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Items 70-72

Posted on 2009-02-13

'I do not like at all what Jane writes about it. Jane tells me it is very offending. Offending, Mother!' - H.B.

70. From the journal of Mrs Wilhelmina Jane Bingley

18th May --- After that endless night, it felt slightly unreal to dance with Harker, even if it was only in pretence. We have not danced since the days of our courtship, so long ago now, innocent days, when I was still a naïve girl and the world was without woes.

I was, however, worried that Darcy was still missing, and thus, with regrets, I left the drawing-room again. Careful not to make noise, I rushed through the corridors. Downstairs, the bell was ringing; then the butler open the door. He had, after all, not been ordered not to let anyone enter.

I found Darcy in his private study on the second floor. The door was locked, as usual, but by pulling the brass candlesticks next to the mirror, I was able to open the entrance behind Aethelred Darcy's portrait and climb into the room through the chimney. Darcy was sitting at his desk, with his back towards me. I recognised a copy of Twitchell's The Living Dead lying next to him and a stack of sealed letters placed on top of it. Then, to my horror, I saw a small, sharp knife in his left hand - the one he usually opens letter with. The wrist of his other hand, I noticed, seemed to be bleeding. It had apparently just been cut. With a shriek of terror, I leapt forward. He had not noticed me before and now that he saw me, he spun around. I took the knife from his hand and he started to tremble.

'What do you think you are doing there?' I asked.

'I - the knife - slipped -' Darcy muttered incoherently. 'My wrist - bleeding -'

'Oh, silly, you took the knife in the wrong hand,' I told him, 'of course you hurt yourself. You are right-handed, remember?'

'I did not want you to -' he began, then broke off, looking helplessly at his wrist, from which blood was still trickling. He was not at all himself. It was almost frightening to see him lose control over himself like this just because of an accidental cut. But then, I realised, he had not slept all night and furthermore, talking to Miss Dohnanyi seemed to have greatly agitated him.

'Now, come on,' I said determined, 'it is not that bad.'

I bandaged his wrist with two handkerchiefs and, when I noticed that he was still shaking, poured him a glass of brandy.

'What were you doing here in the first place?' I asked.

'I - needed to - do - something,' he said slowly. 'Write letters.'

He took another swig of the brandy. His face was still white as a sheet.

'Calm yourself,' I said, pressing his shoulders, 'and let us go back to the others. There are some government agents come here; John has us all dance in the Green Salon to give the appearance of a party - all save Arthur and Col. Brandon, who are watching the coffin.'

'I am glad Fitzwilliam is able to organise everything in my absence,' Darcy said. 'It eases my guilt.'

'Now, dear,' I said firmly, 'no one blames you for slipping away for an hour. No harm was done. Come, let us join the others. You are the host, after all.'

'I cannot -' Darcy began. 'I cannot face them now. Please, leave without me.'

'Nonsense,' I said. 'Do not worry yourself about such a small cut. Now come! We are one gentleman short. You are needed for the dance.'

71. From the journal of Miss Verena Elizabeth Dohnanyi (translated)

18th May --- What have I done? How can I ever write to Charlotte again? How dare I ever face Charlotte again? What on earth have I done? Only this morning I was writing to her, thinking - hoping - that no matter what, I would always be able to tell her, my oldest, my best, my closest friend. And now? Have I lost her forever?

When I danced with Mr Bingley, I could feel that something was about to happen. The doorbell had told us plain enough that our visitors were on their way. Neither Mr Bingley nor I paid particular attention to the dance. My mind was somewhere else entirely; more often than not, my feet were far too slow and I tripped Mr Bingley. Miss Bingley and Col. Fitzwilliam twirled around the room effortlessly, but from their faces I could tell that they did not concentrate on the dance either.

Suddenly, from somewhere, someone announced in a deep, cold, emotionless voice, 'Lord and Lady Metcalfe, Sir Damian Carteret, Mr Ralph Parsons and the Rev. Wickham Younge.'

