Beginning , Section II

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Chapter Ten ~ Love Me for Love's Sake ~Part One

Posted on Thursday, 27 November 2003

If thou must love me, let it be for naught
Except for love's sake only. Do not say
I love her for her smile--her look--her way
Of speaking gently,--for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of ease on such a day--
For these things in themselves, Beloved, may
Be changed, or change for thee,--and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheek dry,--
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love's sake, that evermore
Thou may'st love on, through love's eternity.
(Elizabeth Barrett Browning)

"Hope is like a harebell, trembling from its birth,
Love is like a rose, the joy of all the earth,
Faith is like a lily, lifted high and white,
Love is like a lovely rose, the world's delight.
Harebells and sweet lilies show a thornless growth,
But the rose with all its thorns excels them both."
(Christina Rossetti)

Diana did not attempt to begin a conversation; she was walking by his side smiling innocently. The fresh morning air had flushed her cheeks; she looked like a wood nymph. The delicate curve of her white neck was exquisite, matched only by the mass of glossy curls floating down her back. Little amethysts were woven into the velvet hoop holding back her hair, the same pink, only slightly faded, was revived on the neckline of her dress and every second fold of her frock, matching the second colour, a dark pink, in a perfect way, only Diana was capable of blending two colours in such a ravishing way.

"A lovely dress, my dear," Alex muttered, "I suppose it's the newest fashion in London?"

Diana gave him a rather bland smile remembering how he had turned her from a simple daughter of an impoverished gentleman into the most fascinating beauty of high society. Her life was driven by ambition and desire, two forces tightly bound together in her mind. Being of gentile birth she had been raised by nuns after losing her mother to tuberculosis. Her infancy and childhood were highly influenced by missing the father she had never known and the care of her sweet mother.

Rebecca Montgomery had lived for her only child ever since her husband being reported missing from a trip abroad. The invasion of her body by tuberculosis had made it impossible to raise her all by herself, thus she decided to entrust Diana to the care of the Sisters of The Holy Cross. Diana, who was a quiet child, made no protest, no cross word was heard from her about her mother or her state of lonesomeness. The news of her mother's painful death drove her into depression from which she emerged as a strong, ruthless young woman. Her quiet nature was affected by it and even though she wouldn't turn into a talkative woman, she had lost all her calm and quietness.

"Diana? Are you well? You look very ill!" All the anger had fled from Alex's voice at the sight of her pale face and the glimmer of sadness in her eyes.

Her anger flared up in unbound fury, the sight of her blazing eyes, her trembling figure and her clenched jaw were not only scaring him but taking him by surprise for he had never seen her in an emotional fit.

"What difference does it make to you if I'm unwell or not? You are the one who humiliated me, your betrothed, in front of this friend of yours, you are the one who keeps holding me at a distance, you're the one who cannot stand up to your father for me and you are the one who keeps vowing eternal love to me without convincing a fool and least of all me!"

Being warmly received by the Darcys somewhat revived Aurelia's spirits, Alex's parents had not only treated her like their own children but also taken much interest in her future happiness and security. Therefore, Bingley and Darcy had decided to present her to high society at the Pemberley Ball this year so she might find a good husband to take care of her.

"We are delighted to see you again, Aurelia. It seems too long, it is too long since we had the pleasure of having you here at Pemberley," Elizabeth greeted her. "And that you came here to help us with Aurelia gives us even more pleasure too feel grateful for your presence!"

Aurelia curtsied in front of Mrs. Darcy and returned her greeting most affectionately.

"Mrs. Darcy, thank you for welcoming me so kindly. Mr. Darcy, it's a pleasure to see you again. May I see Abby? I should like to take care of her as soon as I can!" Her voice sounded urgent.

"Her nanny is with her now, Aurelia. You'll see her at breakfast," Elizabeth paused in surprise as she beheld the urgency in Aurelia's strained face. "My dear, you must be very tired after the long carriage ride. We have a room prepared for you, it's your old apartment here in the West Wing."

"The old apartment with the unknown portrait?"

"The very one! I'll ring for Rosa to take you there. Feel free to rest as long as you wish, there is no hurry," Mr. Darcy agreed.

"Before I lie down to rest, may I ask if the treatments have improved the frostbite yet?"

Watching the Darcys exchanging sad glances, Aurelia tensed and took Elizabeth's hand affectionately. She couldn't bear seeing her favourite aunt in so much pain. "They will work, Auntie! I know they will!" Aurelia rarely used this affectionate term to address Mrs. Darcy but it felt so right at this time of turmoil. Mr. Darcy joined them putting his hand on his wife's shoulder to give her strength.

"Thank you, Aurelia. I really don't know how I would bear this without the two of you!"

Despite of feeling exhausted Aurelia could not find any rest. After several attempts to get some sleep to soothe her throbbing heart, she got up, donned a robe and sat down in front of the fireplace. The young boy portrayed on the unknown painting was smiling down at her innocently.

Part Two

And does she bear the cross of all our human sin?
(Cocciante and Plamondon)

Look with Mercy on the Sins we have this day committed,
and in Mercy make us feel them deeply,
that our Repentance may be sincere,
and our resolutions steadfast
of endeavouring against the commission of such in future.
Teach us to understand the sinfulness of our own Hearts,
and bring to our knowledge every fault of Temper
and every evil Habit in which we have indulged
to the discomfort of our fellow-creatures,
and the danger of our own Souls. (Jane Austen)

Darcy was attending to some business in his study when a servant announced that Miss Montgomery wished to see him. He felt no pleasure at this forthcoming meeting but rather than offend her by refusing to let her come in he decided it was for the best to face her on her own grounds. Nodding to the servant, he bade her to come in. A wave of dark pink and black seemed to gush right at him as she walked in, smiling defiantly. Coming towards his desk her slender fingers played with the silken folds of her fan, it reminded Darcy of the movement of a peacock in full splendour. A peacock with grace and an angelic voice Darcy had to admit as he listened to her.

"You wanted to see me?" Though curtly put she wrapped her poison in a delicious smile.

"Indeed, I did ask you to see me this morning. It pleases me that you've followed my request with such punctuality!" His voice sounded severe but not unpleasant.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Darcy?"

"I summoned you here because I want to know more about you and your family. Since we're not acquainted with your parents why won't you start with telling me about them?"

A shadow crossed Diana's face, part of it was disappointment but the other source remained veiled to his watchful eye. A ripping noise was heard, the pink silk of her fan was torn.

"They are dead," she stated icily.

"I am very sorry to hear about your loss," Darcy offered soothing words. "Have you known them?"

Diana dropped her gaze to the floor, she was close to another fit.

"My father left us before I could ever get to know him; my poor mother had to face having lost her husband and her body being consumed by tuberculosis. When her illness took a turn for the worse, she sent me away to nuns. She died only weeks after that. Is that all you want to know?" She bit her lip to hold back her emotions. Hatred and love were fighting a dreadful battle within her, Darcy could see that she was very affected by the tale of her childhood. Getting up he offered her his arm and led her to a sofa.

"Please, have a seat. Do you want me to get you a glass of wine, or anything that might give you relief?"

She shook her head fiercely but thanked him gracefully. Putting her hand on his sleeve, she glanced right into his eyes with emotions raging in the blue sapphires of her eyes.

"There is no good in living a lie and there is no good in never having peace is there?" Her question was bold and her face once more bore the cold and calculating look of ardour and, he had to admit it, the vigour of knowledge.

That very afternoon a letter from Jane arrived at Pemberley. Lizzy took great delight in hearing from her sister but the news coming with this letter were alarming rather than comforting. Jane was expecting another baby, it was a difficult pregnancy and she rebuked her kindly for not responding to her previous letters. Elizabeth, who had never seen the letters Jane claimed she had written, was aghast. There was no way that two letters might go astray; she remembered that from a particular event in her youth. Unsure about what should be done she decided to join her husband in his study to ask for his advice. He would know what to do in such delicate matters for his head was cooler than hers and his way of dealing with problems such as this was not driven by his temper but a steady, calm nature, unmoved by profane motives.

Chapter Eleven ~ What is it about her? <> Posted on Monday, 5 January 2004

What is it about her
That makes me want her?
What is it about her
That turns me pale?
Something in her smile
Something that I'll never understand
Her wild abandon.

What is it about her
That parts the waters?
What is it about her
That hoists the sail?

Something in her hair
Instructing where to touch
Why do I need her so much?

This woman makes me cry
This woman makes me burn
This woman's eye can cut me to the core

The hatred that I see
Has been reserved for me
Yet I want more
And more
And more

And what is it about her
That pulls me closer?
She is tormenting me for wanting her

This woman is all I have
So soft so fair, so fine
And she's forever mine.

This woman builds me up
This woman tears me down
This woman speaks and I can break apart

What is it about her
So slight, so secret?
Something in the way she catches light
Like a diamond
Perfect and hard
Glittering and blinding

What is it about her
That jumbles feelings inside?
What is it about her
That mixes passion with pride?

Could I live without her
And let her go?
How loud must I scream
NO!
(Andrew Lippa ~ Slight changes made by the author)

It was late in the afternoon when Jane Bingley and her husband arrived at Longbourn. They had left Tysworth Hall in the good care of Bess and even though both were worried about Jane's delicate condition their love for Mr. Bennet overcame all obstacles. There was no one to welcome them, the entire house was in confusion; it saddened Jane that neither Mary nor Kitty had found the time to follow their father's request to be with him in the time of need and sickness. Jane nearly ripped off her bonnet and shawl and ran upstairs taking two steps at a time Bingley following at her heels. Upon entering her father's room a dreadful smell of left over food and sickness penetrated her nostrils, she was close to vomiting.

