Beginning , Section II

Jump to new as of August 27, 2004

Chapter Five

Posted on Wednesday, 11 August 2004

Sunday morning dawned with no sign of the rain that had caused so many problems the day before. Elizabeth crawled out of bed and was glad to see the shafts of sunlight shining through the slight gap between her bedroom curtains; and whilst brushing her teeth she impulsively ran from her en-suite to throw them open.

Still perfunctorily moving her toothbrush she looked out across the expanse of lawn underneath her window. After hours of lying awake tossing and turning last night, kept from settling by the turn of her thoughts she had finally reached a decision – to do exactly what Charlotte had suggested; to stop trying to predict the future, and to live for the present – in short, to stop thinking. She would follow William’s lead – that was all.

I mean, it’s not as though I have soon kind of vested emotional interest in all of this – I’ve only known the man for just over a day!

Elizabeth returned to the bathroom and finished brushing her teeth. As she rinsed out her mouth, she looked up and chanced to see her reflection – and something else as well.

“Where the hell did that come from?” she cried aloud. Leaning closer to the mirror, she tried an almost comic sequence of smiles and frowns. It was confirmed - she had a new laughter line.

“You’ve got to stop being so happy. I mean do you have to smile at all those strangers?” she muttered to her reflection.

Some rebel synapses conjured up the questioning thought – would William notice?

Elizabeth sighed, laughed aloud at herself, and recalled something Charlotte had said last night as they spoke about her contact with the elusive Mr. Fitzwilliam, and if thus far anything positive, i.e. indicating their mutual attraction, could be construed.

Do you ever feel like you’re too old to be playing these games?

The idea resonated around her head. Right now, Elizabeth felt as old as she ever had, and a part of her couldn’t help thinking – didn’t you think it’d all be over by now? That you’d have a husband and the perfect house, maybe even kids? Honestly, the old idealistic Elizabeth had. The old Elizabeth had a life plan. Career embarked upon at 24 – check; first child on the way by thirty? Outcome pending, it seemed.

She attempted to look at her reflection menacingly and growled. “If you even attempt to mention your biological clock, I’ll hit you Bennet!” Elizabeth smiled at her own stupidity and then was forced to laugh.

“Damnit!” she exclaimed, as her hand jumped to her face to inspect the damage.

She shook her head despairingly and walked over to her overnight bag as she deliberated which outfit she’d look best in that day. Picked out a summer dress, flip-flops and a beaded necklace, she smiled to herself once more.

Hmmm, may the games begin!

William was already having breakfast with Jane and Charles at the table in the kitchen when Elizabeth came down. He’d been having some problems with his appearances of his own after he had been for his morning run and showered. He simply couldn’t for the life of him get his hair to hang right; unruly curls persisted in falling down on to his forehead. He had fiddled with them for almost fifteen minutes before he’d been forced to laugh at himself and his uncharacteristic behaviour. ‘It’s Elizabeth,’ he had thought. ‘No one else has ever made me feel so – insecure before.’ Having given up, he’d eventually left his bedroom with the quiet confidence that no one had ever found him deficient in anyway before; and especially not physically.

“Good morning all!” Elizabeth greeted them cheerfully, with a bright smile.

Charles grinned broadly, and Jane gestured for her to take a seat. William, Elizabeth was pleased to note, nodded in reply and gave her a warm smile. After taking the proffered seat, the conversation around the table that had been interrupted by Elizabeth’s arrival resumed, and as Lizzy listened she helped herself to some tea from the pot.

“So, what are your plans for today then?” Charles asked William jovially.

“I’m not sure. I might, perhaps, take a walk, become accustomed to the area. I couldn’t yesterday, for obvious reasons,” the corner of his mouth turned up briefly as the memory of Elizabeth, wet from the downpour intruded, “and I don’t fancy being cooped up all of today as well.”

“There are some nice paths through the woods,” Jane offered helpfully. “I told you about them on Friday didn’t I, Lizzy? You got a chance to explore them didn’t you?”

“Briefly, yes,” Elizabeth said, sheepishly. “From what I saw of them, before my vision was – impaired, shall we say? – by the torrential downpour, they seemed very pleasant.”

