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Posted on Monday, 19 April 1999

Authors Note: Okay, this idea just came to me. Whether it's good or not-please tell me! I've always kind of wondered why Lady Catherine is the way she is, so maybe this will be some explanation.

Lady Catherine Fitzwilliam sighed as she ran and jumped to fall into a pile of leaves a servant just raked from the autumn trees.

"Cathy," her younger sister called. "Where are you?"

Catherine looked up guiltily as she saw her golden locks glistening in the sun. A girl of seventeen should definitely not be playing like a little schoolgirl, but the temptation bit her like a bug to go wild and free, that she could no longer avoid it. She sat up hurriedly as she tried to straighten up the leaves as quickly as she could.

"Oh, there you are," Anne exclaimed coming up behind Catherine.

"Wha..at!" Catherine screamed in surprise as she fell right back into the leaves.

Anne laughed happily as she surveyed the damage. "Oh, Cathy you are so silly. What are you doing? Father is going to get mad at you for getting your clothes messy."

Catherine walked out of the leaves and brushed the leaves off her dress and brunette locks.

"That's why he is not going to find out," she said giving her sister a conspiratorial grin.

Seventeen-year-old Catherine and sixteen-year-old Anne were as different as night and day. Anne was proper, beautiful, serene, amiable, and golden. She was a treat for anyone to meet. Catherine, on the other hand, was mischievous, playful, disorganized, opinionated, and a good storyteller. She was pretty, but many didn't want to admit it. To be honest, it bothered Catherine that people didn't like her as well as her sister Anne. However, she could understand how they felt because she loved her sister more than anything in the world and she never resented her.

Catherine knew she could please people if she liked, but she plain well didn't want to. She wanted people to like her for herself.

"Cathy, Cathy, Cathy," reprimanded her younger sister. She sighed and than grinned," Deal?"

"Deal, what?"

"Promise not to tell Father I kissed George Darcy and I promise to not tell about the leaves."

"George Darcy?"

"Yes," Anne sighed.

"Ooo...Someone special?" Cathy asked playing the older sister.

"I hope so," Anne sighed dreamily.

"Anne," Cathy hesitated, worried.

"Yes, Cathy?"

"I.. I just want to tell you to be careful."

"Why?" Anne's eyes narrowed.

"Look, George Darcy is great and everything, but you are young, Anne. I love you and just am watching over you. Just remember to be careful. Don't fall for him too hard, okay."

Anne looked thoughtful; which showed she was heeding Catherine's words. " Cathy, I know I am only sixteen, but I know that Georgie is special. Somehow I just know."

She sighed dreamily as she thought of him. She turned back to reality after a minute and turned to Catherine, "Cathy, have you ever been in love before?"

Catherine sighed sadly and looked down at her sister and sighed," No, I have not. But, I think.. I think I will never marry."

" Why is that, Cathy?" Anne laughed seriously.

" Because I will never marry if it will not be for love."

"Are you sure, Cathy?' Anne turned to her.

" Of course, milady."

Anne laughed at being called milady for she knew how Cathy hated the idea of prestige for she considered it snobbery.

Posted on Wednesday, 21 April 1999

Catherine happily grabbed Anne's hand and the two sisters skipped, without a care in the world, inside the house.

As soon as they reached the house Mrs. Willis said to Catherine, "Catherine your father wants to speak to you. It sounds very important."

Catherine sighed and let go of Anne's hand. Anne looked at her concerned, but Catherine gave her sister's hand a reassuring pat is if to say - everything is going to be all right.

With gloom Catherine stepped into her father's office. Six-foot-four Earl Archibald Fitzwilliam was extremely intimidating. Out of his three children Andrew, Catherine, and Anne he was roughest with Catherine. Partly, because she was the oldest and partly because he was dying to break her mischievous spirit.

"Sit down!" he commanded.

"Yes, father," poor Catherine responded in a weak voice.

"What is this I hear and see Lady Catherine Fitzwilliam?" he demanded to know. "Playing in the leaves like a two-year-old?" He shook his head gruffly. "I am extremely disappointed Lady Catherine. What have I told you about acting childishly?"

"But, but father," Catherine protested," I am not a child and all I want to do is please you, but you are trying to break me!"

"Shut up, stupid girl," her father demanded. "Why can you not be like Anne?"

"Because I am not Anne," Catherine whispered softly.

"What's that I hear?" Catherine's father shouted. "Since you seem to think you are adult enough to speak for yourself and do what you want, it is about time to get you married."

"But.." Catherine protested.

"But, what girl?"

"I'm not in love with anyone, father."

"Well, that is just too darn bad, because you are going to be married whether you like it or not!" Her father shouted at her. "You are finished now, leave."

Catherine ran out of the room, not looking back. She ran into the woods in her favorite place where no one, but her knew it was to silently sit in her grief.

Posted on Thursday, 22 April 1999

Catherine silently wept to herself, wondering what could she have done to deserve this. She leaned over to grip her favorite red rose and sniffed it as tears rolled down her eyes. The smell of roses was always comforting to her. She looked up at the sky and wondered at the prospects of her life of not marrying a man she didn't love.

"God, please," she pleaded silently as she sniffed, "If I cannot marry the man I love, please at least let me meet him."

Then she looked down at her hands and wept in them. She sat there for several minutes, crying when she felt a plunk. She stood up and looked at the trees as she did so another apple fell on her head.

"Hullo," she called curiously, looking up into the trees, "Who is there?"

Suddenly a person fell out of the tree, right in front of Catherine.

"Aaah!" she screamed scared about to run away.

"Excuse me, madam," the man of twenty-two grinned at her," Are you quite all right?"

Catherine turned around and looked at him curiously. This man looked very good-looking, so good-looking he almost made her want to drool. Her palms were sweating and her heart was beating rapidly just by looking at him. He had longish blond hair, which made her long to run her fingers through it and warm blue eyes that would comfort anyone.

"Madam," he tried again, grinning at her, "Are you quite alright? I didn't not mean to frighten you."

"Yes," she said grinning at him smoothing out her dress, flashing her warm brown eyes at him, "Mr.."

"Mr. John Percy," he answered as he grabbed her hand to steady her. He sighed and looked at her, "I must admit, Miss. you are the most beautiful creature I accidentally fell in front of. May I please have your name? Please graciously give it me."

She grinned at him playfully, "I can no longer deprive you of it Mr. Percy. My name is Lady Catherine Fitzwilliam."

"I hope we may become friends Catherine, may I call you that?" he said looking down at her as he flashed his wonderful smile.

"Yes," she said, but whispered to herself, "Maybe we can become something more."

Posted on Monday, 26 April 1999

"So..." Catherine flashed a grin at Mr. Percy, "Do you jump out of trees and scare helpless women often?"

Mr. Percy blushed at this remark and laughed, "Well actually, I was playing hide and seek with my sister?"

"Sister?" she said raising her eyebrows, "Do you have a beautiful wonderful exotic sister that plays hide and go seek?" She laughed at the thought.

He chuckled at her interpretation and said, "Well, actually I was playing hide and seek with my beautiful exotic wonderful sister whom is more than ten years my junior." He leaned in whispered in her ear, "She is nine and she loves to play with me. I don't regularly jump in front in such beautiful women such as yourself."

She laughed and sighed and blushed in embarrassment, "And I..." she stopped and tried again, "And I thought.." She stopped.

"I know perfectly well what you thought Lady Catherine," he grinned a happy grin at her. "But as I am here, will you allow me to escort you to your home?"

"Most certainly, Mr. Percy," she turned to face him as she curtsey and put her arm inside his. "Percy...Hmm...Somehow, that name seems so familiar." She paused as she remembered where she heard it.

She hesitated before she said, "I'm sorry about your parents' deaths, sir."

His happy disposition changed for a minute as he paused and looked up at the sky, "They were the best parents I could ever had the pleasure of having." He swallowed before he weakly smiled, " I think they would have liked you."

"Me?" Catherine said in all astonishment, "Not me."

"Why not? From my perception, you seem very likeable, good natured, mischievous, and..." He stopped.

"Whoops," he said turned to her, "Watch out for those holes. I remember a good friend of mine falling down in one of them."

"Thank you, Mr. Percy," she grinned.

"Call me, John all of my friends do," he said smiling at her.

"Yes, John," she said hesitantly, "I hope to be good friends."

As Catherine was looking at the trees and soaking up the rays of the sunshine, John looked down at her and smelled her fragrance, the sweet freshness of it, and her sparkling brown eyes. I.. I hope to not fall to deeply over Catherine for she probably has her sights set on someone else. Then he sighed. Yet, I since I...

Catherine looked at him to tell a joke. He turned away to hide his blush. Catherine looked at him curiously and thought- There is no way a man as good as him could fall in love with me. Then she thought to herself with a mischievous smile- Well, we'll just have to change that!