"Papa! I'm here, I'm right here!" Jane cried approaching the bed and, horrified by the sight of him, knelt down clasping her father's damp hand. He didn't seem to see her, it was as if he was looking through her.

"Lizzy, are you there?" His voice sounded hollow and unsteady.

"It's Jane, Papa! It's me! Lizzy will come, I'm sure!" Tears were flowing down her cheeks.

"I wrote to her, why didn't she come?" the reproaching words echoed through the bedchamber.

Jane fought a dreadful battle against the desire to comfort her father by telling him everything about Abby and the frostbite and that Lizzy wasn't like her other sisters who didn't seem to care. Biting the knuckles of her fist which was pressed against her cold lips she was about to explode with the truth, that it was tearing Lizzy apart that she couldn't follow her father's last wish. Had she told him everything he might worry even more, so Jane decided to tell him that Lizzy would surely come and she was praying that Lizzy would come in time.

Darcy got up from the sofa and went towards the window avoiding a response to Diana's words. Of course she was right but how could she possibly know? Up to a few days ago she had been a stranger to him and when she came into his life, as his son's future wife no less, all she did was stirring feelings within him no other woman had ever done before, not even Elizabeth. But those were neither good nor worthy of anything but contempt. There was no love between them, as a matter of fact he had seen the blaze of hatred more than once in her fascinating eyes. Contrary to Elizabeth's amber coloured eyes, glowing with so much tenderness and love, hers were blue sapphires, perfect and engaging. The way the blue seas of her eyes darkened with emotions and brightened with fury was unique, there was a haunting quality about those eyes, something fearful and yet invincible.

Turning back towards her he beheld her profile; she wasn't even looking at him right now. As if she was carried away by her thoughts she was staring at his desk in a peculiar way. Following her glance he beheld the object that had caught her attention; it was a small picture of Abigail as a baby. Held by a delicate silver frame the little painting showed a smiling infant in her mother's arms.

"It's a lovely picture, isn't it?" Darcy attempted to begin a new conversation. Watching her intently he beheld her turning her graceful head towards him and giving her approval with a most graceful nod. Her skirts rustled as she got up and came towards him but unlike her usual way she kept a long distance between them.

"A beautiful image indeed! A mother holding her sweet daughter, the most loving embrace of them all..." Her voice broke into a sob; she turned away from him to leave the room without exposing herself to him. But before she was able to reach the door she felt him coming after her and, turning back, she gave way to her emotions by weeping silently.

"I'm sorry, my dear. I should have remembered..." He led her back to the sofa never releasing her hand until she pulled it back gently. "Is there anything I can do for you?" She shook her head violently.

Pulling herself together she smiled at him and got up so that, for a moment, he was looking up to her. Feeling his gaze on her figure she trembled and turned away to wipe off her tears.

"I shall leave now. Thank you for..." The door being opened interrupted the sentence and seeing his wife with a rather amazed look towards her husband Diana left the room quickly. Before shutting the door behind her she smiled at Elizabeth but her smile was bare of affection as much as it contained sparkle.

"Lia! Lia!" Abby cried from her parents' bed.

Aurelia caught Abby in a loving embrace. "Abby, sweetheart, how wonderful to see you. Are you better, dearest?" Aurelia noticed that Abby was hiding her hands even though the bruises on her head seemed to heal accordingly.

"Head hurts..." Abby admitted.

"And what about your fingers, Abby?" Aurelia attempted to look at her fingers.

"NO!" the little girl screamed holding back her hands.

Aurelia did not blame Abby for behaving the way she did but caressed her tousled head lovingly. "If you don't want to you don't have to show me your fingers, honey. I'm sure they'll be well again very soon!" Abby looked rather puzzled but accepted Aurelia's kindness gladly. Taking out a book from her bag she suggested to read to her.

"Yes, please!" Abby cried happily.

Aurelia read the fairy tale of the Frog Prince but she only got to the moment where the princess lost the golden ball in the pond when Abby started to squirm and to weep without control. The only response Aurelia got to her frantic inquiries was that Abby dreaded falling into the water. Holding the little girl in her arms she wished that she could do more than rocking her gently and promising her that all would be well. The wounds were there and scars would remain, no matter how much love and care was given.

"Alex! Alex, where are you?" Diana was running around in the garden looking for her betrothed.

"I'm right here, dearest. What is it? Why are you so upset?" Alex sounded worried. Putting his arms around her he held her tenderly.

"It's nothing, I was missing you..."

"But we've seen each other only a few hours ago..." Alex attempted to jest.

"Are you saying that I'm bothering you?" Diana flared up.

Her temper scared him, she had always been unpredictable but normally such attempts of humour did not upset her that much, after all it was she who enjoyed teasing him, who loved toying with him and he had never considered blaming her for doing so, quite the contrary, this was part of her charm and allure. There it was: allure There was no other word fitting her better.

"Well?" She was trembling with fury.

"Diana, you could never bother me. I love you, I adore you and I need you. Before I met you I couldn't possibly understand how much loving someone could mean to me, you are my everything. Without you I feel crippled, I don't ever wish you away. If possible I'd keep you with me wherever I go!" His words were glowing with the sincerity of a boy's first tender love. To him she had become not only his other self but his guardian angel.

Diana put her arms around his neck, his words were touching and sweet to her ears. "Is this true?" she questioned sweetly.

Tightening his embrace he gave her a smile. He loved her vulnerability, it made him feel most noble and chivalrous.

"Of course it's true, sweetheart. Whatever makes you think I could be insincere?"

"It's not that, I do believe you. I'm sorry that I made you feel uncomfortable, my dear. It's some feminine weakness I guess..."

"Nobody expects you to be strong all the time..."

She cut him off by kissing him ardently and as much as she enjoyed feeling him so close her heart wasn't in it.

Darcy's eyes had followed Diana as she went out but when his wife came towards him his mind was torn back into reality. What is it about her his mind screamed at him. For a moment he loathed himself.

"William, what was going on?" She sounded stern. When Darcy approached her she went back and gestured him to stay away.

"What do you mean?"

"William, do you think I am blind? What did you do to her to make her cry? And what makes you think that I haven't noticed how you are acting when she is around you?"

"Elizabeth," he began sternly. "I haven't done anything to her except asking her about her family. Remembering her mother's early death caused her to weep. All I did was offering her consolation and relief!"

Elizabeth's features softened.

"I didn't mean to imply that you hurt her in any way but with so much grief around us..." Suddenly she burst into tears letting forth all the sadness she had kept within her to give him strength. Feeling his arms around her, her body became limp, her tears fell on his chest and despite her vivacious character all she could feel now was a desire to be near the man she loved. Propriety didn't matter, his peculiar behaviour was not important to her now, all that mattered was the closeness and happiness only he could give her. Tilting her head she offered him her lips, an offer that he accepted with a rarely shown hunger.

Meanwhile Alex and Diana were walking together, hand in hand, through the garden enjoying each other's presence without words. Without any suspicion Alex asked himself the same question which had consumed his father's soul previously. A question to which there were several answers it seemed but none gave him satisfaction.

What is it about her?

Chapter Twelve ~ The human heart has hidden treasures

Posted on Sunday, 11 January 2004

The human heart has hidden treasures,
In secret kept, in silence sealed;­
The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures,
Whose charms were broken if revealed.
And days may pass in gay confusion,
And nights in rosy riot fly,
While, lost in Fame's or Wealth's illusion,
The memory of the Past may die.

But, there are hours of lonely musing,
Such as in evening silence come,
When, soft as birds their pinions closing,
The heart's best feelings gather home.
Then in our souls there seems to languish
A tender grief that is not woe;
And thoughts that once wrung groans of anguish,
Now cause but some mild tears to flow.

And feelings, once as strong as passions,
Float softly back­ a faded dream;
Our own sharp griefs and wild sensations,
The tale of others' sufferings seem.
Oh ! when the heart is freshly bleeding,
How longs it for that time to be,
When, through the mist of years receding,
Its woes but live in reverie !

And it can dwell on moonlight glimmer,
On evening shade and loneliness;
And, while the sky grows dim and dimmer,
Feel no untold and strange distress­
Only a deeper impulse given
By lonely hour and darkened room,
To solemn thoughts that soar to heaven,
Seeking a life and world to come.
(Charlotte Brontë)

The mood at the dinner table was low for even though all were present for the sake of the family no one present felt like entertaining the other. And when Elizabeth invited everyone to spend time in the music room the response was rather indifferent. Aurelia found much pleasure in playing with Abby while Alex and Diana were sitting together in silence; Diana was reading and Alex was studying several books he had brought home from university. Elizabeth found no pleasure in her book while Darcy was about to excuse himself for the night when Alex suggested that Diana should sing something. Memories of a dear event immediately came flowing back to Darcy and Elizabeth; both were caught in a loving glance remembering the first loving gaze they had shared over the piano. Diana, who had changed into a white satin gown with a pinkish stola, accepted Alex's offer gladly; having a beautiful soprano voice the task at hand presented no difficulty to her. Sitting down at the pianoforte she starting looking through the pile of scores and songs, an old collection Georgiana had put together so carefully. The moment Diana started playing time seemed to stand still for not even Georgiana had been capable of playing that exquisitely at such a tender age. The timbre of her voice was rich and golden with a silvery ping to it.What a brilliant choice, Darcy thought; he had recognized Bellini's melodious masterpiece immediately.

