Writing Begun by Katy Kendall (kendall) Saturday, November 30, 1996
Scene: the anti-room at Pemberly.
characters: Mrs. Reynolds, Katy, several other ladies from the party who prefer not to be named.
Katy: Mrs. Reynolds, we are need of your assistance.
Reynolds: How may I be of help, ma'am.
Unidentified lady #1: We are thinking that since you and our host and hostess and their friends have not aged in nearly 200 years, that it might be reasonable of us to expect to have a few decades taken off our appearance.
Katy: Mr. and Mrs. Darcy are still in their twenties. Cannot we have the same advantage?
Reynolds: Ah, ladies. Your tour guide did not explain this to you? That has already been taken care of. If you will look in the mirror, you will see for yourselves.
Unidentified lady #3: Ah, my kind of tour!
Unidentified lady #2: And clothing? None of my own clothes will fit now.
Katy: Yes, what a pity. I was so looking forward to meeting Mr. Darcy in my size 20 jeans.
Reynolds: Step this way, ladies. I have a large assortment of gowns for you to chose from.
The ladies chatter happily: "Oh have you ever? ..." "I want the blue" "So much cleavage..." "I have a waist again..."
Reynolds allows the ladies to enjoy the sensation of feeling young and pretty while getting ready for a ball for a few minutes.
Reynolds: Ladies, if you will step this way.
The ladies enter the ballroom.
Darcy is seen near a fountain chatting with Candace and Cheryl.
All the ladies move towards fountain wondering if good manners requires them to prevent Candace from accidentily bumping into Darcy and causing him to fall into the fountain. Katy, however, seems to be moving in a different direction.
Katy: I bet Mr. Wickham knows how to show a rich American girl a good time. I must concentrate on looking rich.
(exit stage left)
Continued by Cheryl Sneed (Cheryl) Saturday, November 30, 1996
Scene: Darcy, Candace and Cheryl at the fountain
Cheryl: So Mr. Darcy, I do not recall there being an indoor fountain at Pemberley?
Darcy: Yes, it is a recent addition. I much prefer the pond when I feel the need to be wet, but this is winter after all...snow...ice...it can be difficult, you see.
Candace: (shakily) Oh yes, I do see!
Cheryl: And how often do you partake of a quick dip in the fountain?
Candace: (eagerly) Yes, how often?!
Darcy: Most every evening, but I shall abstain this evening, due the ball and also since I gave my valet the rest of the evening off and so would have no one to help me change.
Candace immediately and "accidently" trips, falling onto Mr. Darcy, causing him to lose his balance, tumbling backwards into the fountain.
Candace: Oh Mr. Darcy! I am so sorry, I do not know how that happened...
Her voice trails off as Mr. Darcy slowly rises, dripping from the fountain. Kali and Rebecca have acted quickly, closing the doors to the fountain room, in in the hope of being rewarded with a bit of wet clothing.
Cheryl: Mr. Darcy, pray, let us be of assistance to you, which is the way to your rooms?
Candace: (whispered under her breath) Oh my...
Darcy: This is highly irregular, ladies!
Cheryl: But sir, the fault was ours and so must the remedy be.
Darcy: That is a very convincing argument. Well, if you insist...
Candace: (quivering) Oh, yes, we do insist.
Cheryl: Indeed!
The party exits up the stairs...
Continued by Katy Kendall (kendall) Tuesday, December 3, 1996
As Katy approached Mr. and Mrs. Wickham, Lydia's eyes sparkeld with excitment.
"Another rich American woman looking for George." she thought. "Maybe this one will get us out of here into another country where Wickham can make his fortune." The Wickhams were were seldom part of the grand entertainment in the big house, but every month or two an adventerous guest found them out.
Lydia tried to appraise the young woman in front of her. "Wonder how rich she is? I have seen the dress before so she obviously did not bring a gown for the occassion. But Americans seem to travel light," she sniffed. No borrowed gowns for her, unless they were Lizzy's.
George was busy adjusting his thoughts, trying to decide how much the American was good for and what she wanted from him. "It is a pleasure to meet you," he said slickly. "Not many guests come back to the lower guest lodge below the upper guest lodge below the below the guest castle. How did you find us?"
"Oh, they told me just to go a low as I could go, and I would find you both. And here you are."
"And to what do we own the honor of this visit?"
"The crowd in the big house is so boring and silly. Someone pushed Mr. Darcy into that ridiculous fountain. A group of ladies is in the sitting room arguing about Mrs. Collins and why she married the preacher. Lady Catherine is sleeping on her throne. Mrs. Darcy is reading a book hoping we all go away. She gets more like her father with every visit!" Katy was a little nervous and chatted on and on.
