Section I, Next Section
Posted on Tuesday, 6 June 2006
William Darcy walked in his front door with a heavy heart thinking it had been the longest six months of his entire life. Mostly, he'd spent the time throwing himself into his work, trying to deal with the pain and grief that had consumed the last year of his life. But every morning the pain slapped him in the face at the sight of her-his wife. His beautiful wife, Elizabeth, who was now a shell of the vibrant woman she once was. He remembered when he first met her-a simple southern girl straight off the plantation. He could hardly believe Georgiana had set him up with such a girl and had almost blown off the date entirely, but for the sake of his sister he had stayed. In one evening he had become mesmerized with her. He had never met another woman who could keep up him so well. Their relationship had never been easy; she didn't exactly like him when they first met however his love and constant friendship had finally turned her heart. Their first three years of marriage had been perfect ... Elizabeth and he had been so happy.
William considered Elizabeth a piece of his heart and soul. She was irreplaceable. He loved her so much, and he thought they could have handled anything together, weathered any storm, but now he just didn't know what to do.
After she had lost the baby their relationship had completely fallen apart. She wouldn't speak to anyone about it; in fact she almost tried to completely ignore it. However he could see the grief in her eyes and could hear here cries late at night. It tortured him that he couldn't do anything to help her.
Almost five months later, when he finally felt that they were starting to make headway in their relationship her younger sister, Lydia, had disappeared. He had done everything to find her, followed every lead and in the end he had found her. However, what he found tore him to the very core. She was in a shelter, pregnant, worn, and utterly alone. He'd had taken her to the hospital and then to Elizabeth aunt and uncle's home in London. Physically she and the baby were healthy but emotionally she was a wreck. George Wickham had kidnapped her, tied her up and then left her for dead. Lydia had truly believed that Wickham had loved her, but she could not have been more wrong. Elizabeth was shaken when she learned of her sister's pain. Elizabeth had pulled away from him again and tried to keep all her emotions bottled inside.
While his heart was breaking as his wife shut him out from her pain, he had helped the police apprehend Wickham. However, because of the legal agreement he had entered into with the police he couldn't tell the woman he loved his role in Lydia's rescue or Wickham's capture until after the trial was over. Darcy attended every day of the trial and finally learned of Wickam's real motive for kidnapping his wife's sister. What he learned he knew would destroy his wife.
Wickham had never meant to kidnap Lydia. In fact, it had been Elizabeth he wanted. He had been obsessed with her, and wanted to take her away with him. Wickham had a private bungalow in Fiji that he had planned on taking her to. George had first met her soon after Elizabeth and William had become engaged. Although William hated George Wickham, he had never told his fiancée about his dealings with the man.
William had spent most of his childhood watching his father expand his great-grandfather's company from a profitable organization to a world-wide Fortune five hundred company. George Darcy had put Pemberley Technologies on the map. So when William caught Wickham stealing from his father's dream he had thrown him out of the company, hoping never to hear from him again. However he didn't realize that by keeping the truth from Elizabeth he only put her in danger. Elizabeth, not realizing that she should not trust George, became fast friends with him. When William found out, the fight they had over him had almost broken their engagement. However, after a week of not speaking to one another they had both broken down their resolve. Elizabeth had listened to William's story and was horrified at the type of man she had trusted. William had told her about how he had trusted George and that later George had broken that trust by trying to steal from his father's company. Wickham had taken from the man whose money had paid for his education and had gotten him out of many questionable situations in his younger days. William also told her about Wickham's arrest for the assault of a girl he had met in college. Although the police had not had enough evidence to convict George, William was convinced that he had done it. That day had been a turning point in their relationship and they had agreed to no longer keep secrets from one another. So not telling her about the kidnapping had been weighing on him heavily.
Wickham, however, had still not left them alone even after Elizabeth told him their friendship was over. He was like a child and telling him he couldn't have something made him want it more. He had continued to stalk Elizabeth while developing a relationship with her youngest sister Lydia. Lydia had come to spend the summer in England with Elizabeth and himself and since she had never been as close to Lydia as her other sisters she had never talked to her about her love life. Sadly this meant she had never thought to warn her about how dangerous George Wickham really was.
George had grown more obsessed with Elizabeth with each passing day. Elizabeth and William were married and perfectly happy not realizing the danger that had lurked on the horizon. Finally, George decided that he had to have her even if it meant kidnapping. When the day finally arrived and he realized that he wasn't going to be able to kidnap Elizabeth, he had grabbed her sister instead. His original plan was not to ask for a ransom, but to swap Elizabeth for Lydia. His plan was ridiculous and had failed, but in end he had left Lydia pregnant and alone.
When the trial was over and Wickham was sentenced William still felt his wife wasn't ready for the extra burden of knowing the truth--that she was Wickham's motivation for her sister's misery.
However, keeping secrets from his wife was not in William's nature, so he had finally decided to tell her tonight. She deserved to know the truth even though it would hurt her, but he honestly didn't know where to begin. He entered the foyer and called her name, "Beth?" no answer. "Beth?" Still no answer.
He entered the living room expecting to find her curled up on the couch, but she wasn't there. He began to search every room in the house, but she was nowhere to be found. Fear ripped through him as he went into the master bedroom and found a letter on his pillow. He opened it with trembling fingers. The first thing he noticed was her signature was not nearly as neat as it usually was, like her hand had been shaking while she wrote the missive and it was blotted with tear stains.
Dear Will,I honestly don't know where to begin, but I think I should tell you that I've decided to leave and stay with my Aunt and Uncle Gardiner. I don't plan on staying there very long as I hope to leave for the States within a week. I am going home Will. Please don't try to find me, please just let me go. I know this won't be easy for either of us but there is just too much pain for me to deal with right now. I can't... I just can't be with you. We've just hurt each other too much and I just can't live with the thought that I'm bringing you pain. I'm miserable. I need time to think, to breathe, to feel again. My heart hurts Will and I just don't know how to deal with this pain anymore. In my heart I know I still love you, but right now I just can't live with you.