Qui la voce sua soave
mi chiamava...e poi sparì.
Qui giurava esser fedele,
qui il giurava,
E poi crudele, mi fuggì!
Ah, mai più qui assorti insieme
nella gioia dei sospir.
Ah, rendetemi la speme,
o lasciate, lasciatemi morir.

Elvira's mad scene from Bellini's opera "I Puritani" had never sounded more lovely to Darcy's ears than now, not even Maria Malibran's performance which he had heard while traveling through Italy had had such an impact on him. The serenade on a lover who had been untrue and then cruelly left his sweetheart to melancholy and hysteria awoke sad memories of loss and perished dreams.

Maria Malibran, one of Bellini's muses

The haunting pathos of Bellini's melodies and the sadness of her timbre merged with a glittering air of virtuosity as she tackled the cabaletta holding most difficult coloratura, runs and high notes. But here Bellini's gaiety failed to convince Darcy, the turn backwards was too fast, too cut off to be taken seriously. And yet her voice soared above all flaws the libretto had without a doubt, it was as if Diana had found herself in Elvira's sad melancholy and gaiety.

Vien, diletto, è in ciel la luna!
Tutto tace intorno intorno;
finchè spunti in cielo il giorno,
vien, ti posa sul mio cor!
Deh!, t'affretta, o Arturo mio,
riedi, o caro, alla tua Elvira:
essa piange e ti sospira,
vien, o caro, all'amore..

She was so full of contradictions, it was impossible to comprehend her complex nature. How come she was able to play and sing so well if her family was poor and not of the good ton? Truth be told Darcy was tired of trying to understand her, her many charms had exhausted him and even though her hold on him had not weakened he didn't feel like being in her company any longer. Her presence, her voice and only the way the silken folds of her stola seemed to caress her lovely slender arms had an unwanted effect on him, the vision of her was more than troubling. Closing the book he had had no leisure to read anyway he got up and kissed Elizabeth's hand.

"Excuse me, my dear. Please, enjoy the lovely music, I'm suffering from a headache and shall withdraw for the night!"

Elizabeth herself didn't feel well and wanted to lie down and therefore decided to ask Aurelia to take care of Abigail and then she wanted to go upstairs and finish the conversation she and William had started previously. Obviously the memories were painful to him because once he had started opening his heart to her his entire appearance had changed. Of course it was a change that was noticeable to her experienced eye alone. When he thought himself unwatched he would appear more brooding and tense than usual, his speech, though still civil and gentlemanlike would become short and uninvolved and his gaze would drift away from the person talking to him or the object he appeared to pay attention to. Elizabeth was more determined than ever to find out what plagued her beloved and, whatever it was, to give him all the support he needed.

Being left alone by both Alex's parents, Aurelia and Abigail, Diana started playing a simple piece for the piano to delight her fiancé. But as much as Alex took delight in her musical skills he wanted to have a conversation with her now.

"That was a lovely piece, my love!" he smiled at her.

"Thank you, dearest! Do you want me to play another one?" she offered.

"Actually I'd prefer to talk to you for just a little. We haven't discussed our wedding in a long time... Of course there were obstacles but I'm sure that my parents would be delighted to give a ball in honour of our betrothal. My aunt Georgiana told me of the ball Mama and Papa had given for her and I'm sure they'd do the same for you!" He clasped her hands tenderly.

"But don't you think that Abigail comes first? Of course the little darling has to recover fully first, she's your sister after all!" Her words were stingy and hard, it was as if she meant the exact opposite of what she had just said.

"But sweetheart, of course I didn't mean that we should rush into anything! It's just that I love you so much and that's what I want to show to the world! I want all other men to know that I'm engaged to the kindest, loveliest and most adorable woman in the land!"

Diana made a face. "In the land?"

"In the world!" he amended and kissed her hand.

"Let go of me!" Her voice sounded harsh. "I want to retire for the night!"

Alex's face fell at her rejection. Being used to her wild temper he tried to soothe her with tender words but all he saw was that the tension that was gripping her seemed to grow with each word he said. "Have I hurt you in any way? If it's about the music..."

Diana got up and, after tearing herself away from him, turned her back on him. It was all so irritating; his compliments did nothing to calm down the anger that was boiling within here, what new was there in compliments that had been old when Cleopatra was young? How could he possibly believe that she could be caught in the net of empty words and declarations?

"No, it is not about the music! It's just that I want to be left in peace! Ever since I came here I hardly had some time for myself! Why is it so hard for you to understand that I don't want to spend all my time with you swooning to poetry, music and declarations of love?" Her voice sounded harder than she had intended, the effect was all too visible. His face became grim and his lips tightened.

"I see that I was misled by a misapprehension! A very foolish mistake indeed, please forgive me. Of course you want to be alone, just like me you need your solitude and prefer to have some time alone. I shall respect your needs more from now on!" His voice was quiet but not that sort of quietness that might be overheard. It was dangerously calm and bare of any emotion.

"I'm pleased to hear that!" she gave back coldly. The glimmer she saw flaring up in his eyes cut her to the core. Watching him leaving her she went back to the pianoforte and started playing another song. Afterwards she took a deep breath, got up and left the room to do what had to be done.

As much as he had done to appear unmoved by Diana's apparent coldness Alex now felt completely put down. He had turned to her for comfort but instead of warm words all she had given him was biting sarcasm and hateful coldness. Loving her had become his second nature but now he wanted something she wasn't willing to give. Before he noticed it he had arrived at Aurelia's door. Without thinking much he knocked and after a kind Come in! was heard he opened the door and entered her room.

"Aurie, I'm sorry if I'm bothering you..."

Aurelia was sitting by the fire reading a book. Abby had fallen asleep after the treatments even before she had pulled the covers over her thus allowing Aurelia to read a little before going to bed. As usual she was wearing a white gown but here, in the privacy of her room, she had taken the pins out of her red curls allowing them to cascade down her back beautifully. She put the book aside immediately and gave him a kind smile.

"Of course you're not bothering me, Alex. It's me, remember? Have I ever been bothered by your presence?"

Her gentle and witty response brought a smile to his lips.

"No, I guess I was stupid. But Aurie, you're a young woman now, I have to treat you respectfully!"

Aurie's eyebrows went up in mock surprise. "Are you trying to tell me that you didn't treat me with respect before I was grown up?"

"Of course not...er.. you know what I mean!" He was clearly flustered.

"Come, sit by the fire and tell me!"

"How do you know I came upstairs to tell you something?"

Aurelia smiled sweetly. "Alex, I'm young but I'm not stupid. I know you better than most people and I can see clearly that something is bothering you," she responded candidly.

With Abigail sleeping in her own room Darcy and Elizabeth had all the privacy that was required to resume their previous conversation. Darcy attended to some business first while Elizabeth was reading her book by the fire. Both said Good Night! to Abigail and decided to go to bed themselves because it was late and the following day promised to be hard and tough. While getting ready for bed they barely spoke but after lying down both found peace in each other's arms for several long moments of tenderness.

"William, I want to know everything. There is so much you haven't shared with me, please tell me now!"

"I hardly know where to begin... Perhaps I'll tell you the easy part first," he began carefully. "When my parents had their first child it was named after my grandfather Thomas Elegius Darcy. Four years later they had another boy, me...." Here his voice broke with emotion for just an instant. "Tom was the pride of my parents, the most adorable young boy in the county... He was fair, talented and he had a good heart. Unlike his distant younger brother he had no difficulties in bonding with other children.. You see, Elizabeth, he was the one defending me when other children were calling me a pompous, arrogant fool or worse..."

"But not being capable of being as social as others is hardly a crime!" Elizabeth interjected causing Darcy to smile bitterly.

"That's what you're saying now, my dearest, but do you remember how you and I disliked each other at first sight?"

"But it resulted in the most beautiful life imaginable, if you ask me, our story is far more riveting than all Shakespeare Dramas put together because it was unpredictable!" she smirked.

"Well, to get back to my story, let me tell you about Tom's life as my brother and how he died..." A frenzied knock on the door interrupted his tale. They hardly had time to put on their robes when they heard another knock.

"Come in!" Elizabeth cried.

The door flew open and a horrified Aurelia ran into the room. She was in her nightgown, not even wearing a robe.

"Aunt Elizabeth! Mr. Darcy! Abby... Abby... She..." She was breathing heavily.

Elizabeth's chest tightened fearfully. What was it about her baby? Had there been a lapse? Was she unconscious again? Aurelia's words cut to the core of the frenzied mother. "I wanted to do the treatments and when I came in Abby's room it was empy! She's nowhere to be found! Abby is missing!"

Chapter Thirteen ~ This word thou hast said

Posted on Wednesday, 14 January 2004

But only three in all God's universe
Have heard this word thou hast said,--Himself, beside
Thee speaking, and me listening! and replied
One of us . . . that was God . . . and laid the curse
So darkly on my eyelids, as to amerce
My sight from seeing thee,--that if I had died,
The deathweights, placed there, would have signified
Less absolute exclusion. 'Nay' is worse
From God than from all others, O my friend!
Men could not part us with their worldly jars,
Nor the seas change us, nor the tempests bend;
Our hands would touch for all the mountain-bars:
And, heaven being rolled between us at the end,
We should but vow the faster for the stars.
(Elizabeth Barrett Browning)

Can it be right to give what I can give?
To let thee sit beneath the fall of tears
As salt as mine, and hear the sighing years
Re-sighing on my lips renunciative
Through those infrequent smiles which fail to live
For all thy adjurations? O my fears,
That this can scarce be right! We are not peers,
So to be lovers; and I own, and grieve,
That givers of such gifts as mine are, must
Be counted with the ungenerous. Out, alas!
I will not soil thy purple with my dust,
Nor breathe my poison on thy Venice-glass,
Nor give thee any love--which were unjust.
Beloved, I only love thee! let it pass.
(Elizabeth Barrett Browning)

Elizabeth felt Darcy's arm around her waist supporting her as her knees gave in and she almost hit the floor with shock. Her heart was racing, it felt as if an iron ring had been put around her chest. Pulling herself together she resumed a standing position and, clinging to her husband, fought her tightened throat to speak. Words mixed with sobs and fearful gasps came forth. Finally Darcy hushed her by pressing her against his chest and started speaking himself.

