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Chapter I
Mr. William Collins sat at his desk wondering if he had done the right thing; that is proposing marriage to Miss Lucas. He had been back at Hunsford for a short time. Returning personally to inform his patroness, Lady Catherine De Bourgh, of his future happiness. Now he was doubting his choice, had he truly chosen the one who would make him truly happy.
He looked back at the past few weeks with a twinge of pain in his heart. Because he knew his great love would not have been acceptable to his patroness, he had chosen a mate who would fill the requirements Lady Catherine had laid out. "Mr. Collins," she had ordered, "you must choose a wife who is a useful sort of person, not too proud and who has been brought up to know her place. She must be a gentlewoman, do not pick someone whom you would feel ashamed to introduce me to." Lady Catherine had then admonished him to "Do it at once, without delay." So Mr. Collins had written to his cousin Mr. Bennet, with the intent of healing the breach within the family, by marrying one of the daughters of the house.
The Miss Bennets were thought of highly in Hertfordshire, and Mr. Collins had upon entering the county, inquired about the Bennet family. He found that Miss Bennet was talked of as extremely lovely, having a Grecian beauty about her. Miss Elizabeth was know for her wit and lively manner, and being quite pretty herself. Several of the people he had talked to mentioned her fine eyes. Miss Mary, he had discovered was rather plain, but many said she was quite accomplished and learned. Miss Kitty and Miss Lydia were called extremely friendly, and they were known to be admired by the officers of the militia, that was encamped in Meryton. So Mr. Collins continued his journey with the intention of choosing one of these pleasant girls for a wife.
It wasn't long before Mrs. Bennet, the lady of the manor, had made it clear that Miss Bennet was considered to be spoken for, by a gentleman of some consequence. Mr. Collins then turned his attention to his cousin Elizabeth. He found that the reports of her lively manner were not exaggerated, but he felt sure he could tone it down with the proper instruction after they were married. She was, he felt, an excellent choice and he was in no doubt that his proposal of marriage would be accepted. After all her chance of receiving another offer was doubtful, since her dowry was quite small. He found though that he had been mistaken, when she turned him down.
He had been so disappointed that he had to escape the Bennet household. He had never felt so humiliated, he knew he had to leave in order to regain his composure. Miss Lucas had arrived at Longbourn not long after, the unhappy episode had taken place.
"Mr. Collins," Charlotte implored, "Why don't you come to Lucas Lodge for a short stay, I'm sure my parents would like to get to know you better, and it would avail you of a change of scene. "
"I'm most thankful to you for your kind solicitude Miss Lucas, and if you are certain your parents will not be discomforted by this most untimely visit, I will humbly and most gratefully accept your kind invitation." Mr. Collins apologetically replied.
"I will wait in the sitting room while you pack your valise, Mr. Collins and we will be on our way," Miss Lucas replied.
Smiling and continuing to thank Miss Lucas for her kindness Mr. Collins climbed the stairway that led to his room, ending his first visit to Longbourn.
Chapter II
"Mr. Collins, Welcome to Lucas Lodge," greeted Sir William Lucas warmly.
In his mind, Sir William was thinking of the great advantage of having Mr. Collins for a guest. He had heard of Miss Elizabeth's refusal to marry Mr. Collins, and having known her for most of her life he could readily believe that she would turn down a man like Mr. Collins. His thoughts at the present were not on Miss Elizabeth's refusal, but on the opportunity presented to his own dear Charlotte. She was now 27 years of age and not likely to wed. Thus he saw Mr. Collins arrival as a blessing in disguise. He had given up hope of her ever marrying, but now his hope was revived. Mr. Collins as the heir to Longbourn would do very well for his Charlotte, very well indeed.
Mr. Collins' ego was very much flattered by the attention paid to him by Miss Lucas and her family. He only wished that the one so dear to his heart had paid him this much attention. Though Miss Lucas was not a beauty like the Bennet girls, he found himself thinking of her as an acceptable choice to become his wife. Charlotte was quite attentive in listening to him and she seemed very amiable. By the end of the week Mr. Collins had come to a most logical conclusion, he would ask for Miss Lucas hand. But he would not take her answer for granted, as he did with Miss Elizabeth, no he would state his case, then await her verdict.
The next morning Mr. Collins, on coming into the drawing room, asked, "Miss Lucas would you care to take a turn in the garden?"
Charlotte smiled to herself and replied, "Of course Mr. Collins I would be delighted." They walked silently together until coming upon a small bench next to a hedgerow. There Mr. Collins inquired if Miss Lucas would care to rest and talk awhile. Miss Lucas smiled and sat down next to Mr. Collins.
