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Part I
Mr. Collins leafed through the letters in the tray. None of then took his interest save one. There was a missive from his in-laws and he became most curious to find out the news from Meryton, since he had interests there. As soon as his cousin passed on he would become Master of Longbourn. He also wanted to know if there was any news of his cousins. Miss Lydia had brought shame on her family by running off with the son of Lady Catherine's sister and brother in law's steward.
"So perish the ungodly," he thought smugly.
Now the arrogant young woman who had refused the honor of marriage to him would get her just desserts.
Knowing that Mrs. Collins did not like him to read her mail before she had a chance to peruse it he looked about furtively.
Charlotte was not in sight and he remembered that she had gone to the village to visit old Mrs. Wheaton who had been ill.
Slipping a knife under the wax seal carefully he took the letter to the window to read it making sure he did not crack the wax so that when he had finished it he could put it back and warm it a bit with his fingers to make it stick in the hope that his wife would never know he had read it.
As he read on he became incensed to read that Mr. Bingley had returned to Netherfield and was again courting Miss Jane Bennet. He had been so sure that no man of good fortune would ever have anything to do with the Bennets after their shame and humiliation. Instead Mr. Bingley a young man of wealth and standing in society was expected to ask for his cousin's hand at any time.
Taking a deep breath he took control of him self before going on thinking as he did so that this should not be. These relatives who had scorned him should never have fallen into such good fortune. They should have all wound up as governesses or ladies companions.
He gasped and clutched the window sill as he read on.
Lady Lucas went on to say that Lady DeBourg's own nephew was with Mr. Bingley and was spending a great deal of time at Longbourn House with Miss Elizabeth Bennet.
She went on to speculate on the possibility of a marriage between Mr. Darcy and Miss Elizabeth.
Without thinking he dropped the letter and grabbing his hat ran out the door saying to himself as he went. "This cannot be. I will not allow it. She will not be allowed to marry a man of Mr. Darcy's wealth and position. She must remain an old maid. She refused me, she must never have anyone else. Mr. Darcy is to marry Lady Anne. Lady Debourg has decreed it. He must marry his cousin, he must. He must not be allowed to marry such as she."
Stopping in his tracks he thought spitefully, "Of course, this is why she would not have me. She was seeking bigger game, she wanted Darcy all along. She danced with him at the Netherfield ball, did she not. It was the only dance he partook of. Even then she was looking for a rich husband. She was after Mr. Darcy."
"Well we shall see, Miss Elizabeth Bennet. When I tell her ladyship of your perfidy she will know what to do. She will know how to put you in your place. Lady Catherine Debourg will settle things with you Bennets once and for all."
Running into the door at Rosing Park he shouted to Mrs. Jenkinson, who was the first person he saw, "Where is her ladyship I have urgent business with her, I must see her at once, at once, do you hear."
Charlotte took off he bonnet and cape and hung them on the tree in the hall.
"Mr. Collins, I am home," she cried as she walked into the parlor where she saw the letter lying on the floor. As she picked up the maid Matilda came out of the dining room and said, "Mr. Collins is not here, Ma'am, he took his hat and ran out shouting that he had to go to Rosings park on urgent business."
Charlotte looked at her quizzically as she took a seat to read her letter from her mother. She was not pleased that Mr. Collins had read her mail and she would let him know of her unhappiness with him as soon as he returned.
She smiled as she read the news of Jane and Mr. Bingley. I am happy for you dear Jane she sighed. You deserve such a good man. Your family deserves some good news after Lydia's debacle.
As she read the next paragraph she scowled, now she knew what had her husband in such a dither and why he had run to see Lady Debourg.
"Mr. Collins, Mr. Collins," she sighed, "what foolishness have you done now. I can only hope that her Ladyship does not kill the messenger."
Part II
Mr. Collins slipped through the door and started to tiptoe down the hall to his office, hoping his wife was not yet home or if she were she would not hear him.
He leapt into the air and spun around when he heard his Charlotte's voice; in that quiet, cold, deadly manner which she used when she was extremely angry.
"Mr. Collins, did you think to slip into your hidey hole without a word to me."
Mr. Collins removed his hat, which in his haste he had forgotten to leave on the hat tree in the hall. A cascade of white flakes fell down upon his shoulders and onto the floor, where he was standing first on one leg and then the other in a nervous manner.
He feared his dear Charlotte almost as much as Lady Catherine when she was in this mood.
"And how is Lady DeBourg, she asked, is she well."
"What sent you off to Rosings Park in such haste so early in the day, Mr. Collins?"
"Why my dear, you must know that I had to inform Lady DeBourg of my cousin's perfidy with all haste," he exclaimed.
"What perfidy is that, sir, what has your cousin done that you should be in such haste to run to Rosings when you know that Lady Catherine does not like to be disturbed in the morning, especially at such and hour."
"Might I be so bold as to ask which cousin you speak of, Mr. Collins? You have five, as I recall. It cannot be Lydia. That subject has been exhausted I believe, and there was nothing of Mr. or Mrs. Wickham in Mama's letter."
"Why cousin Elizabeth and her pursuit of Mr. Darcy; who as you know is engaged to Lady Anne Debourg; and the possibility of an engagement between them."
"Where ever did you get the idea that Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy were engaged," she asked, her eyes steely.
"Why your Mother---," Mr. Collins stopped and turned red . He had given himself away, What an embarrassment.
"My mother," Charlotte said coldly. "I know you read the letter Mr. Collins. I however saw nothing of an engagement to Mr. Darcy, only some idle speculation and country gossip."
"But, she said he was going to Longbourn every day with Mr. Bingley and was seen walking with Miss Elizabeth."
"I saw nothing about his walking with anyone, only that Mr. Bingley was again at Netherfield and Mr. Darcy was his guest. Mother did say that Mr. Bingley was courting Miss Jane Bennet, but I saw nothing of them walking about the country with the two men you mention."
"But is that not what they do at Longbourn. Is that not what they did before? What else is there to do there?"
"Mr. Darcy is Mr. Bingley's guest, do you think he would stay at Netherfield alone while Mr. Bingley went calling on the neighbors, Mr. Collins?"
"I didn't think of that," he sighed, "I only thought that he might be courting cousin Elizabeth."
"You did not take the time to think at all, Mr. Collins," she said sharply. "How much of your concern was for Lady Catherine and Lady Anne and how much was the fear that the girl who had refused your offer of marriage might be courted by the most sought after man in England, by every mother with a daughter of she has to marry off. Or every single woman such as Miss Bingley, who has her own plans to be Mistress of Pemberley."
Stepping close to him she brushed the white flake from his shoulder.
"Crumbs, Mr. Collins, crumbs, where would you get crumbs?"
Mr. Collins looked mortified and wished nothing more than to get away from his wife.
"Lady Catherine was at tea when I arrived," he whispered.