"Aurelia, are you sure?" he began, hoping against hope that Abby had left her bed to go playing in the music room or one of the salons. "Have you checked all her favourite rooms?"

Aurelia shook her head sadly, it pained her to see her beloved aunt going through so much agony. "I've checked all the rooms except for the guest apartments, I even went into the garden and called for her. Nothing happened. Her room was dark..." Suddenly she remembered something, Darcy noticed it immediately.

"What are you thinking?" he asked quickly.

"Well, it was strange that several of her drawers were open when I came in, I clearly remember closing the only one Abby and I used when I tucked her in for the night...."

"Is something missing?" A dark suspicion arose in Darcy's mind.

"I didn't check the drawers; I immediately began searching for her! If you want to I'll check them at once..." Aurelia offered.

Darcy continued to rub Elizabeth's back tenderly as he made up his mind. He would take care of this and he would find Abigail and bring her back to his Elizabeth. As much as it pained him he had to face the truth that Alex's betrothed most likely had a part in this tragedy, he would go and question her at once. "No, please stay here with Elizabeth!" Seeing that his wife was about to object he kissed her tenderly and made her sit down on their bed with gentle force. "Elizabeth, please stay here with Aurelia. I shall check Abby's room and I will bring her back to you!"

"I'm her mother! It's my right to look for her!" Elizabeth flared up.

"I know that you're her Mama. But look at you, you're I no state to do anything. I won't have you risking your well-being even more, you've endured enough. Leave this to me, my love. You trust me, don't you?" His voice sounded as gentle as ever, surprising Aurelia who had thought him to be affectionate but not capable of such tenderness.

"Trust has nothing to do with it! I want my baby, give her back to me..." She broke down in tears clinging to Darcy's hand. She didn't care if she was making a spectacle of herself, the thought of her baby somewhere else where she couldn't protect her tore her heart to pieces. Were it only for that Elizabeth might have remained her usual calm self but in addition she had to dread the effect of the missing water-treatments. The doctor had said that within a period of time he'd have to do what had to be done or else Abby might lose her entire hands or an arm! Fear crept through her, what would happen to her baby if she wasn't found in time?

Darcy sat down by her side and took her in his arms whispering soothing words. Aurelia too tried to support the suffering mother with hopeful words and gentle patting of her back. Normally it was Elizabeth showing strength, never crying or showing any fear but as a mother she was as vulnerable as every other woman if not all the more because she was the most loving Mama Darcy could imagine. Holding back his own fear with all his might he attended to her knowing that she needed him the most now and if he broke down too that would mean all hope's end to her.

"Lizzy, I will check Abby's room now. Are you going to be well with Aurelia?" he asked softly.

Elizabeth lifted her head from his chest and gave Aurelia a weak smile with tearful eyes. As he got up she fixed his eyes with her glance and, after a moment of hesitation, let go of his hand. "Come back soon, alright?" she pleaded.

"I'll be back with you as soon as I can, I promise!" Seeing that Aurelia had already seated herself next to Elizabeth he gave her another intense glance and left the room.

Before even going to his daughter's room Darcy went to Diana's bedchamber which wasn't far away from Abigail's room. After knocking politely he waited for her to ask him in, it was his hope that she was there and had nothing to do with Abby's disappearance. But no response came, not after knocking once, twice or a third time. Finally he was at his patience's end and opened the door. The room was dark and only the light scent of her perfume betrayed this to be a woman's bedchamber. After lighting some candles he noticed that Diana's bed was untouched and that a great part of her wardrobe was missing. Going through the few belongings she had left in her room he found nothing of significance but a little note on her vanity. Tearing it open he nearly ripped it in two. Reading the note and the poem she had brought to paper with much haste he couldn't help but cry out in anger and rage. The note read:

When you find this I'll be gone.
Don't follow me, there is no hope for both!
Live, my love, without me and HER!

Diana

P.S. Tell Alex that I am sorry for abandoning him! I had no choice in this!

I have been in the meadows all the day
And gathered there the nosegay that you see
Singing within myself as bird or bee
When such do field-work on a morn of May.
But, now I look upon my flowers, decay
Has met them in my hands more fatally
Because more warmly clasped,--and sobs are free
To come instead of songs. What do you say,
Sweet counsellors, dear friends ? that I should go
Back straightway to the fields and gather more ?
Another, sooth, may do it, but not I !
My heart is very tired, my strength is low,
My hands are full of blossoms plucked before,
Held dead within them till myself shall die.*

Her words, short and crystal-clear as they were, held a mystery of such dark and huge proportions that the image of it scared him. Her strange looks, her tempestuous behaviour and her enigmatic aura were topped by this last proof of an unstable mind, a mind that must have been through misery of the most horrible kind. Attempting to understand her words he could not find an explanation, there is no hope for both? Who was she referring to? Him and Abigail, her and Alex or even Abigail and Alex? Thrusting the note in his pocket he stormed out of her bedchamber and went to his son's room. Alex let him in after knocking loudly, he obviously had slept through the entire confusion.

"Father, what brings you here, it's very late!" he sounded very tired.

"On what terms did you and your betrothed part for the night?" Darcy got straight to the point.

"I don't see why this should concern you! You of all people, what is all this about?"

Darcy couldn't even be angry with him, he understood what he meant. So he continued more gently but as intense.

"Listen, Alex, I know this will be hard to take but Aurelia just informed your mother and me that Abigail is missing. I went to Miss Montgomery's room to find it empty, she has also taken most of her clothes with her..." The hurt on his son's face was even worse than her betrayal.

"What made you assume that she has anything to do with it?" Alex sounded furious.

"It was a feeling I had..." But he couldn't finish the sentence.

"Oh yes? And whatever gave you the impression that you have the right to judge the woman I love?" His eyes were blazing with fury.

"Alex, I'm not judging her but what does all this look like? Believe me, the last thing I wanted was to find out is that she has a part in all this. I wouldn't want her to be hurt or..." he broke off noticing that he was saying too much. But Alex was far too consumed by his own feelings of pain and crushed hope to notice the tenderness in his father's voice. There had to be an explanation for all this, she couldn't possibly betray him in such a horrible manner!

"Did...did she leave a note?" he asked hopefully.

Darcy's features changed from worried to compassionate, thus scaring him even more. For a moment Darcy considered denying the existence of a note but then he decided against it. The bitter truth had to be unfolded, one way or another. He took the note from his pocket and gave it to Alex. "I'm so sorry!" he added.

As Alex read the short note the colour his face changed from a worried red to a disgusted white. Tearing the note in two he glared at his father, ready to hurt him in any way possible. "May you suffer God's eternal wrath for this!" he said quietly. It was not the sort of quietness to be overheard but deadly serious and final.

"I'm so sorry..." Darcy repeated but he knew that it was hopeless. Alex was too hurt and disappointed to listen to anything.

"GET OUT!" Alex pointed to the door and, after his father had left, slammed the door shut and locked it.

Meanwhile Aurelia helped Elizabeth getting dressed and gave her as much support as she possibly could. Both women were tense and waiting for Darcy restlessly. When he finally came the look on his face was devastating. Aurelia held Elizabeth's arm lovingly.

"Elizabeth, Aurelia, I think that there is no good in keeping the truth from you. I checked Abigail's room and it all points to an abduction. Clothes are missing, among them her warm coat. Then I checked Diana's room, she is gone! I'm afraid that she has a part in this..."

"Did you tell Alex?" Aurelia blurted out.

"Yes, I did. And this is why I need you to help us, Aurelia!" Darcy admitted.

Aurelia looked surprised and stunned. "Why, what can I possibly do?"

"You know Alex so well, he trusts you completely. If anyone can get through the wall of pain and disappointment it's you. Please, will you help us?" Elizabeth too agreed that it would be best if Aurelia talked to Alex.

Aurelia felt cornered. After the wonderful moments she and Alex had shared only a few hours ago she feared for her heart if she saw him alone again, especially when he was hurting like this. It was during that harmless conversation that she had admitted to herself that she was in love with him. In love with a man far above her simple means, a man who loved someone else and a man who had never seen anything else but a companion from childhood in her. But when he had thanked her for being there for him when he needed her, her heart had been glowing with love...

"I'll do whatever I can but I can't promise anything!" she heard herself saying. Leaving the fearful parents to discuss how they would look for their daughter and how they would deal with Diana she kept thinking of the very magical moment she had just remembered. Knocking on his door she got no answer. When she knocked for a second time he told whoever it was to go away and leave him alone. Summoning all her courage she forced herself to speak.

"Alex, it's me! It's Aurie! Please let me in!"

There was no response. After a minute without any reaction Aurelia wanted to knock again but the door was opened before she could do so. Without saying a word he let her in and closed the door quietly.

