Beginning, Previous Section, Section IV

Chapter 17: Angel Standing By

Posted on Thursday, 10-Sep-98

elsey awakened with a start. Staring up at the fluorescent light fixtures, she wondered briefly if maybe everything that had happened over the past month or so had been nothing more than a dreadful nightmare. But just as quickly as she realized she was back in her own time, the smell and the occasional sound of a voice on a PA system made her realize that she was in the hospital.

Which meant that the nightmare had happened.

And Alexander was dead.

Tears filled her eyes. She'd lost her brave, heroic husband. He was gone and it was all her fault. His family was right to hate her, and she knew there would be no going back to them. She was, once again, alone. Only this time, she knew for certain that she would never be able to love anyone else. No one could ever touch her heart as Alexander had. No man would ever come close to having his charm, his innocence, his passion, his wonderful sense of humor and his amazing capacity for knowledge.

I might as well have fired the gun myself.

Kelsey heard a soft tap at the door and looked away from the ceiling to see Maddie standing there. Maddie rushed to hug her sister.

"If he weren't dead, I'd have killed him myself," Maddie whispered.

Kelsey pulled away and glared at her twin. "He didn't start this! John did."

Maddie's brow furrowed in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"You--you blamed Alexander. You said if he weren't dead--"

"I mean John, Kelsey. If John weren't dead, I would have killed him for doing this to you." She rubbed Kelsey's shoulder. "How are you?"

"How would you feel? Alexander's dead and it's my fault."

"Alexander isn't dead."

Again, Kelsey backed away from her sister. "I heard the heart monitor go flat. He died."

"Right after they knocked you out--and Dad checked, what they gave you was safe enough for a pregnant woman to be given--they got his heart beating again. He's still alive."

Kelsey refused to allow herself to hope. "Is he...going to make it?"

"I don't know. The doctors are concerned about all the blood he lost. One of his lungs collapsed and...the bullet didn't do as much damage as they thought. It's the shock that may end up..." Maddie trailed off. "They aren't enthusiastic. But he's strong. He's got a lot to live for. He'll pull through, I just know it."

"How did you find all this out?"

"Being an identical twin has its advantages. They thought I was you."

Kelsey nodded. "Can I see him?"

"They'll let you go in for ten minutes every hour."

Kelsey shook her head in frustration. If they'd been in his time, she would have had unlimited access to him.

Of course, he would probably be dead because the doctor wouldn't have arrived in time. And they wouldn't have known what to do when his heart stopped beating. They would've pronounced him dead...

"Have you seen him?"

Maddie bit her lip and nodded. "He doesn't....he looks..." She didn't want to tell Kelsey how bad it was, but she knew she had to. Kelsey had been through enough of a shock for her to sugar-coat the truth now. "It's not looking good. They've got him plugged into so much that it might scare you, all the tubes and machines and--"

"For God's sake, Madeline, I was only gone for a few weeks, not a few years. I know what the ICU looks like." On quaking legs, Kelsey stood up.

Maddie noticed. "Are you sure you should be up?"

"No, but I'm going to see my husband if I have to steal a wheelchair to get around in."

"I'll hang onto you. The last thing we need is to get busted for stealing hospital property." Maddie took Kelsey's arm to steady her and they walked to the ICU.

As the neared Alexander's room, a nurse saw the two of them and gaped. Only then did Kelsey remember that she was dressed in nineteenth-century finery soaked in blood, which must make her seem strange indeed.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but she can't go in and see your husband," the nurse said to Maddie.

"She's his wife. I'm only his sister-in-law," Maddie replied calmly.

"Oh." The nurse appeared confused. "Perhaps she would be more comfortable in something a little more...loose?"

"Excuse me?" Kelsey was a bit dazed, still feeling the effects of the tranquilizer, still reeling from the shock of the past several hours.

"I think that's a good idea," Maddie said. "Kelsey, honey, you need to change. They're trying to keep Alexander's room as sterile as possible, and that gown doesn't come close to qualifying as clean."

"I didn't bring anything to wear."

"Don't worry. I did."

