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Chapter Seven

Posted on Sunday, 22 August 2004

“Are you already asleep?” whispered Elizabeth, knowing full well that her sister had just gone to her bed a few moments earlier. But Jane had blown out the candle and was lying motionless, like a frightened child, in the large bed.

“No, Lizzy, of course not. I just sought the comfort of the darkness. Come lie here with me.”

As Jane turned back the coverlet to invite her in, the white of the linen illuminated her way and she stumbled towards the bed and lay down beside her sister.

“Oh Lizzy, can you make any sense of it at all?” she asked. “I have tried and tried, but I cannot understand why he was waiting for a letter from me. After all, it was he who left without a word.”

Elizabeth hesitated, struggling for an answer, and so in the absence of a response, Jane went on to ask a different question. “Do you think Mr. Bingley was deliberately avoiding my questions or was he just upset? He wouldn’t respond to either of them.”

“Oh, Jane, he was understandably shaken! Imagine discovering that your sisters have been lying and deceiving you for months on end. It was obvious to me however, that until today, he had no idea that he had hurt you. That is what was most astonishing! He was so very distressed and angry to discover it! Jane, I think…. I believe he still loves you.”

“But sadly, your predictions concerning Charles Bingley have never been correct, Lizzy, and besides,” she now said in a more agitated tone, “How could he not know what I would feel at his leaving. I never hid my regard for him.”

“No,” said Elizabeth, softly, “but perhaps your reserve prevented him from understanding the full extent of that regard.”

“Oh Lizzy! Truly he could not! I know that to many, I am not demonstrative enough of my feelings, but when Charles and I were together in more slightly more private settings, I could not help my response to him! I gave him the tenderest looks, I hung on his every word, I blushed crimson when he stroked my hand. At times I looked at him so lovingly that I embarrassed myself, but I couldn’t help it. My eyes told him that I loved him, and his responded in kind. There was no doubt! Truly Lizzy, we both knew we were close to a formal understanding,….and then he left.”

“Jane, forgive me for having questioned it! I have always been convinced of his love for you and of your perfect understanding of one another. But not everyone saw it that way, so I thought that perhaps I was being blinded by my intimate understanding of you.”

“Did you speak of it to others, Lizzy?” asked Jane, horrified.

“No, of course not. It was Charlotte who thought that you should show Mr. Bingley “more affection, even than you feel, in order to secure him,” she said mimicking Charlotte’s voice, “and we both know what we think of her good judgment when it comes to men!”

Happily, Jane found some humor in this last statement and her countenance softened. “I am determined to get an answer from Charles when he comes tomorrow, although I promise not to bite his head off even before he sits down,” she said chuckling. “I was rather hard on him, wasn’t I?”

”I’m afraid you were!” laughed Elizabeth. “I know I should have had more compassion for him, but after what he has put you through, he deserves to suffer a little. I was very proud of you, Jane. Shocked – but proud!”

“Is it possible, do you think, that there is still hope for us?” asked Jane.

“I do, Jane, I do! I think it highly probable that we will be seeing a great deal of Mr. Charles Bingley.”

“And dearest Lizzy, will you be very put out if he brings his haughty friend, Mr. Darcy, along?” Jane teased. “For then it is you who shall have to entertain him!”

Elizabeth laughed. “I shall be terribly put out if he does not! I do love him, Jane. He may be far from being a perfect man, but he is the perfect man for me. I feel that more strongly every time we meet.”

Although it was already half past eleven, Darcy saw his sister home and then continued on to his friend’s townhouse some four blocks away. Despite the hour and the raw emotions that were surely raging in both their hearts, Darcy felt it imperative to speak to him immediately. If Charles had managed to confront his sisters, then there was no doubt in Darcy’s mind that he had already been implicated. Caroline would never consider sparing another if she could share the burden of guilt and its consequences! But, if by some miracle, Charles had not had the opportunity to see her, then he would have the chance to do what he should have done long ago, tell his friend of his part in the scheme himself. If there was any hope at all in salvaging this friendship, it depended on making Charles believe that his remorse was genuine – not simply a defensive reaction to an accusation. Bingley would have every reason to banish him from his life, but he would do everything in his power to prevent it.

Saunders, Bingley’s butler, opened the door in his nightcap.

“Oh, Mr. Darcy, it is you! I hope there isn’t some sort of emergency, Sir? Mr. Bingley has already retired.”

“Could I trouble you to see if he is asleep, Saunders. This is not an emergency but it is terribly urgent,” said Darcy, hastily.

“I don’t think I should disturb him, Sir, if it can possibly wait until morning.”

A voice resonated from the top of the stairs. It was Bingley’s, but it had a timbre that Darcy had never heard before. “Saunders, tell Mr. Darcy that he is no longer welcome in this house and return to your bed. And do not open the door again this evening!”

“Charles! We must talk,” shouted Darcy, pushing past the elderly butler and bounding up the stairs after him, three steps at a time.

“I have nothing to say to you, Mr. Darcy! I don’t entertain strangers in my home and you, Sir, have become a stranger to me! I have no idea who you are!”

“But I have a great deal to say to you, Charles, and I ask you, for the sake of our long standing friendship to hear me out. I know you are very angry and have every right to be, but we have shared so much over the years and I wish to at least have the opportunity to apologize before we part company.”

“You made a fool of me!” spat Bingley, his face red and his eyes brimming. He turned abruptly and walked towards his library. Darcy followed at a respectful distance.

Closing the door behind him, he leaned against it and said, “I know it seems that way to you, Charles, but in truth, I was making a fool of myself.”

“Pretty words Darcy! They mean nothing to me! You made decisions that were not yours to make! – treating me like a child who didn’t have the sense to think for himself! But what cuts me to the core is how you could, so callously, hurt that sweet innocent creature – conspiring to humiliate her and make her believe that she was not worthy of our company,” he hissed. He leapt forward and struck his fist against squarely against Darcy’s chin. “That was for Jane!”

Darcy stumbled backward, grasped his jaw, and wincing, came to stand before his friend again. “I know. My behavior was abhorrent. But at the time, I believed I was saving you from a terrible fate.”

“Saving me? You expect me to believe that you did this for me?”

“I believed…that is, I wanted to believe that Miss Bennet was unworthy of you – that you could do better. I wanted to believe it because…I needed to believe it for my own selfish reasons. I was desperate to convince myself that marriage to Elizabeth was a degradation, that her family would be an embarrassment to me and that her low connections would affect Georgiana’s chances in society. I had to convince you of it, in order to convince myself.”

“Elizabeth?” gasped Bingley. “You have feelings for Elizabeth?”

“I love her with all my heart. And I could no more cast her from it then you could cast Jane from yours. I’ve hurt all of us with my arrogant interference. You have no idea how sorry I am.”

Bingley stared at him incredulously.

“It was wrong of me,” he continued, “to say that Miss Bennet’s demeanor showed no special affection for you, Charles. I, who am usually so reserved, should have realized that she was simply behaving with dignity. But that objection, at least to some degree, was due to faulty judgment. Keeping her visit from you was purely selfish conceit! Your sisters wished to keep her visit from you and although I knew it was wrong, I went along with it. I hoped we would never see or hear from the Bennets again and that I would be spared from ever confessing my deception to you. Well, I confess it now, though I know it is far too late. I am sorry Charles, deeply sorry.”

Charles Bingley rubbed his fist and stared at his friend. G-d knows, he wanted to forgive him; he loved and needed him! But it was Jane’s suffering that hardened his heart and he wasn’t ready to let Darcy off so easily.

“So now that you have unburdened yourself to me, I suppose you feel free to ask Miss Elizabeth for her hand, while I may have lost Jane forever! You didn’t hear the bitterness in her voice when she spoke to me this afternoon!”

Darcy hung his head and murmured, “I am sorry, Charles. And I must confess something more. I have already proposed to Elizabeth, but have been rejected.”

“She rejected you?”

“With a vengeance! She saw through me immediately. She knew I wasn’t worthy of her and she was right. I am trying to change, trying to become a better man, but as you see, with little success.”

Bingley looked at his friend sympathetically and then turned away from him. He knew he would not be able to stay angry with him forever, but he was certainly not going to let him go home to a good night’s sleep!

“It’s late Darcy. I think you should go.”

“Yes, forgive me. Thank you for listening to me, Charles,” said Darcy. “I wish you every happiness with Miss Bennet. I’m sure you’ll be able to win her back. ...Well, I hope and pray that you do. Good night.”

This had been the first morning that Madeline Gardiner had not needed to return to her bed after breakfast and she was anxious to sit in her own parlor for a while. So when Charles Bingley came to call, he was greeted by three ladies and two restless children who were tired of being confined to the house. It was a very lively atmosphere and not at all conducive to the very serious and intimate talk that he wished to have with Jane. He was an excellent guest, however, conversing amiably with Mrs. Gardiner, helping John with his puzzle and admiring Connie’s dolly in all her various costumes. But the anxiety in his eyes was obvious and after half an hour, Elizabeth had pity on him and suggested that they take the children out to the park.

“With Julia at school and Clara here to look after you, aunt, I think it is the perfect opportunity. We won’t stay out long. And if Constance tires, we shall return immediately,” promised Elizabeth. Mrs. Gardiner agreed that a bit of fresh air would do them all good and she was not averse to having her home to herself for a little while. Solitude was such a precious commodity these days.

They took along stale bread for the ducks, John’s sailboat and a stuffed rabbit named Henry to ensure the amusement of all.

