Beginning, Previous Section, Section V
Chapter 19
Charles watched the bustle of activity as nurses and attendants moved equipment, tubes and IV's into order around his friend's hospital bed. Will lay unmoving. He had been heavily sedated for the trip to Sheffield and was not expected to wake for another hour or two.
When only one nurse remained in the room, checking monitors and securing tubes, Charles moved to draw a chair up at Will's side. He studied the other man's still form while wondering how things could have gotten so out of hand.
Despite the fact that he'd been told Will's condition had improved immeasurably since he was admitted to hospital, Charles was shocked to see how pale and weak his friend appeared. After numerous transfusions he had still not regained a healthy colour. Although his lung had responded and seemed to be functioning normally, the stab wounds would take quite a while to heal yet. Will would need to spend another few days in hospital before being allowed to go home to Pemberley, and that would only be under care of a hired nurse. Elizabeth had already made arrangements for the best care they could find. She told Charles that Will wasn't going to leave her sight from this point forward, and he could tell she meant it from the grim look she'd levelled at him.
"Mr. Bingley?" came the low voice of the nurse on duty. He looked up. "I'll call you when he wakes, if you like. You don't need to wait here."
Charles smiled gratefully. "Thanks. I think I'll let his wife know that he's settled in."
He made his way through the corridors to the nursery, where he found Elizabeth and Jane. His sister-in-law was holding her daughter's tiny hand as she lay in the incubator. Charles watched for a moment, reluctant to disturb them.
"What are you going to say to him, Lizzie?" Jane asked in a quiet voice.
Elizabeth bowed her head, her eyes closed as if in pain. "I haven't figured that out yet, Jane. I'm so angry with Will, yet he's hardly in any condition to be receiving my rebukes. His foolishness very nearly cost us our daughter's life as well as his own!"
"Lizzie, you could very well have been lost to us, too. If Charles hadn't remembered that clearing where you and Will picnic...... I don't even want to think about it." She shook her head, trying to dispel the gloomy thought.
"Hey there, my favourite ladies." Charles said with a false cheerfulness. He peered in at his niece and smiled. "She's beautiful, Lizzie."
"She is that, Charles." Elizabeth smiled tenderly at her baby. "Did you come to tell me that Will is here?"
Charles nodded. "He's all settled into his room, but he won't be awake for a bit, yet. The trip here was a little rough and they had to give him a heavy dose of painkillers. The nurse on duty said she'd let us know when he comes around."
"I'd like to go sit with him anyway, if you don't mind."
"Sure. Do you want me to take you to him?"
Elizabeth shook her head. "No. I'd rather go by myself. Thanks, Charles." She left the two of them in the nursery and headed for her husband's room.
Outside the door she paused to draw a breath and steady her nerves. She wasn't quite sure what to expect when she entered the room, but the sight of Will's unmoving body caused her step to falter. Elizabeth placed a hand against the doorframe for support. She stood silently watching until she could detect the gentle rise and fall of his breathing, then she continued forward to the edge of the bed.
"Oh, Will," she breathed, and impatiently brushed away a tear as it rolled down her cheek. "Why does everything have to be so complicated for us?"
Pulling the chair closer to the bedside, Elizabeth sat down and reached for her husband's hand. Holding it firmly, she laid her head down beside him and let the tears silently fall.
"I'm sorry." Will didn't dare look up from his feet.
"Don't tell me." his father's voice intoned sharply. "I'm not the one you hurt with your actions."
Will cringed inside. He wondered at his own stupidity. What was he thinking?
"Well? What are you waiting for? Go and apologize to her." His father said impatiently, and when the son didn't move fast enough, "GO!"
Will fled the room, hurriedly running through the halls in search of...... in search of.......
He was suddenly outside, alone in a large field. The sun was shining, the sky clear. He could hear a woman calling but she was nowhere to be seen. He began walking in the direction of her voice, through a small wood and into a clearing. He knew this clearing, but as much as his mind struggled, the memory eluded him. He saw the woman, standing on the top of the slope, holding out her hand to him.
"Will." she said softly.
He could hear her voice in his head, her lips never moved. Instinctively he reached out his own hand to her. His mind struggled once more for the memory of who she was, why she was here.
"Will."
His feet would no longer move. He couldn't get any closer to her.
"Will."
He stretched his arm as far as he could, but she seemed to get farther away. "NO!" he cried out.
The woman laughed and turned away, her hair tossed carelessly in the wind as she disappeared over the hill.
Will felt an incredible pain open up in his chest when she was gone. Her voice reverberated in his head even though she was no longer there.
"Will"
"Don't leave me!" he cried out, but the sound was barely audible. Panicking, he tried vainly to free his feet, to go after her. He had no idea who she was, he knew only that if he let her go then his life would be empty.... empty and meaningless. This woman held the key. She knew why he was here, what he had to do.......
"Will"
Her voice continued to tease him, like a siren's call.
"Will!"
A fog began to roll in, over the edge of the hill where she had disappeared. Will grew more desperate to free himself. The fog rolled closer. It grew thicker as it neared. No longer could he see the trees on the other side.
"Will......." came her voice on the roiling mists.
"Will......." it called from all around him.
" Will."
"I think he's waking up. Will?"
The light was bright and he blinked against the sudden intrusion as his eyes fought to stay open. His head felt muzzy and he couldn't be sure if he was awake or still dreaming.
"Come on, Will. Lizzie's been waiting a long time to see you."
He recognized Charles' voice and tried to focus his gaze on the figure closest to him. "Elizabeth?" he managed to croak out.
Another figure moved closer on his left. "I'm here, Will."
"Just give him a few minutes." said a voice he didn't recognize. "Once the last of the medication wears off he'll have a much clearer head."
"Thank you doctor." It was Elizabeth again. He felt a warm pressure on his hand and realized that she was holding it. He squeezed her fingers. "Oh! You do know I'm here!"
