Posted on Sunday, 11-Oct-98

Author's Note: This story is for Alice who supplied me with the first line and Ewa, who supplied me with the last one. Thank you.

f they only knew I am wearing men's underwear, thought Caroline Bingley walking across the ballroom of Netherfield Park. If he only knew I am wearing men's underwear, she enjoyed the knowledge. In her memories, she returned to yesterday evening and to the conversation between her brother and Mr Darcy she overheard.

 
The Previous Evening

She was just passing the library door when her brother's words caught her attention:

"Well, Darcy, I'm glad you confided in me. It seems a bit peculiar. Really no offence meant, I mean, it happens but…"

"Bingley, I just can't help it. Manly women just appeal to me."

"I fully understand and you don't have to explain. I must say I sometimes feel this strange urge when I imagine a woman in men's underwear."

"You are reading in my mind, my friend." Replied Darcy.

Caroline blushed and walked faster thinking: This is it. I need to make him understand that I wear men's underwear! She could not have heard the words Darcy spoke:

"Enough Bingley, that was jolly good fun but what would happen if one of the servants heard us and took it for granted. I meant that we like…" he burst out laughing. They've been talking about good old times, when they were at Eton and there was a female servant who turned out to be a disguised man.

The Day Of The Ball

Caroline dismissed her maid. She needed to put on the underwear and wanted no one to know about it. It was supposed to be her secret weapon for catching Darcy, but she wanted the world to know that Darcy had chosen her for his wife because of her grace, talents and accomplishments and not because of a fet… of other reasons. She was already imagining the wedding night, when she would show up in the best men's underwear she would get in London. Of course, then she would no longer make such a show of herself, but she decided that having Darcy for a husband was worth this one single show for him, just one.

However before she could implement this idea, she had to indicate to Darcy what her underwear preferences were. Yet, men's underwear under a female dress was… was a bit difficult to wear. However, for a person so much determined to have Mr Darcy of Pemberley for a husband as Caroline, there were no hurdles too high to cross.

Having coped with all the obstacles, she descended to the ground floor to greet the arriving guests. She was a bit disappointed with her role as hostess because it did not permit her to have Darcy all to herself as she wished.

Having greeted the guests she moved towards the ballroom, where she was sure she would find Darcy in one corner or another. She noticed him standing in the far end of the room. If they only knew I am wearing men's underwear, thought Caroline Bingley, walking on. If he only knew I am wearing men's underwear. He shall know soon enough, concluded she, approaching Fitzwilliam Darcy. She had a tiny, silk handkerchief in her hand. Being just feet away from where Darcy stood she dropped it. Seeing it, Darcy bowed to pick it up. At that moment Caroline lifted her dress so that he could see she was wearing men's underwear. If it surprised Darcy, he did not show it, handing her the handkerchief back. She smiled thinking: He must have noticed. He is just too shy to show it. Oh, dear Pemberley and 10,000 pound s a year, you will be mine soon.

Indeed, Darcy did notice what she was wearing under her dress. It was also obvious to him that she did it on purpose. She must have heard us yesterday, he chuckled when Caroline's attention was taken by some other guest. He excused himself and went away, wondering what more Caroline would do to catch him for a husband: She doesn't understand that nothing will ever induce me to marry her. He noticed Elizabeth Bennet talking to Charlotte Lucas. Elizabeth looks beautiful tonight, thought he. I need a dance with her, he thought approaching both ladies

Caroline watched him closely. It was unbelievable that Darcy was asking Eliza Bennet to dance. I always knew, she smoked cigars. That's why he asks her. She is manlier. I have to change, too, thought Caroline marching out of the room.

THE END