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Chapter 20

William didn't think to worry about not hearing from Lizzy over the rest of the day, since knew he'd see her later that evening. However, when he arrived at the movie theatre where he was to meet her, along with Richard and Marina, he was slightly surprised to find that he was the first one to appear. Lizzy was notorious for arriving early, and William had arrived a few minutes late. He looked up the street and saw Richard and Marina approaching. They were walking hand in hand and for a moment William became absorbed in watching them. But then Marina noticed William and she accelerated her pace.

"Hi, William," she said with a smile. "I didn't think you were going to come tonight."

"Why shouldn't I have come?" he replied, brows furrowed in confusion.

"Because of Lizzy," Marina said. "She insisted that we go ahead and see the movie, but I assumed that you wouldn't be coming without her."

"What do mean--without Lizzy? What's happened?"

"Didn't she speak to you this afternoon?" Marina asked in surprise. Richard quickly stepped in, well aware of his cousin's impatience.

"Lizzy got a call from her father at work this afternoon. One of her sisters was in some sort of accident," Richard revealed.

"Lizzy said that her sister's injuries were serious, but not life-threatening. She decided to go up to New Hampshire to be with her and tried to call you before she left the office but you were in a meeting," Marina explained. "She said she'd keep trying to reach you on her way home and to the airport. I take it you haven't heard from her?" William shook his head. "Well, I'm sure it's because she's busy with her family," Marina said reassuringly. William pulled out his phone and checked it for messages. "I'm pretty sure she called your office. It was a little after two o'clock." William frowned as he recalled checking his messages.

"Marina? How did she know I was in a meeting?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe you mentioned having a meeting; she said something about your phone mailbox being full." William rolled his eyes.

"Then she'd probably call me at home, assuming I went there after work," he said. "Maybe I should go home. I don't think I could sit through a movie knowing she's probably trying to reach me."

"Sure, Will. We understand," Richard said as he patted his cousin on the shoulder. "Look, if you want, we can all go back to your place and order in some takeout or something," he said, but William shook his head.

"You two go ahead and enjoy the movie. There's no point in all of us missing it."

"Are you sure?" Marina asked. William nodded and said goodbye. He hailed a cab and rode back to his apartment, resisting every temptation to call her on the way. When he reached his place he checked his messages.

"Hello, William. Sorry about the dramatic exit, but it couldn't be helped. Mary was in an auto accident this afternoon and I hopped on the first plane to New Hampshire. She's going to be fine. She's out of surgery and already giving her doctors grief. I don't know how long I'll be up here, but I miss you already! I'll call you again, later. Love you. Bye!

William sat back on the sofa and sighed in relief. He replayed the message twice simply for the pleasure of hearing Lizzy's voice. When it ended for the second time, he rose and went into the kitchen for a drink. The phone rang and he ran back out to the living room to grab it.

"Hello my darling," Lizzy said cheerfully in response to his breathless greeting. "It's so good to finally hear your voice."

"It's good to hear you, too," William smiled as he sat down. "How is your sister?"

"She's going to be fine, thank goodness! It was a nasty accident, but she'll be fine. She was hit by a car while walking across a parking lot, if you can imagine that. Thank goodness the car wasn't moving too fast or it might have been much worse for Mary. As it is, she suffered a fractured hip and had to have surgery to repair the damage." Lizzy paused for breath. "How are you?" William smiled.

"I'm fine, now that I know you and your sister are all right. I'm sorry I wasn't available this afternoon when you called. Had I known, I would have found a moment to speak with you."

"I was actually hoping you might find a moment, even though I told the woman I spoke to that I'd call you back."

"You left a message for me?" William asked suspiciously.

"No, not really; but I hoped you'd call me back all the same." William was silent for a moment, as he calculated a scenario in his head. "I miss you terribly," Lizzy pouted. All thoughts of Jessica and her machinations fled William's mind.

"Say the word and I'm on a plane," he replied, "any time after my meeting the day after tomorrow."

"Do you really mean that?"

"Of course I do."

"Well, I had been thinking that I'd stay up here until the end of the week, but I didn't dare hope--. I did warn you about my family," she said teasingly. As if to reinforce Lizzy's point, a shrill voice bellowed Lizzy's name in the background. William smiled.

"I'd slay dragons to be with you."

"Dragons have got nothing on Lydia," Lizzy warned.

"She doesn't scare me."

"You must be a man in love. A man more in control of his faculties would think twice before making such as silly remark," Lizzy laughed.

"Whatever the challenge, I'll not be denied the pleasure of your company," William assured her.

"I hope you still feel that way once you get here," Lizzy smiled. William reached for a pad and pen.

"Tell me where I'm going and how I get there."

"All right, but realize this; once my mother lays eyes on you there'll be no chance of escape."

Richard and Marina left the theatre and walked home arm in arm. They'd both enjoyed the movie, a lighthearted comedy that Lizzy had chosen, and they were both in a very good mood. They stopped for takeout on the way and when they reached their building they rode up in the elevator with Olivia, who'd just come in from an evening with friends.

"May I ask why you did that?" Richard asked as they entered the apartment.

"Did what?" Marina asked as she fetched plates and glasses from the kitchen.

"The minute I began to speak to Olivia you let go of my hand."

"I did not."

"Yes, you did. What was that supposed to mean?"

"It didn't mean anything, Richard! If I did let go of your hand--and I am not admitting to that--it had nothing to do with Olivia."

"So you're not jealous?"

Marina refused to meet Richard's eyes as she sat down at the table. Richard promptly pulled her to her feet again.

"Do I have any reason to be?" she said with a hint of defiance.

"Heck no! I'm in love with you, remember?" Marina turned and opened a carton of rice. "Emmy?"

"I know."

Richard reached out and lifted her chin.

"Are you sure? I'm not averse to reminding you, you know," he said with a disarming smile. Marina looked up and Richard kissed her before she could respond. She was momentarily stunned but she quickly warmed to Richard's kiss. He pulled her into his arms and deepened the kiss, causing Marina to feel rather lightheaded. She panicked momentarily, as she felt herself swoon, but that was enough to alert Richard. As soon as he felt her stiffen he released her with a slightly apologetic look in his eye. He held out Marina's seat. "Maybe we'd better eat before this gets cold." Marina sighed and sat down dully. They began to eat in silence.

"I was just surprised," she said a few minutes later.

"Hmm?"

"When you kissed me just now; I was surprised."

"Oh."

"Not that it matters anyway," Marina said as she rose and went into the kitchen with her plate. She'd barely eaten anything and Richard immediately rose to follow her.

"Emmy," he said softly as he watched her scrape the contents of her plate into a container. "Talk to me."

"No." Richard barred Marina's access to the refrigerator. He attempted to lift her face again but she eluded him. "Ricky!" He backed off and she placed the container into the refrigerator. She went to the sink and began to wash her plate and fork. "I'm not afraid to be kissed."

"I never said you were," Richard countered.

"But you think I am."

"I--you flinched just now," Richard explained lamely. "I'm not going to rush you--."

"Richard, I flinch before I jump into the pool. Every time--the instructor at the Y thinks it's the funniest thing he's ever seen. But you know what? I always get wet."

Richard smiled at Marina as she threw the kitchen towel at him and strode from the room.

"Maybe we should try again," Richard said as he followed Marina into the living room. He wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled her neck as she closed containers and attempted to clear the table. "Hey, I'm not finished!" Richard cried as she picked up his plate.

"Well, then why don't you sit down and eat?" Marina scolded. She took the rest of the dinner things into the kitchen and put the leftovers away. Richard joined her a few minutes later with his empty plate.

"Now, as I was saying..."

Marina shook her head.

"Maybe I should move out."

"What?" Richard gasped.

"You have no problems kissing me when we're on the street or at the movies or anywhere else. Whenever we come back here, though, you act as though I'm made of eggshells or something."

"Well--."

"Why don't you admit it? You're the one who's really afraid!"

"I am not? What have I got to be afraid of?"

"I don't know, Ricky. I honestly don't." Marina sighed heavily. "I think I'm going to go to bed early."

"We should talk about this, Emmy."

"Why? It always ends up the same way, doesn't it?" Marina went into the bathroom and shut the door. "...With us in separate rooms."

Richard watched her go, running his hands through his hair in frustration. The phone rang and he went into the bedroom to answer it. He threw himself on the bed, awakening his cat and clumsily bumping his head on the headboard as he went.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Richard, this is Lizzy. May I speak to Marina?"

"Sure, hold on a moment." He scrambled off the bed and headed for the bathroom. "How is your sister?"

"She's doing well, thanks."

"That's great to hear. Hold on a moment." Richard lightly knocked on the door. "Emmy? Lizzy's on the phone."