“That sounds like as good a place as any to begin. Can I persuade anyone to join me?” William’s invitation was meant generally, but it was said as he looked specifically at Elizabeth. Jane and Charles saw it, and immediately understanding the underlying meaning behind it, shared a glance of their own; and cried off, using the necessity to prepare for Sunday dinner with the Bennet family as their excuse.

“What?!” Elizabeth blanched as she heard this. “The entire family is coming here for dinner?”

Jane smiled guiltily. “I had sort of hoped to spring it on you at the last minute, remove the ‘dread – phase,’ but the damage is done now. It’s sort of become a tradition – we alternate where we eat each week.”

“Tradition implies happy, warm family gatherings, Janey. I doubt very much that describes these dinners!”

Jane eyes widened almost imperceptibly, as she began to get a little fearful. “If you really want Lizzy, I could call Mum and cancel?”

“Janey, I’m kidding! Geez, when did you become so easy to goad? You clearly haven’t been spending enough time around me. I won’t say family dinners are my favourite things, but having not had one in quite sometime, I can honestly say; I’m rather looking forward to it.” Elizabeth smiled smugly as she reached for some toast, and was therefore caught unawares when her sister hit her playfully on the arm.

“Tease!” Jane muttered.

Charles smiled indulgently at the easy repartee between the sisters, and William looked on with a mixture of pleasure at witnessing such intimacy and a strange longing feeling; he wished, deep down, that he had this kind of relationship with Georgie. But ever since last summer she’d been so quiet and introspective which made such a goal even harder to achieve, especially on top of the seventeen-year age gap that existed between them.

Elizabeth, still pretending to scowl at Jane, turned and spoke to William. “Well, William, if I’ve not been beaten black and blue by my violent sister by the time you’re ready to leave, I’d be happy to accompany you on your little adventure.”

William practically grinned, and Elizabeth even managed to extricate a laugh from him when she next looked at Charles and, in a dramatic stage whisper, said:

“I watch that one if I were you, Charlie. Such a vicious, unpredictable temper – you never know when she might next lash out!”

“Did you enjoy talking to my father last night?” Elizabeth asked as she and William started out on a new path through the garden of Netherfield that led to the woods bordering it. The grass, still damp under their feet was the only remaining sign of yesterday’s bad weather; but otherwise Elizabeth could not think of a better day for such a walk, or a better partner to walk with.

“I did. We had a lot in common, as I’m sure you well know,” William added with a smile. “Coincidentally though, as it turns out, I actually attended a lecture or two of his in my student days.”

“Really?” Elizabeth smiled. “What a small world! I’ve never attended one myself; I’ve read through some of his lecture notes though. Was he a good lecturer?” she asked impertinently.

“Yes, of course, rather wonderful if you ask me,” Darcy replied with mock gravity. “Quite simply,” he finished with a small smile, “the best lecturer I’ve ever had.”

Elizabeth laughed a little. “I’m sure he’ll be pleased to hear that.”

William regarded her, the small smile still playing on his lips. “You look very well to day, Elizabeth.”

Elizabeth blushed lightly and looked down at her feet, as she murmured her thanks. Having grown up in the shadow of her elder sister, she’d rarely received compliments as a child; as a consequence had yet to learn how to react to compliments. The small amount of uneasiness she usually felt upon receiving one was tempered this time though by her companion’s use of words.

“Thank you, I am feeling in the best of health,” she commented, purposely misunderstanding his comment, and attempting to hide her mirth, unsuccessfully with a shaking smile.

She had the pleasure of seeing Darcy flustered for a moment, as he floundered for words. “I – ah, that’s not precisely what I – ” Elizabeth let of a burst of laughter, and he turned sharply to look at her. His flushed cheeks turned, if possible, an even deeper shade of red. “Oh, I see, you’re teasing me.”

“I’m sorry,” she managed through her giggles. “I’m sometimes too light-hearted for my own good.”

“Then perhaps, sometimes I’m…too serious.” He finally lifted his eyes and glanced at Elizabeth; they shared an almost intimate look, until Darcy aware of his vulnerability, and a fear of being thought to be staring turned away.

There was a silence then, a horribly awkward one, where both knew that there was much that could be said, but neither knew precisely what they wished to say.