"Speak up, sir, I have difficulty hearing you," Charlotte demanded. "If Lady Catherine was having tea how did you get crumbs in your hair and on your shoulders."
"Her ladyship was most distressed at my message," he answered staring at his feet. "She threw biscuits at me shouting that I was a fool and quite mistaken, that Mr. Darcy knew his duty and would never lower himself to marry Miss Elizabeth Bennet."
"Cook brought in a fresh loaf of bread and her ladyship proceeded to hit me on the head with it as I fled her wrath."
Charlotte fought to keep from laughing. Taking a minute to control herself she sent her husband to his study.
Collins was only too happy to make his escape for the second time that day and scurried off to seek his privacy.
Charlotte fell onto the couch with laughter as she brought into her mind the picture of Lady Catherine pursuing Mr. Collins from the house brandishing what was left of her loaf of bread.
Part III
Mr. Williams flew about the room.
"Mrs. Collins, Mr. Collins," he squeaked, "are the floors freshly swept, are the rugs pounded, is the dusting done, is all as clean as may be?"
"Mr. Collins calm yourself," Charlotte said, "what has you in such a state. Of course the work is all done and everything is well cleaned. We have an excellent staff. They know what they are about. Now sit yourself down and tell me what is the matter."
"It is her ladyship," he gasped, wiping the sweat from his brow, "she sent a servant to us to say she would be calling this morning. Everything must be in perfect order. You know how particular she is. she will be looking at every nook and cranny for dust."
Charlotte looked startled as he flew by her and down the hall. Soon he returned wearing a pair of white gloves. Pulling them on he proceeded to go about the room running his hands over each and every piece of furniture, checking that there be not a speck of dust in the house.
"Mr. Collins, what are you doing," Charlotte laughed. "I told you Marie has done all the dusting. I am sure you will find nothing amiss but I find the white gloves a little too much, sir. Take them off and sit down and calm yourself."
Checking again to see that there was nothing on either he took the gloves off saying as he did so, "My dear Charlotte, this is the way Lady Catherine checks her rooms every day. If a speck of dust is found anywhere, that maid is sent to the kitchen to doing the washing up for a week . If it happens a second time she is out of the house forever. I cannot take the chance that she might us wanting in our stewardship of Hunsford Cottage."
Brushing his greasy hair back over the bald spot he rushed to welcome Lady Catherine Debourg.
"Your Ladyship, welcome to our humble abode," he mumbled, bowing over and over as he backed farther into the room with her every step.
"Sarah, Sarah, ring for tea for her ladyship," he shouted for the parlor maid.
Lady Catherine looked at him coolly as she ran her gloved hand over the table beside the chair where she sat down.
"Yes, yes, Mr. Collins, but enough," she said disdainfully.
"I am come to speak to you Mrs. Collins," turning to Charlotte. "Mr. Collins has informed me that you have had a letter from your family, with some news that I find most vexing. Is it true that she tells you that my nephew, Mr. Darcy is in Herdfordshire courting you friend, Mr. Collins cousin, Miss Elizabeth Bennet."
"The letter said nothing about any courtship, your ladyship. It only the speculations and gossip which you know is won't to circulate in small towns where every one tends to keep track of their neighbors business."
"I will judge for myself, Mrs. Collins, I must insist that you show me this letter that I might satisfy myself. You may go and get if for me now"
"Yes, yes, my dear, go get the letter for her ladyship. She is so much wiser about these things. I know she will tell us if there is anything we must be on guard against and what we can do to be of assistance to her."
Charlotte gave him a look of such complete disgust as she passed by him that he shrunk back into his chair while smiling weakly Lady Catherine.
Lady Debourg snatched the letter from Charlotte and read it quickly at first, then went over it again very carefully.
"You are quite right Mrs. Collins," she smiled at Charlotte, "it is nothing but country speculation. My nephew goes visiting the neighbors with his friend and each of them reads into it that which they wish to see. I knew that Darcy would not be taken by a poor country cousin of my own clergyman."
Turning to him she said, "Mr. Collins I see nothing her about walks around the park or courtship on the part of anyone but Mr. Bingley. You have distressed me without reason, Mr. Collins. I would advise you not to do it again. You have too lively an imagination, Mr. Collins, that will not do in a clergyman."
"No, no your worship, I swear I shall only give you the facts from this day on. I will not let my thoughts run away with me gain, ever, I swear, I truly swear."
With a small bow Lady Catherine swept from the room, muttering, "Fool."
Mr. Collins fled to his office as his wife turned to face him with an angry glare.
Three days later Charlotte received another letter from her mother informing her that Jane Bennet and Mr. Bingley were engaged.
"Your father still insists that he can see that Mr. Darcy is partial to Lizzy. I cannot say that I see it myself, but your father is sure that there is something there. I cannot say that they pay any particular attention to each other or even speak to one another often. But Mr. Darcy does little talking at any time. he does watch her a great deal though.
"Yesterday we were at Longbourn for afternoon tea. Lizzie poured coffee while Mary poured the tea. Mr. Darcy took coffee, which is unusual, any other time he has always taken tea. He and Lizzie had a very short conversation. She inquired about his sister and he answered that she was still at Pemberley. They could go not further with the conversation as Mary Long took Lizzie's attention away. You dear father insists that Mr. Darcy taking the coffee from Lizzie, though he does not care for it proves that he is partial to her. I think it nonsense but Sir William seems certain that he is right."
"Oh dear, Oh dear, Miss Bennet and Mr. Darcy, what am I to do, how can I go to her ladyship with this news," Mr. Collins wailed.
"What news, Charlotte snapped, this is again nothing but speculation on the part of my father. He sees romance in every smile given by a man to a girl."
"I can tell you now Mr. Collins that he is wrong, Lizzie dislikes Mr. Darcy to such an extreme that I can assure you that she is only being civil."
"Miss Elizabeth dislikes Mr. Darcy! Impossible," He gasped, "no sane woman would dislike Mr. Darcy. He is one of the wealthiest men in the country and his position in society is of the highest order. How can you say that my cousin dislikes him. No woman in England would dislike Mr. Darcy, My dear Charlotte."
Charlotte smiled, "Elizabeth Bennet is not like any of the women of whom you speak. She is an independent spirit, she will only marry a man she loves and respects without regard to wealth or position. I know because she told herself how she detests him," Charlotte continued, folding her letter and putting it in her pocket, "so you may put your fears to rest Mr. Collins. There will be no engagement between the two of them."
Part IV
Mr. Collins bowed his way into Lady Catherine's presence.
"Good day to you, Mr. Collins," her ladyship greeted him.
"Have you discharged all the duties I set before you yesterday. Did you tell farmer Maxwell that he must repair his roof. There is no excuse for a man to allow a hole in the roof of his house. Especially since the house is my property."
"Yes indeed, your ladyship I have taken care of everything, but farmer Maxwell says he does not have any money to repair the roof."