"I'll leave you two alone, then. If you need anything I'll be just outside in the hall." Charles said.
Silence. Will drifted in the fog. Suddenly someone took hold of his hand. He couldn't see her, but he knew it was her. He was being pulled, faster and faster. The fog was thinning. He could see the woman racing ahead of him, her grip on his hand like iron.
"Elizabeth.... wait."
"I'm not going anywhere, Will."
"I'm sorry."
"I know." she whispered.
Will opened his eyes and blinked in the now darkened room. "Elizabeth?" he said softly. His eyes sought her out and he sighed when she came into focus.
"I thought you'd never wake up!" She smiled down at him.
Will licked his dry lips. "I was beginning to wonder about that myself."
"Would you like some water?"
"Please." He sipped at the straw she held to his lips.
"Not too much. There, that's enough for now." She took the cup away and turned back to face him.
"Elizabeth, I'm sorry." He couldn't stop saying those words. "I let you down again. I
should have been here with you." Elizabeth remained silent. "We have a daughter?"
"Yes. I'll bring her in when you're more awake. She's still in an incubator. I can take her out to feed and change her, and to hold her for awhile. It should only be for another couple of days, though. Dr. Wells says she's doing very well. I should be able to take her home then." Elizabeth paused to take a deep breath. "I have only one question for you, Will."
Will looked at his wife apprehensively. "What is it?"
"What is our daughter's name?" Will stared at her blankly. Elizabeth gave him a feeble smile. "Her name, Will. You were choosing it, remember?"
"Yes. I remember." He tried to sort through his muddled thoughts to find what he was looking for. "Um. What do you think of Anna Elizabeth Emily?"
"That's quite a mouthful."
"You'd prefer something else?"
"No, no," Elizabeth quickly said. "That's lovely. Anna for your mother?"
Will nodded, then regretted the action. "If you had something else in mind....."
"No, it's perfect. Really." She looked at him for a moment. "What would you have chosen for a boy?"
Will smiled. "But I knew it was going to be a girl." At his wife's insistent gaze he gave in. "Thomas Charles Alexander."
She smiled again. "Another mouthful. Why so many names?"
"Because I have only one, and an odd one at that. I always wanted a second."
"I often wondered why your parents didn't give you a middle name. Does Georgiana have one?" Elizabeth asked.
"Phillipa." Will replied. "She'd prefer not to have a middle name at all."
Elizabeth laughed softly. "So your parents couldn't win no matter what they named their children."
They were silent for a while, merely holding hands and enjoying the sight of one another after so many agonizing days apart. Elizabeth preferred not to discuss what had happened between them, and Will preferred to forget.
A soft knock on the door announced Charles' presence once more. "Jane wondered if you'd like some dinner, Lizzie. I'll sit with Will while you're gone."
"I don't know, Charles," she said. She looked at Will.
"Go on. I'm not going anywhere." Before she left the room he added, "Could you bring Anna when you return?"
Elizabeth smiled and nodded, then slipped out the door. Charles sat down in the chair and looked at his friend.
"What a moron you are, Will." Will didn't reply. "You really have no idea what you put us all through, do you? I'm amazed Lizzie is even speaking to you."
Will closed his eyes briefly. "I believe that storm is yet to strike, Charles."
"I think you're right. She's not going to jeopardize your recovery by getting into it now. So you had better recover quickly before she cracks under the strain." Charles leaned in closer. "Tell me what happened in that alley, Will. What were you intending to do to George Wickham?"
"Do to him?" Will repeated. "I wanted to see him pay for what he'd done to my sister, to Lydia, to Elizabeth and myself. I followed him. I intended to take him in to the police, even if I had to beat him to a pulp to get him there! The animal! The things he said... that he implied... about Elizabeth, about Georgiana."
Charles saw him clench his fists in anger. "Just words, Will. You know none of it was true."
"Of course none of it was true!" Will hissed. "But I wanted to ram them right back down his throat, and -." He stopped and grimaced in pain. This conversation was taking it's toll on him. His damaged body screamed out to him to calm down. Pain was beginning to build behind his eyes again.
Alarmed at upsetting him, Charles tried to quiet his friend. "Easy now, Will. George is dead. He can't hurt anyone, now." He watched as Will lay silent, visibly struggling with the pain. "Sorry, Will. I shouldn't have said anything. Now Lizzie will have two of us to lecture."
Will smiled in spite of himself. "You can have my share." he whispered.
"Oh thanks!" After a minute he continued. "Did I hear that your daughter has a name now?"
Will smiled weakly. "Yes. Anna Elizabeth Emily."
"Wow! She's a beauty, Will. Just wait until you see her."
"Then she looks like Elizabeth?"
Charles gave a chuckle. "Did you think I'd say that if she looked like you?"
"God forbid."
Charles continued talking in a lighter vein while Will quietly listened. By the time Elizabeth and Jane joined them, Will was feeling more relaxed and the pain had subsided. He noticed the tiny blanketed bundle in Elizabeth's arms.
Jane gestured to Charles to leave them alone, and the two of them left the room. Elizabeth moved close to the bed and lowered her arms to show Will his daughter.
"Charles is right. She's beautiful. She looks just like you, Liz." Will touched the soft cheek gently. He couldn't bring himself to say any more, his throat had tightened considerably.
His wife silently watched him. She could tell he was strongly affected emotionally. That was the only time he called her Liz. All through her pregnancy, when he would snuggle her close at night, placing a hand on her to feel the baby's movements, she was Liz. On their long walks through the gardens at Pemberley, close to everything they both loved, she was Liz. When they made love...... she was Liz.
But Elizabeth was not ready to forgive him yet.
Her silence did not escape Will's notice. "I'm sorry." Still she said nothing. "I'll keep saying it until you tell me what's going on in your head, Liz."
Finally her lips moved. "Save your strength for getting well. When I figure out what's going on in my head, then I'll let you know."