Posted on Saturday, 1 May 1999

"We have reached our destination, Lady Fitzwilliam," Mr. Percy smiled at Catherine and made a flamboyant bow.

Catherine put her hand up to her face and laughed. "Mr. Percy I am glad to have made your acquaintance."

"And I yours," he tenderly put her hand into his and kissed her hand and whispered huskily, "Catherine will I see you again?"

"I hope so," she grinned at him as he straighten his body to leave.

"Catherine-" Mr. Percy started to say as Catherine turned to go into her home.

"Yes, Mr. Percy," she inquired softly as she turned around to meet his face.

"Don't cry and don't worry- everything will be fine. I promise you that," he instructed her softly.

She stopped in wonder as she realized Mr. Percy heard her crying. What else did he hear her say?

"Thank you, Mr. Percy."

"John," he corrected." If I shall call you Catherine you shall call me John."

"Yes," she said as she watched him as he turned away, his strong body as he walked down the steps and his graceful pace made him seem as if he was flying.

"Yes, John," she whispered to herself. "Though you promise to save me, will you? Or will you try, without knowing the consequences?"

Catherine thought for a moment and looked towards John hopefully, from a distance and turned to go inside. Catherine stepped into the house nervously. She looked to see if any of the servants had noticed her. They hadn't. She walked slowly up the stairs into Anne's room. She knocked the door softly.

"Hullo," she heard a sweet voice call, "Come in please."

Catherine tumbled in into Anne's room and shut the door. When she turned to meet Anne's eyes, her demeanor was no longer nervous, scared or unhappy- but pure happiness.

"Anne," she said as she sat on her bed.

"How kind of you to honour us with your presence, Miss Catherine," Anne grinned at her teasingly.

"It's Lady Catherine, my dear," Catherine said in her father's deep-deep voice.

"Yes, Lady Catherine," Anne sighed as she corrected herself.

"The way John says my name-" she stopped, realizing what she slipped out.

"John?" Anne laughed at Catherine's expression on her face. "Who's John?"

"Ummm..." Catherine hesitated.

"Cathy," Anne insisted pulling on Catherine's arm, "Tell me, who is he? Should I be concerned?" She smiled mischievously to herself," Or should I report to father you have met his future-son-in-law?" She headed toward the door, leading Catherine to believe that this was what Anne was going to do.

Catherine sprinted in front of her younger sister and shut the door," Anne Fitzwilliam if you tell father about me meeting John Percy..I...I...I will tell him about George Darcy!"

Anne stepped back and laughed at her sister, "Oh, Cathy, I wasn't going to tell father. I just wanted to know whom you met. That was the only way to get it out of you."

Catherine crossed her arms and good-naturedly smile at her," And they call me the mischievous one. Little do these old ladies know that Lady Anne Fitzwilliam has a few tricks up her sleeves too."

Anne burst out laughing as she wrapped her arm around her older sister, " I try my dear, I certainly try. Well, tell me about Mr. John Percy. Is he attractive? Is he nice? Please Catherine do not deprive me of these facts."

"Well, he's extremely attractive, he is extremely nice and extremely mischievous," Catherine said diplomatically.

"Oh, come now, Cathy. That could be a good description of you but instead of referring "He" it would be "She". Tell me something more about him," Anne insisted.

"Well," Catherine sighed searching for the right words to say. "It may be too early in our acquaintance to say, but.. do you remember when you said that George Darcy was the perfect man for you? That's how I feel about John, however probably not as much."

"You're not besotted, yet," Anne explained.

"Well," Catherine sighed. "Do you think I will be?"

"You are on the right track."

Both girls looked up as a servant entered the room.

"Excuse me, Lady Catherine," she said as she curtseyed." I'm terribly sorry for have interrupted, but you have received a letter.

"Thank you," Catherine smiled her as she clutched the letter.

"Who is it from?" Anne asked.

"I don't know," Catherine said curiously. "I don't recognize the handwriting."

As the servant left the room, Catherine broke the seal and read the letter.

Dear Catherine,

I hope you will not mind my impertinence of writing this letter. I was hoping that tomorrow you would attend a picnic with my sister and I, if weather permits. If the weather is not fine, we will have tea and cake inside. I desire you to come immensely for I have enjoyed your acquaintance and wish to know you better. I hope this finds you in you health and hope sincerely you will meet me at the spot we met at noon.

Your friend,

John Percy

"Friends?" Anne asked.

"Yes," Catherine said softly, silently rereading his letter. "I can't exactly throw myself into his arms and scream: I LOVE YOU JOHN PERCY!"

"Why not? It worked for George and I."

Catherine laughed, "That will be the day when I see Anne Fitzwilliam saying on the top of her lungs "George Darcy, I desperately and honestly love you!"

Anne laughed and blushed, "I guess you have to start somewhere. It's a good idea for you to go. I wish I could see what he is like."

"That wouldn't be a good idea," Catherine remarked, "He'd take one look at you and forget about me."

"Dearest," Anne patted her shoulder reassuringly, "It took George three days to send me a letter like this after we met. Believe me, he cares about you." She whispered to herself, you and him care for each other more than you wish to acknowledge.

"What?" Catherine looked at her inquiringly.

"Nothing, my dear," Anne laughed to herself," I think you ought to go."

"Anne," she started to say," Do you think he cares? I mean honestly?"

"Maybe you should ask him?"

She looked at the letter nervously, wondering if she did go what would happen.

"I'm not as sure as you if I ought to go."

Posted on Friday, 7 May 1999

Catherine looked at Anne and sighed and glanced at the letter determination setting on her face. "Okay," she started. "I'll go, but only one thing you have to so is to help me escape father."

Anne's eyes widened as she fidgeted nervously and swallowed," Umm...Catherine, although you can handle father I don't think I can."

"Sure you can," Catherine smiled at Anne reassuringly, then smiled wickedly. "No fear, because Cathy's here!"

"But...but, Cathy..." Anne whined, then sighed. "Okay, I'll help you sneak out, but you owe me."

Catherine grinned at Anne as she gave her a grateful hug, "Thank you so much you won't regret it."

"Oh, but there will be a price, my dear Lady Catherine," Anne grinned mischievously at her.

"Pray, tell me what it is?"

"I want every single detail that you can muster up," Anne proclaimed.

"Okay, okay." Catherine smiled wickedly at her sister," So, here's the plan.."

Posted on Tuesday, 18 May 1999

After conspiring with her sister to escape the next day for her outing with Mr. Percy and his sister, Catherine went to take a walk outside at Matlock Lake. Her favorite spot was right at the center of the bridge because when she was younger her mother would tell her stories there.

"Cathy," her mother's voice said softly, in her ear, just as she remembered it, "What are you doing?"

"Mama," young Cathy said. "I'm reaching for the stars."

Catherine's mother laughed, her musical laugh made birds sing, then she turned to her daughter seriously, "Catherine I have something to tell you."

"Yes, mama," young Catherine looked at her mother as she flashed her a grin.

"Cathy," her mother's eyes watered over, "I have to tell you that I won't be on earth soon."

"You won't?" Cathy looked at her mother puzzled. "Can I go with you?"

"No, you can't my dear," Her mother sighed wistfully as she brushed her daughter's hair. "But.. when you feel lonely, afraid and need someone to talk to, look up at the stars my dearest. And I'll always be there listening."

Catherine leaned over the bridge post as she recollected her mother's words. She raised her eyebrows to the sky and smiled wistfully at it.

"Hullo, mum," she called up to the sky, "I have to ask you something, that I wish you were here to answer, how do you know when you are in love?"

She looked up at the stars as if she were hearing the ultimate answer to her question. The stars illuminated her hair, and her blue eyes looked like jewels as they sparkled. Catherine looked up at the stars devotedly until she heard the sound of horses' hooves.

She dashed as fast as she could off of the bridge, but it was no use: she ran into both the horse and the rider.

"Catherine!" he exclaimed as he watched her fall in the lake.

"John!" her mouth fell open as she saw his face, then realized she was falling into the lake. "Help!"

Before he realized what he was doing, he jumped in after her and pulled her out. After reaching safe ground she hugged him in happy relief.

As she looked back down at the lake she laughed at herself," John, you are my savior, you saved me from three feet of water."

He too looked back down at the lake and back at her and laughed. "Yes, I guess it is pretty funny." His eyes focused on her more closely dreamily.

Catherine had noticed his change in demeanor and was nervous.

"Catherine," he grinned at her sincerely, nervous." Can I tell you-"

Posted on Wednesday, 19 May 1999

John looked at Catherine's face. It was so alluring, lovely, and a tinge of nervousness to it. His heart and mind said to her, Catherine I honestly have to tell you I admire and love you. Although, it may sound strange to be in love considering the short time we have met, I am. Catherine, I love you.

But he flashed back into reality and remembered who Catherine was. A lady would never marry a gentleman like him, even if he did have twenty pounds a year. In short, she was too good for him.

