Section I, Next Section
Chapter One
Posted on Monday, 26 January 2004
Imagine his shock when Will barged into his office with a briefcase in one hand, and a cradle containing a bawling infant in the other, expecting to find his trusted secretary Mrs. Reynolds, only to encounter a young woman in her mid-twenties. That was about all he noticed about her before he barked, “Where’s Mrs. Reynolds?”
The woman followed him into the private part of his office, answering him, “She had a family emergency and had to leave for a while. We tried calling you all morning and last night.”
“Family emergency??” he practically yelled. “I’m having a family emergency!”
He didn’t take note of the look on the woman’s face as he said this, and only later did he realize that this probably sounded very selfish.
“I can only apologise for Mrs. Reynolds. She asked me specifically to fill in during her absence.”
They had to speak at a considerably louder volume to compensate for the distressing cries of the infant. William glared at the baby. She had to be taken care of first.
“Do you know anything about babies?” he asked, abruptly.
She didn’t look surprised at the question. “A little. My older sister has a seven-month-old.”
“Can you…” he waved his hand at the crib. “Can you make her stop crying?”
“What’s wrong with her?” the woman asked him, walking over to the baby.
He looked at her incredulously. Then, realizing she expected an answer, said, “How am I supposed to know?”
“Well you are her father, are you not?”
“So?”
The woman didn’t deign this query with an answer, and instead gently lifted the infant. “Oh!” she cooed. “What’s wrong? Are you hungry? Has your daddy fed you?”
Will watched in bewilderment. What was she talking to the baby for??
She turned to him, cradling the baby as if it belonged in her arms, and asked, “Do you have any diapers?”
“Here?” he asked, looking around at the expensively furnished executive office, with its polished wooden desk, file cabinets, and stiff leather chairs.
“Yes, here. In a bag you brought from home perhaps?”
“No.”
She closed her eyes in what looked suspiciously like she was trying to be patient, as if she was controlling a tirade. “I think she has a dirty diaper. When was the last time you fed her?”
“When she woke me up at the crack of dawn.”
“Did you bring the bottle?”
“No.”
“Mr. Darcy! Don’t you know anything about caring for a baby?”
“As you can see, I’m kind of out of practice,” he replied sarcastically.
“Why have you even brought her to the office? This is no place for an infant!”
“Don’t you think I know that?” he snapped.
She looked coldly back at him, still trying to soothe the baby.
“What’s your name?” he asked her suddenly.
“Elizabeth Bennet.”
“Well, Ms. Bennet, since Mrs. Reynolds has hired you to take her place, I have no choice but to trust you. My wife left me this morning, leaving me with her,” he pointed at his daughter. While he normally kept his private life strictly separated from the office, several sleepless nights had resulted in desperation and an extremely short temper.
“Does she have a name?”
“Of course she does.”
After a pause, Elizabeth rolled her eyes and said, “And that name is…?”
“Georgiana.”
“You need to go buy some diapers, a bottle, some baby formula, and a blanket. What else? A pacifier? Or can you only give those to older babies?”
Will guessed correctly that she didn’t expect him to answer. He had proven his ineptitude enough already.
“Come on, then,” she said.
“What? Where are we going?”
“To buy the necessary things you should already have for your daughter.”
“You can get them, can’t you? Here,” he pulled out his wallet and took a hundred dollar bill out of it.
“No, no. You must come with me.”
“Excuse me?” bewilderment yet again.
“You need to know how to do this the next time you go.”
“Do what?”
“Buy diapers and formula.”
“I have work to do here.”
“Mr. Darcy,” she said, turning to confront him. “I would like to stress the fact right now… from the beginning… that your primary duty in life as of today is to care for your daughter. Everything takes second place to her. Do I make myself clear?”
Her striking green eyes snapped at him as he said, “Perfectly.”
“In that case, you can start by carrying her.”
“Oh no, no, no. I don’t know how-”
Elizabeth handed Georgiana, who was still crying, to Will. He gingerly took her in his large hands. When after a moment he still had her in his outstretched hands and was looking at her fearfully, Elizabeth said, “Cradle her in the crook of your arms.”
“What if I break her?”
“You won’t. Well, it’s possible, but as long as you are gentle, you shouldn’t.”
“But what if I drop her?”
“When was the last time you dropped something and broke it?”
“Last week.”
“Oh. Well, just don’t drop her.”
Will wasn’t at all comforted by her advice. And one could hardly call it advice. He was horribly afraid of hurting his daughter.
Elizabeth led the way to the elevator, and Will hesitantly followed, moving slowly and carefully so as not to drop his fragile burden.
When they were in the elevator, Will remarked, “I wish she would stop crying.”
“Crying is how babies communicate. It tells us that she needs something, whether it’s food, a clean diaper, sleep, or attention.”
“Is she always going to be crying then?”
“Not when she’s asleep.”
“I really don’t think I can handle this.”
“It doesn’t matter what you think you can handle. Unless you’re planning to put her up for adoption, you’re going to have to handle this.”
“I’ve decided I don’t like you.”
She laughed. “Why? Because I’m telling you the truth?”
“Yes.”
Will was comforted in knowing that she knew he didn’t mean it. He got a sense of her compassion for the first time, and it warmed him a little. He needed all the allies he could get.
They walked to a nearby store, and Elizabeth grabbed a basket. She led them to the baby aisle.
Elizabeth turned to him and asked, “Now. Which one do you get?”
Overwhelmed by the sheer number of different kinds of diapers, Will looked back at her as if she were crazy to ask him. Realizing she wasn’t going to help him out, he started examining the product labels. One said they were for toddlers, with the picture of a toddler on the front. Hmm. He knew those wouldn’t be right. He moved to a different stack. They said Large. Will looked at his daughter. No one could call her large. He moved on. Finally he found one that said Newborns. At two weeks old, Will thought Georgiana would still count as a newborn.
“This one?” he asked.
“Sure. Put it in the basket.”
“I can carry the basket,” he said.
“You’re carrying the baby,” she replied sternly. “Go and pick out some baby wipes.”
That should be easier. How many different kinds of baby wipes could there be? Will walked over to where they were and stopped, stunned. Ultra thick ones, natural ones, scented, unscented or lightly scented ones, with vitamin E and Aloe or without, flushable ones, soft ones, big ones… so maybe he was wrong.
“Mr. Darcy,” he heard her call. “Just pick some!”
He was brought back to the situation. He decided on big, soft, scented, flushable baby wipes. He gave them to her.
She tossed them into her basket, but then suddenly vanished. He turned around, clutching Georgiana to his body. He saw her heading down the aisle calling out to a lady walking past. Will watched as she spoke to the lady wearing the store’s uniform. He saw her gesture at him, and he produced a half-smile at the lady. The lady laughed and nodded, pointing to her left. Elizabeth thanked her and then beckoned him.
As Elizabeth led the way to the back of the store she said, “I asked if we could change her diaper here and then pay for the things. She was a nice lady.”
Will just figured he looked such a pathetic sight with a bawling infant in his arms that the lady could hardly refuse.
Elizabeth led the way toward the restrooms.
“Hang on,” Will said.
“What?”
“I can’t go in the ladies’ restroom.”
“There isn’t going to be a changing table in the men’s restroom. Come on. No one will be in there.”
His face becoming hot, Will said, “Check first.”
Elizabeth sighed in exasperation, stuck her in head in the door. “Hello? Anyone here? Nope. Come on.”
Will followed her into the restroom.
“Ok. First, you pull down the baby changing table. Um… why don’t we wipe the table with one of the baby wipes just in case.” She opened the baby wipes and cleaned the table. “Now, lay her down on the table. Take off the diaper.”
Will undid the fastenings on the side of the diaper and pulled it down tremulously. Inside, there was a large damp spot. His nose wrinkled in distaste. He turned his face away saying, “What am I supposed to do now?”
“Take off the diaper and throw it away. Roll it up a bit, too.”
“What?”
Grimacing, he did as he was told, and then looked at the crying infant. He wished she would just stop crying. His head was beginning to ache.
