother and he understood his concern. “Your sister is doing fine, her injuries of last year caused no problems. She is a bit tired and she will probably fall asleep during the next minutes. You can go to her if you wish.”
Mr. Darcy thanked the doctor, then turned towards Mr. Fitzwilliam and said “Richard, I am going to see my sister and niece. Why don’t you escort the ladies to the drawing room. There is not much more you can do here. Don’t worry if I should miss dinner; I am going to stay as long as possible with my sister.”
Elizabeth was very relieved that Georgiana had had no problems. Her friend will be very glad; she had always wanted a daughter. Lizzy did not feel like sitting in a dull drawing room, so she suggested to Mary that she would take William for a walk.
Darcy entered his sister's room and found her sleeping. His newborn niece was laying very peaceful in the cradle next to her mothers bed. He let out a sigh of relief, he was so glad that his sister was alright, he could not bare to lose her. He picked up a chair and settles himself next to her bed and waited.
Posted on Tuesday, 11 March 2003
Mary and Richard found themselves alone in the drawing room. There were sitting in an awkward manner sipping tea, biting a cookie and stealing glances at each other. Finally he got up, approached her and seated himself next to the object of his affection.
"Miss Mary, this will not do, we are not complete strangers who barely know one another. Yet we are acting like it. I must say that this looks like a bloody awkward situation."
Mary gasped and looked at him. "Mr. Fitzwilliam, please, must you swear all the time. It is very unbecoming. Must I remind you that you are a gentleman and that you are currently talking to a lady." She took on her haughty attitude and turned away from him.
"Richard!", he said with a smirk.
"I beg your pardon", Mary said while getting out of her seat.
"Call me Richard, we no longer are common acquaintances." Adding to himself that he wanted her to be much more.
"Alright, then you must call me Mary. But I insist that we continue to address each other like we used to when we are in the company of others."
He rolled his eyes again and suggested that they should practice their quatre mains. Mary agreed and they silently finished their tea before adjourning to the music room.
They had been practicing for about half an hour and Mary noticed that Richard was not really paying attention to their play. He just seemed to be fooling around and it was starting to irritate her. With a loud sigh she spoke her mind and he looked surprised.
"I am truly sorry Mary, I had not realized that I was this distracted. But how am I supposed to concentrate when so much beauty is sitting but mere inches from me."
Mary gave a sarcastic smile, "Flattery will not help you, and talking in clichés most definitely not!", and then she urged him to continue playing.
But alas, Richard Fitzwilliam was too distracted; he had just decided that this would be the day. This would be the day that she would become his.
He got a hold of himself and started playing much better. Suddenly he placed his hand onto Mary's fragile hand, which gave her quite a fright, but a pleasant one. He entwined their fingers and placed a small kiss on her hand. Mary in her turn was looking at him, mouth open, in astonishment; she could almost hear her heart beating. But then he released her hand and he continued playing with a smug smile of his face.
Mary was still a bit out of this world, and it took her a few moments to find her play. It was beyond her that any gentleman could have an interest in her, and least of all such a fine one like Richard. She knew in her heart that she loved him. She had fallen in love with him the first time she saw him. He could be irritating and he swore and she was pretty sure that he abhorred Fordyce but she did not care. She did not mind at all, as long as he was with her she felt happy.
The end of their daily practice was nearing and she was so engrossed in her own thoughts that she almost did not hear him when he addressed her.
"Mary, you do know that I have a high regard for you?"
Her initial response was hitting a false note, which amused him greatly, but then she turned herself towards him.
"Thank you Richard, honesty commands me to say that this feeling is mutual."
He looked up at her with a very intense look in his eyes "Do you really mean that?"
This was getting a little too intimate too Mary's liking and she rose from behind the piano, away from him. "Of course I mean it, you are a very worthy young man, a good friend to all of us."
He rose also and approached her. "A good friend, is that all. Mary are you this naive. Can you not see that I want to be much more. I want to..."
"Stop it right there", she interjected, "don't say those things. Don't play with my emotions. I am emotionally too much involved to handle such mockery!"
She stepped back and was almost on the verge of tears by now. Ignoring her retreat he followed her, "Do you know me this bad, to believe me such a rake. I would not play with your feelings. Nor would I play with my own. I love you Mary. I've loved you ever since the first time you scorned me."
“Stop shaking your head miss high and might Mary Bennet. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please Mary believe me, I would not even dare to joke over such a thing. Make me the happiest man on this earth and consent to be my wife."
By now tears were streaming freely over her cheeks but she looked at him with such happiness in her eyes. "Oh Richard, I love you too and I there is nothing in the world that would make me happier that to face the rest of my life by your side."
He scooped her up into his arms and started spinning her around, much to her dismay, "Stop it, you will make your fiancée sick."
He put her back onto the ground "My fiancée, my Mary". He caressed her cheek and gave her a lovesick look. She raised her head to his and he lowered his and they ended in a very tender kiss.
"My,my Miss Mary, I did not now that governesses were such expert kissers." She gave him a playful tap on the arm and reminded him that he first had to acquire his consent from Mr. Bingley.
He laughed "Charles, that will be ease, he will probably be all smiles and very happy for us."
The newly-engaged couple decided to keep it secret until Richard had gotten his consent from Mr. Bingley. Although to tell the truth Mary was dying to tell Lizzy and Georgiana her wonderful news. She had never been more happy in her entire life.
Posted on Sunday, 21 March 2004
Richard sent an express to Bingley, who, of course, offered his consent immediately. His consent was accompanied by lots of good wishes and a letter for Mary, in which her sister expressed her heartfelt congratulations. They made the announcement the day after Bingleys letter arrived and naturally everyone was delighted.