I'll take the privilege of signing one last time,
Elizabeth Darcy
Posted on Wednesday, 7 June 2006
Three years later
"William Darcy."
"Mr. Darcy, this is Joan Phillips. I'm a nurse at Memorial Hospital in London."
"Oh hello, can I help you?"
"I'm calling in regards to Georgiana Lewis. We found your number in her purse. Are you her brother?"
"Yes I am. Is everything okay?"
"Mr. Darcy I'm sorry to inform you but your sister has been in an accident-"
"What? Is she alright?"
"Well she's in critical condition; she's lost a lot of blood. She will need multiple surgeries and they need a family member's consent."
"Have you contacted her husband, Brandon Lewis?"
"No sir, he was also involved in the accident."
"Oh my god ... is he alright?"
"Sir, the doctor thinks it would be best if you got to the hospital as soon as possible."
"I'm on my way," said Will as he slammed the phone down. He tried to take a few deep breaths to calm himself, but he was on edge. His sister, his one and only baby sister was hurt. He called his best friend Charles Bingley to drive him; he knew he was too upset to drive.
Half-hour later found Will, Charles, and his wife Jane speeding from Derbyshire towards the hospital in London.
"Will did the nurse give you any indication of what happened?"
"No Charles. She just said she was in critical condition and that I needed to get there as soon as possible. God ... Charles I can't lose her. She's been the only good thing in my life since-." Will stopped abruptly and turned to stare out the window. However, both Charles and Jane knew what Will's next words were going to be, since Elizabeth left me. Will hardly ever talked about it, not even to Charles.
Jane, who was sitting in the backseat, frowned and turned to stare at Charles through the rearview mirror. He gave her a sympathetic smile and then turned his eyes back to the road.
Jane shook her head as she watched the passing country side and thought about how Elizabeth loved Derbyshire. The rolling hills, the green grass, the beautiful summers...
Her mind turned back to the events that had taken place almost four years ago. Although she loved her sister, this was the one time in her life when she had ever felt truly disappointed in her. Elizabeth had walked away from Will and her marriage three years ago without ever truly trying to work out the things that happened between them.
Now, Jane hardly ever talked to her sister, usually just once or twice every three months and had not seen her since a week before she left Will. Elizabeth, after leaving her Aunt and Uncle's in London, had gone back to their parents' small plantation in Mississippi. Her life in Mississippi had only lasted a month before she realized that home wasn't really an option for her anymore. Her mother, Frances, constantly whined and complained that Elizabeth was ruining her life by running away from such a rich man as Will, and their father of course never thought to intervene. Finally, enough was enough and she had packed up again and moved to the West Coast.
In Jane's mind, she saw it as Elizabeth's way of getting as far away as possible from William. Jane last spoke with Elizabeth two months ago and their conversation had been brief and strained. Elizabeth had forbidden Jane from even mentioning William Darcy's name for three years. As Charles and Jane were constantly in company with Will, it was hard to find anything to talk to Elizabeth about without mentioning him in the process. However she could listen. Elizabeth tried to sound happy but Jane could tell her sister was still harboring a lot of pain and was refusing to deal with it. Jane could almost laugh at the hypocrisy of it all. Her sister was a Grief Counselor and yet refused to deal with her own grief.
It was hard for Jane to side with her sister on this matter because although Beth was her sister, and had earned the right of her undying loyalty, Jane truly felt her sister was wrong.
The pain and depression that had settled on Will's life as the weeks passed by without Elizabeth's return had weighed heavily on Jane. It hurt her to see such a dear friend with such an ache in his heart, and even harder when she knew the antidote but wasn't able to supply it.
She knew William would have forgiven her sister for leaving -- for anything, if she would have just come back. Jane had wanted to tell William to go to her but she felt that if he went Beth would just run again. Beth was stubborn and when she made up her mind about something it was almost impossible to change it. In her heart, Jane believed he knew where she was but could never bring himself to go to her, and after spending a six months calling and writing her everyday without any encouragement, he had just simply given up.
From their phone conversations, Jane had learned that Elizabeth had never opened any of the letters or emails and had deleted the phone messages before listening to them. Elizabeth hated to admit she was wrong and Jane knew she wouldn't be persuaded to come home, so she had just let her be.
Two hours later, the threesome pulled up to Memorial Hospital. Will had jumped out of the car before Charles even had a chance to park. After Will had fled from the car, he ran to the reception desk and nearly bit the receptionist's head off. However, Jane, recognizing Will's attitude decided to use a calm, polite approach to retrieve information about Georgiana.
"Excuse my friend here. He has learned his sister is in critical condition and is very worried. Could you please tell us where we can find Georgiana Darcy Lewis?"
"Yes miss, hold on a moment and it's quite alright." A moment later the woman reappeared, "Miss, she is currently in emergency surgery, so you will all have to wait here for news. We do need Mr. Darcy to fill out some forms for us. These are for Mrs. Lewis," the receptionist motioned to the papers in her right hand, "and these are for Mr. Lewis," she said motioning to the papers in her left hand.
Jane helped Will fill out the papers, while Charles had gone to get coffee. They were told that Georgiana's surgery would still take several hours to complete so the three of them sat and waited as hours ticked by with no word.
Will thought over the last three years and knew that he wouldn't have made it through those first horrible months of his separation from Elizabeth without his sister. She was invaluable to him, and he knew he couldn't bear to lose her. He was terrified as all the possibilities ran through his head. Georgiana was not his only concern; he was also worried about Brandon Lewis. Georgiana and he were the perfect couple, and had only been married for a little over five years. They had a two year old daughter named, Anne, and he was deeply worried about what would happen to her. He knew he would take care of Anne without question, but he just didn't know what to do. Finally, not being able to sit any longer, Will paced up and down the length of the waiting room.
He continued to pace oblivious to the outside world until he felt a touch upon his shoulder. Whirling about, he saw Jane, who was holding out a cup of coffee to him. He smiled gratefully and allowed her to lead him back to his seat.
"Will ... you need to stay calm. I know that's hard, but Georgiana is going to need your strength."
"Jane ... I'm so worried about her."
"I know ... we all are."
