ACT I (Overture -- "Intimate Strangers")
Author's Note: You've read the novel, you've seen the films, but now it is finally here: Pride and Prejudice has been adapted as an epic opera. Fear not, there is no need to understand German or Italian to appreciate this masterpiece of high culture, since the score has already been written: popular songs of the 20th century, composed by dozens of different artists and selected for their perfect illustration of Jane Austen's brilliant libretto.My thanks to the Mysterious H.C. for posting three Jane Austen song lists written by others. I did not copy any of their ideas, but they unintentionally inspired this magnum opus. The following are all real song titles. I have not listed the artists to save space, but if you're curious, you know how a search engine works! ;-)
The curtain rises to reveal Mr. and Mrs. Bennet singing the necessary exposition. They introduce themselves as the most important family in Meryton ("The Oldest Established") and briefly discuss their daughters: blonde, blue-eyed Jane ("The Most Beautiful Girl In The World"), quick-witted Elizabeth ("Wonder Of Wonders"), Mary ("The Girl With the Weight of the World in Her Hands"), Kitty ("Sullen Girl") and, of course, Lydia ("Shameless"). They learn that the young and single Mr. Bingley has rented Netherfield Hall and sing a duet expressing their different ideals of marriage (She -- "Money, Money"; He -- "Peace").
An assembly ball is held in Meryton, throwing the Bennet household into querulous excitement (Lydia -- "Let's Live It Up", Kitty -- "Don't Touch My Hat", Mr. Bennet -- "Why Can't You Behave?"). At the ball, everyone is eager to see the wealthy new arrivals from London ("Center Stage"). The Netherfield group, reacting to the ball, reveals their characters in quintet: Bingley ("This Is a Lovely Way To Spend An Evening"), his friend Mr. Darcy ("Cold Feet"), brother-in-law Mr. Hurst ("Someone Keeps Moving My Chair"), Louisa Hurst ("You and Me and the Bottle Makes Three Tonight"), and, of course, his sister Caroline ("The Grand Parade Of Lifeless Packaging"). Bingley falls for the gorgeous Jane ("Fascinating New Thing"). Darcy sees Elizabeth but snubs her, not knowing she is within earshot ("Trouble Keeping My Big Mouth Shut"), and his poor social manners run like wildfire through Meryton's gossips ("Chain of Fools"). After the ball, Jane is delighted by Bingley's attention to her ("I've Never Been In Love Before"), while Lizzy takes Darcy to task ("Mr. Pitiful").
Shortly after the ball, Lizzy's family calls on their friends the Lucases, who are worried that their homely 27-year-old daughter Charlotte may never marry ("Pressure"). Charlotte is running out of hope that she will find a good husband ("Someday Never Comes"), and she and Lizzy sing of their polar-opposite marriage views (Lizzy -- "Waiting For The Big One", Charlotte -- "Secure Yourself").
The next day Jane is invited to Netherfield. She is not eager to ride there in the rain ("A Person Could Develop A Cold"), but is sent anyway and gets sick ("Told You So"). Lizzy walks through the muddy countryside to visit her and reveals her spirit in a glorious solo ("I Feel Free"). At Netherfield she is greeted with contempt by Bingley's sisters ("Damp Ankles"/"The Babysitter's Here"), but draws the interest of Darcy, especially when he sees her playing with Bingley's dog ("Hearts and Bones").
Developing a new theme which will be central to the opera, the Netherfield residents and guests sing about evenings spent in drawing-rooms ("The Games People Play"). Caroline makes repeated and futile attempts to get Darcy's attention ("Digging In The Dirt") while Lizzy pretends to read ("She Loves To Watch"). Darcy clumsily attempts to attract Lizzy's notice ("Shall We Dance?") but she has so much fun sparring with him ("I Love To Laugh") that he pointedly retreats into his book to avoid revealing his interest in her ("The Sound of Silence"). After Jane recovers, both girls return to Longbourn; Bingley is completely delighted with Jane ("Heaven's Here On Earth") and Darcy muses on his feelings for Lizzy ("I've Grown Accustomed To Her Face").