Elizabeth curled a lock of her hair around her finger, and William watched almost entranced by the repetitive almost hypnotic movements. Suddenly he felt the dire need to talk, create a diversion do anything to relieve the almost tangible tension of the moment.

“So…” he fished desperately. “Your, erm – friend Charlotte seemed very nice when – when we spoke last night.”

“Oh yes!” Elizabeth said, as she exhaled in relief. “Charlie’s great. We’ve been friends for – well, forever it seems. Our families were very close.” She paused, thoughtfully. “I don’t see as much of her as I’d like, since I moved to the city and all.”

“I know that feeling very well, what with sister choosing to go away for college, and my cousin, Richard – he’s, err, one of my closest friends – lives and works in the city, but when I’m there I’m always working and have very little time for – ”

“And you don’t make time for those closest to you?” Elizabeth asked with a questioning frown. It was hypocritical she knew, she herself was often so caught up with any number of cases, and sometimes went a fortnight or so without even talking to her family, never mind seeing them. But there was something about the ease with which he said it, the apparent lack of concern or good intention which startled her, made her question his priorities in life.

“It’s very difficult sometimes; but yes, I do try to spend as much time as possible with them. Fitz is a partner in a solicitors’ firm so, we usually spend a lot of time with each other in a professional capacity.”

Elizabeth was about to blurt out, ‘And that satisfies you does it?’ but then she remembered her early morning resolution.

She went for the satisfaction of her curiosity angle and instead asked, “Fitz?”

“Oh, yes I’m sorry. Fitz, it’s short for Fitzwilliam. Richard’s surname,” William added after he saw that her look of confusion hadn’t abated.

“Wait – a Richard Fitzwilliam who’s a partner in a firm. You’re cousin doesn’t happen to be extraordinarily good looking does he?” Elizabeth asked hurriedly.

William’s initial perplexed feelings were overridden by one’s of irrational jealousy.

“How do you know my cousin?” he questioned cautiously.

“I don’t. He’s the new employer Charlotte was considering going to work for – as far as I’m aware, she will be working for him.”

He smiled a suspicious smile. “Why do I suspect from your initial description of him that there’s something more to you and your friend’s interest of him than simply in his role as employer?”

“You may choose to suspect, and I may choose to remain silent and not satisfy your curiosity with regard to your suspicions, Mr. Darcy,” Elizabeth smiled coyly and walked further ahead, leaving her walking partner chuckling in her wake.

So the apparently sensible Charlotte is attracted to Fitz, eh? He thought as he began to move again, in order to catch up with her. “Good luck to her,” he mumbled quietly under his breath. If someone had the ability to make his cousin settle down, he highly doubted the mature and slightly reserved Charlotte would be the one to do it.

Elizabeth and William returned from their walk to find Jane and Charles still in the kitchen – the perfect picture of domesticity. Charles was washing a cabbage in the sink as Jane seasoned a leg of lamb in the oven, complete with oven gloves, aprons and all.

“Hi there,” Lizzy called as she walked in, declaring their arrival and interrupting their quiet conversation. Charles and Jane both looked up and smiled, in a comically similar fashion – time and love had probably made them more similar than they were aware.

“Do you need any help there?” William asked Jane politely as he removed his jacket and hung it on the back off one of the kitchen chairs.

“No, I appear to have everything under control, but thank,” she waived off his kind offer.

“Really? Nothing I could chop, dice or boil?” he asked good-humouredly.

“Well, if you’re so eager to rival Delia Smith, who am I to stand in your way?” Jane laughed. “There are a few carrots over here on the side that you can cut up for me.”

As William engaged in his task, Jane and he quickly slipped into polite small talk; with William asking about her job and she inquiring after the sister Charles had told her he had. Taking the opportunity of his fiancée’s apparent distraction, Bingley caught Elizabeth attention by sneaking up to her, interrupting her self-delegated task of preparing tea for the group, and tapping her impatiently on the shoulder. He gestured to the breakfast bar on the other side of the room, furthest away from where Darcy and Jane were occupied.

“I need to talk to you about Jane’s birthday,” Charles began in a low voice. Elizabeth nodded her understanding and waited for him to continue, which he promptly did. “I’m going to take her out for dinner, just the two of us – I hope you don’t mind?”