"Catherine, I have to tell you," he hesitated and swallowed and took a deep breath, "My sister, Merriwheather, is hoping very much to make your acquaintance."

Chicken, he mumbled to himself.

Catherine's eyes met his for a moment, then she looked away trying to hide her disappointment. "Oh, yes," she said somewhat flustered. "I am looking very much forward to meeting her too."

John smiled at her and realized that she was shivering because she was wet. "Catherine," he said concerned. "Please take my coat."

"What about you?" Catherine inquired.

"Don't worry about me," he said firmly, "It's my fault that I bumped into you."

"Well," a smile formed on Catherine's lips as she said forwardly. "I must say I don't regret bumping into you."

John stopped in his tracks, startled by her words. "Catherine," he said as he turned back to look at her.

"Yes?"

He paused unable to say what exactly what he felt. "Nothing."

"Can I ask you a question, John," Catherine asked with great hesitantly.

"Most certainly," he smiled reassuringly.

"What exactly are your intentions towards me?"

Posted on Thursday, 20 May 1999

"Cathy!" Catherine heard her sister call. Silently she groaned and screamed in anguish at her younger sister. Then she realized that her sister had to call her for some good reason, particularly one person: Father. And he would not be happy seeing her with Mr. Percy.

She looked at John, her eyes frightened and said abruptly, "I have to go."

"Catherine," he held her back just as she was to turn away. "Are you quite alright."

"Yes," she insisted her eyes glancing rapidly at the places that her father might appear from. "I can't explain now. John, please I have to go."

Wordlessly, compassion painted on his face he nodded at her and let her go. She handed him the coat he had given her and whispered into his ear, "Until tomorrow, Mr. John Percy."

Then before John could say anything Catherine gathered her composure and flew.

John gripped the coat and put on his cheek, smelling her wonderful scent as he watched her go.

"Lady Catherine Fitzwiliam," he whispered. "I believe my intentions are that I love you."

Little did John know that Anne Fitzwilliam was behind him listening as he said this.

She cleared her throat, "Excuse me, sir. Have you seen my sister?"

"May I ask who she is?"

"Oh," Anne's face flushed in embarrassment. "That would be a good idea to tell you. She is Lady Catherine Fitzwilliam."

For some reason, the man's face flushed red upon hearing the lady's name.

"And you are may I ask?" he gained his composure enough to inquire.

"Oh, I am Lady Anne Fitzwilliam," she looked at him closely and smiled to herself. She had had suspicions of who this man was, but she wanted him to affirm it. "I don't believe we have met before, who might you be?"

"Mr. Percy," he said friendly.

"Mr. Percy," she mused over the name as she thought to herself 'Aah!. So this is the man Catherine is desperately in love with, although she won't admit it.' "Now, we have properly introduced ourselves might you tell me if you know where my sister is?"

"I have no idea," he lied. He looked at her closely, "Lady Anne Fitzwilliam? I have heard of you before."

"From whom?" Anne said suspiciously. She wondered what exactly did her sister and John talked about. Hopefully, not her. "Anybody I am acquainted with?"

"Maybe," he laughed at the look Anne gave him following this remark. "All right, I'll tell you. My best friend, George Darcy."

Anne gulped, trying to hide the love in her eyes at the mention of this man. She replied innocently," Well, what did he say?"

"That you are a scoundrel, a misfit, and an ugly duckling. You are terror to your family, he has never liked you, oh, and yes very highly gullible."

He laughed wickedly as he said this last remark.

"What!" Anne exclaimed as her face first turned white, then blue, and red followed suit. "Please tell me you are joking, sir."

He laughed at her, "Of course I am joking!" He gave her a wicked grin," Except for one thing."

"Well, what is it?" she asked fearfully, her eyes wide.

"You are extremely gullible." A loud bursting of laughter from his side followed suit to this remark.

"Ooo.. you are infuriating," she exclaimed as he laughed harder at her. "No wonder Cathy likes you, you both have the same wicked sense of humour."

He stopped in the middle of laughing stunned, "Catherine likes me?"

"Oh, no," Anne winced feeling like she could crawl up a hole. "You didn't know?"

John lowered his eyes and shook his head.

"Well, John how do you feel about her?" She inquired now that she had him trapped.

He walked a few steps away from Anne. "I should be telling her what I feel, not you."

"Well, why don't you?" she asked.

"I..I...I don't know," he said exasperated. "I'm too scared. I'm scared to tell her I love her and have her tell me she doesn't love me." He paused and realized what he just said. He looked into Anne's eyes painfully, urgently.

"Lady Fitzwiliam," he said as he griped her hand in total urgency. "You must not tell Catherine."

"Why not?" she asked.

"Because it is not you who has to tell her, it is I."

"Then tell her," Anne said solemnly. "Tell her Mr. Percy because.. because... because she wants you to."

Posted on Friday, 21 May 1999

As John Percy was talking to her sister, Catherine went into Matlock House.

"Anne," she whispered softly.

"She isn't here," a man's force said gruffly. "Come." he demanded as if he were calling a dog.

Catherine slowly made her way into his study.

"Faster, girl," he demanded. "I haven't got all day."

"Yes, sir," she said her eyes lowered.

"Lady Fitzwilliam." he looked down at her smiling for the first time at her weakness. "Since you seem to think you are such an adult, a lady, I have betrothed you."

Catherine's head went up sharply, her breath sucked in. " Father, you can't make me marry someone I don't love!"

"Like hell I can!" he exclaimed with deep rage. "Girl, I have I had enough of this attitude. Why don't you act like a lady should? Oh, what's the sense of asking you? You are too stupid to understand. Thank God I sent Andrew off to Eton before he was instilled in your rotten qualities."

Catherine silently rolled her eyes at this as she knew next to Anne, Andrew was the most amiable of the Fitzwilliam children, but it was no thanks to her father. It was just that Andy was born with mother's disposition.

"Lady Fitzwilliam," he said sharply, snapping his fingers hard. "Are you listening our are you both dumb and deaf?"

"Of course, I am listening father," she said abruptly, having no idea what her father just said to her.

"So you know whom you are to be betrothed to?" he asked menacingly.

Catherine looked down and whispered, "No."

"Stupid piece of dog," he said," Oh, I suppose you want me to give you the pleasure of repeating this information, hmm?"

"Please be so kind, father," Catherine whispered weakly as she thought of John Percy.

"Sir Lewis de Bourgh," he pronounced spontaneously.

Catherine's face fell as she felt herself sinking from the depths of the earth. She could not, would not imagine herself married to the most disgusting man on the face of the earth, next to her father. She could just imagine what would happen to her if she was married to him.

"Father," she said slowly, "I know I am not your most favorite creature on earth, but you cannot do this to me! By making me marry him, you are setting out to break me! Please say you are not doing this."

"No!" her father exclaimed with a murderous look on his face.

"But..," she sputtered," I don't love him!"

"You'll learn to," he replied sharply.

"But," she replied boldly, "I don't want to."

On hearing this reply, her father's eyes opened wide and had a murderous rage in them. "You'll learn to love him, because I tell you to!" He yelled as he grabbed her dress before she ran. "Come back here!" He shook her and yelled," YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF MEAT, YOU WILL MARRY HIM!" He whipped his hand around and started hitting her hard. After he was finished, he watched her sob and said," Good, I hope you suffer. You'll accept what you have to do, soon or else." He looked at her menacingly before he left his study.

Catherine sobbed thinking about his words and cried softly through her tears," John, please save me, now...."

Posted on Sunday, 23 May 1999

Anne Fitzwilliam walked into the house hearing nothing but dead silence. "Catherine," she called softly.

She was answered by a weak sob coming from her father's study. Anne ran into the study and saw Catherine clutching a pillow looking as if she had the world and lost it.

"Cathy," she said as she knelt down beside her sister, smoothing out her hair, "What's wrong?"

Catherine looked weakly at her sister, "Anne... I don't know what to do."

"Oh, Cathy," Anne forced a smile, "You always know what to do."

"What if I were to tell you that I am betrothed to Sir Lewis de Bourgh?"

Anne's eyes widened, "Surely, you can't tell me... NO! Cathy, you can't be engaged to that piece of scum. What happened?"

"Father happened," Catherine laughed mournfully. "Every time I get closer to happiness he destroys it. My hope."

"Oh, Catherine don't talk that way," Anne replied smoothing out her hair. She lifted up Catherine's face. "Now, look at me. Cathy I will stop this. We will stop this."

"I don't know what is worse," Catherine looked down. "Knowing I could have love if it were given to me..."

"Are you talking about John?" Anne asked.

"How did..." Catherine swallowed. "How did you know?"

"Catherine, you know you love him. Make him admit what he knows-he loves you."

"What's the use of knowing now?" Catherine cried.