“Now use the baby wipes to wipe her bottom.”
Will was about to protest again, but decided it wasn’t wise. He clumsily managed to wiped her. Mentally, he was thinking of all the horrible things he would do to Caroline if he ever saw her again.
“Put the new diaper on her and you’re all set.”
Will took out a new, clean diaper and stared at it. He opened it up, then paused, unsure how to get it on her.
Elizabeth saw him hesitate. She said, “Pick up the baby by her feet.”
“Won’t that hurt her?”
“No.”
Hoisting the baby up, Will put the diaper beneath her. Then he put Georgiana on top of the diaper. Somehow, he knew these flaps were supposed to form a nice envelope. But he didn’t know how. Elizabeth mutely reached over and showed him how it was supposed to go, explaining how the cartoons were always supposed to be on her stomach. Finally, the diaper was securely on the baby.
She was still crying. Why was she still crying? “Why is she still crying?” asked Will.
“She’s hungry.”
Will groaned.
“Come on. Pick her up. No, wash your hands first.”
As he was washing his hands thoroughly, Will suddenly paused in soaping them, looking down at the wedding band on his fourth finger. He rinsed his hands and dried them. He looked at the wedding band again, but decided to leave it on for now.
He gingerly picked up Georgiana. He was starting to get the hang of it. He followed Elizabeth out of the bathroom. “Once we get some food we will have all the essentials you need for now.”
“What else should I be getting?”
“You’ll need a bag for the stuff you have to carry around for her. You’ll need a blanket. Toys. I assume you have clothes?”
Will closed his eyes. He had absolutely no idea how he was going to survive this.
Elizabeth showed him the formula he should get. Ready-to-feed solution was more expensive, but he could more than afford it and he didn’t like the idea of waiting longer before feeding the baby. She chose a temporary bottle to last until they could get some nicer ones.
Finally, they went to pay for the items.
“Can we feed her now?” asked Will, hoping to stop the poor babe’s cries.
“It’s better to wait until we get back to the office.”
Will bowed to her better judgment, and then hurried back to the office building. While they were in the elevator, he asked, “What if she’s sick?”
“She shouldn’t be, but if she is, then you just take her to a pediatrician.”
While walking through the office floor, the front receptionist stopped him exclaiming, “Oh! Is that your baby daughter? You two must be very proud. She’s such a cute baby!”
Will flushed and said, “You’re mistaken. She’s not my wife. She’s filling in for Mrs. Reynolds.”
“Ah,” the poor woman said, embarrassed at her faux pas. She should have known it wouldn’t be Mrs. Darcy since she would never come to the office with her husband. “I see. Well, it’s nice to have you here for a little while Ms. …?”
“Elizabeth Bennet,” Will supplied. He caught the surprised look on Elizabeth’s face. What? Did she not expect him to remember her name? It was one of his few natural talents.
As they walked down the quiet corridors to his office, Will felt eyes peering out of office doorways, watching him with the loud infant.
Will explained to Elizabeth, “Caroline never came into the office.”
“Oh.”
They made it to his office and Elizabeth directed him to sit down. He sat, holding Georgiana in his hands.
Elizabeth turned on the coffee maker in his office.
“What are you doing?” he asked in bewilderment.
“The formula is best at body temperature, but it’s not a good idea to put it in the microwave. It doesn’t get thoroughly heated that way. I’m not entirely sure why you can’t do it, but my sister just never let me. And since you don’t have a stove, I had the idea of immersing the bottle in hot water. It’s better than being cold.”
Will just shook his head and directed his attention to his daughter. Seeing her so upset distressed him deeply. He silently urged Elizabeth to hurry.
The wait allowed him the first opportunity to really study his temporary assistant. She wasn’t thin by any means. Not like Caroline – who had always maintained a positively bony frame. One of the reasons why she’d had a difficult pregnancy. Elizabeth had the body that had once been considered beautiful in the ancient civilizations of the Greeks and Romans. She was dressed conservatively in a pants suit that still flattered her. She looked professional but pleasant. Her light brown curls were pulled casually into a bun on the top of her head, and dainty, silver earrings dangled from her earlobes. She was staring absentmindedly out of the windows of his office, waiting for the bottle to warm up. How she could be off in her own world while this baby was crying her lungs out was beyond him.
Suddenly, she seemed to be aware of him watching her. She turned and checked the bottle. He watched her dab a drop of the formula onto her wrist. She explained as she did so, “You can tell it’s warm enough if you drop some on your wrist and you can’t feel it. That means it’s at the right temperature.”
She brought the prepared bottle over to him. He almost shrank back in fear of what he dreaded. He didn’t think he could do this. Carrying Georgiana was one thing. But feeding her was another. He suddenly wished heartily that he had gone to some of those parenting classes Mrs. Reynolds kept nagging him about. But Caroline was supposed to have been caring for the baby. He was too busy to go to classes on stuff she was supposed to know how to do.
Elizabeth was waiting patiently for him to take the bottle.
Will took it. “How do I hold her?”
“Like you’re doing is fine. Now, we want to make sure she eats about two ounces. Very gently place the nipple of the bottle on her lips and let her take it. She’s so hungry you shouldn’t have a problem. Then just let her drink as much as she wants. Midway through, it’ll be a good idea to burp her.”
“Burp her?”
“From suckling, she’ll get air in her stomach. Babies’ systems aren’t developed enough to burp on their own, so you need to do it for her.”
“What if I don’t?”
“Georgiana will be very uncomfortable with the air in her stomach, she’ll be very cranky, probably cry a lot, and may even get colic.”
“Okay. So I’ll burp her. How do I do it?”
“Let her start eating first,” Elizabeth directed.
Timidly, Will placed the nipple of the bottle near Georgiana’s tiny mouth. Almost immediately, she took it into her mouth and began sucking.
“Don’t squeeze the bottle. Just let her suck.”
Will hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath until a gentle hand rested on his shoulder and Elizabeth said with a small, understanding smile, “It’s okay. You can breathe now.”
Will gazed into her bright green eyes, mesmerized by their extraordinary warmth and tinged with sarcasm from her wry smile. Will’s mouth lifted slightly in reply, before looking down at his darling daughter in his arms, now peacefully eating her fill.
“So… how do I burp her?”
“There are different methods, but I always saw Jane lay her baby on her shoulder and pat her back.”
“Ok. I think.”
“Mr. Darcy, you’re doing just fine,” she assured him fervently. “Yes, you’re new at this. Yes, this will be a scary experience, but you’ll pull through. Just nurture the bond between you and Georgiana. It’ll be the most precious thing in your life before you know it.”
And somehow, for some reason, he believed her. He took her words to heart, and took comfort in them.
Will wasn’t able to get much work done that day. Only when Georgiana finally fell asleep in his arms was he free. But even then, he had to work with one arm free and the other holding Georgiana as carefully as possible so as not to waken her. He had to find backup help. There was absolutely no way that he was going to be able to handle this child on his own. Flipping through his address book, he realized exactly how few people he knew who would come to his aide. They were all Caroline’s friends. He’d never warmed to them. Yes, he saw them often at cocktail parties and yes, he did business with a lot of them, but he couldn’t imagine and didn’t expect any of them to actually help out of the goodness of their hearts. Nevertheless, he tried. He called, he explained a little, he begged, he pleaded, and he came up with nothing. People were too busy, they had troubles of their own, they didn’t know how to help him, they didn’t know anything about babies … etc.
By the end of the day, Will was starting to panic at the thought of taking Georgiana home with him and having to care for her all on his own. He didn’t know what to do or how to do it.
He called Elizabeth into his office. As she stood expectantly before him, he realized how difficult it would be to ask her to come with him and care for Georgiana, especially after she had made it clear that he was the one responsible for her.
“I’d like you to seriously consider what I am going to ask you. I ask for Georgiana’s sake, not just my own.”
She already looked suspicious.
“As you have seen, I know nothing about how to take care of her. Therefore, I am asking you to come home with me and help.”