Mr. Bennet receives news of the arrival of his pompous clergyman cousin Mr. Collins, and sarcastically reacts ("Something's Coming"). He's one of two new men entering the Bennets' life that day; the other is a handsome and charming young officer named Wickham. They enter on opposite sides and sing an expository duet, Collins about his desire to snare a wife effortlessly ("With A Little Bit Of Luck"), and Wickham about his self-image ("Hypnotist of Ladies"). Collins arrives at Longbourn, makes a terrible but amusing first impression ("Father O'Blivion"), and accompanies the Bennet girls to Meryton, where they meet Wickham for the first time ("Chorus Of Sighs"). At that moment Bingley and Darcy approach; Darcy and Wickham are shocked to see each other in town and Lizzy wonders why ("Strenuous Acquaintances").
The Bennets' Uncle Phillips invites the officers for a party, where they sing a slightly tipsy chorus about comradeship ("Brothers in Arms"). There Elizabeth is immediately drawn to Wickham ("I Love Trouble"). He reveals that Mr. Collins' patron, Lady Catherine, is Darcy's aunt, and that Darcy is expected to marry her daughter Anne ("Don't Ask Me Why"). In gloomy minor key, he tells Lizzy a sob story about Darcy ruining his financial prospects ("Nobody Loves You When You're Down and Out") and she readily believes him ("Her First Mistake"). She relates the news to Jane; in a contrasting duet, Jane attempts to find reasons for Darcy's behavior ("Misunderstood"), but Lizzy is considerably less forgiving ("Pig").
The Netherfield Ball opens in grand style, with dozens of people dressed to the nines ("Puttin' On The Ritz"). Wickham is conspicuously absent, as noted by a chorus of disappointed ladies ("Invisible Man"). Lizzy suffers through two dances with Mr. Collins ("Your Feet's Too Big!") and Darcy seizes the moment of her release to ask for the next one ("Let's Face the Music and Dance"), to the surprise and shock of the other guests ("Amazing"). While dancing she needles him relentlessly about his treatment of Wickham ("Cynical Girl"). Alone afterwards, Darcy is angered by her favoritism ("How Could You Have Him When You Know You Could Have Me?"), but makes excuses for her behavior and lays the blame on the absent officer ("Chickenman"). Caroline warns her about Wickham ("Shame On You") but is so insolent that Lizzy disregards her ("There She Goes Again"). However, shortly thereafter Lizzy's relatives begin to flirt shamelessly and behave with a total lack of social grace ("Open All Night"). Lizzy is mortified ("Dig My Grave").
The next day Mr. Collins settles on Lizzy as his marriage choice ("The Obvious Child"). In a rollicking patter song, he professes undying love while she contradicts him (He -- "You Are My Only One", She -- "I Am Not The Only One"). Finally she succeeds in making him accept her refusal ("'Never' Is A Promise"). Lizzy worries that her parents will disapprove, but her father reassures her that it wasn't his idea ("That Was Your Mother"). Collins then proposes to Charlotte Lucas ("Bounce Right Back") and is gratefully accepted, though not without a few misgivings ("Lucky Ball and Chain"). Lizzy cannot believe the news ("Hearing Aid") but Charlotte defends her choice ("The Best Of What's Around").
At this moment Jane receives a letter from Caroline Bingley stating that the entire Netherfield party has gone to London and will not return ("Bye Bye, Baby"); she also hints that Bingley is certain to marry Darcy's sister Georgiana ("Higher Love"). Jane believes Bingley no longer loves her ("It's Probably Me") but Lizzy warns her about Caroline's real intentions ("Flinty Kind of Woman") and points out that the move was so abrupt that Bingley's sisters must have manipulated it ("Greased Lightning"). The act ends with a quintet: Caroline revels in her malicious success ("Narrow Your Eyes"), Jane is disconsolate ("My Love's Leaving"), Lizzy consoles her ("Things Can Only Get Better"), and the Reverend and Mrs. Collins head for Hunsford Parsonage and their new life together (He -- "Look, Mama!", She -- "Kiss That Frog").
