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Chapter Fifty-Nine

For the second time in a month, Elisabeth found herself involved in the process of moving someone out of the downstairs apartment where she'd lived for almost five years. It felt strange to her that she was the one leaving, because she had always thought if anyone was going to leave this apartment, it would Charlie because she'd be fed up with Elisabeth's habits. Elisabeth had figured on living in the Jaycee Avenue apartment for many years to come, and while she was really only moving upstairs, it felt more like miles.

To Elisabeth's surprise, there wasn't a great deal that needed to be moved since she'd moved odds and ends into Darcy's apartment over the past few months. Most of the electronic equipment belonged to Charlie. Elisabeth couldn't move her bed because the second upstairs bedroom had become Grace's nursery, so it was being sold. Most of Elisabeth's things consisted of cooking utensils, which Darcy was, not surprisingly, lacking, and personal items. Granted, she had a great many personal items, but when she compared moving upstairs to the day they'd moved Jenna into the townhouse she now shared with Chazz, she didn't seem to have as much as her sister had had.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay, Charlie?" she asked as Charlie walked into Darcy's apartment with a box of CDs. "Financially, I mean?"

Charlie nodded as she set the box on Darcy's dining room table. "I decided not to quit working at the store," she replied. "I was going to do it, but I can't. Maybe when Jack finally settles things with his mother..."

"Which may be never," Elisabeth pointed out.

"I'm trying to be optimistic, El. Jack and I just worked things out between us with the understanding that I wouldn't be going near his mother or his sisters anytime soon. If Jack can deal with the mother, I think that will take care of the sisters problem. Not in very happy fashion, of course, but it would solve the problem."

"How?"

"They'd never speak to him again. The irrational part of my mind tells me that not having contact with his sisters would be the best thing for Jack. The rest of me knows that despite their differences, despite everything, he loves them very much and doesn't want them to hate him."

"Sounds like more than they can say," Elisabeth commented. "Remind me to give Lydia a big hug when I see her next time, okay? She may be a big pain in the butt, and she seems to know exactly how to tick me off, but at least I know she loves me. And I love her."

Charlie smiled and nodded. "You still haven't figured out how to politely ask her not to invite George to the wedding, have you?"

Elisabeth groaned and walked out of the apartment to get more of her things. Charlie followed her. Elisabeth picked up a box of silverware. "No, I haven't," she finally answered. "And I know that when I do, we're headed for a major fight. What ticks me off is that I know Ma will take her side. 'I don't understand the problem, Ellie,' she'll say, as if she's been oblivious to everything that's happened in the last year. She seems to think that with Darcy adopting Grace, my entire past with George will be wiped clean."

"You could keep hoping that they'll break up," Charlie suggested as she picked up a box half-filled with plates.

"No, I'm starting to lose hope there, too. Did you hear what George got her for Christmas? Diamond earrings to match the bracelet he bought her. The earrings didn't match the bracelet, of course, but Lydia wouldn't know the difference. And what gets me, what I know eats Darcy up inside, is knowing where the money came from."

"Does Lydia know where the money came from?"

Elisabeth shook her head as the two of them walked out of the apartment and slowly made their way back upstairs. "We probably should've told her. I know Ginger was tempted to do it Christmas day, but for some reason she didn't and now she and Lydia are e-mailing each other constantly."

Charlie snorted. "How did that happen?"

"Beats the hell out of me, but more power to them, I guess. I doubt Lydia would've believed Ginger if she'd told her, anyway. If Lydia ever breaks up with George, I'm sure she and Ginger will have a great time telling George-is-a-big-fat-jerk stories, but until then, Ginger is keeping quiet about it."

"Does Lydia even know they went out? That seems a bit too big for her not to know."

"Oh, yeah, that was one of the first things Ginger told her. Lydia seemed to accept it and move on, just like she does with everything. I envy her that quality sometimes," Elisabeth said ruefully as they walked into Darcy's apartment. "I wish I had the ability to let things blow over the way she does. Instead, I hold on to every resentment and insult until it drives me crazy. And even when I acknowledge that I have to let it go, I still find myself thinking about it."

"I don't think you'd want to be like Lydia," Charlie said. "Look at what most people's opinions of her are like. Would you like to be known as an empty-headed nitwit?"

"Maybe it would be better to be a nitwit than a witch." Elisabeth walked into the kitchen and set the silverware box down with a thud. Charlie was slightly more careful with the fragile plates.

"I don't think anyone sees you as a witch," Charlie protested.

"You saw me as a witch several times this year," Elisabeth pointed out.

"Yes, but you were pregnant for nine months of it. That is considered a mitigating circumstance in a court of law." Rather than head back downstairs, Charlie flopped onto Darcy's couch and said, "I need a few minutes. This moving is starting to wear me out. Why isn't Darcy around to help out?"

"Darcy is at the bookstore with paint samples and some ideas for carpeting that he wanted to run by the owner. Why he would be seeking her opinion when she's the one who's let the place go is beyond me, but it's a nice gesture and one he insisted he had to make. So there he is. Besides, I told him we could handle this fine by ourselves. And we can, can't we?"

"Speak for yourself. I'd much prefer to have the strong back of a man to get some of that crap out of the apartment." Charlie stretched her arms over her head and yawned. "So, March twenty-second, huh?"

Elisabeth decided that Charlie was right----they needed a break. She went to the refrigerator and poured two glasses of lemonade for them. She returned to the living room, handed one to Charlie, and took a seat next to her on the couch. "Yeah," she replied.

"Why did you guys decide to get married so soon? It's a little late for shotguns, don't you think? Grace is here already."

"Because Grace's grandmother is driving us crazy," Elisabeth said. "I'd just as soon she not drive us crazy over an extended period of time. So we decided on a short date."

"Which is guaranteed to drive your mother crazy," Charlie said with a grin. "Are you going to let her do all the planning?"

"God, no! She came over yesterday with bridal magazines. She'd marked pages with the wedding gowns she liked. We're talking Gone with the Wind hoops with bodices so tight every single bit of my baby fat will be showing. Picture me drowning in lace, and you'll get the idea. When I mentioned that to her, she said, 'Well, how do you think women back then looked good in these dresses? They wore corsets to smooth out the bulges.'"