Will turned to look at Jane and his breath caught in his throat as he saw the unmistakable tenderness in her eyes. Although Jane and Elizabeth looked nothing alike; Jane was light where Elizabeth was dark. Yet sometimes, just a look or a smile would remind him so much her. At these times, he found it hard to look at Jane. So, he turned away from her. Jane squeezed his hand and allowed his mind to wander back into his thoughts.
Finally, a nurse told them Georgiana was out of surgery and Doctor King was requesting to see him in his office.
William, Jane, and Charles were led to a small meeting room off the fifth floor. The nurse who brought them there told them that someone would be with them momentarily. Will was not a patient man and spent the next five minutes constantly pacing the length of the room or sitting agitated in his seat incessantly tapping his finger on the table. Finally there was a knock on the door and a woman who looked like she was in her mid-fifties walked in. She extended her hand to the group and introduced herself.
"Hi I'm Hannah Jenkins from family services here at the hospital."
"William Darcy and these are my friends Charles and Jane Bingley. I don't mean to be rude but I thought we were meeting with the doctor."
"You will be, but Dr. King wanted me to speak to you first."
"Oh, right. How is my sister and why haven't we heard anything about her or Brandon."
"According to Dr. King your sister pulled through surgery and should make a full recovery. I am going to let him fill you in on the details of her recovery. However I do need to speak with you about Mr. Lewis and Anne."
"Anne? Anne was in accident? They are okay, right?"
She frowned sympathetically, "I'm afraid not."
"What? What happened?" asked Jane.
"As you now know, Mrs. Lewis was in a car crash with her husband and daughter." She paused here to let them to take the news slowly, "Unfortunately, Mr. Lewis and Anne did not survive."
Jane let out a gasp of agony and covered her mouth with her hand. Will had buried his face in his hands and let out an anguished, "No, please God, no."
Charles, although just as affected by the news as the others, decided it was his responsibility to question the woman.
"Please Mrs. Jenkins, please tell us what happened."
"Well from what the emergency team was able to gather it appears to have been a deer. Mr. Lewis made an attempt to swerve to miss it, however the car seems to have gone out of control and toppled over. Mr. Lewis did not appear to wearing a seatbelt, and was thrown from the car during the crash. The medical team did everything they could to save him however he died about an hour ago in the operating theatre. He had sustained too many severe injuries. Miss Lewis, because of her small size, appears to have died instantly. I am very sorry for your loss. If there is anything the hospital can do please let us know. When you are ready to see the doctor just let the nurse know."
Mrs. Jenkins decided the family needed some time alone and left them.
William Darcy had not felt so much pain since that horrendous day three years ago, and he cried for the first time since Elizabeth had left him. He thought his world had been quickly swept from beneath him and he was now too weak to attempt to get up again. He felt Jane embrace him and Charles put an arm on his shoulder, both trying to lend their support and love. Jane pulled back and looked him in the face.
"Will, it's going to be okay. We're all going to get her through this, she's strong."
William nodded hopelessly and the threesome sat in reverent silence letting themselves grieve and prepare for the battle they would soon have to face. Several minutes later Will took a few moments to collect himself, and then asked the nurse to get the doctor. He needed to know how his sister was faring.
Doctor King was an older gentleman looked like he was about 45 and had a slight grey tinge to his dark hair. His eyes sparkled with knowledge and wisdom. He had a warm countenance which spoke confidence and required respect. He asked them to sit down, and offered them refreshment which all three declined as all they wanted was news about Georgiana.
"Mr. Darcy, are you sure you would rather not have this conversation in private?"
"No Dr. King. Jane and Charles are like my family."
"Right then. First I would like to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. The surgical team did all they could for Mr. Lewis but we were just too late."
"Thank you. I do appreciate your concern, but right now I really would like to know about my sister."
And so Dr. King told them about Georgiana's perilous condition. She had suffered extensive injuries. She had a broken wrist, a sprained ankle, a gash in her abdomen, and a large cut on her forehead. The worst of her injuries were the three broken ribs, and the injury to several of her internal organs, resulting in severe internal bleeding. The first surgery had repaired much of the internal bleeding and her broken wrist but she would require at least three more surgeries to repair all of her damaged internal organs. She had also lost a substantial amount of blood, but they were currently giving her blood transfusions to help.
Dr. King said that he would keep them updated on Georgiana's condition and told them he believed that although her recuperation would be long and difficult, he believed she would eventually fully recover. He felt confident that she would recover fully with physiotherapy and would be able to function normally. He warned them that she would probably be unconscious for several days, possibly even weeks while her body worked to heal itself. Once the doctor was finished with his report, William asked if he could see his sister, and when the answer was affirmative he was immediately up out of his chair and down the hall to see her.
Posted on Tuesday, 13 June 2006
As he entered Georgiana's room, his eyes were immediately drawn to his beautiful baby sister. His anguish returned as he saw how helpless she looked. Connected to all sorts of machines and covered with bandages made her appear like a child. Because of the drugs she was sedated and sleeping peacefully. He went to her side and immediately took her hand.
"Ana, it's William. I'm here, Sweetheart, please you need to fight this. I need you, Ana. Please fight this for me."
Georgiana remained unconscious for the next two weeks, and during this time William hardly ever left her side. Charles and Jane had decided that one of them would try to remain with Will in London at all times although one of them needed to stay in Derbyshire with their two children, Isabella and Alexander.
After almost three nights of sleeping in the hospital, Charles had convinced William to go sleep in the condo he had rented. Jane had the impossible task of forcing Will to eat. Even with all of Charles' and Jane's persistence and care, William was hardly gone from the hospital for more than five hours a day.
Two weeks after the accident, Georgiana opened her eyes. It was bright, too bright. She tried to look around her but her head was throbbing, so she closed her eyes tightly. She wracked her memories trying to figure out where she was. The last thing she remembered was leaving the restaurant with Brandon and Anne. Finally, she tried to open her eyes again; however, this time she could see a little better. She realized she was in a hospital but was still confused as to how she had gotten there. As she looked around the room, she saw her brother sitting in a chair beside her bed asleep, his head resting on her mattress. She reached out slowly, as it still hurt to move, and rubbed his head fondly. She noticed how he looked around with confusion, but then he moved his gaze upon her and jumped up, excitement filling his eyes.
