Chapter 1

Posted on Thursday, 23 March 2006

Looking around I see all the happy couples that dotted the park as the sun persisted in its nightly decent. I hate it all: the clasped hands, jubilant smiles, knowing winks, whispered comments, and the coy glances that come with it all. A particularly perky couple sits beside me and has now been at it for fifteen minutes. Can't people keep it behind closed doors like they're supposed to? Letting out a huff, I stand up, as the couple gets even closer. I blame the bloody telly for all the public display that I'm constantly seeing as of late. Really, this is a respected London park, not some Technicolor world where four play in public is looked upon as the height of fashion. I don't begrudge them their happiness; I just begrudge them the fact that they have someone.

My name is William Darcy; I am 30 years old with a hefty bank account and a multi-million dollar international company. I have traveled all over this world for both business and pleasure, have seen things that most people would give their lives to, and have been in company with some of the most known and powerful people in this day and age. Yet, I am the most depressed, brooding, and recluse of a man I've ever had the misfortune to know. And as I think of it now, while walking down a neatly manicured path, I realize that it's actually quite pitiable when one thinks of oneself as such.

You may ask yourself, why would a man who has lived in the world as I have, who has women jumping over each other to get to him, and who has basically the world at his fingertips, could be so miserable? Well it's very good of you to ask such a question, and I can answer your generous query with one small word. Anne. Anne Fitzwilliam-nee De Bourgh-is the woman who I love above all else, and who consequently dumped me after 10 years for my younger cousin Richard Fitzwilliam. They now live abroad, as Richard is an active Colonel in the air force, with a beautiful little girl named Sarah.

Flashbacks of my life with Anne are constantly playing in my head. God I hate spring; it was her favorite season. New love blossoming as a flower does in the morning light, fresh and beautiful. Happy couples are all around, and for the life of me, I can't get this disgusting bile taste that is rising in my throat to go away. I miss her so much that it's almost suffocating. Thoughts of what-ifs do enter my mind; what if she had stayed with me, what if Richard breaks her heart and she sees what a huge mistake she made and comes back to me, what if...But then I get a hold of myself and switch my brain to reality, because I don't want to torture my heart with such sweet fantasies. I turn around, and head up the winding path to the exit of the park, still lost in thought. An all-consuming sense of loneliness creeps in, and my heart breaks with the notion that Anne would never be mine, not again at least, and not in the way I want her. I have to stop and lean against the trunk of a thick oak tree. I don't understand; why am I so lonely all of a sudden? Sure I've been lonely these past eight years, but not to the point of not wanting to continue with my life. I look to the receding sun; I have two options, either get over Anne and go on with life, or stay in this limbo that I've been in for some time. From where I stand both roads seem to be filled with emptiness.

God, I need a friend. Oh wait Darcy you've purposely distanced yourself from all of your true friends and they now want nothing to do with you. Looking up with my eyes closed, I silently pray to the Lord for something to come into my life, something to make me smile again. Dropping my head I sigh loudly and stand up straight. Having a nervous breakdown in the middle of a park is not something I want to be known for, and as cold sweat starts trickling down my back, I hurry through the iron gates and to the safety of my car, where I speed all the way back to my town house. Chapter 2

Posted on Saturday, 25 March 2006

It's the week after my little incident in the park. I am now sitting at my large mahogany desk in my office, staring into a blank void. I should be working, signing important documents, talking with staff, holding meetings, or any other manner of things that a CEO of a large corporation should be doing on a Tuesday afternoon. Instead, I find myself instead idling my time, by wobbling a pencil between my thumb and index finger to make it look like it is made of rubber. (A trick my sister Georgie had taught me after her first summer away at camp) As you've guessed, I'm utterly bored.

The feeling of such power as I hold in my company is intoxicating to say the least. I used to come in at the break of dawn, work nonstop throughout the day, and not leave until well after a respectable time. Adrenalin filled veins thrumming through my body was the result of the daily challenges that faced me, and all the excitement had me in an inferno. Lately though, the fire has dwindled, almost to the point of ashes. I really don't understand it. Perhaps I'm going through a phase. Yes, that's it. I'm in an odd point in my life. Everyone goes through it, don't they? It's part of life, the grand scheme....

"Mr. Darcy!" A shout from my secretary at my office door startled me from my reverie, causing the pencil I had my eye trained on to fly out of my hands, landing a few feet away from my leather chair. I watched as she moved into the room, shutting the door behind her.

"Janet, you scared the hell out of me!" I glared at her. In her usual way, she chose to totally ignore it, and instead sat down in a chair in front of my desk. "Have a seat won't you?" I asked dryly.