Once in the safety of the park itself, they let go of the children’s hands and allowed them run ahead of them towards the pond. Mr. Bingley offered his arm to both the ladies and they chatted amiably about the temperate weather and the beauty of their surroundings. They then fell into that awkward silence that made all three of them painfully aware of the reason for their outing.

“I believe it is time to give the ducks their breakfast,” said Elizabeth, separating herself from the trio and hastening towards her little niece.

“Miss Bennet,” called Bingley after her. When she turned to look at him he was smiling, but his eyes were pleading with her. “I thought Miss Bennet and I might scout out the path you told us about and see if it’s not too long a walk for the children. Will you be all right with them on your own for a little while?” He knew the impropriety of what he was asking, but he was desperate.

Elizabeth looked to her sister, whose eyes had widened at the request, but who had made no objection. She thought immediately of what the privacy of the Post had meant to her, and smiling, simply nodded her consent. She turned back towards the pond and shouted to the children to wait.

They walked down the path in silence, the sound of the leaves crunching beneath their shoes the only audible evidence of their being there. The breeze blew the ribbons of Jane’s bonnet about her face and she stopped momentarily to tie them.

“Miss Bennet,” said Bingley, taking back her hand when she was done, “I must begin with an apology for my boorish behavior yesterday afternoon, but I hope you will understand that I was not quite myself.”

Jane colored, then gave a gentle nod and looked away.

“There is so much to explain that it is difficult to know where to begin. But I first wish to answer the question you asked me yesterday.” He paused to cover her hand with his, and looked into her shining eyes. “I came to see you Miss Bennet, because…. I have never stopped loving you and I wanted to see whether you might still have some feelings for me. I knew then that I had made a terrible mistake by not returning to Netherfield and asking for your hand; I only didn’t know how big a fool I had been or how grave and tragic the mistake.”

Jane listened to him wide eyed. She gave him an encouraging smile that urged him to continue.

“When I first left for London, I expected to be gone for only a few days and had no idea that my sisters would close up the house and follow me to town. When they arrived they made it their sole mission to convince me that our relationship was not the serious attachment I imagined it to be. You see, they led to believe that I hadn’t really won your heart,… that you certainly enjoyed my company, but that your feelings were not equal to mine. They feared that if I asked for your hand you might accept me for more …practical reasons.”

Jane drew her hand from his arm and brought it to her mouth. “And you believed them?”

“I did not, … not at first. I insisted that your feelings for me were genuine and that I knew you would never marry for convenience, but … I’m afraid that they worked on my insecurities, telling me again and again that they had never seen any passion or depth of feeling in your eyes and that I would end up miserable, in a loveless marriage.”

“I was not aware that your sisters were looking so deeply into my eyes, Mr. Bingley. And in any case, I reserved those looks for you,” said Jane, both angry and hurt.

“It distresses me to tell you that Mr. Darcy was part of the conspiracy to keep us apart as well, and that it was he who convinced me that you did not care for me as deeply as I would wish.”

“Yes of course, I understand now,” said Jane bitterly, “Mr. Darcy is your mentor, as well as your friend. I could certainly not expect you to doubt the word of Mr. Darcy!” She turned away from him in disappointment and anguish.

“I know that I was weak and gullible, Miss Bennet. I never should have let them interfere, but … they were so adamant in their belief. They offered what they called a test of your sincerity, and unfortunately, it sounded quite reasonable to me at the time. Caroline told me that she had written to you saying that we would be in town for a while, and she believed that if you truly cared for me, you would return her letter immediately, if only to keep the connection between us. That is why your letter was of utmost importance to me. When it did not come, I had to concede that they had been right. I never dreamt that the whole thing was a sham! – that they never intended for me to see that letter or you, ever again.”

“So you were willing to make the letter a test of my love, removing any and all responsibility from yourself for seeking out my true feelings! You truly are a coward, Mr. Bingley!”

Charles Bingley could not comprehend what he was hearing! Had his confessions made her even angrier? He had hoped that once he had explained how he had been put under intense pressure by people he loved and trusted, Jane would take pity on him and forgive him! How could this be going so badly? His head began to pound as he watched Jane pace back and forth before him.

“Why did you not simply come back to Hertfordshire to see me and make your own decision? I can understand their questioning the depths of my feelings. After all, they did not look into my eyes while we danced nor did they see me blush and become undone when you took my hand. … But you did!!!” she said, exasperated. “Only you were privy to my admiration for you and only you were the recipient of my affectionate looks. I thought you could see into my heart,” she whispered with a look of painful disappointment.

“I could, and I did, Jane! Truly I did! I believed you loved me as I loved you! – as I love you still.”

“It took me months and months just to be able to think of you without weeping,” said Jane, “and I had finally come to believe that I could live my life without you when I was called to London. When you suddenly reappeared yesterday, I couldn’t help but be hopeful, despite my bitterness. Now I wish you had never come - never told me your pitiful excuses, or admitted how weak and thoughtless you were! While you were so anxiously awaiting the letter that would decide my fate, did it ever occur to you that I might be suffering? Well, perhaps it has all turned out for the best after all. You are not the man I thought you were!”

And with that, she ran from him, down the path and towards the pond where her sister jumped up and came running towards her. “Jane! What is wrong? What has happened?”

“Nothing! Everything!” she blurted out through her tears. “Please Lizzy, stay here with the children. I need time by myself and I don’t want the children to hear me weeping. Please!”

“Go, go home. I’ll keep them out as long as I can. But do take care, Jane!”

Elizabeth watched anxiously as her sister hurried towards the entrance of the park. When she could no longer see her, she turned her own tearful eyes back to the children, glancing every now and then at the walking path. Although she remained for more than an hour, she never saw him. He must have made his escape on the other side of the pond.

Chapter Eight

Jane had finally fallen asleep when Elizabeth heard the knock on the door. She dreaded answering it, for how could she look into his eyes and tell him that he was not to call again? She gathered her fortitude, schooled her features and bravely opened it.

“Good afternoon, Miss Bennet,” his eager smile fell when he saw her face. “What has happened? What is wrong?”

“Oh, good afternoon, Mr. Darcy,” she said visibly relieved, the color returning to her cheeks. “Do come in, Sir. I was expecting someone else.”

“Are you unwell, Miss Bennet,” he said anxiously, “Truly you looked very ill just then.”

Elizabeth took his hat and coat, handed it to Clara, and gestured that he follow her into the parlor. When he was seated, she took the seat directly opposite him and made an effort to smile.

“Yes, I am distressed, Mr. Darcy, but I am not ill. My sister Jane has ended her friendship with Mr. Bingley and it has been a painful and exhausting day.”

“Ended it?” said Darcy, his mind unable to make sense of the information.

“Yes, I’m afraid so. Now if you will please excuse me, Mr. Darcy, I will tell my aunt that you have come to call.”

He stood and nodded, knowing that propriety required her to do so, but wishing that he could have had her all to himself a few moments longer. He could see how tired and anxious she was and would have liked to be of comfort to her.

Within a moment, the ladies entered the parlor with Mrs. Gardiner smiling warmly at him.

“Mr. Darcy, how nice to see you again. I hope your visit is for our pleasure, and not at all business related. My husband is still at the office.”

“No Mrs. Gardiner, I assure you this is a social visit,” said Darcy, returning her smile and bowing respectfully. “I’ve come to invite your family to the opera this coming Wednesday evening. I’ve secured a box for The Magic Flute, in the hope that you will all be fully recovered by then. And it would give me great pleasure to have you come for refreshments at my home afterwards.”

“How kind of you, Mr. Darcy. I thank you and accept in the name of all my family. What a lovely occasion to look forward to, isn’t it, Lizzy?”

“Yes, it is very exciting indeed. I do love Mozart, but I’ve never seen The Magic Flute. Thank you, Mr. Darcy, for your thoughtful invitation. And will your sister will be joining us?”

“Oh yes, and perhaps Colonel Fitzwilliam, as well, if he is still in town. He is most eager to see you again, Miss Bennet.”

Suddenly the sounds of distress could be heard from the direction of the nursery and Mrs. Gardiner rose, saying, “Please excuse me, Mr. Darcy. I must see to my children before they wake the entire neighborhood. I’ll have some tea sent in and join you again when I can.”

Darcy stood and bowed to her.

“Your aunt is a very generous and tactful lady,” said Darcy, grinning and taking his seat.

“Yes, she is a dear, sweet soul,” replied Elizabeth, returning his knowing look.

“Now tell me more about your sister and my friend, if your will. I don’t ask for any particulars of course, I just wish to understand what has happened.” His features now betrayed the degree of his concern.

“There is really very little to tell, and I only mentioned it to you so that you may be of comfort to Mr. Bingley sooner rather than later.” She twisted uncomfortably in her chair and studied the handkerchief in her lap.

“But why?” Darcy blurted out, his eyes searching her face. “Why now when they finally know the sad truth and are free of all encumbrances.” He paused, taking his gaze from her to stare anxiously at the carpet. He shook his head, and with his inner turmoil clearly evident, rose to pace the room.

“Forgive this impertinent question, Miss Bennet, and I will understand if you do not wish to answer, but… Does your sister no longer care for Mr. Bingley? I know for a fact that he loves her deeply.”

She looked at him apprehensively, shot a quick glance at the open door and then at him again. “I believe that she still loves him, Mr. Darcy,” she said in barely a whisper, “but sometimes love is not enough.”

“Not enough?” he repeated in unabashed horror and came to sit beside her. Instinctively, he took both her hands in his and said, “Love is everything, Miss Bennet!”