“Go home with you?” she asked, a tad too incredulously for his liking.
“That was what I was thinking, yes. We could drive by where you live and pick up whatever you need. I have several guest rooms you can stay in. I just… I just need help to get through this. I don’t have a mother or sister or even a female friend that could help me. Believe me, I would not ask you if I were not desperate.”
“I cannot believe you don’t have some friends who could help you out,” she replied skeptically.
“I associated with Caroline’s friends, and none of them would or could help.”
“Why are you trusting your daughter to the care of a complete stranger?”
“Because I have the best letter of recommendation I have ever received from Mrs. Reynolds. She basically implies she would trust you with her own granddaughter.”
“She sent you a letter about me?” asked Elizabeth, somewhat surprised.
“Well, an email, yes. She knew I wouldn’t like having just anyone as my secretary, and especially in my … current circumstances.”
“She knows you well, eh?”
“Only too well,” replied Will with chagrin.
Elizabeth sat down in the chair in front of his desk and looked like she was thinking about the idea. He nearly pleaded with her to say yes, but at that moment, Georgiana chose to wake up and begin to cry.
That decided her. Will could tell from the look on her face.
She stood up and walked over to turn on the coffee maker to heat up the water for the bottle.
“How do you know I don’t live with someone?”
“I don’t. I’m not asking you to move in with me. I’m just asking that you help me. I’ll pay you a salary.”
“All right, I’ll do it.”
“Good. Shall we leave in forty minutes?”
She nodded.
“Where do you live?”
She told him of an area of town that was relatively on the way to his house. He lived in the wealthy district with manicured gardens and gated communities.
“I assume that there are diapers, food, and a crib at home for this baby?”
“Yes, of course.”
Elizabeth sighed in exasperation, but he didn’t know why. He was a bit annoyed at her high and mighty attitude. Well how was he supposed to know how to take care of a baby? He was a man! This was supposed to be the mother’s duty. Once again, he cursed Caroline for leaving.
Half an hour later, Elizabeth followed him down to the underground car park where they got into his Audi.
“Where’s the carseat?” she asked.
“What carseat?”
“Mr. Darcy! Do not tell me you don’t have any means of carrying her in the car!” She was visibly horrified and it made Will wonder what he had done.
“There isn’t one.”
“We are getting one now,” she said in a no-nonsense tone of voice.
Okay. He wasn’t sure he liked being bossed around like this, especially by his secretary. Mrs. Reynolds at least had the decency to be subtle about it.
Elizabeth got in and held Georgiana in her lap. As he got in the driver’s seat, Elizabeth said, “You better drive carefully because if we’re in an accident, your daughter will most likely be killed.”
The full weight of the situation suddenly settled on Will’s shoulders. He looked at Georgiana’s tiny face. She yawned, opening her tiny, toothless mouth and squinting her precious blue eyes, her small fists clenched in the air. In his heart, he felt a well of emotion he couldn’t describe. This was his daughter. He had to take care of her. And with these emotions came a firm resolve. A resolve to be the best father the child could have.
To accomplish this, he would have to be very humble, and learn how to care for her. Even if it meant bowing to Elizabeth’s domineering will.
At the first likely store, they pulled in and bought a carseat for Georgiana to travel in. Elizabeth refused to show him how to put the seat in the car, and stood back, holding the baby in her arms as she watched Will read the instructions and fiddle with buckles and straps and Velcro. He knew she was amused at his attempts, and his ears burned red with embarrassment at his ineptitude. But finally he had it right, and Elizabeth handed him Georgiana to be nestled in the protective seat.
Elizabeth sat in the tiny backseat of the Audi and was generally silent, looking contentedly out of the window.
Feeling obligated to make some conversation with her, Will said, “I, uh, I really appreciate your helping me out like this.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Where did you go to school?”
“I got my BA in Sociology from Principia College and my Masters in Human Resources at Duke University.”
“Oh! That’s nice.”
Will honestly felt at a complete loss for words. He hated feeling like this. Time was, he would have easily chatted her up like the charming man he had been. But since his marriage to Caroline, he had obviously lost that talent.
“Tell me more about your company,” Elizabeth eventually said. “I would have asked earlier, but you were a bit preoccupied. I only know a little from what Mrs. Reynolds said. You sell online software, right?”
“Sort of. The company designs and sells software which enables colleges and universities to have online applications. This means you fill in all the forms and attach the resumes and the personal statements all online. We also do software that allows students to complete financial aid documents online.”
“That makes sense. How many customers do you have left?”
“Well, most of the large universities have either developed their own or bought someone’s. But quite a few smaller institutions haven’t converted yet. We’re trying to convince them to buy our software. Often it’s too much of an initial expense for them. And then there’s a burgeoning overseas market. I have a few representatives in the UK at the moment. The University of Manchester has bought our software already.”
“So how many people work for you?”
“There’s a sales department of about 20 people, a research and development division of 15, marketing department of 6… maybe 7, I’ve forgotten. And then our customer service desk has 4 rotating people. Then there’s some of the office staff and upper management, our human resources person, and our two accountants.”
Elizabeth nodded, impressed.
Will pulled up to her apartment.
“You can come up if you like,” she said.
So taking Georgiana out of her carrier seat, he followed her through the front door and up four flights of stairs. He had a hard time suppressing his panting, hoping it wasn’t audible to Elizabeth. He chided himself that he really needed to get back into shape.
They walked into her small apartment. It would be what Caroline called an unsophisticated pigsty. What would Will call it? Um, he’d probably just call it a pigsty. And yet, Elizabeth didn’t seem that embarrassed. She just picked her way through the piles of clothes by the laundry room door, the stacks of books and the grocery bags full of newspapers that needed to be recycled.
“Have a seat and make yourself comfortable,” she called out as she went into her bedroom.
Will settled down gingerly in an armchair, after removing the afghan and tossing it onto the sofa which was covered with movies, as if she had started to organize them and got distracted.
He was impressed. This armchair was really comfortable. He relaxed, sinking into it and snuggling Georgiana in the crook of his arm. She was asleep, thankfully. He looked down at her, and gently stroked her oh-so-soft skin. She was perfect, he thought – absolutely perfect. Again, those emotions tugged at his heartstrings. He smiled in spite of himself. Her fair hair was so fine and delicate. Her whole body was delicate. He found that he had lost some of the fear he had had earlier in holding her. How could anyone not love this little bundle, he wondered. How could Caroline have left her like that?
Then, to his consternation, Georgiana began to waken. He tried imitating what he had seen some women do on television. He bounced her up and down, but discovered it only proceeded to wake her up more. She opened her eyes and stared at him with those clear blue eyes. And… she didn’t cry!! She just looked at him in fascination and wonder. Will matched her feelings, gazing down at his daughter in awe. This was a tiny life in his hands. And someday she would turn into a little girl and then an older girl, and then a young lady and then a fully grown woman. Will’s mind boggled. He couldn’t comprehend this little being someday becoming a grown woman.
He was startled by a flash and looked up to see Elizabeth calmly putting her camera on a bookshelf. “What was that for?”
“Well you two looked so cute together, I couldn’t give up the opportunity. I’m ready.”
Will looked down at Georgiana regretfully. She was still looking at him, her eyes darting about, studying everything about him. What was she thinking? He wondered.
“We can stay here until she starts crying or falls asleep again,” Elizabeth pointed out.
“No, we should get home. The sooner she’s in her crib, the sooner I can relax.”
Elizabeth chuckled as she followed Will out of the messy apartment. “You think the work stops once she’s in the crib?”
She locked the door behind her and then followed him down the stairs.
“Well, a small respite.”
Will secured her in the car seat and they drove off towards his home.
“Mr. Darcy?” Elizabeth asked.
“If you’re going to spend the night, don’t you think it would be better if you called me Will? You can leave the Mr. Darcy stuff for the office.”
“If you like. I was going to ask if you had some food prepared at home or if you wanted to pick up something along the way.”