Will's gaze fell from her face. She wasn't going to make this easy at all. Alright. Concentrate on getting well. You can't do much from this bed anyway. Just give her some time. She'll be more receptive after she's had time.
"I'll need to be taking Anna back, soon." Elizabeth said abruptly.
"Oh." Will wished he could hold his daughter. He wished he could hold his wife. Instead, he again touched Anna's cheek, then brushed Elizabeth's hand with his fingers. "Thank you, Elizabeth."
She smiled weakly. After a moment, she took Anna back to the nursery, leaving Will alone in his room.
In another two days, Elizabeth was able to take their daughter home. Mrs. Reynolds was thrilled to see the little one safely at Pemberley at last.
Will came home another two days later. The master bedroom had been set up for his comfort, as he would be spending a good deal of time there, confined to bed. The hired nurse had been in, checking on the arrangements and making sure the staff knew of his restrictions. She had been forewarned of her patient's stubbornness and tendency to refuse to adhere to the rules. Her first duty had been to make sure that he knew she would tolerate no deviation from the set schedule, and there would be hell to pay if he thought otherwise. He would be allowed up when she decided he was ready, and not before.
Will would normally have chafed at this treatment, but Elizabeth was not very encouraging of his attempts to draw her out. She spent most of her day tending to their children, occasionally meeting with Mr. Braithwaite to go over matters that Will would normally have taken care of. She would sit with him before noon every day, leaving to eat her lunch with William. Then she would return when their son was napping in the afternoon.
William had been in to visit his father a few times, but the lively boy was a little much for Will to handle in his current condition. Elizabeth told him he'd have to wait until his father was stronger before he could play with him again.
The weeks passed slowly for Will. He was impatient to be up and about. He was frustrated with Elizabeth's refusal to speak with him on any serious matter, not to mention her decision to stay in one of the other bedrooms instead of with him.
The nurse was happy with his progress, giving him more and more freedom to walk around as the days passed. First he'd been confined to his room, then the floor. Finally she consented to him taking the stairs to join his family for meals.
Will was getting tired of taking the assortment of antibiotics every day. They played havoc with his stomach and made him even less cheerful company than his current situation had done. When this course of pills finally came to an end and the nurse declared him well enough not to need her services any further no-one was happier than he.
But still Elizabeth refused to rejoin him in their bedroom.
Despite his numerous attempts at conversation, Will was repeatedly rebuffed. Elizabeth was adamant about not discussing what had happened in London. She turned away from his advances, leaving him feeling hurt and confused. Even though he knew that he had hurt her, too, Will couldn't understand Elizabeth's behaviour and it was making him miserable and short-tempered.
They had occasionally argued, usually when Will had pushed her too far, when his frustration had mounted to the point where he deliberately provoked her. Still, she wouldn't talk about the one subject that needed discussing. Will didn't know how much longer he could let this go on.
Finally he decided it was time to clear the air. Will sought out his wife and found her in the library. As he stood in the doorway watching her quietly reading a book in the window alcove, Will couldn't help remembering the warm and loving times they had spent in this room. How many times had they made love here? Both of them enjoyed the rich surroundings, the shelves upon shelves of books lining the walls. The mysteriousness of the thousands of pages, hundreds of characters and authors resting on the oak planks. If he closed his eyes he could see her laying beside him, the glow from the fire flickering across her face, reflecting in her eyes, the shadows dancing teasingly across her bare skin.
Elizabeth looked up to see her husband leaning against the doorframe for support. He seemed to be in pain and she cast her book aside to cross the room in alarm.
"Will? Are you alright? Do you need to lie down?"
He opened his eyes to see a concern in her eyes that he hadn't seen in far too long. He shook his head and reached for her hand. To his surprise, she let him take it this time. Will brought her hand to his face and held it against his cheek.
"Elizabeth, we have to talk about this."
Her expression hardened and she started to turn away. Will pulled her back to him roughly.
"Don't do this to me! Please, Elizabeth. Talk to me!"
Elizabeth struggled out of his grasp. She walked back across the room, stopping halfway to whirl around and face him again. "What do you want me to say, Will?"
He closed the gap between them. He wanted to take her in his arms, to kiss her, to forget any of this had happened. Instead, Will stood looking into her eyes, not touching her. "Tell me what's wrong. Why won't you talk to me? Why won't you let me touch you?"
Elizabeth stared at him for several minutes without saying anything. She seemed about to speak, then changed her mind. She opened her mouth again, but nothing came out. Will could see her struggling against her building anger. He waited for her to find the words. Finally she fairly exploded in front of him.
"Just what the hell did you think you were doing racing out of here in pursuit of George Wickham?" Elizabeth shouted. "Just what was going on in that head of yours?"
Will opened his mouth to reply, then realized that there really was no explanation, nor did his wife actually expect one. He simply met her gaze, a world of regret in his eyes.
Elizabeth wasn't finished yet, however. She had only just begun. "You don't have the smallest idea how I felt when you left here, do you? You never stopped to consider how I might have worried about what might happen to you. I thought you were dead, Will!"
He winced at those words.
"My God, Will, I thought George had killed you. My whole world was in ruins! You had taken my heart with you, and nothing, nothing, was going to restore that! What was I to say to William? How would I explain to your son that his father had been killed trying to avenge an ancient grudge that should have been buried long ago? I thought you the model of honourable, civilized behaviour, Will. What possessed you to abandon all of your principles, your wife and son, to satisfy some primeval urge for revenge?"
Will was stirred to respond at this. "Revenge? Is that all you think it was?" He crossed to the fireplace and turned back to face her. "Have you forgotten what that man did to your sister? To mine? The only thing George Wickham could be trusted with was the ability to inflict pain and suffering on others, especially anyone connected with me! And he now had an even better selection of victims to choose from." Will's eyes narrowed as he turned away from her and stared into the fire. "William would have been his next target."
