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Posted on Tuesday, 5 February 2002
January 1
By 1 AM, Lizzy had washed the champagne glasses and loaded the plates into the dishwasher. She walked back to the living room and checked on the candle. It was nearly out.
"Another New Year," she sighed. Staring at the tiny flame, she thought about the evening. Will Darcy was turning out to be an interesting man. Not as lively as his cousin, and certainly hard to get to know. In retrospect, she thought, most of their conversations this evening had been impersonal. They had talked about Georgie, and Anne, and Richard. But very little about themselves.
He had been very serious all night. She had seen flashes of humor before, but except for the joking about the candle when they were talking on the phone, there was no teasing, no joking.
Perhaps he's shy? No, she rejected that theory immediately. A successful businessman would have gotten over shyness a long time ago.
He said he wasn't seeing anyone. No, that can't be true. Maybe he just doesn't have someone who would be a good ally in an attempt to maneuver Anne and Richard together. But he didn't have a date for his own Christmas party. Could a man like that not have a girlfriend?
The candle went out, and Lizzy went to bed. As she lay there, she thought again of Darcy. He had made a remark about Georgie being the only one of the cousins with a social life. Had he been serious? Lizzy recalled her early impression that Darcy was fiercely protective of Georgie. What had Charlotte said? Something about Georgie having had a bad experience and that's why they moved to New York.
Georgie, she thought, just before she fell asleep. He's being friendly because I'm Georgie's friend. He probably just wants to be friends. But what do I want?
By 1 AM, Darcy was back in his apartment. He didn't know how late Georgie would be, and he didn't want it to look as if he had waited up for her. He wondered if he should say anything about spending the evening with Lizzy. He checked the answering machine. Caller ID brought up one call from his aunt at 9:30. He played the message.
"William? Ah, you must have gone to bed already. Good. I just wanted to check on you. Get plenty of sleep and don't forget to drink fluids. Very important in fighting that virus. We all wish you a happy New Year, my dear boy. Anne misses you dreadfully."
Darcy groaned at the reference to Anne. He realized that it was time to disabuse Aunt Catherine of her fantasy. All the more reason to get to work on this Anne-Richard project. The phone rang again and, warily, he checked the caller ID. It was Anne's private line. Just to be safe, he waited for the message to begin.
"Darce? Have you gone to bed already? You-" He picked up the phone.
"Anne! Happy New Year. Thanks for the care package. I, uh." He stopped, wondering what Anne would say if she knew he had ducked out on the party and gone to Lizzy's instead. Always one to opt for discretion, he said nothing about it. "I enjoyed them, especially the mushroom things."
"Glad you liked them. The food was the best part of the party. Otherwise it was a bore. So many of Mother's friends' boring sons were there. Honestly, why do Mother's friends all have sons who are pathologically boring? And even that wouldn't be so bad but I swear to you, each and every one of them likes to dance. And each and every one of them stepped on my toes."
"Poor you!" laughed Darcy.
"It isn't funny. I'll be limping for days!"
"So is the party over?"
"No, I just needed to escape for a bit. I'll have to go back down in a minute. Happy New Year, Darce."
"Happy New Year, Anne."
Darcy set down the phone and walked into the living room. He turned on the gas fireplace ands stared into the flames.
He thought about his resolution to help Anne. Poor Anne, in love with Richard all this time. "Unrequited love's a bore." Isn't that a line from a song, he asked himself. What's worse, he wondered, years of unrequited love, or years of no love at all?
Not that he resented Georgie for the years he had spent raising her. Being busy consoling her and taking care of her had helped him avoid dealing with his own grief over his parents' deaths. And Georgie made a convenient excuse whenever Richard or Aunt Sue asked about his love life. "Too busy," he'd always said. "You know, the business, Georgie." He had to admit it, he had been hiding out from the world and social pressures.
He thought of his other resolution, made this very night. Lizzy. Should he really pursue her? She's Georgie's friend. What if she's only being friendly to me because I'm Georgie's brother? I would hate to do something that would create an awkward situation for Georgie.
Lizzy. She had said that she wanted a man who would find her more extraordinary than other women. Presumably, she was also waiting for a man whom she would find more extraordinary than other men she had met. He knew that he was extraordinary in some ways-wealth, social status, business expertise. But somehow he thought those were not characteristics that would impress Lizzy.
They had talked about a great many subjects that evening, but had mostly stayed away from anything very personal. They had talked about the kinds of things one would discuss with a friend. Perhaps friendship was all Lizzy wanted? It had been a long time since Darcy had had more than a fleeting relationship with a woman. He wasn't even sure he remembered how to start. Maybe friendship would be a good beginning.
Darcy didn't know what time he fell asleep. At 2:30, Georgie shook his shoulder gently.
"Will?" It's late, you fell asleep."
"What time is it?" he asked, yawning.
"Late. How long have you been sitting there?"
"Hours, I guess. Anne called about one, then I came in here and sat by the fire."
"Oh." Georgie frowned, Then it didn't work after all.
"Did Kitty get the message I left on your phone?"
"Message?"
"About the earring."
"Oh, right, yes. I told her."
"Good, because either you gave me the wrong number or I wrote it down wrong. When I tried to call you back I got a wrong number."
"Oh, sorry." Georgie recited several curse words to herself. Disappointed that her plan had gone awry, she yawned and turned to leave the room. Darcy called her back.
"You didn't tell me how your party was."
"It was good. There were lots of people there, and not everyone had a date. So Kitty felt comfortable being there without Sandy. They played music and we danced. We played charades for a while, too. I haven't done that in ages."
"And?"
"And what? Oh, OK Mr. Inquisitor, yes there was drinking, no there wasn't raging drunkenness. Anything else?"
He stood up. "Yes. Come wish your aged brother happy New Year."
Laughing, she threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. "Happy New Year, Will. I'm sorry you spent it alone."
He kissed the top of her head and said softly, "Oh, it wasn't so bad."
Darcy and Georgie were enjoying a quiet breakfast when Richard bounced into the apartment.
"So, how is everyone's hangover this morning?"
"We're just fine, thanks!" laughed Georgie.
Darcy looked up from his coffee and sighed, "Richard, if you were a character out of A. A. Milne, you'd be Tigger. Must you always be so bouncy?"
"Well, if I'm Tigger, you're Eeyore-always the gloomy one." Richard helped himself to a muffin. "Mm, good muffin! Are these from Mrs. R's stash in the freezer?"
"No! I made them this morning," replied Georgie in a "so there!" tone of voice.
"Well, Gorgeous, all those hours spent playing with your Susie Homemaker Play Oven paid off." He reached for another one. "Yummy!"
"How late did you work, Richard?" asked Darcy.
"Very late. In fact, I'm just now getting home. All this bounce and bravado is for show. I will now use my last few remaining moments of consciousness to go to my apartment and collapse onto the bed. Happy New Year, you two!"
"Good morning Jane, Happy New Year, sleepyhead."
"Good morning, Lizzy." Jane flopped into a kitchen chair. Laughing, Lizzy poured a cup of coffee for her.
"Must have been a great party."
"Oh, it was! Lots of people from the paper were there, of course. The guys kept falling into conversations about sports, but the women managed to drag them back. Several of Charles's colleagues are married. Their wives were very friendly. They gave me pointers on how to get live with a sportswriter."
"Live with?" cried Lizzy.
"No, not literally. They meant it as 'get along with.' Don't give me that look. There's nothing to tell."
"And when there is, you probably won't tell me anyhow!"
"No comment!" said Jane, smiling. "I am sorry you stayed home last night. You would have been welcome. Honestly!"
"That's OK."
"So, how late did you stay up? Until your candle went out? I didn't find it in the tub, where you usually leave it."
"About 1. I stayed up until it went out."
"What movie did you watch?"
"Um, I didn't."
"Oh, what did you do?"
"You won't believe it. I'm not sure I believe it. I had company last night."
"Who?"
"You'll never guess."
"Oh, Lizzy, why do people say that? 'You'll never guess.' If you know I'll never guess, just tell me!"
"Will Darcy."
"Will Darcy? You invited him here?"
"Well, he invited me to his place, but I had already started the candle, and, well, he came over here instead."
"He waited until last night to ask you out for New Year's?"
"No, it wasn't like that. He called me by mistake. He was supposed to call Kitty, but he called me instead. Maybe he misread a list of phone numbers from Georgie or something. Anyhow, we talked a bit and it turned out neither of us was busy, so he asked me over to see New Year's in with him."