(It amazes me to no end how the servants always appear to know where one is, in spite of everyone's attempts at secrecy.)

I turned around. There, in the doorway, stood Charlotte and her husband, flanked by some ministry minions and the demented Mr Younge. Charlotte was white in the face and trembling, clutching her husband's arm.

'Charlotte!' I exclaimed, rushing towards her. 'What a delight it is to see you!'

I tried to sound airy, but my laughter rang horribly false and forced in my ears.

'But what a surprise that you are here!' I continued just as falsely, at the same time hoping to silently convey to Charlotte that whilst my shrills were false, my delight in seeing her was real. 'What brings you hither?'

Still, Charlotte had not spoken a word. She was just staring at me, her eyes wide open, her lips trembling. Col. Fitzwilliam was the first to speak.

'Lord and Lady Metcalfe, what a pleasure,' he said, much more convincingly cheerful than I had been able to. 'John Fitzwilliam at your service, ma'am, sir. So great to finally meet you, Miss, uh, Bennet has told us so much about you. But how remiss of me! Allow me to introduce my, err, fiancée, Miss Bingley, and her brother, Mr Harker Bingley.'

'We have met,' Charlotte said stiffly, not looking away from me.

'You have?' the Colonel said. 'How charming!'

'Indeed, we have,' Mr Younge said with an almost leery smile. He squeezed past Sir Damian and Mr Parsons until he stood directly before me. 'You did not give me your name yesterday, Miss Bennet, but I definitely recognise you. Such a pleasure to meet you again. I do hope your endeavours here are proving successful?'

'I am having a very pleasant time, thank you very much,' I said, 'but I am afraid you must mistake me. I have not had the pleasure of meeting you.'

'But of course we have met!' Mr Younge exclaimed. 'You came to my church yesterday, seeking my help. Do you not recall? Of course, even if you did not tell me outright, although you could have trusted me with any secret whatsoever, we all know why you really came to the church and who sent you there. I even wrote to the bishop about you, so there is no use denying it.'

'I am very sorry, reverend,' I said, trying to calm myself with all my power, 'but you really must have confused me with someone else. Nobody sent me to your church yesterday and I most decidedly did not go there, although I am sure it is well worth a visit.'

'Lizzy, what are you saying?' Charlotte cried. 'I sent you to that church! I sent you a telegram telling you to go to that church and wait for us there, where you would be safe!'

'You sent me a telegram?' I asked, trying my best to sound surprised. 'Why, I never got any. Why did you send one? Did anything happen? Are your family -?'

'Lizzy, why are you - ?' Charlotte asked. She was so confused. It hurt me terribly to see her thus. I wished I could tell her what was really going on, but with her husband's minions around, there was no chance of it.

'It was her! It was her! I recognise her!' Mr Younge squeaked at the same time.

The door opened and Mr Darcy and Mrs Bingley entered the room.

'Missed all the fun, did I not? Damn pesky letters of business,' Mr Darcy said in a tone totally unlike his usual one. 'Oh, we are having visitors, are we not? Jolly good, jolly good!'

I could see that for some reason, he was shaking in spite of his apparent ease. His wrist had been bandaged with a blood-stained handkerchief, but he gave no sign of discomfort and I did not dare draw attention to it.

72. From the journal of Mrs Wilhelmina Jane Bingley (continued)

Darcy and I rushed along the corridors back to the others. Darcy was still somewhat out of spirits, shaking and trembling, while I filled him in with all that had happened in his absence.

'So it is essential that it appears we have been having fun and dancing through the night,' I concluded. 'By all means, try to be cheerful, will you?'

'I - I do not think I can -' Darcy said, still sounding somewhat distant.

It was no use. I did not like doing it, and I knew I should blame myself afterwards, but I decided to employ the same somewhat unfair means Caroline and John often use, however often I have told them not to tease Darcy so.

'Look, I do not know who these people are, or what exactly they are doing here,' I said, 'but I am sure that they have excellent connections to the magistrate in any case, and will not hesitate to contact him, should they think anything was amiss here.'