Elizabeth made no move to free her hands from his grasp, but turned her head aside to avoid his penetrating gaze.

“Mr. Darcy, my sister has opened her heart to me and I understand the reasons for her decision. What is more, I respect them.”

“But if she truly loves him, surely she would not allow past misunderstandings to keep them apart?” he asked, more for himself than for his friend. “Time can work great miracles, Miss Bennet, and people who are genuinely attached to one another can always find a way to overcome these obstacles. Don’t you believe that?” He studied her face with such intensity that she could neither avert her gaze nor breathe.

“Unfortunately, not everything can be forgiven, Mr. Darcy,” she finally answered and then looked away uneasily.

He stared at her open mouthed.

“One may feel affection for a person and yet be unable to admire or respect them.” she said softly. “And when those feelings are gone, I fear there is little hope for a happy union.”

He was shaken. It was as if he had been pierced clear through. Was this how she felt about him as well? Was this what was in her mind and heart? Was this his fate as well as Bingley’s?

He knew that he should rise and extricate himself from her but he could not. He could not let her go.

“And it would be foolhardy and dangerous to try and persuade her, Sir,” she continued. “I know you mean well, Mr. Darcy. You hurt for your friend and are not insensitive to my sister’s anguish. But I beg you not to interfere this time. … not everything can be fixed.”

Struck by the finality of her statement, he drew in a sharp breath. Fear gripped his heart. His eyes burned and he turned away from her.

“Please make my excuses to your aunt, Miss Bennet. I’m afraid I must go,” he said starting towards the door, and without even bowing or bidding her good-bye, walked out of the room. Clara heard him in the hallway and came running with his belongings, which he grabbed without a sideways glance at her. He had to get out.

In the parlor, Elizabeth stood dumbfounded. Why had he left so abruptly? Why had he seemed so upset? She understood that he was distressed for his friend but… “Oh dear G-d! He thought I was talking about us!” she said aloud and went running out after him. When she did not see him, she flew to the kitchen window in time to see his carriage disappear down the street.

“Lizzy? Has Mr. Darcy left already?” Madeline Gardiner’s said with surprise as she came into the kitchen.

“Yes aunt,” was all Elizabeth could say as she continued to stare out the window.

“Lizzy,” said her aunt softly and laying a hand on her niece’s shoulder, “Did you quarrel? Was he upset at Jane’s rejection of his friend?”

“Oh, yes, he was very concerned for Mr. Bingley, but we didn’t quarrel – not exactly. But I’m afraid he misinterpreted much of what I said. I can only imagine what he must be thinking!” she said anxiously.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll be able to set it all to right when we go to the opera. With so many people about, you’ll be able to find the time to talk to each other quietly and sensibly.”

The opera! I forgot about the opera! I doubt that he would even want us to come now!”

“Nonsense, Lizzy! Besides, Mr. Darcy is a gentleman; he will not retract the invitation! And he may not be taking this as seriously as you think. He is probably far more concerned about your feelings on the matter.”

“That may be so,” said Elizabeth, but that was precisely what worried her!

Mrs. Gardiner put up the water for tea and decided to take advantage of their being alone together to discover Elizabeth’s views on the subject of Mr. Bingley.

“Lizzy, do you feel that Jane has made the right decision concerning Mr. Bingley? It sounds as if he was ready to propose and he is obviously very much in love with her.”

“But I suppose that given what we have just learned, she feels that he didn’t love her enough,” said Elizabeth. “It is a difficult question, aunt. I have always felt that Jane and Mr. Bingley were especially well suited, both in temper and expectations. And only last night she was saying how much she loved him. But now that she knows the reasons for their separation, I understand her fears. As a husband and father, will he have the strength of character to make difficult decisions and hold firm when life requires it? If he can be so easily persuaded…if he has so little conviction of his own….” She let these questions linger in the air.

“I was very glad that your uncle Gardiner was so open to influence when we were courting. Oh, I suppose he would have gotten around to it eventually, but I had to do some serious persuading of my own to get him to marry me when he did. I believe that all men are rather fearful and indecisive when faced with marriage, Lizzy, but that does not make them unworthy. They tend to mature rather quickly once they have the responsibility of a wife. You wouldn’t call your uncle an indecisive man today, would you?”

“Certainly not!” cried Elizabeth. “But this is not quite the same, aunt. Mr. Bingley allowed himself to be influenced to give Jane up! That is a far more serious transgression.”

“Yes it is, but it is also understandable.”

“Understandable? How can you say that?”

“Did you not tell me that Mr. Bingley lost his father some time ago and that he has shared his household with his older sister since then?

“Yes.”

“Well, I would imagine that even before the elder Mr. Bingley passed away, Mr. Bingley’s sisters felt that they were somewhat responsible for him and may have treated him accordingly. Once their father died, they may have continued in that role, even though their brother was already a mature young man. Perhaps Mr. Bingley has been in the habit of trying to please his sisters, as one would a parent.”

“But that is precisely the problem, aunt. He should have long outgrown the need to please them to the detriment of his own happiness.”

“Well, perhaps you are right, my dear. I only wish for Jane to think this through very carefully. None of us are without fault, and although Mr. Bingley’s circumstances may have made him more dependant on others than he should be, it is not necessarily a permanent condition. If he is in all other ways a fine young man…? Well, unfortunately, Jane is in no frame of mind to think on that just now.”

“No,” murmured Elizabeth, her mind having drifted to Governor Square along with its resident.

“Come let us enjoy our tea in parlor, Lizzy, while it is still so nice and quiet.”

They carried in the tea things, and when Elizabeth went to put the tray down on the table she saw a package wrapped in brown paper that she hadn’t noticed before. At first she thought that Mr. Darcy must have forgotten some business papers in his haste to be gone, but when she turned the package over, she saw that it had been sent by a music shop to his address and that he had written in large letters across the top, “For Elizabeth”. Her heart beat a little faster as she unwrapped it and saw that it contained the libretto to The Magic Flute and the sheet music to the highlights of the opera. There was a note attached that read:

Dear Miss Bennet,

I hope the enclosed will enhance your enjoyment of the opera on Wednesday evening. I am looking forward to sharing the pleasures of Mozart with you.

Fitzwilliam Darcy

“Good evening, Saunders,” said Darcy, giving the man his hat and gloves.

“Mr. Bingley said no visitors, Mr. Darcy,” said the butler, making no attempt to halt his progress into the foyer.

“I know, Saunders. And please don’t let anyone else in – especially Miss Bingley or Mrs. Hurst. Has he been drinking?”

“Yes, Sir, quite heavily! Rather unusual for Mr. Bingley!”

“Yes, to be sure. Please have cook make a pot of strong coffee and tell her that we may want something light and simple a bit later – and omelet with some bread and cheese will do. We’ll ring for it.”

The butler nodded his understanding and shuffled off to inform cook while Darcy headed up the stairs – slowly this time, and with a very heavy heart. He found his friend in a chair in his dressing room, facing an open window, a bottle in his hand, his eyes glazed.

“Charles,” said Darcy softly, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Go home, Darce. There’s nothing you can do for me – let me be.”

“Please allow me to stay with you, Charles. I won’t say a word if you want it quiet.”

“For heaven’s sake, Darcy, please leave before I humiliate myself even further. I am not fit for company.”

“You have nothing to be embarrassed about in front of me! I’ve done it all – most shamelessly! Now, allow me to join you in a drink, Charles. Then we’ll have a light super with lots of black coffee. There’s no point in having a ghastly headache tomorrow on top of everything else.”

“I have no intention of waking tomorrow, so the state of my head will not signify. Besides, the thought of food revolts.”

“I can well understand that,” said Darcy, reaching for the bottle.

“Can you? Do you really think that you can understand what it feels like to have the woman you love call you a coward? Is that in your realm of experience, Darcy?” he said bitterly, “I think not!”

“No, it is not,” said Darcy seating himself beside his friend. “But Elizabeth did not hesitate let me know what she thought of me when she spurned my offer of marriage. She called me arrogant and conceited and said that I behaved in an ungentlemanlike manner. And, oh yes, her final cruelty was, that I was the last man in the world that she could ever be prevailed upon to marry! …and the look in her eyes….”

Charles Bingley stared at his friend, but said nothing.

“Charles, I have been in the depths of despair for many months and I have tried everything I could think of to ease my pain. I was totally unsuccessful and I will not sit here and tell you otherwise. But what I will tell you is that there is hope for us both. Time has a way of softening the harshest blow and miraculously things can change. On the journey to town I discovered that Elizabeth’s feelings have warmed towards me somewhat. This has given me renewed hope and a totally different view of what it is I must do. If Elizabeth, who started out despising me, can now look on me as a friend, then surely Miss Bennet, who loved you so dearly, can be persuaded to love you again.”

Bingley simply shook his head.

“It will no doubt, take time,” continued Darcy. “Today I had a painful setback. Elizabeth said some things that were very distressing – making me feel that she would never be able to accept me. And yet, my heart refuses to give her up…..and I shall not! Until the day she is wed to another I shall not stop trying to change her opinion of me. And you should do the same!”

“If Miss Elizabeth’s feelings have warmed towards you, Darcy, I am happy for you. But Jane will never want me back. Those precious feelings are gone forever!”

“Every woman wants to believe that the man she loves is willing to do battle for her hand, Charles. She is hurt and disappointed, but she cannot have changed her heart.”

“But she has no respect for me, Darcy. She thinks me weak and cowardly,” he said, working desperately to maintain his control.

“Then you must show her your strength, Charles; you must prove her wrong.”