"You will return to the man's farm and tell him that I command him to make the proper repairs. Being poor is no excuse. tell him I do not allow my tenants to be poor men. He must do better."
"Yes, yes your grace, I will do as you command," Mr. Collins bowed as low as possible without falling over completely.
"Bye the bye, Mr. Collins, have you heard any further from the Mrs. Collins' mother."
"Why yes we had a letter just this morning informing us of the engagement of Miss Jane Bennet and Mr. Bingley."
" A most advantageous marriage for Miss Bennet, indeed."
"Yes, yes Mr. Collins," he ladyship snapped, "but what of my nephew, Mr. Darcy, is there still rumour of an attachment between him and Miss Elizabeth Bennet."
"My Charlotte says not," he replied. "Sir William seems to think so but Lady Lucas does not."
"Lady Lucas says the only time she has seen them together was at an afternoon tea. Miss Bennet was pouring coffee and Mr. Darcy took that instead of tea. Darcy took coffee, Lady Debourg's head snapped around. Darcy took coffee, Darcy does not care for coffee, he is a tea drinker. What more did Lady Lucas say. Was there more. Did they indulge in a conversation."
"Tell me at once sir."
"There was very little conversation," Lady Lucas said. "She said Miss Bennet inquired about Mr. Darcy's sister, if she was still in Derbyshire or if she has gone to London. He informed her that Miss Darcy was still at Pemberley."
"She inquired of his sister," Lady Catherine shouted. "What does she know of his sister. She is not acquainted with my niece, is she Mr. Collins, how would she know that Miss Georgiana was at Pemberley."
"I believe she met Miss Darcy last summer when she was with her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner on a trip to Derbyshire. Mrs. Gardiner it would seem lived in Lambton as in her youth and went there to visit old friends."
"Mr. Darcy graciously asked them to dine with them and showed them the grandeurs of Pemberley."
"They dined at Pemberley, Mr. Collins, they dined at Pemberley."
"Why wasn't I informed of this, why have you hidden this information from me, Mr. Collins. I find this most vexing, most vexing indeed."
"Barnes, Barnes," she shouted, come at once, "I have need of you and tell Mrs. Jenkenson that i wish to see her too."
The butler came running to see what had her ladyship in such a state that she would be shouting so loudly.
"Barnes, I wish to go the Herdfordshire at first light tomorrow. Make sure that all preparations are made. Have the barouche-box reddied. I shall go to Herdfordshire with all haste.
"Mr. Collins your cousin is obviously setting her sights on my nephew and Pemberley. I shall go the her home and let it be know that Mr. Darcy is to marry my Anne. I will not be gainsaid in this. I shall let that ungrateful upstart Miss Elizabeth Bennet that I am aware of her plans and I will not allow it. Leave me now, sir, there is much to do before tomorrow."
Mr. Collins scurried down the lane to Hunsford cottage.
As he entered the house Charlotte was taken aback at the fear and trembling in her husband.
"Mr. Collins, whatever is the matter," she asked, "is Lady Catherine in a temper today."
"Oh, indeed she is, yes indeed my dear Mrs. Collins she is in such a temper as I have never seen."
"What is it, sir, what has happened now."
"I told her of your latest letter from your mother and she was most unhappy to find that Mr. Darcy took coffee instead of tea," He whined.
Charlotte laughed, "What is so upsetting about that Mr. Collins, I am sure that it is not the first time Mr. Darcy has taken coffee to tea."
"Do not laugh, Mrs. Collins," he was near to tears. "I told her that cousin Elizabeth inquired about Miss Darcy and that she and the Gardiners had been guests at Pemberley last summer."
"Why would you mention that now, Mr. Collins, it was months ago, why would she ask about it."
He hung his head, "I told her that Miss Bennet inquired about the health of Miss Darcy and she became most vexed to find that they were acquainted."
"What is wrong with that," Charlotte scowled, "their meeting was a brief one, if I recall they left the next day after word came to them that Lydia had run off with Mr. Wickham. They could hardly be called close friends on such short acquaintance. Lizzie was just making polite conversation."
"I don't know, I don't know," he wrung his hands, "but Lady Debourg is going to Herdfordshire at first light to confront cousin Elizabeth and let her know that her plans are for naught. Mr. Darcy will marry Lady Anne as soon as her ladyship settles with him on the date."
For three days he waited, watching and listening for the sound of the carriage bearing Lady Catherine and her daughter back to Rosings Park.
At last she was back and Mr. Collins waited on pins and needles for her summons.
His wait was not long for within the hour word was sent for him to come to the manor house.
"Your ladyship, I do hope your visit was successful, he murmured," head down.
Lady Catherine was not in the best of moods.
"Your cousin is the most ungrateful impertinent young woman I have ever met," she snapped. "She was most disrespectful to me and refused to promise me that she would not accept my nephew is he should ask for her hand. Mr. Darcy was not there, He had the good sense to return to London. I therefore went to Darcy house and informed him of the conversation between myself and that ungrateful chit.
"I told him of her plans for him and how uncivil she had been to me, repeating word for word our conversation. He assured me that he would go to Longbourn as soon as may be and let Miss Bennet know of his feelings on the subject. I can tell you for a certainty Mr. Collins Miss Elizabeth Bennet has been foiled."
"I am so glad to hear it Lady Debourg," he bowed, "when are he and Lady Anne to be wed. I must prepare well for such a happy occasion."
"He refused to speak of it," she replied, "I made sure he wishes to settle matters with Miss Bennet before coming to Rosings and setting a date"
"Oh I am sure, Your Ladyship, I am sure, he will be here as soon as may be. With your permission I shall return to Hunsford Cottage and give the good news to Mrs. Collins."
Five days later a letter arrived from Elizabeth Bennet herself informing them of her engagement to Mr. Darcy.
"Engaged, cousin Elizabeth is engaged to Mr. Darcy. This cannot be. Lady Catherine is expecting him to arrive at any time to prepare for the marriage between her daughter and her cousin. How shall I tell her ladyship, she will be most vexed, she might dismiss me," Mr. Collins wailed.
"I would suggest, Mr. Collins that you let Mr. Darcy inform his aunt," Charlotte helped him to a chair.
"We have been discussing a visit to Lucas Lodge before it is to late for me to travel in my condition. I am sure Lady Debourg will let us go if I ask her. I shall go to her this afternoon and get permission while you find a pastor to take your place while we are gone. I would recommend Mr. Peters, Mr. Collins."
"But Lady Catherine does not like Mr. Peters. He chastises her for not taking better care of her tenants and the town, Mr. Collins whined, he tells her she should be more generous with them and give them more from the crops and the wool that they raise."
"Exactly," Charlotte smiled, "she will soon miss you and beg for our return."
Part V
Permission had been obtained from Lady Debourgh and Mr. Peters had agreed to fill the pulpit whilst the Collins' were in Herdfordshire. Mr. Peters was all to happy to take on this assignment in the hope that he might this time soften the heart of Lady Catherine Debourgh and make her show more compassion for her tenants and the people in the village.
