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27 Dark Days, Part 4
The next day dawned. It was one of those typical summer days; bright and warm. None of this lifted Darcy's dark mood, however. The Colonel's words last night had again thrown him into a mire of depression, self-pity and self-loathing, just when he thought that perhaps the pain dating from that day in Kent had diminished ever so slightly.
Bingley had accompanied his two sisters and brother-in-law to the shops. Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst were fine ladies, but in a habit of spending more than they ought. They had extended an invitation to Georgiana and Darcy to join them but as Darcy declined, Georgiana also could not go.
From his usual chair in the library he could hear the sounds of people going about their lives. Carriages rolled past, pedestrians chatted gaily, peddlers crying their wares. Their lives sounded happy, meaningful. Darcy's life, however, was bleak and empty.
One of the doors to the library was opened. Darcy could see his cousin standing in the doorway holding a rapier. Behind him stood Georgiana with a worried look on her face. Darcy turned away ignoring them until the Colonel spoke.
"You have been sitting in this room for too long. Come, why don't you come and fence with me?" Though the tone was casual, there was something in the Colonel's voice that implied that the question was not a request, but rather, and order.
"No, thank you."
"I insist." It was now clear that it was an order, and being a man of military background, the Colonel was accustomed to being obeyed.
Darcy began to refuse again, then gave up. It was obvious that his stubborn cousin was determined to spar with him so he might as well get it over and done with.
"Very well then." He rose from his seat and brushed past his cousin and sister and headed towards the ballroom. Colonel Fitzwilliam followed behind.
As he left, he fancied he heard Georgiana quietly say to the Colonel, "Don't hurt him, Richard," and his cousin replying, "If all goes as planned, the only one to hurt Darcy will be himself." But lately, his eyes had been playing tricks on him, seeing her when obviously she was not there. Perhaps his ears were also beginning to deceive him.
He entered the ballroom, the only place large enough for such exercise and chose a rapier. Behind him, the Colonel closed the door - and locked it. Darcy did not notice, but removed his outer clothing, his cousin following suit. Once ready, the two men saluted and faced each other.
Darcy was certainly not in the mood for games - all he wanted was to be left alone. Unwilling to begin, he remained on the defensive. But it seemed the Colonel had also decided to go on the defensive and so none of them made a move to attack.
After some minutes, Fitzwilliam said, "Aren't you going to attack, coward?"
Darcy turned red at this but made no move.
The Colonel continued to taunt him.
"You really are pathetic, cousin. You are not man enough to face criticism and try to change your ways. Are you so easily humbled by words?"
At this, Darcy felt his carefully kept control slipping away.
"Stupid fool - you, the man who has everything one could wish for cannot even procure the good opinion of one lady!" He waved his foil mockingly at his opponent.
This had gone too far. Stung into the offensive, Darcy angrily lunged at his cousin, who easily parried the blow and backed away. He attacked again and again. Each blow was blocked and the Colonel laughed and taunted his cousin every step of the way.
Finally, in a great rage, Darcy overextended and left himself open. The Colonel caught him with a feint not even a beginner could fall for and disarmed his cousin, ending up holding both blades. He held his own to Darcy's chest.
"Surrender?"
Darcy breathed hard, exhausted. The Colonel on the other hand did not show a hint of fatigue.
"Yes."
"Good," replied Fitzwilliam. He threw the rapier back to Darcy. "Now you are ready to talk." He approached Darcy, and firmly taking his arm, seated him on a bench before the latter had the presence of mind to protest.
"What?" asked Darcy, confused.
"Georgiana and I are very worried, and as we know you well enough to know that you will never confide in us, we developed this method of getting you to open up." He looked at Darcy sideways. "We truly want to help you, but we cannot unless we know what is wrong. I have an idea, but I need to hear it from you." He paused. "I am sorry about what I said last night. Nor did I mean what I said just now. You are not proud and arrogant. I know perfectly well that you do care about others. Look at how you assisted Bingley out of that unfortunate marriage." (Darcy winced - that was not a good example) "Why did you ask?"
Darcy gave a ragged sigh, too drained and left with no will to resist. Which, he reflected ruefully, had probably been the idea of the duel.
"Some . . . someone accused me of pride, and I believed that she - (too late, he caught himself) - that that person was correct."
Fitzwilliam looked pleased, as his suspicions proved correct.
"This person wouldn't be Miss Elizabeth Bennet, would it." A statement, not a question.
There was no use in denying it anymore. "Yes."
"Well, she is mistaken - "
"You did not see my behaviour towards her that evening," said Darcy, cutting off his cousin's words. "when I went to Hunsford and - " He broke off, unwilling to say more.
"And - ?" prompted the Colonel.
"Proposed marriage to her."
There was a shocked silence.
"You asked for her hand in marriage?" asked the Colonel incredulously. "You, Darcy, in love?" His cousin made no answer. "I knew you held her in high esteem but love? It is amazing!"
"You did not let me finish," continued Darcy as expressionlessly as possible. "She refused."
"She refused?" repeated the Colonel.
Darcy nodded and did not look at his cousin.
"My ears have not heard such incredible news in all my life. It is nearly impossible to believe! Miss Bingley, any woman, would have jumped at such an offer. And did she give her reasons for doing so?"
"Give her reasons for doing so?" Darcy gave a bitter laugh. "Oh yes. Frankly and openly."
"What did she say?"
Darcy leaned back on the cool stone wall. "Firstly, that I had ruined her sister's happiness by separating Bingley from Miss Jane Bennet."
"Bingley? Oh, don't tell me that it was Miss Bennet's sister you were speaking of."
"I am." Anger tinged Darcy's voice as he related the next. "Second was that I had denied Wickham the living promised to him by my father."
"That's preposterous!" snorted the Colonel derisively.
"Obviously he has deceived her. But that is not all," he continued. "Lastly, she accused me of . . . of not behaving in a gentlemanlike manner towards her, that I was proud and arrogant."
Colonel Fitzwilliam made no reply to the last. To fill the uncomfortable silence, Darcy said, "The first two I could defend myself against - I wrote her a letter and gave it to her the next day explaining my actions in the first two accusations. The third, however, I cannot defend myself against."
Fitzwilliam spoke slowly. "Darcy, I know that you would not have dissolved Bingley's relationship with Miss Bennet without a good reason, if you truly believed that it was a bad marriage and that the lady was indifferent to him. And with Wickham I know perfectly well that the tales the man tells are untrue and malicious. But as for the third - " He coughed awkwardly. "I hate to tell you this, Darcy, but I am in half-agreement with Miss Elizabeth's last assessment." Darcy looked at him, hurt and the Colonel quickly continued, "In company you are familiar and comfortable with, though you are quiet, you are the perfect gentlemen. But with those whom you do not know you are even more reserved. You are not comfortable in large gatherings of strangers so you hide your discomfort and remain aloof and distant. To others, those who do not know you like I do, it may seem like pride - for who would believe that a man or your position and wealth is uncomfortable with strangers? and so you alienate many before you even know them. And this will create problems with those you later do wish to know better - like Elizabeth Bennet."
"I am such a fool!" exploded Darcy. "I arrogantly gave her a proposal of marriage, fully expecting an acceptance. I should have known she was not the kind of woman to accept me without true regard. And as for what I said - oh I am ashamed to even remember what I said to her!"
"Well, what did you say?"