It was a low blow, I knew that, but at least it worked.

'Yes, yes, quite,' Darcy said. 'You are right, of course. I would not want to get anyone into trouble - especially not now!'

'Then do you promise to be delighted, whatever is going on in there?' I asked.

'Very well,' Darcy said and sighed. 'I think I shall be able to do that for half an hour.'

'Good,' I said and placed my hands on the doorknob. 'Then smile! - and if you have to leave the room, take one of the doors, will you?'

Taking one last, deep breath, we entered the room. Just as we had seen from the window upstairs, there were five visitors. There was the Reverend from the village, who, although I am sure he has his parishioners' best interests at heart, has so often proven to be rather a nuisance. Poor Charlotte's eyes were red and swollen; she was clutching her handkerchief and trembling. I knew that this situation had to be terrible for her. The poor thing had no idea what was going on; she could not know that we knew who Miss Dohnanyi was and that we were on her side. In all the years of our friendship, I had never told Charlotte what we were doing at Pemberley and who we really were. There was no possibility of doing so now, with her husband and his friends from the government present, and most alarmingly, the Rev. Younge, who, I am afraid to say, has a rather unfortunate interest in all goings-on at Pemberley.

Darcy, meanwhile, was doing his utmost to be cheerful and he was doing rather well. Of course, he was overdoing it slightly, entirely understandable, as he was so nervous, but I am sure no one noticed.

'May I present my wife - Jane,' Harker said, remembering in the last moment that Charlotte and her husband did not know me as Mina, as I could tell from his expression. 'Jane, these are Sir Damian Carteret and Mr Parsons - Lord and Lady Metcalfe and the Reverend you know, of course.'

'Indeed,' Charlotte said with a tone that, were we not friends, I would have had to call icy. 'Good morning, Jane.'

'Good morning, Charlotte,' I said, hoping to convey my regrets that she had landed in this unfortunate situation. 'Lord Metcalfe, what a pleasure. What brings you here so early?'

'And you must meet our host,' John suddenly said, 'Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy, Lord and Lady Metcalfe, Sir Damian -'

'Darcy,' the taller of Lord Metcalfe's companions said with what must be called a sneering expression.

'Carteret,' Darcy said with, I am sorry to say, a rather disdainful mien. 'Fancy meeting you here.'

'Mr Darcy, I have been particularly eager to meet you,' Charlotte suddenly cried out.

In that moment, a very inappropriate thought came to me: Had the situation not been so serious, had this not been one of the closest we have ever been to discovery and subsequent arrest, this situation would have been rather comical. Like chessmen, we were standing there, motionless, staring at each other, daring the other side to move, daring anyone to speak out and say what they were thinking, 'something is going on here and I want to know what.'

Lord Metcalfe, flanked by his companions like guard, had not yet said a word, but was instead fixing his gaze on Charlotte, who, in turn, was keeping her eyes on Miss Dohnanyi. Charlotte was the first who now dropped the mask of civility and indifference behind which we had all been hiding.

'What, Mr Darcy,' she cried, 'what have you done to Lizzy? What have you drawn her into?'

'Golly, nothing,' Darcy said, still in his exuberant tones, 'some jolly hopping around, the good old waltz, you know -'

'Mr Darcy,' Charlotte hissed and stepped closer to him, whilst still watching Miss Dohnanyi, who stood at Darcy's side. 'Mr Darcy, I know what is going on here and that you are the leader of this little ring -'

'Golly, no,' Darcy said, 'there can be no -'

Several things happened simultaneously. I saw that Caroline was fumbling in her pocket, where she probably kept her weapon, but was halted by John's hand on her arm. Harker stepped to my side. Lord Metcalfe's companions suddenly stood rigid, eyes alert, watching both Charlotte and Darcy. The Reverend was moving slowly towards Charlotte, as if he were hoping to catch a secret he might otherwise miss.