Mr. Peters was a courageous, though not too bright man.
The day that all was ready a command came from Rosings Park that Mr. Collins come immediately into her ladyship's presence.
"It would seem from the tone of her ladyship's note that she has received a letter from Mr. Darcy, I would venture to guess," Charlotte said with a sigh, as she watched her husband ready himself with fear and trembling.
"Oh Mrs. Collins what am I to do, what will I say to Lady Catherine and her poor disappointed daughter. Poor, poor, Miss Anne Debourgh. To have the man you have relied on to be your husband for three and twenty years stolen from you by a mere country girl with no fortune and no position in society," he wrung his hands and wiped his brow.
Mr. Collins stepped before her ladyship, pale and trembling as he noted the veins sticking out on her neck as she tried to contain herself.
"Mr. Collins, I have had the most vexing news from my nephew," she waved a letter in his face.
"Mr. Darcy has written to tell me that he is now engaged to Miss Elizabeth Bennet and plans to be married in a month's time. He asks for my blessing and sends his regards to my poor dear daughter. He has the audacity to ask me to wish him joy. WISH HIM JOY!!!!!!!!!! I will never wish him joy. He has broken my heart. My daughter should be the one who becomes the mistress of Pemberley. Not that ungrateful upstart chit. He will never again be welcome to Rosings Park. I shall never see him again.
"I have need of your service Mr. Collins. I shall go to Matlock Manor to speak to my brother. Lord Matlock will know how to act, he will put an end to this nonsense for once and for all. Darcy will not marry Miss Elizabeth Bennet. he will be called upon to do his duty and marry my daughter. My brother will take care of this manner for me. I shall need you to accompany me Mr. Collins. You must tell my brother what an unworthy family the Bennets are. He will listen to a man who has family ties."
"But your ladyship we are to go to Lucas Lodge time in two days time. Mrs. Collins has all prepared. She would be most unhappy if our trip is postponed and Mr. Peters arrives tomorrow."
"Bother Mr. Peters, let him come. It is your services I have need of. I know of your plans, Mr. Collins," Lady Catherine snapped. "Mrs. Collins asked permission for this trip herself, as you recall. I agreed before I knew of the so-called engagement between your cousin and my nephew. You will send Mrs. Collins on to Herdfordshire in the company of Becker and his amiable wife. She will be quite safe I assure you. They will go in one of my carriages."
"Your ladyship is all kindness to those of us so undeserving," Mr. Collins bowed to his shoe tops. "I cannot thank you enough Lady Debourgh. One of your own carriages. I am beside myself with gratitude."
"Enough, enough, sir. If you had done your duty and married Miss Bennet yourself we would not have been in this unseemly state."
"But your ladyship. She refused my offer," he whined.
"I do not want to hear any more, Mr. Collins, you should have insisted. You are weak, Mr. Collins, weak as water."
The two carriages went north together one going on to Hedfordshire and the other staying in London.
"Mr. Collins," Lady Catherine shouted, "where are you. I have sent word to my brother that we shall arrive at Lucas Lodge this evening. You must be ready in three hour's time."
Mr. Collins popped up, seemingly from our of nowhere, bowing and scraping. "I understand, your grace, I shall be ready at any time you summon me."
Lord Robert Matlock quickly read the note handed to him by the servant.
"Rebecca, Rebecca," he shouted, "where are you Mrs. Fitzwilliam. Rebecca."
Lady Matlock hurried into the room.
"What is it my love, is the white soup ruined, are you ill, are the servants come down with an illness, what is it Robert, what has happened."
Passing her the note his lordship paced back and forth in front of her as she read it.
"Good Lord," she gasped, "Catherine."
"What are we to do now my love?"
"Depend on Catherine to arrive on the very evening we are giving a party for our dear Darcy and his lovely bride-to-be."
"Well, dear we shall have to hope for the best. We must hope that your sister can contain her temper and not make a fool of herself before our guests."
"Do not depend on it," Lord Matlock sighed, "and to make matters even worse she brings her odious clergyman with her."
Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam, strolled into the room.
"What is the shouting about, he asked, I could hear you as far away as my room, Father."
Reading the note passed to him by his mother he began to laugh. "Aunt Catherine decides to visit this very day," he gasped for breath. "Oh Mama you must admit this is the biggest joke I have ever heard. What fun this evening promises. Oh my and the toady comes too. Cannot you see the humor in this."
Both his parents began to laugh with him.
"Well we have a reputation for lively parties," his mother giggled. "I would wager this shall be the liveliest ever."
Lady Catherine swept into the room looking at the people around her with disdain and anger. "You have guests, brother, did you not receive my note."
"These people were invited long before you came to town Catherine, you will have to make the most of it."
"But I have important business I must discuss with you. It will not wait brother."
Lord Matlock was becoming more and more angry at his sister's assumption that they would quit everything to attend her.
"It will wait Catherine, it will have to," he snapped.
"Mr. Collins, Mr. Collins, where are you?" Lady Catherine shouted angrily.
Mr. Collins was reaching for a glass of wine from a tray carried by a servant, when he heard her ladyship's screech. Leaping into the air a full foot at the sound, he bumped into the wine steward and the maid following him with a tray of fruit sending everything cascading about the room.
As he came down he landed on a plum squashing it and sending him skidding across the room where he landed face first in the ample bosom of Lady Cynthia Wentworth as she sat talking to Lady St John. The lady screamed as she tossed him flying through the air where he landed at the foot of the newly arriving guests.
"Mr. and Mrs. Richard Gardiner, Miss Jane Bennet, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy, Mr. Charles Bingley," the butler announced over the din.
"Cousin, Elizabeth, cousin Jane, Mr. Darcy," Mr. Collins gasped as he tried to pull him self up from his prone position, only to be foiled by a remnant of the aforementioned plum.
"Mr. Collins," Darcy said , hardly able to contain himself from the bursting forth with laughter he felt swelling up inside him.
"May I assist you," he choked as he picked the red-faced clergyman up and assisted him to his feet.
"BENNET, BENNET," Lady Catherine screeched. "You have invited these vipers into your home, brother."
"Indeed sister, this party is to celebrate the engagement of our dearest nephew and Miss Bennet as well as her sister Miss Jane Bennet and Mr. Bingley."
"Celebrate. Celebrate such perfidy," Lady Catherine shouted, "I will not have it brother. If you do not send these people away at once I shall never see you again."
"Do not speak foolishness, Catherine, of course I will not send anyone home but you if you do not control yourself."
"Then, I leave your house forever, you are no longer my brother. Come Mr. Collins, I return to Dover House. NOW, Mr. Collins."
"Poor Lady Margaret," Lady Rebecca whispered to Lady St John. "She will not have an easy night. Catherine will vent her anger on her for hours."