Darcy held his head in his hands. "That her relations would be a degradation to me. It was a complete farce of a proposal, Fitzwilliam. I gave the impression I was doing her a favour." Darcy's voice became calmer, more sad and bitter. "In fact, now I see that she would have been doing me a favour, in accepting me."
The Colonel looked at him with sympathy.
"At least this explains your strange behaviour over the last few weeks. I could not tell it was love that was causing you pain - I have never known you to be in love before. I must say with Miss Elizabeth, I cannot blame you." He paused. "You still love her."
Darcy looked up startled. His cousin was looking at him with a small smile.
"You do. And though you may try to deny it, you cannot deceive me - or yourself, Darcy."
"What does it matter if I do or not? She despises me."
"But perhaps you can change that. You have explained yourself with Bingley and Wickham. I am sure she will at least think about what you have said. And as for the 'ungentleman-like manner' - you can change that."
"I can?" said Darcy in disbelief.
"Of course. People themselves alter so much, that there is something new to be observed in them forever."
With a start, Darcy remembered that day when Mrs. Bennet and the two youngest Miss Bennets had come to see Elizabeth and Jane at Netherfield. Elizabeth had said those exact same words.
"Can you help me, cousin?"
Colonel Fitzwilliam grinned. "Of course! This will be the first time, when I help you instead of vice versa. And," said he, getting up and extending a hand to Darcy. "your first task is to explain yourself to Georgiana and apologise to her."
Darcy looked at the offered hand and took it.
28 Dark Days--Part 5
Georgiana must have been relieved by the Colonel's smile as the two men exited the ballroom, for she leapt up from her position in the hall and caught Darcy in a warm embrace. She then pulled away from him and when Darcy gave her a small smile - sad, but a smile all the same - she said,
"It is good to have you back, brother."
Yes, I have . . . . not been here lately. But I vow that I will make it up to her. To everyone, in fact, thought Darcy.
Colonel Fitzwilliam stood slightly off to one side as this reunion of sorts took place. When he caught Darcy's eye over Georgiana's shoulder, he gave his cousin a meaningful look and nodded in the direction of the drawing-room.
"Darcy, I think you owe Georgiana an explanation of your recent behaviour," said he. "For all that she is brilliant in devising schemes, she is not quite able to read your mind."
"Yes, I do," replied Darcy. Georgiana took his hand and led him into the drawing-room, closing the door behind them.
She sat down, unsure how to begin. Never had she had to play the part of listener rather than speaker in moments like these. Darcy also was uncomfortable. He was still unwilling to burden his little sister with his troubles, but it seemed that she was stronger than he had first thought. "I do not know how to begin . . . " said he.
"Then why don't I?" responded Georgiana. "What happened in Kent?"
Slowly but surely, Georgiana eventually extracted the explanation for Darcy's withdrawn behaviour. He told her everything - his feelings for Elizabeth and how those feelings had led to a proposal of marriage. She listened as he told her what Elizabeth had said, and how those words had affected him.
"Don't blame her for what she said, Georgiana," said Darcy, when the expression on his sister's face revealed something akin to shock and anger. "I now see that she was perfectly right in saying what she did. If any man is so arrogant as to propose to you in such a manner, I hope you will follow her example and refuse him."
Georgiana sat without speaking for sometime, digesting what had just been revealed to her. Then she said,
"Don't you wish that you could see her again?"
"If I could look upon her face and know that she sees me not as a monster, then I would be a happy man indeed. But," added he as an after thought, "I fear to, after that evening." He sighed. "Georgiana, I am sorry for how I been these last few weeks, and I apologise from my heart if I have hurt you in anyway. Will you forgive me?"
Georgiana smiled, got up from her seat and walked closer to him.
"I forgive you."
Darcy had closed his eyes as she said the last, and wondered for one moment if he had been dreaming again. He looked up to see Georgiana, not Miss Bingley or Lady Catherine or some other apparition.
But of course she would forgive me. She is so good, she would forgive me for anything.
"Thank you," said he.
Again, she embraced him. He kissed her hair. Though her forgiveness had touched him, he still could not help but wish he could have introduced Georgiana to Elizabeth. That notion was now an impossibility.
Georgiana drew away from him.
"I believe that you should bathe," said she playfully, wrinkling her nose.
Darcy looked down at his sweat-soaked shirt from his bout with the Colonel.
"I believe so too."
Georgiana laughed and embraced him once more.
That evening at dinner, Darcy tried his best to join in and contribute to the table conversation. It was meaningless, mostly about what new gown Miss Bingley had bought or what hopes Mrs. Hurst had for the purchase of the latest material from an overseas country, but Darcy did his best to appear interested.
In the middle of the meal, a servant came bearing a letter on a silver plate addressed to the Darcy household. Darcy opened it and read it aloud. It was yet another invitation to yet another ball, this time held by Sir Wilkins, a rather old man with a fortune of six thousand pounds a year. He was but a small acquaintance of Darcy but held Darcy in high esteem.
"We do not need to go, brother," said Georgiana. There had been many invitations to such balls and parties, but all had been declined by Darcy who at the time was in no mood for socialising. Georgiana had wished to attend some but as time went on and Darcy still declined any invitations, she began to resign herself to not attending any. The Bingleys had attended some, but Miss Bingley, in an attempt to gain Darcy's attention, had said that Mr. Bingley had danced with no young women at all.
This time was no exception. It was plain to Darcy that his sister obviously wished to go but was thinking of his dislike for such gatherings.
Darcy caught Colonel Fitzwilliam's eye. He was looking at Darcy carefully, gauging his reaction.
"Actually, Georgiana, perhaps we should attend. Sir Wilkins's daughter would enjoy your company."
"You will be coming with us, Mr. Darcy?" said Miss Bingley. "That is wonderful news. I must say I found your absence at these functions quite distressing."
Darcy restrained himself from rolling his eyes. Instead, he politely answered, "Thank you, Miss Bingley."
"So we shall go?" said Georgiana hopefully. Bingley and his sisters were also looking at Darcy with amazement.
"Yes, I believe we shall. It is in three days - and you shall have a new gown to wear to it, Georgiana."
As Georgiana and the Bingleys expressed their delight, Darcy looked at his cousin with a questioning glance. His cousin looked back and smiled approvingly.
"I must say, Darcy this is quite a relief, seeing you so well again," said Bingley that evening after the ladies had retired. "I was quite worried - it is so unlike you to behave in such a manner."
"Well, I am better now, Bingley," replied Darcy. "I confess I have not been quite myself lately, but hopefully that is now behind me."
"I certainly hope so too," said Colonel Fitzwilliam from his chair by the fire. "By the way, my leave expires in five days, so in four days I shall be leaving for my regiment."
"You are leaving?" asked Darcy. He had been counting on his cousin to help him solve his problems, both concerning his behaviour and the feelings he still harboured for Elizabeth.
"Yes, I am afraid so, cousin," replied Fitzwilliam. "Will you be needing me?" he asked.
Darcy thought for a moment. Though his pride had lessened, he was still determined to work through this time on his own. Georgiana, he knew could also help if need be.
"Actually, I don't think so."
The Colonel looked relieved, spared from having to choose between his duties and his family.
"Well, I shall leave you two here," said Bingley, rising and opening the door. "Caroline is probably still gloating over her new orange gown that she plans to wear to Sir Wilkins's ball, and so I shall have to tell her to get her rest."
The men laughed and Bingley left, closing the door behind him.
"I am sorry I will not be present for Georgiana's birthday," said the Colonel reproachfully.