“And how in the world am I to do that, Darcy?”

“By doing the very thing that will require all your courage and fortitude!”

“By facing her?”

“Exactly!”

“You want me to be in her company?” he asked incredulously. “You expect me to stand before her while she looks away with disdain?”

“I can’t think of a better way to prove your courage and your devotion! In time she will see you’re your love for her far exceeds any embarrassment you may be suffering. It will be obvious that you are willing to do anything to win back her love and that must surely touch her heart. If you show her that you are not willing to give her up and that you are convinced of her love for you, I think you have a good chance to win her. Despite her anger, a true attachment does not dissolve so easily. Join me in this Charles. We can help one another! Believe me, it will be much less painful than simply mourning for the all you have lost!”

Charles Bingley stared at his friend for quite some time. “You are truly a good friend, Darcy!” said Bingley, his eyes moist.

“Despite the fact that it is I who put you in this predicament to begin with?”

“Yes,” said Bingley, rising from his chair, “Jane has forced me to see that it is I alone who am to blame. I allowed a little pressure to cloud my judgment and did nothing to seek the truth out for myself. Worst of all, I didn’t even consider her feelings; I thought only of myself. I really don’t deserve to have her love and respect, Darcy, but I will fight for it nevertheless.”

“Good!” said Darcy with relief. “I am very glad, Charles! And I know just the place to begin! We are going to the opera! Oh, but we must procure a separate seat for you. Elizabeth has already warned me about interfering.” he grinned.

Chapter Nine

Posted on Monday, 20 September 2004

It was a routine that Elizabeth had come to observe whenever she visited Cheapside. She would rise very early to make her uncle’s breakfast, allowing her aunt to sleep in and giving herself the distinct pleasure of an intimate half hour with him. She loved their open and easy conversations, the shared confidences and quiet understandings. And she could speak to him as to no other – for he was part father figure, wise and well meaning, and part friend, always understanding and supportive.

She now sat watching him happily devouring the last of his muffin and gesturing for her to kindly refill his cup.

“So we are to attend the opera, I understand,” he said, grinning mischievously at her.

“Yes Uncle – Mr. Darcy has secured a box.”

“It was most generous of him to invite us all,” he said before taking another sip. “But it has occurred to me, dear Lizzy, that you and Jane did not come to town prepared for such a grand outing. You must both visit the shops this morning and see about new gowns for the occasion. After all, we cannot have you disgracing the family before the ton,” he teased.

“How thoughtful you are, dear Uncle! But I doubt that we could get anyone to make them up in time. There are but four days!”

“Ah, my dear Lizzy, I believe that given the right incentive you may find an eager seamstress to be of service to you,” said Mr. Gardiner, as he pressed a fifty-pound note into her hand.

“Uncle Gardiner! Fifty pounds! This is far too much money. I couldn’t possibly put you to such an expense!”

“My dear, sweet niece, you need not concern yourself about the money. For in truth, it is your Mr. Darcy who is paying for your finery.”

“Mr. Darcy?” Elizabeth was astonished by the remark.

“Of course, my dear. Mr. Darcy was exceedingly generous and insisted on paying me ten times my normal fee for my services. Then he would not accept payment for Clara and even insisted that she continue with us until Agnes returns! Besides, I am quite sure that I will continue to enjoy a good business relationship with him. My financial gain has been great since you have made the introduction, Lizzy, and I can well afford to spoil you girls a bit. But more importantly, it would give me great pleasure to have all of London see what exceptionally beautiful nieces I have and I wish you to feel as confident and as beautiful as you always look, dear Lizzy. Now see if you can’t cheer your sister up a bit with an elegant new gown.”

“Oh uncle Gardiner! I do love you so!” said Elizabeth, coming to kiss her uncle’s cheek. “I shall get Jane out of bed immediately. For if we are to be successful, we must truly hurry!

It had taken some persuasion to convince Jane to accompany her, and then, after visiting four different establishments, they had nothing but sore feet to show for their efforts. Jane begged to go home, but Elizabeth was determined to continue the search and dragged her grumbling sister into the next elegant shop on Bond Street. The proprietress was genuinely eager to be of service, but explained that receiving the fabric from the supplier often took a week or more.

“I am truly sorry that we are unable to help you,” she said, seeing them to the door and opening it.

They turned to exit when to their dismay, Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst came bursting through the door, smiling knowingly and making a great show of outrage and concern.

“Mrs. Winslow, did we hear you correctly? Did you say that you are unable to help these dear friends of ours? Why ever not? Cannot you make an exception – just to please us?” cooed Miss Bingley.

“I’m afraid I cannot, as much as I would like to, Miss Bingley. And I believe the ladies understand that I would help them if it were at all possible.”

“Well,” said Caroline, taking Elizabeth’s arm and pulling her to the side, “I suggest you try Bennington’s then, Miss Eliza. Mention my name and I am sure they will do everything they can to accommodate you.” She now lowered her voice to a whisper and added, “It is a very exclusive shop and we are well known to everyone there.”

Elizabeth’s entire body revolted at the feel of Miss Bingley’s hand on her arm. She had not smiled or even acknowledged her, and yet Caroline Bingley continued the charade of there being a warm acquaintance between them. Elizabeth nodded ever so slightly as she pulled away, not wishing Mrs. Winslow to become aware of any unpleasantness. She nodded to the proprietress and hastened out the door.

Jane, as pale as a ghost, and trembling with indignation, hurried after her. “Lizzy, you cannot possibly be thinking of going into that shop and using Caroline Bingley’s name!”

“Of course not,” seethed Elizabeth, “but if this shop caters to such an exclusive clientele, I have a name of my own to drop!”

But yet again, they were disappointed. “If only you could give us a few more days,” said Mrs. Bennington. “I am sorry to disappoint you, but it really is impossible. And I hope you will tell Miss Darcy that the problem lies with the fabric suppliers and not with us. I would hire three or four extra ladies to get your gowns done on time, but the fabric house we deal with only delivers once a week.”

“I do understand,” said Elizabeth unhappily. “Thank you for your time, Mrs. Bennington.

They had already turned to go when Mrs. Bennington called for them to wait and came running towards them with a piece of paper in hand.

“I suddenly thought of someone who might be eager for your business. A young German lady came here looking for work a few weeks ago. She was a master seamstress and we wanted very much to hire her, but she has small children and wanted to be able to work from home. We require that our ladies work here in the shop under our supervision; so regrettably, we could not come to any sort of arrangement. She did leave us her name and address however, and I am only too happy to share it with you. It is not in the best part of town, I’m afraid, but you might have better luck with someone in her situation.”

“But won’t she have the same trouble procuring the fabric,” asked Jane, eager to put an end to entire ordeal and return to the solitude of her room.

“She may have a local source for the fabric she uses. The fabrics may not be as fine as the French ones we buy, but you may find something to please you. It is possible, of course, that you may not even find her. These people tend to move about so often. But on the other hand, you may be fortunate. Good luck to you.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Bennington,” said Elizabeth, “Thank you very much!”

The cab ride lasted twenty minutes and throughout it, Jane grumbled about the futility of their efforts. Yet Elizabeth remained undaunted. Her motives were purely selfish for she could not bear the thought of arriving at the opera and stepping out of the Darcy coach in an old, faded frock. Of course she wanted to look her best – in truth, she wanted to dazzle him, but more importantly, she wished to avoid the whispers and disparaging remarks their simple appearance would surely inspire. She would not shame him – not if she could possibly help it.

A little girl, about eight or nine years old, answered their knock. Her neatly braided hair shone almost as brightly as her eyes.

“Ya, bitte, can I help you, please?”

“Yes, we are looking for Greta Brenner, the seamstress,” said Elizabeth, returning her warm smile.

“Ya, ya, that is my Muti … excuse me, my Mama. Please come in. I shall fetch her.”

The dilapidated exterior of the house had given them cause to be wary of what they would find inside, but to their astonishment they were ushered into a meticulously clean and beautifully decorated sitting room. The wooden furniture was simple and sparse, but everything that could be upholstered was, and beautifully so. The draperies, chairs and hassocks were tastefully coordinated, while the tablecloths and pillows were bordered with fine embroidery or lace. Clearly, Greta Brenner was a master at her craft, but what was even more impressive was her simple and refined taste. Elizabeth saw the change in her sister’s countenance and smiled.

Mrs. Brenner was removing her apron as she entered the sitting room and greeted them respectfully. “Good morning, ladies? How may I help you?”

“We were given your name and address by the proprietress of Bennington’s, Mrs. Brenner,” began Elizabeth. “We have come to London with only our every day gowns and suddenly find ourselves invited to the opera this coming Wednesday. Do you have the time to help us? We are willing to compensate you handsomely for your work.”

Greta Brenner beamed. “Oh yes, Miss. My sister and I work together, “ she said in a heavily accented English, “and I promise you that they will be done on time….that is, if we can start immediately. Do you have a special style in mind or would you like me to show you some samples and patterns?”

“Please show us your samples,” said Jane. “We are eager to see examples of your work.”

Mrs. Brenner brought out eight different models, each one more beautiful than the one before. The delicate workmanship on the necklines, the flowing folds that draped the body and the careful attention given to every detail impressed and excited them. Now all they had to do was decide! An impossible task! Mrs. Brenner took her measurements while they debated.

“Und now we must find the perfect fabrics for your gowns, ya ladies?” said Mrs. Brenner, helping them dress. “We will need to hire a cab, for it is too far to walk.”