After getting changed, Kelsey was allowed to see Alexander. Maddie opened the door and pushed her through, but Kelsey hesitated a moment at the door. Even from there, she could see that Alexander was in worse shape than she'd thought. The closer she got, the worse he looked.

It was all for nothing. He's going to die anyway.

Alexander's face was chalky white. The heart monitor she remembered so clearly going flat before passing out indicated that his heart was beating, but Kelsey feared every moment she stayed that it would suddenly go flat again. And the heartbeats seemed irregular to her.

Tears trickled down her face. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "Oh, my love. I'm so sorry I did this to you."

Alexander did not awaken with the morning light, nor did he awaken at all during the following day. Kelsey kept her silent watch either at his bedside or just outside his door. As the days passed, the line between who was the healthier of the two became blurred. Kelsey was getting as pale as he was, and a bit thinner in spite of her pregnancy. She ate very little, drank water even when she would prefer coffee to keep her awake, and only showered when forced into one by a member of her family.

Sharisse had given a statement, informing the police that John had cleaned out their accounts and taken their gun and disappeared. The gun was found a day later, and so when the police questioned Kelsey a second time--Mr. Madison standing over her the entire time--their questions were not suspicious but rather looking for confirmation of what they thought they were certain they knew. It was a relief when the news came that a warrant was out for John's arrest.

Her mother had been furious when she arrived at the hospital the morning she heard the news. "Why your father and sister kept this from me is beyond my comprehension," she snapped as she saw her gaunt, pale daughter. "The reporter said John did this to him. I can't believe it."

"It's true," Kelsey said. "I--"

Kelsey almost told her that she'd seen it happen, that John had indeed turned and fired at Alexander's back.

"All the evidence supports it. He was going to kill Alexander and probably me, then take Emma and leave the country."

"We have only his wife's word on that, and we all knew what she was."

"Mother!" Kelsey snapped. She gripped her mother's arm and led her into the stairwell so they would have privacy.

"Let go of me. I am your mother, Kelsey Angelica Chandler, and--"

"It's Kelsey Angelica Darcy, remember? I am not married to John anymore. And I'm only going to say this once, so you'd better pay close attention."

"Say what?"

"I know that John shot Alexander because I was there. He shot him in the back. The gun the police found has John's prints on it. John shot him. And nothing you can say or think will ever excuse the fact that he shot an innocent man in the back. I never understood your devotion to John, just like I never understood why you seemed to think Maddie and I were complete opposites of each other."

"Because all characteristics were split. One of you was good and intelligent--"

"I am just as good and just as smart as Maddie! Don't you remember the IQ tests? They were identical. Our grades at school were identical until I stopped caring about trying to measure up to her. We want the same things in life. We think the same things. We need the same things. We both needed you to love and guide us when we were children. The difference is, she got you and I got nothing but criticism."

Laura Madison's mouth opened and closed without speaking.

"Alexander is probably going to die. The doctors tell me that he isn't improving as they hoped. Yesterday he was running a fever and infection has set in and he turned out to be allergic to the antibiotics which would have cleared it up. He's in there dying because he was trying to protect Emma and I from John, and I'll be damned if I'm going to hear a word against him--or in praise of John. For once, Mother, you're going to treat my husband and I with the respect we deserve."

Mrs. Madison's mouth now hung open and she reminded Kelsey of a fish.

"And one more thing. Don't place Maddie's baby ahead of Emma and the one I'm carrying in your affections. They're all your grandchildren. You should love and cherish them equally." And thus Kelsey turned away, leaving her mother stunned by the unexpected outburst. She did not return to the waiting room to see Kelsey again.

Kelsey felt little guilt at her words to her mother. She guessed she should probably feel some shame in them, but all she felt was an overwhelming sense of relief that nearly twenty-seven years of frustration had finally been eased somewhat.

Kelsey slept only when exhaustion claimed her, aided by that fact that she refused to drink anything with caffeine out of fear for the baby. The evening of her diatribe, she fell asleep rather quickly and with almost none of the reluctance she'd felt before.

