Posted Friday, 21-Aug-98

ady Darymple, her daughter Miss Carteret, Sir Walter Elliot and his own daughter Elizabeth were all seated on benches in the concert room of Bath. Their party was a boring one, even if Sir Walter and Elizabeth were quite occupied with the difficult task of being as flattering and obsequious to their cousins as could be imagined. Anne was married and gone to the West Indies, Mary at Uppercross and Mr. Elliot, well, Mr. Elliot was gone somewhere with Mrs. Clay, to the indignation of his family.

Miss Carteret and Elizabeth left their seats to go seek refreshments, and Sir Walter eagerly stepped close to Lady Dalrymple. The Dowager Viscountess leaned forward to him and said:

'Sir Walter, I have been thinking about the shameful conduct of your heir, and I think he should not become master of Kellynch. Our family would be disgraced, and I would end every relation with the Elliots.'

'But Madam, how could it be prevented?'

'You have to find a young wife, able to bear sons, preferably with some money, and fast.'

'But my daughters! How would they react to a mother-in-law?'

'Sir Walter, you annoy me! Would you prefer Elizabeth to be thrown away from Kellynch by Mr. Elliot? And besides, a young woman at your arm, fashionable but not too beautiful, would improve your looks, and make you look younger.'

This last argument made the trick for Sir Elliot and he eagerly scanned the room for an eligible woman. Alas, the women he saw were either too plain, too handsome, too old or young, or not dressed into enough fashion. He was getting desperate when Elizabeth and Miss Carteret came back, bringing with them a young woman of about 23, dressed expensively with feathers, gems and ribbons, with a tolerable face and an air of proud disdain.

'Mama, Sir Elliot, said Miss Carteret, I would like to introduce Miss Caroline Bingley, a friend I met in London.'

Miss Bingley curtsied with grace, her smile civil but her eyes cold and calculated. Sir Walter had indeed found the perfect wife.

Miss Bingley had come to Bath in an hurry, just after hearing the news of Darcy and Elizabeth's engagement. She had to remove herself from all the gossip of London, and she was seeking revenge. Elizabeth had stole her Darcy's wealth, domain, and accessory his heart. She had to do better then her : she needed an extravagant marriage with someone, whoever, with a title. She would love to address MRS Darcy as LADY Caroline. Her goal was set, and she entered eagerly in the concert room. The hunt for noblemen was open.

Thus, it is no surprise that Caroline and Sir Walter got along very well. They both shared an egocentric look on the world, they didn't need love : he saw her as the mother of his heir, and valued her dowry, she saw him as a baronet, and old enough to die soon. Their courtship was short, and the proposition soon made and accepted. Elizabeth, though a little displeased at having to lose her rank as mistress of Kellynch, was more than eager to prevent Mr. Elliot from being a Baronet. She and Caroline rapidly became friends, they both had pride, a great value for themselves, a propensity for slander, and hearts of stone : they were perfectly suited.

Caroline arranged to marry two days before Darcy and Elizabeth, thus escaping from assisting at their union. She wore meters and meters of white satin, her ring was awfully huge, and the assembly included almost everybody she ever met. It was as big and extravagant a marriage as it could get. The smile on the new spouse's face while exiting from the church was due to her satisfaction at having succeed in getting a title. (The fact that Elizabeth and Darcy couldn't care less, and didn't even think about her, totally escaped Caroline.)

In Kellynch that night, Caroline prepared for her marital duty by asking Walter never to call her anything but Lady Caroline, and by bringing the Baronetage to bed. His preparations consisted of disposing the numerous looking glasses all around the bed, so he could see himself under every possible angle.

Their union was sterile, and Sir Walter never got the heir he wanted. Caroline soon convinced him of letting Kellynch again, and getting back to Bath. They ended there, trying to see and be seen, seeking Lady Darymple's favors, and talking incessantly to one another, without never listening. Caroline's life ended up being as sterile and uninteresting as herself, and everybody quite agreed that, after all, it was all she deserved.