"That is a pity. What do you think we shall give her?"
"Perhaps a new pianoforte?" mused the Colonel. "There is a new one in the shop near her music master's; we could look at it someday."
"I care not about the expense - she deserves the best instrument there is."
The two sat for a while in comfortable silence. Then Darcy spoke.
"So?"
"So what?"
"So how did I do this evening?"
The Colonel thought for a moment, then grinned broadly.
"It's a start."
Darcy laughed, for the first time in many weeks.
29 Dark Days - Part 6
Though Sir Wilkins house was quite different from Netherfield, there were enough similarities in the decor and furniture to remind Darcy of the twenty-sixth of November. It seemed like a lifetime ago, though it was but a few months.
Darcy, Georgiana, Colonel Fitzwilliam, Bingley, his sisters and brother-in-law were greeted by Sir Wilkins himself, in whose manner was very similar to Sir William Lucas, but not quite so long-winded and in possession of a dry sense of humour. He welcomed them cordially, his eldest son Edmund and daughter Isabella by his side. Isabella soon accosted Georgiana and drew her into the crowd. She was a warm-hearted, confident young lady, though perhaps having less than her share of common-sense. Darcy privately thought that Isabella was mostly a good influence on his sister. Hopefully she could persuade Georgiana to be a little less retiring and shy in company.
Edmund Wilkins, on the other hand, was more dignified in air than is younger sister and more modern in his thinking than his father. Though his father had disapproved, Edmund had invited his friend Mr. John Barnett, a merchant, and his sister, Miss Suzanna Barnett, to the ball. Sir Wilkins respected his son's opinion, and though disapproving of trades-folk in general, was willing to meet them.
Mr. Wilkins introduced Mr. and Miss Barnett to Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam. Mr. Barnett looked merely the gentleman, but it was the sister that caught Darcy's attention.
She was perhaps, slightly shorter than Elizabeth and her complexion was more pale. Her hair was a lighter brown and though her smile was pleasing, her eyes did not possess the same sparkle. The similarities were not enough to make Darcy believe that he was hallucinating, but more than enough to put him off-balance.
Darcy blinked and pulled his eyes away from Miss Barnett's face to look at the floor. He had been confident that he would enjoy this evening, trying his best to be amiable and pleasing, but this was quite unexpected. He breathed deeply, trying to regain control.
Colonel Fitzwilliam did not notice his cousin's discomfort, but instead made things worse by suggesting that Darcy dance with her.
"I . . . no. A-another time, perhaps," said Darcy. He knew that he was being rude but he need to get away. The room was too warm; there was a doorway leading to the balcony. Darcy turned and headed that direction, vaguely aware that the Colonel was following at a rapid pace.
The moment they were alone, Fitzwilliam pulled the curtains behind them closed and said, "Darcy what on earth are you doing? Why did you turn Miss Barnett down in such a manner?"
"I can't and I won't," replied Darcy, closing his eyes, trying to shut out the image of Elizabeth. He needed to forget her, and this was not helping.
"You are reverting back to your former self, Darcy," said the Colonel warningly.
At this, Darcy gripped the cool stone. He sighed.
"I apologise."
"What is wrong? You have been very good for the last three days and now something has obviously shaken you."
"Can you not see, cousin?"
"I do not comprehend you," said the Colonel, confused.
"You cannot see the similarities between Miss Barnett and Miss Elizabeth Bennet?"
"No I cannot."
Of course you cannot. Darcy had spent so many hours studying Elizabeth's face, remembering it. There was no way that he could forget it.
"Can you?" asked Colonel Fitzwilliam.
"Easily. I still see her. She reproaches me, accuses me. I had thought I had forgotten, these last few days, but it seems that I have not."
Colonel Fitzwilliam sighed in frustration.
"You cannot spend the rest of your life pining after her, paying for that mistake. Put it behind you."
Ha. Easier said than done.
"Do not withdraw again behind your walls," he continued, "If you remain behind them, you will not seek out new friends, friends who would be willing to help."
Darcy turned to face his cousin. Relieved to see that Darcy would not be going back to his former ways, the Colonel went on.
"Remember her, take her words to heart, but do not let that memory control you. Move on with your life. Even - even learn to love again."
"How can you say that?" snapped Darcy, "You do not understand - "
"I am being realistic," said the Colonel calmly. "And that means accepting that she will, most likely, never come to love you as you do her and therefore, trying to overcome your feelings. Unrequited love, though it may be good for a story, is not healthy for anyone, least of all you."
Give up my love? The only thing I have in memory of her?
But Fitzwilliam is right. I am only hurting myself - and others.
Face it. You are living in a dream, if you hold on to the belief that she will come to love you just because you explained yourself to her in a letter.
The dream was not one to let go of easily.
But I must try. No, not try, I will do.
The curtains parted and Georgiana came to join them.
"Is there something the matter?" she asked worriedly.
Having come to his decision, Darcy went to his sister and gently took her arm.
"There was - but there isn't anymore. You do not need to ask our cousin to fight me again, dearest."
From outside, strains of dance music were heard.
"We have been absent for too long - will you allow me the honour of this dance?" asked Darcy, giving a slight smile.
"Of course."
Colonel Fitzwilliam pulled the curtains apart and followed after them.
Darcy took Georgiana's hand and led her to the dance. She looked beautiful, like their mother. She wore her new gown, pale blue with silver lace. Unlike Miss Bingley, who preferred bright oranges and dark, bold colours, Georgiana was content with pale colours and white. Miss Bingley was currently standing to one side, scowling about something.
After the dance had concluded, Darcy saw that Miss Barnett was standing near Miss Bingley. Feeling guilty about his earlier actions, and remembering his cousin's advice, Darcy asked her for the next dance.
Miss Barnett may have looked like Elizabeth, but she had none of the wit and sparkle that had so captured Darcy. He tried to make conversation, but his partner was quiet. If she said more than ten words at a time, Darcy was surprised.
But though she spoke little, what she did say was worth taking notice of.
"Please forgive me for what I said earlier," said he, when the dance had concluded.
Miss Suzanna Barnett smiled. "Do not trouble yourself asking for my forgiveness," said she. "That is past; do not forget though but remember it for the future."
Darcy stared at the woman again. "I thank you," he said finally.
The ball continued uneventfully. Darcy found that he had enjoyed himself immensely. He had danced two more dances - one with Miss Isabella Wilkins, another with Miss Bingley. He had had an interesting conversation with Sir Wilkins - a polite debate on who was the better; King George III or the Prince of Wales who was currently Regent in his father's place. Darcy argued that the King was the better - the Prince lacked his father's ambition to govern and his private life was plagued by rumours, while Sir Wilkins argued that King George III had lost the American colonies and it was rumoured that he was mad. They both enjoyed the argument immensely.
Bingley had even asked three young ladies for a dance.
It had been a pleasant evening for everyone.
Darcy lay awake for sometime that night before he slept. Colonel Fitzwilliam was to leave for his regiment the next morning and Darcy, though sad to see his cousin go, was grateful for his support.
Throughout the evening, Darcy had pondered over his cousin's words. Fitzwilliam was right, it was time to let go of Elizabeth. And what Miss Barnett had said to him - yes, he would remember his mistakes and try not to make them in the future.
Darcy realised with some amazement, that this was the first time he had thought of Elizabeth without pain.
Perhaps he was getting over his love for her.
He slept.
A darkened room; moonlight shining through the window. A female figure sitting on the window seat, her face in shadow.