"Oh, no."

"Uh-huh. So I told her that there wasn't enough money in the world to get me into a corset, and even if there was, they didn't make a corset that would contain all this." Elisabeth pointed to her stomach. It was much smaller than it had been before the birth, but still noticeably larger than it had been before she'd gotten pregnant. "I suppose I could starve myself to death on some diet to try and lose it before the wedding."

"You could. Or you could do what my dad's done and try the Atkins diet. He lost about forty pounds on it." Charlie took a drink of her lemonade. "I'd love to try it, but I don't think I'd have the willpower to give up pizza. Or breadsticks. Or pretzel-and-cheese Combos."

"Me, either."

"Speaking of things you gave up, why aren't you drinking your body weight in Dr. Pepper right now?" Charlie asked.

"Because I'm breast-feeding Grace. I was having a lovely Dr. Pepper in the hospital when the doctor told me that Grace would pick up the caffeine through milk and it could cause her problems. So no more Dr. Pepper until she's weaned." Elisabeth sighed and looked at her lemonade. "I managed to go nine months without it. I can go a few more."

Charlie snorted. "The hell you went nine months without caffeine. I know you better than that, Elisabeth. You were sneaking it in whenever you could."

"I limited it to a couple of glasses a week, I swear!" Elisabeth protested. "I was afraid to have anything more than that."

Charlie gave her a skeptical look but returned to the original subject. "So, what kind of dress do you see yourself wearing?" she asked.

Elisabeth grew thoughtful. "I don't know. To be honest, I never saw myself in wedding dress at all, except that one nightmare I had where I was getting married at the store."

"You never thought you'd get married?"

"I figured I'd get married someday. I just had the feeling that when I did, I'd be eloping to the nearest place that would let me get married in a hurry. My wedding gown was that beautiful ivory dress I wore to the senior prom."

"Oh, I loved that dress," Charlie breathed. "And I hated your guts for a year because it wouldn't have looked as good on me, even if I'd been able to wear it."

"Unfortunately, neither of us would be able to wear it now, even if it were good enough to wear as a wedding gown."

"Did you take a look through the bridal magazines after your mother left?"

Elisabeth nodded. "Ignoring all the pages she'd marked, of course. I didn't really see anything that grabbed my attention. Besides, even if I did, how would I ever afford anything like them? They're all designer originals that must cost tens of thousands of dollars."

"Not to mention that you'll only be wearing it once," Charlie pointed out. "Why would anyone spend more than a couple hundred dollars for a dress you'll only wear once? For that matter, why even spend that much? I don't get it."

"That's because you'd rather spend that 'couple hundred dollars' on a few dozen books. What does your ideal wedding gown look like?"

Charlie smiled wistfully. "Like it would belong on a twig rather than on me. My ideal wedding gown is going to cover my bulges while accentuating my curves. In other words, it's the dress that doesn't exist."

"Same here." Elisabeth sighed and decided to spring the question she'd been waiting to ask on her cousin. "Be one of my bridesmaids?"

"Are you insane?" Charlie had obviously been waiting for her to ask.

"Pleeeease?"

"No. The last thing my sagging self-esteem needs is for God knows how many people to spend any amount of time staring at my big butt, which will be wonderfully accentuated with a big fat bow."

"There is not going to be a single bow on the female side of the wedding party. I'd rather die."

"Don't you mean you'd be afraid we'd kill you?" Charlie said with a chuckle. "Or are you afraid of the paybacks when and if the rest of us get married?"

"A combination of both. Lydia's already threatened to shoot me if she sees a bow anywhere near her gown."

"Lydia is going to be in your wedding party?"

"Well, I could hardly say no, could I? She's my sister. And if I did try to say no, Ma would've had a fit and I really don't want to start a family feud over my wedding. Things are going to be hard enough when we go to war over George without adding to it."

"True enough. And Jenna's the maid of honor, right?"

"Yes." Elisabeth paused. "You're not mad that I didn't ask you, are you?"

"Considering that I've already turned down your offer to be a bridesmaid, how can you think I'm mad you asked your sister to be your maid of honor?"

"Charlie, you have to be a bridesmaid. How could I possibly explain to Grace that she was named after her Aunt Charlie, who was her parents' best friend, but that you refused to be in my wedding party?"

"That's blackmail!"

"Damn right it is. Is it working yet?"

Before Charlie could answer, the telephone rang. Elisabeth almost let the answering machine pick up but, sensing somehow that it would be Ruth, answered the call. "Hello?"

"Ellie! I'm glad you're there. Listen, I was talking to your Aunt Amanda today and she had a wonderful idea for where the reception could be held! Now, hear me out before turning it down, but I've been trying to find a place and there's nothing."

"Nothing? What do you mean, nothing?"

"As I told you, the K.C. Hall was booked for the year. I tried the convention center, but there's nothing available. I tried the Midway, for God's sake, although that was only a last resort. They have nothing."

"What about the Watson Civic Center?" Elisabeth asked.

"A family reunion is being held there." Ruth sounded apologetic.

"Damn, damn, damn."

"Well, I did warn you that this would happen, Ellie. You and Darcy simply must postpone the wedding until we can find a reception hall."

"Ma, Darcy and I can get married any time we please with or without a reception. So what great idea came to you while you were talking to Aunt Amanda?"

"She asked me if I'd tried to get a place at Lake Sara, and I said I had but there was nothing available. So then she suggested that we ask Joe and Heather if we could have the reception at their house!"

Elisabeth looked over at Charlie. "You want a reception at your parents' house?" she asked.

"Not if you're getting married in March," Charlie replied.

"Good point." She turned back to her mother on the phone, who was still talking. "Ma, it'll be too cold in March to have a reception outside."

"Well, I know that dear, but I was thinking that if you liked the idea maybe you would be convinced enough to move back the date..."

"For the last time, no. Darcy likes March 22, and so do I."

"All right, all right. I'll keep checking around, but like I said, there hasn't been anything available so far. Unless you want to have the reception at the church, which I don't think they allow anymore even if you had a church at the moment, then..."

"What about a hotel? Have you called any of them to see if maybe there's one available?"