Elizabeth shook her head slowly; of course she didn’t mind that her sister’s husband-to-be wished to occupy her time on her birthday, yet Lizzy herself felt a little disappointment at not being able to share such a special day with the most important person in her life. Unexpectedly, Charles went on.

“Then afterwards, I’m planning a larger get-together in a bar in the city and I was wondering if I could count on your help to invite all of your family and her friends and such along?”

Elizabeth masked her wide smile behind a conspiratorial one. “Am I to take it then that this little ‘get-together’ is a secret?”

“Not just a pretty face!” Charles jested.

“Most certainly not, Charlie!” Elizabeth exclaimed with fake affront.

Jane and William both looked up; this last, rather louder exchange had interrupted their quiet conversation.

“Harassing my sister, darling?” Jane called, with a joke frown and a sly smile.

“Me? Never!” Charles smiled innocently, and Elizabeth almost believed that butter really wouldn’t melt in his mouth.

Jane walked over to the pair and kissed Charles soundly on the lips with a small, comic smack; he in turn wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. Elizabeth caught William’s eye and rolled her own, causing him to chuckle softly, taking this as encouragement enough she picked up her cup of tea, and together with his own, walked over to his side of the kitchen, leaving the love birds to their own contented embrace.

“It’s enough to make a person wish they weren’t single, isn’t it?” she asked conversationally.

There was a pause of epic proportions, punctuated only by the regular chopping sound of the knife as Darcy cut vegetables.

“Quite,” he mumbled.

Elizabeth closed her eyes slowly, and in complete mortification. She hadn’t meant it in the way she knew, instinctively, William had taken it. To back-pedal or not to back-pedal? Now that was the question.

Thankfully, she was saved the pain of further embarrassment as she heard the distinctive sounds of a car making it’s way down the pebble-covered driveway.

“I think I best ask you to move over and allow me to give you a hand with those vegetables because - whether we’re ready or not – my family have just landed,” Lizzy stated with a rueful smile, which thankfully, and to her utter relief, Darcy returned.

Chapter Six

Posted on Friday, 27 August 2004

The instant Mrs. Bennet and her two youngest daughters climbed Netherfield’s front steps with her husband in tow, and forcefully pushed their way through the door which Jane had just been about to open, all peace was shattered. Mrs. Bennet, having not seen her two eldest daughters for over twelve hours, was brimming full of maternal advice and tips, which of course she was desperate to impart and her daughter’s were only too glad to receive.

“Jaaane! There you are dear,” exclaimed Mrs. Bennet in the hall way, as Jane herself tried to rid her mother of her coat and scarf. “Didn’t I always tell you pale blue was your colour? Doesn’t she look lovely Charlie? Charlie?!?!” Mrs. Bennet looked rapidly from side to side, as though expecting her future son-in-law to suddenly materialize either side of her. “Where is that boy?!”

“Right here, Mrs. Bennet!” shouted Charles chirpily as he came out of the kitchen into the hallway, with a tea-towel tossed carelessly over his shoulder and arms outstretched.

Availing herself of the opened armed invitation for a hug, Mrs. Bennet light-heartedly chastised Bingley. “How many times do I have to tell you Charlie? It’s Fran!”

“Right you are Fran!” Charles replied with an impossibly wide grin. “Why don’t you all go on into the living room and I’ll fix you a drink?”

William and Elizabeth, witnesses to the entire debacle, had shared a significant look when Charles had exited the kitchen looking exactly like one’s stereotyped image of an eager and perfect teenage son from the 1950’s, but after this latest development they were both hard pressed to contain their laughter; knowing they were both having equal difficulty stopping their mirth made it even harder to do just that.

The ever loud and boisterous matriarch of the Bennet family followed Charles and led her brood into the living room. Lydia, true to form, smiled flirtatiously at William as she passed; Kitty hung back and watched from her sister’s shadow.

“Hi, my name’s Lydia. And yours?” She pulled back her shoulders, effectively shoving her chest into Darcy’s surprised and taken aback face. He was still trying to find his voice when Elizabeth stepped forwards.

“Lydia!” she said warningly, her voice dangerously lower than usual. “This is William Darcy, as I’m sure you already know.”

Lydia pouted, and her shoulders instantly sank as she turned back into the sulky teen she really was. “Lizzy! I was just trying to have a little fun, there’s no need to get all territorial.”