This part of town made Cheapside look very fashionable, and Elizabeth and Jane glanced uncomfortably at one another as the streets became darker and narrower, the shop fronts shabbier - their signs faded and often unreadable. They stopped in front a warehouse whose windows showed no hint of what was sold inside, and the sign above the door was written in both English and a language neither Jane nor Elizabeth recognized. But Greta Brenner obviously knew her way around and felt very comfortable entering the establishment. Once inside, they too, breathed a sigh of relief as they beheld row upon row of rich upholstery fabric neatly displayed in a clean, airy room. They were introduced to the shop’s owner, Moses Finklestein, who led them up a flight of stairs into a large hall, the likes of which they had never seen. They gasped at the sight! The silks, brocades, velvets and wools were on one side of the immense room, while the toile, organza, chiffon and richly embroidered muslins were on the other. They had never seen such quality or such a selection! How were they ever to decide?

Happily, Moses Finklestein knew his merchandise and his business. He looked at the rough sketches that Greta Brenner had made, and observing his young customer’s coloring, made a number of thoughtful and discerning suggestions. The gentleman knew fashion and the particular characteristics of each of his fabrics – which materials had enough body to add structure to the cut of a garment and which would drape sensually about the figure. He understood the effects of candlelight on texture and pattern, and brought out laces and embroidered borders that would enhance the glow of a ladies complexion. Elizabeth and Jane left the warehouse feeling elated!

Fitzwilliam Darcy had taken great pains to plan the perfect evening. His staff had been given such particular instructions for the simple dessert reception that they immediately understood the significance of the evening and set to work to help their beloved Master make the right impression. Colonel Fitzwilliam had been enlisted to join in the little conspiracy on Bingley’s behalf, and the flower girl that worked the steps of the opera house was directed to have the very freshest and finest bouquets ready to be presented to the ladies. Only Georgiana had been left to be her sweet, innocent self. Darcy counted on her innate good nature to be most convincing, and therefore, the most helpful. All the physical arrangements had been seen to; it was his inner turmoil that had him feeling insecure and agitated!

More than anything, he wanted this to be a comfortable and entertaining evening for all his guests – filled with the delights of good music, easy conversation and natural laughter. He hoped, of course, for some intimate moments between himself and Elizabeth – a bit of flirting, a meaningful look or knowing smile. But how could he expect anything of the kind after having behaved so badly? Yet again, he had made a fool of himself! He now recognized that he had overreacted – transferring onto himself the sentiments that were meant for his friend – but it was too late! There was nothing to do but hope that Elizabeth would accept his apology and truly forgive him! Would there ever come a day when he could meet her without the necessity of begging her forgiveness for one thing or another? Those were his thoughts as he bounded up the stairs and came to knock on the Gardiners’ door.

Mr. Gardiner himself opened it to greet him, inviting him inside and commenting teasingly on his punctuality. “Oh, am I too early then?” asked Darcy, a bit flustered. “Do the ladies need more time? There is no need to hurry them; the curtain does not rise for another hour yet.”

“No, no, Mr. Darcy. Quite the contrary! The ladies… much to my surprise, made it their business to be ready early this evening. They are just kissing the children good night and will be out momentarily. Won’t you come into the sitting room for a glass of port? Or a whiskey perhaps?”

“Thank you, Mr. Gardiner, yes – a short one perhaps, I….”

It was at that moment that Elizabeth came into the foyer, and not having heard Darcy’s voice or knock, stopped short at the sight of him. A pink glow rose from the neckline of her gown to her brow, her eyes widened and her lips puckered slightly to form that beautiful “oh” that he found so endearing. He smiled and bowed deeply. She curtsied and after a moment’s embarrassment, looked up at him shyly. She was suddenly unsure of her choice of gown, the cut of the neckline, the deep red organza overlay. Perhaps…..

“Forgive me, Miss Bennet,” said Darcy, forcing himself to move his eyes from the bodice of her dress to her face, “but you’ve quite taken my breath away! You look exceptionally beautiful this evening.” He stepped forward to take hold of her hand and bring it to his lips.

She followed his eyes, observing the deepening color of his cheeks, the increasing rapidity of his breath and knew that her instincts had been correct. The subtle sensuality of the gown was having its desired effect. He was completely disconcerted and she could not have been more pleased.

“Thank you, Mr. Darcy,” she murmured, smiling warmly. “Is your sister waiting for us in the carriage? Shall I hurry the others?”

“No, no, Miss Bennet. I dropped my sister and Colonel Fitzwilliam at the Opera House on the way here. There would not have been enough room for all of us to ride comfortably, so you see there is no need to rush. We are in good time.”

“Then I shall inform the others that you are arrived and fetch my libretto. It was very kind of you to leave it for me, Mr. Darcy.”

His already sanguine face turned crimson as he thought of the way he had scrawled her name across the brown paper wrapper that, in his haste, he had forgotten to remove. “I…I must apologize, Miss Bennet for not presenting it to you properly…. I had meant to unwrap it and hand it to you myself. I’m afraid my behavior that afternoon was…”

“Mr. Darcy!” came Mrs. Gardiner’s voice from the hallway entrance. “I was not aware that you were already here and waiting for us? Edward, why did you not let me know?” she chided her husband as she gave her distinguished visitor her hand.

“I’ve just arrived, Mrs. Gardiner, and as I have been telling your niece, there is plenty of time.” He bowed to her and took her gloved hand, placing a kiss upon it. When he looked up, he saw Jane Bennet standing behind her aunt – a vision in pale blue satin. Poor Bingley! he thought. This will be especially difficult for him with her looking so lovely. And he gathered his own courage to face her and nodded to her saying. “You look very lovely, Miss Bennet. I feel truly honored to have your company this evening.” He held out his arm to escort her and felt the bitter pang of her rejection as she murmured her “thank you” but stepped to her uncle’s side and slipped her arm into his. He smiled understandingly and turned to give Mrs. Gardiner his right arm and Elizabeth his left. Thankfully, both ladies accepted, and they started on their way.

The short carriage ride was an uncomfortable affair although the Gardiners attempted to lighten the mood whenever they could with casual conversation. Jane, now feeling guilty for her behavior towards Darcy for her sister’s sake, sat quietly brooding – her eyes fixed on the strings of her reticule and her countenance somber. Elizabeth, distressed at the necessity of having to balance her loyalties between her sister and Mr. Darcy, and desperately trying to come up with a way to put them both at ease, remained silent, but was obviously agitated as well. For his part, Darcy felt no offense. He more than understood Miss Bennet’s feelings towards him – indeed, he was grateful that she had consented to come at all. But he was dismayed that his apology to Elizabeth had been cut short. For never having been a good judge of her state of mind, he felt extremely apprehensive and ached to know whether she had understood the reason behind his abrupt and ill-mannered departure. This evening, on which he had pinned so many of his hopes, was not starting well.

As the coach slowed to a stop before the great steps of the opera house, Darcy jumped out to help the ladies down himself. Mrs. Gardiner smiled and thanked him, as did Elizabeth, but Jane simply nodded and quickly turned away. Her sister stiffened in embarrassment. Perhaps she should not have worked so hard at convincing Jane to attend with them!

Their attention was immediately captured however by the sight of a bejeweled and feathered Miss Bingley coming slowly and regally towards them down the steps, her sister and brother-in-law in tow.

“Well now, Miss Eliza, …Jane! How glad I am to see that my influence paid off for you at Bennington’s. I must say that they outdid themselves for you! I will be sure to thank Mrs. Bennington the next time I am in,” Here she paused and waited for their words of appreciation, but when all she received was a simple nod of the head from Elizabeth, she felt the need to continue.

“Did you know, Mr. Darcy, that when our dear friends here were unable to get new frocks made for this occasion, I was able to direct them to a shop where, as a special favor to me, these lovely gowns were made?”

“Whatever would we all do without your kindly bestowed solicitude?” said Darcy sarcastically, as he drew Elizabeth’s arm closer to his side and gestured Mr. Gardiner to follow him up the stairs. Miss Bingley stood immobilized with indignation as the party silently passed her, nodding their greeting only to the Hursts.

“Thank you, Mr. Darcy. …Thank you,” whispered Elizabeth as they ascended the stairs and strode quickly towards the smiling faces that awaited them.

“Good evening Miss Darcy, Colonel Fitzwilliam!” said Elizabeth, so relieved to see them. Perhaps Miss Darcy’s amiability and Colonel Fitzwilliam’s charm and wit could help to salvage the evening. Introductions were made all around as the Colonel had not yet met the Gardiners or her sister, and Elizabeth thought she detected a look of pain in his eyes as he gazed upon the lovely young woman at whose expense he had amused himself so callously at Rosings. But she was determined to brighten everyone’s spirits and taking both Georgiana’s hands in hers, said laughingly, “I must thank you, Miss Darcy, for your very particular, although unconscious assistance in the purchase of our gowns! I hope you will not be offended that we mentioned our acquaintance with you at Bennington’s? Though they were not able to accommodate us themselves, Mrs. Bennington gave us the name of a very fine seamstress.”

“As is very evident!” said Miss Darcy, smiling broadly at her new friend. “Such exquisite workmanship and styling! You both look very beautiful!” She then turned her attention to the Gardiners and greeted them politely. “Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, how nice to see you again. I hope you are looking forward to our evening together?”

“Oh yes, Miss Darcy! We have all been waiting for this evening with such happy anticipation!”

“Good. I am so glad. Then perhaps we should make our way to the box and get settled. Shall we go in, Fitzwilliam?” she asked, looking to her brother whose attention was suddenly diverted by the sing-song cry of the flower girl coming their way.