There was a pause. "Well, dear, if you do that, you probably won't be able to invite as many people as you'd want. The size of your reception site is going to depend on how many people you and Darcy decide to invite to the reception. Have either of you stopped to think about how many people you're going to have?"

Elisabeth groaned. "Ma, we're just starting out. Obviously neither of us has had a thought as to what size wedding we're going to have. Can I talk with him and get back to you on it?"

"Well, I suppose so. I'll call the hotels and see what I can get. You two think about how many people you want, and if you want a D.J. or a band, and what do you want to eat, and what kind of cake?"

"Right. I'll talk to you later."

"But we haven't even started with the..."

"Ma, I have to go. I have a call on the other line. Bye!" Elisabeth hung up before her mother could continue. "She's going to drive me crazy before this is all over. I just know it."

"Come on, it might not be so bad. She might get fed up with the lack of help on your part and decide to forget the whole thing."

"I'm not about to let that happen. If I do nothing, she'll take over completely and you'll wind up wearing a sickly-yellow dress with lots of ruffles and bows."

"Me? I already told you, I'm not..."

"Yes you are. You know you're going to do it. We'll just tell everyone I begged until you agreed to be part of it so I'd shut up. That way, you'll have your pride and I'll have my third bridesmaid to go with Lydia and Ginger."

"I don't know why I let you talk me into these things," Charlie grumbled. "But I'm telling you now----no sickly colors, no bows, and absolutely nothing form-fitting. It might look okay on Lydia, but speaking for myself as a 'larger woman,' it's not the thing for me."

"You got it."

"We're going to wind up with the wedding from hell," Darcy said when Elisabeth told him about her mother's phone call. "I don't know why you promised Charlie anything with your mother calling the shots."

"My mother is not going to take over this wedding. We can handle it, I think, if we just...set limits with her. If I tell her that her duties are going to be limited to booking the reception hall, getting the preacher to agree to marry us, and showing up in a suitable mother-of-the-bride gown, surely..."

"You're kidding yourself." Darcy groaned. "Let's elope."

"Sounds good to me, but we can't do it and you know it. We've already told your family the wedding date and they're looking forward to being there. Speaking of family, my mother wants to know how many people are going to be on your guest list."

"Why?"

"She wants an idea of how much room we're going to need for the reception, provided that there will be a reception since she hasn't had much luck finding a place for us so far." Elisabeth sighed. "I told her we'd talk about it and let her know."

"Ah." Darcy went to his desk and found a notebook and pen. He started writing down names. "I have a feeling that compared to your guest list, mine will be miniscule. I didn't have friends among my old co-workers at De Bourgh Enterprises, and half of my family will refuse to come even if I bothered sending them an invitation."

"Have you given any thought as to your groomsmen?" Elisabeth asked.

Darcy nodded. "I've already asked D.J. to be my best man, and I thought Jack and Chazz would like to be groomsmen. Are you sure you have to have Lydia?"

"Why does everyone assume that I wouldn't include Lydia in my wedding party? She is my sister. Now, if I'd made her the maid of honor, I could understand everyone's surprise. But she's a bridesmaid, just like your sister and Charlie."

"I'm sorry," Darcy said. "I didn't realize it was such a bad subject."

"You have other male cousins to choose from, you know. How about the one who came to visit you a few weeks ago?"

"Who?"

"You know, the sports columnist or whatever it is he does. The guy Caroline poured a glass of ice water on."

"Oh, James Hampton. Yeah, maybe. That's an idea."

"I'd say it's a great idea if you're coming up short on wedding party members. Besides, you weren't exactly telling the truth when you said the Darcy family would completely ignore any wedding invitation you sent them. James's mother is a Darcy, but I'm sure they'd show up if you sent them an invitation."

"All right, then. I'll ask him if he'd like to be a member of the party, but I doubt he will. We only met a couple of times before he showed up at the store a while back. He may not be interested."

"He was interested enough to seek you out, wasn't he?" Elisabeth said. "Of course, that may have been the curiosity factor at work there and nothing more. Still, anyone who gets Caroline Benson mad enough to throw water has got to be a good guy."

Darcy chuckled at Elisabeth's description of a good person. "At least we have the wedding party assembled," he said as he finished the list of people he would want to invite. He handed it to Elisabeth, who noted that the only names outside of his family who appeared were some of the people they knew at work. Kit Longbourn, Erin Jennings, Topher Brandon and his girlfriend, and Sean and Rachel. "Tasha, too, I presume?"

"Oh, did I forget Tasha? Make sure she gets her own invitation, okay?"

"Sure." Elisabeth sighed. His wasn't a very big list, which wasn't such a bad thing. But when she got to thinking about how large hers was going to be, once her mother got to insisting that every single person who was the slightest bit related to her was invited, she had a feeling they were in for a lot of trouble. "Anyone else?"

Darcy shook his head. "How about you?"

"Other than more family, I don't..." Elisabeth reflected for a moment. "I had friends in high school, but we drifted apart. Most of them went to college or moved away. I can't say I blame them, but..." She frowned. "How pathetic is this? Outside of work, I don't have any friends. And my two best friends happen to be my older sister and my cousin."

"I don't see anything wrong with that," Darcy said calmly. "Before I came to work at Planet Earth Pizza, it would be fair to say I had no friends at all. All of my friends are people at work. Speaking of work, do you suppose there's any way we can get away with inviting everyone but the Gossip Sisters, Bubba, and J.P.?"

"No. And you know as well as I do that they'll all show up. Look at it this way. You'll finally get to meet the infamous Drew Hurst."

"I'm sure it'll be the highlight of my day," Darcy said sarcastically. "Go ahead and include them on my list. They can be the negotiating point for when we have to winnow the list down to fit into the closet where our reception will be taking place."

"Way to think positively," Elisabeth muttered as she wrote down their names.

"I was just trying to channel your mother for a moment."

Elisabeth grinned. "Stop, you're scaring me now." She heard Grace start to fuss in the nursery, where she'd been sleeping. At the same time, the phone rang. "Uh-oh. The boss is calling." She walked into the baby's room and took her out of the cradle. Elisabeth had barely taken two steps to return to the living room when Darcy took Grace from her.

"Darcy, I think it's just time for a diaper change. I can get it."