"Don't mind if I do," she replied, smiling at me. Janet Reynolds has been my secretary for 10 years now, the best thing I ever acquired in business. She's my age, only a few months older, and a wonderful woman to work with. With stunning good looks and a great personality, I have often wondered why it is that Janet has yet to marry. She's an intelligent human being with a compassionate heart. Janet has definitely been the person who has kept me on my toes. We've known each other for quite sometime, going back so far as to when we were in diapers. As such, she knows me quite well, including my moods. As I sit here watching her watching me with a raised eyebrow, I realize I'm in for one of her "chats" that she freely gives to me any time she wishes to. A strange look in her eyes tells me that I'm in for quite a lecture.

"Out with it already." I commanded, as she sat quietly in front of me.

"Your housekeeper just called from Pemberly." She started. With a furrowed brow, I asked her why Mrs. Reynolds would call here while I'm at work. "Well, aside from her calling to have a chat with me, her daughter, she had something to request of you." She stopped adding suspense. Rolling my eyes I told her to get on with her story; I didn't have all day. "Mum wants you to come to Pemberly and I told her you would; today." Leaning on my desk I asked her what in the devil had given her any idea that I wanted to go. Really, I haven't been to Pemberly in an age, which should tell them something.

Standing up, Janet held out her hand to me. Reluctantly, I took hold of it and let her lead me to the black leather love seat that I had in my office. She still had a hold of my hand after we both sat down, and gripped it tightly to get my attention. Once our gazes locked, I finally noticed the soft look in her eyes that Janet Reynolds hardly ever had.

"I'm worried about you, you know." She started, not wanting to get into deep meaningful conversation I tried to deflect by saying,

"I can't imagine why. I'm perfectly healthy." I managed a weak smile, but it deflated on seeing that she didn't believe me for a second.

"Will, it's me Janet your friend, not Janet your secretary." Running her fingers along my knuckles she sighed. "You've been so unhappy, not just lately, but for a while now. I'm pretty sure on why that is, but knowing that this is a tender subject, I'll stop digressing and just get to the point. For the past month, I've been watching you go from the top businessman that created all this," (here she waved her free hand around my office for emphasis), "to a complete slacker." Too shocked at what she is saying, and knowing it was too true, I just turned my face and stared at my university diploma that hung on the opposite wall. "It scares me a bit, because you're a brilliant man Will. You should be doing brilliant things, not staring at pencils like it's a new form of art. That's why when Mum just called I told her that I'd get you to come down, for her not to worry. Then, I canceled all your appointments, not that there were many." She looked at me pointedly at her last comment. "Now, all you have to do is go your merry way on to Pemberly where Mum will be sure to stuff you with ginger snaps and hot cocoa." The thought of my preferred snack at childhood does bring a warmth ness to me, and I find an inexplicable yearning for the ancient house.

"Maybe I shall go." Putting on a depreciating smile I say, "It's not like I do much here anyway. I'm just a solid mass of uselessness." Saying it in jest, I didn't understand the serious look that came in to Janet's face.

"Oh no Will, you're not useless, far from it in fact. After all how far could this company have gone without the name Darcy attached to it? No, you're quite helpful." Instead of laughing at her joke like I thought she would have, she looked down, and her hand began to fidget with my cuff. She acted as if she had something on her mind, and it took quite a bit of cajoling on my part to get what she wanted to say out. She looked a bit shy when she started, "I know I'm probably the last person you'd want advice from..." I cut her off before she could finish.

"You're my friend Janet, about the only friend I have really. I value your friendship and as such, value your advice. What is it?"

"I think you should go out on a date. Before you say anything, just hear me out." She covered my mouth with both her hands as she saw I was going to speak. Keeping her hands in place I listened as she imparted to me her sage advice. "I'm not setting you up or anything like that, God knows that the last time I did things went terribly wrong, but I am suggesting you go out. Find a nice girl, which you can connect with, and even if it's not exactly in a romantic sense at least you're doing something. You owe it to yourself, Will." Looking down at her, I notice that she's being serious, so instead of making a dry remark I nod my head.

"Maybe you're right..." She stopped me by exclaiming, "The sweetest words I've ever heard!" Rolling my eyes, I stand up and pat her on the shoulder.

"I'm not promising anything, but I will keep an open mind to it. Now if you'll excuse me, it seems I have an impromptu trip to the country to make." Slipping on my jacket I opened the door, and turning around gave her a nod of thanks. "I'll see you when I see you, Janet."

Walking out into the outer offices, I heard her call from behind me, "And if you have any sense at all, and actually want to keep your balls intact, I suggest that you don't see me until at the very least next week!" Shaking my head, I keep walking, noticing the looks workers that had heard her comment, gave me. None of them mattered however, I was going to Pemberely. My home.