Darcy knew this dream, and slowly approached the figure. She looked at him but said nothing.
"I still think of you," said he to the shadowed figure. "I still remember what you said. I am sorry for what I did, unintentionally or intentionally. My interference with Charles and Jane was wrong and I am sorry for it. I am sorry for how I have hurt them. I am sorry for my behaviour to your family and friends. I was rude, arrogant, and I cared not for how I may have offended them. I am sorry."
In his dream, Darcy fell to his knees and did not look at the figure.
"But I am most sorry about my behaviour towards you. I cannot reflect on it without abhorrence. I have listened to what you said, and I have tried my best to take your words to heart and mend my ways. Now, I see that I must thank you for opening my eyes. I have lived twenty-eight years without knowing the truth of my behaviour. I only hope that I can come out of this a better person.
"I am sorry for my past actions. I can ask nothing of you - save your forgiveness."
He bent his head, unwilling to look and see who the figure was.
The figure stepped into the moonlight.
"I forgive you."
Darcy froze. He knew that voice.
A delicate, feminine hand reached under his chin, wet with tears and gently lifted his face to look at her.
"I forgive you," repeated Elizabeth softly.
She lowered her head and kissed him, tenderly, full on the lips.
Darcy wished that he would never wake up.
Chapter 30 ~ 'I Shall Conquer This . . . '
Darcy and Georgiana rose early to see their cousin off for his regiment in the North. The others were still deep in slumber.
"I am sorry that I shall not be present to celebrate your sixteenth birthday, Georgiana," said he as they stood on the steps. "Take care of your brother."
"I will. I still wish that you could stay longer," said she.
"I have stayed too long already," replied he. "Darcy, I do not want to hear from Georgiana that you are going to jump into the Thames or such."
"No fear of that. I am quite over it now."
Colonel Fitzwilliam looked at Darcy with a knowing look.
"You say that, but I don't believe it. No one can get over love in a single night." He took the reins from the groom and mounted his horse. "Perhaps a change of scenery is called for, Darcy. Maybe you should go to Pemberley - I remember it is quite beautiful in the summer."
"That is an idea. I think we shall take heed of it and go to Pemberley in a few weeks."
"A few weeks? As soon as possible!" Fitzwilliam gave a mock-scowl and laughed. "Au revior until we meet again."
Colonel Fitzwilliam rode at a trot down the road. Darcy and Georgiana watched him leave until his figure was swallowed by the morning crowd.
Darcy missed his cousin keenly. There was no one to help him laugh at himself or counsel him through times of need. Yes, his days were no longer dark, filled with long hours in which Darcy brooded in the library doubting himself, but he knew that he could never go back to being the man he was before Kent.
The memory of that dream still filled him. But that was all it was - a dream. And that dream did nothing to help him in his determination to stop loving Elizabeth Bennet.
His cousin's suggestion of going to Pemberley that summer was a wonderful idea. Maybe he could invite Bingley and his sisters to accompany him. Darcy enjoyed his friend's company, even if he did have a rather determined sister.
He informed them of his plan at lunch.
"Summer is approaching and Pemberley is a wonderful place to spend the warm months," said Darcy. "I intend to go there soon. Would you do me the honour of staying at my estate, Bingley?"
"Go to Pemberley? I would be absolutely delighted to join you, Darcy," said Bingley.
"So it is confirmed that we shall be going?" asked Georgiana. "That is wonderful!"
"A summer at Pemberley. Perfect," mused Miss Bingley, lost in her own thoughts.
Darcy smiled. He couldn't wait to leave London and travel to the refreshing landscapes and wonders of his home.
Not to mention that Pemberley would help him overcome the feelings he still harbored for Elizabeth.
Plans were made to leave in a week. As Georgiana's birthday would be the day they arrived at Pemberley, Darcy was determined that a birthday present would be awaiting his sister.
The pianoforte he had had his eye on lately was secretly bought and arrangements made for it to be sent up before them. He gave instructions to Mrs. Reynolds for it to be placed in the sitting room.
Georgiana was impatient to be home. She spoke fondly of Pemberley for she loved it as well as he. Darcy noticed that she expressed her liking of one of the sitting rooms that held a wonderful view of the grounds at sunset, but regretted that the interiors were not so pleasing on the eye as other rooms in the mansion. Hearing this, another letter was sent to Mrs. Reynolds asking her to renovate the room in Georgiana's favourite colours of pale blue and white. As another gift for Georgiana on her birthday, Darcy hired a painter to paint her portrait, also to be sent early to Pemberley to greet Georgiana.
Darcy was determined to make up for his abominable behaviour and indulged in his sister in every way. He had no wife to buy presents for to show how much he loved her. That was the main reason for Darcy's continuous activity during their last week in London. He was trying, unsuccessfully, to forget Elizabeth. This was quite easily done when his mind was occupied, but one cannot work forever. It was at such times when Georgiana forced him to rest, but more especially at night before he fell asleep, that banishing Elizabeth from his thoughts was like trying to pick a lock with a wet herring. He would tell himself, before sleep took him, that he did not love Elizabeth but he would dream of her; how her eyes sparkled when she laughed how beautiful she looked when they met in the garden at Netherfield. Sometimes the dreams were repetitions of the one where they had kissed.
Darcy would wake up, torn between his determination to forget her and the pleasure felt whenever he did dream of her . . .
Darcy sat in his study, working his way through the pile of letters. He came to the last, and saw that it had the seal of Pemberley on it. Any business from his estate always received his immediate attention, no matter how small.
It was from his steward, Mr. Cage. It told him that one of the farmers had been lax in his care of the fences that enclosed his land which was right beside the grounds of Pemberley. Unfortunately, that area of land was for the grazing of cows. One of the cows had broken through the fence and had not been caught until it had done some minor damage. Mr. Cage required his master's immediate decision on how much the farmer was to be fined.
'This farmer possesses a rather stubborn nature, and refuses to acknowledge the authority you invested in me. He insists on hearing from the master and no one else. Would you be so kind, sir, as to come to Pemberley earlier than you had originally planned?Yours, etc.'
Darcy put down the letter. He had a great deal of concern in the welfare of his tenants and servants, and though the change in plans would be a bit of a bother, it would not be too much trouble. He would simply leave a day earlier than the rest of the party.
As the day of his departure grew closer, Darcy found to his alarm that work and activity no longer helped.
He was at the fencing gallery, the day before they were to leave London. Darcy challenged Baines to a match. His expertise with the blade had been growing and he wished to test his ability against the fencing master. The challenge was accepted.
Almost as soon as they had begun, it was clear who the winner would be. Darcy pushed Baines back almost to the wall. Finally, Baines conceded defeat.
"Aye, acknowledged, very good sir," complimented Baines. Darcy moved away, very pleased with himself. He heard the whip of the blade behind him as the master saluted, and leaned against the pillar.
"Enough, sir?"
"Enough, thank you Baines."
"Will you be back tomorrow, sir?"
"Not tomorrow, I have business in the North - I will be back tomorrow week."
"Very good sir. Bid you good day sir," said Baines, leaving to attend to another of the young men.
Darcy sighed, tired out. Tomorrow, he was going home. Back to Pemberley - it was the dearest place in the world to him, but it was also where more duties awaited him.
I wish that Elizabeth would also be there to welcome me home . . .
Damn it! There I go again!
"I shall conquer this - I shall!" muttered Darcy to himself before leaving to change and to go back to his townhouse.