"Ana! Thank God!"
She attempted to smile, but it came out as a grimace because of the amount of pain she was in from all her injuries. She felt Will gingerly reach out and softly squeeze her hand.
"Do you remember what happened?"
She frowned, attempting to remember, but finally she just shook her head.
"You were in a car accident. You've been in a coma for the last two weeks."
She couldn't believe what he was telling her. How was that possible? She looked around the room, hoping to find Brandon, knowing that if she had been asleep for that long he would be somewhere near by. She looked at her brother and struggled to find the words she wanted to ask of him. Finally she managed in a rasping whisper, "Brandon?"
She heard Will sigh deeply before answering. "Dearest, Brandon and Anne were in the accident with you."
Her eyes widened slightly. No, they were all in the accident? She needed to find them. "Where are they?"
When he didn't answer immediately, she felt her heart sink into her stomach. She knew what his next words would be, but she didn't want to hear them.
"They didn't make it."
"No," she said in raspy whisper, "not true."
She had started shaking slightly and Will became concerned as she continuously muttered, "It's not true" over and over.
Will was frantic. He began to realize she was having a panic attack and called the nurse. Dr. King was sent for immediately and he came to examine his patient. As the doctor exited the room he looked grim but was ready to share his findings.
"Mr. Darcy."
"Dr. King, how is she?"
"She appears to be healing. Physically, I'm pleased with her progress but mentally and emotionally ... I am concerned because she will not speak to me. She didn't notice my presence and hasn't stopped muttering. I fear I am going to need to call in a psychiatrist to see her."
"Of course, call anyone you need to."
Later that day a psychiatrist came and examined Georgiana but his diagnosis was not optimistic. Dr. Brenton was a young man in his thirties with sandy brown hair and blue eyes. He seemed to be very kind and friendly. William had been dozing in the waiting room and was startled when he heard someone calling his name.
"Are you Mr. Darcy?" he asked.
"Yes, that's me," Darcy replied while shaking the older man's hand.
"I'm Dr. Brenton, the psychiatrist Dr. King wanted to examine Mrs. Lewis."
"Right, he mentioned that to me. How is she?"
"Unfortunately I am very concerned about her. She is much worse than I had anticipated. She has stopped muttering and is now completely silent and unresponsive. From the little information I have been able to gain from her my best diagnosis is post-traumatic stress disorder. This concerns me because Dr. King tells me that she is going to need at least two more surgeries. Her mental state concerns me because, in order for a patient to recover fully, they have to want to recover. I am also very worried that unless Georgiana feels like she has reason to fight, to live her recovery will be very long and hard for her. Right now Georgiana is lost in her mind, in her grief."
Will sat down and buried his face in his hands, "What can we do?"
"Well she will need extensive psychotherapy and use medications to help her cope. Counseling will probably be the best option once we can get her to start talking. I can help her; however I don't believe I'd be the right person."
"Why not?"
"Georgiana needs someone she can trust, someone who can get her to open up. I would recommend that you find a younger psychiatrist preferably a woman or someone who works with young adults. I think a young woman would be able to relate to Georgiana in a way I, or any other male cannot. I believe that bond will benefit your sister."
"Do you have any recommendations?"
"Several and I would be willing to compile a list for you."
"Thank you Doctor. I would appreciate that."
Several days later William was poring over a list of recommendations with Dr. Brenton, Dr. King, Jane, and Charles. However, Jane, Charles, and William couldn't come to an agreement about any of the choices. Finally, as they were taking a break, Jane spoke up, "William I know you're probably not going to want to hear this but what about Elizabeth?"
Will's mouth went dry. Neither Jane, nor Charles nor Georgiana had spoken directly to him about Elizabeth in years, so he was confused and angry as to why she might bring her up now.
"What?" he croaked out.
"Who's Elizabeth?" questioned Dr. Brenton.
"She ah...Elizabeth was my wife...we separated some time ago."
"Dr. Brenton," Jane began, "Elizabeth is also a children's Grief Counselor with a degree in psychiatry."
"Ah! Were Elizabeth and Georgiana close?"
Before Darcy could answer, Jane cut in again, "Yes they were. Georgiana actually introduced them to one another. Before everything happened they were best friends. And I think you should know--Elizabeth has also lost a child."
Dr. Brenton looked up at the ceiling for a moment and then back down to Jane "Do they still keep in contact?"
Darcy started shaking his head no, but Jane surprised him by answering, "Yes. Although naturally they are not as close as they once were, they still chat via phone and email from time to time."
"What? Why did no one tell me?"
"Will ... Georgiana thought it was best that you didn't know."
"How could she still talk to her? No, Georgiana would never keep in contact with her."
"Will..."
"Excuse me," said Dr. Brenton, "I don't mean to get involved in a family matter, and I know this may not be easy, but I feel that you should consider her, Mr. Darcy. If she really is Georgiana's friend that bond would help your sister. If they have a close relationship, that trust might enable Georgiana and may allow her to feel confident enough to open up. Especially if Elizabeth also knows the pain of losing a child; that kind of pain most people cannot even begin to understand. I think you should consider letting her be your sister's doctor."
"No, absolutely not! Elizabeth cannot come here. Not now! Not ever!"
The five sat in an uncomfortable silence for several moments before Jane looked towards the Doctors and asked in soft voice, "Would you mind giving us a moment?"
"Of course. If you need anything just let the nurse know."
"Thank you."
Once the Doctors had exited the room, Will immediately jumped up from his chair and paced across the length of the small conference room.
"Will-" Charles began.
"No! She cannot come here!"
"Will, stop!"
Will stopped mid-stride and looked at his friend with furious eyes.
"Will I don't like this plan anymore than you do, and I know what you would be sacrificing by letting her come here, but your sister is so much more important than anything you can object to. I love her as though she were my own sister, and although this hurts, Will, if Elizabeth can help her, we have to let her try. I won't watch her slip away. We've already lost Brandon and Anne; we can't lose your sister too."