“Wow Lyddy,” Elizabeth retorted sarcastically, “that word’s got five syllables in it. You really are coming along in leaps and bounds. And don’t pull that face at me young lady!” She added as Lydia slunk away, muttering angrily to Kitty.

“Nice to see you again my boy,” Mr. Bennet finally piped up as he shook his head ruefully at his daughters’ antics.

“And you. How’ve you been?” William asked politely. Elizabeth, still slightly distracted by the behaviour of her youngest sister, simply smiled at the exchange.

“Is that a tactful way of asking if my girls have been giving me any more jip than usual?” Mr. Bennet asked, corners of his mouth and one eyebrow upturned.

“Not at all. I – errr- meant nothing of the kind…um – ” William stuttered.

“Not used to being teased this one is he, Lizzy?” Mr. Bennet chuckled.

William smiled. “I’m getting used to it with you and your daughter around sir, I can tell you.”

“Perhaps we’ll find a sense of humour under there yet, eh?”

“I’m positive there’s one already there, Dad – and you don’t have to look too hard to find it either.” Elizabeth smiled lightly, and William, pleased by the compliment turned to her. The look they shared lasted some moments, and Mr. Bennet felt it prudent to clear his throat before they either forgot about him entirely or spent the entire afternoon stood by the front door.

“I’ll go on ahead shall I?” Elizabeth’s father asked, ever perceptive. Once the living room door shut behind her dad, Lizzy immediately started talking.

“I’m sorry about Lydia and her behaviour. I’ve come to expect it, as we all have, but you’re still unaccustomed to it, so I thought I’d just make the apology now and get it over with so I don’t have to keep doing it again later.”

“Elizabeth, please don’t apologise – it’s not you’re fault, nor are you her parent,” William replied softly, reassuringly.

“I know that, but neither Mum nor Dad makes the effort to check her actions, so usually Jane or I end up doing it.”

Darcy didn’t know what to say exactly, and so, instead, he reached out his hand and squeezed her arm gently. Elizabeth, eyes wide, was shocked by the intimacy; Darcy noticed and retracted the offending hand.

“Perhaps we should go in now?” he took a step back from her as he spoke, and indicated the room where everyone, bar Jane, now sat.

Elizabeth, ever conscious of her family’s shocking effect upon newcomers and strangers, was loathe to tell him to go ahead without her whilst she helped her elder sister – but help Jane she must!

Besides, as shocking and boisterous as Mum and Lydia may be, there’s no real harm it them…when they aren’t attacking me at least!

“You go on in, I’m going to go and help Jane.”

William nodded slowly. “Yes, I’ll go and see if Charles needs a hand sorting out those drinks.”

“You’re a guest William, I’m sure there’s no need.”

“So are you,” he reminded her.

She laughed lightly. “Right you are! People in glass houses and all that.”

William smiled, pleased that he had made her laugh that light, almost musical laugh which he had come to unexpectedly relish the sound of over the two short days he’d spent with her.

Less than an hour later, the whole noisy gathering was assembled around the long mahogany table in Netherfield’s dining room. Elizabeth had managed to maneuver the seating arrangement so that she and Charles sat either side of William, her father opposite; Lydia and her mother were as far away as possible. She hated having to do it – she hated feeling ashamed of her own flesh and blood. In extreme times she even blamed her father for never taking the time or making the effort to punish or discipline his wild younger daughters; but now, as per usual, she saw her father as the man he was. The wry, educated, witty man who derived pleasure and amusement from watching the foibles and follies of his wife and children – and since his marriage had lacked a certain luster for many years, she could hardly begrudge him his favourite pastime now could she?

“And what about you Lizzy?” her mother screeched across the table.

“I’m sorry Mum, what did you say?” Elizabeth asked distractedly.

“Well, I was asking you if you’d taken on any of what I’d said last night – about getting a man” Mrs. Bennet attempted to whisper conspiratorially which, of course, meant that she spoke at least ten decibels above everyone else there. “But, you’ve answered my question already haven’t you? Dilly-dallying and day-dreaming – no wonder you never get any dates! I take it, with your head in the clouds all the time, you didn’t meet any eligible men?”

“No, mother, I didn’t meet any one new.”