ACT II (Overture -- "Court and Spark")
In London, Jane attempts to contact Bingley but is puzzled to be thwarted by his sisters ("Chill Factor"). Eventually she realizes that they only pretended to like her and in a tragic aria, she gives up all hope of marrying Bingley ("Mirage"). Lizzy is very angry to get the news ("Slow Burn").
After two months of boredom at Longbourn ("A Long Wait For Spring"), Lizzy goes to London to see Jane and relates to Mrs. Gardiner that Wickham has turned his attentions to the heiress Mary King ("The Man That Got Away"). Mrs. Gardiner suspects his motives but Lizzy makes excuses for him ("Blind Faith"). To cheer her up, the Gardiners invite her on a summer tour, whose itinerary they will plan as they go along ("Destination Anywhere"). Lizzy is delighted and sings a happy little travel song in anticipation ("The Road And The Sky").
She then goes to Hunsford Parsonage to visit Charlotte Collins, who seems to have settled down acceptably ("It Only Hurts When I Laugh"), but her husband, singing of his new hobby ("Honey Bee"), is still pompously in awe of his patroness, Lady Catherine ("Big Shot"). They dine at Rosings, where Lizzy immediately assesses the aggressive, overbearing Lady Catherine and her pale and sickly daughter Anne ("Hammer And A Nail"). Lady Catherine's manners are terrible; she constantly criticizes Lizzy for not practicing the piano, not having a governess, and having four sisters all out at once ("Pick a Little, Talk a Little, Pick a Little, Talk a Little"). Lizzy replies with great spirit and humor, even thought she suspects she is the first person who has dared to trifle with Lady Catherine ("Gotta Lotta Nerve").
Lizzy learns that Mr. Darcy will be visiting his aunt for Easter and looks forward to the amusement of observing them together ("I Love To Laugh" -- reprise). Darcy arrives bringing his cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam ("Two Princes"). In another drawing room scene ("The Games People Play" -- reprise), the Colonel and Lizzy get along splendidly ("You're The Top") and Darcy is embarrassed by his aunt's rudeness ("Why Me?"). Sparks begin to fly when Lizzy plays piano and Darcy watches her intently ("Heat Of The Night"). This leads to a prolonged match of verbal one-upsmanship in which she teases Darcy, in front of his relatives, about his assembly ball manners and Darcy tries to respond with dignity (She -- "Wallflower", He -- "A Model Of Decorum And Tranquillity", She -- "Is There A Difference?", He -- "Back To The Wall", She -- "Which Describes How You're Feeling", He -- "Hit Me With Your Best Shot", She -- "Mighty Mouse", He -- "Let's Call The Whole Thing Off"). Darcy shows no interest in his supposed fiancée, Anne de Bourgh, but she can't follow their conversation anyway ("Lady In The Dark").
The next day Darcy calls on Elizabeth unexpectedly but can't seem to get a conversation started ("What Time Is It?"). Charlotte appears and he leaves abruptly ("I'm Already Gone"), so she accurately guesses the reason for his visit ("Too Much Love To Hide"). Lizzy laughs at her ("Dream On").
Over the next few weeks the men call at Hunsford daily, but Darcy alternates extended periods of silence with idle questions ("Stop And Start It All Again"). In an aside, he curses himself for his awkward behavior ("If I Wasn't So Shy"). Elizabeth can't figure him out ("Why Don't You Stop Making Small Talk?") and notices that he is constantly running into her when she goes for her daily walk, then accompanying her for the rest of it ("Come Together"). They express their private thoughts in parallel solos (She -- "Strange Chance", He -- "The Things We Do For Love"/"My Poor, Poor Feet").