Alexander was smiling down at her, looking as healthy as he had before the duel. His eyes were bright. Indeed, everything about his presence was bright, almost as though...

As though he were dead and had become an angel. Only he wasn't dressed in white, he had no harp or halo, and there was no music surrounding them. Instead, he was dressed in the very outfit he'd been wearing the day they'd met, when he'd stumbled into her kitchen and she'd smacked him in the head with a cane.

"This is a dream, isn't it?" she murmured, gripping him tightly in her arms.

"Yes, my love, it is."

"You've died, haven't you?"

"Not yet. I've got a while still."

Kelsey's eyes teared up. "I'm so--"

"Don't, Kelsey. It isn't your fault. I should have seen it coming. John was too much of a bastard to do it fairly."

"Sharisse said that Wickham helped him."

"I know he did."

"Do you know...what happened after...after..."

"John is dead. I know that."

"How do you know that? You were..." Kelsey trailed off as she realized where they must be. "This is heaven, isn't it?"

"Not quite. What was it you once said they called some places? 'God's waiting room.' I think that's what this is."

"Then why am I here? Am I dying too?"

Alexander's smile faded. "No. Not yet. But you aren't taking care of yourself. If you don't start, you probably will die. Kelsey, you must promise me that you'll start taking care of yourself. If not for Emma or yourself, then for our baby."

He placed a gentle hand on her still-flat abdomen, where their child lay.

"Promise me," he repeated softly.

"I promise," she replied. "I love you."

"I know," he said.

"I don't know how I'm going to live without you."

"You'll survive, Kelsey, because you're strong. You always were, even when you were married to John. When I'm gone, you'll get through it."

Kelsey stood up and shook her fist in the empty air. "They can't do this! I can't lose you now! God, please! Don't take him from me!"

"Kelsey..." Alexander took her in his arms. "It does no good to rail at fate. You cannot change what has happened."

"But you're so wonderful and sweet and too good and it's not fair! You can't die. You can't. I'd rather die in your place because I'm not--"

"Shh." Alexander kissed her ever so gently. "You don't want to die."

"I would give anything if you could live."

Alexander smiled again. "Thank you, love. No one has ever said they'd do that for me."

"Your parents probably would."

"I meant outside of my family." He kissed her nose.

Kelsey wanted to relish the feel of him in her arms. She knew it would be their final time, even though this was merely a dream and Alexander was actually dying in a hospital bed just out of her reach.

Even she could not ignore the light brightening, and she lifted her head from Alexander's chest in time to see something float to the ground.

No, not something.

Someone.

The woman was dressed in Regency clothing, and seemed most curious to get a good look at Alexander. She circled them several times, then suddenly she smiled, nodded, and said, "God bless you both." With that, she disappeared.

And Kelsey awakened, because someone was shaking her shoulder.

"Kelsey? Kelsey, honey, wake up."

Kelsey slowly opened her eyes. Her father was standing over her, looking concerned.

"I hated to disturb your sleep, because you actually looked as though you were sleeping well, but you needed to know," he said.

"Alexander's dead," she said calmly. "I know."

Her father smiled, and for a brief second Kelsey wondered if he'd gone mad. "No, Kelsey. He's not dead. He's awake."

Conclusion: Miracles

Posted on Tuesday, 15-Sep-98

Christmas Morning.

"Kelsey?"

Kelsey looked up from the book she'd been reading from. Alexander lay in his hospital bed still, weak and still somewhat pale, but doing so much better than he had the week before that it did Kelsey's heart a great deal of good to see him. And the same could be said for the sight of her for him.

"Yes?"

"Did I tell you about the dream I had...just before I awakened?"

Kelsey found her bookmark and set the book on the small table beside his bed. "No, you didn't. Did you dream of a long tunnel with a bright light at the end of it? Were your long-dead relatives waiting for you, beckoning you toward them?"

"No. Where on earth did you come up with that nonsense?"

Kelsey smiled. "A lot of so-called near-death experiences. So it doesn't feel like that?"

"I don't remember anything from when you told me that I actually...I cannot fathom being dead and then being alive again. Are you certain it happened?"