'He has done nothing to me,' Miss Dohnanyi said suddenly in an almost subdued voice. 'Mr Darcy has been very kind and gallant towards me and a most attentive host. I feel very welcome here at Pemberley.'

'But in your letter - you wrote that everyone was behaving very peculiar - you wrote that you were sure something was going on here - that Mr Darcy especially was very odd -'

'I was just tired from the journey,' Miss Dohnanyi said. 'Everything was much friendlier the next day. Everyone has been very attentive towards me. Miss Bingley and I have been riding out and playing music - Mr Darcy and I have discussed books - we had great meals - I feel much more like myself than I have for a year. Derbyshire is doing me good, Charlotte. I am most grateful to you. You could not have sent me to a better place to regain my health - you know how I suffered in London -'

I knew she had to be lying through her teeth, and to her best friend too, and all to save us from harm! She was very convincing. It was amazing how such a young girl could have herself under control so much when the safety of so many was at stake.

'Lizzy!' Charlotte cried. I wanted to pull her into my arms - it was not fair that she should be hurt so by one she trusted when she had done nothing at all to deserve such a treatment; nothing but to come here in the wrong moment and the wrong company.

'Lizzy, do you not see?' she cried. 'They have bewitched you somehow - you are not yourself at the moment! I know you, I know who you are - if you wrote in your letter that something peculiar was going on, then I know there was! You do not say such things lightly, Lizzy - not you!'

'What do you mean, who she is?' Sir Damian suddenly asked. 'Who is she?'

I held my breath. I could see Darcy's fists go white. Caroline put her hand into her pocket again. We all remembered what Miss Dohnanyi had told us, that Charlotte was the only one apart from us who knew who she was and in what danger she was.

Items 73-76

Posted on 2009-02-19

'I do not know - I am almost decided (TAG: /I]not[I) to like it. What do you think? Should I like it?' - H.S.

73. From the journal of Col. Quincey Montgomery Brandon

18th May --- Darcy quite obviously being intrigued by Miss B. - Miss D. that is. Arnold's sister, she is - strange thought. Still cannot believe A. died. Always seemed so invincible.

Quite amazing how D. is dancing around Miss D. Wonder if either of them realises what is going on. Probably not. Both quite dedicated to their work. Rather sweet actually in their ignorance.

Am glad though everything worked out for J. and Miss B. Harker seems to have given up his resistance. J. and Miss B. now very comfortable with each other & seem to be giving each other comfort. Am very happy to see it.

A bit worried though that still have not heard from M. Do wish she would write. Do not like being so uneasy about her welfare especially now that she may be in a condition. Only wish could be with her now.

Am upstairs alone with A. now. Do not know what is happening downstairs. Music indicated dancing going on so do not want to disturb and draw attention to injured leg, also cannot boast partner. Wish though knew what was happening and if unexpected visitors are causing trouble.

74. From the journal of Mrs Wilhelmina Jane Bingley (continued)

'I told you,' Charlotte said slowly, her eyes not leaving Miss Dohnanyi, 'she is Elizabeth Alexandra Bennet, with whom I went to school.'

I saw Miss Dohnanyi silently mouth 'Thank you,' but Charlotte did not acknowledge this in any way.

Instead, she said, 'Now, Lizzy, will you come back with us to London?'

'I cannot -' Miss Dohnanyi whispered.

'Of course you can. Nothing and no one is keeping you prisoner here, I think we have settled that.' Charlotte turned to Darcy. 'If Lizzy wanted to come with us now, would she be free to go?'

'Gee, of course,' Darcy said. 'We are having a great old time, and Miss - err - Bennet is heartily invited to stay here, but if she wants to go back with you, golly, why should she not?'

'There, Lizzy,' Charlotte said with an almost triumphant gleam in her eyes. 'You see, you can go whenever you want. Now, are you coming home with me?'

I could see Miss Dohnanyi mouth 'I am sorry' to Charlotte before she said in a light tone, 'No, I think I should prefer to stay here for a bit longer, if Mr Darcy is so kind as to allow it. I do not think I shall be quite up to the noise of London yet.'