"My dear Miss Lucas," Mr. Collins began, "I would like to request your hand in marriage."
Before Charlotte could answer he continued, "My dear Miss Lucas as a clergyman I feel it is my duty to set an example for my parishioners, and Lady Catherine De Bourgh also feels this way. Therefore I feel it incumbent that I should marry, thereby setting an example of domestic felicitude. I have much to offer a comfortable home, provided by my patroness, and a sound future being the heir to Longbourn, upon Mr. Bennet's death. I hope you will understand," here taking a long breath, "that had it not been my intention of making amends to my cousins for this inheritance, I would have singled you out," here he swallowed hard, "as the companion of my future life. I also want to assure you that I shall never make mention of your lack of fortune. I now ask you Miss Lucas to accept my humble proposal and make me the happiest of men." Having finished he took his hanky and wiped his brow.
Charlotte had sat listening to Mr. Collins patiently and now replied, "I will indeed become your wife."
Mr. Collins could barely contain his joy, but before he could announce it to the world Charlotte had made him promise that she would break the news to Elizabeth herself. Mr. Collins therefore went into the house to find Sir William and gain his consent. Soon it was no longer a secret and all of Meryton was talking of Charlotte Lucas' extraordinary good fortune.
Mr. Collins knew he had done the right thing. Charlotte would indeed be acceptable to Lady Catherine, and a most frugal wife. But his heart was aching for the one he could never have. As he retired that night he took out a small book of poetry that he carried with him, but never letting others see it and read.
We'll Go No More A-Roving
~ By Lord ByronSo, we'll go no more a-roving
So late into the night,
Though the heart be still as loving.
And the moon be still as bright.For the sword outwears its sheath
And the soul wears out the breast,
And the heart must pause to breathe,
And love itself have rest.Though the night was made for loving,
And the day returns too soon,
Yet we'll go no more a-roving
By the light of the moon.
He then went over to the small writing desk in his room and composed a note. In it he copied the poem he had just read, and he carefully left Lucas Lodge and walked to their secret spot. There he left the note telling his love that it was over and he was marrying Miss Lucas, because she would be acceptable to Lady Catherine, and he had to put his patroness before his own worldly happiness.
Chapter III
Having looked back at the past few weeks of his life, William Collins knew it was time to go forward with his life. He shook his head and wiped a stray tear from his eye. He then rose from his seat grabbing his cloak and hat he headed out the door to inform Lady Catherine of his intended bride. Walking down the lane, toward Rosings, he started thinking of his secret love. He could see her so vividly in his mind, a stout well-grown girl with a good complexion and a good-humored countenance. He had been shocked at first by her high animal spirits, but he came to admire her natural self-consequence. He knew he would miss her laugh and that little snorting sound she made at times. He remembered how embarrassed he had been when she had run into him in the hallway the night of the ball, not because he had never seen her that way, but because he was worried what others would think. He remembered her laughing about it later as they held each other in the little gazebo, later that evening when everyone else was asleep. He loved the way she called him her silly Willie. He in turn called her his little piggy. They had met several times in their secret hideaway, it was so secluded and forgotten that they easily could slip away to see each other. He had told her that he could not marry her, but she didn't seem to mind. They both knew that their lustful feelings would not be enough to overcome the total lack of propriety such a marriage, as theirs would have been.
Mr. Collins stopped and took a deep breath as he approached Rosings. He soon found the door opened to admit him. Following the servant, after he had been announced to her Ladyship, he found himself beginning to perspire. Wiping his brow with his kerchief he entered the sitting room.
"Mr. Collins, please tell me you were successful in finding a mate," her Ladyship inquired demandingly.
Mr. Collins began, "Indeed your Ladyship I have, she is a useful girl, as you suggested, who knows her place in society and I am sure she will…," here he was interrupted by her ladyship.
"Yes, yes but what is her name, her family, tell me at once!" she demanded.
So for the next hour Mr. Collins told Lady Catherine about Miss Lucas. He told her how Sir William Lucas had been knighted, about Charlotte's frugality and pleasing manners. When Lady Catherine questioned him about why he did not choose a wife from among his cousins he replied, "I found my cousins to be pleasant enough young ladies, but Miss Lucas is the best choice for me, she will be a credit to the parsonage and I am sure you will find her most obliging, your Ladyship." Having apologized for inconveniencing Lady Catherine, he excused himself explaining, he must finish preparing for his return trip to Meryton, and his marriage.