"Let me worry about your problem," Anne said mysteriously. "You have to find out if he loves you, to make my plan work."

"What plan?" Catherine inquired. "Anne what are you conspiring?"

Anne made no answer, but instead gave her sister a mischievous look. But inside, through the depths of her heart, Anne was scared for her sister.

Posted on Monday, 24 May 1999

The next morning, Catherine got up from her bed. The first thing she heard was knocking on her door.

"Psst. Cathy, wake up," Anne motioned toward her.

Catherine rubbed her eyes sleepily. "Whaaat?"

Anne groaned silently to herself. "Don't tell me you have forgotten about our plan."

"Plan?" Catherine asked confused, then it hit her. "Oh, I had almost forgotten."

"Cathy!" Anne moaned exasperated. "How could you forget?"

"I was just thinking, Anne," Catherine said thoughtfully. "Do you think I am being unfair to John?"

"You would be even more unfair if you didn't see him today," Anne proclaimed. And said under her breath, Lord knows you want to see him.

"It's just..." Catherine hesitated." I don't want to hurt him."

"Don't worry about it Cathy," Anne insisted," I'll take care of it. Now get dressed."

"Okay, okay," Catherine laughed, for it was usually she who ordered her sister.

After she finished dressing she met Anne outside of her room.

"Now, be quiet," Anne whispered. "Remember the plan or will I have to repeat that too."

"I've got it, I've got it," Catherine whispered hastily. Then she touched her sister hand, concerned, "Don't hurt yourself, Anne."

Anne rolled her eyes and silently laughed, "Don't worry I won't. Just remember."

Catherine furrowed her brow, "Remember what?"

"Don't kiss John too much."

Catherine laughed, "Oh, you are unbelievable."

"I know, I know," Anne whispered. "Now, remember to start leaving the house when I call "Daddy, daddy, come quick now."

Catherine saluted her, "Yes madam."

Anne said, "Ready go."

Anne slowly, tripped on the rug and fell down the stairs calling "Daddy, Daddy", while Catherine ran quick as a mouse. No one saw her leaving the house except one person - she was giving her sister a wink and grimacing in pain at the same time.

Posted on Wednesday, 26 May 1999

Catherine rushed out of the house as fast as she could without looking back. Wildly she ran through a patch of wildflowers into the woods. When she was finally out of sight she finally looked down at her dress.

Panting hard she remarked to herself, "I am actually wearing this?? What must have gone through my mind?"

She could hear in her mind her sister telling her, "My golly, Cathy don't worry about these things, you know John will like you no matter what you wear."

"How can you be so sure that John likes me?" Catherine asked softly to herself. She gathered herself, determined and went to the spot that John and her first met, to meet him and his sister.

Meanwhile, waiting under an apple tree a girl of nine with shiny blond hair and bright blue eyes was laughing. "John... stop making me laugh," she said through her laughter.

"Merri," he grinned at her as he tweaked her nose," Be good."

Merriweather Percy rolled her eyes at her elder brother, "It's more like, you be good."

She looked at him and sighed. It wasn't often now that John could take time to joke around with her. Before their parents died, they were best chums. He was always so happy all the time. Now, he had more responsibility and was serious all the time. Ever since yesterday, he seemed to revert to his old happy self. Sure, he still resumed his responsibilities, but the cheerfulness and optimism he seemed to have lost was there.

Merriweather cleared her throat,"John, is Catherine pretty?"

John sighed peacefully, recalling Catherine's sparking brown eyes," She is the most beautiful creature I have ever met."

Merriweather wrinkled her forehead and pouted, "What about me?"

John rolled his eyes, "You both take first."

Merriweather's eyes sparkled happily at him, "I hope she makes you happy, John."

"She does, "he looked down on his little sister with a fond smile, "Indeed she does."

"John," they heard a lady call.

The Percys turned around bewildered. The lady smiled friendly and said, "You must be Merriweather."

Merriweather looked confused. This couldn't be Catherine, she was supposed to come the other way. "Who are you?" she inquired curiously.

Posted on Thursday, 27 May 1999

The lady laughed silently at Merriweather's confusion," I'm sorry if I scared you, my dear."

John grinned at the lady with a mischievous gleam in his eye, "Miss Merriwheather Percy, I would like for you to meet Lady Catherine Fitzwillliam."

The lady and the girl likewise curtseyed. Then the paused, nervously.

"I'm terribly sorry if I scared you," Catherine bit her lip, nervously hoping not to leave a bad impression. "It's just that I decided to take a shorter route. It is a nice walk from Matlock House, though."

"You live at Matlock House?" Merriwheather said in awe. "I have always admired the house, although I rather live at Merriwether Castle than anywhere."

"The castle was named after you?" Catherine asked hoping to receive an amusing answer.

Merriwheather laughed at the question, "I would like to think so, however I am not. John is though."

"John is what - the castle's namesake?" Catherine asked Merriwheather as she sent a wink to John.

"Well, yes," Merriwheather laughed. "John's middle name is Castle."

"And everyone of my children will carry the marvelous name of Castle," he chimed in. He nudged Merriwheather as he whispered into her ear.

Merriwheather looked up startled and laughed to herself, "Oh, I almost had forgotten, I picked these flowers for you."

Catherine held something out for Merriweather, "Well, I did too! Great minds think alike, eh?"

"Thank you very much, Merriwheather," Catherine said softly. "I will treasure these always."

"Your very welcome," Merriwheather grinned happily at her. Her elder brother looked at her and raised his eyebrows. "Oh, I'm sorry. Thank you very much Lady Catherine Fitzwilliam."

"Please call me Catherine," Catherine said friendly. "All my friends call me that."

"Thank you," Merriwheather blushed at the compliment of being called Catherine's friend.

John looked at them both. He thought to himself-'This is heaven the woman and the girl I love best in the world here with me. Nothing ever could go wrong'. He sighed blissfully and focused his eyes on Catherine's mischievous sparkling eyes and her beautiful face.

Posted on Tuesday, 1 June 1999

John cleared his throat and tried hard to focus his mind off of Catherine. It wasn't working. "Catherine," he smiled at her, "Merriwheather and I are going to go on a picnic. I hope you wouldn't mind going. Would you?" he inquired nervously.

Catherine grinned at him. "Yes, most certainly. But, may I ask where is this picnic?"

"Well, I would like to take you to Merriwheather and my favorite place to picnic. Unfortunately we will have to row boats on Matlock Lake to get there."

"Don't worry," Merriwheather said as she saw a nervous look fall upon Catherine's face. "I am a great rower."

"Well..." John hesitated. "You are good, but not strong enough yet to row by yourself. Catherine have you ever been rowing before?"

"I have all my life," Catherine said shyly. "I'm just concerned about Merriwheather."

"You don't have to worry about me," Merriwheather patted her arm reassuringly. "I can take care of myself."

Catherine bit her lip and sighed, "Well, okay. John you know Merriwheather's abilities better than I do."

"Wait a second before you take off," John yelled at the two females as they were climbing into the boat. "I have to go back to get the basket."

Merriwheather rolled her eyes as she turned to Catherine. "John's always forgetting everything."

Catherine laughed at her expression, "I suppose that's why you love him."

Merriwheather smiled at her warmly, "I guess so."

"I got the basket," John called gleefully at them. "Ready to go?"

"Yes!" the females yelled back.

"Remember to be careful," he warned.

The woman and the child both grabbed onto the oars and began working together. After some time, Catherine realized that Merriwheather was a steady worker and every bit as good as she said she was. When the reached in the middle of the lake it was quite a bit deeper. Catherine wasn't nervous because she had been out here before, but she was worried for Merriwheather.

"Are you alright?" she asked her anxiously.

"Don't worry," Merriwheather grinned at her. "I've done this dozens of times."

"Merriwheather..." she hesitated to ask, "Do you know how to swim."

"No," the girl answered softly.

"Your brother didn't..." she started to say.

"My brother is the best one I have. He didn't teach me partly because he was scared to and partly because when he was going to teach me..." she stopped her voice growing to a whisper.

"I'm sorry. I know John is great. He is one of the greatest persons I know," she said softly.

"But, Catherine," Merriwheather boldly asked. "Do you love him?"

Just before Catherine was about to answer, a stray dog jumped onto their boat. The weight from the animal forced the boat to tip over and sink. Catherine went straight under the water and with all her weight and energy forced herself up the surface. She looked around. There was no Merriwheather. A flash of memory went through her mind.

"No, I can't swim." She remembered Merriwheather saying.

"Omigod," she shrieked before she went under the water to find Merriwheather. "John, it's Merriwheather!"

She dove into the water hoping, searching to find a bright-eyed girl. She was desperately searching to save her life.