Will sat down and rubbed his hand furiously up and down his face. Jane went over to him and put her hand on his shoulder "Will, do this for Georgie. Let Elizabeth come and at least see if she can help."
Groaning in anguish, he let Jane engulf him in her embrace, "I just ... I just don't want to have to deal with this."
Charles put his hand on Will's shoulder and forced him to look up at him, "Will none of us want to deal with this, but we have to. You need to ring her immediately."
"Me? Why don't you ring her?"
"Because this needs to come from you. She needs to know you would accept her coming."
The three were silent for several moments before Will shook his head furiously and then said, "I can't do this. I can't see her again."
"Darce, I know this is going to hurt like hell, but we'll be here for you, alright?"
Darcy shook his head forcefully again and brusquely told Jane and Charles he was going for a walk. He needed to clear his head.
As soon as the conference door shut behind Will, Jane turned to Charles and asked if he thought she was right in mentioning Elizabeth.
"I don't know, dearest."
"I know it was risky, but none of the other candidates were suitable and you know Elizabeth is wonderful at her job."
"Although I agree your sister is the best choice for Georgiana, this is going to kill him."
"I know it won't be easy for either of them to see each other again. I can't imagine bringing her back here, but what else can we do?"
"Do you think Elizabeth would even come?"
"I know it may not seem like it, but Elizabeth is fiercely loyal, and Georgiana was one of her best friends. Right now she's still licking her wounds and being unpardonably stubborn. If Will calls her, she may not like it, but she won't be able to refuse him."
"Well, then we need to find a way to convince Will that this is the best decision. Georgiana needs someone to help her through this, and if that person is Elizabeth then, well, as much as I hate it, we have to help him accept that."
"I agree; now how do we convince him ?"
When Will had left Dr. King's office, he immediately had made his way to the hospital courtyard. The air inside the hospital felt like it was suffocating him. The fresh air and a couple of deep breaths were exactly what he needed to clear his head. He was furious with Jane. What was she thinking? How could he possibly ask his...his estranged wife to come home and nurse his sister? And what was his sister thinking staying in contact with Elizabeth? Elizabeth had betrayed him; Georgiana knew that ... how could she ever forgive her? It was crazy, ridiculous. No! I will not consider this ... I can't do this. Will continued to pace up and down the courtyard shaking his head and muttering furiously. He let out a sigh of frustration.
Deep down he knew Elizabeth was the best person for the job and actually thought of her even before Jane had brought her up but he had never truly considered it as a viable option. How did they expect him to be able to ring her and ask for a favor after all that had happened? No, he couldn't do it ... he wouldn't.
After taking several, calming deep breaths, Will went back into the hospital and headed for his sister's room. Knocking at the door he hoped to hear Georgiana tell him to enter, but no sound was forthcoming. Her room was brightly filled with lilies, her favorite flowers, in all different colors. Will had wanted to make sure that even if she weren't aware of her surroundings, that she would be comfortable. Tears began to stream down his face as he looked at his sister. She was so helpless--completely unresponsive--so utterly lost in her own grief.
That look terrified him, because he had seen it in Elizabeth after she had lost the baby. Although she had healed, physically, that look was always there in her eyes. What scared him the most was that a year later she had left him. He knew that no matter how much he wanted to be able to help his sister, how much he understood grief, he did not know how to communicate with her.
He walked to the window and looked out at the bustle of London. It seemed strange to him that people still existed outside when his life had been consumed in this hospital for the last several weeks. He sat down in the chair facing Georgiana's bed, let out a deep breath, and leaned his head back against the wall. He stared at his beloved sister knowing what he needed to do, but failing to find the courage to do it. Getting up and pacing the room helped him strengthen his resolve and he noticed his sister watching him. He smiled at her and kissed her forehead before exiting the room.
As he reentered Dr. King's office, he saw Jane and Charles in deep conversation. He cleared his throat and looked at the expectant faces.
"Jane and Charles, I would like to apologize for earlier."
"Oh Will! It's not necessary. We both know this has you very stressed," said Jane reassuringly.
"That doesn't excuse my behavior, and I see the wisdom in your advice. I'll need your help because if Elizabeth comes here I know I can't deal with this alone."
"You won't have to Darce. Jane and I are here for you anytime."
Will nodded and took a deep breath, "Jane, do you know Elizabeth's number?"
"Well it's about 9 am in California. I would think it would be best to try to reach her at the office."
Will nodded again and pressed the send button. He gulped and took several deep breaths. The phone rang several times before he heard the other end pick up.
"Elizabeth Bennett's office how may I help you?"
Posted on : Saturday, 17 June 2006
Darcy took a deep breath before answering. "Yes, may I please speak to Elizabeth Bennet?"
"Yes, hold one moment please."
Darcy took another deep breath and let it out slowly.
"Sir, may I inquire who's calling?"
"Yes. It's William Darcy. Tell her it's an emergency."
"Yes sir."
Soft piano music floated into the speakers as he waited for Elizabeth. He seemed to be put on hold for hours when he heard that unmistakable southern accent, "Will?"
Darcy felt faint, however he took a deep breath and replied, "Yes. It's me."
The phone went silent as each tried to pull their thoughts together.
"Will, Charlotte said it was an emergency? Is everything okay?"
"I ... ah ... I," he fought to compose himself, "It's Ana."
"What? Is she okay?"
"She was in an accident. She'll live but ... I ... she needs you. Please come."
The phone again went silent until he heard a deep exhale from the other side of the phone, "Will, I ... just ... I don't know."
"Beth, please. I know it's asking a lot, but she needs you. You were her best friend. Beth, Brandon and Anne died in the accident. She just needs to see you."
"They died? God, Will. Brandon and Anne are dead?"
"Yes," he croaked.
Again he heard her take a deep breath before saying, "Okay, Will, I'll come. I'll take the first flight tomorrow. Give her a kiss for me."
Will hung up in disbelief. Elizabeth, his Elizabeth was coming home.