"But you said that he came here."
"Right. I had already started the candle, and, well, you know how superstitious I am about it."
"You actually told him that you had to stay home because of your bayberry candle?"
"Yes. He said it was the most original rejection he has ever had. Hell, Jane, it was probably the only rejection he has ever had!"
Jane laughed, "Yes, you could be right. He is rather attractive, if you go for the tall-dark-and-handsome type."
"I believe you used to," said Lizzy speculatively.
"Yes, well, I guess my tastes are changing. I've discovered that the "all-American" blonde isn't bad, either!"
"Welcome home, Mrs. R!" Georgie bounced into the foyer and hugged the housekeeper. Darcy followed his sister and took the housekeeper's bags.
"How was your trip? How is your sister? Did you have a good Christmas?"
"Goodness, child, so many questions! Everything was wonderful. We had a cozy Christmas together." She turned to Darcy and added, "Thank you so much for the gift certificate. We had a lovely dinner out together."
"Good. I'm glad you had a nice break, because we're going to put you to work very quickly," said Darcy mysteriously.
"Don't tell me you haven't eaten all day, just waiting for my return!" exclaimed Mrs. Reynolds.
"No," laughed Georgie. "We even made supper. I used your vegetable soup recipe and started some bread in the machine."
"Well, now. Maybe you don't really need me."
"Don't ever think that!" said Darcy. "When you've had a chance to get settled, please come talk to us about a dinner party we want to have."
A little while later, the housekeeper found her employer in the living room. She set down a tray laden with teapot, cups and saucers, and a plate of cookies.
"I see you almost finished the cookies."
"Yes, we tried to ration them so that we could enjoy them for as long as possible." replied Georgie, reaching for one of the last candy-cane cookies.
Mrs. Reynolds picked up a small ruled pad and a pencil. "So tell me about this dinner party."
"Do you remember my parents' Twelfth Night parties?" asked Darcy.
"Why, yes I do. My goodness, I hadn't thought about them for years. Is that what you want to do?"
"On a smaller scale," answered Darcy. "No medieval feast and eating with your fingers. What we had in mind was a traditional English dinner-roast beef, Yorkshire pudding, and plum pudding or a similar steamed pudding for dessert, maybe persimmon pudding."
"It sounds like a Christmas dinner." Mrs. Reynolds remarked.
"Yes, but it's the twelfth of the twelve days of Christmas, so why not?"
"Why not indeed? If you want a steamed pudding for dessert, would you like me to put the charms in them?"
"Yes, please!" said Darcy. "Do you know where they are?"
"As a matter of fact, they turned up with some of the Christmas baking things."
"I remember the charms," said Georgie. "They're supposed to be surprises. But what if someone swallows one?"
Mrs. Reynolds smiled. "For safety, your mother always wrapped each charm in a bit of baking parchment and then we pushed them into the finished pudding from underneath."
"Is there a charm for love?" asked Georgie. "We could stack the deck, so to speak, by putting that one in Anne or Richard's portion!"
"What are you up to, Georgiana?" asked the housekeeper suspiciously.
"Anne and Richard. They would make such a good couple."
"More matchmaking?" again, Mrs. Reynolds wore a suspicious look.
"More matchmaking? What other matchmaking is going on?" asked Darcy.
Ignoring her brother's question, Georgie turned her attention to the housekeeper. "Anne is in love with him, Mrs. R. We have no idea what he thinks, we never do. But it's possible. If we just, um, steer them toward each other..." From this discussion, she veered into a monologue about possible foods to serve.
Darcy stood up. "I'll leave you two ladies to work out the details." With a smile, he was gone. As soon as he was out of earshot, Georgie scolded the housekeeper.
"You almost gave me away!"
"Georgiana, I want you to be happy. But I still fear that you are setting up such high expectations about your brother and Miss Bennet. And now to try to pair Mr. Fitzwilliam and Miss deBourgh, well that sounds more like a boxing match than a love match."
"Stranger things have happened, Mrs. R."
Posted on Tuesday, 5 February 2002
January 3
"Lizzy?"
Lizzy looked up from her desk when she heard the soft voice. "Hey, Georgie! How were today's little darlings?"
"Cute. One little girl was afraid of the wolf diorama. It is one of the best. The wolf just leaps out at you, you know?"
"Yes, I know what you mean. So were you able to convince her she was safe?"
"Yes. We got her to touch the glass to see that it couldn't get to her. I thought that was better than saying, 'Don't worry, little girl, the wolf is dead.' I didn't want to be the cause of nightmares."
Lizzy laughed, "Good for you."
Georgie paused, then asked, "How was your New Year's?"
"Quiet," replied Lizzy. Hmm, did Will not tell her? Should I? "And yours?"
"Chris and I went to a great party. Will stayed home. Actually, he was playing sick, ducking out of a boring party at Aunt Catherine's."
"Ah." Why didn't Will tell her?
"Oh, before I forget," said Georgie, trying to sound casual. "I have something for you." She held out a square stiff envelope. Curious, Lizzy opened it. The card inside bore an invitation to a celebration of Twelfth Night.
"What a fun idea!"
"Oh, good. You know what Twelfth Night is, then."
"Yes, I do. I make Jane keep the tree up until then. The Christmas season isn't over until Epiphany."
"We keep our tree up, too. Our parents used to have a Twelfth Night party every year, and Will and I thought it would be nice to resume the tradition. Plus, we have sort of an ulterior motive."
"And that is?"
"Promise you won't let anyone know that I told you?"
"I promise." I think I already know.
"It's Anne. She's in love with Richard, and we want to help." Georgie looked closely at Lizzy, gauging her reaction to this mention of Richard.
"How will this help?"
"We want to set them up as a couple, but in such a subtle way that they won't realize it until the evening is in full swing. But I need your help."
"Yes, I-" Lizzy broke off before she could say "I know." Trying to remember New Year's Eve and the conversations with Will, she sorted out what she knew as opposed to what Georgie didn't know she knew. "Yes, I will help. What do you need me to do?"
Georgie took a deep breath. This is it, she thought. "Be Will's date. Not really a date-date, but so that there are even numbers. If you pair off with Will, that leaves Anne and Richard as a couple. We're inviting Jane and Charles, and I didn't want you to feel bad because we're inviting you only, not you and a date."
"I see. You must be very concerned for Anne to go to all this trouble. That's so sweet."
"So you'll do it?" Fishing for more information and mentally crossing her fingers, Georgie added, "If you have someone you very much want to bring as a date, I guess we can arrange for someone else to pair off with Will."
"No, since Billy Collins went home, I can't think of who I'd ask." Lizzy laughed when Georgie snorted at this comment. Doing a little fishing of her own, Lizzy continued, "Unless there's someone you think your brother would rather have as a dinner partner?"
"No, Will doesn't have a girlfriend at the moment. Actually, I can't remember the last girlfriend."
"I find that hard to believe."
"Will has always been busy with work and taking care of me. I, uh, well, someday I'll explain, but I don't have time now."
"Will did make a remark one time that you were the only family member with a social life."
"It's true. Will has been busy with work and me. Anne has been pining for Richard. And Richard, well, he avoids reality by playing the international man of mystery. He's always on the move, therefore, no serious girlfriend."
"Do you really think Richard is going to take the bait?"
"He has taken a long-term assignment based in the city. He seems to be looking to settle down. We're taking it as a positive sign." Georgie glanced at her watch. "I really must go. Will you give this invitation to Jane?"
Lizzy reached for the envelope, "Certainly."
"Conservation Department," the secretary answered the phone.
"Hello. I'd like to speak to Anne deBourgh, please. This is her cousin, Georgiana Darcy." The line went quiet, then a voice answered.
"Hello, Miss Darcy, what can I do for you?"
"Good afternoon, Ms deBourgh," giggled Georgie.
"Enough already! To what do I owe the honor of your call?"
"I'm calling to invite you to dinner on Sunday. We're celebrating Twelfth Night."
"How Shakespearean!"
"Seriously, will you come?"
"Who will be there?"
"Um, just some friends. Jane and her boyfriend, Lizzy, Richard, and a couple who are friends of Will's."
"Sounds nice. I'll be there."
"Great! And, um, Anne?"
"What?"
"Could you do me a huge favor and be nice to Richard?"
"I'm always nice to Richard. He's the one who starts the smart remarks."