"You don't know that." Elizabeth retorted, conveniently forgetting that the same fear had consumed her upon hearing of Wickham's return to England. "He probably didn't even know you had a son."
Will turned his body to face her, his stance defensive. "You're wrong. He knew far more than even I suspected. He knew of William, of our marriage, and even that you were about to have another baby." Elizabeth gasped. "I won't even repeat the slanderous, disgusting remarks he made about you and Georgiana! If I could have killed him with my bare hands at that moment I would have, and damn the consequences! As it was I was spared the necessity of bloodying my hands, and don't think I regret for a moment the method of his demise!"
Elizabeth stared, wondering if she ever truly knew her husband. "I don't believe you." Do I? There was a fire in his eyes that she had never seen before.
Will growled out his next words. "That pig had the audacity to ask me for forgiveness! Just before he died, as he lay in his own blood in a filthy alley, after what he'd done and said to me he asked me to forgive him!"
Elizabeth looked up. Her own voice was low, quiet, as she attempted to keep it from breaking. "What a fool. For we all know that your forgiveness is impossible to procure."
Clenching his fists, Will berated himself for missing the crux of the matter. His words came back to haunt him. Don't presume to judge my conscience, Elizabeth. As for yours......you've had practice living with your conscience. It was time to face the repercussions for what he'd said when he'd left for London. "I should never have said that to you, Elizabeth. I'm sorry."
There was a long silence. Finally Elizabeth felt she could trust herself to speak. "You should never have said it? But apparently you have no qualms about feeling it!"
"Elizabeth--"
"That could very well have been the last thing you ever said to me, Will. When I believed you were dead I heard those words over and over in my mind." Her voice broke and he could hear a soft sob. "What comfort to me is your love without your forgiveness? How can you truly give one without the other? What makes you so high and mighty that you don't have to forgive?"
Will had nothing to say for a long while. When he finally looked up it was only to discover that he was alone. Elizabeth had left.
Will raised a hand to his head and covered his eyes. He dropped the hand back to his side and stared at the open door.
Elizabeth. Oh, please understand.
He crossed to the bar in the corner and poured himself a drink. Will stared into the contents of his glass for a while before finally raising it to his lips and drinking it down. Suddenly her words struck him with force.
What makes you so high and mighty?
Those were George Wickham's words to him. You always thought yourself so high and mighty above the world, Will.
And Georgiana, when he had come to her following Elizabeth's revelation about her son: You can keep that high and mighty tone to yourself, Fitzwilliam Darcy!
He poured himself another drink, refusing to consider anything other than coincidence. But the liquid nearly choked him as he tried to swallow it.
How could three, so very different people think the same thing of him? Wickham he could understand, but Elizabeth? Georgiana? Had he altered his behaviour as much as he'd thought?
Will looked once again toward the open door.
What comfort to me is your love without your forgiveness?
He closed his eyes tightly, vainly attempting to shut out the pain of dawning truth. Have I learned nothing in all these years? I altered my behaviour when I should have altered my very self. I've never deserved Elizabeth, no matter how much I tried to convince myself I do.
"Damn you, Will Darcy." he muttered between clenched teeth. He stared at the glass in his hand. "Damn you!" he cried and hurled the glass against the far wall with such force that the shattered bits flew in a thousand different directions, some coming to rest back at his feet.
Chapter 20
Mrs. Reynolds quietly closed the door to the library. She paused, wondering if she should seek out Mrs. Darcy. The sounds of their raised voices had travelled through the house not long ago. The entire staff was aware of the tense situation between them. Having just witnessed Mr. Darcy's fit of anger, Mrs. Reynolds was understandably concerned. She had seen him despondent, euphoric, but never destructive. What had transpired between him and his wife to cause such a reaction?
Hand still on the door handle, she sighed. Suddenly the handle turned under her fingers and she leapt back in surprise.
Will's only acknowledgment of her presence was a slight widening of his eyes as he saw her at the door. Quickly he looked away and stepped past her wordlessly.
Mrs. Reynolds watched as he climbed the stairs to the next floor. She knew that Mrs. Darcy had taken William and gone out of the house to walk the grounds. With a grim face she came to a decision and make her way back to her own offices to ring Miss Georgiana.
Several hours later Georgiana pulled her Rover into the carpark and shut off the motor. She glanced up at the windows of the house noting that the lights were on in the nursery. Putting her keys into her bag, she grabbed her things and set off for the kitchen entry. She needed to see Mrs. Reynolds before facing her brother.
The housekeeper met her inside the door and silently led her to her own quarters. Once there, Mrs. Reynolds closed the door and motioned for Georgiana to sit down.
"What's been going on, Mrs. Reynolds?" the young woman asked when they were both seated. "What can I do?"
"I don't know that there's anything you can do, Miss."
"Then why did you ask me to come?" Georgiana was puzzled.
Mrs. Reynolds wrung her hands together. "You know that the situation between your brother and his wife has been tenuous since he came home from hospital. The entire household is aware of it, and after today if anyone on staff had any doubts as to the seriousness of their problem they wouldn't have them anymore."
Georgiana grasped the other woman's arm. "What happened?"
"They had a terrific row this afternoon. Their voices could be heard all over the house. Mrs. Darcy immediately left the house with William and hasn't come back. Mr. Darcy.......well, I have never seen him so angry, Miss Georgiana.! He threw one of the bar glasses against the library wall, cursing and swearing! Then he went in search of his wife, but she had already gone out. He came back downstairs, shouting for me. When I heard what he had to say I nearly cried."
Georgiana's eyes were already filling with tears. "What did he say?"
"He's leaving for London." Mrs. Reynolds choked out.
"London!"
"He said he didn't know when he'd be back, but that I was to follow Mrs. Darcy's directions in anything she asked." She paused a moment, as if afraid to say more, then continued anyway. "I'm sorry to say that I spoke harshly with him upon receiving this news. I let him know what I thought of his desertion. He thr...... was not pleased with what I had to say."