Finale, Part 1 ~ The Sapphire's Blaze

Posted on Saturday, 17 January 2004

I saw thee weep---the big bright tear
Came o'er that eye of blue;
And then me thought it did appear
A violet dropping dew:
I saw thee smile---the sapphire's blaze
Beside thee ceased to shine;
It could not match the living rays
That filled that glance of thine.
As clouds from yonder sun receive
A deep and mellow dye,
Which scarce the shade of coming eve
Can banish from the sky,
Those smiles unto the moodiest mind
Their own pure joy impart;
Their sunshine leaves a glow behind
That lightens o'er the heart.
(Lord Byron)

Where true Love burns Desire is Love's pure flame;
It is the reflex of our earthly frame,
That takes its meaning from the nobler part,
And but translates the language of the heart.
(Coleridge)

It had not been an easy night for Jane Bingley who was still sitting at her father's bedside and hoping that Elizabeth would come in time. Mr. Bennet had not spoken a word for hours; he was sleeping most of the time. The times he'd be asleep became longer and longer and with each period of quietness Jane's heart sank more and more. The time was running out and there was no sign of the Darcys anywhere. She had sent an express to Pemberley but even if the poor man had had the ability of flying there would be no hope for her sister to arrive in time if she wasn't on her way already.

"Dearest, don't you think that you should rest just a little? I'll remain here with Mr. Bennet, think of the baby!" Bingley begged her but it was in vain. She wouldn't leave her father not after seeing that none of her sisters had had the compassion to be with their father in his final hours.

"I shall not leave him, Charles. Besides, if I were to lie down and you to take care of Papa, who would look after Mama? She is completely out of control already!" she reasoned.

Bingley's shoulders slumped in resignation. She was right of course. Mrs. Bennet kept making a spectacle of herself by lamenting her fate as former mistress of this house and that Charlotte Lucas would now fill this position with "that greedy wretch" Mr. Collins "who had greatly deceived her and her poor girls". It seemed that she wanted to go to Pemberley as soon as all this was over, she wasn't thinking of her husband much.

"Well, then I'll get Mama her tea and will keep her entertained. But promise me that you won't wear yourself out!" he demanded holding her by the shoulders.

"I promise!" Jane responded and returned to the task of trying to persuade her father to take just a little bit of broth. It seemed hopeless though.

The entire room seemed to be engulfed by sadness, Aurelia felt like being pushed against a wall with only her hands to break through the defense of massive bricks. She had been in Alex's room before all this but then, as a child, this room had appeared like a refuge and a wonderful hiding place. Fighting the melancholy that was oozing from the silence she followed Alex to his desk and saw him staring at a miniature portrait of his fiancé. Knowing that compassion would be too weak to reach him she grabbed the miniature and put it on the desk, face down. She had expected that he would yell at her for doing so but he remained numb like a person who had received a blow to his head and who would feel all the pain as soon as the shock had passed. Placing one hand on his shoulder she noticed the far away gaze she had seen on his father's face many times before, a gaze he would give to his wife alone. But there was nobody there to receive this glance of tenderness, nor was there anyone to respond to it.

"Alex, please look at me!" she begged while squeezing his shoulder. The face he turned to her was the same handsome face she adored but there was a dreadful air of melancholy dimming his beautiful eyes and diminishing his handsome, loveable looks. Just like Aunt Jane, Aurelia thought. He is as easily hurt as she is, I've seen this look on her face when she was telling me about the babies she has lost and buried.

"How could he do this to me?" Alex asked without expecting an answer but this question puzzled Aurelia not a little. He? Wasn't Diana the source of his grief? How come a man could dominate his thoughts at present, how could a man cause such terrible grief? Kneeling down by his side her hand went from his shoulder do his arm.

"Alex, I know I have no right to ask you this but how come you're asking about a man hurting you?"

Now he was looking at her for the very first time ever since she had entered the room. His eyes no longer had the feverish, glowing look they had had before but they were crystal clear, almost childlike. Pushing her hand away he jumped to his feet and pulled her up.

"You shouldn't kneel, there are enough chairs here!" he flared up angrily. "Of course, how can I think of anyone else except her at this time?" He laughed a shrill, eerie laugh and glared at her furiously. "Aurelia, you truly want to know what is even worse than being betrayed by the one you love?"

Refusing his offer for a chair she stood there and glared back at him. Let him be furious, let him yell at me as long as he won't go back to this dreadful place where he was out of reach for everyone. "Yes, I do! Would I ask you otherwise?" she asked through clenched teeth but with burning eyes.

His features softened immediately at her apparent grief. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her and now all he had done was just that. Precious, poor Aurie, he thought. You have no part in this at all and yet I let you suffer for it the most. Placing one hand on her arm he pulled her into a gentle embrace, his head was resting against her shoulder. He felt her stiffening at his touch but once he embraced her she mellowed and put her arms around his neck. Her arms felt so soft and kind, her shoulder was firm and her red curls smelled of lemons.... When did he ever allow himself to think of Aurie as a woman? But the proof for it was here in his arms and she didn't seem to care whether the embrace became more close and tender. Having seen her as a little girl only had made him blind for her beauty, the beauty of a lovely young girl with a kind heart and more strength than he ever could have mustered.

"Alex?" her gentle voice came from his chest.

"Yes?" he murmured not quite ready to let her go.

"You're hurting me..." She sounded like a kitten that was held too tightly.

When Abby awoke everything around her was dark and she was freezing. Looking around she couldn't make out anything and she felt fear tightening her little chest as she listened to the two people talking outside the room she was kept in.

"Have you lost your mind, girl? How could you bring this child here?" a male voice sneered.

"Hush, Papa, I beg you! This girl, his daughter is the key to him. He'll do anything to get her back, believe me!" a voice she knew very well responded.

"So you're sure that this will get him here? Don't forget, I want him alive!"

"So do I!"

"And you're definitely sure that this is the hut where he used to play with that brother of his and later on with Wickham?" the male voice sounded angry.

"That's what my mother told me before she died. She never lied to me. This has to be the place! Wickham never came here, that's at least what he told me. Papa, wait and see! He'll come!"

"Very well then, I'll give him another day. If he isn't here by then I'll go and get him!"

"You can't go to Pemberley!" her voice sounded scared.

"Why not? Are you ashamed that your father isn't such a rich, fancy gentleman like this Mr. Darcy?" He sounded angry again and when he mentioned her Papa's name Abby felt like crying.

"Of course not, you know of my feelings for him!" She sounded a little too defensive.

"You liked the fellow, huh?" the male voice grunted.

"No, he likes me and that is the best part! We'll see how soon this clever gentleman will remember why he loves me. Memories such as these don't die, even if they are from childhood!" Her voice sounded warmer here and since Abby couldn't understand her meaning she felt more secure now. Papa would come and rescue her, she knew it for sure! Even the mean lady had said so!

Elizabeth and Darcy were sitting together after Darcy had sent out an entire troop of friends and servants to look for his daughter. He wanted to join them later; he had to talk to his wife first. There was the story he had to finish and the question of how to involve Lizzy in the search. Many questions troubled him at this point; how to tell Elizabeth of Diana's note, how to tell her why Diana had left their son and how to explain to her that he himself wasn't innocent at all no matter how the matter appeared to her at present...

"Lizzy, before I go to look for Abby I need to tell you what I couldn't tell you for so long," he began. "It is most urgent and necessary..."

"More urgent than the fate of our baby?" Elizabeth wasn't listening.

"Elizabeth!" For the first time in their marriage he grabbed her shoulders forcefully and turned her around causing her to drop the clothes she had been packing for Abigail.

"William, you're hurting me!" She brushed off his hands and glared at him angrily.

"You don't want to hear me then?" The question was icy.

"No, right now I have more important things to take care of! I'll hear your story later!" Seeing him turn away in a hurt manner she went after him and held him back by the arm. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I know that the story of your childhood is most important to you and I swear that I will listen to all of it as soon as Abby is back with us. I want to hear everything about Tom and..." She stopped feeling the sudden tension of his body and seeing the whiteness of his face.

"Elizabeth, I'll be back soon! Don't leave Pemberley and wait for me here!" Thus he turned away and ran for the door. And even though he heard Elizabeth calling him back all he could hear now was one name, one simple name he had tried to forget ever since Tom died.

Rebecca!

"I'm sorry, Aurie. I didn't mean to hurt you..." He sounded most sincere.

Aurelia re-arranged the folds of her dress, her gaze had dropped to the floor. "It's alright, Alex. This wasn't our first embrace!" she attempted to jest.

"No, it wasn't... Aurie, it's Father..." his voice broke down and he enwrapped her once more in his arms; holding on to her as he had always done when they had been children.

"What are you saying? What does this mean?" Her voice was barely louder than a whisper.

"Diana... she... she never loved me. The only man she truly loves is my own father!"

Finale, Part 2 ~ Someone like you

Posted on Friday, 23 January 2004

I peer through windows,
Watch life go by,
Dream of tomorrow,
And wonder "why"?

The past is holding me,
Keeping life at bay,
I wander lost in yesterday,
Wanting to fly -
But scared to try.

But if someone like you
Found someone like me,
Then suddenly
Nothing would ever be the same!

My heart would take wing,
And I'd feel so alive -
If someone like you
Found me!

So many secrets
I've longed to share!
All I have needed
Is someone there,

To help me see a world
I've never seen before -
A love to open every door,
To set me free,
So I can soar!

If someone like you
Found someone like me,
Then suddenly
Nothing would ever be the same!

There'd be a new way to live,
A new life to love,
If someone like you
Found me!

Oh, if someone like you
Found someone like me,
Then suddenly
Nothing would ever be the same!

