Chapter I Posted on Thursday, 29 December 2005
"We will drop you off at the house, sister, but Ambrose and I shall go on the Saint John's," Louisa said sharply. "I do not intend to miss one the their dos because you are out of sorts.
"Eliza is Mrs. Darcy and you had better resign yourself to the fact and get on with your life. Hiding yourself from friends and those who only pretend to be will only make things worse. You would be better to start looking for a husband for yourself instead of pining because Darcy married Eliza Bennet."
Caroline sat back in the carriage gnashing her teeth, even her sister was against her. "What am I to do now if Louisa were to turn to Jane instead of her. She had noticed a closeness forming between them and she did not like it at all. If Jane Bennet had not set her trap for Charles she would not be here now having to listen to the gloating of old adversaries.
"I would like to show them, she thought I would like to show them all, but what can I do."
As she took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh a statement by Louisa earlier crossed her mind. "There are plenty of men who have shown an interest in you in the past but you refused to even consider any of them, in the hope that Darcy would ask for your hand. Even his cousin Sir James Fitzwilliam, Earl of Hampton paid a great deal of attention to you after we arrived in town from Netherfield last year."
"I really don't know why though. You treated him much as Eliza treated Mr. Darcy when we were at Netherfield. You were as downright uncivil to him at times as she was to his cousin."
A sly smile crossed Caroline's face.
"Of course," she thought, "Lady Hampton how well that sounds. If I become Lady Hampton the Darcy's will always be below me. I will be seated above them at dinners. They would have to wait for me to precede them into a room. I wonder how Darcy will like that.
"I will show them, I will show them all. I will never be Caroline Bingley, daughter of the carriage maker again. I will be a member of the aristocracy. None of them will ever be able to look down their noses at me again. My daughter will be born a Lady.
"Yes, indeed I will show all of them," she gave a soft chuckle.
"I have changed my mind Mr. Hurst," she smiled, "I shall go to the party. After all we know how well her Ladyship entertains, I would not wish to ruin your enjoyment of the wonderful food and drink which will be served."
Louisa looked toward her sister in the dark of the carriage. What was Caroline up to now, what did the chuckle mean.
At the St John's Lizzy and Darcy and Jane and Charles were happy to see that the Knightleys and the Brandons were there as well as Mrs. Brandon's sister Mrs. Ferrars. Lizzy especially liked Mrs. Ferrars, as Mr. Darcy said, she is such a sensible woman. Though they had only a clergyman's income they were on of the happiest couples she had met through Mr. Darcy.
She liked Emma too, and especially her husband, who Lizzie thought had the most wonderful smile. Jane and Mrs. Brandon had become acquaintances and soon were chatting away like old friends.
Elizabeth found Colonel Brandon a wonderful man and his devotion to his beautiful young wife was a pleasure to watch. She was glad they had left the theater before the second act was over. Darcy and the Bingleys had agreed that the play was dreadful and all of them wanted to leave and go to the St Johns so that they could have some good conversation before it became too crowded.
Lady Sophia was well known as a hostess and her dos always drew most of the ton. She was delighted to see them and as always made them feel welcome. It would seem that the few couples Lizzy and Darcy liked best thought as they did and did not care to see the whole play. The small group consisting of Lord and Lady St John, Lord and Lady Matlock, Colonel Fitzwilliam, Sir James Hampton, the Brandons, Ferrars, Knightleys, Bingleys, and the Darcys engaged in lively conversation and a great deal of laughter before the rest of the guests started to arrive.
Darcy leaned over Lizzie to whisper that he did not want to stay long when he saw the Hurst's and Miss Bingley come through the door.
She gave him a sassy smile and answered, "Why ever should you want to leave my love, some of your oldest friends have just arrived."
Caroline scanned the room skillfully, "So, she said to Louisa. Our brother and the Darcys are here already. I see they are with the common folk."
"Common," Louisa, inquired.
"Yes, common," her sister replied. "I do not care for the Knightleys. He always seems to be disapproving of me and Mrs. Knightley - she seems to think herself too far above us. I really don't understand a man like Colonel Brandon marrying a girl young enough to be his daughter. Another man with wealth and position who has fallen under the spell of a nobody, with out money or position."
She had espied Lord Hampton too but she made a concerted effort not to let him know she did. "Don't make any mistakes now, Caro," she thought. "You must keep treating him with disdain for a time if you are to secure him. He is like his cousin, he is bored with all the women who fawn over him. "
"Let the game begin, Miss Bingley, soon to be Lady Hampton," she chuckled softly to herself.
Chapter II Posted on Tuesday, 24 January 2006
Caroline smiled at her image in the mirror. It had been over a year since the night she decided that she would marry Sir James Fitzwilliam, Earl of Hampton. Things were going just as she planned. She remembered how Elizabeth Bennet had trapped her one true love, Mr. Darcy. Like Miss Bennet she was seemingly indifferent to his lordship, keeping him guessing all the while she played her game.
"You were wrong Mama," she thought, "all men do not want a woman who fauns over them and grants their every wish. Who never bests them at anything. As a matter of fact most men want what they think they can't have, Mama," she giggled softly.
She had sometimes danced with his lordship and sometimes refused him. She played her best at the card table when he was an opponent. She made witty conversation with her partner while rejoicing in their success. She particularly recalled one evening at the Carter's when her partner had been Mr. Boheim; (A young man whose family had immense wealth form mining in Wales.) Sir James had made a remark about how her skill had improved since his cousin Darcy was taken.
"Perhaps it is because of the skill of my partner," she replied, smiling sweetly at Mr. Boheim." I seem to recall having you for a partner then."
How she had wanted to laugh at the look which crossed his face at her words, but she kept her expression as innocent as a child. She laughed aloud at the memory.
She had really enjoyed these months, flirting and dancing with the young bucks of the ton, while her intended (though he didn't know it) seethed and scowled. She went to the opera with Lord Wartborg, to the theater with Lord Jesse, walking in the park with half dozen others, while keeping Lord Fitzwilliam interested with crumbs.