Kelsey had told Alexander everything that had happened since his shooting, including the fact that she'd truly believed him dead. Although he was grateful for whatever had been able to save his life, it still baffled him.

One more thing he'd have to read up on as soon as he got out of the hospital.

"Positive," she replied. "But we were talking about your dream."

"Yes, right. I dreamed that we were in a room together...it wasn't like this one, but there was light from somewhere. You were wearing the outfit you wore when I first met you."

"I wasn't carrying the cane, was I?"

He laughed. "No, you weren't. We talked for a while. I told you...I told you that you weren't taking care of yourself, that you needed to rest for the baby's sake if not your own. Were you..."

Kelsey's eyes had widened because she realized that he was talking about the dream she'd had right before he'd awakened.

"You became upset because I told you I was probably going to die," he said softly. "And you screamed at God. I told you there was no point, and we embraced for a while. You didn't want to let me go, and I must say that I didn't want to let you go for fear that I would die without you."

"And then someone appeared," Kelsey continued. "Did you know who she was?"

"I think I did. I thought I remembered her name, but when I try to recall it now nothing comes to mind. She...she seemed pleased. She blessed us both, and then you left."

"No, she left."

"That's not--" Alexander realized that the two of them may have had the same dream, but something had changed between his and hers when she woke up. "My dream continued, I suppose. The lady stayed behind, and we talked a bit. She asked a great deal about my family...my brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles. Mostly about my parents...and about you. And Emma. And the baby that is coming. Then she said that I was going home, and...and I woke up."

Kelsey smiled. "I'll bet she was your grandmother Darcy. It would explain all the interest she took in the family."

"I don't think it was. I recall what my Grandmother looks like and it wasn't at all like this woman. Strange...I almost feel like crediting her for bringing me back to life."

Kelsey kissed him. "I credit God. That's enough for me."

Kelsey picked up the book and continued reading.

Emma returned home the morning after Christmas, sad to have missed spending the holiday with her parents but thrilled beyond belief to be home again. She promptly went over to Tommy Wallace's house, where there was lots of stuff to do with the snow which had fallen in her absence. She got to visit Alexander that day, and he was once again her Daddy and John was forgotten.

Kelsey felt a great deal of relief at that.

Many members of the Darcy family apologized for their rude behavior to Kelsey prior to the duel. The reports they'd had that she hadn't left the hospital during Alexander's convalescence made them feel most ashamed of their former opinion. The Pemberley servants in particular felt guilt over what they'd said about the young Mrs. Darcy. Kelsey's former maid, Libby, lorded it over everyone that they had been so rude to her noble mistress, and she'd been the only one who had seen her through her near tragedy.

There was never any report of the duel, or of the death of John Chandler. The Darcy family had him buried in a private ceremony attended only by his widow, who shed a number of tears. Emma was never told that her father was dead, or that he'd been the cause of Alexander's ending up in the hospital. She was young still, and it was hoped that she would forget about what wound up being a disastrous Christmas for her.

As for George Wickham, he would find himself on a ship bound for God only knew where, courtesy of Sir James Hampton and the Darcy family. Mr. Darcy would have preferred silencing the man forever, but Sir James' cooler sensibilities reigned and it was hoped that they would at last have seen the last of George Wickham.

And each day brought a new report from the hospital--where, it was said, Alexander's recovery was miraculous and going quite well. He would be out of the hospital and at home before the new year. And by the time his first child was born, he would be back to normal.

July 22. 2:19 a.m.

"Alexander?"

"Hmmm...mphf."

"Alexander?" A tug on his sleeve this time.

"Mmmm?"

"Alexander...I think I just had a contraction."

"That's nice."

Kelsey raised herself on her elbows and put a hand to her bulging stomach. She frowned at the man who had turned his back on her. She gave him five seconds before he realized what she'd said or she'd dump her glass of water on his head.

It took him less than three.

"A what?!" he gasped, turning back to her. "Do you mean...is it time for the baby?"

"I think it is," she said with a grimace of pain as another contraction hit her.