Georgiana looked at the saddened woman in front of her, wondering what her brother had said that Mrs. Reynolds wasn't repeating. "Where is he now?"
"In the nursery with Anna."
Georgiana rose from the chair and drew in a deep breath. Without another word she left the housekeeper's quarters and went upstairs.
She didn't bother knocking on the nursery door, but quietly pushed open the door and entered the room. Will was sitting in the rocking chair, softly talking to Anna nestled in his arms. Unaware of her presence, his defences were down and he looked tired and defeated.
"Will?" Georgiana softly whispered.
Instantly his mask slipped back into place, and Will looked at his sister with mild surprise. "What brings you home in the middle of the week, Georgiana? No, wait. I think I can guess. Mrs. Reynolds." He got up from the chair and placed his daughter back in the cot. As he tucked the blanket around her tiny body he said to his sister "You can assure her that I didn't mean what I said."
"What did you say?"
Will laughed, but there was nothing mirthful in the sound. "That I'd give her the sack if she didn't keep her nose out of my business."
Georgiana touched his shoulder. She was astonished to see him flinch. "Will, what the hell is up with you?"
"Not here." Will left the nursery, his sister close on his heels, continuing down the hall to the sitting room on that floor. As the door closed behind them, Georgiana rounded on him immediately.
"Why are you going to London? Are you and Elizabeth finished?"
"I beg your pardon?" Will's tone was anything but polite.
"You heard me." Georgiana studied his face but his expression gave nothing away. "Are you just going to throw away everything and allow George Wickham to win again?"
Will looked at her with a steely glint. "Get out."
"Wh-what?"
"I said get out!" His voice was barely above a whisper.
"Will......" Georgiana's voice trailed away. Will's expression was one of anger, but his eyes now gave away his real feelings.
"Get out and leave me alone, Georgiana!"
Georgiana backed away. She could hear his control slipping, could see the torment in his eyes. Quickly, she grabbed the handle of the door and practically ran into the hallway. Closing the door on him, she leaned against the wood. She thought she heard him call her name, but when she pressed her ear closer to the door's edge there was only the sound of footsteps receding.
Georgiana glanced at her watch. It was nearly seven o'clock. If Elizabeth intended to come home tonight, and Georgiana sincerely hoped she would, then it would be soon. It was near William's bedtime and Elizabeth was a stickler for routine. With one last look at the closed door at her back, Georgiana hurried downstairs to catch her sister-in-law as soon as she appeared.
It wasn't long before William came running into the house. When he caught sight of his Aunt standing in the hallway he ran over to her, laughing excitedly.
"Aunt Janna," he called loudly and ran into her arms.
Elizabeth entered the house a moment later and approached Georgiana. "This is an unexpected surprise, Georgiana. Is anything wrong?"
Georgiana stared at Elizabeth in disbelief. "There's nothing wrong with me." she said pointedly.
Mrs. Reynolds appeared, seemingly from nowhere.
"Mrs. Reynolds, would you mind taking William upstairs and getting him ready for bed?" Georgiana said. "I need to speak with his mother."
Elizabeth raised an eyebrow, but nodded to the housekeeper to take her son upstairs. When they were gone, she motioned to Georgiana to enter the drawing room. Closing the door firmly behind her, Elizabeth stood with her back to it, arms crossed, and faced her sister-in-law.
"Well?"
"Elizabeth, what is going on?" Georgiana asked plaintively.
"Ask your brother."
"I did. He told me to leave him alone." Georgiana's frustration with the two of them rose another notch.
Elizabeth continued to gaze impassively at her companion. "Then do as he asks."
"He's planning on leaving. He's going to London." Georgiana was rewarded by seeing the startled look in Elizabeth's eyes, although she maintained her silence. Exasperated, the younger woman cried out "Don't you care? What is wrong with the both of you?"
Elizabeth's patience was wearing thin. "You're treading on dangerous ground, Georgiana. Take your brother's advice and just leave it."
Georgiana felt her own anger rising. She was keenly disappointed in Elizabeth. "If that's the way you feel, then so be it. I had thought so much better of you Elizabeth. I thought you truly cared for Will." She ignored the warning flash in Elizabeth's eyes. "Just remember that when it comes right down to it, I'll be standing beside my brother. You may choose to forsake him and your vows, but don't think for a minute that I'll let you take his children without a fight. You deprived him of enough where his son is concerned."
"That's enough, Georgiana!"
She whirled around to see that Will had come in through the other door and was now holding her in a gaze so filled with sorrow that she felt near tears herself.
"Isn't it bad enough that I couldn't let go of that bitterness, must you hold onto it as well?"
Georgiana rushed across the room to wrap her arms around her brother. Whether she was more comforted by this, or he, was unclear, for neither appeared to derive any pleasure in the embrace.
"Georgiana," Will said in a low voice, "just go home."
She looked up into his face. Seeing the seriousness in his expression Georgiana then glanced over to where Elizabeth stood. She hadn't moved and now watched her husband and sister-in-law with a wary eye.
Georgiana pushed herself away from Will. "I'll be in my room." she said.
Will shook his head. "No. Go home, Georgiana. Back to Manchester. Leave us to sort this out ourselves."
Georgiana hesitated. Then she slowly nodded her head, gave her brother a kiss on the cheek and left the room.
Elizabeth watched Will from her position at the door. She hadn't seen her husband since leaving him in the library earlier in the day. She had said some very hurtful things to him then, and she could tell that they had hit their targets.
"What's this about you going to London?"
Will shuffled his feet, refusing to meet her gaze. "I need some time to think. It seemed like a good idea to spend it away from here."
"Away from me?" Elizabeth slowly walked over to stand before him. "You look like you've done nothing but think since I left you this afternoon." She reached out to touch his chin and lift it up. His eyes finally met hers. "Do you really need to do any more thinking?"