She knew that nine out of ten of them were only interested in her fortune to save their estates while they continued to play and lose at the gaming tables. She was not about to marry a gambler, but all of them were too full of themselves to realize that she was only playing with them.
The last month though his Grace Lord Tyson, Duke of Insurp had been paying her a great deal of attention. Though she knew that he was at least 50 he was still a duke and if she could snare him in her web she would jump at the chance to marry him. He was looking for a wife after all these years of cavorting and going from woman to woman he decided it was time for him to marry and produce and heir.
Her Grace Duchess of Insurp, she smiled widely.
How good that sounded. If she could accomplish this coup they would all be beneath her and would have to wait for her to enter a room and sit below her at the table. All of the ladies, Lady Matlock, Lady St John, Lady Jersey. All of those who had tolerated her all these years. How she would enjoy that.
Lord Fitzwilliam had been in Scotland at Darcy's hunting lodge for the past six weeks and now his Grace had gone to Bath. She was bored silly with most of her courtiers gone to Bath as His grace. She refused to go to the park with cousin Pearl. The last person she wanted to be seen with by society if she could avoid it was her plain cousin form Stratford.
Louisa was with child and could not go about with her. She thought it was very thoughtless of her sister to get pregnant when she needed her most. "How typical of Louisa," she thought, selfish as always, never a thought to anyone but herself."
Both of the Hursts were beside themselves with joy. Mr. Hurst even spent more time at home and less at his club and drank very little anymore. Neither of them seemed to give a thought to her. Since she could not stand the sight of her sisters growing body and Hurst being always underfoot she decide to take a trip to Derbyshire to visit Charles and Jane and get a good look at the new house they had bought close to Pemberley.
"Pemberley, Pemberley," she sighed, "I should be the Mistress of that beautiful estate, but Eliza Bennet was there in the place she should be."
Jane had written to tell them that they were to go to Pemberley on the first of the month to spend some time with the Darcys. They were to have a few small dinner parties to help Jane and Charles become better acquainted with the neighbors. If she left on the morrow she could arrive at Willows before they left and they would have no option but to take her along.
She had not been to Derbyshire since the marriage of Eliza and Mr. Darcy and she was looking forward to seeing what a shambles it must be in with such a mistress. Lord Hampton would be there too. She would enjoy playing her game with him. She needed some excitement in her life. Cousin Pearl who had come to be her chaperone when Louisa became unable to go anywhere was a dull as dust and the promise of a houseful of guests at Pemberley sounded like just what she needed. She never dreamed that anything could be going on in the north that would have an effect on her future.
James was angry at his cousin Darcy as he had never been before. While they were in Scotland Darcy had warned him against marriage to Caroline Bingley, the words still rang in his ears.
"I have known the woman for ten years," he said, "she in incapable of loving anyone but herself. She is selfish and self centered. She will make your life a nightmare."
"Perhaps, Darcy you would like to see her pine for you for the rest of her life. What a boost that would be to the Darcy pride, a woman going on into old age crying for Fitzwilliam Darcy.
"You don't know her as I do, I know that she can come to love me, perhaps even more than she loved you."
"She never loved me," Darcy snorted, "she wanted to be Mistress of Pemberley. She wants you for your title. Believe me cousin, I know whereof of speak. She is a younger version of our aunt Lady Catherine."
Chapter III Posted on Sunday, 12 March 2006
Caroline headed for the breakfast room. She to meet James there and had been invited to go for a stroll in the gardens after they had eaten. It had become a ritual for them and she found herself enjoying it, even looking forward to it.
At first she had missed town but, as James pointed out everyone was gone either to their estates or to Bath. His grace had gone to Bath and she had been informed that Lady De Bourgh and her daughter were there too.
"No doubt looking for a husband for her sickly Anne," she thought. "I shall enjoy hearing from his Grace about the hunt for a suitable husband for Lady Anne De Bourgh."
She had thought to hear from the Duke after his arrival, but not a word had arrived. As she walked into the room she met Mrs. Reynolds leaving and saw Lady Matlock and The Countess of Bakford speaking to Mr. Darcy.
It was the opportunity she had been waiting for. She would show Darcy what a fool he was to have married Elizabeth Bennet.
"Mrs. Reynolds," she cooed, "what a jewel you are. I cannot remember how many times Mr. Darcy has sung your praises to me. How trying the past months must have been for you. Your dear Master marrying a country bumpkin with no knowledge of how to run even a small estate such as Longbourn with so few servants, being imposed upon you.
"Why I would imagine that even now she knows less than half to servants names or their positions, and the burden of such a gathering as this of course falls on your shoulders. I am surprised at Mr. Darcy allowing her to invite such a large gathering with her lack of skills.
"Why even I, who have been coming here for all this time don't know most of their names, so I can imagine how it much be for a country girl to get on."
Mrs. Reynolds drew herself up and glared at Miss Bingley before replying coldly, "The Mistress knew the names of everyone and their places before she arrived at Pemberley, all she had to do was see their faces once and she knew them all.
"My mistress has a remarkable memory, she has to be told only once and she knows from then on. Not only does she know the servants but the tenants and their families, the townspeople and the tradesmen. She is a young woman wise beyond her years, she knows the value of a good and faithful servant and treats them with kindness and respect.
"She is the daughter of a country gentleman and she knows that she must be well acquainted with the tenants and all other who are dependent upon the good graces of the Mistress of the Manor. She may be young but she was well trained by her grandmother in the management of a household."
Caroline felt herself losing what she thought was her advantage, smiling at those in the room she laughed, "Is she not a jewel, such loyalty, as I have said before Mrs. Darcy is fortunate indeed to have such a housekeeper."
Mrs. Reynolds fled the room. "I must get away from that woman before I lose my temper and embarrass my master," she thought as she hurried down the hall.
Darcy glared at Caroline, but before he could speak her grace said icily. "Mrs. Reynolds is quite right Mrs. Darcy does have a remarkable memory, why she even knows the names of my servants."
"Really, your grace," Lady Matlock smiled, "I was amazed at her remembering the names of mine too.
"But then, she was raised on an estate so she would know the value of a fine staff of people who have been with the family through the generations. It is only the tradesmen who do not value their servants and so are continually looking for new ones."