Charlotte twitched as if she had been stabbed.

'I see,' she said stiffly. 'Very well. Goodbye, Lizzy. Fare you well.'

'Charlotte, wait!' Miss Dohnanyi called out, 'do not leave like this! Stay here with me for a little while and I -'

'There is nothing for which I would stay a moment longer,' Charlotte said.

'Why - why do you not all stay for lunch?' Darcy said suddenly, sounding more tired and more like himself than before.

'I am sorry, but I have a train to catch,' Charlotte said. 'Goodbye.'

'Charlotte!' Miss Dohnanyi cried out, as Charlotte turned towards the door, followed by her husband and his friends.

'Wait!' the Reverend shouted out. 'Is this all, your lordship?'

'What else should there be?' Lord Metcalfe asked.

'Are - are you not going to do anything?' the Reverend panted.

'My dear man, what do you want me to do?' Lord Metcalfe asked. 'There is nothing I can do here.'

'But - but - they belong in prison!' the Reverend shouted. 'Will you not arrest them? They are - they are evil.'

'Of course they belong in prison,' Lord Metcalfe said rather coldly, I am afraid. 'I know it and you know it, but there is nothing either of us can do about it.'

'But - you are a government agent, mylord,' the Reverend exclaimed. 'You must be able to do something!'

'We are in England, my dear man,' Lord Metcalfe said. 'Think about it! We are Englishmen and we do not just arrest people simply because they are an unpleasant lot and we do not think any good could come of their staying free. Until such time as we have conclusive proof of their undoubtedly illegal activities, we cannot act. Goodbye, ladies, gentlemen.'

The Reverend shut the door behind them and they were gone. None of us spoke until the last 'but sir! - Surely, mylord, you must see!' had echoed over the grounds.

'I cannot believe we got out of this,' Harker said and dropped into an armchair.

'I thought we had had it,' Caroline said with a trembling voice. 'I thought that this must be the end.'

She gave a nervous laugh.

'We made it though,' John said in a hoarse voice. 'We made it yet again. And yet, for a moment, I thought I should never see any of you again. That this was it - the end of all we have -'

He was stopped by Caroline flinging her arms around his neck and kissing him with as much force as she could obviously muster. To be sure it was not really appropriate but I for one cannot blame her. Too much happened that night, that morning, to care much for such trivialities any more.

'He knows,' Darcy said suddenly, 'Metcalfe knows, and so does Carteret. They will not leave you alone until they have found out what they can accuse you of. You have to be very careful from now on, even more than before.'

'What about -' I began. Darcy's pessimistic attitude was becoming a tiny bit depressing, I had to admit.

'Fitzwilliam, I hope you shall be able to get that situation under control when -'

'What have I done?' Miss Dohnanyi suddenly said. 'What have I done?'

'You were phenomenal,' I said. 'Truly, Miss Dohnanyi, I cannot believe how great you were -'

'What have I done to Charlotte?' Miss Dohnanyi said. 'Did you see how hurt she was? She thinks I double-crossed her! If only I could have told her what was going on!'

'There, now,' Caroline said and put an arm around Miss Dohnanyi's shoulder. 'There, now, dear …'

'Come here,' I said and embraced Miss Dohnanyi, 'everything shall be right eventually.'

None of us noticed that Darcy had left the room through the portrait of Isabeau van Darcy.

75. From the journal of Mijnheer Fitzwilliam Augustus van Darcy (translated)

18th May - It is not nearly as easy to kill oneself as one would assume. I have been trying to do it, but for the life of me (ah! The irony!) I just cannot bring myself to do it. It is not fear of death itself, I think, although I will not deny that I am afraid, mortally so even. No, I feel that I am as ready, as prepared to depart from this world as I can be. Nor do I think that doubt is my problem. In my heart of hearts, I know that this is the right, the decent thing to do. If, through my death, my beloved sister can regain her freedom, then that is reason enough for me. It my well be that I forsake eternal grace forever, as I become the killer of my brother in my final act. That, however, I shall lose as soon as I commit my last crime and take what is not mine to take. I am willing to pay that price. If my blood, my soul, be the wereguilt for Nancy's life, then so be it. I have made my decision and I shall accept what awaits me. My only regret is that, unless mercy bless me, I shall not see Nancy again in this life or the next.

