Beginning , Section II
Jump to new as of January 16, 2005
Part the Eighth
Posted on Sunday, 19 September 2004
He only employs his passion who can make no use of his reason.
(Cicero)
The sword the body wounds, sharp words the mind.
(Menander)
At five o'clock Victoria found herself reading the first few chapters of "Reason and Romance" while making mental notes for future storylines and twists as she read about vivacious Elaine whose anger at being first overlooked and then downright insulted by a handsome stranger while attending a ball in town, it brought a meaningful smile to her lips. Following the spread of characters she noticed her drafts of Elaine's parents to be far too cynical, a flaw she immediately corrected by developing a sense for romance and marriage for Elaine's mother and, as if point at these very common characteristics, a tendency to sarcasm and bitterness for Elaine's father whose rather biting sense of humour reminded her of Elizabeth's father in his darkest moments.
Just as she found herself completely caught up in the world she had created, she and Elizabeth were summoned for dinner, yet not without being granted some time refresh themselves, a most unwelcome gift as both had no dresses to wear for dinner, a fact both young women had considered meaningless until they met both the Bingley sisters' contempt so clearly betrayed by their mournful glances as their eyes swept up their figures and soiled wardrobe. Never once had Victoria been ashamed of her favourite riding gown which only steadied her determination not to let her mortification show. While noticing her friend's hurt pride she both admired and copied her defying mask of indifference. Only Mr. Bingley seemed to have anticipated their joining them for dinner, his countenance was all kindness and politeness while his friend merely continued to write his letter after a short nod at Elizabeth and an indifferent gaze at Victoria, he joined them for dinner shortly after having finished his letter.
Dinner was a rather unpleasant affair with but occasional conversation but all the more sneers and the cloaks and daggers Victoria loathed more than any other kind of evil. Seeing her friend restored to all the pleasure of her previous dislike for all but one of the Bingley family tore at Victoria's heart, for Jane's sake she had hoped that the first impression they had had of Mr. Bingley's family would transform itself through their acquaintance being deepened but sadly this was not the case and there was no need for a prophet to predict that theirs would not be a match made in heaven.
Were it not for Mr. Bingley's kind attention towards both Elizabeth and herself she would have felt like an unwelcome intruder as the Bingley sisters made no effort to disguise both their distaste, yet something even more troubling was established at this very dinner, namely the fact that they clearly preferred her over her friend, thus adding to Elizabeth's discomfort and anger. Victoria had never been able to appreciate society's ways of insulting in all politeness and this was no exception. After dinner Elizabeth made her escape to Jane who was by no means better which only worried her even more. As soon as her friend had left the room both Bingley sisters began to abuse her in their very peculiar way. Hearing her friend's way of dressing, her rather untamed hair or her glowing cheeks being mentioned with such insolence was more than an offense, it was an insult as plain as it could possibly be.
"What a pity that your friend seems to follow your most excellent example so rarely, my dear Miss Tennyson," Miss Bingley remarked while drinking her tea.
"Neither does she deserve such censure nor do I deserve such praise, Miss Bingley. My friend Elizabeth's care and fear for her sister's safety and health far outweigh any social customs I can possibly imagine," Victoria cried putting down her book.
"Ah, but you have to agree that the mud on her petticoat was neither necessary nor of any benefit to her poor sister!" Miss Bingley returned rather insolently.
"That may be but it has always been my firm belief that when higher motives inspire an action one might find improper under normal circumstances such a faux pax can easily be forgiven, it's our duty before the Lord to forgive, not to judge," Victoria explained while longing for her book and her friend's soothing company.
"Phrased with nobility and true kindness," Mr. Darcy spoke quietly as he turned in his chair to look at her. "Yet accomplishments are valuable, as important as true kindness and the ability to forgive even the unforgivable in a woman!" As he spoke he noticed the anger in each glance and gesture towards him, her restraint and self-control were admirable indeed. It was clear where her loyalty lied and that she wouldn't tolerate her friend being abused, something he had rarely witnessed in women whom he regarded to be rather unstable when it came to loyalty. Of course neither Mrs. Hurst nor Miss Bingley were above stabbing their new acquaintances in the back socially but Victoria was not so easily to be trifled with, a fact he himself should soon discover.
