Posted on Wednesday, 24 November 1999, at 9 : 20 p.m.

I realized earlier today it's been a while since I made Jane Austen roll over in her grave...

Ladies and Gentlemen
This is Mambo No 5

One, two, three, four, five
Everybody on the horses, so let's all ride
To the ball just around the corner,
The men say they want some tea and scones
But Edward really don't wanna
Lovebust like he had last week
He must stay in his keep 'cause love is cheap
I like Catherine, Lizzy-Beth and Emma
And as I continue you know they are getting sweeter
So what can I do save plead to you my Lord
To me marriage is just like a sport,
Anything shy it's all good let me chase it
Please set in the trumpet

Chorus:
A little bit of Tilney in my life
A little bit of Churchill on the side
A little bit of Brandon is all I need
A little bit of Darcy is what I see
A little bit of Bingley in the sun
A little bit of Wentworth all night long
A little bit of Knightley, hey here I am
A little bit of him makes him my man

Mambo No.5

Step up and down and waltz it all around
Flirt with your hands to the sound
But put your feet firmly on the ground
Take one step forward and one step back
One to the door and one to my side
Clap your hand once and clap your hand twice
And if it looks like this then your Maggot's right!

Trumpet!

(The trumpet)

Mambo No.5!

A little bit of Tilney in my life
A little bit of Churchill on the side
A little bit of Brandon is all I need
A little bit of Darcy is what I see
A little bit of Bingley in the sun
A little bit of Wentworth all night long
A little bit of Knightley, hey here I am
A little bit of him makes him my man

I love them all
Easy to fall in love with guys like that
You can't run and you can't hide
You and Me gonna touch the sky!

Chorus

This is what happens when I can no longer handle stress. Actually the idea came to me after reading the Highlander Mambo #9(linked below) and the words just fell into place after that!

Highlander Mambo #9