“Yes, of course, Georgiana, if you would allow me a moment please,” he said, leaving their side and returning some seconds later with four exquisite little bouquets of the most fragrant and delicate flowers. He presented one to each of the ladies and then offered his arm to both Elizabeth and his sister. That gave Colonel Fitzwilliam the opportunity to be of service to Miss Bennet and she willingly gave him her arm and her attention.

The box was so spacious that there was no need for the gentlemen to create a second row. Instead, they were all able to sit side by side, and Mr. Darcy waited until everyone had chosen a seat before finding his own. Happily, the party had arranged themselves in such a way that left the one open seat next to Elizabeth in the far left corner of the box. It was a perfect arrangement, but it did little to calm his anxiety. Jane Bennet’s coldness, Miss Bingley’s demeaning display and the apology that still loomed over him made it impossible for him to be calm. He took his seat and pretended to concentrate on the program notes before him.

“Ah, I am glad to see the all the singers are well and that there are no substitutions this evening,” he said, remembering his obligations as host.

“Yes,” said Mr. Gardiner, “I am most anxious to hear Violetta DeMartini! She has an outstanding reputation, but we have never had the privilege to hear her before.”

Just then, a footman entered the box with an exquisite bouquet of flowers, somewhat larger than the one Darcy had chosen for the ladies. “These are from a gentleman sitting in the orchestra for a Miss Jane Bennet,” he said, looking around the box for the bearer of that name. Jane startled momentarily, but then sat rigidly, her eyes cast down and fixed on the floor.

“Yes, thank you,” said Mrs. Gardiner, accepting them for her niece and then handing them to her with a sympathetic smile.

Jane had no choice but to take them, and lay them across her lap without admiring them or opening the attached note.

“You must be besieged with admirers, Miss Bennet,” said Colonel Fitzwilliam, “ to have so little curiosity as to the sender of such a beautiful bouquet.”

Having been embarrassed into action, Jane blushed and murmured something about being surprised by the gift. She then opened the card slowly, struggling to keep her hands from trembling as she did so.

Dear Miss Bennet,

Please forgive the intrusion, but I simply had to tell you how very beautiful you look this tonight. I hope these blooms add to your enjoyment of the evening.

Charles Bingley

She refolded the note and smiled meekly at her aunt. “It is from Mr. Bingley,” she murmured, and put the note in her reticule. Her aunt nodded and said nothing, while Colonel Fitzwilliam grinned and offered, “A man in love, no doubt!”

Jane, now beet red with embarrassment, looked away as she heard Miss Darcy whispered excitedly to her cousin, “How wonderful! I had no idea Mr. Bingley was so fond of Miss Bennet.”

Not knowing what to do or where to look, she allowed her eyes to roam the lively crowd of finely dressed people below her and there, standing and gazing up at her unabashedly, was Charles Bingley! His sad smile brightened a bit at her notice of him and his eyes spoke directly to her heart. He was begging for a smile, a nod of recognition – anything form of communication at all. She closed her eyes and turned away.

Why was he doing this to her? Why could he not accept her decision and leave her be! Didn’t he understand how painful this was for her? She hated herself for the fuss she was making – torturing her family with her brooding and pathetic sadness. It was not her way to draw such attention to herself or allow others to feel sorry for her, but although she still felt herself justified in her decision, she had to admit that her heart ached for him. She had hurt herself as much as she had hurt him and was not unaffected by his suffering. To see him standing there looking so forlorn and unhappy, to know that he still hoped beyond hope….

The sound of the orchestra tuning their instruments pulled her out of her reverie, and as the house lights went down she breathed a sigh of relief. At least now, she could not be scrutinized so closely!

At the other end of the box, Fitzwilliam Darcy shifted his position on his chair. For the past ten minutes he had sat rigidly in his seat, not daring to move a muscle for fear of brushing up against Elizabeth who was only a few inches away from him. How he wanted to lean towards her, to “accidentally” touch her hand and to allow himself the pleasure of gazing into those fine eyes. He dared not.

Elizabeth sat stiffly in her seat as well. Why was this man so pigheaded! Couldn’t he see how she had fussed and prepared for this evening? Could her smiles be any warmer or her looks be any more encouraging? Why on earth would she have selected such a dress if not to let him know that she cared for him and wanted to please him! What was she to do?

Her father had written two days earlier to hurry their return once the Gardiners were well, and she had delayed her reply so that they could keep their engagement for the opera. If she and Fitzwilliam did not come to some sort of understanding about their feelings for one another now, she might leave London and perhaps never see him again. It was too painful to even consider! Despite her resolve to proceed slowly, she knew she had to act now. She closed her eyes in search of an answer.

It is too ridiculous! It’s the oldest and most common trick in the book! He’ll see right through it and you’ll be mortified! Don’t do it! And with that she let her libretto slip from her hands onto the floor.

He immediately bent to retrieve it – as did she. Their foreheads touched in the darkness as their hands grasped the libretto but a few centimeters apart. He turned to look at her; her lips parted as she drew in an agitated breathe and looked beseechingly at him. His jaw slackened, an expression of astonishment and disbelief washing over his face. She gave him a faint and hopeful smile and she drew her little finger, slowly and deliberately, across the back of his hand. He stiffened, his eyes wide with incredulity!

“Lizzy,” whispered Mrs. Gardiner, “Is everything all right?”

“Oh yes, Aunt,” responded Elizabeth, straightening quickly and bringing the fallen libretto to her lap. “I just dropped this,” she gestured, smiling. He had once again pressed himself against the wall and was staring blankly at the stage as if nothing at all had happened between them. This was what she had feared. She closed her eyes in utter humiliation!

After some ten minutes of self-reproach, she decided that she had nothing more to lose and allowed her arm to hang at her side between them. She tried desperately to focus on the antics on stage to help her remain calm, but the wait seemed interminable! Then suddenly, finally , she felt his knuckles brush, ever so lightly, against hers. She drew in a breath and returned the caress. He began to stroke the tips of her fingers, sending shivers of relief and happiness down her spine. She leaned towards him, turning her hand so that her palm was more accessible to him and he slipped his hand into hers and pressed it. She responded with a little squeeze, and his grip now tightened so decidedly that she no longer knew where her hand ended and his began. She turned her face to smile at him in the darkness, and his loving gaze was already awaiting hers. The music swelled to a crescendo, lifting their heart in breathless anticipation, but there was nothing on stage that could draw their eyes away from one another.

Chapter 10

Posted on Sunday, 26 September 2004

Suddenly everyone around them was milling about, chatting noisily about the performance and their need to stretch their legs and obtain some refreshment. They were both startled and stunned! When had the conductor put down his baton or the singers left the stage? They separated quickly, mingling in among the rest of the party with a particular determination to appear easy and fully aware of all that had been going on around them.

Mr. Darcy sought out his sister to inquire as to her enjoyment of the performance and after a moment of collaboration, suggested that they seek some refreshment. Turning to give Elizabeth his arm, he saw that she had already attached herself to her uncle and gave her a warm and approving grin. Perhaps a bit of distance was best just now, for he was sure that everyone could sense the sensual tension that surged through him when he was close to her. The small group left the box and became part of the moving throng.

The ladies graciously accepted the offered flutes of sparkling wine and sipped as they watched the parade of elegant and happy people move about them. Some smiled and nodded in their direction, while others allowed their eyes to travel up and down their person only to whisper as inconspicuously as possible behind their fans. Several of Darcy’s friends stopped to be introduced with what seemed a genuine desire to become acquainted.

Elizabeth’s jaw ached from smiling. She desperately needed a cooling drink, but the wine was simply out of the question. The last thing she needed now was a stimulant that would cloud her judgment even further. Hopefully she would have the opportunity to excuse herself and pour some cool water on her wrists before they returned to the box. She could only imagine the color of her cheeks. They probably rivaled the color of her dress!

“Perhaps you’d prefer this, Miss Bennet,” came his deep, comforting voice from behind her. “Trust me,” he whispered, “it is only water with a sprits of lemon.” He put his own goblet to his lips and downed the last of his port, then smiled at her appreciative sigh.

“I never knew you to be so observant, Mr. Darcy. I’m flattered.”

“I’ve always been observant where you are concerned, Miss Bennet. Only, I believe you always thought me looking to find fault.”

She blushed. “I suppose there is a great deal that I have yet to learn about you, Mr. Darcy.” She looked up at him with a self-satisfied and cheeky grin, only to see his countenance suddenly turn anxious. Following his gaze, she saw Mr. Bingley heading towards them – a tentative smile on his lips.

Darcy stepped forward to greet him and Elizabeth immediately recognized the gesture as an attempt to assure his friend that he was welcome among them. It must take great courage for Bingley to do this! she thought. What must he be thinking?

“Charles, how are you?” said Darcy, taking his hand. “I believe you know everyone here.”

“Yes of course,” said Bingley, bowing to Mrs. Gardiner. “How do you do, Mrs. Gardiner, Mr. Gardiner. I’m very pleased to see you again.” He turned to the three young ladies standing together, bowed to each of them and came to stand directly before Miss Bennet.

“I hope you are enjoying this evening’s performance, Miss Bennet?” he said, looking at her adoringly.

“Yes, thank you,” she murmured, casting her eyes towards the floor.

His gaze did not waver. “The beauty of the music is to be expected, of course, but I am always amazed at Mozart’s intrinsic understanding of human nature – even when the situation is ridiculous. Have you noticed that as well?” he asked, desperately hoping to make contact with those beautiful blue eyes.