Caroline was red faced with humiliation and anger as she sat down beside Sir James.
"Well sir," she said, "You not have a reprimand for me too."
"I think that all has been said," he replied looking at her coolly before watching his cousin Darcy stalk from the room.
"Does this mean we will not be going for our walk this morning," she cooed, looking at him under her lashes."
"As much as I have enjoyed these last few days, I think I shall ride with Darcy this morning," he replied rising and laying his napkin on the table. "You go too far, Miss Bingley her grace said sharply, a lady of quality does not try to embarrass her host or hostess."
Caroline threw her napkin at the table and knocking her chair over in her anger she stormed from the room.
"I'm sorry dear Georgiana that you had to be here at this time," Lady Matlock kissed the top of her niece's head.
"I don't understand what Miss Bingley feels such hated for Lizzie," Georgiana said, "Lizzie has been nothing but kind to her and she still abuses her.
"Dear Georgie, did you not know that she planned to wed your brother, laughed her ladyship. When they went to Hertfordshire two years ago she told half the town that she expected to return engaged to your brother. She was so sure that that was why Darcy accepted Mr. Bingley's invitation. She really thought he wanted to have that time with her to make all the arrangements. Of course she never dreamed that he would meet Elizabeth. It has been a great blow to her pride and she wants the Darcy's to pay the price.
"I worry about all the time James has been spending with her. I do hope the boy doesn't do anything foolish, like asking for her hand. I would like to speak to him about it but he is so stubborn, just like his father was. If I say anything I fear he will only be more determined to have her."
As Caroline came down the stairs to go for her walk she heard someone crying, "Mr. Darcy, Mr. Darcy, please sir I must speak to you."
She saw a rotund man who looked like a tradesman run to Mr. Darcy in front of the door.
"Mr. Darcy," he gasped, "I must protest, I told Mrs. Darcy that I would get the rest of her order in a day or two but she told me that Mr. Bater in Kympton would deliver them today and she sent Walters to tell him to finish the order."
"This must not be tolerated, the Hends have been greengrocer to Pemberley for 100 years. You cannot let a usurper replace me."
"It seems to me that you have had to same excuse the last two times we have had guests and asked for your services. You have delivered them, but at a considerably higher price than first quoted," Darcy replied.
"But that is the fault of my supplier," Mr. Hends whimpered, wringing his hands.
"Your father never had any problems with his supplier nor does Mr. Bater, it would seem," Darcy walked around him and out the door, "I would suggest you find out who is his supplier. You will have to take these matters up with Mrs. Darcy or Mrs. Reynolds, it is up to them."
So, Caroline looked down her nose at Mrs. Reynolds who had come to see what all the wailing was about, Mrs. Darcy has managed to alienate a long time greengrocer to Pemberley, how ungracious of her not to give the man the time he needs to bring the supplies.
"He has tried this before and charged a much higher price for what he brings, Mrs. Reynolds smiled. I applaud Mrs. Darcy, she has sent the word out that she may be young and inexperienced but she will tolerate no cheating."
As Caroline turned to go out the door she saw James there looking at her in disgust.
"Miss Bingley, jealousy is not attractive in anyone, he said II would suggest you try to curb your acid tongue before you are asked to leave Pemberley."
Caroline swept past him and out the door, "Curb my acid tongue, she thought, how dare he."
She stomped her foot in anger and hurried into the garden where a page found her to give her an express that had arrived for her.
It was from the Duke.
Dear Miss Bingley, he wrote, I must beg you to come to town in all haste. I have looked at a house for us and only need your approval and your signature on some papers and we can plan a future.I will need 5000 pounds to clear up some glaring debts, I am sure you will have no qualms about giving it to me when you hear what I propose.
I await your reply with baited breath,
Yours truly
Your loving Duke
Caroline was elated as she ran up the stairs shouting for her maid to pack her bags quickly so they could be away in all haste.
"I will show them she thought, I will show them all. To think I was ready to settle for an Earl when a Duke wants me."
"Her Grace," how well that sounds.
Chapter IV Posted on Wednesday, 22 March 2006
Miss Bingley was satisfied that all was ready for her departure in the morning before she went down to dinner.
She found the entire affair dull and boring. The dinner was passable. (But, Mrs. Bennet was well known for setting a fine table and her daughter had learned from her.) It was the evening after that made her most upset. Mr. Darcy had insisted that his wife and sister play and sing just as soon as the men returned from having their brandy and cigars. No one had asked her to play, though she knew she was far better than Elizabeth Bennet.
"What did Lady Matlock and Lady St John mean, She feels the music, so well, which makes it much more worth the listening." What a silly thing, one plays the notes, one does not feel.
James had avoided her all day. As a matter of fact most of the guests had been cool to her, but she didn't care. She would show all of them, she would soon be Duchess Insurp. she would like to throw it into their faces right now, but it was prudent to wait until the ring was on her finger.
She really wanted to speak to Mr. Darcy though, she must make peace with him. She could not bear the thought of leaving with him angry with her. It would not do to be banned from Pemberley.
She could not understand the Duchess of Mont being so fond of Lizzy Bennet. She had listened in on one of their conversations and was shocked to hear them speak of nothing but her grace's young son, killed three months ago in France. One did not bring up a dead child, one avoided the subject completely. Any one with an ounce of sense knew that. When a child was dead a mother wanted only to forget them as soon as possible. But what could one expect, from a country bumpkin.
As the guests started to go to their rooms' pair by pair she slipped out and went to the library. She had heard Mr. Darcy tell Miss Bennet that he was going to finish a letter before retiring and she knew he wrote his letters at a desk in the library.
She had barely taken a chair behind some bookracks when he entered and sat down at the desk and took up his pen and began to write. He was not long and when she was sure he was finished she started to rise to go to him.
Before she could start the door opened and she cursed under her breath as she saw who it was. Elizabeth crossed to the desk where she kissed the top of Mr. Darcy's head before asking him if he was done. Pulling her around to the front of him he sat her down on his lap and drew her close to kiss her.