He left the next morning, riding slowly through the London streets. He knew that Georgiana was worried that, alone, he might fling himself into depression again. She was only partially right.
There was no meaning to his life anymore. All he had now was his duties and responsibilities. Friends and family for certain, but he had hoped that love would be part of his life too.
Fate it seems, has deemed otherwise.
He reached the outskirts of the city. He turned the horse's head to the North and dug his heels into the animal's flank, inducing it into a gallop.
It would be good to be home again.
God, it's hot today.
Part 31 ~ Lakeside Meetings
The journey to Derbyshire was long, as well as hot, it being summer and all. But it was also uneventful; the moderate pace at which he traveled nearly lulled Darcy into sleep a few times along the way.
Finally, after many days journey, the village of Lambton came into view. Behind it, Darcy could see the facade of Pemberley house.
Home.
Darcy reined in his horse, tired. He did not feel up to riding through the village, where he would be the object of much scrutiny and observation. He had traveled this road many times and he was sick of it, wanting some change.
Well, why not?
He turned the horse's head around to approach Pemberley from behind.
After fifteen minutes hard riding, he slowed and strayed off the path. The afternoon sun was warm, and his dark green coat did not help matters much. Darcy was tired, the horse was tired, but they were nearly there. He could see Pemberley through the trees.
There was sunlight glinting off the lake. The waters looked cool, refreshing. Darcy sighed, wishing he dared swim. But it was not a proper thing for a gentleman to do. If one wanted to swim, Brighton was the place for it.
The water was very inviting though . . .
Who cares? These are my own grounds. I can do whatever I please!
He nudged the horse into a tired gallop towards the lake. A few metres from the edge he halted and dismounted. Leaving the animal there to graze, he put his hat and cane down on the green grass. Darcy walked towards the water's edge, removing his jacket as he did so. He sat down and began to undo his cravat.
As he did so, he wondered if all had been well at the estate in his prolonged absence. With a feeling of guilt, he realised he had been away for nearly a year.
I would have returned sooner, had not my attention been focused . . . elsewhere . . . somewhere . . . someone.
Get your mind off her.
Vest, boots, all were removed until he stood, clad only in his shirt and breeches.
He looked at the calm water for a moment, then dived in.
The surface was warmed by the sun, but below it was cool and refreshing. Darcy swam through the cold water, a brief respite from duty and from the tumult of his tormented and unhappy feelings, before lack of air forced him to resurface.
The next quarter of an hour was spent in a similar fashion. For a few moments, Darcy could forget all his worries and responsibilities and just enjoy himself.
It was those same worries and responsibilities that brought Darcy back to the present moment. The day could not be spent in sport - he had things to do. That business with Mr. Cage for example . . . oh, what was it again?
Yes, I really need to be heading home now.
Reluctantly, Darcy exited the water and gathered his clothing. He went to fetch his horse, only to see it gone. He searched the nearby area, and sighed with relief as he saw one of the groundsmen leading it back.
"Sir? Are you all right, sir?" asked he, concerned.
"I am quite fine. Thank you," added Darcy. He began walking in the direction of Pemberley House. The groundsman followed behind, leading the horse.
They approached the trees, Darcy carrying his clothing in his right and his hat in his left. The slight breeze was easily felt through his wet shirt and it cooled him a little.
"Would you like to ride him, sir?" asked the servant.
"No, no, take him home to the stable," said Darcy, dismissing him. The man led the horse away to the left, while he continued his way alone.
He was nearly home. Just past the trees, down the hill covered with small yellow flowers . . .
The trees thinned out, Darcy looked up from the ground to rest his eyes on . . . Elizabeth Bennet.
He stopped and stared an absolute shock.
What in God's name is she doing here?
"Mr. Darcy!" said she, obviously as surprised as he.
There was a pause as Darcy found his voice.
"Miss Bennet!" That was all he managed to say before his tongue stopped. "I . . .er . . . " he continued, fumbling for words.
"I . . . I did not expect to see you . . . . . . sir . . . . " Her voice trailed off and Darcy saw her lower her fine eyes from his face to the region of his chest. He was painfully aware that he was clad in only breeches and linen shirt, the latter being rather transparent due to his earlier activity. He grew hot and Elizabeth seemed just as embarrassed.
She pulled her eyes and focused them on a more appropriate place. "We understood the family to be from home or we would never have presumed . . . "
"I arrived a day early," said he, finding his voice again.
She did not seem as if she still detested him; if she did, she would have turned her back on him and walked quickly away. Distractedly, Darcy realised that here was the chance to show her that he could act in a more 'gentlemanlike manner'.
"Excuse me, is your family in good health?"
"Ah, yes, they are very well . . . I thank you, sir . . ."
"I'm glad to hear it," replied Darcy genuinely. He searched for something more to say. "How long have you been in this part of the country?"
"But two days sir."
"And you are staying . . . ?"
"At the end of Lambton?"
"Yes, of course. I've just arrived myself . . . " He tore his eyes from her face, embarrassed in his present state. "And your parents are in good health? and all your sisters . . . " he said stupidly.
She laughed, making him even more uncomfortable. "Yes, they are all in excellent health."
The conversation ground to a halt. Darcy tapped his cane against his chest, growing more and more embarrassed.
What must she think of me?
He had better hurry indoors and cloth himself more appropriately.
"Excuse me . . . "
He bowed and walked past her, forcing himself not to run.
The moment he was out of her sight, he began to run.
Darcy nearly flew into through the door, nearly knocking over a serving girl carrying a tray of dishes. She did not let it fall however, but as Darcy ran up the stairs to his own room, he heard a smash as the girl dropped the tray at the sight of her master. Darcy did not register this, but quickly grabbed some clothing and hurriedly changed without even bothering to call for his valet.
I might still be able to catch her!
Elizabeth's very unexpected appearance was a great shock, but whether he felt more pleasure or pain at seeing her he did not yet know. All he knew at the present moment was that she was here, on his property, and he had about three minutes to prove to her that he was willing to forget their past differences and show her that he was prepared to be apologetic, tender, amiable and unsnobbish.
In four minutes he was nearly ready. Darcy ran out of the room, bumping into Mrs. Reynolds.
"Good sir, whatever is the matter? We have had visitors here today and they are - "
"I know, I know, Mrs. Reynolds!" shouted Darcy, flying down the stairs, adjusting his cravat.
A servant hurriedly opened the front door. Darcy ran through, down the stairs, still buttoning his jacket.
In the courtyard he finally slowed, breathing deeply. Another precious moment was taken to check his appearance then he went in search of Elizabeth.
He did not have to search very long for he spotted her walking at a hurried pace in front of the entry to the courtyard where Darcy could see the back of a carriage. He quickly went after after, calling out, "Miss Bennet!"
Elizabeth stopped at the sound of his voice and turned. She did not smile and Darcy knew that she was still shaken by his sudden appearance, as well as his recent appearance itself.
Darcy plowed on.
"Please allow me to apologise for not receiving you properly just now. You are not leaving?"
Elizabeth averted her eyes towards the ground.
"Yes sir, I believe we must."
We?
"I hope you are not displeased with Pemberley?" said he, finding a safe topic of conversation.
"No, not at all."
"Then you approve," replied Darcy hopefully. He was dimly aware that there were two people standing behind him.
"Very much." She smiled. "There are few who would not approve."
Darcy cared not about other's approval - Elizabeth's was all that mattered.
"But your approval is rarely bestowed and therefore more worth the earning."