"I wonder what right do we have to pass judgment all that easily? Isn't vanity a sin in our belief and doesn't pride betray a tendency to haughtiness and arrogance? The borders between real superiority of mind and delectable ignorance are narrow, more so when the judgment is based on an early acquaintance and actions that were committed in worry and pain!" Preserving the neutral We didn't rob this speech of its meaningful implications, nor did it soften either the Bingleys' or Mr. Darcy's attitude. Both parties seemed determined not to give way one inch. As Victoria took no delight in fighting a meaningless war she was about to excuse herself as she heard Mr. Darcy's answer.
"Neither pride nor a clear superiority of mind should be mingled with the words or deeds that were or are inspired by arrogance or insipid haughtiness. Pride will always be under good regulation if a superiority of mind is clearly established," Seeing her raise an eyebrow with a smile he continued and declared,
"If for example a man chose to establish himself in a way so he can be called a great man's equal but chooses to do so by imitation and no ideas of himself he can hardly be called superior or even equal to society's ideal. If he then chooses to parade himself, exposing himself to ridicule through misguided pride one might deign to call this delectable ignorance as you yourself have said. I might add that this is a rule for men and women equally!" His every movement betrayed how content he was with himself, something Victoria couldn't tolerate, not at her friend's expense.
"This hardly provides me with either a motive or a cause that is worthy of my approval when it comes to the case in question. I have suffered from society's way of offending politely more than once, you can hardly blame me for wanting my friend to be spared of this! And," she said decidedly,
"I care not for either imitation or polite ways of offending as they seem to be en vogue in times such as these. This is how the Caesars perished, silent conspiracies under the cloak of society, hideous flattering and backstabbing. The philosophers speak of an ideal world, an ideal society. But how can this be achieved if the people of influence, the people so gifted and talented are wasting themselves on useless slayings of those they deem unworthy of their company?"
"You are well-read, Miss Tennyson, especially when it comes to philosophy. There is no surrender to purity or innocence, there never has been. What philosophers call Utopia, can it be the perfect unison of these virtues as much as it is the combination of maturity, knowledge and wisdom?" He had sensed her compliment between the lines, it had warmed his heart, more so than anything his loyal friend Miss Bingley might have said. Both Bingley sisters had grown silent while Bingley followed their argument glowing with admiration for his beloved's friend.
"Ah, Utopia! The eternal value of this idea is its numerous appearances through the century. There are even more numerous ways to achieve this dream as much as sensibility allows. One would we like breeding horses," she explained, having forgotten her friend's cause for a moment. "When breeding a foal one needs to explore the characters, the abilities, the strength and of course the weaknesses of the horses in question. What needs to be increased, what needs to flourish? What needs to be taught, what needs to be developed? It's like....... Mozart composing a song or an aria. Here knowledge and purity met on equal terms and the result is what we call a genius or what I call artistic Utopia. How can these virtues blend in our world? Can severity and kindness walk side by side? What matters is a sense for where each needs to be established or used to improve the seed so it can grow and ripen. Christian Utopia, can you imagine an example?"
Her challenge was irresistible as much as the lovely lips that had uttered it. Quoting the bible was not easy yet he clearly remembered Christ's words, the words she seemed to consider a Utopia on its own.
"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
"Indeed, what more can we ask for?" Shooting a look at the Bingley sisters she felt her anger leaving her and compassion taking over almost momentarily.
Hers is what wise men call purity of mind, yet her strength and intelligence equal that of any man. To have a friend to defend myself as capably as Miss Elizabeth had been at this very moment would be a blessing indeed. Yet what she doesn't know is that a pedestal is a lonely place, something I myself have experienced more than I could ever have dared to imagine. Her flaws lie elsewhere, she conceals them all too well... Darcy mused as he watched her become the poised and elegant Victoria he had met at the ball. To awaken such a need to defend him as ardently as Miss Bennet had been, only the thought of such a possibility filled his heart with yet unknown tranquility and peace.
Fitzwilliam Darcy had always thought himself incapable of envy, yet at this moment he was burning with envy for a person whom, but a few hours ago, he wouldn't have dreamed to envy anything in her life. But this was before knowing Victoria better and she stood for surprising turns and new paths in his life. He envied Miss Bennet who seemed to have inspired such unwavering loyalty within Victoria which improved not only herself as a lady in his eyes but also added to his ever growing desire to win this fascinating woman's friendship and, if possible, her heart.
Part the ninth
Posted on Monday, 10 January 2005
The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.
(William Hazlitt)
Everything that deceives may be said to enchant.