Caroline gasped at such a display here and not in the bedroom. She was shocked. This would never happen if she were his wife, of that she was sure.
"I cannot tell you how proud I am of you, my love he said, this day and evening have been a smashing success thanks to your organizing skills. The picnic by the pond after the hunt was a stroke of genius, my dear. Everyone was delighted with it.
"I am especially happy about the way you handled our greengrocer friend. I don't think he will be trying anymore tricks in the future."
"I thank you, sir," Elizabeth smiled, "but not everyone was happy about things."
"Miss Bingley," he exploded. "I never liked the woman but now I begin to detest her. To deliberately try to embarrass you in front of not only the servants but the guests, it was insupportable."
"I am sure you have not always disliked her," Lizzy replied, "I recall when you first came to Netherfield we all thought you and she were best of friends."
"I disliked her from the first time I met her," Darcy sighed, "her parents were such wonderful people, I truly loved the, Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst were never anything but ashamed to be the daughters of a carriage maker. From the first day I met them the both assured me that they were not at all like the rest of the family, they were far superior.
"Their father worked himself into the grave to provide for them and they showed their gratitude by keeping their distance from him, I tolerated them because of my fondness for Bingley. Well, then too Miss Bingley's acid tongue frightened off predatory mothers.
"If she ever makes another remark about your inability to act as Mistress of Pemberley I shall send her packing at once, I will not tolerate such abuse of my wife, the love of my life. Georgiana has long been uncomfortable with her, the way she speaks so sharply of those she calls friends, and how she loves anything that gives another pain. Georgie hardly speaks in her presence because she doesn't know what she will tell to all her acquaintances
"Dearest Fitzwilliam," Elizabeth touched his cheek, "how very dearly I do love you. You must not be too harsh on her though, my love. It is only natural that she should dislike me. I have everything she ever wanted, everything she dreamed of for years, so try to show her a little kindness, she is a very unhappy woman."
"Let us forget about Caroline Bingley and go up," Darcy put his arm around her shoulders as they started for the door; "I have in mind something much more pleasant than spending the evening discussing her."
Elizabeth laughed as they passed out the door and he put out the candle.
Caroline sat in the dark for several minutes before she even realized that she was in a completely darkened room. She sat for several more minutes thinking, "He hates me he has never given a thought of marriage to me, and Georgiana, even she dislikes me. Everything I have done all these years has been wrong. I thought they loved my stories, but they hated them and despised me."
Fumbling her way around she at last found the door and escaped to her room before bursting into tears. "I hate them, she wept, I hate them all, I will show them, I will make them sorry."
She went down to breakfast much earlier than she ever had before but she wanted to be away before the rest of the guests started to come down. Only Darcy was there and they barely spoke.
She had given her driver instructions that she only wanted to make one stop on the way to town to eat and refresh. the change of horses she wanted done in all haste at those stops. She arrived in London two days after she left Pemberley and sent his grace a note immediately.
"Louisa, Louisa," she shouted as she finished and gave to note to the lackey to take to his grace's.
She wanted to tell her sister the great news a soon as possible and to start making plans.
The housekeeper informed her that the Hurst's had gone to Sanditon with friends. "How like Louisa," she snarled, "never around when I am in need of her, selfish, self centered woman."
She received a quick reply to her note asking her to meet at an address which she did not recognize and begging her to bring the 5000. He said he sought her approval on the house to which she was directed.
She was feeling very dismayed by the time she found the house. It was in Cheapside, but a few blocks from the Gardiners. "Why is he looking at a house here, she whispered, surely he cannot expect to live in this part of town."
His lordship met her with a hearty greeting and took her for a quick look about the house, so fast as a matter of fact that she didn't have time to ask any questions about remodeling or furnishings. There were a few pieces of furniture in the last room that he led her to a table with two chairs. On the table were a few papers.
"Now my dear," he giggled, "we must hurry and finish our businesses. The house will be in your name. After all I cannot let it be known that I have a house in this part of town. We will spend most of our time at the palace anyhow, it is where one goes to enjoy life.
"These papers are to protect the peerage, it is standards. You simply agree that should a child be born of this relationship it will have no claim to any title and will never seek one. There my dear just sign these two papers and we will be done. Where is the money, surely you brought it with you."
"No I did not bring it with me," Caroline answered, "and I shall never do so until you tell me why as your wife and the Duchess of Insurp, my children will have no claim to the title.
"Wife, Duchess," he laughed, "No, no, Miss Bingley you misunderstand, I mean to have you for my mistress. I find you so amusing. No, my dear, Miss Anne De Bourgh is to be my wife, but she is too dull and sickly to be any sort of companion.
"Surely, Miss Bingley you would not expect a Duke of the realm to marry a common tradesman's daughter, surely not."
Caroline laughed, "Anne De Bourgh, she gasped, do you really think that that poor sickly creature can produce an heir."
"Oh, her mother assures me that she will breed, his lordship snapped, I just need to pay off 5000 in pressing debts before she will let me marry her daughter. I do hope you did not forget the money."
"It was too early," Caroline laughed, "fortunately for me."
As she hurried to the door and out she laughed again, "You will have to find the money and the mistress elsewhere your grace."
She made haste to her carriage and told the driver to be off as the Duke ran out the door screaming. She hurried up to her room as soon as she got to the house giving instructions that she was not to be disturbed until she rang.
Dismissing her maid she took off her clothes and threw herself on the bed . "I have one consolation, she thought, with his vanity he will be too embarrassed by my refusal to tell anyone, so I should be safe."
She rolled over on her stomach and cried herself to sleep.
Chapter V
Posted on Friday, 8 September 2006
To begin with Caroline has been married for two years and is pregnant with her first child.
Caroline wanted to scream or throw something, she wanted to slap someone or dismiss someone but she could not.
James had found out about her getting rid of almost all of the Hurst servants before her sister made it home and had to find a new staff. She still felt justified in what she had done but Louisa was still angry at the loss of her wonderful cook. It wouldn't have been so bad if she had not gone to work for one of the women Louisa hated most in the ton. James had made it clear that she was not to dismiss, or indeed not even raise her voice to the servants. It had been hard, but so far she had managed to obey him.