"No." he whispered.
"Then why go?"
Will searched her eyes for an indication of her heart. "Do you - Please tell me that you want me to stay, Elizabeth."
"Of course I want you to stay, Will! I love you, you're my husband and I love you beyond reason. You make me crazy. I want to throttle you some days, but I don't ever want to be parted from you again, Will." Elizabeth looked into his desperate face. "I said some terrible things to you, Will, and I'm so sorry."
Will swallowed with difficulty. "When I discovered that you'd left and taken William with you, that's when I decided to leave. I had to be the one to go, before I drove you away. Then at least I'd know where you were. I could picture you and our children here, at Pemberley, and not be left wondering what had become of you. I spent the afternoon in the nursery, memorizing Anna's face. I didn't know when or if you might want me to come back."
Elizabeth sighed his name and placed a hand against his face. "Did my words hurt you that much? You should have known that I always go for a walk after we have an argument. It clears my head, makes me see reason."
Will shook his head. "It wasn't your words, Elizabeth. Mine were the ones that caused me pain. It was mean and spiteful of me to make that remark about your conscience. I was merely trying to deflect the guilt away from myself." He looked steadily into her eyes. "I actually forgave you long ago, Elizabeth, for there really was nothing to forgive. We, both of us, made so many mistakes, the greatest of which was my inability to recognize your true feelings that afternoon when we made love for the first time. I was so caught up in my own feelings of inadequacy following George and Lydia's escape that I couldn't see beyond that. For years I've blamed George Wickham for my unhappiness, for our separation, and although that man has caused me a lot of grief and pain, the truth is that I was the one to blame for keeping us apart."
"It was both of us, Will." Elizabeth wasn't going to allow him to claim all of the responsibility for their misery.
He shook his head. "No, it was my unbelievably self-centred arrogance. If I hadn't thought that I, and I alone had the power to rescue your sister, and that when I failed you would reject me, you would never have been forced to go through your pregnancy alone; to give birth alone, nor raise our son alone. How could I have doubted you so? How could I have thought so highly of myself?" Taking her hands in his, Will kissed the back of one, then the other. "I realized this afternoon that I still have a long way to go before I truly deserve your love, and the children you have given me."
"Oh, Will!" Elizabeth laughed gently. "You really do think too much! You simply must stop putting me up on such a high pedestal. What will happen when I fall off?"
"In the unlikely event of that occurring," Will replied with a tentative smile, "I would hope I'll be there to catch you."
"I'll do my best to fall in your direction." Elizabeth giggled. "Oh, I already have!" She stood on her toes to bring her face level with his.
Will accepted the invitation and touched his lips to hers. Her kiss was like a balm on his raw nerves. He wondered again at his own foolishness in thinking he could have left her behind.
Elizabeth pulled back and stepped toward the door. Her eyes flashed him another invitation. She held out her hand and he took it. Then Elizabeth led him through the doorway and upstairs to their room.
Georgiana sped through the city streets. Almost home, I'm almost home. Tears streamed down her face. Oh, Brian. What have I done? What did I say?
The tyres squealed as she took the corner approaching the carpark and she slammed on the brakes as the car lurched into a vacant spot. She snatched up her bag, fumbled the keys out, and ran to the front door of the building. Once inside, Georgiana raced up the stairs, unwilling to wait for the lift. Closing the door to her flat forcefully, she leaned against it, breathing heavily.
Eyes searching the room, they settled on the telephone, and Georgiana grabbed the receiver and hurriedly dialled a number.
"Brian? Brian!" she sobbed.
"Georgie, what's the matter?" Brian's panicked voice sounded in her ear.
"Oh, Brian, it's Will!"
"What? I thought he was recovered. What happened? Has something else happened?"
Georgiana continued to sob, unable to speak coherently, while Brian tried desperately to figure out what was going on.
"Georgie, calm down and tell me what's wrong. Do you want me to fly home?"
"What have I done, Brian? I said some horrible things to Elizabeth. I may have made everything worse!"
"Start at the beginning. What did you say to her, and why?" Brian tried to keep his voice calm despite his concern for his fiancée.
Georgiana drew in an unsteady breath. "Mrs. Reynolds called me because Will and Elizabeth had a great row this afternoon and Will was leaving."
"What do you mean 'leaving'?"
"He's leaving Elizabeth, and going to London."
"I can't believe that's true, Georgiana! Your brother loves Elizabeth, and she loves him!" Brian was becoming more and more confused. "Wherever did you get this idea?"
Impatiently, Georgiana explained. "He told Mrs. Reynolds that he was going to London and didn't know when he'd return. I asked him what was going on."
"And he said?" Brian asked hesitantly.
"He told me to leave him alone."
Brian could hear in her voice how much she was hurting. "So you spoke with Elizabeth instead?"
Georgiana nodded, then realized she had to speak up. "I did. Brian, I said some horrible things. She didn't seem at all upset at Will going."
"What did you say, Georgie?"
"I told her I'd support my brother if they split up, and I wouldn't let her take the children from him."
Brian let out his breath forcefully. "Georgie, how could you let yourself get drawn into their problems? Why didn't you let them work it out?"
"I don't know, Brian," she sobbed. "All I wanted to do was help them. I wanted Elizabeth to ask him to stay. I wanted Will to make up with her. Now I've probably set them further apart."
"What did Elizabeth say to you?"
"She didn't say anything. Will came into the room and heard me. He told me to go home."
Brian sighed. "Georgie, do you want me to come home?"
Georgiana was torn between saying yes and being strong enough to say no. She really wanted his soothing presence. She wanted to take him to Pemberley to talk some sense into her brother. Most of all, she wanted his comforting arms around her. "No." she finally said. "I just needed to talk to you. I needed to hear your voice and the assurance that our little corner of the world, at least, is still okay."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes." she said shakily. "Brian, I'm afraid of what'll happen to Will if they split up. I don't want to see him hurt again."