Posted on Wednesday, 2 June 1999

Catherine searched underwater helplessly for Merriwheather. When all hope seemed to be lost, she reached her. Quickly, Catherine grabbed onto the girl's body with a metal-tight grip and swam toward the surface. As soon as they reached the surface, she made sure none of Merriwheather's head was touching the water. She looked around for John hoping for help. She silently cursed to herself when she didn't see him. "John!" she shrieked. "I need help!"

Out of thin air a rope appeared. As Catherine arrived closer to land she could see two men pulling her and Merriwheather. She looked back at the girl as she held her to see if she was alright. "It's going to be okay," she said to reassure her. "You are going to be okay." She said deliberately commanding her to be alright.

As soon as they reached land, the men hurriedly went to Merriwheather's side.

"Push her head up, George," John commanded to his friend, concern written on his face.

"Aye," George said as he gently pushed up his best friend's sister's head up and smacked her back.

They suddenly heard a cough come from Merriwheather. "Thank god," John said in utter relief. "She's alright."

"Merri," John said softly to his sister. "Are you okay?"

The girl looked around focusing her eyes, trying to remember what happened. "I...think so," she said hesitantly.

John kissed her forehead as he tried to hide the tears that were slowly traveling down his face. "This is my fault."

"John," Merriwheather interrupted. "No, it's not." Her eyes suddenly focused on Catherine. "You saved my life. How can I ever repay you?"

"Repay me for what?" Catherine smiled down at her as she smoothed out the girl's hair. "You would have done the same for me. Don't tire yourself, dearest."

Merriwheather weakly grinned at her. "Thank you," she said softly.

John suddenly said, "George, what were you thinking bringing your mongrel out here?"

"I'm sorry," he protested. "I didn't know he was going to jump into the lake. I will punish him for this."

"No, Mr. Darcy," Merriwheather protested. "Please don't punish him. He is just fond of me, that's all. The poor pup just wasn't thinking."

George smiled down on her, "Hopefully one day I'll have a daughter just as forgiving as you are."

The he turned to John, "John I could take Merriwheather back to Merriwheather Castle while you take the lady back on home." Before John could protest he added, "It's a heck of a lot faster, John."

"Well,okay," John turned to his friend, "On one condition I get to strap her into the horse."

"Okay," George grinned.

As John was strapping Merriwheather onto the horse Mr. Darcy turned to Catherine. "I believe we have met before, haven't we?"

"We should have," a mischievous smile went upon Catherine's face for the first time since the incident. "You are very acquainted with my sister, Anne."

"Aha! Lady Catherine Fitzwilliam," he smiled. "I must ask how is your sister?"

"Very well, sir," she stopped and hesitated and said in a lower tone, "How long have you known Mr. Percy?"

"I believe all my life," George smiled, "He's the best chap I know. It hit him pretty hard, his parents' deaths. I wouldn't wish his fate on any of my children. But, I would wish them his optimism to keep going on."

"Yes," Catherine said softly looking back on John.

"It surprises me that you haven't met him sooner," he grinned.

"Why is that?" she inquired raising her eyebrows.

"Oh, just because," George said saved by the sight of John.

"Ready, Catherine?" John asked looking back on his sister nervously.

"Yes," she said as she saw where John was looking to and added in a whisper, "She'll be fine."

"Quite right," John sighed then turned to his friend. "Darcy, if anything happens to her-"

"It'll be my head," George finished. "I know, I know." As he slowly rode off.

As John and Catherine climbed into the boat, he turned to her and said, "I'm sorry about..."

"John," she interrupted softly, "What do you have to be sorry about?"

"So many things, for one my sister. It was my fault," he started.

"It wasn't your fault," Catherine insisted, touching his arm to comfort him. "You couldn't have known the dog was going to jump onto the boat. It's not your fault, John."

"I know, but it's not just that. It's how I've been treating you. You asked a proper question last night and I failed to answer it," he stated.

"John, you have treated me nothing less than a lady. You have always been a gentleman," Catherine said reassuringly.

"Catherine, I have to tell you something," he said quickly, ignoring everything, but what he had to say.

"Yes?" she said in a whisper.

"I have to tell you that I..," he said nervously, rapidly. "That I.. That I.."

"That I love you," Catherine finished looking down.

"Yes!" he proclaimed. "I love you, Catherine. I think I have from the first moment I saw you. Please do me the honor of telling me that you could possibly love me too."

Catherine looked up at his face and one glance, one look told John all he needed to know. "John," she said falteringly. "I love you."

Slowly, he bent down and touched his lips toward hers. The shock of the first kiss excited and shocked them both. The kiss was one of their greatest moments they ever felt.

After they ended their kiss, John hoarsely whispered, "You not only saved my sister's life, but you saved mine also."

Silently, Catherine asked him, "Could you ever save mine, John?" But the words never came out of her mouth.

Posted on Saturday, 5 June 1999

As they reached closer to land, Catherine grew more anxious. She started remembering the position in which she was in and how much she didn't want to hurt John. When they landed on shore, she practically leaped out of the boat. She almost ran, but remembered herself.

"Goodbye, Mr. Percy," she said as she curtseyed to him.

The said Mr. Percy raised his eyebrows. "Catherine, did I say or do anything wrong?"

Catherine's eyes watered at his words. Of course you didn't do anything wrong she wanted to say. It's me. John, for the first time in my life I wish I wasn't me.

"No," she said calmly with great composure on her part.

"Catherine," he hesitated to ask. "Were you lying to me when you said you loved me? I love you. I don't care if you love me, my love for you is enough. Wait, yes I do. Tell me the truth."

Her eyes finally watered as tears fell down her cheeks, "John, I love you and you must believe that. But this shall be the last time I ever mention it."

Then she ran as fast as she could before she could see the expression on his face.

"Catherine," he called after her. "What's wrong?" Then without thinking, he ran after her.

Posted on Monday, 7 June 1999

John quickly ran over to Catherine and gasped in surprise as he saw tears running down her cheeks. He grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her to him. "Catherine," he said with great emotion. "What's the meaning of this? Tell me, what's wrong. Do you not trust me?"

Catherine let out a sob when she heard his last words, "Of course, I trust you. I don't trust myself."

John wrinkled his face with great concern. "You, I promise you, did not do anything wrong. Do you not see that?"

Catherine let out a sob and cringed and wailed, "You do not understand."

"Understand what?" he asked somewhat impatiently.

"I am engaged, John," she said softly.

"You are what?" he asked taken aback, in shock.

"I am engaged," she said softly, then ran before she could see the reaction on his face.

John watched her go, in shock. Not knowing what to do, what to say he did the only thing he knew how to- walk home.

Running home, Catherine walked swiftly into her sister's room. In her room she saw her sister with her ankle up on a pillow. Anne sat up quickly as she saw her sister.

"Cathy," she asked with extreme concern. "What's wrong?"

"Anne," Catherine sobbed. "Everything. Oh, everything. What's your plan now?"

Anne bit her lip unable to tell her sister, "I'm sorry, Cathy there is no plan."

Catherine looked up swiftly, "And so am I just supposed to suffer? Please Anne, give me hope. Because I don't got any."

"Cathy," Anne said softly, finally figuring out her sister's sorrow. "Did you tell him?"

Catherine's sob gave Anne the answer she needed to know.

Posted on Sunday, 13 June 1999

Two weeks after their conversation, Anne noticed Catherine returning to herself. But, there was that look of sadness on her face no one could ignore. While Catherine was playing with her dog Princess, Anne walked over to her holding a letter in her hand.

"Hello, Cathy," she said as she smiled upon her sister. "Am I interrupting something?'

Catherine looked up from Princess and gave her sister a playful grin. "Not at all." She sat up and leaned against a tree while petting Princess as she noticed the letter in Anne's hand. "Who wrote you, Prince Darcy?"

Anne tried to suppress her smile, but it didn't work. She looked at her sister sheeplissly. "Well, yes. And guess what?"

Catherine raised her eyebrows. "What?"

"He has invited to the ball at Pemberely," she looked down at the letter she held. "He says we are cordially invited to the ball. He also adds the Elliots, Kingstons, Marshall, Hampshires, and Percys will be attending. He says he wants me to be prepared to meet his friends. Isn't it great, Cathy!" She asked her sister overflowing with excitement.

Catherine slipped down the tree weakly and gave her sister a reluctant grin and said softly, "Yes, it is great."

"Well," Anne sighed happily. "I think I better ask father if we can go. But he will not refuse will he?"

"Surely not," Cathy replied.

As Anne ran to ask her father, Catherine sat underneath the tree scared. She hadn't seen John since she had told him that she was engaged. Forget him, she told herself. For your good and his, forget him. But another part of her wondered-Was this fate?

But, she swallowed her unwept tears and picked up the letter Anne left behind her. The end of the letter interested her.

Anne, John Percy has asked me to tell your sister thank you for saving Merriweather's life. I wonder why he won't see her and tell her himself. Whenever I mention her name, he grows constantly distant. I know you have mentioned your sister being the same way. Maybe this ball will clear it up their difficulties. What do you think?