"That's all right, El. Your mother wants to talk to you. She says she's got good news." Darcy set Grace on the changing table that took up considerable space in the room as Elisabeth groaned.

"I'd rather change the diaper," she grumbled, but instead she answered the phone. "Hi, Ma."

"Elisabeth! You won't believe the news I just got!"

"Probably not."

"I called the K.C. Hall again, and it turns out that they've had a cancellation! Apparently, the couple who was having their reception that day broke up, so we're getting the space! I thought surely they'd have a waiting list or something like that, but they didn't!"

Elisabeth felt a strong sense of relief. In spite of what she'd told her mother, she had been a little nervous that they'd be reduced to begging the pastor to let them have the reception in the basement, which was dank and depressing. Besides, Elisabeth had a feeling it would be slightly uncomfortable to request any music other than gospel or syrupy love ballads.

"How much space?" she asked, and listened as her mother gave her the details. When Ruth had finished, Elisabeth said, "That sounds fine. Uh, Ma, how many people were you planning to invite to the wedding?"

Ruth paused. "Well, dear, it's your wedding, of course."

Elisabeth was almost fooled by that statement. She knew better, though. "I thought maybe just close friends and family would be enough. Darcy doesn't have that many relatives, you know, and so it would look bad to have one side of the church packed full and the other practically empty."

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that. How many people is he planning to invite?"

"Maybe..." Elisabeth did a quick calculation in her head. "Forty."

"Oh, Elisabeth, for heaven's sake, you've got more than forty relatives just on the Bennet side of the family. That doesn't include the Hansons at all!"

"We're talking close family and friends." Which would, by definition, exclude just about every member of the Hanson tribe. Her mother had been the youngest of three, but none of the siblings had been close. On the rare occasions that Elisabeth had visited her maternal grandparents, they always seemed somewhat standoffish and reserved. As for her cousins, Elisabeth barely knew them, except that she'd always gotten the impression that they were as reserved and standoffish as her grandparents.

"Elisabeth, you cannot leave my mother off the guest list."

"Why? You almost left her off of yours, according to Daddy."

"Your father was prone to saying a lot of things he shouldn't have," Ruth muttered. "Whether you like it or not, they're family and they deserve to at least know you're getting married. Just because they likely won't attend the wedding is no reason not to hope they'll send you a gift."

"So I should send them an invitation but not be surprised if they don't show," Elisabeth concluded.

"Exactly."

"All right, I'll invite them. You'll have to send me their addresses so I'll know where to send the invitations. As for the Bennets..." Elisabeth was trying to figure out a way to tell her mother she wasn't wanting to invite her Aunt Grace or anyone else from that branch of the family.

"Forget it. You're inviting them all, Elisabeth. I'll make a list. Give me Darcy's, along with any other friends you might wish to invite, and we'll see what we can do. Now, as for who's going to perform the ceremony..."

"Hang on a second, there's one more person we need to discuss."

"Who?"

"George Wickham. I don't care how much Lydia whines and complains, there is no way in hell I'm going to have him as a guest at my wedding. If he's on your list, take him off right now."

"Elisabeth, he's her boyfriend. How will it look if she's a bridesmaid and he's not there to..."

"I don't give a damn how it looks. He's not coming to the wedding or the reception. Understood?"

Ruth huffed. "I'll try to explain it to Lydia, but I don't think she'll be happy. And I don't see why..."

"Don't even finish the sentence," Elisabeth said wearily. "I've got good reasons why I don't want him at the wedding. How would you have felt if Daddy had invited some ex-girlfriend to your wedding?"

"Oh, I hadn't thought of it like that."

"I thought not. What were you saying about someone performing the ceremony?"

"I've set up an appointment for you and Darcy to talk to a Pastor Criswell on January 10. He's agreed to marry you, provided that he gets to meet you and everything works out fine."

"What does that mean?" Elisabeth demanded.

"Well, you don't expect the man to marry you two sight unseen, do you? He'll probably ask you a few questions about what you expect out of marriage, and whether or not you feel like you're ready to make a lifelong commitment."

"Who is Pastor Criswell, and why does he get to pronounce judgment on whether or not I can get married?"

"Pastor Abernathy was unavailable for the day you chose. Pastor Criswell was the pastor at the church where your grandmother went until she died. He was the pastor at her funeral. Don't you remember?"

Elisabeth murmured, "Yes," with only vague memories of the man. But if he'd been good enough for Granny Bess... "All right, we'll meet...oh, no, wait a minute. You said January tenth? What time?"

"One-thirty."

"Um...I don't know if we'll be able to make it. See, January tenth is Darcy's birthday, and we were kind of hoping to do something together."

"You can do something together. You can see the minister and then go do something."

"Trying to impress him wasn't exactly what I had in mind for Darcy's birthday," Elisabeth said as Darcy walked back into the room without Grace. She covered the mouthpiece of the phone and asked, "Did she go back to sleep?"

"She's pretending to sleep. Is that the same thing?"

"Ma's set up an appointment for us to talk to the pastor who might marry us, provided we pass his test of maturity or whatever it is he's set up. It's on your birthday."

"Okay. I don't see a problem with that. Do you?"

Elisabeth shook her head. "I guess not." She turned her attention back to the phone. "Okay, Ma, one-thirty on the tenth it is."

"Good! Now, did you get a chance to look through those magazines? Did you find anything you liked?"

"I found lots of things I liked. What I didn't find was a single dress that would look good on me. I think it's going to come down to hunting in bridal stores for a dress that'll fit that I halfway like."

"Don't be so negative, Elisabeth. I'm sure you'll find a dress. If all else fails, you can have that plain old wedding dress of your grandmother's."

Elisabeth frowned. "What plain old dress? Which grandmother?"

"Granny Bess, of course. Your Grandmother Hanson's dress went to my sister Sarah, who looked like she was about to split the seams in the poor gown the whole time. I would've looked ten times better in that dress, but Sarah got to use it first and after that, I didn't want it."

"I thought Aunt Grace had Granny Bess's wedding gown," Elisabeth said.

"She does, but it was too big for her and of course it would've been far too large for Bethany..."