Elizabeth Bennet exhaled deeply as she hung up the phone. She leaned her head forward on her desk thinking about what she had just agreed to. She was going back to England, back to people and places she hadn't seen in three years.
It was the day after she left her home with Will and fled to her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner's. She heard the doorbell ring and knew it was him. When he entered, he looked like hell. His eyes were blood-shot, his face was very pale, and he hadn't shaved. She sighed and then heard his voice cracking pain, "We need to talk, Beth."
"I have nothing to say Will."
"Really?"
"Yes I said all I wanted to in the letter."
"So I don't get an explanation of why you left you me. I'm just supposed to sit back and accept it."
She hadn't wanted to give him reasons. She just wanted him to leave her alone. So she decided she would have to be cruel.
"Do you really need explanation? Are you that dense?"
"Maybe I am, but I won't leave until you explain. Please just tell me why?"
"Fine. You want to know why? Because, Will, these last several months have been horrible. Ever since I lost our baby, we've been drifting apart."
"Beth, if this about grief, I've been grieving to. You're not the only one, Beth. If you'd just let me help you. Beth, please come back with me. I need you just as much you need me.
"You need me? Really ... that's funny."
"What are you talking about?"
"Well for starters, I barely ever see you. We don't talk, you're always working, and you always seem to be leaving on business trips."
"Beth, the business trips are over now. I want to explain about all that. You see, Wickham-"
She interrupted him. "So you're claiming this has to do with Wickham? So every time we have relationship problems it's going to be Wickham's fault? No Will, this is about us-you and me-no one else."
"I know, but please let me explain about why I have been gone so much."
"I already know, Will, and it disgusts me. How could you?"
"What?"
She threw an envelope at him. He unfastened it and saw pictures of himself with another woman. They were eating, laughing, and in one he was embracing the woman. Then there were others of him standing outside the same woman's door with his shirt off.
"Beth ... this isn't ... I'm not. You actually believe me capable of this?"
"I didn't, but the pictures prove everything."
"So you had me followed?"
"No, actually those were sent to me! You know I can't believe I was so foolish. I thought I knew you, but I don't at all. You're selfish, rude, arrogant, and insulting-you're just the man I thought you were when we met. I was an idiot to ever believe that our love would be enough for you. I mean really, Will, did you need her to provide you with the heir I couldn't?"
Darcy was furious that she actually believed that, but nonetheless the statement hit him like a ton of bricks. He saw the anger and resentment in her eyes and realized that, no matter what he said, he couldn't change her mind.
"Well I'm sorry that I have sunk so low in your opinion. I'm not giving up, Beth. I love you. I will find a way to fix this."
Beth felt horrible for the words she said that day. She knew her words had been wrong and that she had cut him deeply. It had been a lot for him to open himself up to someone, and she had betrayed his trust and love, but she was hurt and so she lashed back. Yet, no matter how bad she felt, she could not bring herself to apologize when she still felt that he was the one who was in the wrong.
She heard Charlotte enter her office. "Beth? You okay?"
"Yeah," she croaked.
"Who was that?"
"My husband."
"Your ... husband ... but...what..."
"We're separated. Listen, Charlotte, I need you to book me the next flight to London."
"Whoa, wait! You're going to need to explain a few things to me."
"Charlotte not now ... " She rubbed her temple trying to brush away her oncoming headache.
"Yes, Beth, we need to talk about this right now. You're my best friend, and you don't tell me that you're married."
Beth sighed and motioned for Charlotte to sit down.
"Charlotte, it's complicated. We're still legally married, but that's only because I never had the guts to send him the divorce papers.
"So you still love him?"
"No ... I mean I don't know ... Why are you asking me that?"
"We'll you've been estranged from your husband for three years, have only gone on one date in that entire time, and have yet to divorce him. I'd say you'd have to care something about him."
"I do care about him. He was such a big part of my life for so long. You just can't forget someone like that."
"How did you meet?"
"What?"
"I want the full story of your courtship, your marriage, and your estrangement. I think I deserve it."
"It's a long story, Char." She mechanically shuffled the papers on her desk.
"And we have plenty of time; you have no more patients for the rest of the day."
Beth sighed. "Fine, you want the story of Elizabeth and William Darcy-here it goes."
"I met Georgiana Darcy when I was sixteen years old. I always wanted to travel and study abroad, so I decided to participate in an international summer camp. I worked all year at a job at the coffee shop in town and finally saved up enough money to go. So the summer before my junior year, I went with a group of twenty other teens on a travel tour of Italy. That summer I met Georgiana; and, even though she was two years younger than me, we became fast friends. We were roommates during the trip and were constantly spending all of our time together. After the summer ended, we stayed in contact, and the next summer we both went on a travel trip-to Greece this time. Because of my grades in high school and money set aside for college education, I applied for colleges abroad. I was accepted to Cambridge University. I immediately wrote to Georgiana to tell her that I would be moving to England. She was ecstatic and told me that her brother also attended Cambridge. During the summers she was constantly talking about her brother and had shown me pictures of him. Honestly, I've never seen a more beautiful man. So, when she told me her brother was at Cambridge and that she wanted us to meet, I'll admit I was really eager to meet this man she was always talking so highly about."
"The week I was supposed to go on a 'date' with him, Jane came to visit. I wanted to be a good hostess, so I took her to a party at a friend's dorm. Incidentally I met Will Darcy that night. You see the party was at Charles Bingley's dorm and he's Will's best friend. So Charles also met Jane that night and was instantly charmed."
"Wait ... wait ... Your sister and you both met your future husbands on the same night? That's so weird."
"You said you wanted to hear this story-stop interrupting."
"Sorry!"
"Anyway where was I? Oh right, the party. I instantly knew who he was and had planned to go introduce myself, but that's when I heard his ill-fated remark. Charles told him to ask me to dance and he told Charles that, although I was okay, he needed a prettier girl to tempt him to dance. Then he told Charles that he should be careful of Jane because he didn't want him to fall prey to a girl only after his money."
"No way! He said that? And he later asked you to marry him?"
"I told you to stop interrupting," she said as she threw a piece of crinkled paper at her friend.