She thought that if another caller came today and sat there telling her about what a wonderful party the Darcys had last night she would scream and toss them out into the street.
James was of no help. He spent more and more time at his clubs. Before she became pregnant he had spent almost all of his time with her, now he left after breakfast and came home in time to go to bed.
She felt fat and ugly, she hated to even pass a mirror. She waddled when she walked and could never find a comfortable position to sit.
"This child had better be a boy, she thought, I certainly do not want to go through this again. I am not going to miss another season. I missed this one entirely and could only find out about everything from callers.
She was sick to death of hearing about the Darcys. How well liked Miss Eliza was. How much they were in love. She wanted to scream, "I don't want to hear another word about that woman.
She had rejoiced with the passing of the months and there was no Darcy heir. After 17 months however she had given birth to a son Fitzwilliam Darcy II. Then 11 months later a girl.
To make it even more insufferable she didn't seem to mind. She said she loved her children and looked forward to the next one.
Darcy just beamed in agreement and assured her and James that they would feel the same way once they saw the child and held it in their arms.
Well, he could enjoy as many as he pleased, but she was done if this was a son and heir. She even had his name picked out, Arthur.
She could not understand why everyone was so welcoming to Eliza. She had been so sure that they would be shunned. When she expressed her surprise to James he had laughed and said, "Of course they woo her because she doesn't care if the like her or hate her. She only cares about her family. These people always want those who do not want them."
"When she said that she really didn't have time for Almack's, because she was busy with friends and her work with the Society For The Help Of The Poor, a shock had run through the entire community."
"No time for Almack's. That was impossible, everyone wanted to be invited to attend Almack's."
Lady Jersey had nearly fainted and had to be attended to when Caroline told her.
Now even she attended a soiree at the Darcys when she was invited.
The maid came and announced Mrs. Hurst and Mrs. Bingley.
"Oh ##, Caroline thought, I shall be glad to see Louisa but I don't know how much of Jane's sweetness I can stand today. If either of them starts to tell me what a glorious hostess Mrs. Darcy is I shall run mad through the house.
Louisa swept into he room ahead of Jane and stopped short when she saw her sister.
"Good Heavens Caroline you look dreadful," she cried.
"I feel dreadful, Caroline answered as she struggled to rise, my back is aching and I feel like I am the ugliest woman on the face of the earth. James of course is not here, I seldom see him at all.
"Maybe if you weren't so unpleasant to him you would see more of him," Louisa snapped. She knew this would be a short visit with Caroline in such a foul mood.
"Well have you come to tell me what a fine time you had at the Darcys too. It is all anyone wants to talk about today."
"Why didn't you bring Georgiana with you, I told you I would like to see her."
"She is on her way to Derbyshire with my sister and brother, Jane answered. Lizzy is with child again and she wants to have the children at Pemberley."
"She is to have another child, Caroline gasped, That will be three in five years. Is she mad."
Jane laughed, " No, she is not mad, they just like children."
Caroline walked around the room and started to sit in her chair when a gush of water ran down her legs.
"Louisa, what is the matter, she screamed, what is happening to me."
While Louisa tried to calm her sister and assure her that all was well Jane ran to tell the servants to prepare for the birth and to send someone for the doctor.
Ten hours later the Hurst's along with Jane and Charles were trying to keep James calm when the doctor came to tell his lordship that he had a daughter and had the maid bring her to them to be admired.
Jane and Louisa went to the birthing room to see to Caroline. They found her weeping, "A girl, she sobbed, it is a girl. Now I will have to have another. Oh sister I shall miss another season."
Chapter VI
Posted on Wednesday, 15 November 2006
It is now four years later and Caroline and James having been married nine years are expecting their second child.
Caroline walked around the beautiful room straightening things and testing for dust as she went.
At last she took a seat as she thought, "I wonder where Louisa is. She was supposed to be here 20 minutes ago. I suppose that peasant husband needed her attention, or one of the children. They can be so selfish and demanding.
She rose and shifted her bracelets before going to check herself in the mirror.
"Well, you made it at last, she snapped. I hope you did not bring Hurst or the children with you. You know how it upsets me. I know that you have raised your children well, but all children have a tendency toward noise an even knock things off and break them. At this time my nerves are on edge all the time.
"Mr. Hurst took the children for a ride in the park in the pony cart, Louisa said wearily. (She was getting sick and tired of her sisters references to both her husband and her children.
"Where are James and Guinevere," she asked.
"They are gone to Pemberley for a few days Caroline answered. Jane and Charles are there to help Eliza with the new son. Really, I cannot understand Darcy, but he married a country nobody and now he has five children. Six if you count the daughter who died. I mean really sister she seems to be a good breeder, Caroline snickered.
"They will be there for a month and then Guinevere will go with our brother and his wife to The Willows for the summer. It shall be a wonderfully quiet summer here.
"I certainly shall not produce anymore. I don't care what this one is, my door is closed from now on."
"Caroline, I cannot understand your bias against children, they are such a source of joy to the rest of us. Louisa glared at her sister. How could you not love my own three and Charles and Jane's four. They are delightful."
"They are always touching things and moving them out of place. They always want to climb up on my lap or lean against me. They wrinkle my cloths and even get dirt on me. I try to get them to the nursery as quickly as possible, but one must not send them too soon without offending the mothers, " Caroline replied archly.
"For heavens sake Caroline, you could wear muslin when people with children are coming to visit. It wouldn't hurt you to come down off your high horse once in a while. (Louisa was about to leave, she was sick of her sister always demeaning her children and husband. Mr. Hurst since becoming a father spent less time at his club and more time with his family, She considered him a wonderful father and husband.) We are your family, you don't have to wear your silks and jewels for us."
Caroline jumped up and whirled around to face her sister.
"You seem to forget, Louisa that I have a position to maintain. I cannot go about looking like a country-
Before she could finish Louisa said quietly, "Like a tradesman's daughter."
Caroline glared at her sister, too angry to speak.
Louisa sighed as she said, "Let us not quarrel sister, I do not feel like having words today., and in your condition you do not need the upset."