Lady Catherine agreed that he must not delay and told him to act with haste. Bowing and smiling at her Ladyship, Mr. Collins continued to apologize and walked out of the room as he continued paying his attentions to her. When he finally was seen out the front door he wiped his brow again and slowly made his way back to Hunsford and the task that lay ahead.
Chapter IV
Shortly after Mr. Collins had come back, after informing Lady Catherine of his marriage plans, he started his preparations for Charlotte. Lady Catherine had done quite a bit to the parsonage when Mr. Collins had first come to Hunsford; she had even had shelves put in the closets. All that was left for Mr. Collins to do was to make sure the house had a thorough cleaning and the special touches for his bride's chamber.
"Dawkins," Mr. Collins shouted, "have a care with that it is the future mistress' marriage gift form her Ladyship." Dawkins stood looking at the grotesque porcelain clock, he had never seen such a monstrosity before. It stood nearly two feet tall with cherubs perched on the top at either corner. It had a scantily clad nymph stretched across a small shelf just under the clock mechanism. There was an orange and red porcelain ribbon wrapped around the waist of each cherub then hanging down the sides of the clock. Dawkins thought to himself, "it would be better for the lady of the house if I did accidentally drop it."
Life at Hunsford parsonage had been hectic the past week. Dawkins had noticed a change in his master's demeanor. Mr. Collins could be quite demanding, even harsh at times, but now it seemed as if there was no pleasing him at all. As they stood at the clothes line Daisy, the housemaid, complained to Dawkins, "I've had to change the masters sheets everyday, he says that I'm not letting them dry well, he always complains of them being damp."
"Perhaps it is that the master is anxious about his marriage," Dawkins replied.
"Maybe so," Daisy answered worriedly,
"Well he does not seem quite like himself and he doesn't look like he is resting well," Dawkins interjected.
Daisy looked down at the sheets she had just removed from the line then she looked up at Dawkins and said," Thinking about it, I believe you are right. His bed is damp from sweat every morning and his covers are all askew." Dawkins just nodded and taking the basket from Daisy led the way back into the parsonage.
Indeed Mr. Collins was quite listless, and for good reason. He hadn't had a good nights sleep in days. His dreams of late had been full of her, his little piggy. Having woken up several times during the night, he often found his bed damp with sweat. He would toss and turn as he remembered her voluptuous body. He dreamed of holding her and kissing her neck, then he would wake and toss the covers back. Feeling he couldn't breath he would toss off his covers, dash to the window and open it to feel the evening breeze. No matter how he tried he couldn't stop the dreams.
"Dawkins, have a care," Mr. Collins shouted. Climbing upon his own humble equipage, he dejectedly said, "On to Meryton, Dawkins."
"Yes, on to Meryton and Miss Lucas," he thought.
Then in deep reflection he mused, "I wish things could be different, but that is not to be." For the remainder of the trip Dawkins noticed that the masters demeanor was not one joy, he did not resemble a man in love, but a man in mourning.
Chapter V
Kitty Bennet stood amusing herself, with her favorite toy, in front of Longbourn Manor. Suddenly she spied someone approaching the house, the realization of who it was sprang from her lips, "Lord, look who's coming it's Mr. Collins." Her younger sister Lydia sat up and starred at the driveway.
"Did you hear me Lydia?" she shouted.
"Lydia? Now where in the devil did she go?" she asked herself.
She soon spied Lydia running off toward the garden. Running after her she yelled, "Wait for me, I don't wish to sit with him either."
Lydia didn't seem to hear her though as she ran even faster. Kitty not being a great runner just turned and walked away toward the garden on the other side of the house. Lydia always seemed to favor the flower garden at the back of the house. This was her favorite garden, lately though she had noticed Lydia had been spending a great amount of time in it alone. This puzzled Kitty, since Lydia had always seemed to favor the flower garden at the back of the house.
Mrs. Bennet did her best to welcome Mr. Collins back, but she still felt badly used. She instructed Hill to see to it that Mr. Collins bags were taken to his room. After inquiring about Lady Catherine's opinion of Miss Lucas as a bride, she informed Mr. Collins quite coolly that he would be in the same room as his last visit. Mr. Collins, after making his apologizes to Mrs. Bennet left to freshen up, at least that is what he told her. Walking toward the stairway he looked back to see if anyone was watching. When he was assured that the coast was clear he silently went out the front door and made his way toward the garden. He knew what he was contemplating was wrong, very wrong; but he knew he had to see her one last time.