"I'll be out in a sec," Marina said as she dried her face with a towel. She opened the door and emerged from the bathroom in one of Richard's old football jerseys. Richard could see that her eyes were slightly swollen but he said nothing as he handed her the phone. She took it and walked into the living room.

"How's your sister?" she asked, aware that Richard was watching her.

"She's going to be fine," Lizzy said before giving Marina a quick synopsis of the day's events. Marina listened with half an ear, aware that Richard was still somewhere behind her. When she finally got up her courage to turn around, however, she found that she was alone. Disappointment mingled with relief as she began to open the sofa bed. "So did you enjoy the movies?"

"Oh, yes, it was great," Marina said as she tossed the cushions onto a chair and began to pull the bed out.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm getting ready for bed."

"Oh! I didn't realize I was interrupting something. Richard didn't say anything."

Marina made a face and was suddenly struggling to fight back tears.

"He hasn't got anything to do with it," she managed. "Look, Lizzy, I have to go."

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah. I'll talk to you later, okay?" She hung up before Lizzy could answer. Richard came out of the bedroom and Marina quickly turned to hide her tears. She quickly scrambled into bed and turned out the light. Richard walked over and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Emmy," he said as he reached out to stroke her hair. She froze in place, scarcely breathing. "I don't want you to leave, all right? We can work through this...whatever it is. I know I'm too tentative sometimes, but--."

"It's all right," Marina managed in a muffled voice. "I won't go."

"Good." Richard leaned over and kissed her hair. He whispered goodnight and left her to her silent tears.

"Why don't you talk to him about it?" Lizzy asked the next day. She had called Marina at the office to pursue the discussion Marina had avoided the previous night.

"There's really nothing to talk about. Ricky feels so guilty for the pain he's caused me in the past that he completely freaks out whenever I show the slightest hint of vulnerability. As inexperienced as I am, I know that being in love means making oneself vulnerable to another. I've been vulnerable to him all my life. And now that he can see that it frightens him to death." Marina sighed heavily, as did Lizzy. She knew that Marina was right, but for the life of her she didn't know what she could do about it. "Maybe it would be better if I dated other people for a while."

"You want him to go from being obsessed with guilt to being obsessed with jealous rage? I don't think that's an improvement," Lizzy snorted, recalling Richard's discomfort with the attention Marina had received at the Labor Day party.

"Well what else can I do? Either I have to become less vulnerable or he has to become less guilty and I don't see either one happening anytime soon."

"Well, you seeing other men won't make you less vulnerable to Richard and it certainly won't ease his guilt. It would just make him feel worse."

"I don't think he could feel any worse," Marina pouted. "I know I can't. I'm almost sorry I ever told him how I felt."

"So you're flying up there when?" Richard asked.

"Tomorrow morning; I have a few things I need to clear up," William said quietly. He had grown a bit wary of Jessica and decided that she shouldn't know about his plans until he was out the door.

"Well, at least you'll be able to go up there and not have to feel as though you're intruding on a real crisis. From what Lizzy said her sister's doing well."

"You've spoken to her?"

"She called the apartment last night to talk to Emmy. Look, if there's anything I can do, let me know," Richard said sincerely.

"Thanks. I'll speak to you again before I leave," William said. He hung up the phone and absently skimmed the papers in front of him as he brooded over whether or not to inform his parents of his trip. He heard a light knock on the door and Jessica poked her head in.

"That eleven o'clock meeting's been canceled," she announced.

"Thank you," William said as she sauntered into the room.

"So Lizzy's out of town, eh?" Jessica said. William looked up and frowned.

"How did you know that?" he demanded suspiciously. Jessica shrugged insouciantly, but she quickly turned toward the door. "I asked you a question, Jessica," William said in a tone that stopped her in her tracks.

"I overheard you mention it to Fred in the cafeteria," she said bluntly before storming out. William was momentarily contrite, but a moment later he decided that he didn't believe her. She'd obviously answered his call the previous day. However, Jessica was the least of his worries this morning. He diligently applied himself to his work, determined to make sure no obstacle prevented him from being reunited with Lizzy on the morrow.

"So how's your love life these days?"

Richard looked up at Tineke, who was standing at the side of his desk dangling a chocolate bar from her fingers.

"Is that supposed to be a bribe?" he asked dryly.

"Oh, no! This is all for me. I just stopped here on my way back from the vending machine to make polite conversation."

Richard was far from convinced.

"Since when do you frequent vending machines? We have half the Belgian import limit on chocolate in my desk. And since when do you eat Snickers?"

Tineke smiled and slowly peeled the wrapper back on the chocolate confection.

"Since you introduced me to the joys of chocolate covered caramel and salted peanuts."

"As I recall," Richard said wryly, "you declared that combination a vile abomination."

Tineke shrugged and bit into the candy bar. Richard smiled as he watched her try not to make a face. She finally gave up and dropped the bar into his waiting hand.

"I don't know how you eat this stuff," Tineke said as she reached across her desk for a bottle of water.

"Oh, it's not that bad, Tineke. Sven loves them," Richard teased as he helped himself to the Snickers.

"Hey! You haven't answered my question," Tineke said as she lightly struck his head and then reached over him for something from the snack drawer.

"Tineke, you make a lousy inquisitor," Richard chuckled around a full mouth.

"Just spill, Richard!" Tineke said as she sat on the edge of his desk. Richard shook his head.

"There really isn't anything to talk about."

Within an hour of setting foot in the Bennet homestead, William knew that Lizzy's depiction of her mother was dead-on accurate. Mrs. Bennet took one look at him and declared him a keeper.

"Call me Edith; we're all one big happy family here!" she'd cried with the subtlety of a bull in heat.

"Very happy," her youngest daughter Lydia echoed in a tone that was decidedly not familial. Lizzy rolled her eyes and steered William away from potential harm. After a cool drink to revive him after his long trip, William was ready to relax and spend a little quality time with Lizzy. She sensed his fatigue and, rising to her feet, declared her intent to take William upstairs to rest before dinner. Glad to be spared the oppressive attentions of both Edith and Lydia, William followed Lizzy to her room.

"Well, that was certainly interesting," William said with a benign smile." Lizzy wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled.

"You are too modest; that was a nightmare!" Lizzy laughed before kissing William, who was too polite and too absorbed in kissing her back to argue. But as he broke away from Lizzy to take a breath, his eyes caught a glimpse of the view from her bedroom window. He went to the window and gazed out at the lush green acreage that seemed to go on forever.

"Lizzy, how big is your parents' property?" he asked curiously.

"Oh, it's about 300 acres," Lizzy said easily as she hefted William's bag onto the bench at the end of the bed.

"There are two barns," he said suspiciously.

"Yes," Lizzy said as she joined him at the window. "That is the horse barn and the larger, modern one over there is for the goats and the cheese-making." William opened and closed his mouth again.

"How many goats do your parents have?" he asked finally. Lizzy shrugged.

"I do know that dad has to buy goat milk from neighboring farms to meet production demands, so it can't be that many. Why do you ask?" She looked at William quizzically and he shook his head.

"I guess I had this vision of a big old farmhouse on a few acres with a dozen or so goats running around," he said sheepishly.

"Well, it is a big old farmhouse," Lizzy said. "Dad bought this place when we were kids so we could spend our summers in the country. I was so glad he decided to retire early and come up here full time. Maybe tomorrow I can take you into Concord and show you the house where I grew up." With that, Lizzy pulled William away from the window. He allowed her to distract him, but in the back of his mind he couldn't help thinking that there was more to Lizzy's background than he'd imagined.

"Honey, it sounds to me as though the two of you are equally at fault," Kathleen said gently. "From what you just told me, when either of you makes a move the other retreats." Marina sighed miserably. "And I think Lizzy's right; nothing will be solved until the two of you clear the air."

"I know, but--."

"No 'buts,' Marina. You and Richard need to sit down and have some honest communication." Kathleen hesitated and chose her next words carefully. "Have you considered speaking to someone about this? Other than myself, I mean; you and Richard might benefit from seeing a therapist."

"A therapist? Ricky would never agree to that!" Marina blurted out.

"Don't be so sure of that," Kathleen warned, "and I'm far more interested in your opinion of the idea." Marina bit her lip.

"I don't know," she muttered.

"Well, why don't you give the matter some thought? If you decide you want to go ahead and see someone, I have a friend in the city who would be able to provide some recommendations."

"Ricky won't go for it," Marina repeated.

"You may not know him as well as you think, then," Kathleen smiled knowingly. "Not only does he have a very open attitude toward therapy, I think that even if he didn't he might be wiling to try it for the sake of your relationship."

"I think that what we need is some space," Marina replied. "I think I am going to start looking for another place to live."