"So I was angry and hurt that this guy I heard so many great things about turned out be a prick. However, I kept my promise to Georgiana and met him for lunch the next Saturday. He, of course, didn't remember me, so I planned on getting payback. Over the next several weeks I was thrown into Will's company constantly. I later learned he had been falling in love with me. So when he asked me to pursue a relationship with him, I threw it back in his face. However, Will is not a man to be deterred, and he apologized for being so rude that first night. He told me he had recently broken up with a girl who had only dated him for his money, and that he no longer felt I wasn't pretty-he told me I was beautiful. I didn't see him again until Georgiana came that next fall. We all hung out all the time, so Will and I sort of formed a friendship. I guess you could say we became best friends; and, although Will never pressured me to push our relationship to anything more than platonic, I began to want more myself.
So during my junior year of college, I knew I had to make a move. Finally, one day I got my wish because Georgiana mentioned that she thought her brother was still in love with me and that I just needed to encourage him a little. So the next thing I know I'm driving to his office. I barged in without even knocking. To say he was surprised would be an understatement; I went straight over to him, sat on his lap, and began kissing him."
Here she paused and Charlotte started laughing, "You just walked into his office and started making out with him?"
Elizabeth began to laugh at the memory, "Yeah I did. Hey, don't look at me like that. I was young and in love." She shook her head slightly. "Charlotte, he was so cute. He pulled away from me and looked at me with this adorable, puzzled expression. He asked me what I was doing, and I told him I couldn't help myself, that I wanted him. His face lit up with this smug smile that I, of course, had to kiss away."
Here Charlotte smiled. "Aw ... he was your first love."
Elizabeth smiled too. "Yeah, he was..."
"So what does this Mr. Dreamy look like?"
"Oh, gorgeous of course. I mean, honestly, I don't think I've ever seen a man quite so beautiful as him."
"And you let Mr. Dreamy go? What happened?"
"I don't know ... I mean after that day in the office we were together all the time and we married a little over a year later. I was only twenty-one at the time but he allowed me to continue with school and we were so happy. On his twenty-sixth birthday, two years after we got married, I told him I was pregnant. I was so excited. I had always wanted to be a mom, and Will loved children, so I was glad I could make him so happy." Elizabeth stopped and looked down at her lap.
"Beth? What happened?"
"I ... I ... was so stupid Charlotte. The doctors had told me I had a high-risk pregnancy and had warned me against putting too much stress on myself, but I didn't listen. I just kept telling them my patients were too important to toss aside; and, since I was going on an extended maternity leave, I would need to be there as much as I could until I gave birth. But all that stress finally got to me, and I went into pre-term labor. My little boy didn't make it, he was just too small." She heard Charlotte gasp but kept her eyes on her feet. "There were complications with the birth, and I can't have any more children."
"No ... I'm so sorry," Charlotte said reaching across the table and grasping Elizabeth's hand.
"Its fine. I don't really want to talk about it." She took a deep breath and continued, "Anyways back to the story; so after that we both drifted apart. He became consumed by work, and I was left alone to deal with my grief. I didn't allow him to comfort me; I pulled away from him. Less than a year later, his aunt sent me a letter telling me ... well basically she told me she knew I was never good enough for her nephew and that because of me the illustrious Darcy line would never be able to continue. She also wrote that he had found a proper woman to do the one thing I couldn't. She sent all that along with some pictures of him with another woman. I just couldn't deal with any more. So I left, he followed, we got into a huge argument, and we haven't spoken since."
"So he cheated on you?"
"I don't know. I mean in reality I know Will Darcy would never cheat on me, but at the time I felt like I had all the proof I needed. Listen, regardless of whether I believed it or not, I didn't trust him."
"And now he calls you out of the blue and you're just going to run back there?"
"Georgiana was in a car accident; he said she needs me."
"Beth, are you sure about this?"
"No, but I can't let her down. She's my friend and she needs me. Period. End of story. I have to go."
"Okay ... I'll book you a flight."
Posted on : Saturday, 17 June 2006
Elizabeth sat staring at the picture from the ski lodge for well over an hour, lost in her thoughts, wondering if she was doing the right thing. However it only took one look at the happiness written on Georgie's and Brandon's faces to realize how much her friend would need her.
She stared back down at the picture from the ski-lodge ... Had that only been five years ago? She remembered that day like it was yesterday. It was the day she had told Will she was pregnant.
Five years earlier on vacation in Switzerland
In Elizabeth's opinion Switzerland was a beautiful country. Will had brought the couples-Jane and Charles, Georgiana and Brandon, and themselves-to Klosters, Switzerland to stay in a beautiful chalet.
She sighed deeply and looked at the breathtaking scene around her. She had never seen so much natural beauty. As she looked out from the balcony of their room she could see the mountain covered with white powder. The Chalet itself was incredible. Will had spared no expense on this trip, and she could tell. She smiled as she looked up at the handsome building, thinking what a lovely place her husband had found for them.
The Chalet Eugenia was a four-story, tall, beautiful, wooden house, and the snow that covered the roof made it look like something from a travel book. She still was amazed it housed a staff of six; but, when you're the wife of William Darcy, things like this become more normal.
She felt warm hands slip around her, and she leaned into his muscular chest with a sign of contentment.
"Do you like it?" he asked, his voice no more than a whisper.
"Do I like it?" she replied as she slowly turned in his hands. "This place is amazing, Will. I'm glad we came here to celebrate your birthday."
"Me too," he said pulling his wife closer. "You know what I love most about our room?"
"No idea."
"It's the only one on this side of the Chalet. I purposely placed Jane and Georgiana on the other side, so we would be entirely secluded."
She raised an eyebrow at him. "Really? Whatever for?"
"I could probably think of a few things," he said as he leaned down to kiss her.
She indulged him for a few minutes before pulling away. She laughed at the petulant expression on his face.
"Later Will ... we have to get ready for dinner."
"Let's just forget dinner and stay here," he said pulling her back towards himself and kissing her again.
"Will ... (kiss) please (kiss) we (kiss) are (kiss) hosting our friends (kiss)."