"Well, I'm going to make him promise to behave."
"What are you up to?" And just what do you know? she asked silently.
"I'm hoping to set up Lizzy and Will. So, if you and Richard sort of pair off, that will make them a couple by default. Please?"
"You're matchmaking, Georgie?"
More than you know, Anne! "Uh huh. I think she'd be so good for him, don't you?"
"What does HE think, Georgie?"
"Oh, no you don't! I have a shrink who asks me stuff like that! See you on Sunday!"
One down, one to go, thought Georgie, with a smug smile.
George Knightly opened the envelope that had been hand-delivered earlier in the day. "Em?" he called. "Did you see this?"
"What, Love?" Emma Knightly entered the room, absently tucking a strand of red hair behind her ear.
"Will Darcy is having a dinner party for Twelfth Night."
Taking the card he held out for her, Emma cried, "How marvelous! Do we dress as Shakespearean characters?"
"No, it isn't a costume party, just a dinner. Do you think your sister will take Johnny?"
"I'm sure she will. I'll just call her."
After his wife had confirmed baby-sitting arrangements, George called Darcy.
"Hello?"
"Darcy! It's George Knightly. Happy New Year!"
"Happy New Year to you, George. How are you and Em? And Johnny?"
"All well, thank you. I'm calling to RSVP. We would be delighted to attend your dinner party. Who else will be there?"
"Just a few friends. Georgie and her boyfriend. You know Lizzy and Jane Bennet, I believe. And my cousin, Richard."
"Yes, I do know them. I didn't know you were on friendly terms with the Bennet sisters. On Halloween, I recall, you didn't think highly of Lizzy."
"Yes, well that was when I first met her. Through various social events involving Georgie, we've become friendly. Anyway, the other guests will be Jane's boyfriend and my other cousin, Anne. I don't know if you ever met her?"
"Waifish blonde who used to gaze worshipfully at Richard?"
"That would be Anne."
"Has she grown out of that by now?"
"The gazing, yes; the worship, no."
"Really? As I recall, he disdained her attentions."
"Sadly yes, but we're hoping that will change."
"Oh, then this will be an interesting evening. By the bye, Darcy, should I attend the party in yellow stockings and cross-gartered?"
"No, I don't think I need to see your Malvolio in full dress," laughed Darcy. "We did consider asking people to dress as characters from the play. But Georgie and I could hardly be Viola and Sebastian-we don't look enough alike. But if you would do some of the speeches, it could be fun. I had thought to rent one of the film versions, but live theater is always much better."
"Let me think about arranging a group reading or something."
"Wonderful! I look forward to seeing you, George, whether you provide formal entertainment or just your charming self and wife."
"See you on Sunday, then!"
After he hung up the phone, George looked at the bookshelves, but couldn't find what he wanted.
"Em!" he called. "Where's my copy of Twelfth Night?"
Richard was in a meeting when his cell phone vibrated. He pulled it out and checked the number. It was Georgie. What is she up to now? he wondered, then turned his attention back to his boss, who was speaking.
"...and I think that we'll let Richard do that one. You haven't traveled in, what, a month, Richard? You'll like Punxatawny in February."
Richard's moment of inattention left him a bit confused until Jack Forster called out, "It's Groundhog Day!" Several more colleagues joined in the chorus, "Rise and shine campers, and don't forget your booties because it's cold out there today! It's cold out there every day!"
Richard recognized the dialogue from the movie and groaned, "All my commando training and I'm going to do security for a rodent?"
"It's high-profile, so we're going to be there."
"And this happens at some ungodly hour of the morning, right?" This question resulted in loud laughter.
"I believe that this concludes our business this morning, ladies and gentlemen. Back to work!"
Richard left the meeting mumbling to himself. Jack Forster nudged him in the ribs. "Don't take it personally, the Chief always likes to give the new kid in town a strange assignment. Think of it as an initiation rite."
"I should feel welcomed by this?" Richard shook his head and laughed. Then he remembered the phone call. "I'll see you later, Jack. I have to make a call."
Richard leaned back in his swivel chair and dialed Georgie's number.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Gorgeous! You called?"
"Yes, we're inviting you to dinner on Sunday. We're celebrating Twelfth Night."
"What?"
"You know, Richard. The twelfth of the days of Christmas. Three Kings Day."
"Yes, I know. I'm just wondering how many other arcane holidays are going to sneak up on me."
"Huh?"
"Nothing. So what's the deal with dinner?"
"It's a small dinner party, ten of us, just some friends."
"Oh."
"So will you come?"
"Mrs. R. is back, right?"
"Richard!"
"Sorry. Yes, I'll come. Is this going to be medieval or is it a normal meal?"
"Normal. Do you remember my parents' parties? Did they always do a medieval feast for Twelfth Night?"
"Not always, no. But I remember thinking how funny it was that Mom hated it when I ate my peas with my fingers, but would go to a party where they all ate with their hands. Anything else, Georgie? I have to go plan security for an oversized rat."
"What?"
"Nothing, just an assignment."
"Oh. Actually, there is one more thing. I need this party to work out in pairs, so..."
Pleased that her plans were going so well, Georgie decided to work on seating arrangements for the dinner party. That would be when the pairing would begin in earnest. Three of the five couples were fixed. She had to make sure that the other two couldn't be interchanged. It had to be just right. Her concentration was broken by the ringing of the telephone.
"Hello?"
"Georgie, hello. It's George Knightly. Is your brother at home?"
"No, he isn't. Can I help you or take a message?"
"I just wanted to talk to him about having the guests do some Shakespeare readings at the party."
"Readings?"
"Yes. You see, I asked if I should come as Malvolio, a character from Twelfth Night, and from there I got the idea of a group reading of the play, but that would be too long and complicated. So I thought I might set up some duos."
"What's a duo?"
"A two-person reading or performance. If you had gone out for the speech program in high school, you would know that duo is one of the categories in a speech tournament."
"Oh, right. I forgot that you coach speech and debate. So can I help you with these duos?"
"I just wanted to run a few suggestions by your brother. I know that he's a fan of the Bard, so I thought I'd ask for some input."
"What did you have in mind?"
"Some cuttings of Shakespearean pairs. Em and I will start off with something from Twelfth Night. Then I thought maybe Much Ado, possibly Shrew, As You Like It, stick to comedies to keep it light. Maybe you and your boyfriend can do the balcony scene?"
"It sounds great! Just a few hints. Stay away from Kate's final speech. Anne will go ballistic. Oh! Give Anne and Richard the scene where Benedick says he loves Beatrice. Oh, but maybe that should go to Will and Lizzy. Hmmm..."
"Will and Lizzy?"
"Yes, I have hopes for them. But the point of this evening is to put Richard and Anne together, so give them the Much Ado stuff."
"Any more instructions?
"No, that should do it. I'm looking forward to it, I think it will be fun. Bye, George. Say hi to Em and Johnny for me."
"Will do. Bye, Georgie. See you on Sunday."
Posted on Tuesday, 5 February 2002
January 6
Georgie stood in the dining room, admiring the table. It was beautifully set, with an arrangement of evergreens and red roses in the center of the table. Each place was marked with a small sprig of holly tied with a red ribbon and a small card with the name of a guest. She had placed Will at the head of the table, with Lizzy at his right. She had placed herself at the foot of the table, with Chris to her right. Richard and Anne were to her left. She circled the table, smiling, as she imagined the guests at their places.
"It looks lovely, Sweetie." Darcy stood in the doorway, smiling at his sister.
"Thanks, Will. I made sure to put Richard and Anne together. I hope they don't squabble."
"Didn't you talk to them?"
"Yes, but I don't know if it will work. She says she's always nice to him, and that HE starts it. And he says that he never picks on her and that SHE always starts it."
"Let's just hope that neither of them starts it tonight."
Georgie walked to her brother. She reached up and straightened his tie. "You look very handsome tonight."
He took her hands in his and kissed them. "And you look beautiful, Sweetie. Ready?"
She nodded, "Just have to put my shoes on."
Anne hopped out of her father's limo and rang the buzzer for Lizzy's apartment.
"Yes?"
"Hi, Lizzy. It's me. I know I'm early. Will you be ready soon?"
"Just a minute or two. Do you want to come up?
"No, there's nowhere to park. We'll go around the block and pick you up, OK?"
"Fine. See you in a bit."