Ooh. She was good. He tossed her his mobile phone and said, “There’s a Chinese restaurant in my phonebook. Call them and ask for my usual. We can pick it up on the way.”
She looked surprised as if she hadn’t expected him to act so decisively.
He added, “That is, if you like Chinese. We could get Thai or Indian if you want.”
“Don’t you ever eat pizza?”
“Uh… my wife didn’t like it.” It was too rustic for her taste.
“Oh. Chinese is fine.”
She called the restaurant and, in her secretarial, business-like voice asked for Mr. Darcy’s “usual”. She hung up and said, “It’ll be ten minutes.” After a pause she asked, “Don’t you ever try anything new?”
“Occasionally, but when you don’t have a menu handy, it’s nice to have a standard that they know of. Saves hassle.”
They stopped by the restaurant and Elizabeth went in to pay and pick it up. She got back in the car and in five minutes they were pulling up the drive of his large home. He didn’t like it that much. It was more Caroline’s taste than his. The garage door opened automatically and Will drove into it. Then he turned off the engine and got out. He picked up Georgiana and took her into the house through the side garage door. Elizabeth followed him with the food.
“Where should I put her?” he asked Elizabeth, looking around at the pristinely clean and sparse kitchen.
Elizabeth laughed. “How should I know? It’s your house!”
He sighed in frustration. “Well do I put her in a chair or on the floor?”
“Just hold onto her for a little more. You can feed her and then change her diaper and put her to bed.”
He groaned. He already hated changing her diaper.
Elizabeth brought in the rest of her things and shut the door.
“Where is the baby formula kept?”
“I’m not sure. Check the fridge and all the cupboards.” Will sat down as Georgiana began to wail. “Nooo! Don’t cry,” he pleaded.
He sat back, resigning himself to the ordeal.
Chapter Two
Posted on Saturday, 7 February 2004
Later, after Georgiana was in bed, Will had the chance to show Elizabeth to her room. “Make yourself at home.”
The room was fashionable, but hardly homey. It was the best he could offer, though. The two other guest rooms were worse.
“Thanks.”
He left her to settle in and went to check on Georgiana again. He peeked into the nursery, which was covered in wallpaper and paraphernalia of Peter Rabbit and friends. She was still asleep.
He went to his office and tried to do some work, taking the baby monitor with him; but his mind was too much in turmoil to concentrate. He decided to go to bed. He informed Elizabeth of his intention and was puzzled by her chuckle in reply.
“Have a good night’s rest,” she said, enigmatically.
“Thanks.”
Will changed into his pajama bottoms and looked at the bed he had shared with Caroline. No, he wouldn’t sleep there tonight. He decided to sleep in the downstairs guestroom.
Just as he was going down the stairs, he heard a wail rise and meet his ears. Will groaned and turned around to walk back up the stairs. Going into the nursery, he picked up Georgiana. “What is it? What’s wrong?” he asked her. Then suddenly stopped. Ooookay. He was now talking to a baby who could not understand him! Will sighed.
He started as he saw Elizabeth’s figure silhouetted in the doorway. She was leaning casually against the doorframe, her arms folded and a very annoying smirk on her face.
“What?” demanded Will.
“Nothing,” she said nonchalantly.
Will went back to rocking the infant in his arms. Finally, as he realized that perhaps rocking wasn’t what was needed, he turned to Elizabeth and said, “All right, what do I have to do to make her stop crying and go to sleep again?”
“Feed her.”
“What? She just ate!”
“Babies eat a little very frequently.”
Will sighed in frustration and started to go downstairs.
“Will, you may want to wrap her in her blanket. You can’t let her get cold.”
Will stomped up the stairs like a child in a tiff and scooped up the blanket from Georgiana’s crib and gently, clumsily, wrapped her in it. He went down stairs and turned on the stove to heat the saucepan of water. With one hand, he managed to put some of the formula into the bottle and then place it in the saucepan. Meanwhile, the baby was still crying.
Finally, the bottle seemed ready. He had tested the temperature like Elizabeth had taught him. He put the bottle near her lips and watched in relief as she took the nipple into her mouth and began suckling.
“Once she’s had a bit, she may start to fall asleep,” Elizabeth said from behind him, making him jump.
“What do you mean?”
“She’s had some food, isn’t as hungry, so she falls back to sleep, but it’s better for you to wake her up until she’s full. Remember to burp her, too.”
“How often did you say she needs to be fed?”
“At this stage? About every three to four hours.”
Will groaned.
“You may want to prepare several bottles and keep them heated, maybe in a thermos or something, so you don’t have to come down here and heat up and wait for it etc. That’s the good thing about breastfeeding. The milk is available.”
“Well, I don’t have that option, do I?”
During the third feed of the night, Will had to go back downstairs for more formula. He was surprised to find Elizabeth curled up on the living room sofa reading a book by the light of a lamp.
“Elizabeth?” he asked.
She startled.
He apologized for scaring her and then asked, “What are you doing up? Is Georgiana keeping you awake? Is the room not suitable?”
“No, no. I … I suffer from insomnia. I just can’t seem to sleep. So I stay up doing things like reading.”
“Can you not take a sleeping pill? I’m sure Caroline has some stashed away somewhere in this house.”
“No, thank you. I prefer not to rely on them.”
“Feel free to watch a movie or something.”
“Thanks.”
“Oh, and feel free to do some of this feeding yourself,” he hinted obviously.
She laughed a little. She had a pleasant laugh. So much nicer than Caroline’s. It was more … genuine. “I think you should experience it for yourself since I won’t be here for long.”
“It doesn’t mean you couldn’t give me a break now and then while you are here.”
She just shook her head with a smile.
Will was woken again by Georgiana’s cries the next morning. Somehow, by some unknown force, he managed to drag himself out of his warm bed and nearly fell back onto it when he saw by the dim light of dawn a figure standing by the door.
Will was confused for several seconds. “Caroline?”
“No, it’s Elizabeth. I thought you would want this bottle.”
“Bottle?”
“Yes. Bottle. Remember your daughter, Georgiana? The baby crying in the next room.”
“Oh yes,” he sighed. He pulled on the robe that had been tossed on the other side of his bed from the last time he had fed her. He slipped his feet into their slippers, took the bottle from Elizabeth’s outstretched hand and shuffled into the next room, aching for more sleep and wishing the cries would stop.
Elizabeth continued to watch him as he picked up Georgiana and began to feed her. She looked impeccable, dressed for work except for her bare feet.
“She’ll need a diaper change, don’t forget.”
Will nodded wearily. By this time, he had become more practised in the art of changing a diaper. Even the disgustingness of it was wearing off.
“I was going to fix some breakfast. What would you like?” she asked.
“Um, what can you make?”
“I think you need some toast and marmalade, some eggs and if you have any, some bacon or sausage or something. How does that sound?”
“Heavenly.”
Elizabeth smiled a little bit.
“How do you like your eggs done?”
“Scrambled.”
“After you’re done with Georgiana, you can take a shower and come downstairs and it will be ready.”
Will nodded. His eyes were drooping closed. He was so tired.
“Will!” snapped Elizabeth.
“What?” Will jerked awake.
“Don’t fall asleep.”
“Okay. I know. All right.”
Elizabeth walked over to him and made him look at her. She looked at him squarely in the eyes. She has beautiful eyes, he mused sleepily.
“You need to stay awake. You can take a nap later on today, but you have to get going now.”
Will nodded.
“Are you okay?”
He nodded again, now noticing that she was merely concerned about him. Aw, that was so sweet!
Elizabeth suddenly left, leaving Will confused. Had he said that out loud?
When Will came downstairs, showered and dressed with baby in his arms, Elizabeth acted like nothing was the matter. On the table was a delicious breakfast laid out for two.
“Did you go to sleep at all?”
“Yes, I did. I dozed on and off in the armchair in the living room.”
“I did give you a room to stay in, didn’t I?” asked Will, a bit confused.
“Yes. I just have trouble sleeping that’s all.”
“Is this a constant problem for you?”