As he walked towards the little gazebo, which sat behind a hedgerow beneath the trees, he thought he heard a giggle. "Oh, she must be there," he whispered under his breath. With great haste he picked up his pace closing in on the gazebo and its hidden occupant. Inside, the gazebo, the young lady concealed there held her breath. She was well concealed indeed, for her small abode was covered in layers of ivy. Peeking out through the ivy, she saw Mr. Collins drawing ever closer to her hideout. She was finding it difficult to keep still, stifling a giggle she drew in an even deeper breath. Thinking of her there waiting for him, he moved even quicker, indeed he seemed to quicken his pace all the more as he drew closer to her. Moving away from her present position, in case he would spy her through the ivy, she moved back against the far wall of the gazebo. Upon reaching his goal, he stopped to catch his breath. Then he reached out grabbing the ivy that hung over the opening and entered.
"Cousin Kitty! You startled me, I (gulping) came out here for some solitude, please excuse me," he apologized as he turned away in order to hide his disappointment. Mr. Collins then hastened back to the house, leaving Kitty quite mystified.
"It is like he expected someone else," she mused.
The Bennet family did not see much of Mr. Collins the rest of his stay, as he always seemed to be more at Lucas Lodge than Longbourn. Indeed Mrs. Bennet wondered why he even bothered to stay with them. It was left up to Elizabeth to remind her mother, "Mother, it would not be proper for him and Charlotte to stay under the same roof until they were married." So it was that Mr. Collins ended his second stay on the day he was wed to Miss Lucas.
Chapter VI Conclusion
Charlotte Lucas Collins found her life at Hunsford Parsonage satisfactory, but strange. On first arriving, at her new home, she had been apprehensive about her new life. She worried about what would be expected of her, by Mr. Collins. Her wedding night had been spent under the roof of her parent's home, so Mr. Collins had assured her that he would wait to consummate their nuptials on reaching Hunsford. But they had been married for over a month now and he had yet sought her out. Night after night she had waited for the knock on her bedchamber door. She began to worry that she had made a hasty decision, entering into marriage with such a man. Charlotte found that being a parson's wife was quite demanding. She had not only her household to run, but visits to the parishioners, rich and poor alike. She found that these duties were a relief to her worried mind; since they kept her mind off her own problem.
Charlotte found Lady Catherine to be quite an attentive neighbor. Her Ladyship would drop by often and not always conveniently. Mr. Collins though had stressed on many occasions the importance of obliging his/their patroness.
"Mrs. Collins," he would say, "Charlotte it is imperative that you drop whatever you are doing when her Ladyship deems it necessary to visit. Do not forget madam that we owe all to her Ladyships benevolence and condescension, indeed if not for her you would not be here as it was on her advice I went in search of an agreeable companion."
Charlotte, after listening to his advice merely nodded her head and replied, "Yes Mr. Collins, whatever you say."
Indeed Mr. Collins found her to be a very agreeable companion. He had worried that she would demand that he consummate their marriage, but since she hadn't he felt it unnecessary to do so, at this time. The Collins spent little time together in the same room, Charlotte had her little sitting room where she could work on her needlework without interruption and he had his bookroom where he wrote his sermons and read poetry. Both rooms provided a view of the road to its occupants, in case Lady Catherine should drive by. That is exactly where they were the day Miss Elizabeth Bennet and Maria Lucas arrived for their intended visit. Mrs. Collins had been waiting eagerly by her window, so at the first site of the carriage she cried out, "Mr. Collins they are here, Lizzy is here." On hearing this Mr. Collins ran from his room and he and Charlotte exited the front door together eager for some new company.
"Lizzy, welcome to our home," Charlotte cried as Elizabeth descended from the carriage. Mr. Collins nodded and wringing his hands smiled then greeted their visitors, "Cousin Elizabeth, sister, Sir William," welcome to Hunsford. Sir William nodded and shook Mr. Collins hand and kissed his daughter on the cheek. "I am very glad to be here even if it is but for one night, capitol, capitol," Sir William replied. Charlotte wanted very much to confide in Lizzy about her problem, but she found that she would have to wait. Lady Catherine sent a messenger to the parsonage informing them that she would wait upon Mr. and Mrs. Collins guests when they had arrived. So after settling them into their rooms, showing them around the parsonage and changing from their traveling clothes the guests found themselves being introduced to the great lady herself. After spending an evening at Rosings the guests were quite tired so all repaired to their bedchambers for the night.
The next day, after seeing her father off, Charlotte and Lizzy finally found time to talk. "Lizzy, how is your family." Charlotte asked.
"Oh, they are all well; although Lydia has seemed a bit glum since your wedding," Lizzy replied.