My heart would take wing,
And I'd feel so alive -
If someone like you
Loved me...
(Leslie Bricusse)

As the light of rising sun began to illuminate Pemberley Aurelia caught herself at dreaming more than once even though it was her task to comfort her aunt. Ever since she had left Alex's room after hearing his most alarming news all she could think of was his wretched gaze and the closeness of his embrace, a closeness which went far beyond the friendly bond they had shared for so many years. Growing up like brother and sister she had never thought it possible that she might think differently of him now, in truth she had not even considered him handsome only a year ago when the Darcys had invited her to a picnic along with the Bingleys. As a young girl of merely fifteen years she had just started putting up her hair but this simple act didn't change the world around her as she thought it would. Her fondness of collecting flowers was a strong as ever and she had discovered a new love: painting. Remembering Mr. Bingley's promise of engaging a tutor to teach her she smiled happily. The painting she was drawing in Pemberley's newly furnitured winter garden showed the entire Darcy family. Everyone was brought to life with an overwhelming love for the detail, even the chiaroscuro of silken folds and clouds seemed sizable.

"This is a lovely painting indeed, my dear!" a voice she knew very well exclaimed kindly. Jumping to her feet her brush fell out of her hand staining the white of her gown with red colour. Alex immediately picked up the brush and handed it to Aurelia.

"Thanks..." she muttered breathlessly.

"Please, remain seated. I came here to talk to you, I hope I'm not imposing upon your privacy?" He sounded very formal even though he was as pleasant as he used to be.

"No, not at all! I just came here to finish my painting. It gives me so much pleasure!" Aurelia seated herself with folded hands to avoid them from shaking.

"Aurelia, I'm here to apologise for my behaviour last night. I was not myself and clearly stretched our friendship to the limit..." There Aurelia interrupted him clearly.

"There is no reason to apologise. I only did what any friend would have done!" she tried to reason with him.

"This is just what I mean, Aurie. You always give too much of yourself and always think of everyone except yourself. It doesn't even matter if you're hurting yourself, you still won't cease giving without asking for anything in return!" His fingers played with a loose thread of one of the cushions that made the chairs more comfortable. His mother had insisted on those dark green pillows of velvet instead of anything fancy with lace with the simple reason that dark green did not offend the eye and fit well with almost any other colour.

Aurelia looked stunned, coloured and remained silent. Of course he didn't mean to hurt her but those few words had struck a vulnerable chord within her and him trying to protect her was the last thing she needed. Of course she was always willing to help in any way possible but she was thinking of herself almost as much, perhaps even too much for her own good. Despite her knowing Miss Montgomery for a short time she had disliked her from the start despite her being the woman her best friend was in love with. Being brought up by a strict but loving mother she had learned that being selfish was not right and she had always tried to followed the example of Mistress Jane. Yet she never would have wasted a thought on giving herself up completely like Jane was willing to do for her daughter.

"I believe that, except for my mother, you're the only truly kind person I've ever known..." he continued, the tenderness in his voice mortified her most vehemently. "Aurie, perhaps I should start calling you Aurelia from now on for we're no longer children. When I was suffering from heartbreak and anger you were there to bear the blame without a bitter word or a sign of resignation. Truth be told, I do feel a little better now but I cannot find it in my heart to forgive her or him. Help me, Aurelia, to see that this is wrong..." She wasn't listening anymore. Run! Run with the last bit of pride and self-esteem he has left you! her head was pounding, she felt cold and lonely.

"Alex, I'm afraid that this is not a good time for me. I'm worried about Abby and your mother needs me, I'll go and fetch her some tea.." Getting up from her chair a part of her fichu got caught somewhere and after a most embarrassing struggle he rescued her by ending it.

"I understand. Do I have your forgiveness, Aurelia?" He seemed disappointed.

"Of course you do. I will see you later and then we shall talk!" With that she literally ran from the room and didn't stop fleeing until she had reached the kitchen.

The weather would have been perfect for a ride had it not been for Darcy's fear for his daughter and the nagging truth of the entire situation. Ever since he had left Elizabeth in such a hurry his mind was going back in time and being there he liked what he saw at first. Three little boys and a sweet little girl playing by the lake, yes, Becca had always been a tomboy despite her sweet disposition. Becca he had called her, the best friend of his brother just like he had preferred George over all other boys because George understood his attitude and didn't blame him for being rather distant. They were doing everything together, playing, learning and growing up. Becca was about three years older than Darcy and there had been plans for her and Tom to get engaged as soon as they were old enough. Indeed, Darcy had married them in game-weddings and they were a sweet couple indeed...

It was a picture like childhood until disaster struck. Ever since the fishing accident Darcy couldn't forget his helplessness. Yelling for help he watched his brother struggling against the water and losing the fight more and more. Pemberley was too far away to fetch help and no matter how loud he screamed for help there was nobody to hear him. When it was all over he was never the same. He kept away from his parents and even from Becca because of the guilt and the feelings creeping through his heart when he beheld the blame and pity in the eyes of those close to him.

His mother, frozen with grief, gave birth to another child, his sister Georgiana. It was a hurtful blow to the mourning parents to have a girl fill the void of their beloved son and it was Darcy himself who started bonding with this little treasure and with time she became his only confidant and friend. Ever since the accident he couldn't face Becca and saw Wickham only occasionally. Becca's fate was never related to him and he hoped that she had found happiness with someone else. Becca, this lovely, fair girl who found more pleasure in being with the three boys than in the society of well-bred little ladies. This sweet girl had been his first tender love even though he had concealed it well. Tom had found the one to make him happy so soon, it pleased him and it saddened him because he knew that he'd never find a loving creature such as her. And that he continued to believe until she came along.

Like a warm summer's rain she invaded his world of dark memories and at first the sensation of her presence felt unwelcome until the summer's rain turned into a rainbow erasing all the dark clouds on his mind. For the first time in his life he had allowed himself to hope and breathe life again. With time he could forgive himself and leave the past behind until, on a lovely and sunny day, all this came back to him in the form of the most bewitching woman he had ever met. But now his eyes were open, her magnetism was not about her but in the past he had buried years ago. She was Rebecca's daughter, it all made sense! But what could have hurt her so much that she would use and discard people just to have her revenge? And was it her who was seeking revenge? It just did not make sense at all....

Suddenly a shot rang through the silence and before he could hold on to his horse the world turned black before his eyes.

"Auntie, please have some tea! You haven't eaten anything this morning, some tea will do you good!" Aurelia was truly concerned. Elizabeth had refused her breakfast and was overlooking the reports that kept flowing in from those searching for Abigail. Her face was ashen and her appearance stressed. Brushing off Aurelia's hand she resumed reading another report when suddenly the stomping of hooves was heard from outside. Both women flew to the window only to see Mr. Darcy's horse returning home. The saddle was empty.

A horrible taste of earth and dirt filled his mouth as he woke up but even worse than the aridness was the cutting pain in his left shoulder. Trying to move he felt ropes cutting into his wrists and ankles. Breathing heavily he opened his eyes with much effort but it took a long while to adjust to the room's darkness. It was humid and cold and except for loud footsteps there was no sound to be heard. Letting his head hang he felt a little more comfortable but his desire for water grew with every movement. Closing his eyes he fell back into the darkness until he heard the door being opened and felt a slender hand touching his wounded shoulder. Almost screaming with pain he stirred and opened his eyes to see Diana attending to his shoulder.

"Don't move so much, I can't have you losing more blood!" Her voice was harsh but her touch was gentle and light as a feather.

"Wh-what... wh-why..." His voice sounded raspy and brittle.

She smiled and after having her work done came closer until he could feel her breath on his face. "This is a good question isn't it? Don't tell me you haven't seen the truth yet?" The sad tone of her voice stood in grave contradiction to the smile on her face. With that she let him drink water out of her palms.

"Well, I know that you're Rebecca's daughter. I should have known it immediately. You have her movements, her voice and her smile...." His voice choked on the sad memories.

"Did.... did you like Mama?"

"Diana, I need to know, where is my daughter? She'll be crippled if the doctor won't take care of her soon!" he begged ardently.

Her face hardened at his question. "Always her, it's always the little princess and never..." she spat at him.

"Never what? Say it at last!"

But before she could relate everything to him her father appeared behind her pulling her away from him. He was dressed in rags and smelled of brandy, his face, which still bore a rest of former beauty, was repulsive and scarred.

"What are you two lovebirds discussing? Diana, get out of here!" he snapped pushing her towards the door.

"No, I will stay! I want to remain with him!"

"Well, then stay here. I won't make any difference! What now?" Diana was pulling him away so they could talk without being overheard. Darcy saw her making defensive gestures, it seemed that she disagreed with him about something he was going to do. When they came back her face was ashen and her eyes hard but without any sparkle.

"Well, Sir, you may wonder who I am?" the smelly man sneered.

"I know that you're Diana's father. What do you want of me and my family?"

"Your family, eh? You have yours and you just had to steal mine!" His voice grew louder with every word.

"What are you saying?"

Montgomery shook Darcy by the shoulders thus causing dreadful pains shooting through Darcy's arm.

"I was married to a woman who never forgot losing your brother and whose only hope was that you'd marry her out of pity! I took her because I found her beautiful, we had a bright future ahead until she got sick! You and your money could have saved her! She wouldn't have gotten so repulsive..." The smell of brandy was sickening.

"But you left her and your daughter to starve!" Darcy regretted his words as soon as they had passed his mouth.

"I did, didn't I?" He laughed madly. "Well, it's only fair that your family will suffer the same loss I have suffered! We'll leave your brat here but as for you..." He pulled out his pistol.

"What are you doing?"

"Damn you, Darcy, would you like to say a last prayer? Not only did you steal my wife from me but your money and fancy ways also robbed me of my daughter!"