"Of course it was too large for Bethany," Elisabeth said. "Well, tell her to send it. With my luck, it won't even fit me and I'll still have to go dress shopping, but it's an option." Elisabeth had a feeling that she wasn't going to like the dress at all. It was probably moth-ridden and old-fashioned. Or worse yet----it might have a hoopskirt!

Elisabeth was only able to end the conversation because Grace started crying again, reminding her that it was feeding time.

Chapter Sixty

There were certain times of the year which were hell to work at Planet Earth Pizza. Memorial Day weekend was among the worst, especially given the Effingham store's prime location on Interstate 70 between St. Louis and Indianapolis, where the big race was held. Labor Day was never a fun weekend, since everyone was out trying to find something to do other than be forced to watch the Jerry Lewis telethon. Independence Day wasn't so bad to work after 9 pm when the fireworks display started, but before that it was torture.

None of these, however, was as bad as New Year's Eve. More specifically, the evening of New Year's Eve. Employees fought not to have to work that night, and not just because they wanted to go out and party themselves. The reason everyone hated the holiday with a passion was because they stayed open until 11 pm for the extra business instead of the usual ten o'clock, and because it seemed like the entire population of the state of Illinois came in to have supper.

Darcy was one of the unfortunates who had to work that night. Although Charlie had been scheduled to work during the day and have the night off, the fact that Jack was working that night combined with fifty bucks from Caroline convinced her to close. Although Sean would've liked to have had the night off, he wasn't foolish enough to entrust New Year's Eve business to Bubba. Since Elisabeth was still on maternity leave, it meant he was stuck having to close as well. Chazz got stuck working even though he'd put in for the night off. He'd been the last one to do it, which meant he hadn't gotten it like he'd hoped. Being Chazz, however, he managed to make the best of it.

Darcy knew that it was going to be bad, but he reasoned that he'd been through worse. The night Charlie had had her gallstone attack back in August, for instance----that night had been terrible. Working any night with Mary Crawford had been a nightmare. And he was convinced that it really couldn't get worse than those awful ten-to-eight shifts he got stuck working when he first started at Planet Earth Pizza. But still, hearing the grumbles and groans from his co-workers, he did prepare for it being a bad night.

He clocked in at four-thirty and walked to the front counter. He was surprised to find that things didn't look terribly busy. In fact, given what "terribly busy" usually looked like, he would categorize business as being dead at the moment.

"It won't last," Charlie said. She was on the other side of the front counter, not yet in uniform.

"Hmm?"

"This." She pointed in the general direction of the dining room. "It won't last. Just wait until about five-thirty, when everyone who had to work today gets off. They start here for dinner and a couple of beers before heading to the bars. The real fun begins when you get people who started with the bars."

"You're trying to scare me, aren't you? It's really not as bad as you're saying, you just want me to think it is so whatever happens, I won't think it's so bad."

"I wish I were." Charlie smiled. "The last time I worked New Year's Eve was before Sean became the store manager. It was a total nightmare. The day shift, which our store manager worked so he could go out partying himself, didn't do nearly enough dough to get us through the night. When we called him to ask him to come back, he was already drunk and useless. It was soon after that, in fact, that Sean took over here. Thank God for that."

"Then it could be said that with Sean at the helm, tonight should go better than the last time you worked this holiday," Darcy said.

"True, but we still have to deal with business. Did you ever see the movie Clerks? My favorite movie line of all time comes from that movie: 'This job would be great if it wasn't for the customers.'" When Darcy chuckled, Charlie said, "Actually, I'm leaving out a word, but it's not a nice one."

"Truer words were never spoken."

"Hey, at least you're getting to leave this place. Here less than a year and moving on to owning your own business...pretty impressive, Darcy."

"Pretty scary, too," he admitted.

"Yeah, I can see that." Charlie smiled. "I'm sure you'll do fine, Darcy. All that education you got has to be good for something."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Darcy entered his password into one of the computers, which logged him onto the touch-screen system. "Why are you here so early? I thought you weren't coming in until six."

"Five-thirty, actually, but I had nothing better to do. Isn't that pathetic? So I'm sitting over at 51, reading until it's time for me to clock in or until things get busy, whichever comes first."

"I should be able to handle it fine," Darcy said. "Isn't Kit supposed to be here, too?"

Charlie nodded. "Five o'clock. But I just wanted to be sure."

"I appreciate that." Darcy looked around at the store for a moment. "You know, I think I'm actually going to miss this place."

"You're kidding."

Darcy shook his head. "No, I really think I am. I won't miss most of the customers, except my regulars, but...I will miss this place."

"I can't imagine why. The minute I clock out for the last time, I'm throwing the party of the year. The entire town of Effingham will be invited, except for the people I've waited on over the years."

"Wait a minute. Wouldn't that include just about everyone in town by this point?"

"Exactly." Charlie walked back over to her table and sat down. Darcy noticed that she was reading a different book yet again, this time something about philosophy and... Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

He wasn't about to ask.

Just as Charlie had predicted, people started coming in around five-thirty. At first, the tables were of smaller groups----usually three or four people. But within the hour, the groups started getting bigger, and more people were lining up at the door. The system Charlie, Darcy, and Kit had been using of taking tables in turns had gone out the window by the time the dining room was full. If a table had people looking at menus, it was fair game to whomever got to it first.

Complicating things was the large number of carry-out and delivery orders coming in. The kitchen had its' hands full keeping up, and as the customers in the dining room started having to wait longer not only to be seated but also to get their meals, tempers grew shorter. Throw in the beers that at least one-third of the customers were consuming, and Darcy started to see why Charlie had warned him to expect the worst.

"These people never heard of Domino's or Papa John's?" Darcy grumbled as he carried dirty dishes to the back, where Bubba was stuck washing dishes.

"Would you rather the money go into their pockets rather than yours?" Bubba asked irritably, because he'd been hoping to have the rest of the night off only to have his hopes crushed by Sean's pronouncement that they would need a dishwasher.

Darcy didn't bother answering, choosing not to get himself in trouble. He returned to the front of the store and walked over to a table of eight in the middle of the room. "Hi," he said, forcing a cheerful note into his voice. "How are you guys doing tonight?"

"We're good," the middle-aged man at the head of the table said. "How are you?"