Lizzy was waiting on the sidewalk when the limo pulled up in front of her building. The driver opened the door and Lizzy got into the car.
"Why so early, Anne?"
"Mother was hovering. She's imagining big things for Darce and me. First, she was annoyed that he wasn't going to pick me up. Then, she was annoyed when I said I wasn't his date, that I was just invited to his party. At that point, I think she was considering coming along to set him straight. I thought the best thing to do was get out of the house quickly."
"What is this thing your mother has for you and Will?"
"It's her high-society upbringing, I guess. Her main goal in life is to marry her daughter off successfully. Darce has been her target since we were kids and he was nice to me. Poor Darce, I guess it's true. No good deed goes unpunished." The car stopped. "We're here!"
"We're so early. I hate to be rude."
"Don't worry, Darce is always ready early. Anyhow, we can just sit out of the way if they're not ready."
They took the elevator to the penthouse. Anne knocked on the door, which was opened by Darcy.
"Hi Darce, I know we're early, but I had to get out of the house before Mother drove me crazy."
"That's all right. Come in. Let me take your coats." He led them to the living room. "Georgie will be here in a minute. She's just doing the finishing touches. You both look lovely tonight."
"Thank you. I am sorry we're here so early," said Lizzy.
"It's no trouble. In fact, I expected Richard to be early. He'll probably be here in a minute or two. If you'll excuse me, I'll get us something to drink."
Lizzy noticed that Anne jumped at the mention of Richard. Remembering what Darcy had said about Anne and Richard, she asked, "Didn't you know that Richard would be here?"
"Yes, I did know. I just, oh, I don't know," said Anne.
"You've known Richard for a long time. Has he always been a flirt?"
"Yes, I don't think he has ever had a serious relationship. He's afraid to commit. I don't think he wants to grow up."
"Sounds like Peter Pan."
"What? Playing pirate?"
"No, I was thinking of the song." Standing up with her hands on her hips, Lizzy began to sing, and Anne took up the tune as her echo.
"I won't grow up.
(I won't grow up.)
I don't wanna go to school.
(I don't wanna go to school.)
Just to learn to be a parrot,
(Just to learn to be a parrot,)
And recite a silly rule.
(And recite a silly rule.)
If growing up means it would be
Beneath my dignity to climb a tree,
I won't grow up, never grow up,
Never grow up, not-" *
Lizzy stopped short and blushed when she saw Darcy in the doorway. Oh, God, he must think I'm a nut.
Darcy stood there, mesmerized by the sight of Lizzy standing in a defiant pose and belting out a song. He was trying to think of something to say when Georgie materialized behind him.
"Will?" She nudged him gently in the back.
He stepped aside and watched his sister greet her cousin and her friend. Recovering his wits, he handed out flutes of champagne just as Mrs. Reynolds carried in a tray of canapés.
As they sat down, Anne explained to Darcy, "We were talking about Richard and his inability to grow up, and Lizzy got carried away."
"You were singing, too, Anne," accused Lizzy.
"You sounded good," said Darcy. "And I have to admit it was an appropriate choice. Although if we call Richard Peter Pan, I fear he'd call me Captain Hook."
"Who's the slimiest crook in the book?
Captain Hook, Captain Hook!"**
Richard waltzed into the room and bowed when the others laughed.
"I am not a crook!" cried Darcy.
"Ah, Darce, but you probably would be a very effective Captain Hook! And here's a bit of trivia for you all. Do you know that the actor who plays Hook plays another character as well?"
"Who?" they chorused.
"Mr. Darling, Wendy's father. Tell me there isn't something Freudian in that!" Changing the subject, he added, "Hey, Darce, you took down the mistletoe. No fair!"
"I think you got enough mileage out of it last time," replied Darcy dryly.
The doorbell rang. Georgie got up to admit the next guests, Jane and Charles, who were followed closely by Chris.
Richard and Charles immediately got into a discussion of the football playoffs.
"Chicago," declared Richard. "Da Bears will go all the way."
"My money's on the Rams," argued Charles.
"What about the Jets?" asked Chris. "I was hoping for the Giants, but if they can't do it, at least the Jets are a local team."
"No," replied Charles. "Vinnie gets intercepted too often. I still say it will be the Rams."
The doorbell rang before Darcy could put in a plug for the Patriots. He answered the door and brought George and Em Knightly into the room. He was about to make introductions when Em ran over to Lizzy and hugged her.
"Lizzy! How did your parents like the scarves?"
"They loved them. Thank you so much for the refresher course and loom time!" Lizzy turned to her sister, "Jane, this is Emma Knightly. I used one of her looms to make Mom and Dad's scarves. You should see Em's weaving studio, it's wonderful."
Em smiled at her husband, "George had the attic renovated into a studio when I first took up weaving. He had skylights put in to give it natural light. It really is a comfortable work space."
"Too comfortable," said George as he squeezed his wife's shoulders. "When she's in the midst of a project, she disappears up there."
"Speaking of projects, George, what do you have in the works?" asked Georgie.
"I'm waiting on a call-back for a play. And I'm also working up voices for a book on tape. It's a new author for me, and a murder mystery. So I have to get a Philip Marlowe sort of thing going."
"Yeah, shweetheart," said Richard, in a bad imitation of Humphrey Bogart. Everyone laughed, and Anne rolled her eyes. Richard held up his champagne glass in a salute and said to her, "Here's lookin' at you, kid."
When the laughter died down, Mrs. Reynolds announced that dinner was served. As couples found their seats, the men held the chairs for the ladies. As he seated Anne, Richard said softly, "Thanks for not wearing black." She blushed slightly and glanced down at the wine-colored dress she had worn to their dinner before Christmas, surprised he had noticed what she was wearing.
When Darcy seated Lizzy, he lingered as long as he decently could behind her chair, trying to identify her perfume. He had noticed it earlier, when he took her coat. He didn't think he had ever smelled it before. In fact he was sure he had never smelled it. He would remember something so intoxicating. As he sat down next to her, she smiled at him. Or perhaps it isn't the perfume that's so intoxicating?
As the guests complimented Georgie on the lovely table setting, Mrs. Reynolds served the soup course. It appeared to be tomato soup, garnished with chopped parsley, sprinkled in a ring to look like a Christmas wreath.
"How pretty!" cried Em.
"Delicious!" declared Chris.
Lizzy looked down the table at her sister, who seemed to be concentrating. "So, Jane, have you figured it out yet?"
Jane blushed and shook her head.
Lizzy explained, "Jane is an excellent cook, and can usually identify the ingredients in anything she tastes. Come on, Jane, I'm sure you can figure out some of this."
"Not entirely. It looks like tomato soup, but it's much more complex than that. I taste a hint of sherry?" She looked at Georgie.
"I read the recipe when Mrs. R and I set up the menu, but I don't remember all the ingredients. You're right about the sherry, though. I do remember that. I'm sure Mrs. R would give you the recipe."
Just then, Mrs. Reynolds returned to collect the soup dishes. As she passed Jane, she whispered, "I'm so glad you like it. I'll be happy to give you the recipe, my dear."
The housekeeper returned with a large platter of roast beef, and set it in front of Will. As guests passed their plates and Will served, Mrs. Reynolds carried in serving dishes of potatoes and vegetables. Then she came back with a large plate piled with Yorkshire puddings. She served these directly to the guests, winked at Georgie, then left the room.
Georgie smiled at the guests and explained, "Mrs. R and I decided that these had to be served directly, not passed, or Will and Richard would take all of them."
"Can I help it if Mrs. R makes the best Yorkshire pudding on this side of the Atlantic?" asked Richard.
"On either side of the Atlantic," said Darcy.
Anne caught Richard eyeing her plate and shot him a venomous glance and held her fork over her Yorkshire pudding. "Don't even think about swiping mine, Richard!"
"This doesn't look like pudding," whispered Chris to Georgie.
"No, it isn't a custard. I don't know why it's called pudding. But it's a family favorite."
"So I gather," chuckled Chris. He tasted it and said, "Mmm, this is good. It's kind of like the popovers my Mom makes. You know, if you don't want yours..."
"Forget it!" laughed Georgie. Turning to Jane, she added, "Do you make Yorkshire pudding?"
"Not often," answered Jane. "For just the two of us, the whole roast beef dinner is too much food. "I do love it, though. And this is the best I've ever had."
"I'm sure you could find someone appreciative to cook for," said Charles.