"Saved by the bell," Richard said as he grabbed the phone. Tineke shook her head and retreated to her desk. "Hello?"

"Hello, Richard, this is Glen. My secretary told me that you called to make an appointment?"

"Uh, yeah, Glen," Richard replied somewhat awkwardly. "Hi. Look, I was wondering if I could see you sometime this week."

"Why don't you just come around to the house? You don't have to make--."

"It would be a professional visit. I need a consultation," Richard interjected.

"Richard, I've known you since you were an infant. I cannot in good conscience counsel you."

"I wouldn't ask you to. But you can listen to my problem and make a referral, can't you--even if I am your godchild?" Richard glanced over the partition and saw that Tineke was also on the phone. He inwardly sighed in relief.

"I suppose I can do that much. Why don't you come by this evening?"

"Thanks, Glen."

"Have some more pie, William."

"Edith, if the poor boy has more pie he'll explode," Thomas Bennet said dryly. "You've already force fed him more than he is probably used to consuming in a week."

"I am rather full," William said apprehensively. He glanced at Lizzy, whose expression told him that he was doomed to eat a second piece of pie. She refused to make eye contact, although her eyes brimmed with amusement.

"Here, William," Lydia said as she rose from her seat slightly and slid the last slice of pie onto his plate. She took her time about so that William undoubtedly got an eyeful of her cleavage. Lizzy glared at her and lifted the coffee carafe.

"I know you want some of this, Lydia," Lizzy said to her younger sibling as she held up the carafe in a threatening matter. Her intent was transparent and Lydia sat down.

"So tell us more about what you do for a living, William," Edith prompted, oblivious to the tension between her daughters.

"Yes, we haven't heard anything about it at all since the salad course," Thomas sighed.

"I can barely remember the salad course," Lizzy muttered. William glanced at her as she checked her watch.

"It must be very interesting being an investment banker," Lydia said as she cupped her chin and smiled at William.

"No more than it was forty-six and a half minutes ago," Lizzy said. William suppressed a smile and pretended that he hadn't heard either observation.

"Thank you," Richard said as he accepted a glass of wine from his long time mentor.

"Sit down, take a load off," Glen Patterson said as he claimed his favorite leather chair. Richard opted for the sofa and suppressed an urge to lie down. Glen allowed Richard to make a little small talk before gently steering the conversation to the matter that brought him to his godfather's spacious apartment on the Upper East Side.

"I'm having a problem--with a woman. I mean, well--."

"Are we talking about--?"

"No!" Richard said a bit too quickly, coloring and agitating his untouched wine. "I mean, it's not sexual. At least not yet," he amended before taking a gulp from the glass.

Glen shifted in his seat and waited patiently.

"You know the woman in question. It's Emmy--well, you are probably more familiar with her as Marina."

"Yes, of course. What's going on with Marina?"

"Well, I've fallen in love with her."

"I see. When did this happen? I thought you were pretty seriously involved with someone else."

"I was. It ended badly when I found out she decided to become engaged to another man."

"Ouch! I'm sorry, Richard."

"It's all right. I'm well past that."

"And in love with Marina?"

"Yes," Richard said with a slightly crooked smile.

"Tell me about it."

"Well, I found out recently that she's always been in love with me, since forever. I had always thought of her as the sister I never had."

"And what changed that?"

Richard shrugged, knowing that Glen was going to wait for an answer. He was a board-certified psychologist, after all, and was quite adept at drawing answers out of his patients.

"Emmy recently returned from Paris, where she'd been living the last two and a half years, and started seeing my cousin William. It was a brief fling; while he was out with her one day he met the love of his life. Emmy graciously stepped aside, but as you can well imagine she was hurt. When I found out about what had happened I was furious with Will. When I called him to account for himself he challenged me to examine my feelings for Emmy. I did and I came to realize that I was in love with her. When I told her how I felt we had a rather ugly confrontation. You see, I learned that Emmy was in love with me too and she was fed up with trying to hide her feelings. She'd apparently been doing it for years. It was quite a revelation, I'll tell you," Richard said as he stared into his glass.

"Are you sure?"

"What?" Richard looked up sharply and set the glass down on a side table.

"Are you certain that what you're feeling for Marina is real and not merely a reaction to what she told you?" Richard opened his mouth to protest, but Glen stopped him with a hand. "I'm just playing devil's advocate. Hear me out and think about what I say before you respond." Richard sat back and nodded. Glen took a sip from his glass before he continued.

"Richard, sometimes circumstances can shape our reactions. What you feel under one set of circumstances may not apply in another. When Marina told you that she was in love with you it's very likely that you were overwhelmed by feelings of remorse, anger, love and a dozen other emotions. Isn't it possible that you were swept away by what Marina felt and responded in kind?"

"Out of guilt, you mean?"

"Well, that might account for your 'problem.' Why don't you tell me about that?"

"So, William, you've met the family. What do you think?"

William leaned on the doorframe between the bathroom and bedroom and looked at Lizzy doubtfully. He was clad only in a bath sheet, wrapped low on his hips. Water still dripped from his hair onto his chest. Lizzy sat in the middle of her bed enjoying the view.

"The last time I told a girl what I thought of her family I was still in prep school. I ended up with a vanilla shake in my lap."

"William," Lizzy replied with a reproachful look. "If there's anything you've learned tonight it's that a Bennet never wastes food. And why are you shaving now, anyway?"

William laughed and started to return to the sink to rinse his face.

"I don't want to risk damaging your perfect skin."

"Aw, you're such a--."

Before Lizzy could finish her sentence the door to the room was swung open and Edith Bennet entered the room with an armload of towels. Lizzy's mouth fell open.

"I thought you and William might need--."

It was Edith's turn to gape as she caught sight of William.

"Mother! Don't you know how to knock?" Lizzy cried. To her amazement, William didn't flinch. He merely put his hands on his hips and stared back at Edith, till the tiny woman was forced to retreat in embarrassment. William waited till she closed the door behind her before he went back into the bathroom.

"Wow! Where did you pick up that handy little skill?" Lizzy asked as she scrambled off the bed to go stand at the door to the bathroom.

"I'm a New Yorker, Lizzy," William said, as if that was sufficient explanation. "Well, that and a lifetime of bullying Gee and Richard."

"Richard doesn't strike me as the sort of man who's easily intimidated."

"Until he hit a growth spurt at fifteen I was a lot bigger than him. By the time he became Mr. All-American, I'd already established dominance," William said with a slightly smug grin. He patted his face dry before pulling Lizzy into his arms.

"Why don't you come to bed and play the Alpha male," she suggested. "And tomorrow morning you have got to teach me how to do that. Lydia needs to be taught her place."

"Will I get to meet Mary and the others tomorrow?"

"You masochist, you," Lizzy giggled as she tugged William toward the bed.

Richard was momentarily put out when he arrived home and found a phone message from Marina telling that she'd be staying the night with a friend. But he quickly decided that it was for the best. Glen had left him with a lot of questions to ponder and he would be able to think more clearly alone.

He changed into a pair of shorts and a tee and stretched out on his bed with a mug of hot herbal tea. Richard stared into the scented mist, smiling when he realized that until Marina came to live with him he never touched the stuff. He allowed that thought to guide him to other thoughts about Marina's influence on his life. Glen had suggested that he write them down, so he set aside the mug and reached for the notepad he kept on the nightstand. Not surprisingly, the top sheet was covered in sketches of various items in the bedroom. Marina sketched incessantly and she had recently watched television in his room.

Richard got lost in examining the sketches for a few minutes. Finally, he carefully tore the page off, set it aside and began to write. After a few minutes he paused and got up. Pulling out his laptop, he switched to the more accustomed medium and transcribed his notes before continuing. By the time he fell asleep he had answered every one of Glen's questions. And although he remained confident that he was in love with Marina, he was still afraid. What if Glen could not be convinced? What if he concluded that Richard was deluding himself? And worse, what if Glen was right?

Chapter 21

"Hey, Marina, there was a cute guy downstairs looking for you a minute ago."

Marina looked up at her coworker with the classic "deer in the headlamps" expression of horror.

"Here?"

"Yeah; what's wrong?"

"Nothing--uh, nothing," Marina said as she rose to her feet, trying to decide whether to go find the man in question or wait for him to find her. The phone rang, distracting her from her dilemma and she answered it absently. "Hello?"

"Hi, Emmy," Richard said pleasantly.

"Where are you?"

"I'm at my office. Why?"

"I just thought--. Well, someone just told me there was a cute guy looking for me and I was--I thought it might be you."

"Must be some other cute guy," Richard chuckled. "I'm way downtown."