Posted on Monday, 14 June 1999

As always, Catherine thought somewhat bitterly, sitting in the carriage in an ivory-colored dress with ruby earrings which showed off her eyes and her utter beauty. Anne gets what she wants. Catherine would have been more than happy for her, but Catherine knew, that her own position was not so good. She huffed despairingly.

"Don't pout, "Anne said smoothly, grinning at her. She looked at her father, he was asleep. "It's not very becoming for you."

Catherine rolled her eyes at her sister and hissed, "How would you feel if you were in my position? You know the only reason father wants me to go."

Anne sighed in dissatisfaction on that point. Yes, she knew. Lewis de Bourgh would be there. She cringed just thinking of his slimy self. Eww... gross. And she was also imagining having kids with him. She blinked her eyes to avoid the thought. Now, her and George. That was an extremely pleasant thought.

"Look, Anne, "Catherine said somewhat sharply. "I don't know how you would feel, but I'm not looking very much forward to this ball."

She'd better be, Anne thought. George and her had devised a little plan throughout their correspondence. And it was part of the reason that she'd campaigned so hard to get Catherine to come.

Suddenly, Catherine heard the carriage stop. She closed her eyes as she saw Pemberely standing in the mist, awaiting them. Her heart cried out violently, as she awaited either a loving face or a greasy gross face to come into her future, dreams, and hopes.

Posted on Tuesday, 15 June 1999

Catherine entered the ballroom in a trace. She greeted quick, but warm hello to George Darcy as he greeted her sister lovingly. Catherine's father took her by the arm and led her towards Sir Lewis de Bourgh. It had been along time since she had last seen him, but he looked as pasty and greasy as ever.

"It is nice to see you as ever, Sir de Bourgh," her father looked up to him with a cool smile. It was the closest thing to a smile her father could get.

"Yes, it is always," de Bourgh said crisply. He focused his cool blue eyes on Catherine. Catherine had already noticed a remarkable difference in de Bourgh's eyes and Percy's- de Bourgh's were cool blue daggers and John's...well, his eyes touched her soul with warmth. de Bourgh bowed to her, "It is nice to see you as ever, Lady Fitzwilliam. Would you mind dancing?"

Catherine had no choice, but to give the answer that was expected out of her, "Yes." Then she took his arm and headed out to the dance floor.

At the other end of the ballroom, George Darcy headed toward his friend John Percy.

"Hullo, George," John grinned at him. "Where's Anne?"

"She went to the powder room," George smiled contentedly, then looked at his friend. He was staring at Catherine Fitzwilliam. "Have you tried talking to her?" he whispered.

"Who is she dancing with?" John asked avoiding the question.

George took a sip of his wine and focused on Catherine Fitzwilliam. "I believe Sir Lewis de Bourgh. She has become lately engaged to him, I have just found out talking to her father. But, unfortunately he will have to postpone the wedding for ten months. He evidently has a business trip." He looked at his friend suggestively.

John made no response and then said after a couple of minutes in thought, "Ten months, George? Could you live without your fiancé for ten months?"

George gave him a sheepish grin, "Not if was Anne. I don't believe I could even survive a minute."

"That's how I would feel," John responded.

"Talk to her, John. You know you want to," George urged him.

John sighed and listened as the music ended and left his friend. He was nervous ever since he saw Catherine enter the ballroom, but no one knew it. Finally, he was near enough to speak to her.

"Lady Fitzwilliam," he asked. "Could you please dance with me?"

Catherine turned from the friend she was speaking to and saw him. Shocked, she tried to hide a gasp. She pardoned herself to her friend and said "Yes."

When they finally were out on the dance floor he spoke to her. "Catherine, I need to talk to you."

"Not here," she whispered. "There is too many people around."

"We can talk outside," he offered. "I'm sure George won't mind."

"But," she said mischievously for once. "You promised me a dance."

He chuckled at her, she didn't lose her wit. "I'll make a compromise we can dance outside."

"As you wish, Mr. Percy," she replied as the two headed outside.

Posted on Wednesday, 16 June 1999

As soon they were out of sight of everyone at the ball and deep into the Pemberely woods, Catherine turned to John. "What do you want to talk about, Mr. Percy?"

"Mr. Percy, is it?" he asked her. "What ever happened to John?"

"Mr. Percy," she reproached him. "You must remember that I am engaged."

"Who cares about the engagement?" he demanded to know. "I don't, do you? The only way I could care about that stupid engagement is if you told me you love that greasy scum. Well, do you?"

"I don't love him, but it doesn't matter. I have an obligation to my family..."

"You have an obligation to yourself, Catherine," he interrupted her. "Tell me that you don't love me and I'll go away."

"Can't we just be friends?" Catherine offered wearily.

John turned to her, with passion gleaming through the very core of him, "Tell me Catherine, honestly now, that you could be "just friends" with me."

She bit her lip, "I can't tell you that."

A second or two evaporated like thin air before John spoke up again, "Catherine, I wanted to talk to you because...I want you to marry me."

"But, John I'm already engaged!" she said in anguish.

John took her in his arms and kissed her tears, she did not refuse having him there. "It doesn't matter, Catherine. We can elope. George and Anne can be our best man and our maid in honor."

"But, my father," she wailed. "He'll find out and stop us."

"No he won't," he assured her. "And what's so bad about me anyway. I'm not marrying you for money, I have enough of that. What I need and cannot live without is your love. Marry me, Catherine. I'm begging you!"

She looked at him dazed unable to know what to do.

He raised his eyebrows at her, "I see you want this done properly. Will you Lady Catherine Fitzwilliam marry me?"

She bit her lip unable to decide. She loved him, but what about her family? Anne would be happy and so would Andrew, right? And that's all that mattered. She looked down at the man she loved, how desperately she wanted him. "Yes," she said softly.

"Yes?" he asked. "Yes," it finally dawned on him, Catherine was going to be his wife!

He picked her up and swung her around and cheerful glee. Then set her on the ground. He looked into her eyes and kissed her. Nothing was sweeter than this moment for him.

Posted on Friday, 18 June 1999

Mrs. John Percy, she wrote on a piece of paper on her desk at home. No, Lady Catherine Percy. Catherine Percy. The wife of John Percy. Catherine Abigail Percy. She put down her pen and sighed to herself. Nothing could go wrong now, well, Father could catch them. She bit her lip just thinking about it, then pushed away the idea resuming her work. Lady Percy...

She looked up when she heard the door close as someone came and tried to hide the paper.

"Hi, Cathy," Anne said to her dreamily. "What are you doing?"

Catherine folded her hands over the paper in an attempt to hide it, "Oh, nothing. So I take it you had a good time with George?"

Anne sighed contently," I had the best time with George. I hope when we have children that they will be as romantic as he."

Catherine raised her eyebrows, "Why do you say that?"

Anne grinned at her, "Well, he has got to pass on the family tradition. Didn't you know Cathy, all Darcys are romantic."

Catherine laughed at her, "I guess that goes for Percys too."

Anne looked at her in surprise," So I see that you didn't beat John off of you."

Catherine looked down and said, "No."

"Okay, Cathy you are hiding something from me, "Anne looked at her. "Now, tell me what."

"John and I are getting married," she whispered.

Anne sat in silence for a couple minutes.

"Anne do you think it's not a good idea?" Catherine inquired anxiously.

Anne bit her lip unable to answer the question. "Do you love him, Catherine?"

"What?" she asked shocked at the question.

"Look," Anne said to her. "I know that you might choose to marry him to not marry Lewis. Let me ask you again, Catherine-do you love him? For it would hurt me to think you would choose to marry someone you don't love."

"Did I choose Lewis?" Catherine asked outraged.

"No," Anne said softly. "But that wasn't your decision."

"My god, Anne I can't believe you are asking me this question," Catherine said as softly as she could for she didn't want their father to hear them. "Of course, I love him. I would give anything to him. Especially my heart."

"You know the risks, don't you?" Anne asked her.

"My risks are the same as yours Anne." she said, then gave her sister a hard blow. "Father will choose your husband also Anne. Don't think that I'm marrying Lewis because I'm the bad child. If you were the eldest, you could just as easily be marrying Lewis." Then added softly, "You will have to take matters in your own hands if you want to marry George."

Anne looked down at her as a tears glided softly down her cheek, "I'm scared for you that you will be caught."

"I'm scared for you that you will be in the same position I am some day," Catherine said softly.

Posted on Saturday, 19 June 1999

In the next three weeks, Catherine got to know John more than ever. And because of this, she loved him more. If that is possible. One night, she went outside to take a walk and put her arms over the bridge and looked at the stars. She closed her eyes. Then opened them again. As she opened her eyes, instead of seeing the stars, she saw John.

"John," she gasped in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

He acted hurt, "Oh, you don't want me here? I'm sorry, madam. I'll leave."