Elizabeth shrugged and nodded. “Pretty much, yeah.”
“What causes it?”
“I don’t know. They say it’s depression but…” she shrugged again, “I’m not sure it’s that.”
“They?”
“The experts,” she snorted derisively.
Elizabeth reached for Georgiana, and Will gratefully, carefully handed the sleeping infant to her.
Will attacked the breakfast with gusto. Caroline had never ever made him breakfast before.
Elizabeth ate with her free hand and asked, “Are you going into the office?”
“Of course,” replied Will, as if he hadn’t thought of any other option.
“Had you thought of putting her into a daycare?”
“Would it be the best thing for her?” he asked.
“I don’t think so. At two weeks, babies should be at home with their parent or parents.”
“I can’t stay here any longer.”
“I’m aware of that. How much business do you actually conduct personally in your office, like entertaining clients?”
“Not that much. We have a conference room that we use to conduct meetings in and a lot of my business is done by phone and email.”
“Then the best idea is probably to keep her at work with you.”
“Are you sure?”
“You don’t have another option. Well, you could maybe find a nanny. But I thought parents usually don’t get nannies for such young babies. It would take a while to find a good one, I would expect. Could you work from home?”
“Not really. Some of it I can, but a lot of my work I need to be in the office for.” Will, still holding onto his resolve to be a good father, decided he would have to take Georgiana with him. “How should I be prepared for taking her to the office then?”
“You can take the car seat into the office with you and it becomes a small crib where she can sleep. Just temporary, of course. You will need diapers and formula and several bottles. A blanket, the baby wipes, um… a few change of clothes for her, and… a change of clothes for you. Do you keep some in the office?”
“I beg your pardon?” Will said, spoonful of eggs frozen in midair.
“If the baby burps on your suit or if you have another kind of accident – which is likely to happen – you will want something to change into.”
Will decided not to react. Nothing would amaze or bewilder him anymore. He’d reached his limit. Obviously this whole child-rearing business was nothing like he had expected. What he had expected he didn’t exactly know. But he knew it wasn’t this. His three closest friends were either bachelors or somewhere around the world. He wasn’t close enough to any of Caroline’s friends, and he’d lost his own parents very early on. Observation of parenthood was something he had very little of in his life. He was only just beginning to realize what he had missed.
“Do you have a child care centre in your office?”
Will looked at her blankly. “A child care centre?”
“Surely many of your employees have children, some of them young children.”
“I suppose so, yes.”
“So you don’t have a place where they can put their children in care but still nearby?”
“No.”
“Will, Mr. Darcy, I really think it is something you should look into.”
“What do you mean?”
Elizabeth gave him a look that suggested she thought he was being particularly obtuse. She explained slowly, “If you look at your employees and see how many have young children, you may find it would be a good idea to start a childcare centre in your office. Or at least nearby. Just look at your situation. Most mothers get maternity leave for several weeks until the baby is strong enough to be away from its mother’s side. Then many times the mother has to return to work. She has to put the baby into day-care, and they are often far away from the office and she stresses over this arrangement. When the child is sick, the parent has to take time away from work to go all the way over to see to the child, or the parent has to stay home with the child. If you have a childcare centre in the office, the children are near to their parents, they can spend time with each other over lunch hour, say. And if the child has the coughs, the parent can quickly go and comfort the child and assess the seriousness of the situation. A parent will feel more comfortable bringing a child that is unwell to a facility close to them where they can keep an eye on the child. Morale is increased among your employees; you retain your employees more since you are a company that values the importance of family. There are many benefits, and the only disadvantage being the cost. And you can split the cost among the parents using the facilities. Collectively, and with a subsidy from the company, it will often cost less than sending them to an outside childcare centre.” She paused, shifting Georgiana carefully in her arms. “I really think you should consider it. Especially if you are going to be the sole parent for this little one. You cannot keep her in your personal office forever.”
Will looked at her, assessing her once again. He had grossly underestimated her. “How do you know all this?”
She looked at him like he should already know. When she saw that he did not know, she said, “I’m a Human Resources consultant.”
Will’s eyebrows flew up in surprise. “Really?”
“You didn’t think I was just an executive assistant, did you?”
By his silence it became apparent that he had. He was afraid she would be insulted. But instead, she chuckled. “You really suck at employee/employer relations.”
“Excuse me?!” he said, stunned she had said such a thing to his face.
“Well, I speak only from my experience,” she said as a side note. “I’ve known Mrs. Reynolds for several years. And when she had to go suddenly, she called me up to ask if I would fill in for her as a favour. I’m wrapping up my consultancy jobs here and will be soon moving to start over somewhere else. Chicago, to be precise. So I had the spare time and I owed her several favours. She wouldn’t get just anyone to do a shoddy job for you.”
“Well, I know I respect Mrs. Reynolds and would never expect her to leave me with someone inadequate. But I just thought you were a secretary.”
“By the way, I prefer it if you use the term assistant.”
“Why?”
“Because secretary has a negative connotation in this day and age. Only women are secretaries and they are not valued. Surely you must value what Mrs. Reynolds does for you.”
“Of course. She is extremely useful and important to me.”
“Then give her a title that signifies that.”
“Did she ask you to tell me this?”
“No!” Elizabeth cried, appalled he would suggest that Mrs. Reynolds would act so.
“All right.”
Elizabeth dropped the subject to Will’s relief. She had given him too much to think about. She was a HR consultant?? He was impressed. It explained a bit more. It explained why she didn’t act the submissive, demure secretary.
Elizabeth stood up, still cradling Georgiana in her arm, and began to clear away the dishes.
“Here, let me help,” said Will.
“I expect you to,” she quipped. “Since it is your house.”
When the table was cleared, Elizabeth helped Will pack a bag of things he would need with him in the office. Then Will placed Georgiana in her car crib and they started the drive to work. Elizabeth dozed off on the way. Noticing this, Will turned down the radio and just spent the time in deep contemplation.
He had to admit that now that he had Georgiana to care for, the idea of having her in some care centre of any distance away from him was a disturbing thought. Was this what it was like for other parents working in his company? He decided to have one of his employees find out how many of his workers had young children and how many would want to use a facility in the office.
Meanwhile, he had to figure out how he was going to care for Georgiana while managing his company. If only Mrs. Reynolds had not left, he might have been able to handle it. As it was, he would have to delegate more of his tasks to his assistants and colleagues.
When they got to the office, Elizabeth was still asleep. He was loath to wake her since she had had so little sleep. However Georgiana, somehow sensing the cease of the car in motion began to fuss and then cry.
Elizabeth woke up and noticed with embarrassment that she had fallen asleep on the drive. “Sorry,” she mumbled.
“Not at all. Are you ready to start the day?”
She nodded. Will got Georgiana out of the car and slung the bag full of baby supplies over his shoulder while Elizabeth carried his briefcase.
Georgiana continued crying as they rode the elevator to the ninth floor and walked into the offices. The receptionist smiled at the two of them, giving the trio a cheery ‘Good morning’. Will dumped the bag down on one of the chairs in front of his desk and immediately turned on the coffee pot to heat up the water.
Elizabeth, walking in behind him with his briefcase said, “It may be an idea to invest in a kettle so you don’t keep using the coffee maker which takes longer.”
“Can you go out and buy one today?”
“If you want. But I think I can be of more help to you here. Why don’t I send someone else in the office to do the errand?”
Will nodded absently and Elizabeth left to delegate the task. There were actually two interns who could be trusted with the task.
Will hooked up his laptop and turned it on as he was waiting for the water to heat up. Elizabeth came back and gave him the car seat that sat on the ground and could be rocked back and forth. Will put Georgiana into it first and then poured a container of formula into one of the bottles. He submerged it into the now-hot water and waited for it to warm up, testing it every now and then on his wrist as Elizabeth had showed him. When he deemed it ready, he picked up Georgiana and sat in his chair behind his desk, remembering to put the blanket beneath her, a bib to catch her dribbles, and a rag over his shoulder to catch any stray messes. As Georgiana suckled the milk, Will checked his email. There were a lot of emails he needed to reply to.