"I was really hoping for a little fun. You know, wine out of bottles instead of tiny tiny glasses. And real food instead of those trays of crackers. And real music. Do you have a radio or cd player out here. Could we listen to some rock and roll and get drunk and tell lies together!" she added breathlessly.
"My kind of girl," thought Wickham as he put his arm around her narrow waist. "Is that your real waist or did it come with the tour?" he asked.
"Does it matter?", Katy asked. "It's mine for the moment."
"Of course not," declared Wickham who no longer excepted passage to America for his trouble, and therefore did not really care what this girl would look like when the tour was over. A small loan would suffice - and a little admiration. "Let's dance! Lydia, put on some music for us."
"Wickham is a great dancer. He does everything well, if you know what I mean," Lydia said as she rummaged around looking for the cd player and an electric socket. "He is mine, but you can borrow him for a few hours if you like."
Wickham handed Katy an open bottle of Thunderbird and they began to dance.
Suddenly the door burst open and .........
Continued by Katy Kendall (kendall) * Wednesday, December 4, 1996
.... and Amy marched into the room.
"Mom!" exclaimed Katy. "How did you find me?"
"That pretty girl is your mother?" asked Wickham, a little confused but sure the mother would have more pin money than the daughter.
"Katy, you must rejoin the tour group at once. Mrs. Reynolds told me they would ask us all to leave if you did not. Apparently American girls have gotten the Wickhams all stirred up before. Mrs. Wickham punched one woman's lights out, and she has been known to pull out hair by the handful."
"Lydia seems quite cordial to me," replied Katy.
"She is not drunk yet, Katy. And it seems that when Mr. Wickham realizes that his rich American girls are really middle-aged woman traveling on maxed out Visa cards, he flies into a rage that lasts longer than the hangover you are going to have if you actually drink that cheap wine. They have been through this so many times they should know better, but some people never learn from experience!"
Amy continued to glare at Katy until the wine bottle had given up, the shoes put back on, and the sulky Katy (for apparently emotional maturity had been erased with the physical maturity in Mrs. Reynold's dressing room) seemed ready to to comply.
The Wickhams looked disappointed. No matter how it turned out in the end, a party was better than no attention from anyone.
"Amy, how come you are still acting wise and mature?" asked Katy as they headed back up the long flight of steps to the main house. "I feel as silly as a school girl."
"I was wise and mature when I was a school girl," replied Amy. "Besides I need you help with Candace and Cheryl and Mr. Darcy. Your bit a foolishness has been tried before, but the whole house is stunned by this unique situation. No one is even sure where the indoor fountain came from. And the upstairs maids, when they saw Mr. Darcy soaking wet, all fainted dead away. "
Continued by Candace (candace) Thursday, December 5, 1996
As they entered the drawing room, they were amazed at the sight before them. Mr. Darcy was pacing. He moved from the door to the fireplace, from the fireplace to a chair. Sat down, got up. He finally turned quite suddening and with piercing eyes shouted at Elizabeth "How could you have invited them all here? Must the shades of Pemberly be thus poluted with such visitors? They are all such a class beneath us! The married women come without their husbands, the single women will never marry well, and the men they bring with them! Such men who find themselves comfortable with such obstinate headstrong girls! They must all leave at once -- and never return!"
Elizabeth rose to her feet quite slowly and meeting his gaze calmly, but with passion exclaimed "In such cases as this, I believe, the established mode to express a sense of obligation to one's husband, but I cannot. Your manners are impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, again." Her voice then softened, "Do you not see, my honey-butt, Since their BB died, their chats have been entailed away. They have nowhere to go. It could have been me."
Darcy's eyes were stunned quite like that of a deer caught in someone's headlights. He bowed his head, drew his hand near his mouth and quietly said "You are absolutely right. What have they said that I did not deserve? They have seen me at my best and my worst, dry and wet, left and right, and still they love me. They have analyzed every scene, and still watch ignoring the imperfections and inconsistancies. They discuss the symbolism, the morality, and even the dagginess. They are the true believer of our love. Nothing shall be done that I do not do myself. I will always make the drawing room available to them so that they may chat long into the wee hours of the night. They may go down to the spring near my lake at any time. There they can write essays and dig deeper into our souls. I will have my carpenters consult with Amy, so that they may finally have a home of their own."
Mr. Darcy turning 'round exclaimed "Everyone is to stay the night, you may sleep where you like."
Everyone found their favorite spot among which Cheryl curled up under the pianoforte, Kali went to the library to lay amonst the law books, and of course Candace retired to the bath tub
The End.