She grasped his arm, "No, John. Don't leave me."

He turned back and looked at her, "You are so beautiful."

She blushed at his words, "No, I'm not. You are."

He looked at her with raw admiration in his eyes, "Do you realize how beautiful you are?"

She looked at him lovingly, "Do you realize how much I love you?"

He tenderly put his hand under her chin and kissed her. She responded more than happily. Each kiss seemed more passionate until they stopped. "I think we better stop, milady. Before we both are in trouble."

She looked at him innocently, "Trouble? I am never in trouble when I am with you."

He looked at her seriously, "Are you sure, Catherine?"

Her only response was a nod as she kissed him with pure passion burning in her eyes.

And then...well, let's just leave as they performed as man and wife would.

Posted on Thursday, 24 June 1999

A month later, she didn't feel so good. Catherine tried to hide it, but lately she had been feeling queasy and nauseous. Anne hadn't noticed, although John did.

One day, while walking he turned to her with great concern. Usually Catherine could walk for miles and never get tired, but the slightest distance made her breathless.

"Cathy," he said to her, his arm around her supporting her. "Are you okay?"

Catherine shrugged it off. "I'm sure it's just influenza. I usually get it about this time of the year."

John looked at her doubtingly and suggested that she would go to the doctor.

But, now as she headed toward the usual spot, she knew in her mind the news was not good. The doctor had told her, she didn't believe it. It wasn't fair. They had enough stress on them already, enough separations. This could hurt them tremendously. But, she saw him standing there waiting for her.

He looked as handsome as usual. His long blond hair was tied back elegantly, and his blue coat showed off his eyes. Each time she saw him, she fell in love with him over again.

"Catherine," he said to her walking swiftly to her. "I missed you." He kissed her.

Catherine sighed nervously and sighed, "I have something to tell you, John."

"Yes," he said anxiously. "What did the doctor say? What's wrong, Catherine?"

"Nothing's wrong," she smiled shakily. "Other than the fact that I'm pregnant."

John remained silent for a long time, absorbing the shock. "You are what?"

"Pregnant John?" she said.

"Is it mine?" he asked her absent-mindedly. Then wished he hadn't said it.

"Of course it is yours, John." Catherine said angrily. "John, I love you. And I would never allow any man to do what you did to me, if I didn't love him."

"I bet you would let Lewis de Bourgh," he said accusingly.

She gave him an astonished look and whispered. "I can't believe you would say that. John, who you think I am?"

He looked down.

"I gave my soul to you, John. I gave everything," she said tears falling down my face as she yelled at him. "Do you know how outraged my father will be when he finds out? He will kill me. Either that or hide the baby and send me off to Lewis. And Lewis will treat me worse when he finds out I am not exactly pure."

John thought about what she said. Then replied softly, "Then marry me, Catherine. Marry me now."

Catherine looked at him with a scowl on her face. An hour ago, she would have agreed. But, she trusted him then. "No, I believe I cannot, Mr. Percy. For I hate you. Good day."

Then she walked off in a different direction.

Posted on Sunday, 27 June 1999

"Percy, have you lost your senses?" Were the first words out of George Darcy's mouth when he heard the story from John Percy himself.

John raised his eyebrows, "I should have expected this kind of reaction from you. After all, you are courting her sister."

Darcy looked at him harshly, it was the look that his son would later inherit. "My god, man. If you weren't my best friend, I would box your brains out. Do you know, who Catherine Fitzwilliam is?"

John looked at him furiously, "Tell me, Darcy since you seem to know her so well. What are you - courting two sisters at the same time?"

Darcy looked at his friend stunned, "Whaaat? I can't believe you would accuse me of such a thing. You know how desperately I love Anne Fitzwilliam. That I would do anything for her." He looked at his friend with tears in his eyes, terribly wounded. "Who are you?"

John bit his lip and looked at his friend and sighed. "I'm sorry. I just feel the need to blame someone. Catherine, you. I'm surprised I haven't blamed Anne or Merriwheather yet."

John looked at Darcy with tears in his eyes. "I wish I could take back every word I said to her, you."

"I forgive you, Percy," George said sincerely. "But, I sense that's not what you want, in part."

John looked at him scared. "She'll never forgive me. I...I wish. I wish I could change that moment. She'll never forgive me or.."

"Or what, John?" Darcy asked.

"Or realize how much I want and need her," he said sadly. "I want the baby because it's hers and mine. I want to marry her and cherish her and take care of her. Because I love her. God, how much I love her."

Darcy looked at him, looked at the despair on his face. He closed his eyes. Hopefully, he wouldn't have to go through this with Anne. But, if he did. But, he corrected himself, if Anne and I did - we'd make it. "John," he looked at him. "Don't say this to me. I'm not Catherine, you need to tell this to her. But -" he warned. "If you break her heart again, I don't think I could forgive you."

John furrowed his brow, questioningly, "Why not?"

"Because if I forgave you," he said softly. "I don't think Anne could forgive me for hurting her sister. Because John, don't you know- you could break Catherine's heart."

Posted on Monday, 28 June 1999

Catherine was walking gently in the woods a month later. Anne didn't know about the pregnancy although she suspected she knew from George Darcy. She bit her lip as she came to her favorite spot. Where the roses where. She looked down and picked one.

"Where did everything go so wrong?" she asked softly to herself, rubbing her stomach lightly. Then she sighed. "I don't regret meeting him. I love him, little child. It's just that he doesn't accept you." She sighed. "No," she looked at her stomach, speaking softly in a timid whisper. "I don't blame you. I blame him...and me."

She clutched the rose more tightly in her hand. "What bothers me the most is that he hasn't made any attempt to talk to me. No word, no action, no voice whispered in my ear."

"What attempt have you made to talk to me?" she heard a husky voice whisper.

She looked up and saw him. Then she looked down at the ground. "Still hiding in trees are you?"

"Still crying about your sorrows to the roses?" he asked in the same tone.

"Why did you betray me?" she asked softly to the clouds.

"Why did you stop loving me?" he asked gently.

She sighed and trembled at his words and softly replied, "I never stopped loving you. You know that, John."

A long silence followed this declaration.

He said softly, so softly she almost couldn't hear him, "I betrayed you because I was scared."

She finally turned to meet his eyes. "Don't you think I'm scared too, John?"

Then he replied. "Do you want the baby, Catherine?"

To this she haltingly said," I want the baby because it's mine and yours, John. But the question is - Do you want the baby John?"

Posted on Friday, 2 July 1999

John remained silent for a moment. Then he suddenly jumped from his tree and bent over her as he grasped her hand.

"Catherine, "he said hoarsely looking into her eyes finally. "You have to understand something- I want the baby. I want the baby because it's you...and me. I want the baby to be a girl that is beautiful as you and as vivacious as you." He looked up at her. "But most of all Catherine, I want you. I want you as my wife- to have, to hold and to cherish. Marry me, Catherine."

She looked into his eyes for a moment, then suddenly turned away. As if she were making a resolution to herself. "I...can't," she whispered. "I can't marry you."

John looked at her silently with a pained expression on his face. Then he finally opened his mouth, "W-Why..?"

Catherine bit her lip to stop the tears that begged to come down her face and composed herself before she answered, "Because I love you."

John absorbed this through the core of his body, then demanded. "If you loved me, you would marry me!"

Finally the tears broke out. "You don't understand!" she cried passionately. "M-My father will never forgive me. My sister will not either. Don't you say she would approve of this, John because she wouldn't. She'd approve of my marriage, even bless it. But she would not approve of my baby."

"I don't care what your sister thinks or even what your father thinks," he said defiantly at her. "I care what you think. Anyway, your sister wouldn't care."

"But after I run off and marry you where will she be-Marrying Sir Lewis de Bourgh!" she yelled.

"So you rather have yourself at that fate than your sister?" he inquired.

She shook her head. "But she doesn't deserve to be punished. I do."

"Oh, I see." John raised his eyebrows. "Since you're pregnant with MY child, you have to punish yourself."

"John, NO!" she said waving her arms in the negative. "I said that wrong." She stopped and then said quietly. "My sister doesn't deserve the elder child's fate. That is my fate. I-I should take it. It's my duty."

John swallowed and looked at her with pain. "Even if it means giving up the life you deserve?"

Catherine smiled at him weakly through her tears. "Don't you know, John? According to society this is the life I deserve."

John knew it was selfish to ask, but he had to ask it. "What about me?"

"You, John?" she said sadly. "You will be given the greatest gift of all, our child."

John looked at her knowing her tremendous sacrifice. Not only was she giving up him, she was giving up her child.

"And you my dearest Catherine?" he said to her sadly.

"And I will end up a bitter and old wretch," she said jokingly.

He put his arm around her waist and cupped her chin with his hand as he said. "Don't joke about these things Catherine. No matter where you are, who you are-I will love you."