But it is not that which holds me back. It is the way my muscles clench, the way my heart beats faster as soon as the cold steel touches my skin. I see the blood trickle from my wrist and I grow cold inside. As soon as I raise the knife, I see the new day dawn outside and know I shall not see its dusk. Was ever a day more beautiful? I begin asking myself whether I cannot allow myself another hour, only to see the sun fully rise, to listen to how the birds' songs may end. Another hour to tell Verena what hopes I had had. Just one hour to say goodbye to everyone, to apologise for deserting them. One hour to say goodbye to John, my best friend, my true brother.

And yet, I know that it is foolish. This hour is as good or as bad an hour to die as any other, and hesitation will only prevent me from doing it in the end. The only thing that remains to be done is to raise the steel one last time and not lose courage in the middle of it. It will be swift and it may not even hurt. If only it did not have to happen in such a rational, such a cold-blooded manner!

I am ready to die fighting - I have been ever since the day they brought my mother home in a coffin. I always thought I should die sudden, unexpectedly, like Verena's brother.

That it has to end thus, in this perverted, surgical manner! I know, however, that it must end today, and if I do not do it, then who shall?

76. William Richard Collins, Lord Metcalfe, to Sir H-- G-- - S--, The Home Office

Sir stop grandmother not in danger stop though suffering from dementia stop aunt emma and cousin harriet remaining here stop shall travel to uncle john and await letter stop metcalfe.

Posted on 2009-02-26

If I have to read such an absolutely disgusting affront one more time, I shall release the Zombies. You have been warned. - J.A.

77. William Richard Collins, Lord Metcalfe, to Daniel Saunderson, Esq., c/o The Home Office (sent per express)

Lambton, 18th May, 190-

Saunderson -

My regrets to great-uncle George, situation resolved unsatisfyingly, Miss E.B. not abducted by Pemberley gang. No possibility to prove crime. Pemberley group quite certainly deranged and probably acting immorally and licentiously, but unfortunately, no evidence of any treason, although after report from aunt Emma and cousin Harriet, am convinced it is still taking place.

Lady Metcalfe quite disappointed and deceived by her former friend, Miss E.B., who joined forces with Pemberley gang in spite of Lady Metcalfe's express warning. Poor woman most distraught and presses for immediate return to L.

Personally cannot explain Miss E.B.'s change of sense unless lure of crime and perversion took its toll on her curiosity. Would prefer to retire to L. with Lady Metcalfe and suggest that aunt Emma and cousin Harriet remain on duty here.

Shall travel to Derby with Lady Metcalfe and contact uncle John; shall await great-uncle George's orders there. Have sent cable ahead. My best to Mrs Saunderson,

Yr. Servant etc.

Metcalfe.

77a. The Reverend Wickham Younge to Bishop ---

Note: Again, this letter we only found later, deducing its existence. - Lina Hamilton

Lambton, 18th May, 190-

Sir,

Much as it pains me to trouble you with such unwelcome news, I must confess to you that once again, our valiant attempts to vanquish the evil that is infesting Pemberley House have been thwarted. I cannot commence to comprehend where we erred in our stratagems, but through the benefits of fortune, our sworn enemies have ruthlessly triumphed over us. The blame, I can assure you, lies not with me, for at peril of my own health, I did my utmost to tear down the manifestations of their lies - to mercilessly strip them of their dubious powers and prevent them from committing further heinous acts. The authorities, however, failed to take so forceful a stance as I did, and neglected to acknowledge the threat of danger which both you and I so clearly perceive. In this instance, and I am sure you shall agree, I think it both foolish and perilous to follow the command of the Roman missive to the letter. The authorities may turn a blind eye towards the demands of the situation, but you and I shall be constant in our vigilance. However long it shall take, I shall persist in my struggles to bring down that which threatens us all and I am confident that the forces of order shall be victorious in the end.