She heard him sigh reluctantly and released her. She smiled, knowing that they would have even more to celebrate later.
That evening after every one had retired, Will and Beth sat on the window seat looking out at the beautiful night sky. Will had been telling her about the different constellations, but she wasn't listening. She kept imagining what it would be like when they were a family, what his expression would look like when she finally told him. She was so happy she could have almost burst.
"Elizabeth, although these are interesting stories I would not think they bring such an expression of happiness to your face. Please tell me what has made you so happy?"
"I ... I ... cannot tell."
"Why not?"
"Because it is your birthday gift, and your birthday is tomorrow."
"Wrong. My birthday is today. It's 12:10. Please tell me..."
Elizabeth knew she had to tell him. The expression on his face was just too adorable; she couldn't wait any longer.
"You know I went to see the doctor a couple days ago."
"Yes ... you are all right aren't you? This is a gift?"
"The most extraordinary gift I could ever give you."
He looked at her still puzzled. "Elizabeth, I'm not very good at guessing."
"One second," she said as she climbed off the seat and went towards the closet. She found the package she was looking for and on her way back sat it in his lap.
"What this?"
"Open it. It's a clue."
"A clue?" he asked as he carefully unwrapped the package. When he had it opened he looked at the tiny shoes and then looked back up at his wife sharply.
"Does this mean?"
Elizabeth nodded, tears of joy rolling down her face.
"I'm going to be a father?"
"Yes! We're going to have a baby!"
Will was so overjoyed he picked her up and twirled her around the bedroom. Both of them were laughing, crying, and grinning stupidly.
Yes, that day in Switzerland had been wonderful, perfect bliss. If only they had known the darkness that loomed on the horizon.
Sighing sadly, Elizabeth placed the picture back in her bottom drawer. She wished she could find that kind of happiness again, but she felt that maybe the kind of happiness they had that day only came once in a lifetime.
Elizabeth was driving through the streets of San Diego thinking about how much her life had changed over the last three years. San Diego at sunset was amazing; and, although she liked the city life, it was nothing to the one in Derbyshire. She remembered sitting out in the back garden just watching the sun slowly sink down behind the trees.
Her condo was not grand, but it was comfortable. Since Elizabeth had never legally divorced William, she had received no money when they separated; and, because her family was not well off when she had gone back to them, they didn't have much to offer her. However, she had always been her father's favorite daughter, and he had wanted to do something to help. So he cashed in the bonds he had been saving for his retirement and gave them to Elizabeth. At first she hadn't accepted his offer; but eventually, when home life became too taxing, she had taken the money he offered with a promise to pay him back eventually with interest. When she left her parents home in Mississippi, she hadn't known where to go. Besides England, she had never lived anywhere else.
It had felt so strange to live without Will because all of her adult life had been spent with him. She felt as though a piece of herself was missing without him. She had fallen in love with him when she was nineteen and had never lived on her own, never truly been in a relationship with anyone else, never been in love with anyone else, and Will had been the first and only man to ever make love to her.
People had tried to warn her she was too young to get married, but she had brushed them off, thinking they knew nothing about the type of love she had for Will. But four years later as she packed her bags, she realized they had been right. She had been too young, too naïve, and too love-struck to realize the magnitude of the commitment she had made.
Elizabeth had never been prone to failure and had never allowed herself to fail at anything. In her mind her first real failure came at the age of twenty-four when she had lost her little boy. She put all the blame upon her own shoulders, even though Will had tried to tell her it wasn't her fault. She knew she had failed herself, Will, and most of all her little boy. The grief of losing her child and the pain of realizing her own limitations had caused a change in her.
When she had seen her marriage crumbling around her, she just gave up. She had lost the will to fight. The week before she had left Will, she came to the realization that she had lost herself in her grief. When she looked in the mirror, she no longer recognized the girl staring back at her; she no longer saw Elizabeth Darcy or even Elizabeth Bennet. Her pain had turned her into a completely different individual, one who numbed every feeling and shut out every person.
When the pictures of Will with that woman had shown up on her doorstep, she had felt betrayed and saddened. Not because she believed Will would ever cheat on her, but because that he could still laugh and smile when she could feel nothing. She started feeling resentment towards his ability to grieve and move on. As she had looked at the pictures, she finally understood the great chasm that was now between them. She knew the only way to bridge that gap would be to let him in-to trust him with everything she was. But Elizabeth couldn't do it. So she had left because she knew that until she found herself, she couldn't be with Will.
When Will had come after her, she had been furious because just seeing him so pained had made her want to quit her resolve and throw herself back into his arms. So she put up a shield of cruelty to protect herself and threw all her hurt feelings back in his face.
The day she moved to San Diego she had stood on the beach with her toes in the water and pledged to herself that she would never cause another person such pain again. So when Will had started emailing her and calling her, she had tried to ignore it and just deleted them. Then a month later, her father sent her a bundle of letters. Will had sent them to her father's house, knowing that they would somehow reach her.
Elizabeth had acted impulsively when she had first seen the letters. She picked up her phone to call him and tell him she still loved him. However, as soon as she had heard his voice she had hung up, remembering her pledge. She still wasn't ready to trust him-to trust anyone. She had tried to burn the letters, but she couldn't, so she had simply stuck them in a box and put them in the attic. Elizabeth believed that if she refused to deal with a problem, it would eventually go away; and, when his letters, emails, and phone calls stopped coming, she sadly realized that Will had finally given up.
That night as she lay in bed, she tried to think of anything but him. She wasn't sure how she would feel once she saw him again. Her life had changed so much over the last three years. In her mind she thought that even if she still wanted to try to make things work again it wouldn't matter because he probably hated her. And to be honest she couldn't blame him because she hated herself for hurting him. Although she still cared about him she wasn't sure if it was love. She wasn't sure if they could overcome all the obstacles that had been put before them, and she wasn't even sure if there relationship was worth fixing now.
Wiping her damp cheeks with the back of her hand she tried not to think of Will and the mistakes she had made. Instead she tried to focus on Georgiana, but somehow, every time she closed her eyes, he was there.