Posted on Saturday, 19 December 1998

The works of Jane Austen
I'm sure you'll agree
Are polished and pretty
As ever they'll be.

Though charming and witty
Is all very well,
There's still things that
Jane dear omitted to tell.

Like: Did Mrs. Bennet
See five daughters wed?
Or was she still nagging
Upon her death bed?

Did Jane have ten children?
Did that come to nil?
For who would have taught them
To play very ill?

Did Lizzy and Darcy
Sleep one whole night through?
(From stories I read
I'd say very few!)

Did Charlotte and spouse
Ever ... "You Know"...
No, wait, please don't answer,
I don't want to know.

Fitzwilliam / Studmuffin!
Our hero in breeches.
Did he ever marry?
Do tell, I beseech y's.

With so many mysteries
Yet to unfold
You'd best get to writing -
There's much to be told!