To everyone’s satisfaction Georgiana seemed to be recovering swiftly and baby Anne was as healthy as can be.
The following week the Bingleys came to Derbyshire to attend Anne’s baptism. Elizabeth was very glad to be reunited with her sister. Bingley, as always his humorous self, could not help teasing Richard about his upcoming nuptials. They could not stay long since Jane did not want to be apart from her children for too long. A week later they bode everyone farewell and returned to London.
It was now well into December and the snow was gradually falling down. The house was preparing for Christmas. Gifts were wrapped, the tree was set and everybody was looking forward to hearing Mary and Richard’s duet.
Meanwhile Elizabeth was not her usual self. Ever since Mr. Darcy had returned from his business trip he had been keeping his distance. By now she was quite convinced that he harboured no feelings for her. The stolen kisses did not mean a thing for him. She no longer believed that he had meant it, when he said that he loved her. It was tearing her apart. He was so close but he was unreachable. She had to content herself with a loveless life, a life without Mr. Darcy.
But his feelings were quite the opposite. He had been trying to get a moment alone with Elizabeth but his sister’s house was too crowded, she was never alone. He was starting to get desperate. He was afraid that she would think ill of him. Kissing her passionately and then ignoring her like that. But his luck was changing. That evening he found her in the library, quite alone.
“Ah Miss Bennet, I’ve been meaning to talk to you in private.” He exclaimed.
Elizabeth jumped, she had thought she was alone “Mr. Darcy,” she smiled “you startled me, sir. How can I be of service to you?”
“In many ways” he thought, out loud he said “I have been thinking about our planned outing to my library at Pemberley. The weather has been very mild these last days. I know that you are an exercised walker. Maybe you would care to join me on a walk to Pemberley tomorrow. It is only four miles. We can visit my library, have some luncheon and then return with the carriage. What do you say?”
“I, hum, well, hum, I would be glad to accompany you tomorrow, Thank you Mr. Darcy, I have no other plans.”
“Splendid, splendid, we will leave after breakfast. Until tomorrow then Miss Bennet.”
“Goodnight Mr. Darcy” she said. The moment that he walked out off the door she lowered herself in on of the chairs and sighed. “He is such a droll man, how am I ever going to survive tomorrow?”
“We are now about to enter onto the grounds off Pemberley” Darcy spoke up “but I fear that I am going to have to help you a bit, Miss Bennet. We are now in fact standing on a stone wall. What you see a few feet below is Pemberley. I’m afraid that we will have to jump down.” As he said the words he jumped down and turned to face her. “You can jump it is not too deep and I will catch you.”
“Well, I have never been one to turn down a challenge. I don’t think that I will be needing your help Mr. Darcy. I am quite capable of jumping such a small distance without your assistance.” She smiled archly.
“Oh, but Miss Bennet, I absolutely insist on helping you.” He smiled back.
She jumped and he quickly stepped forward and caught her, they were face to face. Elizabeth coloured slightly “Mr. Darcy, did I not tell you that I was capable of jumping down by myself.”
“But Elizabeth” he said as he lowered her to the ground “I would not want any harm to come to you.” He kissed her nose, turned around, took her hand and dragged a very confused Elizabeth behind him.
“Come on, we’re almost there.” He exclaimed enthusiastically.
“You kissed me.” She whispered.
He stopped suddenly and turned to face her “Well I would not call that a real kiss, this on the other hand…” he said as he cupped her face and slowly lowered his mouth upon hers. Their lips touched softly at first but once he felt her relax and she put her arms around his neck their kiss deepened. He released her and after giving her on soft kiss on the lips he said smugly “now that was a real kiss.”
“Fitzwilliam Darcy” she chuckled “you can be so arrogant sometimes. But I love you none the less.” Elizabeth blushed when she realized what she had just said aloud. Meanwhile Mr. Darcy’s face was beaming. “Do you mean that Elizabeth? You are to generous to trifle with me.” He was looking worried now “If your feelings are still what they were all those years ago tell me so know. My feelings and wishes are unchanged. But one word from you will silence me on this subject forever.”
“Fitzwilliam” she said as she caressed his cheek “I would not tell you that I love you if I did not mean it. I love you, I have loved you for the past nine years. Why else would I let you kiss me. You are truly an extraordinary man, I could never love someone as I love you.”
He picked her up and twirled her around. “Oh, Elizabeth, you make me deliriously happy. You will of course marry me.”
She laughed “Was that a question or a demand? You’ve had nine years to brush up your proposal skills. Don’t ruin it now, Mr. Darcy” she said sternly but with a smile in her eyes.
“Of course I wont, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth” he got down on one knee and very simply said “Elizabeth I love you with all my heart will you please relieve my suffering and consent to be my wife and make me the happiest man on the planet?”
“Seeing that I want to be the happiest woman on the planet I will gladly accept your proposal.” She exclaimed archly.
Mr. Darcy was of course overjoyed and twirled her around once more before they sealed the deal with another lengthy kiss.
A month later a double wedding took place. Mr. and Mrs. Fitzwilliam took off to Kent and little William was very sad to loose his governess. Life in Kent was very happy for them. Their little arguments continued of course, but the making up was worth it all. Their first son was born not a year later and was followed by two brothers and sisters.
Mr. and Mrs. Darcy decided that they were the happiest couple in the world, even happier than the Bingleys. Their first child was a daughter, which they called Georgiana. The only had one more child, a son, who they called Ethan.
Georgiana was very happy to live so near to her best friend. She took much joy in the upbringing of her children. After six years she finally met Mr. Velton in person. He was visiting the Darcys with his children and he and Georgiana became fast friends. They shared a grief and worries about their children. Although they both carried their former spouses in their heart they learned to love again and one year later they got married.