Jane blushed and concentrated on her plate. Lizzy smiled at her sister's reaction to the comment. Will thought Lizzy had the sweetest smile he'd ever seen. Under the table, Georgie nudged Richard's foot. He turned to her and she subtly pointed her fork toward the head of the table. Richard caught Will gazing at Lizzy, and nudged Georgie back.
When Mrs. Reynolds returned to clear the table, the guests all complimented her cooking. She smiled and accepted the compliments gracefully. After Mrs. Reynolds returned to the kitchen, Georgie excused herself from the table.
In the kitchen, she hugged her housekeeper, "Oh, Mrs. R, this is the best dinner! Is the pudding ready? Do you need help with the charms?"
"Everything is fine, dear. The extra holly leaf will mark where the charm is, just as we agreed. Go back to you guests now."
Georgie returned to the dining room. As she passed her brother, she gave his shoulder an affectionate squeeze. He glanced at her and she nodded subtly.
Lizzy caught this exchange and lifted an eyebrow as she looked at Darcy.
"You'll see," he whispered, as Georgie turned down the lights.
The room was illuminated only by the candles on the table. Suddenly everyone turned toward the door, as Mrs. Reynolds entered carrying a flaming dessert. Oohs and ahs abounded around the table as the dessert was placed in front of Georgie.
When the flames died down, Em asked, "Is this plum pudding? It looks a bit lighter?"
"It's persimmon pudding, but it is a steamed pud, like plum pudding."
"This doesn't look like pudding, either," said Chris.
Georgie shushed him and began to serve the dessert. She worked her way toward the sprig of holly, calculating the number of servings between her starting point and the place where she hoped a certain charm would be.
"And this is for you, Richard," she smiled broadly at him, then announced to everyone, "Be careful when you eat this. You may find a surprise. There are charms hidden in the cake, and they will tell your fortune for the coming year."
"I think I should warn everyone," said Chris, "If you should choke on one, I'm not a doctor, I'm only a med student."
"Not to worry," laughed Darcy. "They're wrapped in paper, so they should be pretty obvious."
The guests poked at their portions of dessert, and one by one, they found the charms.
"What do they mean?" Asked Em, as she unfolded the bit of parchment she had found in her dessert. Then she gasped when she saw the charm. It was a baby bottle.
"I think we all know what that one means, dear," said her husband. "Anything you'd like to tell us?"
"No." Then she laughed, "But it's early in the year, yet."
"Aack!" said Georgie, holding up a thimble.
"Glad to see you got that one," said her brother.
"What does it mean?" asked Lizzy.
"Old Maid. It means I won't be marrying off my sister this year," answered Darcy, who was secretly relieved that Lizzy hadn't received that one. Then he scowled at his charm.
Seeing his frown, Lizzy asked, "What's that one?"
"A button, for a bachelor."
"What's wrong with that? I thought most men prized the bachelor life." She lowered her voice and continued, "Anyway, considering your plan, better that you should have it than Richard."
"I guess."
"I got a coin!" announced Charles.
"I got a wishbone," said Anne.
"What's a horseshoe?" asked Lizzy.
"Let's see, the coin means you'll come into money, the wishbone means you'll have a wish come true, and the horseshoe means good luck." Georgie was glad that she had checked the meanings earlier. She looked around the table as she mentally ticked off the items they had hidden in the pudding. "I think there's one still out there."
"Oops! Almost bit into it," said Richard, unwrapping his prize. "What's the bell?"
Georgie giggled, "Wedding bells."
"C'mon and marry me, Rich, I've got the Wedding Bell Blues," sang Em, and soon all the women (except one) at the table were singing "Wedding Bell Blues."
Georgie was gratified to see Richard turn the brightest shade of scarlet imaginable. Anne sat next to Richard, trying to decide whether to laugh or slide under the table in mortification. She glared at Darcy, wondering if everyone at the table knew. He shrugged back almost imperceptibly.
After the laughter died down, the group turned their attention back to their desserts and coffee. Charles announced that his windfall would be winning the office Super Bowl pool. Jane asked Anne what she would wish for.
Smiling, Anne replied, "No, I can't tell. Then it won't come true."
Lizzy turned to Darcy, "See, I told you. It's wishes, not resolutions, that you can't tell."
When the group returned to the living room, Darcy offered his guests brandy and liqueurs. After these were served, the discussion turned to the Twelfth Night and the twelve days of Christmas.
"We should sing the song," suggested Charles.
"Does anybody know the words?" asked Chris. "I get confused with the high numbers. I'm sure up to eight maids-a-milking, but I never get nine through twelve right."
After debating whether it was nine or ten ladies dancing and reaching no consensus on the number of pipers piping, they gave up on the idea. Then Darcy spoke up.
"You all know that we have a real, live, professional actor in our midst tonight. George Knightly has prepared some entertainment for us this evening." Darcy gestured to George, who stood as the others applauded.
*"I Won't Grow Up" from "Peter Pan" by Comden & Green and Styne
**"Hook's Waltz" from "Peter Pan" by Comden & Green and Styne
Posted on Tuesday, 5 February 2002
still January 6
Author's note: several guests will take part in reading selections from Shakespeare. The dialogue that appears here is adapted and abridged to make it easier to read and also to shorten some scenes. Dialogue adapted from Shakespeare appears as a script, including stage directions in brackets, just as the participants would have been given it. Before lines of dialogue, both story character and Shakespearean character identified. (All dialogue has been indented, to make it easier to skim if you don't want to read the play dialogue closely.) Dialogue that is not from Shakespeare appears as ordinary story dialogue.
George Knightly bowed to his audience and cleared his throat. "Thank you. In honor of this night, I will begin with some excerpts from Twelfth Night. The main plot of this play involves twins who are shipwrecked and separated. Viola disguises herself as a man, and later when her twin brother shows up there is the usual confusion, especially on the part of Olivia, a noblewoman, who falls in love with the man she believes Viola to be. A small subplot involves a trick that members of Olivia's household play on her pompous steward Malvolio. In this first scene, I will be Sir Toby Belch, Olivia's uncle. And my lovely Em will play Maria, Olivia's maid, who is about to tell Sir Toby her plan."
Maria/Em: The best persuaded of himself, so crammed, as he thinks, with excellencies, that it is his ground of faith that all that look on him, love him; and on that vice in him will my revenge find notable cause to work.Toby/George: What wilt thou do?
M/E: I will drop in his way some obscure epistles of love; I can write very like my lady, your niece; on a forgotten matter we can hardly make distinction of our hands.
T/G: Excellent! I smell a device. He shall think by the letters that thou wilt drop, that they come from my niece, and that she's in love with him?
M/E: My purpose is, indeed, a horse of that color.
T/G: And your horse now would make him an ass.
M/E: Ass, I doubt not.
Stepping out of character, George continued his narration, "So Maria writes the letter, and instructs Sir Toby to hide and watch as Malvolio finds the letter."
M/E: Get ye into the box-tree, Toby; Malvolio's coming down this walk; he has been yonder in the sun, practicing behavior to his own shadow this half hour. Observe him, for the love of mockery; for I know this letter will make a contemplative idiot of him. Lie thou there [Throws down a letter] for here comes the trout that must be caught with tickling. [Hides]Malvolio/George: Tis but fortune, all is fortune. Maria once told me she did affect me: and I have heard herself come thus near, that, should she fancy, it should be one of my complexion. [Pauses] To be Count Malvolio-to ask for my kinsman Toby-Toby approaches, court'sies there to me. I extend my hand to him, saying You must amend your drunkenness. Besides, you waste-
[Pauses] What employment have we here? [Taking up the letter]
[Reads]To the unknown beloved,
Tis from my lady. To whom should this be?
[Reads] I may command where I adore..
M-Malvolio-M, why that begins my name.
[Reads] If this fall into thy hand, resolve. In my stars I am above thee; but be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them. Thy Fates open their hands. Remember who commended thy yellow stockings, and wished to see the ever cross-gartered. I say remember.
I will be proud, for every reason excites to this, that my lady loves me. I thank my stars, I am happy. Here is yet a postscript.
[Reads] Thou canst not choose but know who I am. If thou entertainest my love, let it appear in thy smiling; thy smiles become thee well.
Jove, I thank thee-I will smile; I will do everything that thou wilt have me.