"Oh," Marina said, relaxing a bit. She sat down again and smiled. "So, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I just thought I'd call and say hello," Richard replied. "I haven't seen you in almost two days, you know. You weren't there when I got back from my run yesterday morning and you didn't come home last night--."

"I left you a note."

"About last night, yes; what happened to you yesterday morning?"

"I left you a note about that, too."

"No you didn't."

"Yes, I did. I left you a note saying that I'd left early so I could spend some time in the park sketching."

"No you didn't."

"Yes I--. Well, it's a moot point, now anyway. Hey! I got a commission, a big one!"

"Cool!"

"It's for a wedding and it'll be the works--from the engagement party invitations to the place cards at the reception. The client wants a theme and she wants it to be consistent throughout. And it's going to be a very big wedding, Ricky; we're talking about as many as 500 guests."

"You'll get writer's cramp!"

"You always say that!" Marina laughed.

"And you always do!"

"It's an occupational hazard, I admit. But I'll have plenty of time to get the work done, although I may have to hire some assistants to help with the addressing."

"It sounds like a very big commission."

"It is. I'm really psyched about it. They want me to design everything from scratch and my artwork for the invitations and the like will become the theme for the reception and set the color scheme for the whole event."

"It sounds wonderful, Emmy," Richard said proudly. "Why don't we celebrate tonight? I'll take you to dinner and you can--."

"Tonight's my swim class, Ricky."

"Oh. Well then, we'll celebrate tomorrow night--unless you have other plans." He tried to keep the edge out of voice but he suddenly felt frustrated.

"Studio night."

"How about the weekend?"

"Aren't you and William going to that baseball game Friday night?"

"Yeah, but that leaves Saturday and Sunday, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. Why don't we talk about this when I get home tonight? The cute guy is waiting for me," Marina said as she held up a hand to the coworker who'd come in to inform her that the man was outside her office.

"How cute is this guy?"

"We can talk about that later, too. Bye."

"Bye, Emmy. I--." Richard heard the call disconnect before he could finish his sentence. "Love you," he said glumly as he hung up the phone.

"Thank you, Lizzy. This has lifted my spirits far more than those flowers you brought earlier," Mary Bennet said with a slightly wicked smile.

William frowned in confusion, but Lizzy understood her meaning and laughed. They were sitting in Mary's hospital room, where the patient was in very good humor in spite of her injuries.

"Well, I hope you continue to be in good spirits," Lizzy replied. "Lydia should be here shortly."

"Has she seen him yet?"

"Oh yes," Lizzy sighed. "It was quite the scene at the dinner table last night."

"Poor William," Mary cooed. William frowned again.

"By the way, she promised to be here shortly, so William and I had better get moving," Lizzy said as she rose to kiss her sister goodbye. William also rose and gave Mary a kiss on the cheek.

"Better than Vicodin."

William opened his mouth to ask what she meant, but Lizzy grabbed hold of his hand and drew him away.

"Was I supposed to understand any of that?" he asked.

"Yes, but perhaps it was better that you didn't."

"Where are we going?"

"We're meeting Kitty and Daniel for lunch. She's the normal one in the family--after me, of course."

William laughed all the way to the elevator.

Richard took advantage of his free evening to drop in on Glen a second time. Unsatisfied with the answers he received to his questions, he walked aimlessly for a bit before realizing where he was--three blocks away from the YWCA. He checked his watch and decided to go and pick Marina up from her swim class. He reached the Y a few minutes before the class ended and took up a position outside the entrance to wait for her. As he waited, he replayed his conversation with Glen in his head.

"That's everything I wrote," Richard said when he finished reading. He handed the printout to Glen. "So what does it all mean?"

"What do you think it means?" Glen countered coolly.

"I'm more interested in hearing what you have to say."

"What I think doesn't matter as much as what you think. Do you love her?"

"Of course I love her!" Richard cried, leaping out of his seat. "I could have told you that without writing three and a half pages of sappy sentiments."

Glen simply smiled back, and Richard sat down with a sheepish look.

"Then if you love her--if you really love her--nothing I or anyone else says matters."

"Then why did you have me make this list?" Richard said in exasperated frustration.

"The list is for your benefit. I wanted you to understand your feelings about Emmy. You've spent a good twenty-four hours thinking about her now."

"Yeah?"

"Did you learn anything?"

Richard thought for a moment.

"Yeah." He smiled crookedly. "At first I was afraid that all these things on my list were really flimsy and that you'd just blow me away when you saw them. But the more I looked at them and the more I thought about her, the more I realized that they weren't flimsy at all. I really, really love Emmy, Glen."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"You asked me!"

Glen shook his head.

"That's not what I meant," Glen replied, smiling at Richard's irritated expression. "Have you told her any of this?"

"I will when I get the chance. I think--I think she's been avoiding me these last few days."

"Any idea why?"

Richard shrugged.

"It's my fault. I've been the indecisive one. It's ironic, really. I've always been very confident about relationships. Emmy's barely had any, as far as I know, anyway. Now, our positions seem to be reversed. I'm jumping at her every touch like a frightened virgin and she's eager to get on with things."

"Well, since you brought up the subject, why haven't you gotten on with things?"

Richard flustered for a moment.

"It's Emmy!"

"What does that mean? Never mind that. The bigger question is: can you get past that? Because if you can't get past the fact that, until recently, you've always considered Emmy a sibling you're essentially doomed."

"I don't want to be doomed," Richard muttered as the doors opened and a group of women spilled out. Marina was among them and she looked startled, then pleased to see him. She smiled and walked over to where he stood.

"Hi."

"Hi, Richard Fitzwilliam; you may remember me--." He extended his hand.

"Idiot boy," Marina said as wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him warmly. He returned the hug and initiated a kiss that earned the pair a few cattle calls from Marina's classmates.

"I love you," Richard said when he reluctantly broke the kiss. Marina allowed him to take her bag and wrapped her arm around one of his as they began to walk.

"I know."

"That's it? 'I know'?"

"What--was it a secret?"

Richard rolled his eyes.

"I was hoping for some reciprocity."

"Welcome to my life."

Richard knew that she was only teasing, but the words stung nonetheless. As the couple walked west across 57th Street, thought once again about Glen's warning and it annoyed him that at the moment the one thing keeping him from getting past his old notions about Marina was the woman herself. She seemed to run hot and cold, opening her arms to him one minute and throwing up barriers between them the next. Richard couldn't entirely blame her; he was well aware that she was the one was taking the bigger risk and that her relative inexperience with men made her apprehensive. But if bothered him nonetheless as Marina blithely trampled on his declaration and began to talk about her commission.

When they reached the apartment Richard went to his room and changed into a tee shirt and sweat pants. He emerged from his room to get a beer before retreating to his room and turning on the television. Marina came to the door a few minutes later.

"You've got a message from your mother," she said as she regarded him oddly. Richard stared right back at her.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Marina replied tentatively. Richard shrugged and reached for the phone. He dialed his parents' number and when he looked up again Marina was gone.

"Hello, dad," he said when Hugh answered. He spoke with his father briefly before Hugh handed the phone to Kathleen.

"How are you, honey?" Kathleen asked. Richard sighed heavily.

"Oh, just swell," Richard said in a voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I'm listening."

Richard spared no detail, telling Kathleen everything that had transpired since they last spoke, including everything that he and Glen had discussed.

"I'm slowly being driven insane," he concluded. "It's bad enough that I'm indecisive. Now Emmy's jumped on the bandwagon and we're getting nowhere fast."

"I didn't think that speed was a priority," Kathleen said sagely. "This situation didn't arise in one day and it's not going to be resolved that quickly, either."

"I just wish I knew what else to do," Richard said. "There are times when everything is great and we can just be in the moment, you know? And other times it's as though we can't be comfortable within ten feet of each other. I wish I knew why and I wish to God I could stop feeling that way. It's hurting both of us and that's the last thing I want."

The light went on in the bathroom across the hall. Richard rose from the bed and went to close the door. As he did so, he realized that Marina had probably heard at least part of what he'd just said. It troubled him but there was nothing he could do about it at the moment.

Across the hall, Marina stared at her reflection in the mirror, her face frozen in horror as Richard's words resounded in her ears:

"...We can't be comfortable within ten feet of each other. I wish I knew why and I wish to God I could stop feeling that way. It's hurting both of us and that's the last thing I want."

Marina reached for a towel and grimly wiped her face. She left the bathroom and climbed into bed. It was early yet, but she turned off the lights and pulled the covers up around her. She wanted to hide from the world that suddenly seemed to be collapsing around her ears.

"All right," William said crisply as he stood and dusted off his jeans. "I've met all your wicked sisters, I've earned the respect and admiration of your parents, I've seen the farm and I've milked a goat. It's time to blow this pop stand."