There was something in her tone which made William look at her, a hint that there was a hidden meaning to her words which he thought he grasped and understood. He looked intently at her, willing her to meet his eye to confirm his suspicions, but to no avail, Elizabeth wouldn’t be persuaded to look up from her potatoes.

“More’s the pity!” Mrs. Bennet sighed dramatically. “But did you hear Lyddy? She’s got herself a new man – the captain of the first football team at school! His father owns his own accountancy firm as well – frightfully boring I dare say, but a very good income nevertheless.”

Elizabeth replied with an eyebrow raised sardonically. “The captain of the football team? Lydia, last time I checked, you went to the same girls’ school as we all did.”

“Liiiiizzy,” Lydia whined. “There’s a boys’ division too you know! Well, perhaps you don’t, you were such a big, bloody geek at school that I surprised you even knew of the existence of any person with a p-”

“LYDIA! Please!” Both Elizabeth and Jane exclaimed at the same time, both bearing identical faces of utter embarrassment and shock. William’s eyes had widened – very perceptibly, and even Charles had choked on his mouthful of wine, Kitty sniggered; Mrs and Mr. Bennet alone seemingly remained unperturbed.

Silence reigned and the tension was more than palpable. Uncomfortable fidgeting and coughing only added to the awkward atmosphere.

“Has anyone heard from Mary recently?” Elizabeth finally asked in a shaky voice.

“Oh, no! That girl’s far too absorbed with her studies to even give a toss about us – the people who raised her, the people who pay for her education. I keep telling her she’ll never find a husband if she’s always preoccupied, but does she listen –”

“And your art project, Kitty?” Jane interrupted her mother loudly. Lizzy smiled at her gratefully. It was like the old days, when they both lived at home and they’d had visitors or guests; Lizzy and Jane had had an unwritten rule that together, working as a team, they would try to quiet their mother, thus lessening their misery. Eventually, they had become quite the experts and had learnt to stop Mrs. Bennet from saying something even before she’d opened her mouth, but years of independence and time away from home had clearly affected their abilities.

With disastrous effects this time Elizabeth mused as she took in William’s expression.

“Oh, I don’t know – it takes so much time to do even one piece that I can’t be bothered doing a whole project, especially since the last time I even attempted to do one I only got a C minus,” Kitty whined.

Elizabeth, surprised at her sister’s lack of concern, arched an eyebrow and looked at her father inquiringly; he merely shrugged. “You aren’t going to do anything about it Dad? You pay for her education and you’re going to let her waste it all?” Her tone was neither accusatory nor indignant, simply questioning. Elizabeth was just asking what everyone was thinking – why was Mr. Bennet so unconcerned by his daughter’s behaviour? And why wasn’t he doing anything to turn the situation around?

“And you Kitty?” Lizzy turned her attention to her sister instead, after having made no progress with her father – the wry man she knew and loved seemed to have been momentarily replaced by the one that infuriated her. “Don’t you even care that you’re going to end up failing if you carry on like this? These are you’re A-levels!”

“Lizzy,” Jane said soothingly.

“No, Jane! Why is no one going to say anything? We girls received, and are receiving still,” she said, with a significant glance in Kitty and Lydia’s direction, “benefits which others have no chance of ever aspiring to, never mind getting them!”

“Chill out Liz, it’s not like qualifications are the be all and end all,” Lydia smiled smugly.

“No, they aren’t! Quite right Lyddy!” Mrs. Bennet piped in.

Elizabeth sighed heavily. “You know what, you’re right! They’re your lives, waste them if you will, but I just can’t believe you want to, and I, for one don’t want to stand around and watch you throw them down the plughole!” She ran her fingers angrily through her hair. “I’m sorry, maybe I’m over-reacting – I just care.”

Lydia rolled her eyes, but Kitty had the sense to look a little contrite.

“I’m going into the kitchen to get another drink, does anyone want anything?” Lizzy said, pushing back from the table suddenly. No body commented on the jug of water or bottle of wine already on the table, nor did they ask her to bring them anything in.

As she left Elizabeth saw the stare that Charles sent William’s way, and the subtle inclination of his head toward her retreating figure, and though she told herself she didn’t really expect William to follow her in, she was, nevertheless a little disappointed when he never came.