Em took up the narration at this point, "And so, Malvolio goes off in search of yellow stockings, a color which Olivia hates, by the way, and puts them on, cross gartered. Now we come upon Olivia, as Malvolio presents himself to her as he believes she wishes."
Oliva/Em: How now, Malvolio?Malvolio/George: Sweet lady, ho, ho. [Smiles fantastically.]
O/E: Smilest thou? I sent for thee upon a sad occasion.
M/G: Sad, lady? I could be sad: this does make some obstruction of the blood, this cross-gartering. But what of that?
O/E: Why, how dost thee, man? What is the matter with thee?
M/G: Not black in my mind, though yellow in my legs. It did come to his hands, and commands shall be executed. [Smiling]
O/E: Why dost thou smile so?
M/G: Be not afraid of greatness- 'twas well writ.
O/E: What meanest thou by that, Malvolio? [Backing away]
M/G: Some are born great- [Advancing and smiling]
O/E: Ha! [Backing away]
M/G: Some achieve greatness- [Advancing and smiling]
O/E: What sayest thou? [Backing away]
M/G: And some have greatness thrust upon them.
O/E: Heaven restore thee!
M/G: Remember who commended thy yellow stockings- [Smiling]
O/E: Yellow stockings?
M/G: Cross-gartered! [Smiling and extending lower leg]
O/E: Good Maria! Toby! Let this fellow be looked to!
George dropped the ridiculous smile and affected pose. As himself, he explained, "And so Maria and Toby drag off poor Malvolio, to be locked up for a madman. And, yes, he does later get out. So the next time you hear someone quote 'Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them,' remember that this was not said by a great man, but by a vain and pompous character."
This epilogue was greeted by applause. George bowed and Em curtseyed.
George introduced the next entertainment, "Our next scenes will be from As You Like It. This is a story of a banned duke, his daughter Rosalind, and her cousin, Celia. Rosalind and Celia escape from machinations at Court by running away to the forest . There, Rosalind disguises herself as a shepherd, and calls herself Ganymede. In the forest, they come upon Orlando, who loves Rosalind, but does not recognize her because of her disguise. They also meet Phebe, a shepherdess, who falls in love with Ganymede, and Silvius, a shepherd who is in love with Phebe. So, instead of a love triangle, we have a rectangle.
"And we will need four actors for this. So Georgie will be our Phebe, Jane our Rosalind, Chris our Silvius, and Charles our Orlando."
After some coaxing, the four stood up and accepted their scripts. They took a few moments to familiarize themselves with their parts, and George whispered some instructions to Jane. Then the players were ready to begin.
George resumed his narration, "Orlando has been carving verses of love to Rosalind all over the forest. When she meets him, she recognizes him and realizes that he does not recognize her, so she decides to have a bit of fun with the situation."
Rosalind/Jane: There is a man haunts the forest, that abuses our young plants with carving Rosalind on their barks; hangs odes upon hawthorns, and elegies on brambles. If I could meet this fancy-monger, I would give him some good council.
Lizzy smiled at her sister's performance. She had lowered her normally sweet voice, and stood in a swaggering pose. Darcy smiled, too, as Jane's defiant posture mirrored the way Lizzy had stood when singing the song from "Peter Pan."
Orlando/Charles: I am he that is so love-shaked; I pray you, tell me your remedy.R/J: Are you he that hangs the verses on the trees, wherein Rosalind is so admired?
O/C: I swear to thee, youth, by the white hand of Rosalind, I am he.
R/J: But are you so much in love as your rhymes speak?
O/C: Neither rhyme nor reason can express how much.
R/J: Love is merely a madness; I profess curing it by counsel.
O/C: Did you ever cure any so?
R/J: Yes, and in this manner. He was to imagine me his love; and I set him every day to woo me: at which time would I be longing, and liking; proud, inconstant, full of tears, full of smiles; would now like him; would now loathe him; then entertain him; then foreswear him. And thus I cured him. And this way will I take upon me to wash your liver as clean as a sound sheep's heart, that there shall not be one spot of love in it.
O/C: I would not be cured, youth.
R/J: I would cure you, if you would but call me Rosalind and woo me.
George took up the story, "And so we have our first pair of lovers. Now on to our shepherd and shepherdess."
Silvius/Chris: Sweet Phebe, do not scorn me. Say that you love me not, but say not so in bitterness.Phebe/Georgie: Come not thou near me. [Sees Rosalind] Sweet youth, I had rather hear you chide than this man woo.
R/J: Why look you so upon me?
P/G: For no ill will I bear you.
R/J: I pray you, do not fall in love with me, for I am falser than vows made in wine. Shepherd, ply her hard. Shepherdess, look on him better. [Exit]
S/C: Sweet Phebe, pity me!
Chris was getting into the spirit, and sounded truly pitiful as he stood with his hand over his heart.
P/G: Why, I am sorry for thee, gentle Silvius.S/C: Wherever sorrow is, relief would be; if you do sorrow at my grief in love. By giving love, your sorrow and my grief were both extermin'd.
P/G: Silvius, since thou can talk of love so well, thy company, which once was irksome to me, I will endure; and I'll employ thee, too. But do not look for further recompense than thine own gladness that thou art employed.
S/C: Loose now and then a scattered smile, and that I'll live upon.
"So," said George, "We have our second pair of lovers. Rosalind, as Ganymede, continues to allow Orlando to practice his wooing, and Phebe continues to sigh over Rosalind. And Silvius continues to love Phebe.
R/J: [To Phebe] You are there followed by a faithful shepherd; look upon him; love him, he worships you.P/G: Good shepherd, tell this youth what 'tis to love.
S/C: It is to be all made of faith and service-and so am I for Phebe.
P/G: And I for Ganymede.
O/C: And I for Rosalind.
R/J: And I for no woman.
S/C: It is to be all made of fantasy,
All made of passion, and all made of wishes;
All adoration, duty, and observance;
All humbleness, all patience, and impatience;
All purity, all trial, all observance;
And so am I for Phebe.P/G: And so am I for Ganymede.
O/C: And so am I for Rosalind.
R/J: And so am I for no woman.
And so am I for Richard, thought Anne.
And so am I for no woman, thought Richard.
And will any woman ever be so for me? wondered Darcy.
R/J: But no more of this.
[To Silvius] I will help you if I can.
[To Phebe] I would love you if I could. I will marry you, if ever I marry woman.
[To Orlando] I will satisfy you if ever I satisfied man; and you shall be married tomorrow.
"How does she make it work out?" asked George. "Well, she makes Orlando promise to arrive ready to be married. She makes Phebe promise to marry Silvius if she rejects Ganymede. So, the next day, the lovers all assemble, and Rosalind shows up as herself, not as Ganymede."
R/J: [To Orlando] To you I give myself, for I am yours.O/C: If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind.
P/G: If sight and shape be true, why then-my Ganymede adieu!
R/J: [To Orlando] I'll have no husband if you be not he.
[To Phebe] Nor never wed woman, if you not be she.P/G: [To Silvius] I will not eat my word; now thou art mine.
"And they all lived happily ever after!" pronounced George. After bows had been taken and the applause died down, George continued, "And our next scenes will be played by Lizzy and Darcy."
Darcy started to object, but George cut him off, "Come on, Darce, you knew you'd get a turn eventually."
To make sure he went through with it, Georgie whispered to her brother, "You have to do it. We don't want to give Richard or Anne an excuse to opt out, and I know that what George has for them is going to be worth it. So get up!"
With a sigh, Darcy stood. He turned and bowed to Lizzy and offered her his hand. She took it and rose. Nervously, they accepted the scripts. Darcy's eyebrows shot up at the choice. Lizzy flipped through the pages.
"George, I'm not doing that long speech at the end of the play."
"No, no, Georgie already told me that I'd have a riot on my hands from you and Anne if I put the capitulation speech in."
"Who chose this part for me?" Lizzy turned on Darcy, "Did you pick this? Do you think I'm a shrew?"
Getting into character a little early, Darcy said imperiously, "I did not think so madam, until this moment."
"Oh!" exclaimed Lizzy in disgust.
George laughed, and began his narration, "Well, I see our actors are warmed up, I suppose by now, I don't have to tell you which play this is." Everyone laughed at this. "So, I give you Kate and Petruchio at their first meeting."
Petruchio/Darcy: Good morrow, Kate; for that's your name, I hear.Katharina/Lizzy: Well you have heard, but something hard of hearing; they call me Katharine, that do talk of me.