"You forgot to mention making it in a hayloft," Lizzy called up to him as she watched his denim-clad posterior descend the ladder.

"That wasn't an entirely new experience, I'm afraid."

"Hey, it was our first time," Lizzy pouted.

"One I don't care to repeat," William said as he plucked straw from Lizzy's hair. "That stuff isn't nearly as soft as it looks. Besides, you aren't a convincing farmer's daughter."

"And she was?"

"Who? Oh. Well..."

Lizzy could only laugh at his expression as William pulled away and reached for their discarded jackets.

"Shall we go?" he said quickly. "We've given the horses enough of a show, I think."

Lizzy laughed again as she led the way out of the barn. They strolled hand in hand toward the house, enjoying each other's company in the midday sun.

"You really do have to get back, don't you," Lizzy said after a few minutes' silence. "You have that game thing Saturday night."

"It's a Yankee game, not a 'game thing,' and yes, I should get back for it. I was perfectly willing to blow it off for you if I was needed here, but it seems as though Mary's well on the mend."

"That she is," Lizzy agreed. "She seems to be making--what?" Lizzy demanded when William stopped suddenly and shook his head. A flurry of dust and straw flew into the air as he did so.

"Better than Vicodin? Why that--. I just realized what your sister meant by that remark."

"She's right, you know. I'm certainly feeling no pain," Lizzy said huskily as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Of course, I get large, regular doses of you," Lizzy teased suggestively.

"I think you may be abusing me," William said as he took hold of her face. "Yes; look at your dilated pupils. You can barely stand up straight and you're full of nervous energy. Worse than that, your tolerance for me is increasing so that you've been demanding larger and larger doses."

Lizzy began to giggle and William had to struggle to maintain a straight face.

"This is serious, Lizzy. I'm afraid you're badly addicted." William rolled his eyes as Lizzy doubled over laughing. "And you've obviously had an overdose. I knew I shouldn't have entered that barn with you after seeing that glint in your eye," he said as he saw Thomas Bennet approaching from a distance.

Thomas spied the couple and paused to observe the odd scene. William was speaking animatedly to Lizzy, who seemed incapable of standing straight because she was laughing very hard.

"Now look what you've done," William continued, aware that he was being watched. "You've attracted your father's notice. He'll come over here now and see you in this sated state and--. Lizzy! Get up!"

Thomas did indeed stroll over to find out what had befallen his daughter, who laughed even harder when William playfully made a show of kicking her behind him to hide her from Thomas' eyes. He then walked over to meet Thomas halfway.

"What's that all about, then?" Thomas asked curiously. William glanced over his shoulder.

"Oh that? It's nothing. Why don't we go back inside and have a nice chat, man to man. I've been surrounded by women these last few days." With that William and Thomas went back to the house, leaving a smiling Lizzy sitting in the grass.

"Richard, you have a call."

"Thanks, Tineke," he replied as he reached for the phone. A few minutes later he finished his call and frowned as he wrote something in his notebook. "I've got to fly back to Phoenix," he said as he picked up the phone and speed-dialed a number.

"Why?" Tineke asked, but Richard wasn't paying attention. She leaned on his desk and waited for his response.

"Hey, Emmy, bad news," Richard said. "I've got to fly to Phoenix tonight. We just got a call from the authorities out there. They've impaneled a commission to study the building collapse and they want me to testify." He glanced up at Tineke, who winced and shook her head before returning to her desk.

"Better you than me," she muttered.

"Will you be gone long?" Marina asked.

"I don't think so. The hearings start tomorrow morning and they want me to appear before them early in the afternoon. I should be back by tomorrow night or Saturday morning at the latest. It depends on how long they keep me."

"Oh," she said miserably. "So you'll be leaving right away?"

"I'm going home now to pack, as soon as I get all my stuff together. They'll call me from the office as soon as I'm booked on a flight, so I'll probably leave before you get home. Sorry."

"Have a safe flight."

"I will. And I'll call you tonight after I've checked into the hotel, okay?"

"Okay, Ricky."

There was a brief silence.

"I love you, Auntie Em."

"I love you, too, but I'm still going to beat you senseless for that when you come home."

"I'll look forward to that," Richard said before he hung up. "Let's get to work," he said rising.

"We should have done this sooner," Thomas said as he led William into his study. He gestured for him to sit and reached for a decanter of brandy. "How you've managed to retain your sanity for this long is a wonder to me."

William laughed as he reached out to gratefully accept the snifter he was offered.

"Lizzy keeps me sane," William said sincerely.

"I notice that it doesn't seem to work both ways," Thomas said dryly. William laughed again. "May I ask what that was all about out there?"

"You may ask," William said tentatively, but the look on his face made Thomas drop the inquiry.

"How much longer will you two be staying? I don't suppose Lizzy's presence is required anymore, although I love having her here."

"We were discussing that earlier. We'll probably leave in the morning, if we can get a flight," William replied as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "But before we leave there's something I'd like to discuss with you."

"Sounds serious," Thomas said, attempting to suppress a smile.

"It's very serious, "William said. He took a sip and swallowed nervously. "I'd like your permission to marry your daughter."

"Which one?" Thomas said impishly and laughed when William's eyes opened wide. "Forgive me; I couldn't resist. And shouldn't you be getting Lizzy's permission?"

"Your blessing, then."

Thomas sat forward in his chair and regarded William for a moment.

"Even before I laid eyes on you I knew my Lizzy had fallen deeply and hopelessly in love. She'd spoken of you a few times on the phone, but when I saw her at the airport she was positively glowing and I knew that you were the reason. I've never her seen her so happy. That is, she was the happiest I'd ever seen her until you arrived. Every time the two of look into each other's eyes I see my power over her fading. You've become the center of her universe now."

William frowned, disconcerted by Thomas's remark.

"I--."

"No, no, not to worry, William. It's a father's prerogative to wallow in self-pity and become melodramatic when his favorite girl grows up and goes off to start a family of her own. I take it you two do want a family," Thomas asked delicately.

"Well, to tell you the truth we haven't discussed it yet. I haven't even broached the subject of marriage with Lizzy yet. There's no rush--I just wanted to know that I had your blessing when the time comes."

Thomas threw back his head and laughed. William frowned again.

"Forgive me, son, but I've never seen a couple more ready for marriage than you two."

"Hey girl! Why do you sound so depressed?" Lizzy asked when Marina answered the phone.

"Richard has to fly to Phoenix," she replied. "I won't see him again till he gets back."

"Oh, you poor thing. Well, I've got good news. Mary's well on the mend so we'll be coming home tomorrow. It's hardly adequate compensation, I know, but it's something."

Marina smiled in spite of herself.

"Want to have dinner?" Lizzy asked. "Just us girls; William can fend for himself for one night. In fact, I think I'll call a few of my other friends and make a ladies' night of it."

"Thanks, that sounds cool. When will you arrive?"

"I just booked us a flight that will put us at LaGuardia at 2:00 tomorrow. Why don't you come over around seven?"

"Okay."

"I've got to go find William. He's gone off somewhere with my dad and who knows what strange things he's finding out about me."

Marina laughed at Lizzy's tone and said her goodbyes. Lizzy hung up the phone and shut down her laptop before going in search of her beloved. She found him in her father's study, ensconced in one of the old leather wing chairs sipping brandy.

"What are you two up to?" she asked suspiciously.

"See what I mean?" Thomas said. "She was always very nosy. You'll have to watch for that."

"Oh lord," Lizzy said as she sat on the arm of her father's chair. "What has he been telling you?"

"Nothing I haven't already surmised for myself," William said cryptically. He smiled at Lizzy and Thomas sighed. "Sorry," William said with a wink at him.

"What are you apologizing for?"

"Every time he looks at you like that it takes a year off my life," Thomas said dramatically, clutching his heart as he spoke.

"Then it's a good thing I just got us a flight out of Dodge," she said before she leaned down to kiss his hair.

"Will I ever see you again?" Thomas asked.

"You ought to come down for a visit," William suggested.

"Alone," Lizzy added.

Richard arrived at his apartment and immediately began to pack. He accomplished the task quickly and sat down to call Marina. She was out of the office so he left a brief voicemail and spent a moment with Squeaks before he gathered up his things and headed for the door. He paused and looked back at the dining room table, where he'd left a bouquet of flowers and a card. Then he went downstairs and caught a cab to the airport.

"So what did you guys talk about?" Lizzy asked as she led William away from the study.

"Man stuff," he replied.

"In other words, daddy told you every embarrassing thing about me that he could think of," Lizzy pouted. William paused on the steps and looked at her.

"No he didn't, but that sounds like a 'can't miss' conversation. Go on up without me," he said as he made to turn around. Lizzy yelped and tightened her grip on his arm.