Darcy favoured her with one of his rare smiles. The atmosphere had become a little uncomfortable, and he turned to see who their companions were.
The pair were well-dressed and politely standing to one side, not interfering but certainly alive with curiosity. Their general air was dignified and calm; Darcy wondered who these people of fashion were that were so kind as to accompany his love.
No, not love. All you can hope from her is friendship.
"Will you do me the honour of introducing me to your friends?" asked Darcy, gesturing towards them.
"Certainly," replied she. They walked over to the man and woman. Elizabeth stood in between Darcy and her friends.
"Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, Mr. Darcy."
Mr. Gardiner removed his hat and Darcy saw he and his wife exchange a meaningful glance. These people were obviously very observant and had noticed something.
"Mrs. Gardiner is my aunt, Mr. Darcy," continued Elizabeth, a slightly challenging note in her voice. "My sister Jane stayed at their house in Cheapside when she was lately in London."
Darcy was surprised. So these were the infamous Cheapside relatives? Darcy had taken them to be people of fashion. He was relieved to note that not all Elizabeth's family were not people to be ashamed of.
"Delighted to make your acquaintance sir, delighted madam," said Darcy, bowing to each of them in turn. "You are staying at Lambton I hear."
"Yes, sir. I grew up there as a girl," replied Mrs. Gardiner.
"Delightful village. I remember running there almost everyday as a boy from Pemberley to Lambton during the horse-chestnut season. There was one very fine tree there . . . " said he, trying to remember which tree it was.
"On the green. By the smithy," answered Mrs. Gardiner with a smile.
"The very one." Darcy turned his attention to the gentleman. "Mr. Gardiner, do you care for fishing?"
"Indeed I do sir, when I get the chance of it."
"Well, if you have time, you must come and fish in my trout stream. Oh, there are carp, tench and pike a-plenty if your course runs to fishing; I should be happy to lend you rods and tackle and show you all the best spots."
Darcy was acutely aware of Elizabeth standing close to him on his left, staring at him with a kind of wonder.
At least her eyes no longer reflect hatred.
He continued, "Or - let us walk down now. Follow us to the lake, my man," he called out towards the carriage driver. He turned back to the trio. "I will show you."
Darcy walked by Mr. Gardiner's side, keeping up a pleasant conversation about the sport and fish in general. Mr. Gardiner proved to be intelligent and cordial and a pleasure to talk to. He sensed the ladies following behind, speaking closely to one another.
He took them to the edge of the lawn which commanded a good view of the river. Mr. Gardiner pointed out the places he suspected held the most fish, and Darcy was surprised to see that the man had got most of his guesses right.
After some minutes, Darcy could no longer restrain himself, and went to Elizabeth, who was standing a little way from the rest of the company. He gestured for her to precede him in the walk around to the walk.
At such a time, they both wished to speak, and both began,
"I, errrr . . . "
They both broke off.
"Please, continue," said Darcy.
"I was going to say again, sir, how very unexpected your arrival was. Had we known that you were to return today we would not have dreamt of invading your privacy," said Elizabeth uncomfortably.
"Please, do not make yourself uneasy - I had planned it so myself but found that I had business with my steward and so rode on ahead of the rest of the party." There was a pause after this speech. Darcy looked at his fair companion, who returned his gaze. Nervously he twisted his ring.
"They will join me tomorrow; and among them those who will claim an acquaintance with you." Darcy dropped his hands and his gaze. "Mr. . . . Bingley and his sisters."
"Oh . . . " She also looked away. Darcy was painfully reminded of the last time Mr. Bingley's name had been mentioned between them; and from Elizabeth's countenance, her thoughts were not much more differently engaged.
Darcy suddenly remembered Georgiana.
Even if we are not to be friends, then at least she and Georgiana can meet each other.
It was the highest compliment he could bestow on Elizabeth.
"There is also one other person in the party," he continued after a pause, "who more particularly wishes to be known to you. Will you allow me - or do I ask too much, to introduce my sister to your acquaintance during your stay at Lambton?"
Elizabeth looked at him in surprise.
Shocks and surprises seem to be the order of the day.
"I would be honoured, sir," replied she shyly.
They now walked on in silence; each of them deep in thought. Darcy was still too uncomfortable to easily talk. One thought dominated his mind - what did Elizabeth now think of him?
He was certain that she no longer hated him, that much was obvious. She seemed as if to view him with undisguised wonder, as if she could not comprehend what she was seeing.
Is she comparing my behaviour with her memory of the past? Darcy asked himself. Surely she can tell that I have changed.
Darcy looked at her. She was still beautiful, though perhaps not as lively as times past. He was confused as to how she felt about him, how she now saw him.
There was only he knew for certain, though; he still loved her, even after all these months, misunderstandings and his trials and tribulations in London. And as he reflected upon it, he realised he had never stopped loving her.
He began to wish that she returned his affections. But no - that was an impossibility. He told himself that all they could now be were common and indifferent acquaintances.
They had walked in relative silence for most of the walk. As they were younger, they had soon outstripped the older couple. They arrived at the road where the carriage was waiting.
He then asked her to walk into the house, but she declared herself not tired, and they stood together on the lawn. At such a time, much might have been said, and silence was very awkward. He wanted to talk, but there seemed an embargo on every subject. At last he recollected that Elizabeth had been traveling, and they talked of Matlock and Dove Dale with great perseverance. Yet time and the Gardiners moved slowly - and his patience and ideas were nearly worn out before the tête-à-tête was over. On Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner's coming up, Darcy pressed them to go into the house and take some refreshment; but this was declined.
Mr. Gardiner climbed into the carriage and Darcy assisted Mrs. Gardiner in doing the same. He turned to Elizabeth, half-expecting her to decline his help and get in herself, but instead to his surprise (and pleasure) she held out her hand. Darcy gently took it and handed her into the carriage.
"Thank you," said she before sitting down.
Darcy closed the door.
"I hope we shall meet again very soon," said he hopefully. "Good day Mr. Gardiner, Mrs. Gardiner," said he, nodding to each of the two in turn.
He looked for a moment at Elizabeth.
"Good day, Miss Bennet."
Darcy bowed his head and stepped away. The carriage moved slowly forward. He lifted his head to see Elizabeth and her relatives one more time.
Then she looked back at him.
Darcy stood still, and held her gaze until they passed around the corner and out of sight.
He sighed, content, and walked slowly back to the house.
Mrs. Reynolds was waiting just inside with the main servants to officially greet the returning master.
"Sir, it is a pleasure to se you again," said she.
"It is a pleasure to be home," returned he. "I apologise for my hasty entrance before; I hope I did not startle you too much," he said to the maid who was standing beside the housekeeper.
"Oh, I am quite well now, sir."
"The visitors we had here earlier today?" said Mrs. Reynolds. "I believe you went to attend to them."
"Yes I did. Tell me, Mrs. Reynolds, what did they say?"
"Oh, it seems that you and the young lady have met before."
"Yes, we know each other," said Darcy, hiding a smile.
"I told them all about you, sir, how good a master you are and all. The young lady seemed to take it all quite to heart."
"Did she now?" said he, pleased.
"She also said she recognised Mr. Wickham among the miniatures. I told her that he had turned out very wild and was now in the army. But then I showed her the portrait of you upstairs in the gallery, and dear me, she spent ten minutes in front of it, just staring at it with a small smile on her face."
"Oh?"