“Ms. Bennet!” he called out.
Elizabeth came into his office. “There is an intercom you can use, you know,” she pointed out.
“I know, but it’s easier to yell. I don’t have too many spare hands available.”
“It’s still not very polite.”
Will asked impatiently, “Could you come here and type replies to these emails for me? I can’t do it with one hand.”
Elizabeth obediently came forward, sitting across from him and turning the laptop to face her. She looked at him expectantly and he began to dictate replies to her.
Will managed to get through the morning and two feedings and three diaper changes while catching up on a lot of the work that had been neglected. In the afternoon, he had scheduled a meeting with all of his directors.
Will walked into the conference room carrying the sleeping Georgiana in her portable crib. He placed her on the table.
“Good afternoon everyone. Meet my new daughter, Georgiana Laura Darcy. Due to some difficulties at home, I need to keep her with me.”
Will then gently placed the crib on the floor beside his chair where he could rock it with his foot absentmindedly and keep an eye on her.
“I can’t take the paternity leave to care for her until she can be put into childcare. But I am also unwilling to give that responsibility to anyone else. My current plan is to keep her with me as much as possible, which means I won’t be able to do as much work as I could before. I am going to have to rely more on you to spread my workload. I have enough faith in each and every one of you to act more autonomously. Use your good judgment and check back with me occasionally.”
The meeting proceeded with the division of certain tasks as well as a general debriefing. Will focused the direction in which the company was headed, making sure everyone knew the goals they were to have in mind. He wanted to get into the European market, as most universities there had not yet begun doing applications online. Someday, he wanted to try the Asian market, but would need to substantially rebuild the software in order to accommodate Asian language characters, including translators skilled enough to help design the software.
Near the end of the meeting, Georgiana woke up and began to demand her next feeding. Using the phone by his chair at the head of the conference table, Will called Elizabeth via the intercom. “Could you bring me a bottle for Georgie into the conference room, please?”
Meanwhile, he picked up his daughter and held her in his arms, rocking her and trying to quiet her to no avail. Soon, he walked out of the room, since she was disrupting the meeting. Elizabeth soon came and gave him the bottle of formula. She handed him the blanket and he held the bottle for Georgiana to suckle. Before leaving, Elizabeth slipped Will a note. Will returned to the conference room. While the directors talked about a certain issue, Will quickly glanced at the note.
A Ms. Hanstead is most eager to speak with you as soon as you’re available.
Will almost groaned aloud. He had been in the middle of negotiations with Ms. Emily Hanstead just before Georgiana was born and had been unable to get in touch with her since.
Will wrapped up the meeting soon after that and returned to his office, still carrying the feeding Georgiana. As he passed Elizabeth’s desk, he asked, “Could you go back into the conference room and fetch me the crib and then I’d like you to bring me the Wangeshi file and put me through to Ms. Hanstead.”
When he sat down, he began having difficulty getting Georgiana to continue feeding. She had another half an ounce to go. He tried to coax her to take the nipple again, but she was having none of it. When Elizabeth walked in, he said, “She doesn’t want to eat anymore.”
“Try burping her first.”
Will burped her but she still would not drink any more.
“Don’t force it. She’s just had enough. Here. I’ll change her diaper while you make that call.”
“How many times has she called?”
“Oh, only three times while you’ve been in that meeting.”
Will rolled his eyes and sighed. Elizabeth took Georgiana from him and used the top of the low file cabinets in the corner of his office as a changing table with a mat to protect the fine wood.
Chapter Three
Posted on Saturday, 21 February 2004
As they were getting ready to go home, Elizabeth came into Will’s office and said, “I’ve been thinking. What if I invited my sister and her husband and baby to come over to your house this evening or tomorrow? I really don’t know as much about babies as you will need to know, and you will be able to ask more questions of Jane and Charles about taking care of Georgiana. Jane is the sweetest creature on earth. She’s very gentle and kind and loving. And it’s hard for anybody to dislike Charles.”
Will hesitated. He felt uncomfortable inviting strangers over.
She must have seen his hesitation, for she said, “It would really be the best thing for Georgiana.”
He narrowed his eyes at her. She certainly knew how to manipulate that argument, didn’t she? But since she said it, he couldn’t say no. He really would gain something from talking to parents of a baby.
“All right. Call them and see if they are free to come over for dinner this evening or the next.”
Elizabeth smiled at him and left immediately to call them.
She has a lovely smile, he mused to himself casually. I wonder why she’s single.
Ten minutes later, as Will was sorting through some outdated contracts in search of one in particular, Elizabeth came back into his office. He looked up.
“Well?”
“They will be able to make it over tonight.”
“It took you…” he glanced at his watch. “Ten minutes to ask your sister over for dinner?”
“It took a lot of explaining,” she said defensively. “Don’t you think she’s going to wonder what I am doing inviting them to a stranger’s house? How do I know you? Why am I staying at your house for a few nights? Stuff like that.”
“I see.” Will had only been teasing, but she seemed to take him seriously.
“But I need to give her directions to your house.”
“Oh. Here.” Will began to scribble down directions from the nearest major road to his house.
“Why don’t you just pick up the phone and tell her? She’s still on line 4.”
Will looked at the blinking light of line 4. “Um, no, I think it best if you just tell her.”
He handed her the piece of paper and quickly busied himself with something or other so she would go away without asking any more questions.
He was still uneasy about having this couple over. It had been so long since he had entertained on his own. That was Caroline’s forte and he was firmly kept out of it. The house was definitely decent to receive company. The cleaning service still came every week, and he had yet to break out of the cleanliness habits Caroline had instilled in him. They would have to pick up food on the way home again, though.
In light of the new arrangements for that evening, Will finished his work for the day early, stuffing a lot of it into his briefcase with his laptop to take home with him. He gathered up the baby things and called for Elizabeth to get ready to go home. He changed Georgiana’s diaper and then they left the office.
“What kind of food should we pick up?” asked Will.
Elizabeth considered it for a while. “Didn’t you say there was Thai food we could take away?”
Will nodded, looking over his left shoulder to move into the next lane.
“I think they would like that.”
Will tossed his mobile phone at her and she again made the call. This time she heard what was offered and ordered several dishes she thought everyone would like.
Georgiana became upset and began to fuss as Will pulled in to pick up the Thai food. Again, Elizabeth went inside to pay for it and bring it out to the car, while Will attempted in vain to put Georgiana at ease.
She was crying and wailing by the time Elizabeth was back in the car. Exasperated, Will just gave up and started driving home. When he pulled into the garage, Elizabeth grabbed the food while he picked up the baby. He opened the door with his keys and tossed them onto table beside it, hurrying into the kitchen to make some formula.
Elizabeth brought the rest of their things in from the car while Will attempted to feed Georgiana. But she wasn’t taking any of it.
“Elizabeth!” Will called out, worried.
She walked into the kitchen.
“Why is she crying? She won’t take more food. I had fed her only shortly before we left the office.”
“She could just be uncomfortable. Did you check her diaper?”
Will checked and it was still clean. He looked at Elizabeth desperately.
“I don’t know why she’s crying. She just could be cranky. Why don’t you go upstairs to her nursery, hold her, cuddle her, talk to her soothingly, sing to her, and put her to sleep.”
Will was skeptical. But nevertheless, it was better than nothing. So he went upstairs, holding her against his shoulder, rubbing her back gently. He waited until he was shut up in his room to start talking to her. Unconsciously, his voice changed from the one he used everyday with other adults. It was softer and sounded suspiciously like cooing. He even attempted to sing, but the only song he could think of was Row, Row, Row Your Boat. And he had never been a very accomplished singer.
Gradually, her cries diminished, until finally she fell asleep. Carefully, ever so gently, Will laid her down on her back in her crib. He gazed down at her, reached in and stroked her cheek and her tiny clenched fist. She was so beautiful!