(Plato)
Both Elizabeth and Victoria spent the night by in Jane's room whose health was improving with every hour she found herself undisturbed to rest. Neither of them had slept much during the night as Jane was battling a fever but in the early morning they were able to answer the Bingley family's inquiries calming even the most severe alarm they could have possibly felt. As for themselves they felt the night's ordeal and Elizabeth, longing for the familiarity Longbourn had to offer, sent a short note to her mother, asking her to pay a call as to take a look at her eldest daughter's condition. The note was brief, yet affectionate, it's message being a plea for reason, asking her to allow them to come home as not to trouble Mr. Bingley and his sisters any further whose civility was a cold act of custom except for Mr. Bingley's honest care for Jane's recovery. Mrs. Bennet's response was equally brief yet lacking Elizabeth's gentleness and affection. She did not deny her the request to come and see Jane herself, yet anything else Elizabeth had asked for, both for Jane's as well as her family's sake was rebuked with no pretense of candid discretion.
"It's insufferable!" Elizabeth cried, every bit as displeased as her mother must have been upon receiving her daughter's note. Dropping the note on a table Elizabeth felt her stomach revolting against the idea of her mother coming to Netherfield, she dreaded the scene that was bound to follow just as much as it embarrassed her to have her plea refused with such hostility. Victoria pondered whether or not she should agree with her friend or merely play her part in the upcoming farce, concluding that it would not be wise to infuriate her friend any further by resisting whatever she had in mind.
"Lets handle it as well as we can, Lizzy. As long as the doctor sees no cause for worry, all will be well..." Or so she had hoped. The result led to both embarrassment and mortification, just as Elizabeth had predicted it would. Both the Bingley sisters' venom as well as Mr. Bingley's well meant kindness had only put grist on the mill of Elizabeth's first impressions of Mr. Bingley's sisters and, of course, Mr. Darcy. She had watched his struggle with honesty and frankness as Mrs. Bennet did her best to corner him and, as she saw Mrs. Bennet basking in the glory of her triumph her heart went out to him just as much as to her friend who was clearly the victim of her mother's folly. I have been used to consider poetry as the food of love he had said and though his air of stoic calm remained unchanged, Victoria knew that he had meant it.
Back in Jane's room Elizabeth immediately rushed to her sister's side while Victoria changed into her black riding gown, she didn't even notice that it was dusty and clearly worn. Her family had sent her some clothes but her preference clearly belonged to the black gown she was wearing at present despite its being worn out and clearly out of fashion. Hugging her friend gently she left them some privacy and went downstairs to catch some fresh air. Passing the salon the Bingleys used to play cards, read books or listen to Miss Bingley's beautiful singing she heard voices in a heated discussion. All colour drained from her face as the meaning of what was said hit her hard. If social backstabbing had earned her revulsion before this raised the art of vicious cruelty to new heights, causing her to force down a strangled sob in her throat as she fled from the voices which, as if to mock her, were still ringing in her head in all their ugliness.
Victoria's absence caused much distress among her sisters despite their happiness at being free of her strict eye. Adrienne and Laura took so much pleasure in spending time with Kitty and Lydia so that even Nicolette found the courage to join them as they strolled through Meryton in the company of the officers. Whenever their company included a young officer named George Wickham her pleasure seemed to increase so obviously that it served for many giggles among Adrienne and Laura. Their youngest sister's infatuation was too easy a target to pass by and even though Mr. Wickham seemed to care for their sister as his actions towards her were all kindness and affection both felt that it was only fair to tease her a little. Nicolette's quiet and shy ways of accepting his attention only fuelled their jealousy and though their intention was neither cruel nor motivated by anything truly damnable the effect it had on Nicolette was visible.
"Nicolette, dear damsel in distress, let me save you from your solitude!" Adrienne cooed as they were watching their sister's obvious interest in the latest Victor Kailey novel. Nicolette barely moved her head but it was clear that she had heard her sister's mockery and only Mrs. Tennyson's gentle interference ended the endeavour smoothly. She herself saw no harm in the young officer her daughter seemed to care for with all the vigour of an innocent, inexperienced heart, yet the notion that this should end in anything more than some bashful glances and smiles was simply inconceivable.
Mr. Wickham's visit this afternoon was particularly enjoyable as he was accompanied by several friends who took as much delight in the company of the Tennyson sisters as he did himself. Particularly one of the sisters had caught his eye with her sweet and calming presence. Little Nicolette Tennyson fulfilled his every vision of a young woman he wanted to get to know better. On the verge of womanhood she moved with the innocence of a child while having the countenance of a woman. Every inch a woman, he observed as he watched her close to him. Her fair curls coupled with the most beautiful pair of blue eyes he had ever seen were enough to make any man desire her in one way or another, the fact that she was completely ignorant of her appeal only added to her charm. Nicolette was sitting by his side, reading to him and their company with a voice as musical and pure as he had ever heard. At first she had resisted to be on display like this and it had taken a fair amount of tender persuasion on his part until she agreed to read aloud. After two or three failed attempts her voice grew steady and rich, almost as if she was singing the words instead of reading them.