"Quietly going crazy," Darcy replied, to howling laughter from his customers. "Are you guys ready to order?"

The man who appeared to be in charge gave Darcy the order, which Darcy made sure to read back to him. Once he was sure he had everything, he headed back to the kitchen area. He was stopped halfway there by a lady with three young children who were obviously driving her crazy because she asked for her check. She was too late to stop them from driving everyone else crazy.

"I'll be right back," Darcy assured her, managing to step away before her youngest child could stomp on his foot for the third time. He rushed to the wait area and claimed a free computer the second J.P. was off it. He hurriedly placed the order for his table, then grabbed the ticket and added it to the growing stack nearby.

"I can't believe I let Caroline talk me into this," Charlie muttered as she pecked at the order screen, placing the order for an obnoxious table of ten in the back. "I must be crazy."

"I'd say we're both crazy," Darcy added as he leafed through his tickets to find the one he needed. "And if that kid at fifty-two steps on my foot one more time, I'm...well, I don't know what I'm going to do, but it's going to be drastic."

"Just think, that's going to be Grace in a few years," he heard Elisabeth say, causing him to look up suddenly. She was with Jenna. The car seat with Grace inside was hooked over one arm.

"If I ever catch Grace doing that to someone, she's going to be grounded until she's thirty," Darcy said. "What are you guys doing here?"

"They came here to gloat because they didn't have to work tonight," Charlie said, swiping her finished ticket from the printer and adding it to the others she had.

"You'd better believe it," Elisabeth replied. "For the first time since I went on maternity leave, I'm glad I'm not working right now. I know Sean would've had me here if I could."

"You got that right!" Sean shouted. "Don't you have anywhere else to go? Bar hopping or road tripping or something like that?"

"If I was sixteen and stupid, that's exactly what I'd do," Elisabeth retorted. "However, bar hopping isn't easy to do with an eleven-day-old baby in tow, and road tripping is out of the question in weather like this. I was bored senseless at home, so Jenna offered to treat me to supper."

"Then why come here?" Darcy repeated his question. "Of all places, why come to where you work?"

"Because she misses us and wants to help out!" Jack yelled from the cut table. "Don't you, El?"

"You're such a comedian!" she called back. She smiled sweetly at Darcy. "We'd like a table for two and a baby, please."

"Sure. If you find an empty table, let me know," he told her. "I'll have it cleared off for you immediately by one of my minions."

"Excuse me? You'll be clearing off your own damn table because I have a pack of hyenas disguised as teenagers sitting at table fifty-five," Charlie hissed as she walked back into the dining room to get drinks for her table. When she came back, an annoyed look on her face, she continued. "Fifty bucks says they don't tip. Between the ten of them, all they ordered were two extra-large pizzas and a large order of breadsticks. And water."

Darcy glanced at who she was waiting on and nodded. "I remember a few of them. You remember back when I first started, I had that table who claimed only a couple of them had eaten from the buffet when they all had?"

"Yeah. They're the ones you called brats," Elisabeth said, although Charlie drew a blank.

"Well, they're back, and they've brought some friends with them."

"Look at it this way. Since we don't have a buffet tonight, they'll actually pay for everything they're eating." Charlie only gave her cousin a look to that statement before returning to the dining room. Elisabeth looked at Jenna. "We should've gone somewhere else. I can feel Charlie's resentment from here."

"You were the one who said, 'I can't believe this, but I'm craving pizza,'" Jenna replied. "And of course, you would've felt like a traitor going somewhere else."

"Of course." Elisabeth glanced around at the rest of the dining room. People were sitting everywhere, and those that weren't seated were standing at the door. There was a line at the register as people waited for carry-out orders. The volume on the jukebox fluctuated depending on who was complaining louder at the moment----those who couldn't hear their music and wanted it turned up or those who were complaining it was too loud and demanded it be turned down. Charlie dodged through the melee with the ease of a pro to deliver a large order of breadsticks to a table near the back of the dining room.

When she stopped at the table of teenagers, Elisabeth sighed. She knew what they were asking----when their food would arrive. Never mind that they had just placed their order. They saw a table just get something and they wanted their stuff, too. She was no lip reader, but from the view she was getting of Charlie's face, it was clear she was biting her tongue to avoid saying something that would get herself in trouble.

Uh-oh, Elisabeth thought as Charlie walked away from the table, face starting to get red, fury clearly written in her eyes.

"I need a rush on a large order of breadsticks!" she shouted when she reached the kitchen.

"For what table?" Jack asked.

"Fifty-five."

Elisabeth scooted over to the kitchen side of the front counter so she could see what was going on. Jack pointed at the stack of orders that had been made. Charlie flipped through them and groaned. "You're not to them yet," she said.

"Then they'll have to wait their turn like every other table in this place," Jack replied. "They're no different from the rest of them. Besides, if you give them sticks ahead of other tables, you'll only stir up trouble."

"I know, I know," she said. Her voice lowered. "I just said that and I'm doing this because they demanded I do it."

Jack frowned and glanced over at the offending table. He went back to his work and cursed under his breath. Charlie murmured her agreement before returning to the wait area, where she grabbed a couple of take-home boxes. "Get back over there," she said to Elisabeth when she saw where she'd been standing. "Just because you work here doesn't mean we're going to seat you ahead of everyone else."

"You mean I work here, I sleep with one of the waiters, and I still can't get seated when I want to?" Elisabeth joked. She was rewarded by Charlie's smile as she walked away from her.

By eight o'clock, Bubba had had enough.

"Dammit, Sean, I've been here since ten this morning. My friends are out there waiting for me to join them, we're gonna have a blast, and you've got me stuck here doing dishes!" Bubba snapped as Darcy brought an armful of plates back to the dishwasher.

"If I had anyone else, you could go. But I don't have anyone else, and I can't afford for you to take off. For that matter, I can't afford to be standing here now, having this discussion!" Sean returned to the kitchen, narrowly missing bumping into Darcy.

Bubba followed Sean into the kitchen. "This isn't fair," he said. "Everyone else in this store got the night off when they asked for it. You told me I'd be out of here by now."

"I didn't get the night off even though I asked for it!" Chazz said as he grabbed a stack of pizzas destined for a delivery. "And believe me, I'd rather be out doing something fun with Jenna than stuck here. But here I am, working, and not complaining too much about it."