One day Lizzy goes walking and encounters Colonel Fitzwilliam instead ("Hey, Kind Friend"). In lyrical recitative, he reveals that Darcy has kept postponing their departure for reasons he cannot fathom ("Slow Like Honey"). He also complains that he will have to think about money when he marries because the family fortune goes to his elder brother ("Born At The Right Time"). Lizzy wonders if this is meant as a sort of apology to her ("One Part Be My Lover, One Part Go Away"). Finally, he lets slip that Darcy broke up her sister's relationship with Bingley because Darcy regarded the Bennets as inferior ("Lovers' Cross"). Lizzy is absolutely furious ("Don't Give That Girl A Gun") and refuses to go to Rosings for dinner that evening, to Lady Catherine's annoyance ("Kill The Messenger").
Learning she is alone at Hunsford, Darcy comes to see her and professes that he can suppress his admiration no longer ("Hard To Be In Love With You"). In a dazzling series of verbal and musical fireworks, he arrogantly describes her as socially inferior and then proposes marriage ("Pride In the Name of Love"/"Give Me Your Kisses"). Lizzy turns him down ("Give Me One Reason"). Besides lambasting his bad manners ("Mr. Pitiful" -- reprise), she accuses him of ruining both her sister and Wickham ("Nosey Joe"). At first indignant ("It Ought To Be Easier"), then depressed ("You Wreck Me"), he leaves and spends the night in self-searching ("The Dark Night of the Soul"). He decides to risk revealing his version of events ("Tell Her About It"), which he writes down and presents to Lizzy the next morning ("Before You Accuse Me"). As Lizzy reads, we see, in flashback, her family's poor behavior at assembly balls ("Open All Night" -- reprise), and Wickham's attempt to elope with Georgiana and Darcy's intervention ("Don't You Mess Around With My Little Sister"). In a background solo while Lizzy reads, Darcy describes Wickham's low character and financial duplicity ("Brilliant Disguise"). Lizzy suddenly realizes her prejudice has been based on hearsay ("Wake Me Up On Judgement Day") and wonders what ever got into her ("My Evil Twin").
Life has gotten so tense that all the guests leave Rosings ("Time To Move On"). Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam depart singing a morose duet (Darcy -- "Lonely With A Broken Heart", Colonel Fitzwilliam -- "To Wish Impossible Things"), but Lizzy is delighted to get out of there ("The Last Worthless Evening"). Lady Catherine, of course, tries to stampede over everyone's travel plans ("If I Ruled The World").
Lizzy and Jane return to Longbourn where their family happily greets them ("How Does It Feel To Be Back?"). Mr. Bennet asks Lizzy about her trip to Kent but she evades the question ("I Could Write A Book"). However, she is so distraught about Darcy's letter that she immediately confides in Jane ("Can't Keep It In"). Lizzy makes the critical decision not to warn the rest of their family about Wickham since it doesn't concern them personally ("We Didn't Start The Fire"). Jane agrees to say nothing ("You May Be Right").
The Meryton regiment departs for Brighton (soldiers' chorus, in cadence -- "Movin' Out") to the delight of the sensible members of the Bennet clan ("Gone At Last"). Lydia and Kitty are morose about how boring town will be without the officers ("Stone Cold Dead In The Market") and constantly chatter about following them ("Birdhouse"). Their mother approves, but not their father ("Split Decision"). However, Lydia is invited to go under the supervision of Colonel Forster's wife, who is only marginally older than she ("Sixteen Going On Seventeen"). Lizzy is horrified and warns her father that Lydia will disgrace them all if he does not control her behavior ("Freedom Overspill"), but he thinks it will only reflect badly on the younger ones ("Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves"). The youngest Bennet daughter giddily runs around the house demanding attention from everyone ("I Will Not Go Quietly").
The Gardiners come to pick up Lizzy for their summer tour ("Destination Anywhere" -- reprise), and they set off after enduring a chorus of travel advice from well-meaning relatives ("Get Out The Map", "Button Up Your Overcoat", "Don't Drink The Water").