As she read "Devotion and Desire" Nicolette caught herself at looking at Mr. Wickham more than she should causing her to fail several times until she fixed her eyes on a less distracting spot and from then on there was no more obstacle to read her favourite novel so that everyone may enjoy it with her. Nicolette took much delight in sharing whatever pleasure she felt with anyone who cared as much as to participate and the greatest gift in return was to see another person enjoying an amusement or book as much as she did herself. In her innocence she could not know what passion and desire she had caused, merely by reading a book with her melodic, smooth voice while giving everyone a smile and a friendly nod as they lauded her for her ability as a reader and storyteller.
Victoria's hands were trembling as she got ready for a ride and Aurora, ever caring for her mistress with the affection of a dear friend, kept stroking her shoulder with her velvety nose. A shudder went through Victoria as her mind was reeling with what she had just heard and seen. If ever she had felt like a fool for not adopting a more cynical view of the world and its society it was now. There was no surprise in hearing the Bingley sisters sneer and take delight in vicious gossip but that Mr. Darcy had done as much as agreeing with them and offering some very revealing comments of his own hurt her bitterly for she had hoped that he would stick up for what was right and good despite their arguments and different views of the world.
"Dining with four and twenty families indeed! I hardly kept my countenance! Louisa, think of it! But what can you expect of a family whose sole contact with London is an occasional call on their relatives in Cheapside!" Miss Bingley cried, while sipping her tea. Mrs. Hurst, quite undisturbed by her sleeping husband, responded with an eager nod and a comment of similar venom and disdain. Their regard for a sister's pain and worry was reduced to a minimum, their cruelty being fuelled by Mr. Darcy's silence and their brother's embarrassment. "Mr. Darcy, I dare say that there is no reason present for you to withhold your censures from us now!"
Mr. Darcy's gave no answer to that but remained close to the window admiring nature's beauty with obvious interest. When he finally turned towards them as if to follow Miss Bingley's request boredom was written on his face quite plainly and he made no secret of it. "Upon my word, Miss Bingley, I must admit that neither the Bennet family nor their friends the Tennysons occupy my thoughts as much as to make censures necessary or even acceptable. Neither of them can claim the breeding or beauty Bingley seems to see in every face here. The truth of the matter is that I can think of many subjects of more interest than our guests with their shortcomings!"
"I'm sure you're right. As for the appreciation of her fine eyes, I noticed that her mother has fine eyes as well!" Miss Bingley said, her voice smooth as silk. Yet Victoria had heard enough....
"Miss Tennyson?" a familiar voice called, causing her head to jerk up fiercely. Mr. Darcy was standing before Aurora's stable, fondly patting the mane of the beautiful mare. Swallowing hard she held her chin high and returned his call politely. "I see you are getting ready for a ride! And since you still owe me my revanche for our last race I wonder if I may join you now!" Though gently spoken his question irked her, set her mind ablaze. After all she had heard she was in no mood for company and least of all his company. Straightening her back she gripped Aurora's reins and got ready to leave.
"I'm most grateful for your offer, Mr. Darcy, but I'm sure that my shortcomings as a rider would bore you in no time. I cherish my luck and good fortune and wouldn't want to tempt fate once more. But I'm sure that you have more important things to do. Now if you'll excuse me, please?"
His reaction was as subtle as it was puzzled. Bowing shortly he turned away, yet not all capable of concealing his disappointment. His jaw was tense, his eyes mirrored his surprise at her refusal. Fitzwilliam Darcy was not used to being refused after asking for something and it took a lot of strength to accept this snub with dignity. As she passed him she gave him a smile that chilled him to the bone as she herself was now using the cloaks and daggers she despised so much. Comparing her to her friend Elizabeth now was like comparing a sunlit meadow to raging sea filled with rocks and cliffs. And as a sharp cliff may have ripped open a careless captain's ship he felt his pride being wounded by both Miss Bennet's witty arguments and Miss Tennyson's icy indifference. The feeling of having lost something very special burdened his conscience for a mere instant until he brushed it aside with the confidence of a man who was not used to be denied anything that he wanted.