"And what of her poor silly clergyman," Lady Sophia giggled. "Will he survive the night, do you think."
Part VI
Mr. Collins sidled into the breakfast room, looking furtively about. Finding himself alone he heaved a sigh of relief.
No more had the sigh emerged his lips than he heard a voice say, "Mr. Collins."
Leaping into the air with a rattle of crockery and silver he spun around and landed to find himself facing his host Sir John.
"Good Lord, Mr. Collins, I did not mean to startle you so. What has you up in the boughs this morning?"
"Oh your lordship," Mr. Collins gasped in relief, "I thought it might be Lady DeBourg. She was very vexed with me last night, she was in high dudgeon all the way home from Matlock House."
His lordship had heard all about the disastrous visit by Lady Catherine and her clergyman. He could naught but smile as he recalled her ladyships recollections of Mr. Collins encounter with the servant carrying the punch and the ensuing events after the poor toady had knocked the bowl from the man's hands and skated across the room only to fall unceremoniously into the lap of one his most hated dowagers, his face planted in her ample bosom. The poor man was then tossed across the floor by the same, only to land at the feet of the guests who had raised the ire of Lady Catherine to the point she began shouting at not only Mr. Collins but her brother and sister in law.
To her surprise it was she who was ordered to leave the house, not the guests who had raised her ire.
He glanced up from his paper as his guest seated himself and proceeded to stuff his mouth with eggs and bacon with one hand whilst shoveling toast in with the other, talking all the time, food falling from his mouth onto the table as he went on.
"This is all my cousin Elizabeth Bennets fault," Mr. Collins told him, looking about for any others who might be seeking breakfast.
"She is engaged to Mr. Darcy you know, and she has refused to listen to her ladyship and her voice of wisdom. She refused to acknowledge the agreement between Mr. Darcy's parents and Lady Catherine. She had the audacity to tell her ladyship that she had not heard of any engagement and would do what she thought was right and would bring her happiness.
"What an ungrateful wretch, to accept the hospitality of Lady Catherine DeBourg and Lady Anne and then to steal the man who was destined to be Lady Anne's husband, robbing her and her kind, generous, Christian mother of the happiness which is meant to be theirs when Lady Anne would be established as Mistress of Pemberley and the Darcy estates.
"I shall forbid Mrs. Collins to have any more to do with Miss Bennet if she persists in this marriage. She may be my Charlotte's best friend but that shall be ended on the day she marries Mr. Darcy. Of course, if she comes to her senses and does not pursue this marriage I shall permit the friendship to go on, after a suitable length of time.
"She refused my offer of marriage, you know. I should have known that she had her eyes set on someone higher when she would not consider my generous offer of a home by Rosings Park and the aegis of Lady Catherine Debourg."
"I would not burn any bridges too soon Mr. Collins, if I were you I would keep the doors open to the Darcy's," Lord John said. "Consider that Lady Catherine no longer goes about in society and the Darcy's certainly will do so, especially if Miss Bennet is as delightful a young woman as I have been told.
"Your wife is with child, I believe. Don't you think it would be more advantageous to your children if they had access to people who would be of help to bring your daughters out in society, and perhaps even present them at court. No Mr. Collins I would not sever ties with the Darcys or the Bennets if I were you.
"Besides I can tell you for a fact that the understanding between the Darcys and Lady Anne has been all in Lady Catherine's mind. Lady Anne feared that her son's feelings for his cousin were not what she would wish if he were to take a wife. Indifference is no basis for a marriage Mr. Collins.
"I can tell you for a fact that his father was dead set against it from the first time Catherine approached the prospect. George Darcy could not abide the idea of Lady Catherine presiding at Pemberley and he made his views known to all of us, including Lord and Lady Matlock."
Mr. Collins tiny brain was in turmoil, what should he do. Should he cut all ties with the Bennet side of his family, as Lady Catherine demanded or should he allow Charlotte to keep her friendship with cousin Elizabeth alive in the hope that it might prove advantageous in the future?
Lord John watched as the question flitted about in his guest's mind.
Watching him he wondered how any one could eat so much and still not miss a word as he ranted on about his relatives. How, he wondered could such a sensible, seemingly intelligent woman as Charlotte Collins marry such a toad as this.
Mrs. Collins had spent one afternoon and evening with them before going on to Herdfordshire to her parents. He had enjoyed her company a great deal and would like very much to see more of her, but the thought of her being under the thumb of this oaf and Lady Catherine was almost too much to bear.
"MR COLLINS," roared Lady Catherine Debourg, "what are you doing her dining with your betters, did I not tell you to be off to Herdfordshire at first light, Did I not tell you I did not wish to see you face again after your foolishness last night. You were a great embarrassment to me Mr. Collins and I would demand that you leave at once. Begone, begone, now."
Mr. Collins had leapt from his chair as he heard her ladyship's voice and now bowed again and again, whimpering, "Yes, yes your ladyship I should have left long ago, you are perfectly correct you ladyship. Please accept my humble apologies for my errors."
As he tried clumsily to extract himself from the chair which had fallen over as he jumped off it he heard a loud thwack causing both he and her ladyship to look to the head of the table in surprise.
"Enough, Catherine, enough, I will not have you treat my guest in such an uncivil manner. Mr. Collins is here because I invited him. This is my house and I shall decide who breakfasts here and who does not."
"He is my clergyman and he will do as I say, snapped Lady Catherine and I would beg you not to interfere in my business."
"This is my business when it is in my house, madam," Lord John replied in a deadly calm, quiet voice.
"Please, please do not quarrel. This is my fault, I must beg your pardon your lordship, I should have taken my breakfast in the kitchen, I should not be here in this beautiful breakfast room at all.
"I must thank you for your gracious hospitality sir, but I must take leave of you. If one of your servants would fetch me a hack I should be gone as soon as my bags are brought down."
Lord John could hardly keep his continence as he thought of the perfect way to put Catherine Debourg in a rage enough to leave his house, he hoped forever.
"Nonsense, Mr. Collins, you will not go to Herdfordshire by public conveyance, you shall go in one of my carriages." Turning to the lackey standing by the door he said, "George, go to the stables and tell Wilson to harness a carriage for Mr. Collins. Tell him they will be going to Meryton in Herdfordshire and back."
Mr. Collins was almost beside himself with joy at the thought of riding through town in a carriage bearing the ---crest.
"Oh, your lordship, it is too much, you are too kind, such generosity, such Christian generosity, I am overwhelmed," he bowed again and again as he strove to leave the table only to become caught up in the table cloth and pulling it toward him with a clatter of dishes and silver, sending tea, coffee and milk splashing.
Lord John turned his head aside so that Lady Catherine could not see the laughter that he could not contain at the sight of this poor fool of hers bowing and scraping whilst working desperately to extract himself.
"Your carriage," Lady Catherine turned white, then red, then blue in rage at the thought of Mr. Collins using one of his lordships carriages when she had told him he must go by public conveyance.