"Oh no you don't! We've got packing to do," she said as she dragged him up the stairs. "So what did you two really do, then, if dad didn't talk about me?"

"Oh he talked about you. He talked about you plenty. I was nearly bored to tears by the time you came in to rescue me. Lizzy this, Lizzy that. I was on the verge of asking him to move on and talk about Lydia just to keep awake."

Lizzy pushed William hard and he fell back on the bed laughing. She pounced on him, pinning him to the mattress.

"You know, you're in a terribly good mood, Mr. Darcy. What gives?"

"Let's see; I woke up this morning and made love to the most beautiful woman in the world. Then I took a walk around the farm, entered a barn and made love to the most beautiful woman in the world. Then I came back here, chatted with your father for a while and unless I miss my guess, I'm very close to making love with the most beautiful woman in the world yet again. It's been a very good day."

"You'd better spill, or else this woman may not put out."

"Who said I was talking about you?" William said as he flipped Lizzy over and began to tickle her.

"If you're doing me and 'the most beautiful woman in the world' you must be quite the stud."

"You had doubts?" William asked as he began to unbutton Lizzy's shirt. She slapped away his hand.

"Hey, you don't get any before you talk!"

"Hey, I don't talk until I get some," William countered.

"It seems we've reached an impasse," Lizzy said. William sat up and straightened his clothes before heading for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Well, since there's nothing happening up here, I'm going back down to the study." William closed the door before Lizzy wailed and laughed as he raced down the stairs. He nearly collided with Lydia at the bottom.

"Oops!" Lydia said coquettishly.

"Sorry," William said as he sidestepped her. "If anyone should ask, I've gone out for a walk."

"Would you care for some company?" Lydia cooed.

"Down girl," Lizzy said as she came down the stairs unapologetically pushing past her younger sibling. William let out a little cry and ran. He reached the door of the study just as Lizzy caught up with him. They wrestled for the knob, elbowing each other and exchanging threats as they struggled.

"What on earth is going on?"

The couple froze and turned around to see Edith glaring at them. Behind them, Thomas opened the door to the study. William considered his options and turned to the bewildered gentleman.

"May we come in?" William asked as he wrapped an arm around Lizzy's waist. Thomas stepped back and the pair entered the study and closed the door behind them.

Marina entered her apartment and found Richard's flowers. She smiled and bent to smell them before she read the card. But his expressions of love couldn't lift her spirits as memories of his words the previous night intruded on her thoughts.

"...We can't be comfortable within ten feet of each other. I wish I knew why and I wish to God I could stop feeling that way. It's hurting both of us and that's the last thing I want."

"All right, Marina," she said to herself as she set the card down. "This isn't getting you anywhere. You know what you want and it's high time you stopped waiting for Ricky to get a clue and went for it. When he comes back we're going to sit down and talk--really talk." She smiled to herself and rose to change out of her work clothes. She fed Squeaks before making herself a simple dinner.

When Marina first learned that Richard would be away she had decided to go home, grab a quick dinner and then go over to the calligraphy studio for a few hours. But she decided to work at home instead and pulled out her supplies. She chose to sketch a few flowers from the bouquet as a warm up before getting down to work on her commission, but her attention was repeatedly drawn to the rose that was the centerpiece of the loose arrangement. Marina plucked it from the vase and laid it on the table. Before the evening was over she had designed a motif for the wedding that featured a pair of intertwined roses. It would be one of three motifs she'd show the client for her approval, but she was certain that the roses were the best of them.

Marina cleaned up and put away her supplies. Then she went into the kitchen to put on water for tea before changing for bed. After listening to music for a while she went into Richard's room and crawled into his bed to dream of the man she loved and make plans for his return.

"Maybe I should go with you now," Thomas said to Lizzy as they watched Edith chatter William's ears off.

"You should have said something before we checked in our luggage," she replied with a wink. Thomas wrapped his arm around Lizzy's shoulder and kissed her hair.

"I'll miss you, my girl," he whispered. "At least I'll know you're in good hands."

"He's got wonderful hands," Lizzy said archly before she went to rescue the man under discussion. William smiled gratefully as Lizzy literally pried Edith's hand from his arm. Their flight was announced and the couple said its farewells before heading for the gate.

"Didn't think you'd get out of there alive, did you?" Lizzy said when William sighed. He peered out the window as the plane began to taxi toward the runway.

"I won't truly be at ease till this thing gets off the ground," he said.

"You've been invited back for Thanksgiving."

William tried not to groan audibly.

"I usually spend Thanksgiving in Northampton. Why don't you come with me?"

"Coward!" Lizzy teased, although she softened the insult by wrapping herself around his arm.

"I'm not a coward. It's just that Aunt Kathleen makes the best pumpkin pie on the planet and I wouldn't miss that for anything," William said smugly. Lizzy giggled and leaned against his shoulder.

"I love you."

"I'm still going to Northampton."

"And I'll go with you, if you tell daddy."

"Deal."

Chapter 22

Marina's plans didn't go exactly as she planned Friday night. She had prepared a welcome home dinner for Richard, who had called and told her that he would be back in the city by seven. But bad weather and fog over the city conspired to keep him from reaching the east coast before midnight. It was nearly two o'clock when Richard dragged himself into the apartment. Only Squeaks was awake to greet him. He sighed and bent to pick up the cat on his way into the living room. In the darkened space he could see that the dining table was set for dinner, but the sofa bed was closed and there was no sign of Marina.

"No," he groaned as he let the cat slip from his arms. He pulled off his raincoat and jacket and threw them down on the chair before he turned on a lamp. The room was just as he left it Thursday. Richard grimaced and shook his head. He ran his hands through his hair before he realized that there was nothing he could do about the situation. He was too tired to do anything but sleep so he turned off the lamp and headed for the bedroom.

He flipped the light on and took a few steps into the room before he saw movement on the bed and heaved a sigh of relief. Curled up on the far side of the massive bed Marina slept peacefully. Richard walked over and knelt at her side. He gently brushed back her hair and kissed her forehead. Then he turned off the light, stripped down to his shorts and slid into bed beside her and fell asleep as soon as he'd wrapped an arm around her. When he woke up several hours later, he was alone save for Squeaks, who was lying in the spot she'd vacated and lazily cleaning his foot. Richard lifted his head and frowned.

"Where did she go?" he asked the cat, who stood and stretched before rubbing his body against Richard in a shameless plea for attention. Richard scratched him behind the ears. "And don't tell me you weren't fed because I can smell it on your breath, tuna face," he said to the cat, who took offense and jumped off the bed. That's when Richard noticed the note card he'd been lying on. It was slightly dented from the cat's weight, he noted, as he picked it up and opened it.

Ricky,

I wanted to make last night very special for your return but you (and Mother Nature and Continental, and some taxi, I bet) wouldn't cooperate. So Squeaks and I ate the salmon and I ate your dessert, too, because I was lonely and feeling sorry for myself. And then we both got sick--and why am I telling you all this? ;)

I missed you. It was nice to wake up in your arms, though. Too bad I had to be at the studio this morning. I guess I won't see till tonight when you get home from your baseball thing. I'll give you a call later so you can tell me how much you missed me, too.

Emmy

Richard smiled at the little self-portrait she'd drawn at the bottom of the card and closed his eyes. A moment later he fell fast asleep again.

By the time Marina arrived at Lizzy's apartment late Saturday afternoon her other guests had already arrived. Lisa, Alva, and Danielle had attended Columbia with Lizzy and remained close since graduation. Marina had only met Lisa previously, but she very quickly became comfortable with the other women.

"Name your poison, ladies," Lizzy declared. "I have beer and popcorn for the movie. And dinner is your choice." She scattered a handful of takeout menus on the coffee table.

"I brought Twizzlers and wine," Lisa said with guilty pleasure.

"Amateur," Alva said as she lifted a bag and smiled at the sounds of approval from her friends. Marina sat back and watched as the others eagerly pressed Alva to open the box of Godiva chocolates. The box was passed around and Marina smiled as she selected a piece.

"I brought..." Danielle paused for effect. The room was completely silent. She opened the bag and pulled out a stack of DVDs and squeals of delight and displeasure greeted her selections.

"I didn't know I was supposed to bring something," Marina said softly.

"Oh, it's all right," Lizzy said. "This is something of an established ritual with us. You can bring something next time."

"Well," Marina said as she looked into her tote bag, "I might be able to contribute..." She pulled out a small bag. "Would this count as a contribution? It isn't edible, but--."

"Wow! It'll be just like Saturday night at the dorm," Lisa said as she reached for the bottles of nail polish that spilled out of the bag.