P/D: You lie, in faith; for you are called plain Kate, and bonny Kate, and sometimes Kate the cursed, [Kate gasps] but Kate, the prettiest Kate in Christendom, Kate of Kate-Hall, my super-dainty Kate, for dainties are all cates. And therefore, Kate, hearing they mildness praised in every town, thy virtues spoke of, and thy beauty sounded, myself am moved to woo thee for my wife.
K/L: Moved! In good time-let he who moved you hither, remove you hence: I knew you at the first, you were a moveable.
P/D: Why, what's a moveable?
K/L: A joint-stool.
P/D: Thou has hit it: [Kneeling and offering his knee] come, sit on me.
K/L: Asses are made to bear, and so are you.
P/D: [Pulling her onto his knee] Women are made to bear, and so are you.
K/L: [Getting up] No such jade as you, if me you mean.
P/D: [Grasping her hand] Nay, come, Kate, you must not look so sour.
K/L: It is my fashion, when I see a crab.
P/D: Why, here's no crab, and therefore look not sour.
K/L: There is, there is.
P/D: Then show it me.
K/L: Had I a glass, I would.
P/D: What, you mean my face?
K/L: Well aimed. Let me go. [Pulling away her hand.]
P/D: No, I find you passing gentle. Twas told me you were rough and coy and sullen, and now I find report a very liar, for thou art pleasant, passing courteous, sweet as spring-time flowers. Nor hast thou pleasure to be cross in talk; but thou with mildness entertainst thy wooers, with gentle conference, soft and affable.
By now the dialogue was flying fast and furious. Lizzy and Darcy were completely caught up in their characters, each trying to deliver the lines with more zest than the other. Lizzy took advantage of Darcy's long speech to insert a pause. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow before continuing with her line.
K/L: Where did you study all this goodly speech?P/D: It is extempore, from my mother-wit.
K/L: A witty mother! Witless else her son.
P/D: Am I not wise?
K/L: Yes; keep you warm.
P/D: Marry, so I mean, sweet Katharine, in thy bed: and therefore setting all this chat aside, your father has consented that you shall be my wife. And will you, nill you, I will marry you. [Kate shakes her head.] Now, Kate, I am a husband for your turn; for by this light, whereby I see thy beauty, thou must be married to no man but me. For I am he born to tame you, Kate; and bring you from a wild Kate to a Kate conformable as other household Kates. I must and will have Katharine to my wife.
K/L: I'll see thee hanged on Sunday first!
"But of course, they are married on Sunday, although Petruchio shows up late and oddly dressed," explained George. "Then when they get to his house, he picks a quarrel with the servants over the food, so nobody gets any dinner. He argues with everyone in sight. He orders the tailor to bring her a gown, then rips it up because he doesn't like it-even though she does. It's a war of attrition, and eventually, she gives in, as we see in this scene on the way to her sister's wedding."
P/D: [Impatiently] Come on, o' God's name; once more toward our father's. Good Lord, how bright and goodly shines the moon!K/L: The moon? The sun! It is not moonlight now.
P/D: I say, it is the moon that shines so bright.
K/L: I know, it is the sun that shines so bright.
P/D: Now, by my mother's son, and that's myself, it shall be moon, or star, or what I list, ere I journey to your father's house again. Evermore crossed and crossed. Nothing but crossed.
Servant/George: [Whispering] Say as he says or we shall never go.
K/L: Forward, I pray, since we have come so far. And be it moon, or sun, or what you please; and if you please to call it a rush candle, henceforth I vow it shall be so for me.
P/D: I say it is the moon.
K/L: I know it is the moon.
P/D: Nay, then you lie; it is the blessed sun.
K/L: Then God be blessed, it is the blessed sun: but sun it is not when you say it is not; and the moon changes, even as your mind. What you will have it named, even that it is, and so shall be for Katharine.
Servant/George: Petruchio, go thy ways, the field is won.
P/D: Well, forward, forward, thus the bowl should run.
"And so, it appears that the shrew has been tamed," commented George. "But Petruchio has to test his victory, as we see here, near her father's house, where they encounter Kate's sister's failed suitors talking to the successful suitor."
K/L: Husband, let's follow, to see the end of this ado.P/D: First, kiss me Kate, and we will.
K/L: What, in the midst of the street?
P/D: What, art thou ashamed of me?
K/L: No sir; God forbid-but ashamed to kiss.
P/D: [Exasperated] Why then, let's home again. Come, let's away.
K/L: Nay, I will give thee a kiss. [Kisses Petruchio] Now pray thee, love, stay.
P/D: Is this not well? Come my sweet Kate; better once than never, for never too late."
The last few lines were delivered so tenderly that the audience had to strain to hear them. There was a moment of silence, and then everyone applauded. Lizzy and Darcy accepted the whistles and applause with grace. He bowed, she curtsied, to the audience, then to each other. Then George announced that there was one more play to do, and that the players would be Anne and Richard.
Richard got up, laughing, and took the script George held out for him. Anne sat in her seat, shaking her head. George put the script in her hand. She glanced at it, then glared at Darcy, who shrugged his shoulders and mouthed, "What?"
Anne stood and, as she walked by Darcy, she hissed, "I'll get you for this."
"What was that about?" whispered Lizzy.
"I have no idea," replied Darcy. Then George began his narration, and Darcy realized why Anne was angry.
"This couple, from Much Ado About Nothing, loves to bicker. They expend a great deal of effort, each trying to top the other's smart remark. Beatrice and Benedick are old acquaintances, and he is definitely not on her good side. We begin when they see each other after he has been off fighting some war or another. Benedick has been joking with his friends, but as he speaks, they begin to wander off."
Beatrice/Anne: I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior Benedick; nobody marks you.Benedick/Richard: What, my dear lady Disdain! Are you yet living?
Bea/A: Is it possible Disdain should die, when she hath such meet food to feed it, as Signior Benedick?
Ben/R: It is certain, I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart, for truly I love none.
Bea/A: A dear happiness to women: they would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God and my cold blood, I am of your humor for that. I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me.
Ben/R: God keep your ladyship still in that mind, so some gentleman or other shall escape a predestinate scratched face.
Bea/A: Scratching could not make it worse, 'twere such a face as yours.
Ben/R: Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher.
Bea/A: A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours.
Ben/R: I would my horse had the speed of your tongue. But keep your way. I have done. [Turning away and laughing]
Bea/A: [Sulking]You always end with a jade's trick; I know you of old.
"So you see," explained George, "We begin with a rascal of a bachelor, and somewhat bitter, um, single lady." The look on Anne's face told him that the expression old maid would not be acceptable. "Both of them swear to their friends that they will never marry. But their friends devise a way to make the two fall in love. The friends stage conversations in which each hears that the other is desperately in love. After the wedding of Beatrice's cousin is stopped by a slander-this false story is the nothing about which there is much ado-Benedick comforts Beatrice, and in doing so reveals how he feels.
Benedick/Richard: Lady Beatrice, have you wept all this while?Beatrice/Anne: Yea, and I will weep a while longer.
Ben/R: I will not desire that.
Bea/A: You have no reason, I do it freely.
Ben/R: Surely I do believe your fair cousin is wronged.
Bea/A: Ah, how much might the man deserve of me that would right her!
Ben/R: Is there any way to show such friendship?
Bea/A: A very even way, but no such friend.
Ben/R: May a man do it?
Bea/A: It is a man's office, but not yours.
Ben/R: [tenderly]I do love nothing in the world so well as you; is that not strange?
Although she knew the play well enough to know this line was coming, Anne was unprepared for its impact on her. Grateful for the stage direction that said 'confused,' she stumbled through her next lines.
Bea/A: [Confused]As strange as the thing I know not. It were as possible for me to say, I loved nothing so well as you; but believe me not: and yet I lie not. I confess nothing, nor I deny nothing.
Richard barely heard Anne's dialogue. He had said it. He had said that he loved her. Granted, he said it as a character and not as himself. But it felt good, all the same.
Ben/R: By my sword, Beatrice, thou lovest me!Bea/A: Do not swear by it, and eat it.
Ben/R: I will swear by it, that you love me. And I will make him eat it that says I love not you.
Bea/A: Will you not eat your word?
Ben/R: With no sauce that can be devised to it. I protest, I love thee.
Bea/A: Why then, God forgive me!
Ben/R: What offense, sweet Beatrice?
Bea/A: You have stayed me in a happy hour; I was about to protest-I loved you.