"I forbid it," she roared, "I will not have it, do you hear me."
Lord John smiled coldly at her as he stopped the lackey before he could leave the house saying, "Tell him to make it the barouche box."
"The barouche box," Lady Catherine squeaked, "the barouche box, this is an abomination, sir, this is the most uncivil thing you have ever done, Sir. I will not have it, bring that man back at once and tell him to take Mr. Collins to the station."
As Mr. Collins scurried down the stairs his lordship hurried to send him out the door before he could be stopped by his patroness.
Lady Catherine was so angry that she could not move or speak for several minutes and too late she recovered. Her toady was already gone.
Mr. Collins told the driver to take a route through the town of Meryton.
He wanted to be sure that everyone possible could see him arrive in this fine carriage.
Smiling smugly he waved graciously at all they passed. He was only sorry that none of the Bennets were about to see what an important man her was. Those who had scorned him would now know that he was acquainted with people of rank and wealth.
"Yes he thought as they passed through the town and pulled up at Lucas Lodge, now they would know that he was a man to be respected and adored. How many of them could say they had ridden from London to Herdfordshire in such elegance."
Stepping from the carriage he dismissed the drivers with a wave of his hand.
Charlotte, however, invited them into the kitchen for refreshment before their return journey, which they gratefully accepted with looks of contempt at her bowing smirking husband.
"Why Mr. Collins, What a capital carriage, you must have had the most comfortable ride from town ever in your life," Sir William enthused.
"Yes, indeed," Mr. Collins replied pompously, "I wanted to come by public conveyance but Sir John insisted that only the finest of his carriages and horses were good enough for the clergyman of Lady Catherine Debourg."
Charlotte looked at her husband with raised eyebrows. She knew that there was far more to this than that. She knew that Sir John detested Lady Charlotte. She knew that Lady Margaret and Sir John were invited to the party at Matlock House but Lady Margaret had developed a headache as soon as Lady Catherine insisted that she was going to her brother's house no matter what, even if he was giving a party and she was not invited.
After she forced her husband to give her the details of what had happened after she left Charlotte knew that it was not any feelings of respect for Mr. Collins that made him lend him the barouche box, but a wish to vex Lady Catherine.
Charlotte sighed, again her husband had turned a disaster into advantage to himself in his small mind. She wondered at what had gone on in London as he was riding to Herdfordshire. She knew Lady Catherine would be up in the boughs for several days over this.
Part VII
Mr. Collins was not happy with his wife at the present moment. She had wangled out of him all that had happened that morning at Lady Margaret's breakfast table. As he finished she had laughed and said, "Just as I thought, I knew that his lordship had sent you in his finest carriage to vex Lady Catherine."
"What did she mean by that! Did she not think his lordship would show such generosity to the man who was Lady Debourg's confessor and valued counselor."
His ire was short lived as a message came from Longbourn inviting them to tea with the Bennets the next day and informing them that the engaged couples had returned from town and would be there to greet them.
To his surprise the note also said that Lord and Lady Matlock's son, Colonel Fitzwilliam was there, also. He frowned. Lady Catherine would not be happy with this he thought. She had informed the Earl that if he showed approval of the marriage she would no longer claim him as brother.
As the carriage made it's way to Longbourn Charlotte watched her husband out to the corner of her eye. What was going on in his head. When they first got into the carriage he looked dour and discontented, now suddenly he had a sly smile on his face.
"Mr. Collins, Mr. Collins, what chicanery are you up to," she wondered.
Her husband had been upset indeed by the news of the Fitzwilliam arrival, but upon pondering how he should handle the situation it entered his small mind how he could put his arrogant cousin Elizabeth back in her place and make his points with Lady Catherine.
"William, what a sly fox you can be," he thought. "If only you can convince the Colonel that Miss Elizabeth Bennet is a usurper and unworthy of such a great man as Mr. Darcy. If you can make him see how much more suited Lady Anne is to be the wife of Mr. Darcy, Lady Catherine would be forever in your debt and will be generous indeed to me."
Dreams of her ladyships rewards ran through his head nearly causing him to laugh aloud.
"Careful, Collins," he thought, "Charlotte must have no inkling of his intentions." He knew his wife well enough to know that she would be hard on him indeed if she thought he was planning to sabotage her friends marriage to Mr. Darcy.
At last they were there. It seemed more like a hundred miles rather than just two to Mr. Collins, so anxious was he to set his plan in motion.
Colonel Fitzwilliam however was very angry at his suggestions and informed him that he knew that Miss Bennets refusal of his offer of marriage was behind his words, not any concern for Lady Anne.
Mr. Collins gaped in disbelief when informed in a very angry tone that Lady Anne did not wish to marry Darcy at all but was afraid to tell her mother so. Mr. Collins could not believe that Lady Anne had never wished to marry her cousin.
"This must be a falsehood," he thought. "Why would she not want Darcy for a husband? Did he not have everything a woman could want. Money, looks, position and one of the finest estates in England. She certainly could have no one else in mind to marry. Mr. Collins would have seen that. No, No it could not be. She had to want Darcy, it only made sense."
As he watched the guests wander about chatting a thought occurred to him. "Of course," he smirked.
Sidling up to Mr. Darcy he said, "Since we are to be cousins sir, I would imagine you will wish me to perform the wedding ceremony."
Elizabeth seeing the look of alarm which crossed he beloved Darcy's face as her cousin spoke to him rushed to his side. With a great deal of relief as she touched his arm Darcy turned to her with a look of desperation on his face.
"Your Cousin Mr. Collins has offered to perform the wedding ceremony for us," he croaked.
Lizzy smiled at her husband to be as she said, "But Mr. Darcy we cannot allow Mr. Collins to make such a sacrifice."
Collins looked at her in wonderment, What did she mean, of what was she speaking.
"I thank you for your generous offer, cousin," she smiled, "but we know how vexed her ladyship would be if she were to hear that you married us."
"I fear you would never be allowed to show your face in Kent again if she were to find out. No I believer Mr. Harder will have to suffice for us."
Mr. Collins turned pale at the thought and clutched the back of the chair in front of him. What had he been thinking, in his haste to make the offer to perform the most prestigious wedding ceremony in the land, at least this year, he had not given a thought to her ladyship.
"I thank you cousin, of course you are right, I could not betray Lady Catherine or Lady Anne by presiding at your wedding. I thank you for your generous thought and consideration for the future of my dear Charlotte and myself. I only wished to be of help, but you are quite right in your refusal."
"What did I nearly do," he thought, "I know that Mr. Darcy will be most generous with whomever marries him to my cousin but I could lose much more if I were to do it. You have escaped the wrath of Lady Debourg," he thought, "I know she will be pleased that you refused to take part in the breaking of ties between your between her grace and the Darcy family"
Charlotte had been watching the three of them and could naught but notice the look of panic and then the look of relief that crossed her husbands face.