She nodded without daring to look up, however.

There was an uncomfortably long pause before Miss Darcy stepped forward to address Mr. Bingley. “Charles, we are all going home for sweets and drinks after the performance. You must come! You’ll be such a welcome addition to our party. Forgive me for not thinking to invite you earlier, but I had no idea that you’d be here this evening.”

“Thank you, Miss Darcy,” he said smiling at her with his characteristically amiable expression. He looked to Jane, who still anxiously studied the intricate pattern on the carpeting, and shook his head. “It is very kind of you to invite me, but I have an important early morning appointment. I should retire early so that I am at my best. But I certainly hope you all have a very pleasant time together.” Here he bowed again and left them all smiling weakly at one another as Jane Bennet audibly released a sigh and then raised her eyes to look somewhat longingly after the departing gentleman.

It was at that moment that Colonel Fitzwilliam returned with a fresh drink in his hand and asked, in the most innocent voice, “Was that your besotted Prince Charming, Miss Bennet? He left rather quickly, I must say. Why did you not encourage him to join us?”

“Richard!” hissed Darcy.

“I’m sorry. Did I say something amiss? Forgive me, Miss Bennet, if my teasing offended you. I just assumed…..”

By then Darcy was at his cousin’s side, guiding him by the elbow to a corner of the room where they exchanged a few serious words before returning rather soberly to escort their guests back to the box.

“Please forgive my cousin’s impertinent remarks, Miss Bennet. He sometimes displays the social graces of a schoolboy.”

Anxiety and agitation were the key emotions felt by Mr. Darcy and Miss Bennet until they were finally seated again and the performance resumed. It was Darcy who now took the initiative and allowed his arm to drop to his side, turning his palm upward in an obvious offering of his hand.

The lady accepted it.

But the gentleman was no longer content his caress only her hand – stroking, ever so lightly her wrist and forearm, even venturing once or twice to the crook of her elbow. There were moments when the sensation simply overwhelmed her and she was forced to place her hand in her lap for a time to regain her composure. But when she once again felt calm and settled, she returned her hand to what she knew would now become its natural resting place.

After being warmly welcomed into the foyer and relieved of their outer garments, the entire party was led into the music room by Miss Darcy at the request of her brother, who had managed, with commendable discretion, to signal Elizabeth to lag behind. When the last of her family had disappeared through the arched doorway, he drew her towards him, taking both her hands in his. His countenance, which had been bright and easy before the rest of his guests, was now seriously grave.

“Please tell me that what happened earlier this evening was not a dream, Miss Bennet?” he said with great urgency and emotion.

Elizabeth smiled archly. “I certainly hope that you are not asking me to pinch you, Mr. Darcy! For I fear that I’ve already behaved shamelessly this evening and would not want to further damage your opinion of me.”

“Please Elizabeth, do not tease me now,” he pleaded.

“I cannot speak to your state of mind, Mr. Darcy, but I was fully awake and very happy to be the recipient of your tender affection.” She looked lovingly into his eyes, a well-pleased smile playing upon her lips.

He stared at her for a moment, as if still unable to grasp this new and wonderful turn of events, and gently placing his hand on the back of her neck, pulled her toward him. He had moved to kiss her when Jane’s voice echoed in the foyer.

“Lizzy?… Are you …? Oh! I’m so sorry,” she said upon seeing them – dreadfully embarrassed and even more surprised. She turned to go. It was obvious that she had been so selfishly involved with her own unhappiness that she had blocked out any possibility of her sister still having feelings for Mr. Darcy. She knew Elizabeth had been hurt and disappointed by his interference as well, so how could she possibly …? “He may be far from being a perfect man, but he is the perfect one for me.” Remembering her sister’s words, she felt ashamed. How blind she had been.

“Miss Bennet please, won’t you wait for us?” Darcy said, striding quickly towards her. “We were just about to go in ourselves, but as you are here, I wonder if you would allow me to speak to you. What I wish to say will only take a moment.” He looked hopefully and intently at her, watching her squirm under his scrutiny. He waited as she searched Elizabeth’s face for guidance and then turned her attention towards him, nodding slightly.

“Miss Bennet,” he began, “First let me say that I am well aware that my interference was unforgivable, and you need not distress yourself with the thought of my seeking your understanding or forgiveness. I do not expect or deserve it. But I do wish to say how deeply sorry I am for all the pain I have caused both you and Charles. I have for many months thought it important to tell you that it was never anything you said or did that prompted my selfish intervention. You always conducted yourself with the utmost grace and decorum, your manners were impeccable and your sweet and generous nature clearly evident. You did not deserve to be treat in such a way. I am truly sorry.”

Her eyes misted as she continued to look steadily into his. He had been right. Although it had pained her to hear it, she was glad to know that she had done nothing that would deem her unworthy of marrying Charles Bingley, that she had, in fact, earned his esteem for the way she had behaved, and that he recognized it.

“I appreciate your letting me know, Mr. Darcy,” she said softly.

He closed his eyes in momentary relief, and then nodded to her appreciatively.

Elizabeth came to press her sister’s hand, her eyes bright and brimming with affection.

When Darcy offered his arm to Miss Bennet this time, she accepted it, and he was proud and happy to escort both ladies into the music room.

Their conversation was light and lively as they savored the delicacies Darcy’s chef had painstakingly prepared. They enjoyed an assortment of aperitifs, as well as tea and the very finest chocolate Elizabeth had ever tasted. She and Georgiana took turns at the piano, playing themes from the opera and attempting, at times, to imitate the high coloratura arpeggios, only to dissolve into laughter at their failure to reach such heights. Even Jane found amusement in their antics – her mood only changing when Miss Darcy would lament, from time to time, Mr. Bingley’s refusal to join them.

The time passed all too quickly and soon Mrs. Gardiner was eyeing her husband with an obvious signal that they should go. They thanked their hosts most graciously, who in turn expressed their appreciation to them for making such an enjoyable evening possible. Several of the household staff soon appeared to help everyone on with their clothing and Elizabeth, recognizing one of the ladies, suddenly called out in obvious delight.

“Martha! I had no idea you were in service to Mr. Darcy’s household! How good to see you.” She smiled warmly at the embarrassed and fretful servant, who glanced quickly at her master’s astonished face and then cast her eyes down respectfully.

“Mr. Darcy,” said Elizabeth, determined to bring some relief to the uncomfortable situation she had created as quickly as possible, “ I must commend you on the character and generous nature of your staff. I was being taken shamefully advantage of by every tradesman in the market until this kind lady took me under her wing, She taught me how to choose my vegetables, where to shop for the freshest produce, and gave me the courage to insist on the finest cuts of meat – even encouraging me to flirt with the butcher.”

“Lizzy!” cried Mrs. Gardiner, raising her gloved had to her mouth in laughter.

“Well, it is true,” said Elizabeth, eyeing Darcy with an impertinent grin. “Before Martha became my mentor I was bringing home the worst cuts of meat at the highest prices. Uncle Gardiner, you have this dear lady to thank for the roast you so enjoyed yesterday, for she helped me choose it. And I hope to see you in the morning, Martha. I don’t believe there is an onion or potato left in the house.”

Martha nodded, bowed and quickly disappeared to save herself any further humiliation, for she had been conditioned to be invisible, and the young lady’s praise was most unsettling – if not possibly detrimental.

“Do you go to the market every morning, Miss Bennet?” asked Darcy, his eyes gleaming playfully.

“Oh, probably only three times a week. Clara, of course, has offered to go, but I quite enjoy the outing. It helps to calm my restless nature to ramble about among the stalls. I believe it is the next best thing to the country lanes of Hertfordshire.”

It was five thirty in the morning when Elizabeth rose to wash and dress before preparing her uncle’s breakfast and accompanying him part of the way to his office on her route to the market. Jane turned restlessly at the familiar sounds coming from the kitchen. Lizzy was up so early and she had not yet closed her eyes.

She mind had not allowed her any rest, flitting from thought to thought, from memory to memory in a futile attempt to sort out her tortured feelings. Elizabeth’s words echoed once again in her consciousness. He may not be the perfect man…” Jane Bennet had no doubt of her sister’s unfaltering love and devotion to her. But she also knew her to be sensible and forgiving – at least where people she cared for were concerned. Her love for Mr. Darcy must be very strong indeed for her to have accepted his flaws and forgiven his transgressions. Perhaps that was the key to Lizzy’s ability to embrace life so positively. Being a “connoisseur of human folly”, as her father often called her, she had come to understand that none were without fault. What mattered most was coming to recognize which faults one could truly tolerate in a mate.

It occurred to her that the very aspects of Charles’s personality that had prompted him to give her up where the ones that had made her fall in love with him in the first place. He was cheerful and easy, eager to please and, like herself, believed in the basic goodness of everyone around him. How pleased she had been to observe the contrast between his attitude towards the neighborhood with that of Mr. Darcy. Although she had not found Mr. Darcy’s behavior quite so appalling as her sister, there was no doubt that he was a man not easily pleased. She had thanked G-d for Charles’s happy disposition and desire to be liked. He would give almost any man his kind attention and find it difficult to be oppositional. Wonderful traits in a devoted and loving husband! …. most of the time.

So it came down to this. Would enjoying Charles’s good qualities on a daily basis be worth the risk that his sometimes naïve and trusting nature could come to hurt them? Could she be happy knowing that his decisions could easily be influenced by others? ….Well, …actually,…now that she thought about it,….if they had a close and loving relationship, which, despite everything that had happened, she had no doubt of, …would she not be the strongest influence in his life? Would she not be part of every important decision concerning their life together? And would Charles not wish to please her above all others?…. She heard Lizzy and her uncle chatting amiably in the kitchen, and somehow finding herself less tense, drifted off to sleep.