"You're mad!" Darcy's heart was racing, he shot an intense glance at Diana who was trembling with fear. As soon as his gaze met hers she turned her back on him.

Everyone living at Pemberley was worried for their master and his little baby and when the mistress took over there was a ray of hope at last. She had her horse saddled and she was joined by Alex, Aurelia and several members of the staff. Even the inhabitants of Lambton joined them in their search and it was Elizabeth's hope that, with their help, they would find them in time.

"Mad, am I? Well, for a change it is I who has the power and not your money!"

"How does it matter? This isn't about money but about feelings!"

"And I have a feeling that I'll listen to no more of this!" Montgomery screamed raising his pistol. Seeing that the end was about to come Darcy closed his eyes and when he did the vision of Elizabeth appeared before his eyes. Her smiling over the piano, her dancing with him at Netherfield, her holding baby Alex in her arms.... Suddenly he heard someone approaching him but before he could open his eyes Montgomery pulled the trigger and the loudness of a shot once more invaded his ears.

Finale, Part 3 and Epilogue ~ A glimmer of hope

Posted on Monday, 26 January 2004

"Yes," I answered you last night;
"No," this morning, Sir, I say.
Colours seen by candlelight,
Will not look the same by day.

When the viols played their best,
Lamps above, and laughs below---
Love me sounded like a jest,
Fit for Yes or fit for No.

Call me false, or call me free---
Vow, whatever light may shine,
No man on your face shall see
Any grief for change on mine.

Yet the sin is on us both---
Time to dance is not to woo---
Wooer light makes fickle troth---
Scorn of me recoils on you.

Learn to win a lady's faith
Nobly, as the thing is high;
Bravely, as for life and death---
With a loyal gravity.

Lead her from the festive boards,
Point her to the starry skies,
Guard her, by your truthful words,
Pure from courtship's flatteries.

By your truth she shall be true---
Ever true, as wives of yore---
And her Yes, once said to you,
SHALL be Yes for evermore.

(Elizabeth Barrett Browning)

A whirlwind of black and blue exploded before his very eyes and waiting for the pain to come he couldn't tell where these colours came from. He heard Montgomery gasping with horror and when he opened his eyes again he saw a heap of white silken skirts lying at his feet. Her face was averted from him and when the truth finally emerged his head started spinning and aching. Montgomery had dropped his pistol and fell down on his knees to look at his daughter. Shaking her by the shoulders he screamed at her, totally forgetting that Darcy was in the room to hear every word.

"Have you lost your mind, woman? Hoe could you possibly do this.... I can't help you now...." Montgomery's face was red with anger and since he got no answer from his lifeless daughter he dropped her body and got up; his entire body was shaking violently.

"Go to Pemberley and fetch the doctor!" Darcy ordered.

"What? There is nothing we can do for her..." Montgomery kicked away his pistol in disgust and began to cry loudly.

"Good God, man, go and get the doctor! Say that you helped me looking for my daughter and that you found Diana and me like this! Do you want to save your child? You owe her that at least! I'll do everything in my power to help her and her family! But go now, quickly!" Darcy's voice grew louder and with each word that passed his lips his voice sounded more emotional.

For the first time Montgomery seemed to listen to what Darcy was saying and finally he obeyed. Getting up he came towards Darcy and cut the ropes around his wrists and legs. "This isn't the end, Darcy! We'll discuss this later!" With that he was out of the room leaving Darcy and Diana alone. As soon as he was gone Darcy knelt down in front of her and took her lifeless body in his arms tenderly. Seeing where the wound was there could be no doubt about the outcome and still he hoped that she might be saved. Stroking her hair off her face he saw her opening her blue eyes and giving him a weak smile. All her love was in that one smile, it felt as if his chest were tightened mercilessly. There were no words between them as long as this gentle moment lasted but Darcy had to avert his face to hide his emotions.

"Look at me!" she ordered with much authority tugging his sleeve with her fingers.

Looking at her he saw the loveliest girl he had ever seen whose mind and soul had been crushed long before being born. He was no longer capable of hating her for it was his fault that she had become what she was. If he had taken care of Becca all this might have been prevented. Now he knew the drive of her life, the desire to be his daughter and seeing her mother happy and healthy at Pemberley. Being encouraged in this by an emotionally twisted father she only got closer to the abyss of insanity instead of being loved and cherished.

"Why did you do this? I thought you hated me..." His voice was filled with emotions and with every syllable passing his lips he held her tighter.

"With you and your family I had the only moments of happiness I can remember. True, I hated you and did everything I had planned but with every day I spent in your company I felt happier. Do you think I would let him kill you knowing how I feel about you?" She raised her head and kissed him on the cheek. Turning his head to avoid the feeling of her kiss her lips landed on his and even though the moment was short he could feel her trembling violently. "And you feel the same about me, don't you?"

How was he supposed to lie to a dying woman? Yet he had to prove his loyalty to Elizabeth, for it was her whom he loved and Diana whom he cherished but no longer desired. "Diana, you know where my loyalty lies. You've seen her you've been in her company. I love my wife like no other person in the world...."

"What is so special about her?" It was a sincere question even though she looked fearful.

Darcy inhaled heavily and began to tell her what she wanted to hear. "When I met her I disliked her immediately, a feeling she returned most passionately. But I was incapable of fighting her good heart, her wit and her true kindness. When she accepted my second proposal---" Here Diana interrupted him quietly.

"You proposed to her twice? You, who is known for his pride?"

Darcy's eyes were filled with sadness as he remembered the agony from Hunsford and the long time where he had thought that she was lost to him forever. "My first proposal she rightfully rejected for reasons both true and untrue. But when she accepted me I felt like life was smiling at me at last. Through her smile I could see what wise men mean when they are talking about sublime beauty. She is good, kind and loyal and the best wife a man every had---" Once again she tugged his sleeve but much weaker than before.

"I am all those things..." she whispered.

Seeing no deceit in her blue eyes but only the most sincere belief a sob escaped Darcy's throat and he buried his anguished face in the silken folds of her dress. You could have been all those things, poor, doomed girl! If fate had smiled at you just a little bit you could have been so happy...

"No, no, don't cry about me. Can I--" She coughed violently. "Can I confess something to you?" Her eyes were heavy with agony.

He only nodded.

"I hated Abigail because I should have been your little girl... I wanted to be your pride and joy but you only loved her and not me... It was unkind..." Here she broke off and after a painful pause continued to speak. "I took care of her... the treatments and everything... So that I can give you some relief as well as pain, the frostbite is almost gone. She will keep her hands..." Seeing Darcy's face lighten up with joyful surprise she smiled weakly.

"Thank you, dearest. I knew that you have a good heart. And when you're on your feet again you will live with us at Pemberley and finally know how happy life can make you!" He tried to believe it but he knew it to be impossible. Seeing her shaking her lovely head his mind already saw all the sad years where only memories of her would remain. For a last time he buried his face in her glossy hair and indeed it had a perfume of its own. "Why did you do this? You are so young and have all your life before you... Why do you sacrifice yourself for me, the man who might have prevented all your misery but didn't do so because of cowardice?"

Kissing his cheek that rested so close to hers she smiled once more. "Who knows how my life would have been if you had taken care of me... Now in this moment I do not want to think of what might have been possible, I only want to be close to you. You made me see so much... You are not a coward, I know that much. As a child you suffered immensely, yes, I know about the boy on the "unknown painting". It's Tom, your brother. The boy my Mama was in love with. Mama only spoke well of you, please don't think of her as an ingrate. I came to love you so much! Maybe I wanted to give a reason to my life by saving you. I like you and you like me. And that is something incredibly beautiful---"

Hearing this all restraint was forgotten, throwing everything aside he kissed her ardently. Feeling her lips burning against his he buried his fingers in her shining curls and when he released her he could see her glowing with joy. Let her depart from this world happily, he thought. If she couldn't find any happiness in life let her find it in death. "Your Elizabeth is the luckiest woman in the world..." she sighed giving him another kiss presenting him her last breath.

He was unable to grieve, unable to mourn her. It was as if the world around him had stopped turning. Pressing her body against his chest he closed her blue eyes and once more pain shot through him remembering how those eyes had been able to sparkle and glow, something that was gone forevermore. A light smile graced her beautiful face, the haunted look had vanished leaving a flawless face behind. Her face was still glowing, caressing her cheek he held her close and hoped that she was happy now. But fate didn't leave him much time to accept her death. The door was pulled open and Elizabeth, Alex, Aurelia and the doctor came in quickly. Meeting Elizabeth gaze he saw her face hardening and a clammy hand grabbed his heart.

"Elizabeth! Wait!" he cried after her but she was out of the room before he could prevent her.

Storming outside Elizabeth felt physically sick and only wanted to get away from this dreadful sight. Running towards her horse she felt him behind her and indeed, before she could mount her horse he had grabbed her hand and turned her around.

"Listen to me before you condemn me!" he begged passionately.

Her face was as hard as ice. "So I can let you make a fool of me again?" She didn't move at all.

Holding her by her shoulders he wanted to draw her in an embrace but she struggled against him most violently. "I never intended to hurt you, you are my everything!"

"What if she had lived?" The question came like a bullet.

"I chose you! It has always been you!" Once more he held her by the shoulders but she fought herself free pushing him away violently.

"How am I supposed to know for sure?" Her shoulders dropped and tears came to her eyes.

"I never wanted anything to happen between her and me. It is a story deeply buried in my past..." She stretched out her arm and touched his chest, feeling his heartbeat.

"In here something happened..." she concluded wisely and turned her back on him.