"Georgie, everybody has rows. You should see the ones my parents have had! Both your brother and his wife are strong-minded and stubborn. If they didn't row once in a while then I'd think there was something wrong." Brian chuckled.
"But what if they're too stubborn to make up?"
Now he laughed. "You are determined to see the dark side of this aren't you? Would you feel better if I rang your brother to see if he's okay?"
"Would you?" she asked hopefully.
"I will, but I'm not asking him anything personal. I'll just say I have some questions about the wedding and you weren't home. Then I'll ring you back, okay?"
"Thanks Brian. I love you, you know that?"
He could hear Georgiana's smile in her words. "I love you too, sweetie. I'll talk to you in a few minutes."
"Somebody answer that blasted telephone!" Will yelled in the direction of the hall.
"Shhh!!" Elizabeth scolded. "You'll wake William."
"Oh, bloody hell!" Will muttered as he strode across the room to pick up the extension. "Yes!" he fairly barked into the receiver. "Oh, Brian. Sorry. What can I do for you?"
"Say hello to him for me!" Elizabeth called out.
Will covered the mouthpiece. "Shhh. You'll wake William!" He grinned at her. Elizabeth threatened him with a pillow.
"What's that? No, I think Elizabeth and Georgiana have all of that worked out between them. You don't need to worry." Will rolled his eyes in impatience at this conversation. "Don't even think twice about the cost, Brian. I have that covered." He kept looking back at Elizabeth, laying on the bed lazily pouting her lips. "Um, what did you say?" he muttered distractedly. "Fine, fine. I'll call her in the morning and doublecheck.."
Elizabeth slid out from under the blankets and sidled over to her husband. She ran her hands over his bare chest and put a finger to his lips. Smiling, she removed the receiver from his grip and put it to her own ear.
"Brian? Just tell Georgiana that everything's fine and we'll talk to her tomorrow. Now go away." She laughingly agreed to something he said in reply, then put the receiver down. "Your sister put him up to that." she laughed. "I don't think he has any doubts in reassuring her that all is well with us."
Will shook his head. "I never even thought about how Georgiana was feeling after I sent her packing."
"Never mind. Brian will make her feel better, I'm sure." Elizabeth began tracing her finger over the red scars on Will's chest. "These are healing nicely. You probably won't even notice them in another six months."
"I'm sure you will, though." Will grimaced.
Elizabeth glanced coyly up at him. "You realize that I'll need to examine these every day to make sure."
"Every day?" Will raised an eyebrow.
Elizabeth nodded. "Every day."
Will grinned and started to pull her back toward the bed. "I think the light is better over here, dear."
Chapter 21 - Epilogue
"Georgiana Darcy, you look fit to burst." Will smiled warmly at her. He didn't let go of her hand even when she was safely standing on the sidewalk. "Mum and Dad would have said they'd never seen anyone so beautiful."
She hugged him, trying to hold back her tears at the mention of their parents. Over his shoulder she saw Elizabeth, Rose, Allison and Brian's little nieces waiting for her near the church door.
Georgiana released her brother and stepped back, looking into his face. She thought of the months of planning, preparation, heartache, arguments and apologies that led up to this day; her wedding day. There were only these last few minutes to be alone with her brother, away from anyone else. After the reception Mr and Mrs. Osborne would spend three weeks honeymooning in Hawaii, travelling on from there to their new home in New York City. Georgiana had no idea when she'd see her brother again.
Will brought a handkerchief up to wipe away the tears that escaped and rolled down his sister's cheeks. "Don't cry, Georgie. At least not yet." he teased.
She sniffled and tried to laugh. "Will, I could never have wished for a better brother than you. I'm going to miss you so much!"
"You haven't left yet," he said, trying not to let his own feelings show. "And if you stand out here all day, don't think I'll let Brian take you away without marrying you first!" She giggled giddily. "Come along, Georgie. Let me walk you down that aisle. There's a very deserving young man waiting for you in there."
Will wrapped her arm over his, their hands still clasped together, and led her to the waiting bridesmaids. Allison and Rose hugged her, the little girls held onto her skirts. Elizabeth was the last to pull the bride to her, holding her close for several minutes.
"Georgiana, you are so beautiful! Will is so very proud of you, and so am I. I've not said this before, but I can't thank you enough for taking care of your brother for me, all that time when we were apart. You were his whole life, then. He's really having a hard time letting go, but he knows that Brian will take good care of you. You couldn't have made him happier when you asked him to walk you down the aisle." Elizabeth paused to pull back and look her sister-in-law in the eye. "I promise we'll come visit you in New York."
Georgiana nodded, but couldn't manage any words. She looked at Will once more and smiled.
"Ready?" he asked. "Okay, ladies. Let's go."
The room was crowded with people. The guest list for this affair was well over three hundred people. If it wasn't for Georgiana's white dress, Will doubted anyone could find her in the throng. He surveyed the room from the relative safety of the upper landing of the staircase. From here he could pick out the members of the wedding party, all twelve of them.
Wait a minute! he thought, panic briefly taking hold, Where did William go? Then he spied his son, at the buffet table helping himself to the pickles. Will shook his head. Where does he get his appetite?
He watched as a young lady joined William and started filling a plate for him. Will smiled as he recognized Emmy. She and Georgiana had struck up quite the friendship over the last year or so, and had frequently seen each other on numerous visits to one another's homes.
Will's eyes next found his cousin Richard, dancing with the stunning blonde woman he had brought as his guest. Will recalled his own surprise when introduced to the young woman, and discovering that she already knew him, albeit as a patient last January in London. The surprises continued when Richard informed him that he would be leaving for America in another month, as Laura was returning to her native Boston and he was going with her. Will was happy for them both, and even happier that his sister would now have a relative very close at hand.