"Well, Mr. Collins what foolishness have you been up to now," she thought with chagrin, shaking her head.
Part VIII
Charlotte paced back and forth in the garden at Lucas Lodge. Her husband had come back from Longbourn in high dudgeon. he had sent a note to Elizabeth early in the morning informing her that he knew that Mr. Darcy would arrive there after breakfast and that he would be there soon after so that they could further discuss the plans for the wedding. He wanted to assure them that he would discuss the ceremony with the pastor and make sure that he understood the importance of the vows between Miss Elizabeth and the nephew of Lady Catherine Debourg.
In spite of all her protests he would go. He had come storming back within half an hour to tell them that Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth, Jane and Mr. Bingley were not there. In spite of his note: (or rather because of it,) Charlotte thought, they had departed for Meryton and the Simmon's.
Charlotte knew that in the past month all the members of the wedding party had become more than tired of her husbands posturing and his unsolicited and unwelcome advice.
So much so that the servants watched all day to catch of him coming so to run and let all know that he would be there in a few moments. She laughed softly to herself as she pictured the snatching up hats, bonnets and gloves and running away as fast as they could.
Even the staff at Netherfield was on the lookout for the errant parson, though those at Netherfield were inclined to permit him to visit when the two couples were gone. She knew that they enjoyed the discomfort of Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst in welcoming Lady Debourg's clergyman.
Charlotte was trying to decide whey and where she could see Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy alone. She had received a letter from Lady Anne two days ago that had her both excited and upset, but she had to discuss it with Mr. Darcy before she answered.
She sighed with relief when her husband came out to tell her that he was going to go with her father to Bascomb Farm to look at a horse.
"Your father feels the need for my expertise," he said smugly.
"What expertise," she thought, "Your experience consists of telling Dawkins to hitch up the cart when you need it."
This was the chance she needed. She was sure that she could catch Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy on their way home if she sat at the crossroad stile. As she sat there waiting she took out the letter and read it again.
Dear Mrs. Collins,I am still in London at Matlock house. I came here the day after my mother left for Bath. My uncle sent word to his lordship that he had to see me on a matter of great importance so I was taken by him to visit with my favorite aunt and uncle.
My Uncle Edward took me to his study where his attorney was waiting. There they told me that my mother is not the Mistress of Rosings Park, that I am. I received it on my 22nd birthday a year ago.
They showed me my father's will, which clearly stated this and named my Uncle Edward as executor. My uncle had not told me because he knew on sickly I was. After discussing my problems with Dr Greenwell he was convinced that my illnesses are due to the twice monthly bleeding my mother insists on.
I know this to be true because I have not been bled since I have been here and I am feeling better than I can ever remember. Perhaps more than the ceasing of my bloodletting is the fact that I am now engaged to Sir Robert Harwell.
I know on shocked you must be at this, but Robert and I have loved each other since we were infants. As soon as I got the wonderful news that I was liberated I sent him a letter and he rushed to town to be with me.
Our love for each other was the reason behind my mother's quarrel with Lord Harwell and her refusal to attend his funeral or have any touch with the family after his death. I know how close my father and his lordship had always been and until now could not understand how such a breech could happen.
It is six weeks since my last bleeding and I get stronger and stronger every day.
I sent a letter to my mother a sennight ago and she returned to town i a rage insisting that I return at once to Rosings Park with her and start the bleedings again. You can imagine her rage when I refused to break my engagement or to return to Rosings with her to come under the care of Doctor Conners again.
I told her that I had informed Dr Conners that he was no longer welcome at Rosings Park and sent him away for good.
I thought she would have a fit of apoplexy when I told her that Sir Robert and I would be living at Flowing Well Farm next door to Rosings. She of course screamed that I would never be welcome at Rosings Park again if I defied her.
I feared what she would do when I informed her that I knew all about my father's will and if she tried in any way to make this marriage uncomfortable for Robert or if she tried to stop the marriage I would have her sent from Rosings Park forever.
She instead collapsed into a chair and whispered, "You would have me barred from my beloved Rosings over this man. What an ungrateful child, How could I have given birth to such an ungrateful child."
She of course blames all on Miss Elizabeth and refuses to believe that I have wished to marry my cousin. She says that I only want to marry Robert to vex her because she could not stop the engagement between them.
She has returned to Bath, telling me that what I have done has made her so ill she must spend the winter there to recuperate from all the heartbreak I have brought her. She at first said that she would not attend the wedding or ever acknowledges me as her daughter again.
She of course changed her mind when Uncle Edward told her that if that were to be the case he would send word to Rosings immediately that her things were to removed to the Fitzwilliam property on the Isle of Man.
"What a shame, Catherine that you vanity and pride should rob you of the chance to know the grandchildren who will come from this marriage. Perhaps it is for the best though considering how ill you have treated their mother."
Poor Mama she burst into tears and promised not to interfere in our lives. I do hope she means it. I should hate to send her away from Rosings Park. She does love it so.
Please tell my cousin and Miss Elizabeth that Robert would like very much to attend their wedding and would hope that they will see their way to come to ours in Kent in January.
Sincerely yours
Lady Anne Debourg
Soon to be Lady Anne Harwell. countess of Bixby.
Darcy could scarce believe what he was reading. His cousin healthy and independent.
"It is a miracle but then I know what love can do," he said as he took Elizabeth's hand and kissed it.
"What does Mr. Collins say about this," Elizabeth asked as she smiled at her betrothed. "I am sure he is deeply shocked."
"I haven't let him read it yet," Charlotte sighed, "I wanted to discuss it with the two of you first."
"Well, he will have to know soon," Darcy answered, "before he gets a letter from my Aunt Catherine. Please tell my cousin that we will be delighted to have her here for our wedding. I look forward to seeing Robert again and introducing him to my dearest Elizabeth."
Part IX
Mr. Collins paced back and forth back and forth across the parlor where his wife sat sewing.
Lord and Lady Lucas had gone to visit in town; leaving them alone. Lady Lucas was perceptive enough to see that Charlotte needed time alone with her very vexed husband.
Wringing his hands, wiping his brow and smoothing the lock of hair across his bald spot he at last came to a stop in the middle of the room with a great sigh.
"My dear Mrs. Collins how can you sit there so calmly sewing when our life is in such a turmoil. What are we to do? I cannot believe that Lady Anne could treat her mother so shamefully. It cannot be true, it cannot.
"How could she form an attachment without her mothers consent. She has always been so obedient, so willing to defer to her mother's wisdom. There must be some mistake, this cannot be. What of Lady Catherine? To be turned out of her own home. It is an abomination. I am sure there is some sort of misunderstanding here.
"What will she do, Where will she go? Her brother is being most cruel telling here she is mot welcome at Matlock Manor or at their town house. How could they all abandon such a gracious, condescending, Christian lady.