"Please do not despise me, let me explain..." Seeing her turn back the look on her face made him freeze with pain. She didn't look angry anymore but deeply wounded and sad. He had never seen her this way before.

"I do not despise you! You-you hurt me! Don't you see, haven't you comprehended my nature at all? For me the hardest thing to do is to trust someone completely. Yes, I am entrusted with many secrets but I barely give myself away except for you. For the love I had for you I entrusted you with everything I am. Understand me, I cannot be with you now!" Her eyes were filled with tears as she spoke but there was no way to dissuade her once she had decided her course of action.

"Elizabeth, this can't be all you want to say! I-I can't imagine my life without you!" Grabbing her arms once more he continued most intensely. "I can't live without those arms, you sweet face, your good heart..." Drawing her into a passionate embrace he touched her curls with his lips and held her close, not willing to let go.

"This isn't the end but I need time and distance. I shall go to Longbourn and see my father. I'll take Abigail with me...." She broke off saying her daughter's name, her lips began to quiver.

"Abby is fine, Lizzy. The frostbite is almost gone. I'm sure the doctor is already taking care of her. As for you going to your father's house I think this is the ideal solution. I will look after Alex and the boys and Aurelia will help me. Please give my best regards to Mr. Bennet and to everyone at Longbourn." He sounded empty and burned out, there was nothing he could do except accepting her decision and hoping that she would return to him as soon as she found it in her heart to forgive him.

"William, before I'll leave I want you to tell me the entire story of your past. I owe you this and no matter how much you hurt me, I want to know how it could possibly have come to this---"

He kissed her hand gently, his heart was too full to thank her with words. There was a glimmer of hope and no matter how far it seemed he would do all in his power to make it come true.

Epilogue

She was a phantom of delight
When first she gleamed upon my sight;
A lovely Apparition, sent
To be a moment's ornament;
Her eyes as stars of Twilight fair;
Like Twilight's, too, her dusky hair;
But all things else about her drawn
From May-time and the cheerful Dawn;
A dancing Shape, an Image gay,
To haunt, to startle, and way-lay.

I saw her upon a nearer view,
A Spirit, yet a Woman too!
Her household motions light and free,
And steps of virgin liberty;
A countenance in which did meet
Sweet records, promises as sweet;
A Creature not too bright or good
For human nature's daily food;
For transient sorrows, simple wiles,
Praise, blame, love, kisses, tears and smiles.

And now I see with eye serene
The very pulse of the machine;
A Being breathing thoughtful breath,
A Traveller between life and death;
The reason firm, the temperate will,
Endurance, foresight, strength, and skill;
A perfect Woman, nobly planned,
To warm, to comfort, and command;
And yet a Spirit still, and bright,
With something of angelic light.
(Wordsworth)

Three years later

It was the sunlight of yet another lovely summer's day awakening Darcy and his wife, a day that was filled with memories, happy and sad they were, and yet a day to celebrate a happy event. When Darcy opened his eyes to see Elizabeth by his side he thanked God for His kindness to give her back to him. Remembering how she had left for Longbourn his heart still ached even though they didn't part on bad terms. **After having related the entire story of his past to her he had led her to the "unknown painting" and revealed its identity at least. It was the only image of Tom, the brother he had lost so long ago.

"William, it's good to know the truth at last. To be entirely truthful, I hope that this will help us to carry our burdens together. We're more alike than you think, my dearest, because for both of us it is most difficult to trust someone else and to open our hearts even to those we love. No matter how much you have hurt me I want us to remain together and never quit trying to share everything. I shall not leave you in anger and I will not be away from you for long but I need time to think and I have to see my parents." She held his hand affectionately; there was no more blame and no more bitterness in her voice. All secrets had been thrust aside and all that was left now was the love.

Seeing her depart his heart went with her and he prayed that happiness would soon return to Pemberley. Knowing his duty he made his way to the cemetery and found Alex by Diana's grave. His son appeared troubled but there was no anger in his countenance when he beheld his father coming closer. Fresh flowers decked the new grave and the marble stone shone in innocent white. Alex had chosen a poem to recall Diana's being on this earth and Darcy felt that he himself could not have chosen better. The poem was written in golden letters, it read:

What though Death at times steps in
And calls our Best away ?
What though sorrow seems to win,
O'er hope, a heavy sway ?
Yet hope again elastic springs,
Unconquered, though she fell;
Still buoyant are her golden wings,
Still strong to bear us well.
Manfully, fearlessly,
The day of trial bear,
For gloriously, victoriously,
Can courage quell despair !*

For a moment both men said nothing just supporting each other in grief and mourning until Alex found the words he had been looking for ever since discovering the truth about Diana and his own feelings. Putting one hand on his father's arm he gave him an apologetic look only to be drawn into a loving embrace by his father.

"What I said back then, I didn't mean it. I was raging with grief and a broken heart but this didn't give me the right to say the words I said. I'm deeply ashamed, Father, and I hope that you'll find it in your heart to forgive me..." Here his relation to his aunt Jane became most apparent for it was just like him to take all the blame on his shoulders but Darcy wouldn't let him this time.

"My son, you are not to blame. You were in love and I did you much wrong by not telling you everything I knew or how I felt!" He embraced him once more. "It was through my severity and wrongly applied discretion that this came about, you had no hand in this. It taught me to be a better father and I will not have you taking all the blame on your shoulders for something you did not do!"

"You know, this is just what Aurie said to me recently..." Alex mused, smiling while thinking of his confidant and friend.

Darcy smiled at his son. "Aurelia is right. She's a very bright young girl and she is a good friend to you!" Darcy gave voice to his feelings.

"I too am very fond of her but we both agreed that it is too soon for us and that both of us have to heal first. She is very understanding and kind..."

"This is very well said and very wise. I'm glad that you see it that way. Come now, lets go home!" Both men smiled at each other and made their way back to the house arm in arm.**

And today they would celebrate Alex's and Aurelia's wedding day. After about two years of quiet courtship Alex had offered her his hand in marriage and she had accepted him happily. Both of them had been through heartache and pain and by being there for each other their bond had grown and matured into a love that was more than adoration and desire. Of course Alex would never forget about Diana just like his father wouldn't but Aurelia was his future and the love of his life just like his adorable Mama was his father's everything. The day started happily with Abby cooing about throwing flowers at the wedding and a sweet kiss from his wife. Remembering her at her father's funeral he held her tighter swearing that he'd never ever let anyone hurt her again. Miraculously she had come in time and after spending a short loving time with her Papa he had surrendered life gracefully and Elizabeth no longer felt terrible for coming so late. They had met at the funeral for the first time after the Diana-affair and both remembered another quiet funeral and the arrest of Diana's father who had been sent to an institution that promised to take good care of him.

When Abigail and Elizabeth came home to Pemberley life went on quietly. Aurelia went home to Tysworth Hall taking some of the Darcy children with her and a few months later a happy event was celebrated among the Bingleys and their loved ones. Jane was delivered of twins, a beautiful girl and a strong boy. The childbirth had been hard but everyone involved was thriving more and more with each passing day. The girl was called Emily Elizabeth and the boy was named Charles William. God had smiled at the little Bingley family and each of them thanked the Lord most fervently.

With time Elizabeth and Darcy resumed their life as a married couple but more loving and more understanding than ever. Time had healed their wounds for it didn't take anything melodramatic to happen to show them how they were meant for each other. There had been enough drama in their lives so that they valued peace and tranquility for what it was instead of hoping for adventures and excitement. The act of forgiveness had finally happened and their relationship had grown through it.

Remaining in bed just a little while longer Elizabeth and Darcy communicated without words. Sweet kisses and tender caresses led to a most passionate embrace. Overwhelmed by the beauty of his lovely wife Darcy couldn't help but be amazed at her ability to enthrall him but now he didn't have to ask anymore for time had given him the proper answer. Stroking her wild curls he breathed in her natural scent and kissed her on the forehead, something he only did in the most tender moments.

"I know it now, my love..." He smiled at her.

"You know what?" She gazed at him adoringly.

"How you keep me under your spell, of course!" Darcy's hand went to her waist.

"So? How do I do it?" Her eyes were sparkling.

"There is no spell. It's you!"

"What?"

"You are in no need of spells or magic to keep me loving you. You do it just by being you..." Saying that he stroked her hair back behind her ear. Seeing tears of movement blinking in her eyes he wiped them away. "See, I vowed never to make you cry again... I guess I'm not really good at that..." He smiled at her.

Elizabeth pressed her head against his chest and put her arms around him holding on to him passionately. "No, no, you know that these are tears of happiness... Did you know that I never cried because I was so happy? You are good at making me happy, my love!"

Hearing that he kissed away her tears softly.

"I have something I want to tell you and if I won't do it now I fear my courage will desert me...." He took a deep breath and continued. "You make me happier than I ever thought I could be. And if you let me I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way!”

Before attending his son's wedding Darcy's way once more led him to the cemetery to put flowers on Diana's grave for the last time. He had chosen white roses for their last farewell. Seeing Alex by the grave he asked him if his presence would be welcome and after being told that he was welcome they both put down the white roses on the grave. After saying a silent prayer both men remembered how this entire tragedy had made their bond even stronger and how much closer they were now. Neither of them would forget this woman and both of them hoped that she was happy now. Finally they were able to turn away and leave the grave to go to church where a bright future awaited them. Indeed her spirit was free now and smiled down at the loving couple exchanging their vows. They had been through misery of the hardest kind to find each other and now celebrated this love among those who were close to them. The spirit soared above in heaven where there is no more grief and pain. She too had found peace at last.

~~The End~~

*Charlotte Brontë