"Why, what seems to be wrong with her?" Charlotte queried.
"Who knows with Lydia, it's probably because the officers haven't been over recently. I'm sure she will get over it, with a few visits from Denny and the others," she laughed.
At that Charlotte started laughing, suddenly she burst into tears. Lizzy didn't know what to do, she put her arms around Charlotte and said," Why, Charlotte whatever is the matter?" while trying to comfort her friend.
"Its Mr. Collins, we, oh how can I tell you. We are man and wife, but not yet lovers," she answered weakly as the tears ran down her cheeks.
"Charlotte, I can't believe it! You mean your marriage has not been uh," Lizzy suddenly found herself speechless.
"Yes, that's just what I mean!" Charlotte cried.
The two friends talked for nearly an hour, and Lizzy tried to come up with a reason for Mr. Collins behavior. It was soon decided on that Charlotte would just have to be patient with her husband, they surmised he was just shy, extremely shy. Charlotte exacted a promise from Lizzy that she would keep her secret and Lizzy agreed. For the rest of her visit Lizzy would often talk to Charlotte on long walks and encourage her to be patient. These walks seemed to help Charlotte immensely and when Lizzy left she saw that her friend seemed happier; although not fulfilled.
As the summer passed Mr. Collins started to notice Charlotte more, but he still could not bear to knock on her door. The Collins lived very friendly; taking walks and paying visits together. Mr. Collins began to think he had indeed made a good choice of a wife, she was his friend, his companion; but he still dreamt of Lydia.
"Mr. Collins," Charlotte called one day after reading a letter from her mother. "Oh it is too terrible, the poor Bennets."
Mr. Collins face turned white, "What about the Bennets, wife!"
"Oh it is horrible, hear read my mothers letter," she said handing it to him.
I am writing you as I get ready to visit the Bennets. They are in great need of solace. It seems that Miss Lydia has run off, eloped, with Mr. Wickham. It is too horrible, what will become of the others I do not know. Well anyway Mr. Bennet has gone to London to track them down, but I doubt anything can be done. I just thought you should know, considering they are your family now. I'll write more later.
Charlotte,
After finishing the letter Mr. Collins was speechless. He handed it back to Charlotte and mumbled something about Lady Catherine before running out the door toward Rosings.
Charlotte noticed a change in Mr. Collins the next few days. He seemed dejected as if he had learned something unbelievable about Lydia. Charlotte found herself informing him about how many in Meryton had felt Mrs. Bennet was lax in her duties with Lydia. Charlotte told him how Lydia was let to run wild, and how often Lizzy had asked her mother to check this wild behavior. Mrs. Bennet it seemed had been much like Lydia as a girl and saw nothing wrong in her behavior. "In fact," Charlotte informed him," it is rumored that is how Mrs. Bennet caught Mr. Bennet." This information made a big impact on Mr. Collins; he excused himself and went to his bookroom where he wrote a letter. On exiting his room he informed Charlotte he would go to Longbourn to commiserate with the Bennet family.
Mr. Collins traveled to Longbourn the next morning and arrived to not the friendliest welcome. Miss Jane seemed cordial enough, but Miss Lizzy was rather harsh. She pointed out to him the evil of his being seen with her family and showed him the door. Mr. Collins left quite satisfied with having done his duty to the Bennets. Before he left though he had one more errand to do, he sighed heavily as he walked toward the little gazebo. On entering the gazebo, many thoughts went through his mind, a tear slipped down his cheek, as he thought of her. He knelt by the bench where the hidden compartment was and opening it deposited a letter. He closed the compartment and walked to his rig.
Mr. Collins walked into his humble abode that evening, after arriving back from Longbourn. He walked up the stairs to his room, pausing shortly before continuing on to the door at the end of the hall. He knocked softly and heard "Enter", which he did.
After Lydia and Wickham arrived at Longbourn a married couple, Lydia heard of Mr. Collins visit. She excused herself and went for a walk to the gazebo, there she found the letter just as Mr. Collins hoped she would. She opened it and read:
Lydia,If you ever return to this place this poem will tell you my feelings.
When We Two Parted
By Lord ByronWhen we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted
To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
Sorrow to this.The dew of the morning
Sunk chill on my brow-
It felt like the warning
Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
And light is they fame:
I hear thy name spoken,
And share in its shame.They name thee before me,
A knell to mine ear;
A shudder comes o'er me-
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee too well:
Long, long shall I rue thee,
Too deeply to tell.In secret we met-
In silence I grieve,
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive.
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee?
With silence and tears.Farewell Lydia,
I now know what love really is.
THE END