One thing does pain me though, and that is that the creature I mentioned in my last letter, the foreigner who presented herself as a lady - although, as you may perhaps recall, I always knew, from her person and her speech, that she was an alien - is not, and probably never was, on our side, even though she pretended to be. In her, we might have been most unfortunately deceived, although, as I am sure you will remember, I always had my doubts about her credibility and trustworthiness; she was, after all, of foreign descent. She might have acted in a friendly manner, trying to gain information from me, but of course I was wary of her, as I mentioned already in my last letter. I fear though that today's unfortunate encounter may not be the last we have heard of her and so I remain, ever watchful,

Your most humble and obliging servant,

W. Younge.

78. From the journal of Col. The Hon. John S. Fitzwilliam

18th May - Heaven knows I have got myself into quite a couple of scrapes, but I have no idea how I shall be able to get out of this one. First time I do not think I shall be able to talk myself out of it; as a matter of fact talking may only make it worse. Unfortunately this is also the first time I ever really cared about the outcome. Were it otherwise, I should probably be able to get myself out of it more easily. Although if there were not so much at stake, it would not have been a scrape in the first place. Yet do not regret how I feel; only wished I had realised sooner and acted differently. Cannot but wish had not acted like a complete and utter ass, only am not sure would have realised in that case.

Whatever way I turn it, realise this scrape is the only possible outcome that may yet give me hope. Thus must, perhaps for the first time in my life, be totally and utterly honest, must be serious and hope for the best. Shall only have one chance and had better not make a mess out of it. The Lord may grant me good fortune.

NB: This entry is for nobody's eyes but mine and I would thank Mina to leave it out of her undoubtedly valuable collection. Some people have private lives and would prefer to settle their affairs in private.

79. From the journal of Miss Verena Elizabeth Dohnanyi (translated)

18th May, later --- What a mad, what a horrible day! I shall be glad when it is over, for tomorrow can only be better. That so much could happen in the course of one night - that one day can change so much!

That I lost Charlotte this morning - though I hope not forever - seemed the worst that could happen, but this afternoon almost made me forget about Charlotte, so surreal, so terrible, so strange was what happened.

When Charlotte left Pemberley, I was crushed. Mrs Bingley and Miss Bingley did their best to comfort me and they feel like true friends to me now. Mrs Bingley asked me to cal her Mina, which seems to be what the V.D. call her, even though I have also heard her referred to as Jane.

With time, I started to feel better, and not wishing to bother them too much, I retired to my room. Sleep soon took its toll, and after two sleepless nights I fell into a deep, dreamless slumber. When I woke, it was already past noon. It took me a while to realise where I was and to understand that I had woken from a soft knocking on my door.

'Come in,' I called, assuming it to be Mina.

'Miss Dohnanyi?' Mr Darcy asked. 'May I enter?'

Slinging a shawl around my shoulders, I opened the door. He looked even worse than in the morning. His clothing was crumpled and dishevelled. The bandage around his wrist was in disarray and dirty; the cuts I could now see still bleeding. He seemed to have run his hand through his hair, for it was unruly and matted with darkened, dried blood. What frightened me most, however, was the fact that in his uninjured hand, he was holding an old duelling pistol.

'You must help me,' he croaked. 'Miss Dohnanyi, you are the only one I could ask - the only one who would understand. Miss Dohnanyi, you must shoot me.'

'Mr Darcy!' I gasped. 'I - how - will you come in -'

Without a word, he walked past me and placed himself next to the window.

'I have thought long about what you told me this morning when you opened my eyes. I understood that you were right - that it was up to me to end it - that it was my duty to do so - and I decided that it would be best to do it at once. If I am not meant to stay in this world, I would rather not linger in it.'

'Mr Darcy, what on earth are you talking about?' I asked, but it appeared he did not hear me.