"I'll get the manicure stuff," Lizzy said as she rose and left the room. Marina smiled.

"Are you sure you don't mind sharing?" Danielle asked. Marina shook her head.

"It was an impulse purchase. I'm an artist and I get a little crazy sometimes when I see interesting colors." Lizzy returned and the group agreed to order Thai food. The order was placed and a video was popped into the DVD player.

"Okay, here's the trick," Alva said. "How do we eat popcorn and do our nails at the same time?"

"That is not a multi-tasking option," Lizzy said as she opened one of the bottles and examined the color more closely. She turned and smiled at Marina. "I can't imagine you with ice blue fingernails, Marina."

"Oh, I was thinking of my toes. In fact, I was thinking that it would be fun to do each toe a different color. That's why I bought four colors."

"She wasn't a math major, was she?" Alva teased. Lizzy prodded her with an elbow.

"I have more nail polish at home," Marina explained. "And I was going to use five colors in all."

"Oh." Alva glanced at Lizzy questioningly. Lizzy smiled at her and Alva understood that Marina was somewhat more serious than the rest of the group. Lizzy went into the bedroom and came back with more nail polish.

"Here; now you can do all your toes," she said. "So, what will Richard say when you come home with multi-colored digits?"

"I don't know," Marina shrugged. "They're my toes, so I really wouldn't care what he thought about it. Actually, he's seen me with blue and pink Kool Aid streaked through my hair so this probably would slip in under the radar."

"You mean your man doesn't play with your toes, Marina?" Danielle said. "Pity! I love it when--." She froze as four pairs of eyes focused on her. "I love it when David polishes my toe nails for me," she finished quietly. Alva and Lisa shared knowing smiles. "Does Richard polish your toe nails?" Marina shook her head as though the question was absurd.

"How about your new man, Lizzy?" Alva asked as she decided to polish her toenails in a variety of colors as well.

"We have far more interesting things to do when we're alone," she said smugly. The other women whooped and made rude noises, to Marina's amusement.

"You know, I spent good money getting manicures, all kinds of treatments and the like so I could have ten decent nails and you know what my boyfriend said? He said my nails were getting too long. It took me three years to get them like this and he wants me to cut them."

"Maybe you're using them a bit too aggressively, Alva," Lizzy said with a smirk.

"She does claim to be a tigress in the bedroom," Lisa agreed.

"Yeah," Danielle said. "Tell him if he can't stand the heat get out of the jungle." Her comment set off another round so hoots and hollers.

"My boyfriend gets his nose out of joint when I do my nails. He doesn't like the smell of the remover, he doesn't like to see the cotton balls with the red polish on them; he says it looks like blood," Lisa complained.

"David says I should do all that 'girl stuff' like manicures, hair removal, etcetera while he's out of the house," Danielle carped.

"You put up with that?" Lizzy asked. "I've never lived with a man, but I would not be a happy camper if the man I was with tried to set down rules like that."

"You're lucky," Lisa said.

"Right on," Danielle agreed. "I mean, it's great being with David, but I sometimes wish he'd just move out and just visit three or four times a week to provide essential services."

"Provide essential services, do the laundry, and then go home, taking the garbage out on the way," Lisa amended. "What about you?" she asked Marina.

"What about me?" Marina replied, not knowing what she was expected to say.

"Do you live with your boyfriend?"

"Oh; yes."

"How is he?"

"He's fine," Marina replied with a confused frown. She'd been focusing on the movie, so she'd only heard part of the conversation.

"He's very fine," Lizzy said with a lascivious look. "Marina has a penchant for attracting gorgeous men. Fortunately for me, she's willing to share."

"Uh, you're going to have to explain that, girl," Alva said.

"I introduced Lizzy to her current boyfriend," Marina said simply.

"Uh huh. That's it?" Alva teased with a pointed look at Lizzy.

"I'm afraid so," Lizzy admitted. "Nothing kinky."

"Kinky?" Marina repeated. "No." Lizzy patted her hand reassuringly.

Copious amounts of food had been consumed and the wine and beer were gone when Lisa looked at her watch and declared it was time to call it a night. Marina yawned and stretched, somewhat relieved that the evening was over. She'd enjoyed the camaraderie and the company, but she felt somewhat awkward when the women were talking about men and relationships. She found she could relate to very little of what was being discussed and found herself blushing at some of the frank and open remarks about sexuality and sensuality. Lizzy suggested that Marina call Richard before she left, even though she was only traveling to a place three blocks away. When Marina reached him, Richard insisted on coming to meet her. Marina felt slightly fuzzy headed from the wine so she didn't argue. She was tired and looking forward to going to bed. Marina went to the bathroom then began to collect her things. She turned at the sound of the intercom.

"Come on up," Lizzy said and winked at the others. "Stick around for a minute, girls. You are in for a real treat." A minute later, Richard knocked on the door. "Is this eye candy or what?" she said as she opened the door. Richard stepped into the apartment and was greeted by most unexpected commentary.

"And Marina thought she had nothing to contribute to the evening's entertainment?"

"If I had him waiting at home..."

"Woof!"

"Um, hello, ladies." He smiled and then looked at Marina quizzically, but she only shrugged. "Are you ready?" She nodded and went to collect her bag. She told Lizzy she'd call the next day and said good night to the others. Lizzy closed the apartment door as the couple walked hand in hand to the elevator.

"What was that all about?" Richard asked after he'd kissed Marina and pushed the button.

"They think you're hot."

"Oh."

Marina looked up at him critically.

"You are."

"Thanks," Richard smiled. But Marina continued to look at him, a small frown creasing her brow. Richard drew her into the elevator and stared back at her. "You've been drinking."

"I had three glasses of wine. What of it?"

Richard shook his head, still smiling.

"Did you have fun?" he asked as the door opened and they walked out into the crisp night air.

"Some," she said noncommittally. "You?"

"Yeah. The Yankees won, the hot dogs were good, the beer cold, and the company excellent; it was a good night all around."

"Swell."

Richard frowned and pulled Marina closer so that he could wrap an arm around her. She seemed to resist slightly, or so Richard imagined. But she came to him and put her arm around his waist.

"So, what's on your mind, Emmy?" Richard asked as they turned the corner and approached his building a few minutes later.

"What do you mean?"

"You're thinking; I can hear it."

"Is that a problem?"

"You're in a mood, aren't you?" Richard said with a smile as he held the door and watched Marina stride to the elevator. By the time they were at the door to the apartment she was pouting. "Are you going to tell me what's on your mind or do I have to guess?"

"No, I'll tell you," Marina said as she dropped her bag and bent to pick up Squeaks. She walked into the living room and sat on the sofa, where evidence that Richard had been entertaining was evident. There were discarded beer bottles on the table and an empty bowl that formerly contained potato chips. "You had company?"

"Everyone came back here," Richard said somewhat self-consciously, "since you were going to be out anyway and we wanted to hang out a bit more. I hope you don't mind," he added, feeling silly for doing so.

"It's your apartment, Ricky!"

"I know, but you live here, too," he said as he began to gather up the bottles and scrape errant crumbs into the bowl. Marina reached for the last bottle. "No, I'll take care of it." Marina sat back. Richard returned with a cloth to wipe down the table and he checked around to see if there was anything else in need of attention. Marina watched him fuss as she quietly stroked the cat. Richard finally returned and sat on the sofa.

"So."

"So?" Marina repeated.

"You had something to tell me?"

Marina lowered her eyes to the cat for a moment.

"Do you want to be with me?" she asked softly.

"What kind of question is that? Of course I want to be with you!" Richard cried incredulously. "I love you!"

"I know you do, but ... do you want to be with me?" Richard simply stared at Marina. Squeaks climbed out of her lap and headed for Richard's but he paid the cat no heed. "There is a difference, you know."

"May I ask what brought this on?" he asked after waiting for an explanation that never came. Marina sighed and turned so that she couldn't see his face.

"We're not together, you know. I just spent the evening with four women involved in relationships with men and found I had little or nothing in common with any of them. And one of them met her boyfriend weeks after you declared yourself to be in love with me."

"What does that have to do with your question?"

"Ricky," Marina sighed. "I know you love me. I don't doubt that for a minute, but you and I can hardly be said to have a relationship."

"Well, we don't have a complete relationship yet--."

"We've gone on a handful of dates, we kiss... I'd feel like I was thirteen again--if I'd had a life when I was thirteen."

"I didn't want to rush into anything," Richard said defensively.

"And neither did I, but there's 'not rushing' and there's 'inert,' Ricky. We're the latter. We're no closer now than we were weeks ago."

"Well, I wasn't sure how fast we should be moving things."

"Are you sure you want to move things, Ricky?"