"And I will love you," she whispered softly with tears in her eyes before they kissed.

Posted on Thursday, 8 July 1999

29 years later

Elizabeth Darcy was searching through Fitzwilliam's mother's desk, which was now hers. She looked inside the drawers looking for the Pemberely seal to send a letter to her sister Jane. Suddenly she looked inside a little drawer. It was so little one knew it was put there deliberately to be hidden. Expecting it to be a Pemberely seal to be pulled out she looked at her hand in satisfaction. But, it wasn't a Pemberely seal. It was a letter that stated: To Fitzwilliam and Georgiana. Elizabeth looked at the letter in astonishment when she realized whom this letter should be from. She bit her lip and hesitated before she called out, "Fitzwilliam, please come here!"

Fitzwilliam and his sister Georgiana sat next to each other on the sofa. The former sat next to his wife. Hands shaking he opened the letter. He then put it down. He turned to his wife and said, "I can't open it. Would you please, Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth took a deep breath as she opened the letter. She began reading.

Dear Fitzwilliam and Georgiana,

My dear children, as I stand here before my death I realize I need to confess something. Not only for my sake, but also for my sister's. It is not going to be easy to say this, but I will have to. Your Aunt Lady Catherine de Bourgh was not always the way she is now, she was once a beautiful vivacious girl. However that all changed. Remember, Fitzwilliam you once asked me why Catherine acts the way she does, well here is the story.

When Catherine was seventeen she met a man named John Percy. She fell very much in love with him so much so she agreed to marry him. But, she was engaged to Sir Lewis de Bourgh. John and Catherine planned to elope, but then she discovered she was pregnant. Catherine does not know I know about her child. Before he left Pemberely, he showed me their child. She was the most beautiful child, third to only my children. He told me they named her Abigail Anne Percy. Later I would see her as a little girl. She was a little miniature of Catherine. I do not know if Catherine has ever seen her child or John after the birth. But my children, you must promise me to find them. Catherine will not admit that she needs them, but she does. She grew bitter after father died a month after her and Lewis married. The next month I married and moved to Pemberely. Andrew and I received the happiness we wanted and Catherine..... she could achieve it now if she wanted it. This is my final wish, Fitzwilliam and Georgiana.

Remember to marry someone you love, my children. Not because of riches or titles because they really don't mean anything. I leave you now and love you always now matter where I might be.

Yours always,
Lady Anne Darcy

Fitzwilliam looked at Elizabeth and Georgiana in astonishment over his mother's letter. Then he gritted his teeth determinedly. He knew what he had and must do.

Posted on Monday, 12 July 1999

John Percy laughed at his youngest granddaughter and her brown eyes twinkled back at him. When she was born both the Duke and Duchess of Boinlingford were surprised that their child had brown eyes for both of the parents had blue. But, John knew better. He knew exactly why his youngest granddaughter had brown eyes; it was because of Catherine.

"Father," Duchess Abigail said to him. "You have received a letter." She looked at the address curiously. "Do you know anyone from Pemberely?"

Pemberley? John sat upright, shocked. He hadn't received a letter from Pemberely for years. Ever since ...Anne and George died.

He opened the letter with the Pemberely seal and read it. He looked at his only daughter in astonishment. "Abby," he said hoarsely. "How would you feel about visiting Rosings?"

"Rosings?" she softly asked. "I don't believe I have ever heard of it."

He looked at his son-in-law. "Mitchell would you mind?"

Mitchell raised his eyebrows. He got the message. "Kids, how about we leave mum and grandfather alone for awhile."

Obediently the children left the room. Before Mitchell left the room he turned to his wife. "Will you be all right?"

"Perfectly," she smiled at her husband. "Don't worry Mitch."

He gave her one last glance before he left the room.

John finally turned to his daughter. "Do you remember your mother?"

Abigail lowered her eyes. "You know I don't, father. But, you tell me I look exactly like her."

And she did. She was Catherine's mirror image, except Abby had her father's blue eyes.

"Well," John weakly smiled at her as he sighed. "I'm going to tell you a story. Your mother was Lady Catherine Fitzwilliam when I met her. She was beautiful, vivacious, fun-loving and I was absolutely in love with her."

"What happened to her, father?" Abby asked. "Did she die? Why are you telling me this now?"

John ignored her questions and continued on. "I asked her to marry me and she did say yes. Soon after she became pregnant with you. But, you have to understand Abby; she was engaged to someone else. And...and...she married him."

"Father," Abby said seriously. "Who was it? And why didn't you elope?"

John sighed. "We planned to, but..." He hesitated to tell her this part. "But, Catherine was afraid. She was afraid of shaming her family, shaming me and shaming you. When she was on her seventh month I arranged it for her to stay with me in London for two months. And she had you. When she went back home, she did as what was wanted out of her and married Sir Lewis de Bourgh."

"Did she love him?" His daughter asked.

"No," John said truthfully.

"Who was that letter from father?" Abby asked trying desperately to absorb it all.

"Your cousin Fitzwilliam Darcy." He answered her. "He wishes us to meet him at Rosings."

"For whatever for, father?"

"To meet your mother."

Posted on Wednesday, 14 July 1999

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.

-Louisa May Alcott

Catherine sat beside her daughter Anne in a chair. She looked at her daughter critically. She looked too much like her father, for her tastes, but she wished she had some spirit. What no person knew about Anne was that she almost died at birth and it was a miracle she was born. Thus, resulted the bad health.

Suddenly, William Collins and his wife came in. Lady Catherine secretly liked his wife rather well, although she would have died than admit it.

"Good day, Lady Catherine," he opened his mouth. "I am sure you are quite well?"

"Yes," she smiled slightly. "Thank you for asking. And your wife?"

"Yes, well," he opened his mouth for a deep breath and started talking. "BLAH, blah, blah, blah," was all Lady Catherine heard out of his mouth.

At this time, Mr. and Mrs. Darcy came into the room. Elizabeth looked quite pretty, Catherine commented in her mind, but said, "Mrs. Darcy you look quite pale today. Have you tried that new medicine I have given you."

Elizabeth looked at her husband confusedly then replied. "I don't believe I am ill Lady Catherine." She then smiled at her husband. That smile made Lady Catherine jealous. "I am pregnant."

"Pregnant?" Lady Catherine arched her eyebrows. "So soon?"

Before Elizabeth could answer a deep voice answered the question. "Now, Catherine, you weren't that far along with Abigail after you had met me."

Catherine saw the man and his daughter. The woman swatted her father softly on the hand. "Now, father that's not kind to say."

For a moment, Catherine thought she would faint. "Who.....are...you?" she managed to say.

The woman started at her and smiled. "He was right. I do look like you."

"Mother," Anne managed to croak. "Who are these people?"

John looked at Anne. "Is this Lewis' child?"

Catherine nodded unknowingly. "Who are you?"

"Lady Catherine de Bourgh," he said formally. " I am John Percy. May I please introduce Duchess Abigail Boilingford?"

Suddenly, Catherine knew. "Abby?" she whispered. "My Abby?"

"Mother, who is this?" Anne asked.

"It is...it is..." Catherine said. "Your sister."

"M-My sister?" Anne asked in astonishment. "H-How can this be? He must be lying."

Catherine closed her eyes. Never had she been more scared in her life. "H-He is not, Anne. This is your sister."

"My sister," Anne said happily. "I've always wanted a sister, now I have one."

Abigail went to Anne and hugged her.

Catherine looked around the room, overwhelmed. "You must excuse me," she said as she ran out of the room.

Catherine was standing outside looking up in the stars when she heard John. "She's beautiful John. You have raised her well."

"She is beautiful," he agreed. "But Abby is not as beautiful as her mother."

"John," she said still looking at the stars. "I have missed you. I have missed you for a long time."

"Catherine, look at me," said putting his hands on her shoulders.

She turned around, her eyes glassy from tears. "John, " she asked. "Where is your wife?"

"Wife?" he asked. "You must know Catherine, after you, no one else could measure up."

Catherine remained silent to this.

"Do you know or have any idea how long I wanted you? How much I missed you?" he asked desperately. "Why didn't you write me when Lewis died?"

"That's a foolish question, John," Catherine answered. "I wanted you to be happy."

"I am only happy when I am with you," he stated simply.

John looked around the area and saw the roses. "You and roses. Why do you have them Catherine?"

"B-Because," she hesitated to say. "They remind me of you. The day when we first met."

He looked at her deeply searching her eyes, "Catherine, I know we are older now, but I don't love you any less. Can you believe it- I love you more. But, I must say this and I must say it now before the moment passes by. Marry me, Catherine?"

She looked into his eyes and saw what she always wanted, what she never had. One by one her jealously of people in love slipped past her as she looked into John's eyes. She knew this is what she had suffered and waited for.

Looking into John's eyes, with all the love in the world she said, "Always."

The End.