The thought of his sister being so far away from him brought his eyes around to Georgiana. She was engaged in earnest conversation with her new sisters-in-law, laughing occasionally at something one of them said. Will decided there was another thing that made him happy. Georgiana had certainly chosen a fine man from an excellent, supportive family.
He sighed and looked down at the carpet at his feet. The last few months had been a roller coaster ride of emotion for himself and Elizabeth. Although they had finally managed to bring into the open their wounded feelings regarding the disaster in London, it was really only the beginning of the healing process in their marriage. He reflected that up until Christmas they had been living a dream, and not the realities of married life, until very real trouble hit in January. Now they were taking the time to really get to know one another as people, instead of the ideals they had each envisioned over the years of separation.
A touch on his shoulder brought Will's head up.
"I just wanted to thank you for all of this, Will," Brian said with a genuine smile. "This is utterly fantastic."
Will clapped the younger man on the back. "You just keep my sister happy, and that's all the thanks I'll need." he said in a deadly serious tone.
Brian nodded in amusement. In the two months since he'd returned from Portugal, he and Will had continually played off the 'over-protective big brother' image that Georgiana insisted Will really felt. Several times they had managed to alarm both his fiancée and Elizabeth with their antics.
"Seriously, Brian," Will continued. "You know you can call us anytime if things get rough. I'm willing to fly over at a moment's notice if you need us. Or if you need your parents, for that matter."
"I know you would. Georgiana derives great comfort from that knowledge. I know it won't be easy for her when we get to New York. I'll at least have work to go to every day. She'll have to start from the beginning making friends."
"Rich won't be far away."
Brian nodded his head again. "Yes, that's something we'll both look forward to." Brian's gaze was drawn to a woman walking in a stately fashion across the room. "Did you speak with your aunt this evening?"
Will noticed the direction of his gaze and his eyes narrowed as they followed Catherine De Bourgh's progress. "Oh, yes. I was unable to escape her."
Brian looked at his brother-in-law. "That bad, was it?"
Will rolled his eyes. "Absolutely everything is Elizabeth's fault. I think the rainy weather for the last week was her fault, too." Brian chuckled. "You can laugh. You won't have to see her again. She's promised to come to Pemberley later in the summer to see Anna, since she's already lowered herself to meet Elizabeth's son. Elizabeth's son, mind you. She doesn't believe that William is mine."
"But he looks exactly like you! How could she possibly think that?"
Will shook his head wearily. "You don't want to hear her theory on that matter."
Brian noticed Georgiana waving in an attempt to attract his attention. "I'm being paged, Will. I'll see you later."
Will laughed as he watched his companion rush down the stairs to meet his new wife on the dance floor. He saw Elizabeth standing off to one side of the couple, gazing up at him. He smiled as their eyes met. Elizabeth mouthed something to him and smiled, too. Her expression invited him to join her for a dance.
Will took the stairs at a slightly more sedate pace than Brian had. Sweeping his wife up with one arm, he led her onto the floor where they quickly wove around the other couples to lose themselves in the middle of the crowd.
"Now, what were you trying to tell me while I was up on the landing?" Will said softly into her ear.
"Just how incredibly handsome you looked standing up there, lording over us all." Elizabeth chuckled.
Will pulled her closer and pressed his lips against her neck. Her hair had been drawn away and piled high on her head, leaving the length exposed to tease him mercilessly. He couldn't stop at one kiss, however, and continued this pursuit until Elizabeth pulled away.
"Will, behave yourself," she smiled as she reprimanded him.
He grinned at her. "Don't you trust yourself, my dear?"
There was a seductive glint in her eye as she replied. "Actually, no. I don't. So you'd better stop tempting me since this is your sister's wedding and we have to stay until all the guests have left!"
He groaned slightly at this reminder of their social duties. Then he swept his wife around in a tight circle and dipped her low to the floor. Elizabeth extended her arms to let her hands trail the tiles while Will slowly drew her back up to him. He allowed himself to bring his lips to the base of her throat before she came upright, leaving a line of kisses until she brought her head up and he met her mouth.
Elizabeth uttered a quiet moan in appreciation for his efforts, and forgot for a moment just where they were. After a lengthy and satisfying kiss she laid her head against him and sighed happily. We've come so far, Will, and we've survived it. I think we're going to be alright.
Will held Elizabeth tightly to him. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Georgiana and Brian as they danced, oblivious to anyone around them. For a moment, an image of his little sister came from deep in his memory and he smiled...... she waltzed around the music room clinging to her father's strong arms, as he towered above her tiny frame.
"Daddy, I'm doing it!" she cried in her high voice.
His deep laugh joined hers. "You certainly are, my little jewel! Now all you need is the groom and you're ready to get married!" he teased.
Will thought of his own daughter, now a tiny baby asleep in her cot at Pemberley. Some day he would be the one teaching her to waltz in the music room, listening to her excited laughter. And some day after that he would be walking her down a church aisle, delivering her into the waiting arms of a young man who would........
Will shook his head to dispel these thoughts. You are getting way ahead of yourself, Will Darcy! He looked at Elizabeth's face; her eyes were closed, a contented smile on her lips. Maybe if we have a few more daughters it won't be so traumatic to see them married.
Elizabeth raised her head and looked at her husband. He had closed his eyes and was chuckling softly. She wondered what he found so amusing. Then she lowered her head to his shoulder once more and snuggled in his arms. Weddings are so romantic!
Georgiana directed Brian's eyes toward Will and Elizabeth. She was so relieved to see them as close and loving as they had been the previous year. Moving to America didn't worry her as much now that she knew her beloved brother was going to be just fine.
She met Brian's gaze once more and the rest of the world faded away in the strength of the love that passed between them.
The End.
And so the torture has drawn to a close.... It's been arduous but I've loved every minute of it! Thank you to all of you wonderful people for all of the support and encouragement. Will and Lizzie thank you, too, I'm sure ;)