"Yes, she did. In the end her aunt had to shake her out of it, sir," said Mrs. Reynolds, a grin lighting up her homely features.
"That is very interesting news."
And it was. For now, a small spark in him had arisen. Hope that perhaps Elizabeth did feel more for him than he had first thought.
"Very nice folk they were," continued the housekeeper. "The gentleman and his wife were very kind. Their niece, if I may say so, is a very lovely, charming young lady."
Darcy agreed wholeheartedly.
For the first time in many a month, Darcy slept under his own roof.
The day had been very interesting indeed. Elizabeth was no more than five miles away from him, and it seemed that the past had been put behind them. There was certainly no ill-will between them any longer.
Darcy had checked that all would be ready for Georgiana when she arrived tomorrow. The sitting-room was done to perfection, and the new instrument sat proudly in the same room.
And I have another surprise for her, thought Darcy with anticipation. She will meet Elizabeth Bennet.
And that means I shall also see her again.
Did he dare hope that maybe, just maybe, his dreams might come true?
He thought back to when they had come upon each other in the garden, he less formally attired than normal. Darcy remembered the fire in her eyes as she had looked at him - not at his face but at the rest of him.
The feeling that look had generated was very pleasant indeed . . .
Darcy looked at the empty pillow beside him. He envisioned Elizabeth lying there, asleep.
There was no pain in the vision this time, nor did he reject it.
Chapter 32 ~ 'Georgiana, this is Miss Elizabeth Bennet'
Posted on Thursday, 8 April 1999
For the twentieth time that morning, Darcy looked out the window of Pemberley House, only to sigh with frustration as he did not see the carriages bringing his sister and guests. He had been awake since dawn, waiting for them to arrive. Forcing himself not to pace the room, he sat down in a chair and thought back to the day before. He had arrived home, decided to take a quick swim and met the last person he expected to see walking in his grounds. After hurriedly changing, he rejoined Elizabeth and met her aunt and uncle then conducted them personally on a quick tour of his estate. They had parted amiably, with a desire to meet again.
Darcy blushed again as he wondered how Elizabeth must have felt, suddenly seeing him, less formally attired than usual. Though each had been extremely shocked at the meeting, it did not seem as if the misunderstandings, pride, prejudice and other troubles were still there between himself and Elizabeth.
Yesterday's events were still very clear in his mind, but only one thing mattered at the moment.
Elizabeth was only five miles away, and not only did she no longer hate him but she was also willing to meet his sister.
Darcy smiled, imagining how delighted his sister would be to know that she would finally meet the woman who had affected his life so much.
A slight movement outside caught his eye. A closer observation proved that it was Georgiana and the Bingleys' carriage. Darcy leapt out of his chair and quickly went outside to greet them.
The first carriage slowed and came to a halt just in front of the stairs. Bingley exited first, then handed is spinster sister and Georgiana out. Behind them, Mr. Hurst did the same to his wife. Georgiana smiled when she saw who was waiting to greet them. Darcy descended the stairs and told the carriage driver, who was about to leave, to wait for them.
"It is good to be home!" his sister said. Close by, Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley were looking around appreciatively.
"So it is," said Darcy, taking his sister's arm. "But right now, there is someone I want you to meet."
Georgiana curiously asked who it was.
"We need to go to the Lambton Inn - she is staying there at the moment," continued he, side-stepping the question.
Bingley joined them in time to hear this conversation.
"She? Who is here, Darcy?" he asked.
Unable to restrain himself any longer, Darcy announced, "Miss Bennet and her aunt and uncle are five miles away in Lambton!"
This brought all conversation to a halt. Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst looked stricken, Bingley hopeful and Georgiana pleasantly surprised.
"Which Miss Bennet?" asked Bingley urgently.
Darcy looked at his friend, who was obviously hoping it was Jane Bennet. "Miss Elizabeth."
There was complete silence for a moment, broken by Georgiana's happy exclamation, "She is here? You have seen her?"
Bingley was disappointed, but his face still expressed delight. Georgiana was impatient and dying of curiosity to meet the famous Miss Elizabeth Bennet, whom she had heard so much about. Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst, however, were looking at each other, shocked. Darcy reveled in their expressions for a moment, then turned his attention back to his sister.
"Yes, I have seen her, and I am quite anxious for you to meet her. Would you come with us, Bingley? Miss Bingley?"
Bingley with no surprise, immediately accepted. Miss Bingley did not answer immediately; Darcy watched desire to come and desire not to struggle for supremacy on her face. After a few moments, she declined.
"If that is all settled, then we shall leave," finished Darcy. Georgiana began to enter the carriage she had just vacated a few minutes ago, when Miss Bingley said,
"You are going now?"
"Of course," replied Darcy. To halt any further delays, he joined Georgiana, Bingley following behind.
"Is she expecting us so early?" inquired Georgiana as the carriage pulled away.
Darcy hesitated. Did Elizabeth expect them today or later?
"I am not sure. But I wish very greatly for you to know each other."
"I am very eager to see her too," said Bingley. "Ii will be interesting to hear what has happened in Hertfordshire in our absence, and to know if all our acquaintances are well; Sir William, Mr. Bennet, Mrs. Bennet . . . ."
He trailed off, staring out the window. Darcy felt a pang of guilt - he should have told Bingley the truth of Jane's feelings for him and apologised for not informing Bingley of Jane's presence in London.
But he would do that soon enough - right now all that mattered was that the two women he loved most in the world were finally to meet each other.
The carriage pulled in front of the Lambton Inn. As soon as it came to a complete stop, Darcy got out, leaving Bingley to assist Georgiana. He took off his hat and nodded a greeting to the innkeeper. The man's eyes grew wide as he saw who his visitor was.
"Sir!" He looked behind Darcy to see Georgiana and Bingley come in as well. "This is an unexpected pleasure, my dear sirs and madam. How can I be of assistance to you?"
"Good morning, " said Darcy. "I understand you have some guests at the moment - a couple traveling with their niece. Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, and Miss Bennet."
"Indeed I do, sir. Very genteel folk they are; do you wish to see them?"
"Yes I do."
"I am afraid they are out at the moment; I believe Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner are visiting friends while the young lady is out walking. Miss Bennet should be returning shortly; the gentleman and lady sometime later."
Darcy glanced at his companions. "We shall wait."
The innkeeper nodded, then turned to shout through the door behind him, "Hannah!"
The girl stuck her head through the door. Upon seeing Mr. and Miss Darcy and Mr. Bingley she came out at once.
"Yes, Papa?"
"Show Mr. Darcy to where Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner are staying - and if you see Mr. or Mrs. Gardiner, or Miss Bennet, give them a shout and tell them they have visitors."
"Yessir."
"Is there anything else I can help you with?" asked the innkeeper.
"Yes, you can get me a cup of tea, please," said Bingley. "I am eager to see Miss Bennet but if she is not here as of yet I will wait here. You dragged us here before we had even gone into the house to take breakfast," he said to Darcy.
Hannah shyly joined them and said, "This way, if you please sir."
Darcy and Georgiana followed her up the stairs.
The rooms where Hannah led them to were comfortable and well-kept. There was no one inside, but Darcy was determined to wait for as long as he could. He sat down in the chair near the door, while Georgiana restlessly looked around. Hannah was obviously uncomfortable in their presence, and though Darcy tried to ease this, she was still uneasy and regularly looked out the window.
After a while, Hannah leaned out the window and called out to someone in the street below. Darcy could not hear what she said, but surmised that either Elizabeth or her aunt and uncle had returned.