"What are you suggesting?" he asked, as he felt the pain of her words seep in.

"I want you to make love to me," Marina said bluntly. Richard's mouth fell open. He snapped it shut but was too stunned to speak. "Don't you want me?" she challenged.

"Of course I do."

"Then make love to me," she demanded. Her body language was not as confident as her words suggested, but Richard was moved by her declaration. He sighed and shook his head, a wry smile on his lips.

"I could do that."

He reached for her hand and led her to the bedroom. He paused at the door and turned to look back at her but the question he was about to ask died on his lips. There wasn't a shred of doubt in the eyes that looked back as him. Richard smiled and bent his head to kiss her.

"Hello?"

"I love the sound of that voice," Lizzy purred. William smiled.

"Hello, beautiful."

"Hello, yourself. Did you have a nice time at the game?"

"Yes, I did. It was a great game, but having a night with the boys meant that I had to spend the entire evening just thinking about you."

"Just thinking?"

"Yes, and no matter what anyone tells you, 'just thinking' leaves a heck of a lot to be desired."

"Such as?"

"Such as doing things without thinking about them, like mindless--."

"Instead of talking about it, why don't you come over here and show me?"

Lizzy heard a click, indicating that William had hung up the phone. She smiled to herself as she went into the bedroom and changed the sheets. William was at Lizzy's house in less than fifteen minutes. He'd thrown a few things into a duffle bag and called downstairs for the doorman hail him a cab. Lizzy was surprised to see him so soon after her call. She'd been preparing for his arrival, and was putting the finishing touches to her arrangements when she heard the buzzer. A minute later, William was at the door. He gaped at Lizzy's attire; a simple silk slip of a nightgown that starkly contrasted with William's jeans and Yankee uniform shirt. William removed his baseball cap and she stood on her toes to kiss him. When they finally came up for air, he placed it on her head and there it remained, somewhat skewed, for the better part of the next hour.

She was alive, had never felt more alive in her life. Marina opened her eyes and fixed them upon Richard's. He smiled back at her and she knew how wrong she'd been to doubt him. All the answers were there in his eyes. She closed her eyes and listened to him. There were answers there, too, in words of love and encouragement.

"I'm an idiot," she said aloud, though it was meant for her own ears.

"I love you anyway," Richard said.

"This was so not a mistake."

"No argument there."

Marina lifted her head and studied Richard's face for a moment.

"I love you."

"I know," Richard replied cheekily. "I've never doubted it for a moment, Emmy. I just had a hard time--." Marina shook her head and covered his lips with the tips of her fingers.

"None of that matters anymore. All that matters is now."

Each couple rose late the following morning and independently decided to go out for a late breakfast at a local restaurant. William spied Marina and Richard in a booth as he and Lizzy were being led to a table at the back of the restaurant. He started to say something, but saw the way the two were looking at each other and decided against intruding on their privacy. But Marina glanced up at that moment and Richard followed her eyes.

"William? What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Lizzy and I are having brunch," he said, approaching the table where the two were holding hands. Marina and Richard exchanged a glance.

"Well, why don't you two join us?" Marina said. William was tempted to say no, but he looked up and saw Lizzy coming back his way. "Hi, Lizzy."

"Have a seat," Richard said as he slid a bit farther into the booth. Lizzy took in the entwined hands on the table and the radiant glow of Marina's cheeks and started to refuse.

"Sit down," Marina said insistently.

"You'd better listen," Richard said. "She's become very demanding all of a sudden and I wouldn't try her patience if I were you."

"You go, girl," Lizzy said with a little pump of her fist. She slid into the booth next to Richard, who was smiling at Marina's blush.

"Some things never change," he said as he reached out and caressed her cheek.

Lizzy bit her lip to suppress her smile. Marina wouldn't quite meet her eyes, but there was no doubt in Lizzy's or William's mind that things had changed between the pair. Lizzy winked at William and then turned her eyes to the menu. When everyone had placed an order, William sat back and rubbed his hands together.

"So what's new and exciting?" he asked innocently. Lizzy kicked him under the table just as he realized what he'd said. Richard burst out laughing. Marina smiled, albeit self-consciously. She blushed several more times over the course of the brunch, but she also laughed as much as anyone else and she seemed to be more relaxed and at ease than Lizzy had ever seen her.

"What a difference a day makes," Lizzy said as she squeezed William's hand and watched Marina and Richard walk away.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing," Lizzy said as she wrapped herself around William's arm. "Let's go home."

"Hello," Richard said groggily one morning about a week later.

"Did I wake you? I'm sorry, honey," Kathleen said. "I was actually calling to speak with Marina."

"Good, you can wake her up, too," Richard said. "Hold on. Emmy? Hey, honey, mom's on the phone for you."

"Tell her to call back; I want to sleep some more," Marina mumbled.

"No you don't! Come back here!"

"Ow! What? I'm awake now, Ricky. Thank you!"

Kathleen gasped as she realized exactly what she was hearing. She covered her mouth and fought an inexplicable urge to cry.

"Hello Mrs. F," Marina said finally.

"Good morning, honey. I'm sorry to wake you."

"You didn't wake me; Ricky did," she said, pausing to hit him with a pillow. "And he takes great delight in waking me up."

"I see," Kathleen said. "Well, I just called to see how you were doing, since we haven't spoken in a while...but I suppose I needn't have worried."

"Ricky, we are so busted," Marina said as she went pale.

"Huh?"

"Your mother knows we're--."

"Lovers?"

"Yeah," she replied in a small voice.

"So?"

"It's Mrs. F!"

"She was bound to figure it out sooner or later. Better to end her speculation now and let her worry about something else," Richard said as he took the phone. "Mom, can we call you back later? I think Emmy's in shock." He hung up without waiting for an answer. Kathleen smiled and hung up the phone.

"So are you really coming to Northampton with me on Thanksgiving?" William asked as he scanned the page before him. Lizzy didn't answer right away, allowing William a moment to worry. "Lizzy?"

"I told you I would, didn't I?" she said with a smile.

"You take great delight in vexing me," he replied tartly, causing Lizzy to nearly choke on her coffee.

"Please don't quote my mother," she said. "The idea of you and my mother in the same mental place is a terrifying prospect. When are you planning to go up?"

"I'd like to drive up the night before, if that's okay with you."

"Who else will be there?"

"Aside from Aunt Kathy and Uncle Hugh, and Richard and Marina, my parents, Georgie, Grandma Bess and Edward."

"Do they live in a country club, too?"

"Hardly; the Fitzwilliams live very comfortably but whereas my mother married into old money, Aunt Kathy married a man of considerably more modest means and together they had to make a decent living for themselves. They live in a great old house where having eleven people underfoot would make things quite cozy, so mom and dad and Grandma Bess and Edward will be staying at a bed and breakfast nearby. Hope you don't mind, but I prefer to stay at the house. I used to spend a good part of every summer up there."

"Not at all," Lizzy replied. "I'm used to living in close quarters, remember?"

"Oh yes, you and that brood," William said as he looked up. Jessica was standing in the doorway waiting. "Look, I've got to go. I'll talk to you tonight and we can finalize our plans then."

"Okay, gorgeous. I'll see you tonight."

"Bye, honey," William said as he looked up and beckoned for Jessica to enter the room. "What can I do for you?"

"I have those files I borrowed the other day," she said as she let her eyes wander over the notes William had made outlining his plans for the Thanksgiving weekend. "So, making big plans for the holidays?" William sat back and slammed the notebook shut. "Hey! I'm just making polite conversation," she said, affronted by his behavior.

"Fine--so what are you doing for the holidays?" he countered.

"I'm flying out to California to have Thanksgiving with my folks, but only for a day. My boyfriend and I have plans for the rest of the weekend."

"Your boyfriend? So you finally decided to get a life of your own rather than interfering in mine?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Do you really think that I am not onto you your machinations?" William said, as he raised his hands to tick off the long list of offenses. "Where should I begin? How about you telling my mother that Lizzy didn't want to share a room with me over Labor Day weekend? Or your little phone stunt when Lizzy had to go out of town on emergency? Oh, and about those other lies you told my mother when you were out at the house--my mom was onto you before I even had a chance to set her straight. She's come to think the world of Lizzy, by the way. It's almost ironic; your little scheme is what made her make more of an effort to open up to her in the first place. Thank you."

"I didn't--."

"It doesn't matter, anymore, Jessica. It never mattered--don't you see that? Lizzy and I are in love and nothing you or anyone else did was going to interfere with that. I hope you and your boyfriend find something like that. It'll keep you busy and out of trouble," William said mildly."

Jessica didn't know quite how to respond to that so she just smiled weakly and left the office. William smiled in satisfaction and got back to work.

Continued In Next Section