"How could they prefer Mr. Darcy and cousin Elizabeth to her ladyship. Miss Bennet it an intruder while Lady Catherine is family. This must not be. This is the fault of my cousins. Indeed it is. They set out to trap Mr. Darcy into this marriage.
"They have ruined one of the finest families in all of England with their greed and conniving."
"Mr. Collins," Charlotte said sharply, "the fault is not with Elizabeth here. Lady Catherine has made her bed and now she must suffer the consequences."
"CHARLOTTE, how can you say such a thing, after the kindness Lady Catherine has always shown us?"
"Kindness," Charlotte snorted, "she is an arrogant interfering manipulative harridan, who has never thought of anyone but herself in her entire life. She caused a rift between Sir Louis Debourg and his best friend because she knew that he and Lady Anne loved his son."
"She wanted Darcy, or should I say she wanted Pemberley, and she was willing to resort to anything to have her way. She tried to keep Lady Anne from receiving her rightful inheritance by telling her lies about who is mistress of Rosings Park. She even had her bled every fortnight, only to keep her weak and dependant.
"These are not the acts of a Christian, Mr. Collins."
"Charlotte," Mr. Collins whispered, "lower your voice, what if someone should hear you. What if they should tell her ladyship. She would have us thrown out amid the hedgerows in a trice."
Charlotte looked at her sweating husband with a combination of pity and disgust, "She no longer has any say in the matter, Mr. Collins, the decision is Anne's, and her husband."
"But," Mr. Collins cried, "what if Lady Catherine stays at Rosings. My loyalty would have to be with her."
He paced around the room again, "What if Lady Anne becomes Mistress Of Rosings Park. Then my loyalty would have to be to her. Oh, dear, oh dear, I do not know what to do, tell me what to do Mrs. Collins. You are so wise about these things."
"Just wait and see," Mr. Collins, she sighed, "I am sure Lady Anne would not turn us out. She is too kind. I think Lady Catherine would not dismiss you. You are too much what se needs. Someone who agrees with her every word and would never say her nay."
Mr. Collins gave a huge sigh of relief. "Of course, my dear Charlotte, we must bide our time. We must not act in haste or take sides."
"Indeed Mr. Collins," Charlotte said, "with a sigh of frustration, we must only wait quietly. I am sure this will be settled with all haste. If I recall Lady Anne promised that her mother could stay at Rosings if she promised not to interfere in her life any more. I think I can safely assure you that your position is quite safe. If Lady Catherine refuses to acknowledge the marriage the parish will still need a pastor. If, however she agrees to her daughter's terms she will be only to happy to have you there to reassure her."
Mr. Collins smiled at his wife, "Of course, of course, he chortled, either way they cannot do without me."
As Charlotte left the room her husband's brow furrowed. What did she mean He was exactly what Lady Debourg required, someone who agreed with her every word and never said her nay? Did she think him too weak to express an opinion?
Sometimes his wife sounded much like Mr. Bennet, who he always had the feeling was laughing at him behind his soft words of counsel. His mind went to the letter he had received on the engagement of Miss Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy.
If I were you I would stick with the nephew. He has more to offer.
Part X
"Mrs. Collins, Mrs. Collins, where are you Mrs. Collins, Mrs. Collins, Mrs. Collins."
Charlotte sighed and laid down her book. She had come to the garden to read and enjoy a little peace and quiet while her husband went for his daily walk. Instead here he was all too son shouting and gasping for breath. She knew that he must have some great news but wondered what it could be. What could have happened in so short a time.
"I am here Mr. Collins," she said rising so that he could see her. "What is it that has you so excited, sir. Has there been an accident on the road to Meryton? Is someone ill?"
"They are here, they are here, Mrs. Collins, I saw the carriages just now when I walked down the road. They are her, Mrs. Collins."
"Who is here, Mr. Collins, calm yourself and tell me who you saw."
"Lord and Lady Matlock and Lady Anne, he gasped. I saw their carriages on the way to Netherfield Hall. They are here, my dear, they are all here. Lord Harston is with them. Sir Richard Harwell himself.
"We must be off to welcome them my dear Mrs. Collins, we must go to tell them how happy we are that they have arrived in good health and in such good time. Come, come my dear Mrs. Collins you must put on a better frock and comb your hair. Make haste, make haste. I waved to them as they passed so I know they will be expecting us."
"Calm yourself Mr. Collins," Charlotte said quietly. "Do you not think it better if we wait until tomorrow to pay our respects, Mr. Collins. I am sure they will be tired from their journey and will wish to rest and refresh themselves.
"We do not wish to seem to be intruders, Mr. Collins. I am sure they will all want to have some time with the engaged couples before neighbors invade them. I know that Jane and Elizabeth were asked to Netherfield for tea. It must have been in anticipation of the arrivals of these guests. We must wait until tomorrow, Mr. Collins, or even better until we are summoned."
Mr. Collins was in a quandary. He wanted to let Lady Anne know as soon as possible that he would consent to remain as pastor at Rosings. On the other hand he did now want to seem to be too eager or to interfere if she had other guests.
The too he was most anxious to know where Lady Catherine was to be living. Had she accepted Lady Anne's ultimatum or was she going to separate herself from her only child as punishment for her rebellion.
"Oh dear, oh dear, my dear Charlotte," he gasped sitting down on the bench with a plop. "What if Lady Catherine refuses to recognize Lady Anne's marriage to Sir Robert? What if she goes to The Isle Of Mann to Lord Matlocks estate there. What if she is so angry she would prefer isolation to living at Rosings Park if she cannot be Mistress.
"What if she insists that we go with her. She is the one who gave me the position, I am sure she is the one who will decide if I stay at Rosings church or go away with her. You said my dear that I am just what she needs. How could I desert her in her hour of need."
"Oh, my dear Charlotte, what am I to do I do not want to leave Hunsford Parsonage."
"Mr. Collins, what foolishness. Of course you will not be required to leave our home. I am sure that the Isle Of Mann is the last place Lady Debourg will go, so calm yourself and do not look even think such a thing."
"Lady Anne I am sure will insist you stay where you are, so forget such foolishness Mr. Collins."
Mr. Collins sighed and brushed the long hairs he grew to cover his increasing baldness over the top of his head.
"I am sure you know best Mrs. Collins. Do you really thing we should not call today."
"I think it best if we wait for an invitation," Charlotte sighed, "I am sure it will not be long in coming."
She turned and leaving her husband behind went into the house.
Mr. Collins sat for a few minutes not noticing that he was alone.
"Mrs. Collins, what do you mean foolishness," he said sharply, "do you mean that you think me a fool?"
Finding himself alone he looked around furtively to see if anyone saw him talking to himself. It would not do if one of the servants heard him. How that would create gossip below stairs. They showed him a lack of respect as it was.
Hurrying into the house he decided his wife was right, they did not want to seem to eager or at all worried about their position at Rosings Park.