Leaning back in her chair she asked, "Why are you sending Gwenie away for such a long time. Won't you miss her at all. I know she spends most of her time in her rooms or in the park with James but you surely must miss her a little."
"I try to get her at Pemberley as much as possible, Caroline smiled, I want her to get to know the place from one end to the other. I want her to watch and learn all she can about the workings of that beautiful place. I may not have won the honor of being the Mistress of Pemberley, but I'm going to make sure that my daughter is. Please do not call her Gwenie. Her name is Guinevere.
Louisa could only sigh and shake her head. She had hoped that Caroline would forget all about her hopes for Pemberley and be happy as Lady Hampton, but it was not to be
"Poor Caroline she thought, you have so much but it is not enough."
She rose to leave, she could take only so much of Caroline. She wanted to go home to her husband and children.
"Don't go, please, Caroline cried as she leaned over with pain, I think my time is come, stay with me sister."
"James should be here," Louisa said as she jumped to help her sister.
"Of what good would he be, Caroline snapped, men are utterly useless at a time like this."
"Call Mrs. Bridges and have her send for the doctor at once. This one seems to be in more of a hurry than Guinevere was."
For four hours there was more noise and running about in the Fitzwilliam house than there had been for four years.
At last Mrs. Bridges smiled across the bed at Louisa.
"We have an heir, she grinned, it is a son. His lordship will be most happy."
"Arthur, Caroline said wearily, tell him his name is Arthur."
Louisa saw the look that passed between the doctor and the housekeeper but she said nothing. After all she was thinking the same thing, Caroline had overdone it again, naming her children Arthur and Guinevere.
"Poor dears, she thought, you will suffer for your mother's snobbery.
"Poor James too," she said softly to herself as she sat down to write a letter to her brother-in-law informing him that he had a son.
Chapter VII
Posted on Saturday, 18 November 2006
It is now 12 years later. Caroline is still unhappy and blaming Elizabeth for her own failure to be accepted into the ton as she thinks she should be.
Caroline stumbled up the stairs to her suite, feeling like she would retch at any moment.
Three of the servants asked if she was ill but she simply pushed passed them and hurried on, her hand over her mouth, tears streaming from her eyes.
As she entered she rushed to the bedroom to hold her head over the washing up bowl until she felt well enough to stumble to her bed where she called her maid.
"Elsa, she sobbed, go down and tell his lordship and Mrs. Bingley that I am too ill to come down."
"Is there something I can get for you, Elsa cried, really your ladyship you look quite ill, should I have Lord Hampton send for the doctor."
"NO, Caroline snapped, then as she thought of James' words she said quietly, no Elsa, just tell him and Mrs. Worth that I will not be down all day. Tell him to give my regrets to Mrs. Bingley too, please."
"Wait Elsa, she sobbed, I am sorry I snapped at you, you did nothing to deserve it. I shall try to do better from this day on. Now go, please."
Elsa stared at her mistresses' back for a moment in disbelief before departing the room in wonderment. What had happened, her ladyship since she had gone down to see her visitor nearly an hour earlier. Now she was back in her room sobbing her heart out. What could have happened that would make this arrogant, vain woman apologize to a mere maid.
As she walked into the sitting room his lordship asked, "Where is my wife, it is nearly an hour since I sent word to her of our guest. This is insupportable, this goes too far even for Lady Hampton. (He said Lady Hampton with a sneer in his voice) When is her ladyship coming down."
"She won't be down," sir the maid, answered with a curtsy.
"Won't be down, James, roared, what do you mean she won't be down, do I have to drag her out myself."
"No, James, please, Jane put a hand on his arm. I know there must be a good reason. Caroline may think me beneath her but she would not be uncivil."
"James growled I suppose she is still angry because her party last night was not as successful as she hoped. The guests talked so much about how wonderful the Darcy party was last week."
"Oh no, sir Elsa said , she is really very ill. She just wants to be left alone she says. I have never seen her like this sir. I am worried."
"Perhaps I should go up to her, Jane rose, perhaps I could help her."
"Oh no, ma'am, She said she wants to see no one all day, I really think she needs quiet. I shall look in on her and let you know how things are, sir."
"Very good, Elsa, you are a very good maid, she doesn't deserve your loyalty. I see the way she treats you," James smiled at the girl and led Jane to the door saying, I will go to my club, the children are at Lady Danvers this sennight."
He grinned, "It still seems strange to me to think of Georgiana as her Grace, Viscountess Danvers. She does wear the title well and Thomas is still so much in love with his wife, as are Charles and Darcy. How fortunate they are to have married such beautiful amiable women."
Caroline lay on her bed sobbing, sobbing, until she felt like she could retch.
She lay there thinking about what had happened.
The servant had come to her suite to tell her that Mrs. Bingley had come to call.
"Jane, she thought, the next to the last person she would wish to talk to this morning. Only her sister, Eliza would be less welcome."
She checked herself in the mirror thinking angrily of her party the night before. She had spent a fortune on it,(enough to make James angry) but all the guests wanted to talk about was what a wonderful time they had, had at the Darcy's the week before. Mrs. Darcy had made up scripts for her guests and those who volunteered had acted out Mr. Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream. Caroline had thought it gauche and had been shocked when her husband volunteered to be one of the actors. To make matters there had been more volunteers than there were parts, so they took turns, some playing in the first act others in the second and third.
Even Louisa and Hurst became actors for the night. Louisa had even gone so far as to snap at her when she chided her for her part in what she thought was a disgrace.
"Really Caroline, your take your part of her Ladyship to new heights of snobbery, her sister told her, try it Caro, it is great fun."
"Don't call me Caro," she swept away from her sister in anger. She hated that name, It reminded her of her childhood as the daughter of a carriage maker.
She rolled over remembering all the things she had heard down stairs in the foyer this morning.
Jane had been telling James how much she enjoyed the dinner party her the night before and congratulating him on how well Caroline always showed her guests the best of everything.
James snorted, "The best, it had better be the best with what she spends."
"I'm sure she only wants to show what a good wife and mother she is."
