Darcy, upon leaving Netherfield after the Ball

Posted on March 1, 2009

Good riddance to this ghastly place,
    the people rude, the manners coarse,
    the eager mothers out in force
to push their daughters in my face.

We need to leave them far behind,
    with all their traps for single men.
    Thank God that Bingley's safe again,
his fragile name still unentwined.

With hordes of nubile girls nearby,
    and parents stalking night and day,
    I'm not surprised they'd throw my way
a perky girl to catch my eye.

A girl whose tone is rather rough,
    whose mode of speech leaves all enraged.
    With every clash a battle's waged.
But I'll forget her soon enough.

This quick return is opportune,
    to city comfort, London style.
    It's time to live some life awhile.
So back to town, and not too soon,

A fine cigar, a pinch of snuff,
    some lemon in my glass of gin.
    That girl just wouldn't quite fit in,
so I'll forget her soon enough.

I'll watch the ladies huff and puff,
    and relish some distaff buffet,
    if only this unease gives way
and I forget her soon enough.