Meanwhile, Lydia joyously arrives in Brighton ("Back In The High Life Again") where she meets up again with Wickham ("Bad Moon Rising"). They discover that they both love a good time ("Rock This Town") and she falls for his insidious romantic lines ("Sapphire Bullets of Pure Love"). Trouble looms on the horizon, as noted by an ominous chorus of onlookers ("Heavy Clouds But No Rain").
ACT III (Overture -- "Commotion")
The housekeeper, Mrs. Reynolds, shows them around the gorgeously appointed home, chatting all the time about what a fine landlord and master Mr. Darcy is ("This Is Not The House That Pain Built"). The Gardiners sing about how the house's furnishings reflect the excellent taste and character of the owner ("Room Full Of Mirrors"). Eventually they reach the portrait gallery ("Hall of Heads") where Lizzy stares for some time at the pictures of Darcy and Wickham ("In Your Eyes"). Mrs. Reynolds confirms Wickham's difficult character ("Problem Child").
While they are walking outside, Darcy suddenly appears from the pond, where he was swimming after a hot, dusty ride back from London ("The Cool, Cool Water"). His surprise and joy at seeing Lizzy again are checked by the mortifying realization that he is soaking wet ("I Can't Stand It"). Lizzy, for her part, is rather intrigued ("Strange Fire"). Darcy races inside to change clothes and try to straighten out his hair ("Tangled And Dark").
After some awkward pleasantries ("I Remember You"), Darcy takes a warm interest in the Gardiners ("I'd Like To Get To Know You Better"). In an urgent soliloquy he quickly tries to think of another means of impressing Lizzy ("There Must Be A Way") and asks to introduce her to his sister. The Gardiners are very impressed with him and accept his hospitality ("The Man With The Magic Touch"), while Lizzy is amazed by his improved manners ("Fantastic"). Lizzy gets along splendidly with Georgiana, who is devoted to her brother ("Keeper Of My Heart"), and they play piano and sing together one evening while Darcy watches adoringly ("If You Could See What I Hear"). With so many recommendations in Darcy's favor, Lizzy begins to wonder if she has made a mistake ("Wake Up Call").
The next day, at the inn in Lambton, Lizzy receives shocking news from Jane ("The Letter"): Lydia has run away with Wickham and they are living together without benefit of matrimony ("Rollin' and Tumblin"). At precisely this moment Darcy pays a surprise visit ("Crawling Back To You"), but discovers Lizzy an emotional wreck; they sing a touching duet ("Hold My Hand"/"When A Woman Cries"). She relates the problem ("Private Conversation"), and he secretly resolves to do everything in his power to remedy the situation ("I Go To Extremes").
That night Caroline Bingley sings of her belief that she can still win Darcy ("Cockeyed Optimist"). In pursuit of this goal she insults Lizzy in front of him ("Humdrum") but he loses his temper ("Cut It Out!") and stalks off, muttering under his breath about where she should go to socialize in the future ("Tea In The Sahara").
Lizzy returns to Longbourn to find the house as she expected ("Helter Skelter") and Mr. Bennet gone to London to try to find Lydia ("Has Anybody Seen My Gal?"). Meanwhile, Darcy tracks down the couple in a seedy flat ("The Dark End of the Street") and tries but fails to persuade Lydia to return home ("50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"). Then he confronts Wickham ("Another Showdown"). Wickham swears that Lydia threw herself at him ("She Came In Through The Bathroom Window") but reveals that he had to leave Brighton owing to outstanding debts ("This Cat's On a Hot Tin Roof"). Darcy realizes that he can bring about their marriage through bribery, and he and Wickham enter a series of difficult negotiations (Wickham -- "Minimum Wage", Darcy -- "How Bad Do You Want It?").