"Jane, as always, seeing the best, Caroline smirked. Did the woman ever see anything but good in everyone. She sometimes makes me quite ill with her sweetness."
"Wife, James laughed, mother, Caroline is neither, she barely speaks to me except when she wants something, and as far as being a mother, she cannot abide her children. Two of the finest young people in England and she cannot stand to have them around. She's afraid the will break something or track in a little dirt onto her fine carpets."
"Oh, James, Jane gasped, I am sure you misunderstand her. I know she must love all of you."
"Jane, Jane, dear sweet Jane, James said softly, always seeing the best in everyone. Is it any wonder we all love you."
"My wife however is someone else. Darcy tried to warn me but I wouldn't listen. He tried to tell me that she was incapable of love, but I couldn't believe that anyone could be incapable of love. I thought that if I loved her enough and was good to her, trying in every way to make her happy she would come to return my love. I thought that he was jealous because she accepted me instead of sitting around mourning about losing the position of Mistress of Pemberley. I was so wrong and he was just as right. It wasn't him she loved it was Pemberley. Things would have been the same there as they are here if he had married her.
"I thought that the children would warm her cold heart, but she can't love them either. She is always sending them away. She sends them to Pemberley as much as she thinks the traffic will bear. She has it in her mind that she can make Gwenie marry William she will in some way at last attain her goal."
"She is jealous of your sister not only because she and Darcy love each other so much but also because of her popularity as a hostess. She thought the ton would shun Elizabeth.
"Poor Caroline, instead they embraced her. after all Darcy is still one of the richest men in England and owns the most beautiful estate, but most of all she did not care what they thought. She was perfectly happy staying at Pemberley with the man she loves."
"She can't understand why everyone loves a Darcy party where so little is spent, while seeming bored at her own lavish affairs."
"She refuses to believe that while she throws parties to impress her guests with her wealth, her title and her place in the social circle. Why do they give more attention to Mrs. Darcy than to Lady Hampton."
"I try to tell her it is because your sister does not ask her guests because of their standing, but because she really likes people, no matter where they stand in the social circle. Her parties are about her guests enjoying themselves not about noticing how much money is spent on them."
"Poor Caroline, if she would just look at her guests when she is telling them about the price of the food and the flowers and everything else, she would see that they really don't care and they think she is crass. She wants to shed the tradesman's daughter image but she does everything to keep it in people's minds. No Lady of quality would ever mention the cost of the food you are eating or the flowers you have been admiring.. If Caroline would only listen and pay attention to anyone else she would see that.
She far too enraptured with herself to pay attention to anyone else."
"She can't seem to understand that a Lady is also judged by the way she treats her servants. I can't seem to make her understand that a good household staff is one that has servants who are families who have been with their masters for years. Positions handed down from father to son and mother to daughter. Some of our servant families, as the Darcy's have been with us for at least two hundred years.
A tradesman's daughter would have no way of knowing that. It is what makes a house run well. The servants are the most important people in the house as anyone who has lost them would understand.
"But James, she is a good hostess and I cannot believe she is not a good mother. You have such delightful children. It is impossible for me to believe that she does not love them very much.
"I have Georgiana, you and your sisters to thank for that. They love to visit Lady Ashton too."
"Jane laughed, "Kitty loves them too. Who would have dreamed that when she married the young vicar James Ashton that Kitty would someday be Lady Ashton, Countess of Wildwood."
"I wish my mother would have lived long enough to see her daughter a titled lady. How she would have crowed. She would have made life miserable for Lady Lucas and the rest of her friends, boasting about how well her children married."
James smiled as he went on," Caroline could never understand why Georgiana spoke so little when they were together. It never occurred to her that her sharp tongue and abuse of friends absolutely terrified the poor girl. She was so afraid of what Caroline would tell others about anything she said that she said as little as possible."
"It was fine with Darcy up to a point where he became bored with it. It did help to keep husband seeking mothers away. If he hadn't been such a good friend of Charles he would never have spoken to her for the most part.
"Really James, though, I am sure you are wrong about Caroline. I know that deep in her heart she has to love her family.
"Dearest Jane, James smiled. How I wish I had your outlook on life and people. How I wish my wife had some of it but Caroline I fear is made of ice through and through, she has no heart, just a lump of ice there.
Caroline reached for another handkerchief and walked to the window pausing to look at herself in the mirror and let out a sob as she observed the red nose and cheeks and swollen eyes.
Darcy had never given marriage to her a thought, and she thought she was going to be Mistress of Pemberley, while he despised her and tolerated her for Charles' sake and her ability to keep predatory mamas away with her sharp tongue.
"How could I have been so blind, she whispered, how could I have given so much of my life to a man who would never have loved me or even liked me."
She felt quite ill when she thought of some of the things she had done to gain his attention. Her abuse of his friends had only made him dislike her more.
Eliza had been a challenge to him. She was the only woman he had ever met who did not pursue him. In fact she did everything her Mother Bingley had told her never to if one wanted to gain a man. While she fawned over him Elizabeth argued with him, while she made stupid silly mistakes to let him win at games Eliza played to best him and enjoyed it when she did. That was what the attraction was, she did not pursue him, she even ran from him. Now she knew that Eliza had refused his first proposal. She could no longer tell herself that it was a lie told by the Bennets to make their daughter seem that much more desirable.
"Caroline, Caroline, what a fool you are, she sobbed, you have had all you ever wanted here and you have thrown it away with you vanity and arrogance and your dislike of Mrs. Darcy. You have blamed her for robbing you of something you would never have, while you had all you could wish for at your fingertips.
"James, James she sobbed, I am not made of ice, I am not cold and unfeeling. I do love my children. I do not wish always to send them away. I only let them go where and when they ask to. They always want to be away. That is my doing I have made my family miserable with my stupidity. I hope I am not too late. I am not used to being affectionate but I will learn. Mama was wrong you do not keep a man's interest by keeping him at arms length."
"I love my family and I must try with all my heart to make them believe that and prove that I am not made of ice."
"Oh James, James I do love you so, I did not know it until now. Please let me be a wife to you, please do not let it be too late.