'I tried to do it alone,' he said, showing me his wrist, 'but I could not. I simply cannot do it. It is not death I fear, you must know, only the act itself. I am lacking the courage - or the foolishness - to do it. Miss Dohnanyi, you know what I must do, and why - will you help me?'

Slowly, understanding came to me.

'Mr Darcy,' I asked, 'did you try to kill yourself?'

At last, he had heard me.

'Yes,' he said, slowly turning to me. 'You said I had to do it.'

'I?' I asked incredulously.

'You said that only if my blood was extinguished - only if my brother had no bond to any living creature - only then could the vampire be vanquished. And so I -'

I had to laugh in spite of myself.

'And so you thought you had to kill yourself?' I asked. 'No wonder you think the lore of blood is crude if that is how you interpreted it.'

'I beg your pardon?' Mr Darcy asked, looking hurt.

'I am sorry,' I said. 'I should not have laughed. I was not ridiculing you. What you meant to do was an incredibly noble thing, and very courageous - only, it would not have worked. There is a bond between you and the vampire through your blood, yes, but it is made strong through the bond that is in your head. To you, he is still your brother, in spite of all that he has done, and as long as he remains a brother to you, he cannot be defeated. It is not you who must die, Mr Darcy - it is the memory of your brother.

'When you truly, deeply understand that your brother is dead and gone, and will not return, when you realise that what lies in that coffin is but a shell, assuming your dead brother's looks - then, Mr Darcy, the bond shall be broken and you will be able to vanquish the vampire, for there shall be nothing that holds it back here. One day, you shall say, 'My brother is dead,' and mean it, and on that day, you and your sister will be free.'

'I - must not kill myself?' Mr Darcy asked. 'I must not die?'

'No,' I said. 'At least, not now.'

'I shall be able to do that,' Mr Darcy said. 'I will be able to conquer this and force my brother out of my mind. I will vanquish the vampire.'

'Mr Darcy, it shall not be as easy as that -' I began.

'I do not mind that it shall be difficult,' Mr Darcy said. 'Not when it means that I do not have to die - especially now that -'

He broke into a grin, the first I had ever seen on his face, and it became him very well. Before I had realised it, he had closed the distance between us, had put his arms around me, lifted me up and twirled me around.

'Mr Darcy!' I gasped when he put me down again. 'Mr Darcy!'

'I must not die!' he exclaimed. 'I must not die, and I shall see Nancy again. Oh, Vera, this is the happiest day in my entire life. Verena, you have made me the happiest of men!'

He took my face in both his hands and kissed me firmly on the mouth.

'Mr Darcy!' I gasped again.

80. Col. The Hon. John S. Fitzwilliam to Miss Caroline Bingley

Caroline,

I put this in writing because I am not sure that I will be able to express myself as clearly when I am talking to you and I do not want to be mistaken; this is a matter of quite some importance, at least to me.

I must apologise for all I have put you through over the last few days. I am deeply sorry. I have embarrassed you and compromised you and placed you in an impossible situation. I had no right to do so or to presume you would agree to my plans. There is nothing I can say to my defence but that I acted impulsively and without thought; but this is no excuse.

I am a man of honour, Caroline; I have made a promise to marry you and I want you to know that if it be your wish, I shall honour that promise. I have, however, also promised you that should you wish to end our engagement, I would speak to your brother and explain to our friends. I am aware of the fact that it may not be your wish to be married to me and that you may want to end our engagement, and I want to assure you that, should that be the case, I would not hold it against you. That we became engaged in the first place was my fault and it is only right that I should make such amends as you desire. Therefore, if you wish for our engagement to be terminated, I shall speak to your brother this afternoon, as I said I would, and take all the blame for the mess I have made.

The decision is up to you and I promise that whatever it is, I will honour and support your decision and act according to your wishes, without reproaches. Let me only add one thing, not as an incentive for your decision; simply because I want you to know the truth.

I love you, Caroline, and I would be very happy if I could share my life with you.

John.