Mr. Bennet meets up with Mr. Gardiner ("Hello Brother"), but the combined insistence of all Lydia's relatives ("Marry the Man Today!") fails to rectify the situation (Wickham -- "Call A Lawyer And Sue Me"). After Bennet gives up and leaves Mr. Gardiner to deal with it ("I Guess I'll Take The Papers And Go Home"), Darcy visits and explains the negotiated deal. In a fast, furious recitative, Gardiner insists on paying Wickham's debts himself ("Let It Be Me"), but Darcy wins out ("Can't Do Anything To Stop Me Now") and Gardiner is forced to concede ("You're The Boss").
Bennet receives a letter from Gardiner with the good news: Lydia will marry Wickham as soon as the financial details are wrapped up ("Signed, Sealed, Delivered"). Bennet is relieved but furious about the debt he thinks he will eventually have to repay ("Someday, Someway"). Lizzy realizes her youngest sister will have to bear a scarred reputation for the rest of her life ("Lydia, The Tattooed Lady"). Mrs. Bennet makes plans for an elaborate wedding ("Warehouse"), while her husband and daughters, in four part harmony with Mary on piano accompaniment, wonder why she never learns ("Still Crazy After All These Years").
ACT IV (Overture -- "How the Heart Approaches What It Yearns")
Wickham tries to make light of his behavior in London ("Only Joking") but Lizzy reveals that she knows his true character ("I Can Read Your Mind"). She is willing to be civil but has come around to Darcy's view of Wickham ("Strenuous Acquaintances" -- reprise).
Meanwhile, at Netherfield, Darcy confesses to Bingley his interference in Bingley's love life and berates himself using Lizzy's words from Hunsford ("Nosey Joe" -- reprise). As soon as Bingley discovers he was misled about Jane, he rushes straight to Longbourn ("Ricochet"). In a lovely medley, he explains his mistake in leaving her ("Running From An Angel"), proclaims his enduring love ("Since I Laid Eyes On You"), and proposes ("Please, Baby"). Jane delightedly accepts ("Love's Recovery"). The Bennets hold a crowded celebratory dinner filled with an ebullient chattering chorus ("Nice People, Nice Talk"). Darcy and Lizzy are both embarrassed and, in parallel soliloquies, each waits for the other to speak first ("Come Talk To Me"). When neither makes the first move, each assumes the other has lost interest ("I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry").
A few days thereafter, Lady Catherine unexpectedly arrives ("Big Shot" -- reprise). She has heard of a rumored engagement between Lizzy and Darcy ("Buzz, Buzz") and demands that Lizzy repudiate it ("Sledgehammer"). Lizzy, of course, refuses to give any such assurance ("Don't Get Me Wrong"). Lady Catherine indignantly leaves and relates the news in her own inimitable way to Mr. Darcy ("Steam"). She also tries the guilt-trip thing ("You Won't Be Satisfied Until You Break My Heart").
Darcy realizes Lizzy's meaning and heads straight for Longbourn ("Running On Faith"). They set out for a walk properly accompanied by Kitty, but fortunately she takes a detour ("Maria"). Lizzy immediately surprises Darcy by expressing her knowledge that he rescued her sister ("It Had To Be You") and thanking him profusely ("What A Wonderful Guy!"). He proposes again but leaves the final decision up to her ("What Would You Say?"/"Tell It Like It Is"). Lizzy happily accepts ("Teach Me About Love"/"I'm Ready"). They reflect upon their courtship ("You and Me of the 10,000 Wars") and both apologize for their prior behavior ("I Didn't Mean A Word I Said"). The exact nature of Darcy's response is left unspecified by Jane Austen ("The Language or The Kiss?"), but his meaning is perfectly clear ("I Can't Believe You're In Love With Me").
The happy couples decide on a double wedding ("Least Complicated") and to a happy crowd of well wishers ("So Long, Farewell, Good-bye") and Mrs. Bennet's rejoicing ("Three Hits"/"Hallelujah!"), head off for their new lives together (ensemble final chorus -- "What a Wonderful World").