"What? Every time you walk by me, the only thing I hear you saying is that you weren't even supposed to be here," Kit said, causing Charlie to snicker as she hurriedly rolled silverware to take to a table.

"Good one, Chazz," she told him as he went by, pointedly ignoring Kit.

"I never said you would definitely be out of here by now. I said I would try. Take a look around you, Bubba! Do you think there's any way I can let you go? If you leave, I have no one to do dishes, which forces wait staff to do them..."

"It's not that freaking hard! And it doesn't take that long! And they're not stupid, they know how the dishwasher works!" Bubba's voice had gotten loud enough that under normal circumstances, it might've been heard by everyone in the store. The combined noise of the jukebox, other customers, and the fact that his back was turned to the dining room, however, saved him from the embarrassment, not that he cared.

Sean said nothing to this outburst. He just gave Bubba the look. Darcy, who was sticking a spatula into the pizza he was about to take out, caught the look and shuddered, even though it wasn't meant for him. He hurried into the dining room, dropping the pizza off at table eleven, then walking across the dining room to where Jenna and Elisabeth were sitting. Elisabeth was trying to get Grace to stop whimpering, and Darcy could understand why. Grace had been known to irritating an entire apartment full of people when she got to full-fledged crying.

Then again, maybe she'd irritate everyone here enough to make them leave, which wouldn't be a bad thing.

"Bubba's looking to get fired, I think," he said. "How is everything going for you, ladies?"

"We're wonderful, except for the rugrat, and what's Bubba's problem?" Elisabeth asked. She looked down at Grace. "Come on, sweetie, don't start crying. I've fed you, I've burped you, I've changed you and felt your forehead and you're not sick. We're as far away from the smoking section as we can get. I'm holding you and ignoring my dinner, which has gotten cold. What's the matter?"

"Please don't tell me you expect her to answer you," Jenna said.

"Of course I don't expect her to answer me."

"Bubba wants to leave," Darcy said. "And actually, given what Sean told me he expected Bubba to do while he was here, I'm all for letting him go because he's done none of it."

"What was he supposed to be doing, besides dishes?"

"He was supposed to be out here, helping us clear off tables and run pizzas. Half the time he's in the back, not doing anything but grousing about not having the night off and smoking cigarettes. In the meantime, we could really use him out here...as you can see."

Eight o'clock had seen little change in business. There were fewer people waiting at the door, but that was about it. Before Elisabeth could ask Darcy for more details, he walked away to check on another table.

Elisabeth sat for another minute, holding Grace, who had fallen silent but was still wide awake. She glanced around the dining room, looking at Kit, Charlie, and Darcy. Kit seemed to be holding up the best, but every once in a while she saw the older woman wince slightly and Elisabeth knew she had to be in pain. Charlie was still managing to smile valiantly when she was with a table, but the minute she thought no one could see her, her smile faded and she wore a frustrated look that Elisabeth knew all too well. And Darcy was just flat out exhausted. He'd no doubt been at the bookstore again today, or running around town making plans, and was too tired to go on much longer without more help than he was getting.

"Give her here," Jenna said.

Elisabeth frowned. "What?"

"You heard me. Give me Grace and go help out. You know you want to do it."

"No, I don't. Besides, she's calming down now and if I give her to you, she'll just start fussing again."

"Elisabeth! Give me the baby and go help them," Jenna commanded.

Elisabeth looked down at Grace and sighed. "All right, all right. Geez, you don't have to be so pushy." Jenna stood up and walked around the table to take Grace, who barely made a sound as she went from her mother to her aunt. Elisabeth muttered, "Traitor."

She went to the back and asked Sean, "Do you have any extra shirts lying around that I could borrow?"

Sean looked like he was about to ask a question when he stopped. He said instead, "Yeah, in the bottom left cabinet that holds up the desk. Grab one and tell Bubba to get the hell out of here before I kick him out."

"Will do." Elisabeth walked through the kitchen, wondering if it was a good or a bad thing that she was feeling glad to be in familiar surroundings.

"We're closed!" Sean yelled as he slammed the door shut behind the last of the straggling customers. It was ten minutes until midnight.

Charlie paused from clearing the table they'd been sitting at to clap loudly. "Thank God," she said before returning to her work. Elisabeth smiled as she got started clearing away the salad bar but said nothing.

Sean walked over to her. "You really didn't have to help out tonight, El," he said. "Especially since I can't pay you for any of it."

"I told you, don't worry about it. I had fun."

"Oh, yeah. New Year's Eve at Planet Earth Pizza is always at the top of my list of fun things to do," Charlie muttered. "It ranks right up there with root canals and evaluation days."

"I'd rather grade term papers," Jack added.

"I'd rather write one," Chazz said. "Or two, even. Anything but this."

"I get the idea," Elisabeth told them.

"Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?" Sean asked.

"I don't suppose we've got any more Zesty Pizza dough left, do we?" Elisabeth walked over to the table where Jenna was sitting with Grace. She took a peek at the baby, who was sleeping quietly in her car seat.

"Not a bit. Want me to write you an IOU for one?"

Elisabeth shook her head. "It's okay."

"I'm serious. You saved our butts tonight, helping out after Bubba decided he just had to take off. There's got to be something I can do for you."

"Just make sure to put in a good word for me so I can get a store of my own when Catherine finally sells us. That's all I ask."

"I would've done that anyway. Anything else? Beer? I'll spring for one if you want."

Elisabeth thought for a moment. "No, thanks. I'm fine, really, Sean. You don't have to get anything or do anything. It was good for me to do a little work after sitting around doing nothing for the past month. You have no idea of how fast that gets boring."

Sean must've realized she was serious, because he didn't press the issue. Instead, he told everyone to take a break until after midnight. Relieved, everyone clustered around Elisabeth and Jenna's table. Sean broke a major rule to offer everyone else a beer, although only Jack and Chazz took him up on his offer. Elisabeth stuck to water, Jenna to her Diet Pepsi, and Charlie to her Mountain Dew.