Hannah turned back to them with a smile and said, "She is here and will be coming up directly." She bobbed a curtsey and hurriedly left. Darcy watched the door, listening for footsteps. Georgiana was in the inner room, partially hidden by the wall, looking out the window at the countryside.
At long last, Elizabeth Bennet arrived. Darcy quickly rose, absently noticed that she was wearing the same colours as Georgiana - pale blue coat over a white muslin dress.
"Mr. Darcy." She curtsied and he gave a bow. "I hope you have not been waiting long."
"Not at all. May I," said he, stepping to one side to reveal Georgiana. "introduce my sister, Georgiana."
Elizabeth smiled and moved to face Georgiana Darcy. Darcy watched as his sister shyly looked at the woman who had touched her brother's heart.
"Georgiana, this is Miss Elizabeth Bennet."
The two women curtsied to one another. "How do you do?" asked Georgiana softly.
"Very pleased to meet you, Miss Darcy - I've heard so much about you," replied Elizabeth.
"And I about you."
Darcy hoped to goodness Georgiana would know not to talk about how he still loved Elizabeth. Remembering that Bingley was still downstairs he said, "Mr. Bingley is here with us, and very desirous to see you as well. He insisted on accompanying us." He gestured towards the door. "May I summon him?"
Elizabeth turned to face him, a large smile covering her face. "Of course! I should like to see him very much."
Darcy bowed and left the room, leaving his sister and Elizabeth to talk.
Things were going very well - Georgiana and Elizabeth liked each other immediately.
As for Elizabeth herself, there was certainly no reproach in her manner towards him. Did he dare hope that he could actually win her love?
He looked around the room in search of his friend. He espied him in a corner, talking gaily with the innkeeper.
"Miss Bennet is here, Bingley," said Darcy.
"She is? Wonderful!" He drained his cup, picked up his hat and gave the innkeeper some coins. "Let us go!"
He motioned for Bingley to precede him. They quickly ascended the stairs and entered the room. Elizabeth and Georgiana were deep in conversation but turned at the gentlemen's arrival.
"Miss Bennet!" began Bingley happily. "I can't tell you how delighted I was when Darcy told me you were not five miles from Pemberley! How do you do?" He bowed; Darcy stood at a slight distance away from the group, content to watch. "I can see that you are well."
"Very well indeed, I thank you."
"Good, good, excellent!" Bingley looked at Georgiana, then back to Elizabeth. "And your family? are they in good health?"
"Yes, very well."
"Yes?" There was something in Bingley's tone that Darcy did not miss. "Pray tell me, are all your sisters still at Longbourn?"
It was obvious to Darcy that there was only one sister Bingley was inquiring about.
"All except one," replied Elizabeth.
Even though Bingley's back was to him, Darcy could tell his friend was distressed.
"My youngest sister is at Brighton."
No doubt she is enjoying herself immensely, thought Darcy remembering Lydia Bennet's flirting with the officers. But he politely did not say this aloud.
"Ah," said Bingley, the relief plain in his voice. He looked meaningfully at Georgiana, who curtsied to them both and left to join Darcy. Bingley and Elizabeth carried on their conversation while Darcy whispered to Georgiana,
"How do you find her?"
"Perfectly amiable. I like her a great deal," replied his sister.
"That is good."
They looked towards the lady in question. She laughed and smiled which touched Darcy greatly. He had not seen her for so long, though he had thought of her often, but not always with fondness.
But she was right in every respect, except with Wickham, thought he. I have changed - and so has she in some respects.
"Maybe we can invite her to dinner tomorrow?" said Georgiana hopefully.
Darcy looked at his little sister. "I think you shall."
"Me?"
"Yes."
Darcy remembered his cousin saying that his sister was brilliant in devising schemes. Whether this was another of them, he did not know. Either way, she was too shy to put her plans into action.
"Do you know, I don't think I can remember a happier time than those short months I spent in Hertfordshire," said Bingley wistfully.
"Go on," said Darcy. His sister shook her head, embarrassed.
"Miss Bennet," said Darcy, "my sister has a request to make of you."
Georgiana slowly moved towards Bingley and Elizabeth.
"Miss Bennet . . . My brother and I would be . . . honoured if you and your aunt and uncle would be our guests at Pemberley for dinner. Would tomorrow evening be convenient?"
Elizabeth smiled. "Thank you - we shall be delighted."
Georgiana looked back at Darcy, relieved and pleased.
"I can answer for Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, we have no fixed engagements."
"And shall we hear you play?" asked Georgiana hopefully.
"If you insist upon it, yes, you shall."
Darcy was delighted that she had accepted. He made a mental note to himself that tomorrow night, everything would have to be perfect for Elizabeth.
Footsteps were heard entering the door. They all turned to see Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner there. Their faces showed their surprise and delight.
"Mr. Darcy, we did not expect to see you so soon, but is a wonderful pleasure to see you again" said Mr. Gardiner.
"As it is for me to see you again," replied Darcy.
"Lizzy dear, would you introduce our guests to us?" asked Mrs. Gardiner, glancing at Bingley and Georgiana.
"Of course, Aunt." Elizabeth moved to stand beside Darcy. "Miss Georgiana Darcy, Mr. Darcy's sister," said she, indicating the lady, "and Mr. Bingley, who resided in Hertfordshire for a few months in Netherfield."
"Bingley, Georgiana, this is Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, Miss Bennet's aunt and uncle," said Darcy. "We have invited you all to dine with us at Pemberley tomorrow night - Miss Bennet has accepted the invitation on your behalf, sir."
"That is excellent news, thank you sir."
Mrs. Gardiner, upon hearing this, looked at her husband and silently directed his attention to Elizabeth and Darcy. He wondered what they were thinking of about himself and their niece.
Do they suspect more than is actually there?
"Would you not like to come earlier, Mr. Gardiner? My invitation of coming to fish is still open," said Darcy. He caught a glimpse of Elizabeth, still looking at him with an expression of astonishment.
Mr. Gardiner readily agreed to this proposal. The visit did not continue for much longer afterwards, and Darcy, Georgiana and Bingley soon took their leave. Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner saw them off; Elizabeth stood off to one side after expressing her farewells, staring at him. Darcy looked at her and their eyes met for one moment. She was the first to look away, blushing.
"Till tomorrow, then," said he before the carriage pulled away.
In the carriage, Bingley and Georgiana talked gaily about the visit, each saying how pleased they were to meet them, either again or for the first time. Darcy was silent, wondering what Elizabeth felt for him. He still loved her, but did she feel the same?
Every time I answer one question, another rises in its place.
"I wonder what it is like, living with four sisters," wondered Georgiana. "Miss Bennet said she wished she had a brother."
"If you had four sisters, Darcy would go mad trying to keep all of you happy," joked Bingley.
"I wish I had a sister. I wish Miss Elizabeth Bennet was my sister," said Georgiana aloud.
She looked at Darcy, as did Bingley.
"What?" asked Darcy uncomfortably.
Miss Bingley was waiting for them inside.
"And how is Miss Eliza?" asked she of Darcy. "Are her eyes as fine as they were in Hertfordshire?"
Darcy was too pleased to take offence. "Yes, maybe more so. Her aunt and uncle are here with her, Miss Bingley - the ones who live in Cheapside." He paused. "I have invited them to dine with us here tomorrow."
The look on Miss Bingley's face was priceless, but Darcy pretended not to notice and led Georgiana to see her birthday presents.