The sound of the doorbell disrupted his reverie and he quickly went downstairs to greet his guests. He had forgotten they were coming in the last half hour. He glanced and noticed Elizabeth had set the dining room table.
He opened the front door as Elizabeth walked up behind him. There stood a very beautiful woman with only a slight resemblance to Elizabeth, and a cheerful young man holding a wide-awake seven-month-old baby.
Elizabeth said, “Jane, Charles, meet Will Darcy. Will, this is my sister Jane and her husband Charles and their son, Tobin.”
Will smiled at them. “Nice to meet you. Do come in.”
“Thank you,” said Jane.
“You can set your things down there and I thought we could eat now before the food gets cold. Elizabeth, could you see to everything? I was going to run upstairs and change out of my suit and check on the baby.”
“Sure.”
Will retreated upstairs and quickly changed into some more casual but still nice clothes other than his work suit. They didn’t seem like such bad people. Maybe this would be a pleasant evening.
He checked to make sure Georgiana was all right, and then went back downstairs. Everyone else was seated and passing around the different selections of Thai food. Will sat down as Jane said, “I do hope you don’t mind if Tobin eats with us. I haven’t given him his supper yet and he’s wide awake. I’m afraid of what he may get his hands on in this nice house of yours.”
“No, no. I don’t mind at all.”
To break the ice, Elizabeth said, “Charles is into web design, Will.”
“Really? Do you design them yourself or do you manage other designers?” asked Will.
This started a decent conversation between the two men about work and technology. Charles was a decent chap, mused Will. Elizabeth and Jane meanwhile carried on their own conversation about Tobin and what Elizabeth had been doing the past two days. Eventually, the conversation of the men moved to the topic of their new babies. Will asked Charles how he had coped at first.
“Well I had Jane to care for him and I just helped out. I have cut down on the number of hours I am at work and now spend more time working in the evenings after Tobin has gone to sleep. I can’t imagine how difficult it is for you right now.”
Jane and Elizabeth now joined the conversation as Jane asked, “So you have been taking her to work with you?”
“That’s been my plan, yes.”
“Babies, when they are first born, are susceptible to illness as their immune system is not yet functioning fully. I would be careful about where you take her at this stage. Make sure your office is well circulated, and make sure everything is cleaned. Don’t let too many people handle her, especially without their having washed their hands.”
“Do you think I should put her into some childcare facility?”
“Not necessarily. I think it is good you are establishing a relationship with her right now.”
“I’m sorry?”
“As you spend time with her, she learns your voice and your smell. You will become a source of comfort for her and she will seek you.”
“Really? I thought that was a mother thing.”
“Usually it is the mother doing the feeding and cuddling. But as you are the only one caring for her, she will, essentially, adopt you as her mother and depend on you.”
Will liked the idea of Georgiana recognizing and seeking comfort from him.
“So you have a crib in your office?” asked Charles.
“Actually, I used the car seat today.”
Jane looked shocked. “You mean she’s been asleep in a car seat all day?”
“No, I took her out to feed and change her.”
Jane shifted Tobin to her other knee and put down the spoon with which she was trying to feed him. “She needs to sleep on a flat surface. Always on her back, without loose items like teddy bears and blankets that could suffocate her by accident.”
“Then I should get another crib just for my office?”
“If this is the path you have decided to take, then yes, you should turn your office into a nursery. There should be a changing table, a place where you keep the diapers and the clean bottles and the clothes, and her crib.”
Will glanced at Elizabeth and remembered what she had said about having an on-site nursery and childcare centre.
Georgiana chose that moment to wake up and demand attention. “Excuse me,” Will sighed and got up from the table.
Will fixed a bottle and took it up with him. He picked up the crying baby from her crib and settled her into the crook of his arm, giving her the bottle to suckle. He heard a noise behind him and turned to see Charles standing in the doorway.
Will felt embarrassed at this man seeing him feeding Georgiana. But Charles just said, “Wouldn’t it make it more comfortable for you to sit down?”
“I suppose so.”
“You should move an easy chair in here for yourself.”
“That’s a good idea. The only problem is when it’s the middle of the night. I can easily see myself falling asleep in the chair.”
Charles chuckled. “Don’t I know it.”
Will looked at him in surprise. “Did you feed your baby?”
“Of course. I had my fair share of nighttime feedings. It gave Jane much needed rest and gave me the opportunity for some bonding time with my son. Jane would breastfeed him and I would bottle-feed him. It’s worked well for us.”
Will nodded, feeling more relaxed with Charles.
“I was thinking,” said Charles. “Tomorrow night is Jane’s night off. I think she and Lizzy are going to do something together which leaves me home alone with Tobin. Would you like to come over and watch the Cardinals vs. Red Sox game?”
Will, not having kept up with baseball much recently, thought it would be nice.
“Bring Georgiana with you of course.”
Will gave it two more seconds of consideration and then said, “Sure. I would like that.”
“You can come straight from work, bring Lizzy with you, then the sisters can go off together leaving us with the babes.” Charles looked excited about the prospect.
There was a minute of silence before Will asked, “How long did it take you to get used to the idea of being a father.”
“Oh, I still haven’t quite gotten my mind around the concept. It’s just an awesome idea.”
“Are you ever afraid you’ll mess up?”
“All the time. It must be more frightening to do this on your own.”
“An understatement,” muttered Will.
“How does your office feel about you caring for a baby?”
“I don’t really know what they think about it. I didn’t really have an option, so they kind of take it in stride. I don’t think I have grasped how difficult this will be. I’m sure to lose business now.”
“Forgive me if I’m being nosy, but… do you know your wife isn’t coming back?”
Will was silent for a while. He had been trying not to think of it. Of her. “She never said as much, but… knowing her as I do, now that she’s left and she’s away from the immediate vicinity of Georgiana, I don’t think she’ll come back. The hardest part for her must have been leaving. Now that she’s gone, it’ll be easy for her to forget Georgiana and her responsibility.”
“Do you miss her?”
“I miss her taking care of this little one.”
Will knew he meant more than that, but Charles seemed to respect his privacy after Will didn’t answer the question.
“You may consider taking some kind of course or class about caring for babies.”
“I know that one usually attends them during the pregnancy, but I didn’t think I would need to know all this stuff. That was Caroline’s job.” Will now knew that this was a flawed view of family. It was unfair to expect Caroline to do all this work. To be honest, he had no idea how much hard work it was to care for an infant. But at the time he hadn’t known any better, and Caroline didn’t seem to care enough to make him understand. As Will said it aloud to Charles, it seemed so callous and selfish, but Charles didn’t say anything, didn’t pass judgment, even though Will thought he could have.
Several minutes passed in mutual silence. Then Will asked, “Do you think a man can provide the same care as a mother?”
“I don’t think men provide the same care as a mother does, but I think a man can still provide care that is as good. Men haven’t been brought up and trained to care for children like women have, but I still think they can be sufficient. Nobody is perfect, there are bad mothers and good fathers and vice versa. The best thing is when you have both a good mother and a good father.”
“Georgiana will grow up with a big disadvantage if she doesn’t have a mother.”
“Not necessarily. She could have a strong female role in her life to take the place of her mother and turn out to be a very special woman herself. I think she could have an advantage if you bring her up on your own. You can’t tell. It all depends on the role you play for her.”
Georgiana had finished feeding. Will burped her, checked her diaper, and then brought her downstairs for Jane to meet.
Jane adored Georgiana instantly, and took her in her arms. “Will, she’s beautiful!” cooed Jane.
Will couldn’t help feeling a swell of pride at the compliment his daughter was receiving.
“Almost as beautiful as your son?” teased Elizabeth.
Jane made a face at her sister and then went back to admiring the infant in her arms. “She looks like she’s doing well,” said Jane.
Everyone moved into the living room and sat down to talk. Elizabeth held Georgiana in her arms while Charles sat on the floor, keeping an eye on the crawling Tobin. Jane observed, “Your house is definitely not childproof, Will.”
“Really?” he replied, looking around the room in surprise.