He had left his townhouse at five, and now, some two and a half hours later, his stomach was grumbling discontentedly as he paced the alley adjacent to the market square. He had been watching them wander from stall to stall, buying carrots and leeks, examining the eyes and gills of fish, laughing heartily at one thing or another, and his patience was running thin. He cursed Martha’s “generous nature!” Why in the world was it taking so long?

He watched the genuinely warm smile she directed at his servant and shook his head. This was to be the next Mistress of Pemberley – a woman who could give equal attention and respect to a servant as to an Earl! What would they make of her? He chuckled. She will have them all eating out of the palm of her hand in no time, he thought. I suspect she’ll even melt Aunt Catherine’s heart eventually. … Well, maybe not.” He chuckled again, thoroughly enjoying the show before him.

When they finally separated, he followed her at a discreet distance, waiting for her to pass the quiet street where the carriage was waiting. He laughed at the quickness of her gate, though his own long legs still took one stride to her three. He suddenly made a dash around the block, having decided to surprise her at the corner by the flower shop. He was breathless and gloriously happy when she startled at the sight of him.

“Mr. Darcy! Where ever did you come from?” she asked, not looking at all unhappy to see him.

“I’ve been buying flowers, Miss Bennet. I was told that this is an excellent shop.”

“And did you leave your blooms with the proprietor, Sir?” she asked, looking at his empty hands.

“No, no, Madam, they’ve been delivered.”

“Lucky lady indeed,” she said teasingly, as he came to unburden her of her basket and packages.

“I do hope the lady will approve,” he said far too seriously and Elizabeth suddenly felt the physical tension between them increase one hundred fold. She walked quietly by his side.

“May I take you home, Miss Bennet? Your packages are rather heavy.”

“Yes, thank you,” she murmured, her eyes remaining fixed on the pavement.

“My carriage is just at the end of this street.”

“Your carriage? Oh,.. I think it might be best if we walk, Mr. Darcy. I would not want anyone to see me entering your…”

“This street is very quiet, I assure you!” he interrupted. “The shops are not yet open and there is no one about. I would not risk … I have taken every precaution.”

When she still looked uneasy, he stopped to take her hand and said softly, “You once said that we would never again have the privacy or time together that we enjoyed on the Post. We can steal a bit of that time now, if you are willing to risk it.”

She was trembling when she finally looked up at him. Barely able to breathe, she simply nodded and allowed him to lead the way.

She blushed profusely when the driver tipped his hat to her and then accepted the packages that were handed up to him. Darcy opened the carriage door and placing his hands upon her waist, lifted her up. She took the step without taking her eyes off his face.

When she turned to be seated, a barely audible gasp escaped her lips as she gazed, open mouthed, at the beauty before her. She turned back to him in awe and then, drawn so powerfully by the glorious effect, turned again to stare at the white floral canopy he had created for them. The entire interior of the carriage – its walls and ceiling – had been covered with a fine white net, into which had been woven thousands of white blossoms of every shade and texture – tiny drops of moisture glistening on their petals. They formed a bower so lovely, so very intimate, that it seemed as if all of nature had conspired to make them happy. She lowered herself onto the white silk cushions, inhaling the delicate fragrance and waited for him to come and sit beside her.

But he settled himself on the seat facing her, tapped twice for James to be on his way, and bent to take her hands in his once more. They rode in silence for a few moments, gazing longingly at one another in intoxicating anticipation.

When James managed to attain a slow and steady gate, Darcy lowered himself to kneel before her. She drew in a much-needed breath, her eyes already moist and gleaming.

“Miss Bennet,” he said, with a most tender look – his voice husky with emotion, “would you allow me to try once again to tell you how much I admire and love you?”

A tiny smile formed on her lips as she nodded to him.

“My heart knew that I loved you long before my mind could even comprehend it, no less accept it. And although my feelings for you were genuine when I first approached you at Hunsford, how little I knew then about the meaning of true love! I knew I wanted you… nay, I knew I needed you to make my life meaningful and happy, but I don’t believe I ever stopped to question whether you loved or needed me.

These past six months have been painful indeed, for once the initial anger and resentment had passed, I came to realize that it was I, who did not deserve you. Your strength, your loving and caring nature, your wit and intelligence were gifts reserved for someone truly worthy, and surely that was not me. I do not pretend to understand how I have come to be blessed with a second chance to win you, but as you have been so generous and forgiving, I wish to beg you once more to become my wife. I will not tell you that I am a changed man – but I am trying to change and will endeavor, every day of my life, to make you proud and happy that you accepted me. That is… if you will have me, Elizabeth. Please … ” he murmured, lowering his eyes.

The gentle pressure of her hands on his fingers gave him the courage to look up and there, on that precious face, he saw the loving gaze that needed no interpretation. Overcome with relief and excitement, he immediately came to sit beside her and moved to claim her lips, his arms enveloping her and pressing her to him. She was taken aback at first at the suddenness and intensity of his passion, but within moments she lost herself in the sweetness of his mouth and the warmth of his caresses. She melted into him and allowed herself to enjoy the overpowering sensations.

He suddenly ended their kiss and pulled back a bit to look into her eyes. “Please forgive my impatience, Madam. I believe it is usually customary to allow a lady to accept a proposal before taking such liberties. I hope I have not offended you?” he teased.

“I am not offended, Sir,” she said with a shy smile, “for I believe you knew my answer when you came to sit beside me. But if you require a verbal response, I would be happy to give it.”

“It would make me very happy to hear it, Miss Bennet.”

She hesitated for a moment and then began.

“For many months now I have hoped against hope that you and I would meet again and have the opportunity rediscover one another. When my anger and defensive resentment were gone and I realized how terribly I had misjudged you, your face and words took up permanent residence in my mind and heart. And I began to love you. Is it possible for love to blossom in such a way? I was so distressed and confused that I did not know what to think or if I could trust my emotions. So when we stumbled on one another on the Post, I could not believe my good fortune and shamelessly promoted our continued acquaintance – as you well know. Our meetings this past week have more than confirmed my feelings, Mr. Darcy. … I love you, so completely. I only hope you can believe the sincerity of my affection. I would never want you to doubt…”

Here he silenced her with a passionate kiss that took her breath away and when he finally drew back, he whispered, “How could I doubt it, Elizabeth? You could have simply said yes, and never made me privy to your inner turmoil. I am touched and honored that you would open your heart to me so completely! I love you so!”

She reached up to stroke his face and he turned his head to fill her palm with kisses, murmuring, “I will leave for Hertfordshire tomorrow to speak to your father and then return as soon as may be to obtain a special license.”

“Oh, no! We can’t! Not yet!” she cried, withdrawing from his embrace and straightening herself up in the seat.

“Why ever not?” he said, his face crestfallen.

“It is too soon! I cannot do this to Jane. It is too cruel! Oh, Fitzwilliam, you must understand!”

“What are you saying, Elizabeth? What would you have us do?” he asked in disbelief.

“We must wait. We must give her time to adjust to what has happened and make peace with her decision before we thrust this news upon her. She is my elder sister, Fitzwilliam! I have always assumed that she would be the first to marry and I know how painful this will be for her.”

“I don’t agree, Elizabeth! Jane loves you! She will be extremely happy for you! She would never want you to deny your own happiness to spare her feelings! I am sure of it.”

“I do not mean that we should hold off until she herself is wed. I only wish to give her more time … three months, perhaps. That is reasonable, is it not? Can you wait for three months, Fitzwilliam? I would be so very grateful for your patience.”

He looked at her lovingly. His mind raced with all the possible arguments he could make, but he simply nodded and said, “Elizabeth, I would wait for you till the end of time … and that is exactly what three months are going to feel like!”

She released a nervous little laugh and drew his hand to her lips. “Thank you, my love. I promise you that no matter what, you will go to my father at that time and I shall press him for a short engagement.”

A short engagement? Darcy’s head reeled. He had conveniently forgotten about all those stupid and unnecessary conventions that did nothing but torture young people in love and ready to start their lives together! How long would it be until she was truly his? How could he bear the wait?

“It will be a very difficult secret to keep, I know, but we must do it – for Mr. Bingley, as well as Jane.”

“Perhaps,” said Darcy, still unconvinced that this was the right thing to do. “But I know one person who will be terribly distressed when you return home to Hertfordshire without any understanding between us. Although she knows nothing of my proposal today, she is not insensitive to my feelings for you. It would hurt me deeply to deliberately keep her wondering, or worse, lie to her, Elizabeth. I wish to tell Georgiana. She will keep our secret, I assure you.”

“Of course, you are right. Georgiana should know. How difficult it will be not to fly into her arms and embrace her when next we meet!” replied Elizabeth. “I know you think I am wrong to insist on this, but I believe it to be for the best and I adore you for respecting my wishes, Fitzwilliam.” She leaned in to kiss him again, her heart so full of love for him.

“I think you should leave me off a few blocks away from home, Fitzwilliam. My aunt will be frantic if I am not home soon. And the fish must be spoiled by now!” she laughed.

As they slowed to a stop, he plucked a blossom from the netting and presented it to her, but she refused it. “It will be difficult enough to pretend that I had a normal morning at the market without this precious reminder of you. Thank you for this wonderful gift, Fitzwilliam. I shall carry it in my heart always.”

Continued In Next Section

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