Chapter VIII
Posted on Wednesday, 16 January 2008
Caroline painfully opened her eyes only to close them again quickly. The light was like a sword through her head.
She opened her mouth to call for her maid but nothing came out. Her crying had left her with a huge sore throat and speechless. Not only that but her head was so stuffed up that she had to breathe through her mouth and she had the worst headache in history she was sure.
"Where is that girl, she thought she should be here checking to see if I need anything.
The she remembered shouting at the girl to leave the room and not to returned until she summoned her.
The tears began to flow again as she thought how she had isolated herself, but she knew she must fight to stop them knowing she would only make things worse.
When a knock sounded on the door she tried to call out for the person to enter but again she could make no sound. So she stumbled from the door thinking it was probably the maid, only to find James standing there.
A look of shock crossed his face as he cried, "Good God, Caroline, what has happened to you, you look dreadful."
She tried again to speak, but could only cry and clasp her throat with her hands.
James took her arm and led her to the bed telling her to get in and cover up whilst he summoned a doctor and looked for her maid to send to her.
As soon as he was out of the room she threw back the covers and rushed to the mirror.
She tried to cry out, but again nothing came out.
Her hair looked like an eagles nest, her eyes were red and swollen ‘til she scarce could see them and her nose, her nose(she touched it)only to find it as sore as he rest of her. I was huge and red.
She picked up a brush and made a half hearted attempt to run it through her hair but in vain.
Annette slipped into the room and stood staring at her mistress; who held her throat and waved the brush to her as she sat down on the chair.
Annette took the brush and after many minutes had it smooth enough to braid before she insisted that her ladyship return to the bed until the cook sent up the broth ordered by the master and the doctor arrived.
Caroline leaned back and closed her eyes, that at least relieved the headache somewhat.
As she lay there hearing the maid move about straightening the room. The words she had heard again came back to her.
She was considered a joke by the ton for her pretensions while the sought the company of Eliza because they didn't matter to her. They loved the Darcy parties because Eliza strove to entertain her guests and make everyone comfortable.
Caroline instead made them uncomfortable by letting them know how much she spent on everything hoping to impress them.
She had alienated her family by becoming too good for them. Even Louisa who had been her best friend all her life now sought the company of Jane and Charles instead of her. She had not realized how much she missed her sister until this moment. Before she became her ladyship Louisa would have been here now nursing her like Eliza did Jane at Netherfield.
She fought the tears as best she could but holding them back only made her throat hurt worse.
When a knock sounded at the door Annette answered and let Jane come in.
Jane came quickly to the bed to kiss her and express her sorrow at her condition. She carried with her a schoolroom slate and a piece of chalk.
"Sir James said you were unable to speak, she smiled, I thought you could use the slate to let us know what you need."
"You look very ill indeed, so I think I had best not stay. You need rest."
Caroline grabbed her arm and pulled down to the chair beside the bed.
Taking the slate and chalk she wrote, "Jane, my dearest Jane, how I have wronged you. I shall try to be better in the future. Please do not leave, I so hate to think of being alone at this time. You are the kindest person I have ever met and I have treated you dreadfully. I shall make it up to you, I promise."
Annette interrupted to say that the doctor was there.
Doctor Wilson told them That Jane would have to leave while he examined her.
When she left the room Jane told James that she thought Louisa should know of her sister's illness and volunteered to go to the Hursts to fetch her.
James kissed her hand and thanked her for being so kind."
Doctor Wilson informed Caroline and James that she would be in bed for several days and was not to have too many callers. She was to have broth and tea and some powders which he would send right over. He recommended another maid to help Annette, for it would take 24 hour nursing. He liked the slate because it gave her a voice and made nursing her much easier.
After sending her maid to have tea Caroline lay back on her freshly made bed savoring the crisply ironed pillows and the clean sheets.
James was right. She made her own misery trying to be the great leader of society instead of enjoying who she was. She had not loved Darcy but the idea of being Mistress of Pemberley and all the Darcy estates. It was true though she had tried to deny all these years. He loved Elizabeth with all his heart. Loved her enough to pursue her even after she refused his offer of marriage the first time he asked.
She had found a man who loved her enough to marry her even though society disapproved most highly. She had what she wanted and she threw it away with her twisted reasoning and her conceit.
She had two wonderful children who despised her and preferred Pemberley to their own home. Preferred their Darcy cousin to her. Like Fitzwilliam they loved Elizabeth not her.
She choked on her bile as she thought of the sister she loved but rarely ever saw anymore. "Oh Louisa, Louisa, how can I make it up to you, she wept"
She knew that it would be a long hard road to win back her family but she was determined.
"James is wrong she thought, I do love my children and I will try to become the mother they deserve."
"James, James , she sighed, what a fool I have been, you married me in spite of all the protests (especially your Aunt Catherine De Bourgh) because you loved me and I threw it away. All too late I have discovered that I love my husband who never showed me anything but kindness. You will be surprised to find that I can be thrifty as well as a spendthrift because I swear that from this day forward I shall no longer spend, spend, spend trying to impress those who could care less but will spend time with my family and the few real friends we have."
It is now ten years later and everyone in the family is at Pemberley sitting on the back lawn where the have been having a picnic.
"Nana, Nana tell me a story, James Saint John cried as he climbed into Caroline's lap.
Caroline laughed as she hugged her grandson, knowing that she would get about ten lines out before he would be off to chase butterflies or his cousin Will Darcy.
Quenivere had married Sir Robert St John, Earl of --- and had three children James, Elizabeth and Robert. It had been a love match which made her parents very happy. The youngest, James, was the image of his grandfather. Caroline smiled as she watched him now chasing a puppy. She knew she shouldn't play favorites but little James was so much like the man she loved so dearly that she couldn't help herself.
Arthur had married Jane Bittle daughter of Kitty Bennet Bittle and her husband Colin rector of Kympton. They had two boys Charles and Thomas.
Caroline sighed as she smiled at Elizabeth and Jane, as well as her sister Louisa.
"These past ten years have been the happiest in my life, she smiled , and I owe it all to you and James and Jane, for opening my eyes."
The End