“Too many breakable things. This white rug will be ruined by one spill. There are hard objects that are dangerous to fall on or against.”
Elizabeth said, “Have you thought of moving to a smaller house?”
“A smaller house? Why?”
“If it’s just going to be the two of you, it would be smart. If you’re down in the kitchen making something, and Georgiana is crying in her nursery, can you hear her? You have several bedrooms, more than enough space, and it’s not ideal for raising a child.”
Will looked around his house. It was fashionable, but that was all he could say in praise of it. He didn’t think it was comfortable, he didn’t think it was homey, he didn’t think it was inviting, and it reminded him too much of Caroline: cold, fashionable, and beautiful. Caroline was beautiful, and she knew it. But she was never a warm person. And she seemed to manifest herself in the house. They were sitting on black leather couches and chairs. They were too firm to be comfortable. There was a huge entertainment system in one corner, modern art on the walls and lots of glass sculptures on the shelves. A large white rug covered the cold tile floor, with a glass and mental coffee table in the centre.
It was an interesting idea to think about moving out of this house. To move into a neighbourhood he liked; to decorate the place like he wanted. To get rid of Caroline’s influence….
“I’ll think about it,” was all he said aloud.
They continued to talk about different things as Georgiana fell asleep in Elizabeth’s arms and soon after, Tobin was fast asleep. Jane announced that it was time for them to go home, and they left as Charles reminded Will of their engagement the following evening.
When the front door was closed, Will turned to look at Elizabeth standing there with the sleeping Georgiana in her arms. He never thought of her as beautiful, especially compared to Caroline, but she did look attractive at that moment holding his daughter.
“Did you enjoy the evening?” she asked.
“I did, thank you.”
“Good. Did you learn something? Did it help?”
Will couldn’t help but smile a little. “Yes, it did.”
“Good. What was Charles talking about tomorrow night?”
“Oh, he invited me to watch some game on television with him tomorrow since it’s his night alone with Tobin. You and Jane are supposed to go out on the town and Charles and I will have a father’s night in front of the television, I think.”
Elizabeth laughed. “It sounds like fun. I’m glad you’re becoming friends with Charles.”
Am I? thought Will. He did like Charles, enjoyed his company, it would be nice to become friends with him. Useful, too. And he would have a friend of his very own, not one of Caroline’s shallow friends.
“Shall we put her to bed?”
Elizabeth nodded. “You go on up. I’ll clean up down here.”
“No, you don’t have to do that.”
“I won’t sleep anyway. So you may as well take advantage of that.”
Will saw the logic of this, took Georgiana from Elizabeth and went upstairs with her, still thinking about the many things he had been given to mull over that evening. It would be useful to have Georgiana near him in the house.
He changed and went to bed, leaving his door open so he could hear Georgiana easily. He was slightly afraid she would awake and cry and he would sleep through it. But Elizabeth would surely wake him up if he needed it. However, he thought, what would happen when she wasn’t there to help him. She wasn’t going to stay long.
Will did wake up when Georgiana cried in the middle of the night. And he only fell asleep once while feeding her. In the morning, he got up at his alarm and dragged himself out of bed. He took a shower, and when he came out, he heard Georgiana crying. He sighed, wrapping a towel around his waist so he could see to her immediately. As he was picking her up from her crib, he heard an “Oh!” from behind him.
He turned and saw Elizabeth dressed for work at the door. “Sorry. I heard her crying for a while and came up.”
“It’s ok. I just got out of the shower.”
“What did you want for breakfast?”
Will sat down in the kitchen chair by the crib and settled the baby in the crook of his arms, giving her a bottle. He ran a hand through his wet hair and teased, “You’re fattening me up for the kill, are you?”
One of her eyebrows rose, and said, “Hardly.”
Will realized his state of dress and nearly blushed. “I don’t mind. Surprise me.”
She left and Will repressed a chuckle.
When Georgiana was fed and given a new diaper, he shaved and dressed in his suit. He came down and there was cereal, English muffins and jam, and coffee. He plopped down at the kitchen table.
“And don’t go looking forward to weekends, because babies don’t understand the concept.”
Will groaned.
After several minutes of silent eating, Will asked Elizabeth, “Were you able to get some sleep last night?”
“I caught a few hours worth of naps.”
“Why don’t you take sleeping pills?”
“Don’t want to get addicted to them.”
On the drive to work, Elizabeth hesitantly broached the subject of his wife. “Do you know where your wife is?”
“No.”
“Do you have any ideas of where she could be?”
“Any expensive resort would be my guess.”
“And you don’t think she’s coming back?”
Will shook his head.
“Do you want her to?”
Will didn’t answer for so long that Elizabeth said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t – “
“I don’t think so,” he interrupted. He paused. “Our marriage was never that happy, and we’ve been fighting on and off for a little over a year now. It may be best to end it here. Her leaving me with Georgie is the last straw for me.”
“Do you want to keep Georgiana?”
“I think so, yes. I mean, I don’t think I could abide Caroline coming back and trying to ‘claim’ her again.”
“Then I would advise you to start divorce proceedings now. If you do it now, while Caroline has neglected her daughter at this tender age, then you hold a lot more weight in court in getting full custody of her.”
Will was silent, her words rattling around in his head. Did he want full, sole responsibility for Georgiana? He had become so attached to her he didn’t like the idea of giving her up. She was his daughter, a little piece of him. And he couldn’t imagine Caroline being a good, loving mother. He couldn’t picture Caroline treating Georgiana like Elizabeth did. He realized the truth of what Elizabeth was talking about. He knew how difficult it was for fathers to get custody of children in court.
“You think I should talk to a lawyer today about it?”
“I do. There is also a possibility that you will have to pay a large settlement in the divorce to Caroline. But right now, she is does not have much ground to stand on for getting any of your money. You can give her the house, use it as a bargaining tool. Act like you love the house, want to keep it, and then maybe in the end “settle” reluctantly for giving her the house while you get something that you really do want.”
“How do you know all of this?”
“I’ve been divorced myself.”
Will looked at in her in the rear-view mirror in surprise. “Really??”
She nodded. “We didn’t have any children, it didn’t last long. But I’ve learned my lesson from it.”
“How long ago was this?”
“Several years. I was too young to be married. I’m not saying everyone has to be a certain age to be married. It’s different for different people. For me, I was too young to be married.”
“Do you think you’ll marry again someday?”
“Maybe. If I find the right person. My ex-husband was not that right person.”
“Are you still friends with him?”
“No.”
“Do you regret marrying him?”
“Well, I was unhappy for a while, but in the long run I have learned a lot. I think I could have done without the learning though. What about you? Do you regret marrying Caroline?”
“I don’t know. I might end up saying no because she gave me Georgiana.”
“How did she happen? I mean, if Caroline doesn’t like children so much that she would leave her own daughter with someone, who, no offence, doesn’t know the first thing about taking care of a baby, then why did she have one at all?”
“I had wanted children. We had talked about it, and she had dissented, but I talked her into stopping the birth control so we could start a family. She had put it off long enough. I suppose that’s where the arguments started. So she became pregnant, was never really thrilled to pieces with it, but I thought she would be fine once she had the baby. I thought it was just a pregnant woman thing.”
He heard Elizabeth snort.
“Okay, yes, I realize with hindsight a lot of my opinions seem a bit ridiculous. But I have no sisters, no brothers, hence no sisters-in-law and no mother alive. I didn’t know what to expect.”
“I hope you’re learning from your mistake. You need to understand your spouse.”
“It’s nice for you to preach, you obviously didn’t do so well with your marriage, either.”
“You don’t know what went wrong with my marriage, so I would refrain from judging if I were you.”
Her voice was hard and abrupt. He realized she was right, but was still stinging from her own criticism of him to apologize. There was an oppressive silence for several minutes.
Then Elizabeth said, “What do we have to do today at work?”
Will launched into a tentative schedule for the day. They were more relaxed by the time they got to the office. There seemed to be a mutual agreement not to talk about it or argue anymore.