"It's almost midnight," Charlie said with a sigh as she collapsed into a chair. "I can't believe I'm spending yet another New Year's in this God-awful place. Didn't I vow that I was quitting by the end of the year regardless of whether or not I was offered a full-time job?"

"Yeah," Jack replied, moving his chair next to hers and putting an arm around her shoulders. She leaned against him.

"Uh-oh," Elisabeth said teasingly. "Here we go again."

Charlie flipped her the middle finger. "Very funny."

"What's going on?" Darcy asked as he took a seat next to Elisabeth at the table. He set his soda next to her water.

"Charlie does this every year. It doesn't matter where she is, she always starts in with this 'why the hell am I still here' soliloquy," Jack answered him. "And every year, the answer is the same----because she doesn't have the money to live on her own."

"No. Last year, the answer was 'I have to pay for these stupid light treatments somehow, dammit.' Get it straight if you're going to tell him our traditions." Charlie gave Jack a dirty look, though he didn't see it. "And I thought that maybe I'd just make the observation that I'm still here, accept this as fact, and try to focus on something positive."

"Positive? We could use some positive energy in here, especially after that mess we had tonight," Sean commented as he took a drink of his beer. "Okay, Charlie. Let's hear something positive."

"Well, the first positive I can think of is that we made it through tonight without one mistake being made," Charlie said. "Now, if that's not a positive, I don't know what is."

"Amen, sister," Chazz said with a laugh.

"But only because of you, El," Jack said. "You were great tonight."

"Aah, you guys would've made it. It can't be any worse than that day when Charlie and I were working with that real jerk of a shift leader...Joey, I think it was...and we got swamped. Joey kept messing up orders and the dining room had a line out the door, not to mention that we couldn't get anyone to come in because it was a Sunday," Jenna said.

"That was the first time I nearly walked out," Charlie admitted with a smile. "The other time was with that twinkie, Mary what's-her-name. So I guess saying that tonight was bad, but not as bad as that day, is something positive."

"I feel like I'm a psychiatrist's office," Sean said.

"You are. Haven't you figured out yet that Charlie's practicing on all of us?" Darcy ducked out of the way of the balled-up napkin Charlie hurled at him.

"Next thing you know, she'll be telling us her New Year's resolutions," Elisabeth said.

"No, because you all know what my top two resolutions are already. Number one, lose weight. Number two, quit this place once and for all. I used to have a number three, but I finally took care of that this year."

"What was that?" Darcy asked innocently.

"To get a boyfriend," Charlie replied over everyone else's answer of, "To get laid."

"Excuse me! It wasn't just about having sex," she said. "I didn't want a boyfriend just for that. I wanted a guy who would love me and who I could love in return."

"Which is what she got." Jack leaned over to kiss her. When they parted, he added, "Getting laid was one of the perks."

"Jerk. No wonder everyone here thought I was some sex-starved nympho, with you guys telling them my New Year's resolutions included losing my virginity."

"How could you be a virgin and a nymphomaniac at the same time?" Darcy asked, confused.

"It's the power of the Gossip Sisters, Darcy. It cannot be explained, it cannot be harnessed. It just is. Sean, why don't you fire them and get it over with?" Jenna asked.

"Are you willing to come back to work in their place?" Sean retorted.

"Hell, no."

"Well, who is he going to get to close nights?" Elisabeth asked. "Who's going to be the night cook? Darcy's quitting. Charlie's probably not too far behind. Chazz will get his degree and head out the door, leaving me with...oh, God. You're right. Sean, you have to get rid of them now and replace them with someone I like who'll know what they're doing when the others leave."

"Forget it, El." Sean took another drink, and everyone grew silent.

Charlie finally said, "Okay, someone else has got to say something positive now. I'm not going to be the only one who says anything."

"C'mon, Charlie, it's hokey," Chazz complained. "It's like...like at the end of a bad movie, where everyone sits around and says, 'Here's to new beginnings' and crap like that."

"I like those movies. And since you got a new copy of American Pie in the gift exchange after wearing out your third copy, I'd say you like some of them, too."

"Hey, there are certain parts of that movie that I like. They aren't necessarily centered around the end of it."

Jenna frowned. "I know what you're referring to and I'm confiscating that tape as soon as we get home."

"Uh-oh. You'd better hide your National Geographic collection or she'll be after that next," Jack quipped.

Jenna's mouth dropped open. "What collection?" she demanded.

Chazz cursed and gave his former roommate the bird. "Nothing. Jack's just making a joke. Weren't you, Jack?"

Jack nodded with false sincerity. "Of course I was. I meant to say Playboy."

"Guys, come on," Elisabeth said, hoping to forestall any further revelations about Chazz's reading material. "Charlie's trying to start a new tradition here at Planet Earth Pizza. Lord knows we have a lot of bad ones, but this one might be good."

"I do not have..." Chazz started to mutter.

"You do, and we all know about it because we helped Jenna move into your townhouse," Elisabeth said. "Darcy hid them so she wouldn't know about it."

"I thought I was missing a few issues."

"All right, enough!" Sean said authoritatively. "It was a nice try to change tradition, Charlie, but you might as well give up. Around here, some things never change."

"Well, I'm still not going to complain much about why I'm still here. I'm accepting and moving on."

Sean checked his watch. "One minute to go. Any last thoughts before we say goodbye to the old year?"

"I hope to be rich and successful in the new one," Darcy said. "And happily married."

"Well, that last one is guaranteed," Elisabeth told him.

"I'm glad this year's over," Charlie said. "It's been long."

"And difficult," Jack agreed.

"Would you have it any other way, though?" Jenna asked. "I mean, look at what's happened to you. Look what's happened to all of us. We're here. We're together. We're relatively happy. Shouldn't that indicate that we all had a good year, even if it was difficult?"

Silence greeted her, and then...

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six----I agree with you, Jenna, it's been a good year---three, two, one...Happy New Year, guys." Sean smiled at everyone, raised his beer bottle, and saluted them. The others followed suit.

"I really am going to miss this place," Darcy said quietly before giving Elisabeth a kiss. "And I know why. It's because I've spent some of the best moments of my life here. I'm happier working here than I ever was in New York. And if that's not something positive, and something to be glad about, I don't know what is."

"Agreed," she said, kissing him again. "Happy New Year, darling."

End of Part Three