Ben/R: Then do it with all thy heart.
Bea/A: I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest.
Ben/R: Come, bid me do anything for thee!
"Wait!" cried George. "You may think this is the happy ending, but even after this, when they are in company, they get cold feet. For this last scene, a little help is needed. Em will play Hero, Beatrice's cousin, and I will play Claudio, Hero's intended. The scene begins just as Hero and Claudio are finally about to be married. At this point, all the women in the wedding party are veiled."
Benedick/Richard: Which is Beatrice?Beatrice/Anne: I answer to that name; what is your will? [Removing veil]
Ben/R: Do not you love me?
Bea/A: Why no, no more than reason.
Ben/R: Why, then your uncle, and the prince, and Claudio have been deceived; they swore you did.
Bea/A: Do not you love me?
Ben/R: Troth, no, no more than reason.
Bea/A: Well, then, my cousin, Margaret, and Ursula are much deceived; for they did swear you did.
Ben/R: They swore you were almost sick for me.
Bea/A: They swore you were well-nigh dead for me.
Ben/R: Tis no such matter- [Pauses] then you do not love me?
Bea/A: No, truly, but in friendly recompense.
Claudio/George: I'll be sworn that he loves, for here's a paper [Removes paper from Benedick's pocket], written in his hand, a halting sonnet of his own pure brain, fashioned to Beatrice.
Hero/Em: And here's another, written in my cousin's hand, stolen from her pocket, containing her affection unto Benedick.
Ben/R: A miracle! Here's our own hands against our hearts! Come, I will have thee [Grudgingly], but by this light, I take thee for pity.
Bea/A: I would not deny you; but by this good day, I yield upon great persuasion; and partly to save your life, for I was told you were in a consumption.
Ben/R: Peace, I will stop your mouth. [Kisses Beatrice]
Richard swept Anne into his arms and kissed her soundly, which was met with resounding applause. So caught up in their characters (or maybe just in the kiss), they continued to kiss through a few seconds of applause. Then they hastily broke apart, and bowed deeply to hide the looks of amazement on their faces.
Georgie looked across at George and gave him a thumbs-up. All the actors congratulated one another on their fine performances. Richard was uncharacteristically quiet, but only Georgie noticed. Anne, Lizzy, and Darcy were not paying close attention to the swirling conversation.
Em and George left soon after, saying that they had to collect their son on the way home. Jane and Charles left, too. Richard had already slipped out unnoticed. After he was gone, Anne scolded Darcy and Georgie on their choice of part for her, but both swore that it was all George Knightly's doing.
"Well, now that you've humiliated me, I guess I'll be going. Are you ready, Lizzy?"
"Um, I was hoping we could stay a bit, give Jane and Charles a little time to say goodnight."
"Go ahead, Anne," said Darcy. "I can take Lizzy home."
"Oh, you don't have to bother, I can take a cab."
"No, Lizzy, it's late, I'll see you home." Darcy walked over to Anne. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered, "It'll be all right. It might just have been the wake-up call Richard needed. And I honestly did not pick out the selections, but I like how it all turned out. Good night, Anne."
"Night, Darce."
Darcy returned to the living room. He, Lizzy, Georgie, and Chris sat in silence for a minute. Then, Mrs. Reynolds came in and asked if they wanted anything to eat or drink. They all declined.
"Oh, no," said Lizzy. I'm still full from dinner. It was an excellent dinner, and a wonderful party. George did a marvelous job doing the selections. What a lot of work!"
"I think he already had some of them prepared," said Georgie. "He coaches speech events, and probably gives students some of those to practice on."
"Will, why was Anne annoyed about her selection?" asked Lizzy. "If anyone should be annoyed, it's me. I was the one given the role of the shrew!"
Darcy laughed, "George made the choices, Lizzy, take it up with him. Anne was upset because I had called her Beatrice the other day. I have to say, watching the two of them do Bea and Ben was very familiar. They have baited each other like that for years."
"But underneath all that?"
"I don't know."
"Richard certainly was quiet after that, did you notice?" asked Georgie.
"Not really, but he did slip away quietly, didn't he?"
Another silence fell on the group. Then Chris spoke up.
"You two were awesome! The way you did the dialogue so fast. Anne and George were almost teasing, but you two, it was like war-you were ready to let each other have it!"
Lizzy laughed, "Well, Petruchio comes on strong, overbearing, and Kate isn't about to have any of it, so it's a real fight, not teasing. In some productions, it can get pretty physical. Once, I remember, when she mentioned the 'moveable, the stool,' the actress actually picked up a three-legged stool and threw it at Petruchio!"
"I'm glad you didn't find a chair to hurl at me!" cried Darcy.
"So what was the speech you didn't want to do?" asked Chris.
"At the very end, Kate has a long speech about how the husband is the lord and master. It's problematic for modern productions, because it's so subservient, and some feminists get angry at it. But you have to consider the time. Women weren't as independent then."
"Hmm," said Chris. "The man as lord and master. I like that."
Georgie swatted him with a throw pillow, "Yeah, right!"
"Lizzy is right about women back then," said Darcy. "And yet, look at the feisty women in Shakespeare. Viola takes on a man's persona, and so does Rosalind. Kate and Beatrice both speak their minds freely."
"But Kate and Beatrice get tamed," added Chris. "I mean, they start out saying 'No,' but both give in and get married."
"The men soften, too," said Georgie. "Both start out swaggering, but come to treat the women tenderly. OK, Petruchio isn't exactly tender, but you know what I mean."
"Well, sure, once the woman has been tamed-"
"Hah!" Georgie and Lizzy interrupted Chris in mid-sentence.
"Give up, Chris," laughed Darcy. I doubt you'll find many tamable women in this century." He looked at Lizzy, who was laughing at Chris. Would he want a tame Lizzy? Bland and flattering and constantly agreeable, like so many women he had met? No, a tame Lizzy wouldn't be Lizzy.
"Will? Hello?" The object of his musings waved her hand in front of his face.
"Sorry."
Where were you?"
"Hmm? Just trying to imagine you and Georgie tame."
"And?"
"Can't picture it."
"I should hope not!" she declared, rising from her chair. "It has been a lovely evening, but I think it's time to go. Should I call a cab from here, or will the doorman do it?"
"Neither. I will take you home."
"But-"
"But cab it is not when I say it is not! I'll just get my keys and then we'll go."
As Darcy and Lizzy walked out of the apartment, Darcy looked back at Chris.
"I'll be on my way in a few minutes," was the answer to the unasked question.
"Goodnight, then, Chris."
"Goodnight, Will. Goodnight, Lizzy."
As the elevator began its descent, Will smiled at Lizzy, "Thanks for being a good sport about the play-acting and pairing off. You were a hell of a Kate."
"So, you're saying that I am a shrew?"
"No, I'm saying that you channeled a lot of your natural energy into the part. You are one of the most alive people I've ever met, Lizzy. You've been good for Georgie. I can see how your feisty nature has rubbed off on her. It's good, as long as she doesn't get too feisty."
"Feisty, huh? If I be waspish, best beware my sting."
Recognizing some of the dialogue from "Taming of the Shrew" that George had not used, Darcy continued, "Why the remedy is to pluck it out."
"Aye, if the fool could find it."
"Who does not know where the wasp carries his sting? In his tongue."
"In his tail!"
"In his tongue, I say!" Then he added softly, "Because you can't make waspish remarks if your mouth is otherwise occupied." And he kissed her, which did, in fact, silence her for the rest of the trip to the basement.
The elevator arrived at the garage and the door opened. The cold night air rushed in, getting their attention, and they broke the kiss. As they stood looking at each other, the doors started to close. Darcy swung out his arm and hit the door to make it open. He held the door and Lizzy walked out of the elevator in front of him.
He opened the car door for her, and got in on the other side. Neither had spoken a word. They had almost reached Lizzy's apartment when she spoke.
"This was one of the most imaginative parties I've ever been to. Thank you for inviting me."
"My pleasure. I'm glad you could come. And I meant what I said about Georgie. You've been good for her."
He stopped the car in front of Lizzy's door. He turned to look at her.
"Well..."
"Goodnight, Will."
He kissed her lightly. "Goodnight, Lizzy."
She let herself out of the car and entered the building. When the door shut behind her, she turned and waved. He drove home, wondering if getting the bachelor's button really did mean he'd have to be single for another year.