Alexander jumped out of the bed with a spark of sudden energy, throwing on his pants and the T-shirt he'd had laying on a chair waiting for just this moment. He accidentally kicked the chair and cursed, causing Kelsey to chuckle.

"And here I didn't think you knew such language," she said.

"I suspect watching those horror films assisted my knowledge there," he grumbled, putting on his shoes without noticing that he was putting them on the wrong feet.

Kelsey managed to get into a rather large dress--one of only two she'd been able to get into lately, although the doctor insisted she was only having one baby--and a pair of slip-on shoes as Alexander rather nervously called the doctor and hospital, then Mr. Madison, who would take care of Emma while they were gone. To Emma, he dug up the note Kelsey had written weeks ago which read, "We're going to get your baby brother or sister. Be home soon."

Alexander reached for Kelsey's suitcase and led her to the car. After getting her in the passenger's seat, he got in the car.

"I can't believe I'm letting you drive," she hissed as he swerved into traffic. "You...aah!" she cried as another contraction hit.

"They're too close together," he said. "This cannot be good for the baby."

"Your driving isn't helping any!" she snapped.

"Well you are certainly in no condition to drive yourself," he muttered.

"Keep your eyes on the road!" she shrieked. "The last thing we need after all this is to die in a car crash on the way to the hospital!"

Poor Alexander was uncertain why his beloved was yelling at him so, but his father had assured him that women were prone to emotional outbursts when they were near their time, so he did not think ill of her.

By some miracle, they managed to get to the hospital without crashing anywhere. Alexander didn't consider that much compared to the miracle that occurred a mere four hours later. The doctor told him that he was a bit surprised at how well Kelsey had done, considering her troubles with Emma, but that everything was fine.

Of course, the doctor had a bit of explaining to do, as he had said Kelsey wasn't having twins and yet that was exactly what she'd done.

A boy and a girl.

Alexander had been in awe of the two tiny creatures the moment he saw them. His little daughter looked like Kelsey, while his son...

His daughter and son.

Alexander always took a moment to think on that. He was the father to these two precious beings. He almost hadn't been there to see them.

As he looked upon his children, he gave a silent thanks to God for the wondrous gifts He'd given a simple man.

And then Alexander remembered the name of the woman he'd spoken to in his dream. He went to Kelsey's room to tell her, his arms full of roses. He smiled at the first sight of her. She was resting and looked exhausted, but never in his life had she looked more beautiful to him than she did at that moment. He did nothing more than look upon her for a long while.

When she finally awakened, to the smell of flowers and the beaming of her husband, she smiled. "Hello, Mr. Darcy," she said softly.

"Hello, Mrs. Darcy."

"I see you've managed to buy out an entire florist's shop."

"Only the best for you, my love."

"Did you see them?"

"I did indeed. Never again shall I trust doctors. They tend to be very wrong."

"Not all doctors. Besides, Dr. Carter explained what happened...I mean, how they thought there was only one. But do you mind it much?"

"Not at all. I knew you were an amazing woman, Kelsey. You just continue to amaze me every day."

She sighed. "Well, now that we have these children, shall we now decide what to name them?"

Alexander had insisted that they not choose names before the child was born, for reasons he didn't share but Kelsey didn't question.

"I've been thinking...would it be all right if we named our son James?"

"James?" Alexander's eyes raised.

"Yes. I think of Sir James and what he told me about...he helped me through a difficult time. I can't think of any better way to honor him."

"I thought perhaps we might name our child after your father, for everything he did for us. Here and then."

Kelsey smiled. "Then we'll compromise. We'll call him Joshua James Darcy. Josh Darcy," she repeated. "Sounds good to me."

"As for our daughter...Kelsey, do you recall that dream I had..."

"Yes."

"I remembered the name of the lady in the dream, and if it is all right with you, I think I would like to name our daughter after her...and my mother. I want to name her Jane Elizabeth Darcy."

Kelsey's smile widened as a joyful tear trickled down her cheek. "Jane and Josh. I think it's perfect."

Alexander kissed her tear away, whispering, "I think you're perfect."

The End